#but im talking about prebetrayal fords perspective! these are his thoughts based on the info he had at the time!

[godsfavoritescientist]

As someone who is aspec myself, I love the idea of aroacespec Ford within the context of billford. *Especially* Ford grappling with a lifetime of bafflement about romantic and sexual attraction, and then feeling *some* kind of powerful emotion about Bill and getting excited about it like "this is it! This is the attraction thing that everyone always talks about! I'm finally experiencing it for someone, I'm doing 'humaning' correctly!!!" and maybe he's correctly identified it, or maybe its something else, such as queerplatonic attraction, or scientific fascination, but either way, feeling something like this for someone for the first time that feels more genuine than any of his attempts to feel heteronormative love in the past for an *eldritch god* is a whole other thing for him to grapple with, like, the internal confusion of "Why am I feeling this for the first time for a non-human entity? Does that cancel out the increased normalcy of me feeling This Kind of Love? Does it outweigh feeling Love and make me even weirder??"

And maybe, with any luck, this could end with Ford realizing that it *doesn't matter* what kind of love and/or affection and interest he and Bill have towards eachother, and it doesn't matter how much he conforms to society's ideals for what a human being "should be like." It doesn't *have* to be romantic for them to want to be together from now til the end of time. And even if sometimes their relationship might seem like it crosses into romantic and/or sexual territory, *they're* the ones who get to define it, and the multiverse is the limit. They don't *need* to confine the way they see their love for eachother to the human definitions and expectations for how people should feel and act within a long term relationship. And if humanity thinks that makes Ford less human, well, he doesn't fucking care, because what has the seemingly-always-just-out-of-reach ideal of "being human" that society has pushed upon him ever done for him except make him feel intensely isolated and unworthy? It doesn't matter if society hands him the title of "human" that they've cruelly dangled over his head his whole life or not. He is living the life he wants to lead, in the company of the person he cares for most, and that is all that truly matters.