#but it is funny to have to be like 'oh no I mean marvel/my dog bucky' about various things

[tumblesheep]

sometimes I remember how before we rescued our second dog and had only seen pictures, someone had mentioned he looked like a buckeye to pael

so I woke up one day and he was like "I'm thinking about naming him Bucky."

me, still half-asleep, "After my favorite marvel character?"

him, suddenly realizing, " Oh. No."

and yet

[broflovski-brah]

pets i think the main 5 would have

cartman

he would definitely have a cat (or 3)

he’s like a crazy cat lady and all his cats are really mean lol

They’re all fat too because he spoils them

He’s not great with animals but he’s not terrible either

he just loses his temper a lot (judging by how he was with mr. kitty)

also i wish fluffy would make a return

stan

he ends up with a number of pets

i like to hdc he majors in animal science and he ends up nursing a lot of animals back to health

he’s been banned from animal shelters by his friends because he adopts like al the pets in there (exaggerating ofc)

but he’s awful at naming them

they’re all either the most basic dog/cat names out there or they’re human names

like he has a snake named Joe and a lizard named Michael or something

probably named his dog rover or smth basic (he’s not too creative)

kyle

i don’t care what you say kyle is a fan of animals (let’s not forget his elephant. also there was a clip of gerald walking a dog that i saw so maybe they have one?)

but kyle wanted a dog (he’s not a cat guy) so when he was moved out and had the money he was looking for a dog that would actually run with him

he ends up getting a german short haired pointer/german shepherd mix

he named it bucky because he’s one of those marvel fans lmao

he wanted a dog that would run around with him but also a dog that would calm down when he wanted it to

so after a lot of training he got exactly that lol

kenny

kenny would have really exotic animals

he has an ant farm (which is just ants he collected around the house)

he would probably have rats and mice aa well

he befriended an opossum so there was that as well

he makes up funny names for all his animals

its like the most random shit like he’ll just be all ‘oh yeah this is william snakespeare and alexander rattington IV’

he’s pretty okay with animals tbh

butters

butters would live on a farm as an adult i just know it

he adopts a border collie and names it waffles

he loves the cuter animals. he raises chicks and bunnies and names them all just really random shit

He also adopts three kittens to act as mice patrol in his barn

he probably names them after breakfast foods too

so he just has cats named pancake, toast and bacon

he names his farm animals really randomly though like he did in fun with veal

he has cows, chicks, bunnies, pigs donkeys, ponies, you name it.

i like to hdc he finds a good job that pays REALLY well (because he’s butters of course he would find a job like that) and he wants to buy things that make him happy. like animals.

he donates a lot to animal shelters and anti abuse organizations too

really random but was thinking about it because i’m making kyle have a dog in my comic lmao

[heartfelttickles]

Ticklish Terrors

Note: This is my first ‘long’ fic so I’m aware it’s not amazing haha but I do hope you like it! If there’s anything that can be improved then feel free to let me know, bc I am by no means an expert haha… hope you all have the best day :)

Fandom: Heartstopper

Characters: Nick and Charlie

Words: 1500

Story: Nick and Charlie are watching a movie when Charlie discovers a secret about Nick.

———————————————————————————

It was a cozy, Halloween afternoon at Nick's house. The air was filled with the warmth of a crackling fireplace and the sweet scent of freshly baked pumpkin pie, courtesy of Charlie. Nick and Charlie, sat on the living room couch, enjoying each other's company and intently watching the latest horror movie – Nick gripping Charlie’s hand every time a jump scare happened.

“Oh my gosh, who knew rugby lad Nick Nelson was scared of horror movies?” Charlie jokingly remarked when his boyfriend squeezed his hand for what felt like the hundredth time.

“Hey..” he lowered his voice, still playful, whilst poking Charlie’s side, earning a yelp and a slight giggle “that was uncalled for, there’s no need for this many scares- why couldn’t you let me watch a Marvel movie or something where I don’t feel on edge for 2 hours?’ A slight tinge of red growing on his face.

‘You know I hate Marvel movies and this is just a bit of fun, it’s Halloween of course we have to watch a horror film - it’s an unspoken law.’ Charlie justified his movie choice. Nick simply flinched again when another haunting note was played on the organ.

Nellie, afraid of the loud noises, curled up beside them. “This is just cruel, you’re scaring Nellie now, how dare you terrify my dog’ Nick looked down at Charlie with a cheeky grin as Charlie sassily rolled his eyes.

Nick absentmindedly scratched Nellie behind the ears, and she wagged her tail in bliss. The ‘rugby lad’ shifted his focus back to the movie when Nellie leaned towards his side, her nose sniffing around, in an attempt to find the comfiest place to rest her head. Feeling her nose poking around over his side caused Nick to squirm slightly - his hand flew up to cover his mouth but even that couldn’t stop the muffled giggles from tumbling out of him.

Charlie, never one to miss an opportunity for a good laugh, was quick to notice Nick's amusement. He turned to his boyfriend with a mischievous grin and an eyebrow raised – noticing his lover’s shoulders bouncing up and down with uncontrollable giggles.

"What's got you laughing, Nick?" Charlie asked, his curiosity piqued.

Still chuckling, Nick replied, "I dohont knohow what it ihis, but Nehehellie ihihis snihihiffing mehe. Ihit feheheels so weheheird.’

Charlie's eyes twinkled mischievously as an idea sparked in his mind. Scooting closer to Nick, he playfully wiggled his fingers in the air- Nick’s giggling subtly increasing, which unfortunately for him, Charlie noticed.

"Oh, so you think tickling is funny, huh? Because you’re already giggling more with just my fingers giving near you. I think I’m going to have to test my hypothesis that teasing makes you even more ticklish than usual!" Charlie declared, before pouncing on Nick gently, tickling his sides mercilessly.

Nick immediately burst out into hysterical laughter, squirming and trying to escape Charlie's ticklish assault. His joyful laughter filled the room, echoing off the walls, blending with the crackle of the fire.

‘Aww Nick, does this tickle? Are your sides ticklish?’ He taunted - fingers increasing their speed and exploring every inch of his sides – relishing in the increasing cackles he elicited from his boyfriend. ‘Wow. You’re reacting like this just on your sides when I know you’re more ticklish elsewhere. I wonder what will happen if I just happen to….I don’t know…. Go here?’ Charlie’s devilish fingers spidered into the hollows of Nick’s armpits, drawing out a squeal from the burly lad as he clamped his arms down, thus trapping the notoriously nimble fingers in one of his worst tickle spots.

‘Chahahar stohohop teheasing…. I cahahant…’ is all the older boy could get out as he attempted to thrash himself away from tickles.

‘Aw you’re so adorable like this you know…. But you do realise my hands are trapped here? I would like to have my hands back if that’s okay with you? So be a good boyfriend and lift your arms up for me?’

‘I chahahant – I knohohhow thahaht trihihick’ Nick giggled out, cheeks turning a flushed shade of red.

Charlie simply sighed theatrically. ‘Okay have it your way, I can do this all day, I’ll just stay in your ticklish armpits for eternity.’

After many, many, many attempts, Nick finally mustered the ability to lift his arms enough to release Charlie’s fingers. Charlie finally relented, allowing Nick to catch his breath, but remained on him. Unbeknownst to them, Nicks mom had witnessed the latter of the attack – a grin on her face hearing Nick’s laugh.

‘It’s been a while since I heard you laugh like that Nicky, darling’ she finally broke the silence.

Almost in synchronisation, Charlie’s head whipped around, and Nick’s head popped out from the side of Charlie – juxtaposing expressions of both embarrassment and their residual smiles.

‘Don’t forget Charlie, his inner thighs are his worst spot…’

‘Oh really’ Charlie, grinning back at her before she left, whipped his head back to face his boyfriend and was able to secure himself on Nick’s waist, hands evilly hovering near his thighs, ready to test out this newfound information.

‘Mom you’re such a traitor… Char – Chahar wahahait.’ Nick’s hands shot out trying to push Charlie’s hands away from his thighs, not being able to stop the anticipatory giggles that tumbled out.

