#but im hungry and tired and if i save this as a draft i will never publish it

[saltqueer]

Very interested to hear more about and commerce flowed like blood 👀👀👀

so! and commerce flowed like blood, or flow, he/they, is my character for a heart campaign i'm in.

mechanically, his ancestry is cervine, a humanoid deer that's custom to the setting, he's a marsh deer specifically, his class is incarnadine, and his calling is forced (by incarne). his general mission from her is to use the incarnadine move network to set up a series of shrines to her all over sancoteaux, the name of the setting.

backstory wise, he grew up in a society of nomads and moved in to sedentary society as a young adult to attend a university on a scholarship. there, he found the lifestyle shift unexpectedly stressful and turned to gambling to cope. i don't gamble at all, so i haven't specified more than that cause i don't know much about the various types. they eventually became mired in gambling debt, letting their grades slip and losing their scholarship. one day he suddenly found himself on the street with gaping holes where memories should be, and a scarred handprint over his heart. incarne had claimed his life and his memories to recoup his debts.

ever since then they've been doing her bidding, communicated to them by a cold itchy feeling in the scar and writing on the back of a coin with her image on it. i don't really want to write a whole summary of the campaign so far, so suffice it to say they've been confused and stressed and stupid and hair trigger with their gun the whole time. their primary internal motivation is seeking comfort. i feel like there's a better word for what i mean there, but it isn't really shelter or security or rest either, sort of a combination of all four. this is really familiar to how i felt when i was homeless, super struggling to have any plan more than a day or two out and nearly unable to even think of any other way of acting if something could give me even thirty seconds of immediate comfort-shelter-rest-security, even if that compromised access to future comfort-shelter-rest-security, but so stressed and tired that i regularly couldn't follow through on those options either. i've been housed for several years now and i still super struggle to consider any kind of future, although in the last year i have managed to set and work towards two goals that will take me about 2 and 5-10 years to complete, which is very exciting!

back to flow though, right now they're supposed to be working on a scheme to gain control of the secrets network in the city we've been operating in, and they've fumbled it at least three times, almost completely unable to consider a long term plan like that. plus this isn't the kind of life they led before, so they're trying to pick up this new skill of scheming on the fly with no teacher while far too stressed and confused to learn effectively. this has led to many very funny (imo) moments of other characters assuming that because they're an incarnadine they have plans on plans on schemes on schemes, while they sit there exhaustedly thinking to themself that all they have is a gun (currently broken!) and pockets full of random shit.

his most recent fumble of the scheme was that he found his way to a safehouse free of divine oversight owned by jorritt jessey, local priestess of azure and person in control of most of the secrets network in the city. he literally collapsed to the floor when the constant stress of incarne's presence left him as he entered. she wasn't super happy they were there, but after a "negotiation" where they were exhaustedly sitting on the floor the whole time and in their tired rambling absolutely blabbed their mouth about stuff they shouldn't have she ended up agreeing to give them access to it if they put her in contact with bernard tchoch-quay, the party vermissian knight, so she could buy a train ticket somewhere else. they were so consumed with the need to be able to access a place like that regularly that they completely forgot to try to bargain for control of her network after she left the city. the idea only occurred to him after a full night of sleep. so he's currently working on getting bernard to meet her and have that be part of the ticket price, and then having him give it up to flow as a finder's fee. this is the first fumble where he's realized later that he missed an opportunity to advance the scheme, so there's some progress happening! this also made him consider for the first time that he could try to get away from incarne at all. before this i was very adamant that they did not have the presence of mind to come up with that possibility themself, reflecting, again, my own experiences in an abusive and controlling religious situation that governed nearly all my memories. we're using the house rule that you can have a third beat slot for your zenith beat, and after this i added the beat "end the control your master has over you"!

he is certainly learning and trying to have plans longer than a day or two out, but i definitely want his situation to pull him back to that position a few times before he dies/gets out so i can luxuriate in bad decisions and failure and just desperately seeking thirty seconds of comfort-shelter-rest-security at not the cost of the rest of my own life

[shadowkingofswords]

wow i actually got pretty frustrated uploading these lol and the last pic kept giving me an upload error for some reason so im going to save as a draft and figure it out later

but yeah other than technology issues and just like working too long on this and getting tired and frustrated lol

and probably getting hungry and also i am not used to this much caffeine (got a milk tea with the takeout me and my cousin got)

anyway lots of factors at the moment

BUT about the sketchbook i am so excited about all these gesture drawings and i am so proud. and i am being so extra with the sketchbook and uploading literally so many of them because it really is fun to see 2020-2022 how things have changed 

so yeah i have a few more posts coming up and i probably need to take a break but im so bad at stopping when im on a roll even if my physical condition is deteriorating 🧍🏾‍♂️

drawfee drawclass used in this sketchbook

drawfee karina anatomy class 1 bowls and beans!

