#but instead of nikolai’s despair manifesting as just ‘damn. now what’
Text
(tw blood)
just a silly little guy <3
(explanation in the tags + more stuff under the cut because i’m indecisive as hell)
#the rat doing an angst art for once?? damnn#was gonna shove fyodor’s body in there too but i couldn’t get it right and was unfortunately out of fucks to give#anyway this is based on a possible ending to bsd me and dia came up with the other day#basically the classic nikolai-kills-fyodor-but-doesn’t-know-where-to-go-from-there trope#but instead of nikolai’s despair manifesting as just ‘damn. now what’#he realizes fyodor was indeed not the thing keeping him from his freedom and neither was the government the law society etc#kolyas definition of freedom is being above literally anything and everything that could possibly hold him back#in simple terms. he’s trying to be a god without realizing it#hence why he treats normal human emotions such as guilt and regret for his crimes as chains holding him down#and shoves them under a cardboard personality that doesn’t experience these at all#so now that he realizes he himself is the only thing stopping him from attaining his definition of freedom#he’s like oh shit does that mean the very reason i’ve been living was nothing more than an illusion? and other misc mental breakdown vibes#if you read all that. damn wow i mean thanks#i diagnose you with gogol stan#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#nikolai gogol#nikolai gogol bsd#bsd nikolai gogol#nikolai bsd#bsd nikolai#bsd gogol#gogol bsd#bsd nikolai fanart#bsd fanart#fyolai#tw blood#bsd [rat edition]
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