‘enjoy the rest of the night darlings.’ She exited the room swiftly - cup of tea in hand, wide smile of joy plastered on her face.

‘I’m dyyying to see this now’ Charlie playfully exclaimed, locking eyes with Nick’s who attempted his classic golden retriever puppy eyes. Any other scenario, Charlie would have caved immediately… not today.

One squeeze was all it took.

‘CHAR- NOHOHO’ An onlooker would have thought he’d been struck by lightning with the intensity of his reaction from one squeeze.

‘Oh…..my….gosh….. you really are adorably ticklish, have I told you?’ Charlie teased, slightly shocked at how ticklish his boyfriend actually was. Without giving Nick a chance to answer he used both hands to squeeze the tenderly, ticklish inner thighs.

‘AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH CHAHAHAHHAHAAR………. NOHOHOHOHO’ Nick positively screamed, head thrown back, back arched, legs violently kicking and thrashing from side to side to escape the ticklish torment from his lover.

‘Aw nick, tickle tickle tickle’ Charlie cooed. Another squeal escaped Nick.

‘The teases definitely make you more ticklish…. Somehow that’s possible… does this tickle sweetheart? Tickle…. Tickle… tickle….’ Charlie enunciated every ‘tickle’ that he spoke with alternating squeezes on his thighs, tears of laughter forming in Nick’s eyes.

He finally let up once Nick’s laughter turned silent. Red faced and breathless yet still giggling with a wide smile on his face – still looking at his tickler boyfriend with the adoration he’s had for him since their first meeting.

Charlie sat next to nick once again, rather proud of his playful victory of proving his hypothesis right.

‘I think you’re the most ticklish person I’ve ever met Nicholas Nelson’ a mischievous glint in his eye as he teased his red-faced boyfriend.

‘You sure about that?’ Nick questioned, his playful energy surging back to him. ‘So it seems tickling is the weapon of choice today then, huh?’ He paused, waiting for Charlie's response.

Charlie's expression shifted, realising he had fallen into a classic trap. "Oh no, what have I done?" he exclaimed dramatically, pretending to gasp.

Without giving Charlie any time to react, Nick lunged forward, expertly targeting Charlie's ticklish spots. His nimble fingers danced across Charlie's ribs, and Charlie erupted into laughter squirming and wriggling, gradually slipping further and further down the couch.

‘NIHIHICK STOHOHOP’ Charlie cackled.

The room filled with the joyful sounds of their laughter, mingling with Nellie's barks of excitement as she joined in the fun. Nick couldn't help but laugh along with Charlie, feeling their bond grow even stronger with every ticklish retaliation.

‘Come on Nellie, you tickled me, now it’s time to help tickle Charlie’ Nick playfully exclaimed to the cheery dog, who simply licked Charlie’s face and settled beside him.

After another few minutes, Nick finally stopped tickling Charlie, both boys left breathless and feeling an indescribable joy radiating between them. They sat back on the couch, leaning against each other, recovering from the tickle-induced euphoria.

‘ I think we've had enough tickles for one day, we still have a movie to watch’ Charlie said, grinning widely.

Both lads locked eyes on the TV only to find the credits rolling in the movie – much to Nick’s delight. Unable to control his smugness of not having to watch the horror movie, Nick glanced at Charlie. Almost telepathically, their hands attracted each other into a tight hold – maintaining their eye contact of admiration and affection - when they both softly uttered the words ‘I love you’ followed by the most endearing of smiles from both lads. A passionate kiss sealed their phrase, followed by Nick’s choice of romantic movie.

As they sat there watching the new movie, the room enveloped in a cozy silence, Nick and Charlie relished in the warmth of their relationship. Laughing together, sharing playful moments, and creating memories like these reminded them that this is the love they both deserve.

[maukiki-but-cringefail]

Rating Aguma screenshots from my gallery (because theres no other fury character that was drawn more inconsistently than him and also im bored out of my mind)

1.

Vicious. Ominous. Bro is about to actually fucking kill someone. I mean he always looks like hes about to kill someone but this is something else. Whyd bro switch so quick. You know Id make the “you aint got one battle where you needa be this serious” joke but since hes a legendary blader he does but not this one bro. Its just ginga and yuki calm your ass. Id count the amount of wrinkles on your forehead but i dont have enough fingers for that. Plus points for the face scrunch. Minus points for not having the majoras mask clocktower bell noise when this exact frame shows up. 9/10

2.

What is this. Atrocious. UNACCEPTABLE. What the fuck happened to his face. You look like a rabid dog. He always does but like here? God damn now i get why my friend calls you mulch. You look like a bear who just woke up from hibernation. Can you like, be dumbfounded and baffled normally. God damn. Are you not like a grown ass man. Dumbass. Be normal 2/10

3.

My goodness gracious. Absolutely mischievous. Plotting. Looks like hes about to kill someone again. Please back off a little bit. Fw energy tho bro is enjoying the fight for sure 9/10

4

Im filing a restraining order get him away from me 0/10

5

What is this. Explain yourself. Im sorry is this like, a cycnus impression. Cauze you look like a fucking bug rn. Like straight up. Your pupils are not supposed to be that big and your eyes are not supposed to be that sparkly. You are not the tbh creature. Stop this madness 5/10

6

Okay when i first saw this while watching the scene i laughed for a solid ten minutes because he wasnt even the focus at the moment (bao was talking) and my eye slipped and saw this and oh god. He looks like a cardboard cutout😭he looks like hed stiffly fall over and shatter to a billion pieces if you poked him😭😭he looks like hed disintegrate into dust if someone touched him😭😭😭bro is COOKED if i flip the canvas.😭😭😭😭this is horrendous i know hes ugly but this isnt my aguma bring the real one back . Hes so uneven. One point for absolute horrendous image resolution 1/10

7

EHUM. EUGH. EUGHEGHEHEUEGAGSHDGSVGWUWYWHSK. The fuckin😭😭the😭😭the. The😭😭😭thehis eyes are about to pop out of their sockets someone help this manAND HELP ME TOO WHILE YOURE AT IT😭😭😭ohmygdodudgshsjsgaha. Context is even funnier this is when he loses to tithi and hes on the ground defeated tweaking the fuck out LMFAOOO😭😭bro is fuming with rage bcs he lost to a kid i hate him i hope he dies a billion times and then he dies again. Thank god dynamis was there or he might’ve actually killed someone 10/10

8

Unbothered. Moisturized. Happy. In My Lane. Focused. Flourishing. Actually i take it back this dude is never unbothered . The hair 😭😭 wet fucking dog go to hell 8/10

9

Amazing. life changing. phenomenal. incredible. awesome. wonderful. marvelous. Outstanding. THE screenshot. The first and only screenshot ever taken. THE one. I filled my gallery up with this exact image by duplicating it (there was about a thousand of the same image) (my friends called it “dog blockade”) and also set it as my wallpaper as a joke and its still the same because i forgot to change it. At first i was scared of it because he was so close to the screen and i was met with this fucking picture everytime i exited out of an app. But now i have become emotionally attached to it like hes just saying hi to me everytime i quit an app. The emotional support screenshot. I take what i said about the tbh creature back. Why cant he look like this all the time😔the eyes the :3 mouth. Scene context is also so funny “aguma. are you coming:)” “mmhmm :3” ?????182^2^72[£^£]2]€ Everything is perfect no complaints. 10000000000000000000/10

10

This image will be the cauze of my untimely death. No comment. -√7⁴/10

[imyourbratzdoll]

𝒎𝒚 𝒌𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒏 (ma chaton)

valentine's day masterlist - car sex & sex in the woods

summary - your boyfriend jake takes you rollerskating for valentine's day.

warning - slight angst.

the gif and headers I use aren't mine.

Warnings and Reminders - Please do not plagiarise, copy, repost/republish, adapt, or translate any of my work on any social media platforms, apps, or third-party sites. The only platforms I post my work on are: Tumblr and Wattpad. I do not own any character of any franchise (Marvel etc.) All my works are fiction and may be dark or triggering content: READ ALL WARNINGS BEFORE PROCEEDING.