[chrisbangs]

IT JUST HIT ME WE GET TO HEAR BOXER SOON IM GOING TO VOMIT

[lambroseforlife]

Lambrose with one or more young kids

Hmmm…Im not sure which universe this takes place in. For me, I guess something closer with their personalities that I really liked from Book 1? But anyway, here you go.

— — —

The candles burned into the long hours of the night, flickering occasionally from the draft of wind in the bare hallways. The house was silent with the exception of scratching sounds reminiscent of pen on paper. Two people were still awake during a late hour, working quietly side by side with the towering piles of papers in front of them.

“Ahhhh,” the woman sighed, rubbing at the back of her neck. She stretched her arms, slumping back against the hard wooden chair. Her husband glanced at her.

“Tired?” He quipped, continuing to work on the sums in front of him.

“Just stiff.” She rolled her shoulders. “How far are you?”

“Halfway. You?”

“About the same. At this rate, we won’t finish the balance sheets tonight.”

He opened his mouth to reply when another voice interrupted.

“Mother?”

The couple peered around the stacks of papers to look at the person standing in the doorway.

“Why are you and Father awake?” The small boy approached them, rubbing at his half-open eyes.

“We’re finishing some stuff for work, honey. Did you have a nightmare again?”

“No. I woke up and now I can’t sleep.”

“Are you hungry?” His father asked him.

“No…”

“Thirsty?”

“No…”

“Need to use the toilet?”

“No…”

“Then go back to bed at once.” His father ordered. “It’s far past your bedtime.”

“Can I be tucked in again?” The boy’s gaze darted between them both. His parents exchanged a look.

“Please?’ He pouted.

“Of course, dear.” His mother piped up and his expression brightened. “Your father will tuck you in.”

The man in question glared and hissed under his breath for only his wife to hear. “What? Why me?”

“Because…” She muttered, glaring back. “It’s your turn. Don’t forget, he’s your son too.”

He was about to argue when he noticed the young boy looking at them worriedly. He shook his head in resignation, standing up. He ignored his wife’s smug smile.

“Come along then.” He grabbed a lit candlestick and took the boy’s hand in his own, leading him out of the dining room.

They walked together back to the boy’s room. His father set the candlestick down by the small bedside table. He lifted the covers of the bed and the boy crawled into it.

The man tucked the boy in, making sure that the covers were snugly cocooning his body for warmth. He turned to pick up the candlestick, ready to leave when—

“Father?”

The man paused.

“Yes, Son?”

“Could you tell me a bedtime story?”

He turned to look at the boy, his face impassive.

“Please, Father.”

“Very well.” He glanced at the supine figure. “Once, there was a little boy that woke up in the middle of the night. He went to his parents— who were very busy working on important things— and asked them to put him back to bed. The mother told the father to do it. The father did and the boy fell asleep immediately, allowing his parents to finish their very important work. The end.”

Silence.

After a moment, then…

“Father?”

“Yes?”

“You’re not very good at telling stories.”

The father glared at his son, saying nothing. His son stared back, identical eyes waiting expectantly.

After a minute had passed, the man sighed. He sat down along the edge of the bed, contemplating.

“Once upon a time,” he began in a low voice, “there was an Ifrit.”

His son sat up, attention piqued. The father continued.

“This particular Ifrit had a habit of getting into trouble often. One day, the Ifrit ran into a wealthy man and his bodyguard. The Ifrit saved the wealthy man from getting swindled by a bad guy.”

“What does ‘swindled’ mean?”

“It means being cheated or deceived. The Ifrit helped the wealthy man and in turn, the man offered the Ifrit a job to be his secretary. But little did he know…”

“Know what?”

“The Ifrit was actually a female. But she was wearing men’s clothing to look like one when she met the wealthy man.”

“Why did she do that, Father?”