“Hey, kitten, are you ready to go?” Jake stops and stares, his mouth dropping open as he looks at your outfit. Drool is practically coming out from his mouth, his eyes slowly dragging down your body, taking in the pretty short white dress with light grey flowers. “Maybe we should stay home? I mean, we could go out tomorrow?” 

You giggle, pushing your glasses up as you look at your tall boyfriend. “No, baby. You promised me something special for today… And I finally get to wear my new dress.” You pout, giving him your best puppy dog eyes. 

Jake pouts, looking at you sadly. “Aren’t I something special? And I could think of a few things we could do while your in that dress.” He moves closer to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and staring at your face. “What do you say, kitten?” He watches sadness fill your eyes as a sigh escapes you. You nod, about to pull away to get ready to stay home yet again, until Jake pulls you back. “I’m joking, kitten. C’mon, we have places to be.” 

You look up at him sceptically. “Are you sure? You seemed like you really wanted to stay home.” He leans down and places a kiss on your head, dragging you along and out of the room, an arm securely wrapped around your waist. 

“Shh, kitten. I don’t want my baby to be upset. I’d do anything to make you happy.” He smiles, pressing a kiss to the side of your head before opening the car door for you and clipping your seatbelt. Jake quickly jogs to the other side and gets in, one hand resting on your thigh and the other on the steering wheel as he drives. “You’ll love what I picked!” He smiles, pulling into the parking lot of the place.

A giant smile appears on yours as you notice the flashing sign. “You’re taking me rollerskating?!” Jake nods, and you squeal, quickly unbuckling your seatbelt before you dive across and onto his lap. Smothering his handsome face with kisses, “Oh, baby! I love you so much!” Jake smirks, cupping your cheeks as his lips move with yours. 

He pulls back and reaches into the backseat, smiling as he grabs the box and brings it to the front. “I got you these as well!” You gasp as he opens the box, showing a pair of pastel pink rollerskates. 

You reach forward and grab them, tearing up a little. “Baby… They’re so pretty! Thank you!” You peck his lips before the both of you decide to get out of the car and head inside the building. Jake comes around and holds your hand, helping you put your shoes on before putting his on. 

As the two of you skate, he holds onto you as you both make cool moves. You break into a bunch of giggles as he falls over. Jake glares playfully, getting up and chasing you. “Oh yeah, kitten? You think that was funny? Wait till I catch you!”

“Ahh, no! Jake! Don’t you dare!” You giggle more, skating away from him. A squeal escapes you as he catches you, wrapping his arms around your body and pulling you close to him. Jake attacks you with kisses and tickles. “Okay! Okay!” 

He pulls back and smiles down at you. “I love you, kitten.” 

You rest your hands on his chest and smile up at him. “I love you too, baby.”

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

[hithertoundreamtof23]

Watching No Way Home with my family (it's their first time)

part 1

Context time! So... for the past week, we've been watching a Spider-Man movie each night. We are finally at No Way Home and because my family has never seen any Marvel movies (aside from Spider-Man) I thought I'd share what they say that I find funny.

PS. They don't really know about my Doctor Strange obsession (except my brother who is evil)

~~~~~

(Matt Murdock appears)

Me- He's blind

Brother- yeah I can tell by the cane

Mom- is he like a super hero?

Me- yeah, he's Daredevil. He lost his sight but he has like a radar sense

Dad- don't all blind people have that?

Me- no? Not really.

~~

(Wong shows up)

Brother- "oh it's Doctor- (Wong turns around) who is this?"

Me- "he's the Sorcerer Supreme"

Mom- "the what?"

Me- *sighs* "he's in charge of the magic in the universe"

(Dr strange comes in)

Brother - "Doctor strange?! Is that Dr strange like your doctor strange? Like your crush? OoOo" 

Me- *blushing and sweating intensely *

Dad- "isn't that the same actor that you liked in Star Trek?"

Mom- "Aww you have a crush?"

Brother- "he's the British guy with the silly name!"

Me- *shrinks under the blanket and wants to die 

~~

Mom- "Why does he (Dr strange) want to kill everybody?" 

Me- *Goes into long speech about how he is misunderstood and used to be a doctor but now knows he can't save everyone 

Mom- *resumes movie* (part about multiverse sacrifice) "I mean, Strange does have a point" 

Me- *excited about getting a strange-is-misunderstood recruit*

~~

Mom- Does his cape have a mind of its own?

Me- it's a cloak and yes

Mom- aww it's like a dog

~~

Mom- (about mirror dimension) "I'm dizzy!! I'm going to have to close my eyes" 

Me- "his movie is even worse XD" 

Dad- this would be cool in 3d

~~

Mom- doc ock aged well *blushes* (my dad agreed XD) 

~~

Mom- (about Stephen) "he's funny!!"

Me- yeah :)

~~

Dad- I'm glad Peter got more mature 

Me- I mean, he was traumatized 

Dad- trauma will do that XD 

~~~~

Part 2 tomorrow!!

[scarletsaphire]

tell me about kit!

*cracks knuckles* You have fallen into my trap. Prepare to hear about the singular best character that has ever been created.

Kit Baxter, also known as the Flying Squirrel, is the sidekick to Canada's greatest superhero, the marvelous masked man known only as the Red Panda from the radio show Adventures of the Red Panda. She is also his chauffeur for his secret identity (which remains secret even to the listeners for most of the show.) One other important bit of context is that the show is set during the great depression in Toronto, Canada, so life kinda sucks ass a little bit.

Kit is a first generation Russian immigrant, her father ran a boxing ring and taught her to drive. She's quick witted and quick on her feet, can throw a mean right hook, and drives better than most other people in the city, which earned her a spot as a taxi driver. Panda ended up in her car in his Secret Identity, asked her to drive (recklessly) to a crime scene he wanted to stop, and she, obviously, refused. She wasn't going to be running around like an idiot for some rich asshole. Panda than waved some money in her face to try and get her to listen, and what did she do? She said no, because she isn't some trained dog that'll bark for some rich asshole the moment he gives her a bone. She'd rather go hungry tonight than do that kind of shit for him, and if he's gonna act like he doesn't even know what manners are, he can get the hell out of her cab. (Once he says sorry and asks nicely, than she puts the petal to the metal.)

She's also like. So smart and cool and good with people, she's a jokester and flirtatious (mostly with Panda because she likes flustering him, its really funny) but she's allowed to be all of those things without ever feeling like "Oh she's just there to be the attractive side kick." Kit is very much her own person, its just that she happens to like being a thorn in Panda's side and sometimes that means batting her eyelids (and climbing up walls in a skintight cat suit).

Kit became the Flying Squirrel after, and I quote "I figured out your secret identity and then blackmailed you into letting me play." She cares so, so deeply about the people of her city, especially the people on the streets she comes from because she did not grow up in a nice area of town, and she is constantly trying to fight for the most vulnerable parts of town, despite many of them looking down on her as a woman, especially a woman in her field. She never takes anyone's shit, either towards herself or anyone else, and she is always ready to throw hands with someone she thinks deserves it.

(I'm going to be getting into spoiler stuff underneath the cut. I am asking so very nicely for you to listen to the Adventures of the Red Panda. They're on spotify here ad free, and you can also find them on their website decoderringtheatre.com along with all of their other shows and their audiobooks. It truly is one of the most impressive, fun, and thrilling stories I have ever read, watched, or heard, and it is Criminally Underrated. If you think this is even like. A Tiny Bit Interesting, throw on the first episode, its only 20 minutes, see if you like it. If you don't mind spoilers, or ended up not liking it, keep going.)

Something that I really, really like about Kit is how she's handled later on in the story, once we get into WWII. Her and Panda get married, and she ends up pregnant right as he ends up MIA (presumed dead by most of the world) and she is left to try and defend all of Toronto largely by herself with a child on the way and Archangel, a nazi spy whose manipulating p much everything, bringing havoc upon her city.

It would be super easy to let her fade into the background during all of this. It would be so, so easy to write her off as so many different things do as a mother and a wife and leave her at that. But they don't. She steps up as the mastermind behind everything, pulling the strings of their connections they've forged over the years, continues to fight in her suit until she physically can't anymore, working as hard as she can in and out of costume to make sure that her city, because with Panda gone (not dead. She never believes he's dead for a second and has and will fight anyone who says otherwise.) It is her city and her people and she will not let it fall to ruin. She will not let anyone else, Nazi or American or Canadian or anyone take her city from her.

Katya Baxter is a wonderful character who is just so, so funny and amazing and if anybody knew what the Adventures of the Red Panda were she would be an absolute HIT of a character on here. I love her so, so much.

[nerdnag]

"Now then, Sunshine," Hubert said, plucking a fresh sheet of parchment from the corner of his desk and readying his quill. "Tell me about this person you wish to bring into Lady Edelgard's service."

"Really, Hubert, you should be ashamed not to have heard of my dearest Sara before!" Constance crowed. She unfurled her fan purely to brandish it for dramatic effect. "Her talent for the magical arts is simply extraordinary! Th-though, no match for my own, of course…" she added nervously.

"Yes, yes, your magical prowess is unparalleled," Hubert intoned, waving a dismissive hand yet smiling fondly. "Continue."

Constance stomped her foot. "Hubert! Have you forgotten which of us is the more skilled with Morfean magic?! Anyway… Sara is really quite accomplished in her field! She is trusted with the most important clients, and many of her coworkers rely on her expertise and insight. It is marvellous how skillfully she interprets contracts of privacy law and explains them to others! And the other day, she came up with a most revolutionary Excel formula as well! Why, I believe that with the proper training, she and I could truly be Sister Sages of the highest calibre!"

"And that is not all," Constance continued on. "No no! Sara has many talents off the battlefield as well! She pens the loveliest stories. In fact, you should read the wondrous tale I commissioned her to write about our activities on our wedding night—"

Hubert choked on his coffee.

"And she draws quite skillfully also!"

"Please tell me you didn't commission a painting to go with that story," Hubert groaned, head in his hands.

"Oh, no, I mainly commission her to paint flattering portraits of myself," Constance replied airily. "One of my favourites is a particularly striking one of me against a starry sky that I'm sure you shall like to see sometime!"

"Ah, but I can see you against a starry sky any night I wish, lovelier than any painting."* Hubert smirked as Constance flushed and began fanning herself, clearly flustered.

"I— yes, well—" Constance took a moment to compose herself again. "Let me finish telling you about my dearest Sara's redeeming qualities! She is an excellent friend: a joy to be around, and her presence is sure to brighten one's day. She is funny and kind, and, dare I say, very nearly as charming as myself!"

"I see. She does sound quite promising." Hubert put down his pen. "I shall have to conduct a background check, of course."

"Is my word not enough?!" Constance protested. "Need I remind you that for all your repute as Imperial spymaster, you had not even heard of such a dazzling star as is Sara before?"

"Need I remind you who it was that brought Epimenides himself into our midst?" Hubert shot back, but there was no real fire in his voice. "Based on your personal recommendation, I shall expedite the process. If all goes well, we will send this Sara a formal offer by the end of the moon."

Constance huffed, unable to argue the point. "I suppose that is agreeable enough."

"It's settled, then. Now, I believe we have tea with Lady Edelgard to be getting to." Hubert stood and offered Constance his arm. "Shall we, my dear Countess Vestra?"

Constance took it, positively glowing at the form of address. "Yes, Count Vestra, we shall!"

* Eifie double dog dared herself to write this line.

OH. MY. GOD?! You wrote this for me..? 😭💚

Original Eifie work! So cleverly written!! Lots of references to my fic and little details about me and incredibly well-characterized! You even went out of your way to include romo 🥹

THE EXCEL FORMULA ASDFGHJKL it truly is like magic. Also I LOVE the idea that every single art work and fic I've ever made of/about Constance has been commissioned by her. That is hereby canon.

Thank you for taking me into consideration for the position!! 🙏 (Though I must admit I'm a little scared of what Hubert's background check will mean for me......)

[markosbabymama]

Hiiii<3

1st, I found ur page yesterday and I love it!

2nd, could I request a matchup pls? Could be for anyone lol

Anyway, I’m 5ft. Like on the dot man. I’m more on the curvier side. My skin is light normally but I just got back from the beach so I have a tan lol. I’m also an introvert (unless I’m with friends) and an INFP. Along with major social anxiety. I’m a virgo.

I have hazel eyes that are more on the green side. My hair is slightly passed my shoulders and is wavy/curly. I’m in the process of trying to heal it after years of heat damage. It’s dark brown and I have bangs.

I love art and books. Along with animals. I have a cat, dog, and turtle. I love the ocean. My aesthetic, I would say is salted granola. I saw a tiktok once and was like ‘yes. That one.’ Im a big marvel, dc, and Star Wars fan. Music is like my life. Literally had 1526 minutes played last week. I’m in a honors choir class, book club, and art club. I have a green VW beetle.

Idk how much of that u needed but oh well🤷‍♀️ thank you love you🫶🫶

aww omg ty sm!! i’m so happy u like my content!

okay so idk what fandom to do but i’ll do ck to play it safe lol!

you would be the cutest with demetri ???

.

y’all have been besties since u were kids, like it was u eli and him

so when u hit puberty, both of em were like 👁️👄👁️

and y’all had crushes on each other for the longestttt time so when he finally grew a pair and asked u out it was like

“so, do you wanna go to the movies tomorrow?”

“oh sure! should i pick up eli?, or do you want to?” “o-oh no i meant like, just me and you y/n.”

*ur obviously screaming on the inside and blushing.*

“oh u- uhm, i would love too! what time?” “let’s say 4:30?”

“yea. i would really like that dem.”

“awesome! uh- i mean- psh, yea it’s cool. whatever” *leaning on his locker to act cool.*

“okay. cool. see you tomorrow.”

HE WAS SO EXCITED MANNN

and when eli found out he was so happy for y’all bc he was y’all’s #1 shipper.

.

he definitely teases u abt ur height, always has.

but it’s demetri so it’s all in good fun.

“so like, do you think you’ll ever grow? you’ve been 5’0 since you were 13.” “oh piss off tree trunk.”

A LOT of playful banter is going on in this relationship.

“why do you HAVE to put everything on the top shelf.”

“because it’s funny. watching you struggle to get a cup. better then television.”

“you know i’m the perfect height to punch you in the guts.”

“ohh shes fiesty today.”

.

demetri is a very mouthy sarcastic guy, but only with his close friends.

hes also very shy so he obviously doesn’t mind it

and he definitely helps you with ur social anxiety 🥹

*at a crowded party* “hey are you okay? do you need something? a water?”

“i’m okay dem, looks likes you’re worried about me.”

“psh i’m not worried about you. just don’t need you dying on me and everyone’s think that it’s my fault.”

*lauging* “you’re a jerk dem.”

.

always makes jokes that y’all have the same eye color.

“y’know, i think we were meant to be y/n.”

“why’s that dem?”

“because we have the same eye color, what kinda couple has the EXACT same eye color? no one. we’re special. it was definitely meant to be.”

“you’re actually crazy, you know that?”

“no i didn’t. but i DO know that we were meant to be.”

*laughs* “you’re such a dork. you’re lucky i love you.”

always takes pics of ur eyes side by side AND has it as his wallpaper 😭😭🥹🥹

.

ugh he lOVES ur hair

loves it.

plays with ur hair all the damn time

has your loose hair ties on his desk and in his backpack LMAOO

“dem have you seen my hai-“

“your hair tie? yeah i have about 50 of them in my backpack.”

“really? welll, can i have one… please?”

“no y/n im revoking your hair tie privileges. yes you can have one.”

“thankssss demmie!!”

.

loves going to museums with u🥹

he doesn’t really care for art but he goes anyways to make u happy🫶🏻

“y/nnnn, i have a suprise for u”

“what is it dem?”

“i got us tickets to the art museum! you’ve been talking about it so much lately, so i thought i’d take you today.”

*y/n bear hugging him* “OH MY GOSH!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOUUU!!! I LOVE YOU DEM!” *kisses him on the cheek*

*lauging* “you’re welcome, i love you too.”