“She wanted to vote like how males could. However when she went to vote, she accidentally curtsied and gave her identity away. The wealthy man saw the Ifrit being arrested by the police and protested. The police took off the Ifrit’s hat, showing her hair and revealing her true identity. The wealthy man realised that he had offered a job to a female, something that was illegal at the time. He assumed that with his ridiculous proposition, the Ifrit wouldn’t accept his offer. But…”

“The wealthy man was wrong, wasn’t he?” The boy looked up at his father from the pillows, having decided to lie down again.

“Oh yes, he was. More than he could have ever imagined. The Ifrit showed up at his office the next week and demanded for his offered position as his secretary.”

“And then?”

“The wealthy man tried to outwit the Ifrit. He told her that she could only work for him while in the same disguise he had seen her, as a male.”

“Why did he do that?” The boy’s eyebrows knitted together.

“The man didn’t think that females were as smart as males. That they weren’t strong.“

The boy frowned. “The wealthy man wouldn’t think that if he met Mother.”

“Indeed.” His father agreed, his gaze lingering on his son’s brown hair and sea-coloured eyes.

“What happened next? Did she give up?”

“Hardly.” The man snorted. “To the wealthy man’s surprise, she agreed to his terms. He had underestimated the Ifrit’s determination. So he tried other ways to make her leave on her own.”

“That’s not fair. Why didn’t he give her a chance?”

“He didn’t want to at first. The fact that he had hired her was enough to put both of their reputations in jeopardy. In addition, the wealthy man had a lot of enemies. Deep down, he didn’t want the Ifrit to be in danger, danger that he knew was inevitable as long as she worked for him.”

“So she quit?”

“Not exactly. One thing the wealthy man hadn’t counted on was just how stubborn the Ifrit was. She refused to leave, saying that she wanted to earn money for her independence. She stayed— even through the deadliest of times, times that most males would have fled from. With her courage, she eventually earned the wealthy man’s respect. He stopped doubting her abilities once she proved to be more than capable.”

The young boy’s eyes had widened to saucers in awe.

“She stayed with the wealthy man during his expeditions, whether it was sneaking aboard a ship to France or trekking through a war zone in the South American jungles. Over time, the wealthy man fell in love with the Ifrit. But he didn’t want to acknowledge it.”

“Why not?”

“Like the Ifrit, the wealthy man was also quite stubborn. He had been through a lot, betrayed by people he had been very close to. As a result, he had to survive on his own for many years. He learnt the value of money the hard way, through back-breaking work. Because of that, he didn’t trust people. He had become a cold, stingy person. He didn’t want to admit having feelings for her, even to himself. He was in denial for a long while.”

“So did they not end up together?” The boy mumbled, drowsiness beginning to set in.

“No. With time, they couldn’t hide their feelings. Somehow along the way, they grew closer and closer. Until they finally admitted their feelings for each other. But even then it wasn’t easy.”

“Why?” The boy’s eyelids fluttered.

“The wealthy man and the Ifrit had clashing principles. As a result, they always argued. But after a while, they both grew tired of arguing and decided to meet in the middle. Eventually, they both married and started a family. They soon found that the new lifestyle had its own challenges.” He looked down at the boy, whose steady breathing indicated he had fallen asleep. “But that’s a story for another day.”

The man’s hand reached out and gently brushed away the wavy chestnut locks from his son’s forehead. He stood up, taking the candlestick.

“Good night.” He started to head for the doorway when—

“Father?”

He stopped, turning to face the boy squinting at him through barely opened eyes.

“Yes, Son?”

“What’s an Ifrit?”

— — —

I tried a new writing style for this one. A shorter, third person perspective read without any character names. But I think it was obvious enough who the characters were. I’ve read numerous fanfics of lambrose with their future children, each having different names. For this oneshot, I’ve left the decision of naming up to you, Reader, for their child—in this case, their son.

[seokoloqy]

hot chocolate at midnight | myg

summary: “can I come over it’s cold”

genre: crack (pls don’t take it seriously lol I didn’t even delete my own commentary pls don’t think I write like this)

a/n: An unfinished draft I wrote at 3 am which shows what happens to my writing when I’m tired maybe one day I’ll finish? Eh unlikely. I just wanted to share bc it’s sitting sadly in my drafts

Oh man just realized I have another Yoongi draft and it’s LONG oof I really gave up does anyone wanna see it? lol

—

“Hello?” You press the cool glass of your phone against your cheek, as you glance at the glowing alarm clock. The numbers tell you it’s way too early to be receiving a phone call. You throw your duvet aside, feeling the sweltering heat coming from your heater. “Do you know what time it is?”

“Can I come over?” Yoongi’s chattering voice came through the receiver. “I’m freezing.”

You remembered him whining earlier that day that his parents had shut off their heater to save money and that they’d have to tough it out in suffocating layers of sweaters for the winter. While he tried to stay at your house for as long as possible to stay warm, he’d always have to return home for the night.

“Can you climb through the window?” you whisper, padding along the carpet to reach your window. His house is conveniently next door to yours and both your rooms are on the first floor. His light is on and you can see him sitting up in his bed, minty hair sticking out in disarray. He’s been your neighbor for years and to say you didn’t develop a tiny crush on the boy next door would be a lie. It was like a Taylor Swift music video where you were writing on whiteboards and going to homecoming together lmao what?

You unlatch the window and pull up the glass. There’s no screen blocking his entrance because you took that out years ago when you realized sneaking out to go to parties was going to be an ordinary occurrence for you. You just hope your pesky younger brother, Jungkook, never finds out about it because he would definitely snitch on you for just about anything.

Yoongi jumps out of his parallel window and crosses the dewy grass to your house, bare feet sinking into the damp Earth. He can’t wait to get out of the cold and be enveloped by the warmth of your home underneath a fuzzy blanket like a bean and cheese burrito instead oh bitch im hungry.

“Thank you,” he sighs, clambering through your window and practically falling against your carpet to rest his weary eyes. “I was going to freeze to death over there.”

“I guess you owe me for saving your ass.”

He lets out a grunt, reaching his hand up to feel around your bed for a blanket. The floor is just too comfortable to leave.

“Hey YOU BITCH DONT TAKE MY BLANKETS UGH IM SO TIRED”

—

a/n: I’m sorry if I wasted your time 💞

[preslawsblog-blog]