.

definitely loves ur aesthetic

and secretly loves going shopping with u lol🤭

*y/n dragging demeitri to another store* “y/n, another store?”

“yes demetri! you wanted to come anyways, so suck it up and help me pick out more outfits.”

it’s like one of those scenes in a corny chick flick where you go in and out of the dressing rooms showing him outfits LOL

.

MARVEL AND DC MARATHONS ALL .THE .TIME.

definitely getting into arguments over who’s team cap and team iron man 😭😭

“y/n how could you possibly be team cap!? bucky killed tony’s parents and he tried to justify it by saying he was brainwashed????”

“because dem!, he didn’t understand what he was doing. it’s not his fault!”

constantly saying that you’re mary jane and peter because he’s nerdy and you’re gorgeous 😭

.

loves looking at all ur stuff u painted/ drew in art class

literally will post them on ig and show them off like he did it LMAOAKS

he’s so proud of u cause u can paint

.

LOVES U CAR OH MY GOSHHHH

he was so jealous when u first got it lolz

him and eli were in literal shock

they were both so excited because now u didn’t have to pay for ubers/ have eli’s mom drop u off LMFAOOO

.

A/N: OH MY GOD I FINALLY GOT THIS DONE AFTER GOD KNOWS HOW LONG😭 i hope u like it this took me so long to finish for no reason?!?

[agentnico]

Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022) Review

Doctor Strange WISHES he was everything everywhere all at once. But nope. That strange fella is NOTHING! He’s NOWHERE! He’s....what’s the opposite of ‘all at once’? Later? Dribs and drabs? Oh I dunno, you get what I mean. Multiverse shmultiverse!

Plot: An aging Chinese immigrant is swept up in an insane adventure, where she alone can save the world by exploring other universes connecting with the lives she could have led.

The only things I’ve watched prior to this of the directors’ Dan Kwan and Daniel Scheinert (who collectively call themselves the Daniels) works was the 2016 Swiss Army Man that featured Paul Dano hanging out with Daniel Radcliffe’s farting corpse, and back then I should’ve expected that these two will not limit themselves there upon how much weirdness they can cram into one movie. So now we get A24′s Everything Everywhere All At Once, that brings us the real multiverse of madness, no shade towards Doctor Strange with the same name. Look, it’s difficult not to compare these two movies seeing as they both released so close to one another and happen to handle the concept of the multiversal theory. Oh, and there’s also that little factor of star Jamie Lee Curtis starting a social media feud against Doctor Strange showing that she is errr... very passionate about being part of Everything Everywhere All At Once. Throwing around comments how her film “out marvels any Marvel movie they put out there” or how Doctor Strange did a “copycat” poster, or comparing dick sizes, sorry, budget sizes of the two movies. “COMPETITIVE? Fuck YES. I wasn’t head cheerleader in high school for nothing” screams Curtis, and I’m not going to lie, I am living for her self proclaimed internet war against Marvel. Totally unnecessary but 100% entertaining. Anyway, my lovely fiancée brought my attention to Curtis’ vocal proclamations and we both agreed we should go see her “little MOVIE THAT COULD AND CAN AND IS CRUSHING the box office” and see if her words had much ground. And yes, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness left a bit of a sour taste in our mouths after seeing it, so we were hoping for some better multiversal mayhem.

To put it simply, Everything Everywhere All At Once is amazing! It’s difficult to talk about what its about, since the title is very accurate with the movie being this beautiful blend of ideas and genres. It’s a science fiction, a black comedy, a drama, a fantasy, a martial arts film, a family film, absurdism and even an animation at one point. It’s got moments of real emotion, like truly some scenes at the end really got to me and I didn’t tear, but gosh was I close. It’s also really funny, but it’s the kind of humour I was shocked to see in a film. You know when you’re with your mates and you talk hypotheticals or outlandish scenarios that you find absolutely hysterical but then if some stranger heard you they’d think you were a total wacko. Well this movie is filled with those kind of ridiculous moments and concepts and that was a cause for some very solid comedy. Not the laugh-out-loud kind of humour, but the kind where you’re like “WHAT??” and “did they actually just do that??”. I’m not gonna spoil any of these moments, but I’m just gonna say hot dogs and Ratatouille. Once you see this film and see it you should, you will know what I am referring to.

For all its wackiness and bizarreness, this movie at its heart is filled with thought-provoking, emotionally resonant themes about family, existentialism and the role we play in the universe, let alone the multiverse. The idea of acceptance and staying true to who you are and not having regrets for the choices you’ve made, will make, or have not made, at the end of the day you are you, I am I, he is he and honestly I’ve lost my train of thought. I don’t know where I was going with this. Regardless, this movie gives you the feels and it gives you the thoughts. However bringing it back to the multiversal concept, the film does something truly unique and original with that idea. Instead of simply having the main character Evelyn (played superbly by Michelle Yeoh by the way) jump from one reality to another and doing whatever she wants, the entire idea here is that you can not necessarily go into a different universe, but you can’t connect with your alternate self and develop skills from that alter-ego to then use in your own reality. Naturally the more alternate selves you meld with the more reality begins to distort and you begin questioning which reality was the original one, but I must say this take on the multiverse, though I still have a few questions on certain technicalities, was a very cathartic experience to watch. But what adds to the brilliance is that even though we get a lot of multiversal madness and randomness, it all still managed to connect to the movie’s central themes. Even the most weirdest oddities still in some capacity build up towards the overall story and its characters. Its both disorganised yet so interconnected and to the point. 

Everything Everywhere All At Once is a wildly original feature filled to the brim with unique visual gags, and its truly one of the more unrepeatably eccentric films to come in cinemas this year. I forgot to even mention the cast, they are all great. Michelle Yeoh, Ke Huy Quan, James Hong, Stephanie Hsu and Jamie Lee Curtis all do their part. Heck even Jenny Slate who I usually find annoying is used to good use here. This movie is sensational and the only knit pick I have is that the first 30 minutes are hard to get through. It’s a lot of fast talking and very sporadic and I was confused for a good ol’ while but then once I got onto the movie’s eccentric level I bought into it fully. I’m sure once I re-watch it I’ll be able to enjoy even those first 30 minutes. But nothing is disputing the fact Everything Everywhere All At Once is remarkably unique and entertaining. And hell, I may just absolutely love it. Yet in a different universe I probably hate it. In another one I haven’t even seen it. In another universe I simply don’t exist. In another, the universe isn’t even a thing and gosh golly I feel I am experiencing EXISTENTIALISM!!! 

Overall score: 8/10

[eolewyn1010]

Dragging Frankenstein - prologue

Well, fuck it; I miss posting more various stuff of my own instead of just reblogging, so I'll post the snark I have bestowed on Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. Don't be misled; it's a hell of an interesting read if one can get over the Regency prose, but the protagonist pisses me off to unholy degrees, so I shan't be too respectful. I'll do it my way, with only arbitrary regards to the lingual differences between Now and Then (rule of Funny goes, folks) and with my silly little counters. Don't take to seriously. Onward to the prologue, and one Captain Robert Walton, who is not our protagonist!

“in a country of eternal light” – wtf, Walton? Does he mean polar days? Bc those are not eternal, but then he does spout a lot of purple prose (and so does the entire book).

And more weird fantasizing – “passage at the pole”, what’s that supposed to be good for? “secret of the magnet”???

“my education was much neglected” – yeah, stop marveling at your self-taught brilliance already; I swear, Walton and Victor both are so egotistical it’s no miracle they can take an interest only in one another.

Also, Walton had an emo poet phase. And his Chemical Romance didn’t take off. LOL.

“worked harder than the common sailors” – sure you did, you spoiled little rich kid. “preferred glory to luxury” – I’m getting distinct Stede Bonnet vibes here, and in a very Privileged White Guy way. And he keeps exotizing Russia. I SO PRIVILEGED: 1

“longing for a friend” calls in the Gay™, and after bashing his so-beneath-him sailors for a bit, it settles in with “I desire the company of a man […] whose eyes would reply to mine. You may deem me romantic…” Counter starts now. DAS GAY: 2

“shall certainly find no friend on the ocean” – yeah, chill out, we saw your subtle foreshadowing. Why does he keep telling his SISTER how his early life went??