a short week

I know this is the first thing that i post after last Wednesday and i know that i said that i will keep posting stuff and work but although i didn't it doesn't mean that i didn't attempt to i guess it still counts as sth lets say half point. Basically i started writing the next day but i got interrupted so i saved all i had written in a draft so that next time i start writing i can keep it from where i was. Untill now all my posts were directly written in tumblr so excuse me if sth is not correct but im not doing this anymore probably. So after i got back to work and finnished my post i posted it and idk why but the only thing that appeared on my wall was the first draft that i saved and the rest was gone. Like two days after i wrote it all over again and even more it was like 1500 words and after i posted it it didn't appear on my wall and again all my work was lost idk why and what happened but i was feeling really bad... Basically today i will write all i had written on thise posts cause i remember most of it cause i already wrote it twice. So basically is is also the event of the last week. It was a change of my lifestyle so that i will study more and be more efficient at my studying. I said to myself that i will spend most of my time in the library and gonna go home only when i eat or sleep even i could take a lunch with me so at least i get used to trying to study. Basically i think it was a pretty positive change but honestly im not doing enough work for all the time i spend in the lib so im not efficient enough. I need to be more focused and i need to remove all the distractions. I also need to know what i am doing cause often i just open 5 different works and try to work on all of them  and at the end im not doing anything so at least i know what i need to do and thats what think is so helpful about it. So basically last week on wednesday i wrote my latest post actually i think they were two so I just had that decision to lock myself in the librarry i called it the first day in the bunker and thats how i named my post that i never released. After the lecture i went out to kebab rush so that i take my lunch cause its really easy to get hungry while studying so i had a good lunch with my wriends. After that there was a guest lecture. A very famous and good graphic designes was here to explain some stuff to us. I forgot his name i wrote it down but lost it with my first post. So he was showing us his work and saying why it was good he shiwed us some of his ancient designs from the era before internet. They weren't anything special to me but i bare in mind that there was no internet and media back than so im capable to appreciate it. There were some interesting ideas if maps made for pedestrians on streets and airport things and stuff like that. I think that was insightful but only to kniw it in any case its always good to know where the things came from but honestly i dont think it was worthed. I did learned some stuff but it was really hard for me to focuse. Honestly the lecture was so boring. I sware i was the only one trying to pay attention. Everyone around me were sleeping or scrolling through the facebook news feed. The designer once gave example how somebody said to him to be quiet and said loudly "Shhhhh" And my friends got suddenly scared of that thinkin he says that to them cause they've been talking among them. Although they've been quiet the designes was also quiet and we all were sleepy and was so easy to fall asleep. My tutors didn't like the fact that there werent many people cause it wasn't mandatory and people just don't wanna go to this lectures cause they are straight boring. My tutors didn't stay till the end and probably they had some classes but idk i still think that they were just borred and i think that they just pretend to be interested just to give us the right example cause if they are not should we actually be. See people start to lose interest in these lectures cause they are all boring. Than after that frankly i just wanted to go home but i tryed to make the right decision and go to the library so that i can study. I didn't have my catalogue started. At least the work on computer. But i was having the idea so i didn't have to take time for plans. I started with the basics and that made the illustration... Damn that simple illustration took me soo long at least a few hours after that i was placing the different elements like date and place some text about the exhibition and such things. I couldnt finnish it. It was really hard fir me to concentrate and create interesting ideas the graphic design skills were missing i made everything quite basic. At least the folding was more more interesting so is not the wirst thing ever but i was having a bit more to finish it. I stayed in the lib from like 2 to 9 and than i came come made some food for dinner and for the next day cause i cant afford kebab rush every day i wanna study at the library after uni and also i can't wake up early enough so that i can have breakfast. The next day we were having crits and i woke up on time i wasn't really sleepy but it was raining a lot so i waited to stop and i was late with less than an hour but i got on tine for the crit session. I got some feedback on the catalogue i did the previous day. I also got to talk to Zornitsa. She was guest lately and halping us and giving us some feedback. I was lucky that she was bulgarian as well so we were talking to  each other to more understandable language for me so i got mire insightfull feedback. For now i had changed the type cause of her advice and some other stuff. That was the work that we should have been doing while the others have been doing the gifs for the web site. Damn this site... Before i know that we gotta do coding it  from scratch i thought that im actually having some chances to pass but niw man... I feel so fucked. Basically i hate coding. Everyone hates coding. And if i wanted to study coding i would sign up for programming cause its better paid that design. We are suppesed to learn to code for half a month and all the lessons we are having are once a week and we should also make the camplicate design of a site and code it that way so is not a simple cading and i had never done this. It sucks for me cause even for the lessons that we are having in uni im so far behind  cause in the begining of the course i went to bulgaria for my concert and i was having a bit of a trouble there and missed the first few lessons and than when i was back i just couldn't catch up with the group. Everyone have been doing some crazy stuff and i didn't understand anything. Im also having a dislection and its not only hard for me to read huge amounts of text. Like books and stuff. Here theres no logic context and sentences. Heres signs like dots slashes and colins and stuff. All that so confusing to me end don't get me started on when i make a mistake and i have to find it where is... Is cool that when a code isn't working its says where is the mistake but it takes a lot of copying ant stuff like that. You know thats why i never corect my posts its so hard to find and correct all my mistakes cause i just can't see them. I know it sounds stupid but i guess theres sth wrong with me. Is not that bad im handling in normally but im concerned that i might not be able to pass the module cause if that soecific breaf. The problem is that i should be doing it on my own and all the things i borrow fro another weds i have to mention them so i was planning to save the skeleton of some simple site and than change it like the pics banners and words similar to mine i can at least try but even that is not allowed so im really worried and i aint got no idea what should i be doing maybe i can try doing it my way and than say that it was actually me the one who wrote it its at least possible to pass it like that and if not i cant imagine honestly starting from scrach it will take  ages fir me to finnish it... I will focus now on the other stuff and leave it for latter cause at least i wanna get sth ready. So after the feedback from Zornitsa i was trying to be helpful to my group for the group project for the web site.  