His “best years spent under your gentle and feminine fosterage” leading to a distaste of brutality is ever so slightly sexist in several directions, but it also rings in the theme of every goddamn female character being cast in the light of a maternal figure – even when that is not the relation in which she stands to the character in question. EVERY WOMAN IS A MOM: 1

Whyyyyy does the gossip about his ship master’s failed love story take up so much space? I dunno this guy???

“as silent as a Turk”, “ignorant” and “savage inhabitant of some island” – oh, hai, racism!

Is one single dog really strong enough to pull a sledge with a person plus luggage on it?

Funny how Walton describes Victor as all emaciated and shit, and yet goes insta-thirsty like “must have been a noble creature in his better days, being even now in wreck so attractive and amiable” – and Victor is “uneasy when anyone except myself enters his cabin”, gotcha. DAS GAY: 4

And five minutes after knowing him, Walton declares him the “brother of my heart”, and his “affection for my guest increases every day”. DAS GAY: 6

The unfounded praises of Victor being “wise, noble, gentle” get on my nerves, but imagine my eyebrows at the lines “a groan burst from his heaving breast” and “my thirst for a more intimate sympathy”. Because… huh. DAS GAY: 7

Bitch, where do you get off calling your sister fastidious? She probably had the same education you did! Get your ego out here.

Walton’s crush on Frankenstein is already getting old; does he need to gush about him like he’s the bees’ knees? He doesn’t know this asshole at all! “his lustrous eyes with their melancholy sweetness” – ok, Walton needs to get laid. DAS GAY: 8

What a queer intro, and no, I don't plan to stop making fun of this kind of language. It's the only redeeming grace of these characters.

[homeofjonicles]

The Jonicles - Entry 16 (strip drawn by Alex Hirsch)

Note: This is the sixteenth entry of The Jonicles, hence why the date does not match when this is being posted. This was written back in June of this year before I started this blog, and there will be errors or developments in how this series was being written. Please enjoy (or don't enjoy) the sixteenth entry of The Jonicles!

It is currently the 30th of June, 2022 at 6:59 am. I'm on holidays, which means I have had much more time to indulge in my Garfield hyperfixation now that school is out of the way (for now). And I didn't realise I forgot to write an entry for five whole days... It is also day #43 of my Jon Arbuckle hyperfixation. I'm losing it.

When most people think of Garfield, they usually think of the currently ongoing strip that's been in syndication since the late 70s. The once charming, funny strip that has since seemed to have lost a lot of what made it charming and funny to a lot of people and is now mundane and inoffensive. Some may think of the cartoons that aired during their childhood, like Garfield And Friends, Garfield In The Rough, Here Comes Garfield, the holiday specials and the oh-so cursed 3D cartoon, The Garfield Show. Some may think of the terrifying and awful movies they made, like the live action ones and probably the strangest piece of Garftoon history, Garfield Gets Real. Seriously, what was up with that movie?? Bonita's sythe shaped head still gives me nightmares to this day....

But not many people think of the name 'KaBOOM!', which is a comic publishing company that is an imprint of BOOM! Studios. They publish comics ranging from Peanuts, Regular Show, Adventure Time, and of course, comics about our loveable fat cat and his equally loveable dorky owner and pet dog sidekick, Garfield, Jon, Odie and their many msiadventures. Not Lyman though.

I have heard almost no one talk about this, and the only reason I discovered it was when I was snooping around on Tumblr looking for my daily dose of Jonstanence. I came across a blog called garfieldfashion through clicking the link of an image of Jon looking grumpy while holding two jugs of fresh lemonade on a beach that I had never seen before. And from there, I found a goldmine of posts featuring my favourite dorky cartoonist in many different artstyles, obviously taken not from the regular Garfield strip, but instead from something else, and I thought it looked veeeery familiar to me.

I scrolled down, marvelling at the art style of the cropped panels, thinking it had been the work of a very passionate and dedicated fan of the Garfield series, an unofficial fan work that was posted online for all to enjoy. However, as I scrolled, I came across an image that stopped me in my tracks. An image I had definitely seen before. It was Jon, and he was sitting relaxed in a chair at his cartooning desk, and he was wearing a yellow sweater with a blue jacket and appeared to be talking about his loveable self. "Why, that's the Jon fancomic I saw on a fan casting website that one time!" I thought, looking both shocked and excited that I came across that oh-so enjoyable image of Jon once again, something that was drawn so masterfully and something that clearly had so much effort and care put into it. It was pleasant. But as I remembered the struggle of trying to find more pages of that comic and coming up with nothing, I knew I had to know more.

This blog clearly knew their sources. There were multiple cropped pictures taken from what appeared to be the same comic, and curiosity struck me. Where was that Jon comic from? I had only seen the one page out of context, which is the image I put with this entry. Where was the rest of the comic and where could I read it? And most importantly, who made it?

That was when I noticed the text underneath the images, and I realised that was the name of the comic they were taken from. But some of them simply said "Garfield #37" and I knew that probably wasn't going to get me anywhere, so I scrolled up towards the images that had an actual name attached, which was "Garfield: TV Or Not TV?" and I looked it up, and lo and behold...

... It was an actual published comic! Like, it had a proper publisher and everything! And it was on sale, too! Like, a proper A4 paperback comic book, not syndicated as a strip or anything. It had more than three to seven panels that actually took up every centimetre of the page! There was no daily limit to how much could be told, it was a continuous effort of actual storytelling! As I scowered Google Images and gazed upon the many vibrant, gentle colours that seeped into every love-poured page, I could feel something, somrthing that in real life I only truly felt with like two people I had ever met... I was in love.... Platonically. With this comic.

Eventually I found a website that hosts these comics for free, and I delved into these mysterious and amazing panels, filled with colour and life and originality. And I was hooked. My first priority was finding where that Jon Arbuckle panel was from, and I read on the little caption underneath that Tumblr post that it was issue #16. Sone spoilers ahead!

It starts off with a story about a girl who is trying to sell lemonade, and after giving Garfield and Odie a free cup, she vents to Jon that she can't seem to get any money because of a man named Lyle, who's a competitor in lemonade selling. shenanigans ensue with a delivery race and a swapping of lemonades, but that's not the main point of talking about this issue. What I'm really interested in is the Jon panels and what they are.

It's a funny little story where Jon is a self-aware character who is also being drawn by himself, talking about how he is being drawn along with the whole comic while also drawing himself! Confusing I know, but it quickly becomes a lot of hilarity once Jon starts getting phone calls from all these women who make up a Jon Arbuckle fan club which fun fact, I am in fact a part of! And the only gay man there... Jokes aside, Garfield comes in and starts providing snarky commentary as Jon quite literally illustrates how Garfield is an obidient cat who has normal eating habits, how Liz is super overdramatic and hopelessly in love with Jon and is uncharacteristically over-doubting her ability to be with him, and then she gets hit on by another guy and Jon literally becomes a superhero and saves the day... yeah, it's pretty self-aggrandising! I think the only accurate thing there is Jon looking a little more handsome in his portrayal, but that's probably just me being biased... So Garfield goes over to Jon's cartooning desk and starts drawing how he thinks the comic actually goes, and ends up doing almost the exact same thing Jon was. Having (who i think is) Vito delivering a shitton of pizza and lasagna to him, talking about how Odie promised to never lick or slobber on him again, and of course, having Arlene be the damsel in distress. All the while, Jon's there outside the panels all like "Wait what's Garfield doing at my desk..? Hang on this isn't right... You know what, fuck it, I'm gonna go make dinner."

It's funny, it's charming, it's everything Garfield used to be and ten times more, and not to discredit Jim Davis or anything, but I think I actually like these comics way more than the actual strip. Of course, you couldn't fit an arc like that into three panels alone, but the comedy really hits so much more than it usually would. And not to mention the fantastic art! It's so expressive and bright and colourful, and they do this really cool thing where some comics have a different artist draw it, and it's so cool to see all these talented people draw an actual published Garfield comic in their own unique way. And the writing really feels like it was pulled right out of Garfield And Friends. Not too crazy, but not too mundane or slice-of-life-y. And many of them have little callbacks to episodes and arcs of Garfield And Friends. There's this cute little comic where Nermal actually gets mailed to Abu Dahbi and it turns out there's a bunch of kittens there, and Nermal isn't the cutest out of all of them. He wins a cutest kitten competition after failing previously, and he won because he was covered in mud, and got enough money to get sent back home. Him and this other cat who got him into the competition walk to the airport, and it turns Nermal caused a whole "fashion" craze with kittens covering themselves in mud because it's the cutest thing to do. And it's drawn in such a lovely art style, it's adorable and pleasing to the eyes. It feels so soft and comforting like a children's book.

So yeah. The KaBOOM! Garfield comics are awesome, they really feel like a "by fans, for fans" type of thing. The only gripe I have with it is that Jim Davis is always credited on the cover, and maybe I'm taking this the wrong way, but he actually didn't draw any or most of these. A lot of them were actually drawn by Andy Hirsch and David DeGrand. And they weren't written by Jim either, but instead Mark Evanier and Scott Nickel. And boy, did they do a fantastic job on these. It really does feel a lot like an episode out of Garfield And Friends, it's amazing and I'd recommemd it to any Garfield fan who wants fresh, new and funny comics to read.

That's all really. As usual, I would like to welcome Jon once again into my chaotic brain and my heart with the added knowledge and love for these comics that I had literally no idea even existed until now. Have a good read, Jon. Love you man :)

Last edited at 9:02 am

I really do love these comics a lot. They're so full of soul and personality, the art styles are lovely, it really does remind me a lot of Garfield And Friends. Not much else to say here, other than these are awesome and Jon is adorable. Also garfieldfashion rocks, give 'em a follow!!

Also, I would post a link to the site I found the comic hosted on, but the thing is, I don't know if the comic is legally hosted on there and I don't want anyone to get in trouble, so just to be safe, I won't link it.

Cheers,

Your Local Jonnoisseur

Posted on the 23rd of July, 2022 at 10:00 am.

[st6rgirrl]

my intro no. 3 or smth

fun fact: this post is sponsored by my insomniac issues and weird humor, enjoy WELCOME TO MY BLOG :) i support all races, genders, sexualities, and if you don't, i suggest you exit 🤗

✻　about alias and pronouns: you can call me nicole, nini, or coli. she/her. i'm a taurus personality type: infp-t. chloreic-melancholic. chaotic good. gryffindor.

im an asian-american bi-curious disaster teen with a mouthful of vulgar language and a head full of dreamscapes and colors, and a fanfic enthusiast. i tend to drown myself in overthinking and fake scenarios. you'll probably see me leaning on the wall of a cafe on a rainy evening while reading something like the bell jar or anything that involves a depressed lesbian woman from the 1900s (it's weird, i know). i'm often lost in my head and losing my grip to reality because reality hurts. despite the fact that i'm a dreamer, i have high expectations for my future (such as becoming a marvel actress in my late teenage years and meeting THe ZeNdaYAaa). anyways...

i am a mcu fanatic. in fact, the reason why i'm not straight is because of scarlett johansson as the black widow in captain america: civil war (i mean how can a woman look so beautiful). i am in love with middle aged/early thirties female celebrities (taylor swift, anne hathaway, scarlett johansson, kristen stewart, rihanna, lizzie olsen, i could go on and on), and also with old men that fought in world war ii (bucky barnes and steve rogers). it's kind of weird. also i'm obsessed with tom holland and zendaya. VERRRY obsessed.

i write spideychelle fanfics iykik

dni list: any homophobic/transphobic/whateversexualityphobic person. y'all are not welcome.

anon is always open! 💕

✻　favorites flower: lily of the valley season: autumn (think about it-- cloudy skies, red and orange leaves everywhere you go, doc martens against scattering pavement, scraps of waxy parchment under fingers, the cool crisp air) or maybe summer (cardboard cutouts of the city under rooftops, hot mid july air, that kind of sugar high you get without illegal shit, dragonflies landing on spllitered wood, sunlight streaking across green hills) holiday: christmas ⭐ scent: the yellowing pages of an old book, laundry detergent (idk it smells good ok) tv show: wandavision or gilmore girls movies: oh sweetheart i have so many... (spider-man: homecoming, captain america: civil war, black widow, thor: ragnarok, basically ANy MARvEl mOVie, 10 things i hate about you, twilight etc) model: def naomi campbell colors: platinum, periwinkle, midnight blue, garnet red, maroon books: OMFG (the bell jar, the unabridged journals of sylvia plath, villette by charlotte bronte, so basically any 20th century queer women's book, my year of rest and relaxation, the harry potter series, red white and royal blue, normal people etcetc) actors/actresses: ZENDAYA (seriously how does someone that hot exist), kristen stewart, tom holland, chris evans, scarlett johansson, anya taylor joy aesthetics: downtown girl, chaotic academia, messy french girl, uptown girl, divine feminine animals: cats and dogs!! MUSIC ARTISTS: taylor swift, lana del rey, arctic monkeys, girl in red, lou reed, deftones, phoebe bridgers, mazzy star, dream ivory, cigarettes after sex, ariana grande, taylor swift (yeah i mentioned her again but cmon) comfort characters: natasha romanoff, yelena belova, michelle jones-watson, peter parker, tony stark, remus lupin, luna lovegood, mia thermopolis, lane kim cities: new york city, paris, london, austin, los angeles, rome

✻　faq what do you look for in a significant other? what's most important: that i'm comfortable with them. i can laugh and be carefree. they have to be cute and shit, but also kind and funny, sort of chaotic (like me when i'm not shy). the thing i want to do the most is just to hang out, to laugh and feel giddy, to do the cheesiest things like dancing in the rain and watching sunsets and sunrises and doing each others makeup (if they do makeup), and watch early 2000s rom coms and do a marvel movie marathon. im sorry ok how much do you curse? um, it depends. on who is around. if i'm with my wild and unruly friends then i'm the most vulgar of them all, it's actually kind of disturbing but i get really proud when i use 289237479238 vulgar words in a 5-word sentence (how is that possible, you say? well hon everything is possible so). if i'm around my parents, then i'm as clean as a christian minecraft server that you can lick it off the floor (if that fancies you, darlin') (god why did i become british for a sec there). if i'm with people i'm not very familiar with, then it depends on how much they curse. least favorite things/pet peeves? I HATE IT when someone mistakes the lyrics for a song that i know and keep on going. idk but it just gets on my nerves a lot, so beware. especially a taylor song. also, maybe irrelevant but i absolutely despise sad endings in a movie. surprising because i've married to marvel, divorced it, and married it again, had five kids with it (why did i say that god). but still, hate sad endings bc i'm the most tear-sensitive piece of shit you'll ever meet. i cried reading a dog man comic book at age 12. don't ask. future dream? become a marvel actress in late teens, meet and work with tom holland and zendaya (who will both be, hopefully, husband and wife), also simultaneously get into a sapphic summer film about a depressed teen and a lesbian hot chick, meet the love of my life by film and eventually die happy. doubtfully ambitious, i know. i should be a slytherin.