I was just standing there for atendance and litterally loosing my time i couldn't understand shit that was happening and i was getting tired of doing nothing and honestly i soent way too much time there i don't think that my team actually needs me but ill be there to help if enything else. Eventually we've been working untill 4 or 5 o'clock and actually i was verry tired so altho this was the second day of the "locked in the bunker" Series i was feeling that we actually had done some work like for the day i was having enough feedback and we had done some parts of the group project on top of that i was quite sleepy and it was a real challenge fir me not to leave. So i came home and on the way back i spread some CVs so i can say that although i didn't go to the library today i had done enough work and was a quite productive day. Honestly i forgot what i was doing the rest of the day but i think that i went to bed a bit more late. Next morning i got up late again, had breakfast and than i played a game that we recently bought and im starting to get quite adicted so i played for a bit. I wanted to go letter to the library to go study so  in order to avoid playing for hours that game and waste my day i put an alarm so that i know when is time to go. I went than to the librarry and i started writing in my blog basically rewriting this post. I was writing it for like an hour and half and than im almost sure that i posted it but.. Yeah i did post it but than i checked my profile to see how it looks like, and i didn't see it at first so i waited a bit. I refreshed the app a bit times rested my internet and i was feeling so bad... At least i know now to write it always on my NOTES app cause there everything i write is saved automatically. So basically i was trying to code my site cause there was no way fir me to start doing all this stuff all over again so i decided to change the topic cause for almost two hours of writing i was soo fed up and i mean... The way im writing is i just pick up my phone i concentrate and  i start instantly writing everything that comes to my mind and is almost with no pauses, maybe only when i need to translate some words but apart from that i am constantly writing and i think that this is one of the little things that i can keep my atention to... maybe its because my phone is much smaller and i can controll where it is and keep my focus where it should be and for the computers in the library they are too big and it takes more of my peripheral sight and amont with it i see other distracting things and.. Idk its just much more easy for my phone to keep my atention instead of the PCs. The only thing thats holding me back from writing in my post is i guess the will to actually start writing its like i know that right now i might be free but i fill probably decude to do sth stupid in the next 10 min and i don't actually wanna spend an hour writing. Good ting would be to write befire i go to bed and orobably i could make this as a habit but right now its rather sth that i wanna do but i never do. So i spent the rest of the day trying to make the code for my site and i saw how hard it actually is to check all the codes and make them work property and i got kinda depressed about it cause honesty idk how im gonna pass it.. Basically untill now  i was focusing more on my other stuff like the catalogue and the poster cause this is a thing that i still have to do and is the most denanding thing cause i need to be in track with the lectures so that im having propper feedback. And this is sth that i learned from the last semester that if i dont have corect feedback than i will have many incorect things and at least when im handing out my breafs i would have talked to my tutors and i would know what they are looking for  to be done and i will have it done till then so if theres anything that i didn't do well i will know it cause they already told me. So thats for friday. Honestly i forgot what i was doing on saturday and sunday i know that one of the days i almost finnished my catalogue at least i made it look better i had my poster almost done basically i dont know what actually i should be doing on it anymore i took Zornitsas advice so i changed the type that i was using and than i repaired the little details. And about the catalogue i ictually folded it and i saw that i was having some technical issues so now i have to repair tham but it wont take too much time. On monday i was working no the modules from my last year and unfortunately on tuesday i couldn't attend on my lectures cause i was having a job interview finally.. It was about a work in a hotel on the road between Coventry and Birmingham. I was instructed to take the bust to go to one of the stops and than i should have been waiting for the hotel minibus that would take me to the hotel. So what happened. I went there an hour earlier so that im sure that everything is all right. Than when the time came i started to look for that car and i didnt see it. I called the hotel number but nobody picked up the phone. I kept looking for it than i saw it going  the oposite direction without to stop. I was calling them again for like 20 min  than a woman picked up the phone. I explained the situation and wanted from her to connect me with the man who sent me the invitation. In another 20 he called me. And told me that in an hour i will have to wait for another car. The point was that i was cold and my hands were blue yet from cold. But i needed that job so i waited for it. This time i instantly saw it and got there. It drove me to the hotel there i saw the man i was having conversation with before. He interviewed me, i think i did well but unfortunately i didn't have enough expirience and depending on the other peoples expirience he will write me in a week if i get the job. The think that worries me i that i lied in my cv that i used to work in a bar for a few months but honestly if i didnt write it i wouldn't be called anyway. He asked me some interesting questions and i got to answer all of them and than i got to talk to him so i tryed to convince him that im actually really good about that job. It was well done. Im really hoping to come up well for me. So than i went home but when i got to the bus station i got the bus the other way to Birmingham. I know... I just can't change. Ive always been like that and i swear im still trying... I got home at 6 it was a long travel. I didn't have time and energy to study so i had a dinner maybe played some game and went to bed and thats basically my last week. I think that it was quite busy and its much more productive than before. I hope that in the future ill get used to being more efficient and productive at what im doing.