OK BYE FOR NOW 🐸🧶🎨🌌⭐

[morelka]

YAY IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED THE BIRD FACTS also today i literally saw a kereru And a harrier hawk lmao what a good time for bird facts!! good time to mention you’re more likely to see some specific birds in different regions depending on where your staying but i guess you’d be travelling during an exchange right?

anyways, penguins!! there’s more penguins than this but off the top of my head: hoiho/yellow eyed penguin which are funky little creatures that somehow look mad at you but that’s part of what makes them so endearing to me they’re so silly haha. idk if it’s the hoiho specifically but sometimes there will be colonies of penguins on some beach that’ll come out at night if you’re lucky :)

WHIO how did i literally not mention whio yet. also called a blue duck i think doc (department of conservation) used to have a video game where you could play as a whio i don’t remember i was a kid but it was very cool. i’m gonna try find it after this list

harrier hawk since i saw one today, flies with wings in like a v shape, very quiet usually and looks very cool. you can also see them on the sides of the road eating roadkill. this can make driving difficult cause sometimes they’ll fly out in front of you and you can try to swerve which could be dangerous or hit it :(

ruru/morepork, our only owl!!! they look very funny but i love them, you can sometimes hear them when ur camping. big yellow eyes very silly goofy bird

possums! also not a bird but you will probably see one of these. they are Very Bad for our ecosystem (same goes with dogs and cats that are allowed to roam the bush, ferrets, stoats, rats and most land mammals tbh, since most of our birds aren’t adapted to deal with these.) australia likes their possums but we don’t. their fur can be brown or grey, the babies are kinda cute but the adults scare me a little haha. if you’re camping and you shine a torch into the trees sometimes you’ll see eyes shining back at you, that’s possums! not to be confused with american possums which are white and i think are kinda cute also

fairy terns, also called tara-iti, i did a school report on them in year 9. found in coastal areas, looks kinda like a mini seagull. possibly our most endangered indigenous breeding bird since they nest on the sand they’re vulnerable to a lot of stuff. i love them

huia, extinct. they looked very cool, had long curved beaks, black with orange cheeks. their feathers were a symbol of leadership. love them

moa, also extinct. BIG birds. i mean giant. i love them so so much i want to bring them back jurassic park style. wanna bring back the huia as well but MOAS. you can probably see a skeleton of one if you go to a museum. go and marvel at the magnificent-ness of the moa

seagulls, since you mentioned them. our seagulls are BASTARDS !!!! you’ll be on the beach eating fish n chips and oh look a seagull. oh look haha five seagulls. oh haha look twelve seagul- my cHIPS

love seagulls

weta - again not a bird but your probably gonna get freaked out by one if you don’t know what they are. basically they’re giant flightless crickets. big antenna, they look scary but they’re mostly harmless (just googled it apparently they bite? oops. never been bit though) if u leave them alone they will leave you alone

that is all the birds (and non birds) i can think of for now. it’s funny the thing you said about not having albatrosses since i’ve always been jealous of europe since you guys have a bunch of cool corvids like crows and ravens whereas i think our only corvid is magpies? and you have squirrels :( but i guess i never though of it from the other side lol

let me know if you have any questions also btw!! there are more birds than this so i may return again with more and perhaps non birds like the tuatara since those are pretty cool

omg omg omg thank you so much! so sorry for my late reply life has been messy messy

i can’t believe im receiving such an amazing list of animals to look out for!!

also i checked out the game it’s so cute omg i love it

wow i didn’t even think of the fact that you don’t have crows! they’re such a stable here i feel like something would be missing without them haha (also yeah love watching squirrels climb they’re super cute)

also thanks for the warning of the crickets haha i love insects but i’m used to very small ones :)

also also thank you sm for the tip with the penguins <3

i’m also very excited that i might maybe see some seals/sea lions since i’ve also never encountered them.

omg i also read that apparently snakes are banned in nz?? that’s crazy to me (i have seen one (1) snake in my life so who am i to talk) - wait do you guys even have any reptiles? and what’s the amphibian situation?

I hope you’ve had a good start into the new year!! So jealous of the summer haha i’m gonna have three autumns consecutively

[gloriabomfim]

Part 1: Boone's Discovery

[Boone enters a room, and his eyes widen as he spots a dog bone lying on the floor. He approaches it slowly, his curiosity piqued.]

Boone: (whispering to himself) Well, what have we here?

[Boone kneels down and reaches out to pick up the dog bone, examining it with fascination. He turns it around in his hands, inspecting it closely.]

Boone: (excitedly) A dog bone! This is amazing!

[He holds the dog bone up to his face, examining it from different angles.]

Boone: (muttering) I wonder where it came from. It looks like a real one!

[Boone can't contain his excitement as he continues to inspect the dog bone, marveling at his discovery.]

Part 2: Boone's Imaginary Conversation

[Boone continues to hold the dog bone, now standing and talking to it as if it were a real companion.]

Boone: (enthusiastically) So, Mr. Dog Bone, what's life like being a bone?

[He waits for a response, but, of course, the dog bone remains silent.]

Boone: (nodding) Ah, I see. You're a man of few words, or should I say, no words.

[Boone pauses for a moment, pretending to listen to the dog bone's reply.]

Boone: (acting surprised) Oh, you think I'm funny, do you?

[He chuckles and continues his one-sided conversation.]

Boone: (grinning) Well, I've always had a knack for making others laugh.

[Boone suddenly feels a burst of inspiration and starts to mimic a dog's playful behavior. He begins to bark and wag an imaginary tail.]

Boone: (barking) Woof! Woof! I bet you like that, don't you?

[Boone hops around a bit, getting into his doggy role-play.]

Boone: (excitedly) I can fetch, too! Watch this!

[He pretends to fetch an imaginary ball and then returns to the dog bone.]

Boone: (panting) So, Mr. Dog Bone, what's on your mind?

[Boone listens intently for a response, fully convinced that the dog bone is engaging in conversation with him.]

Part 3: A Surprise Visitor

[As Boone continues his one-sided conversation with the dog bone, he's fully engrossed in his imaginative world.]

Boone: (enthusiastically) Oh, you're right, Mr. Dog Bone! Life is full of surprises!

[Suddenly, a new character, Jawg, enters the scene. Jawg is a dog-like Mixel, and he's carrying an actual dog bone in his mouth. Boone's playful barking and tail-wagging come to an abrupt halt as he notices Jawg.]

Boone: (startled and alarmed) Whoa!

[Boone takes a step back, clutching the dog bone to his chest.]

Boone: (nervously) Uh-oh, I think I'm in trouble.

[Jawg, still holding the dog bone, looks at Boone curiously, his one eye narrowing slightly.]

Jawg: (in a playful tone) Woof?

[Boone lets out a short, startled scream, not sure what to make of the situation.]

Boone: (panicked) Aah!

[However, as he watches Jawg closely, he realizes that Jawg is not a threat. Jawg is simply enjoying his dog bone, gnawing on it with delight. Boone's initial fear subsides.]

Boone: (relieved) Phew! You just want to enjoy your bone, right?

[Jawg continues to chew the bone, and in between bites, he manages to speak.]

Jawg: (slowly and one word at a time) Yes. Tasty.

[Boone can't help but smile, now understanding that Jawg means no harm.]

Boone: (grinning) Well, enjoy it, my friend!

[Boone watches Jawg with amusement as he chews on the dog bone. He's relieved that his imaginary world didn't turn into a real disaster.]

Boone: (proudly) I guess I can share the fun with you, too!

[As Jawg continues to enjoy his bone, Boone silently joins in the canine merriment, content with his newfound companion.]

[moonlit-jeno]

friends (m.)

pairing: lee jeno x fem reader

genre: explicit sexual content | omegaverse | heat sex | unprotected sex | some name calling

words: 3.6k

don’t like don’t read :)

“Your heat’s coming up.” Jeno says, point blank in between bites of his apple. You just nod, taking a break from your notes to side eye him. It’s not odd for him to know intimate details of your life- you do make sure to keep him updated on your cycle just so that he can send you the notes for the days you miss - but it’s not exactly a common subject for the two of you. “Who are you spending it with?”

There are still 13 powerpoint slides for you to grind through, but you figure a small break won’t hurt. Might as well use the conversation topic for something good, aka a reason to slam your laptop shut. You turn to Jeno, giving your best friend your full attention, and take the iced coffee right out of his hand. He doesn’t protest. “No idea. Would call Jaemin but he’s ‘found the one’ or something, so I’ll probably just spend it by myself.”

“By yourself?” Jeno’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline as if you’ve just admitted to committing a sin. It’s not like the concept isn’t unheard of, there’s a market full of toys to help you through it. “Isn’t that dangerous?” You shrug and take a sip of the coffee, offering him your smoothie in exchange. He takes a sip and then bites down on your straw. His entire face scrunches and he yanks his face away from the beverage. He pulls the straw up, inspecting the now soggy and dented object with disgust. “Fuck, what is this made out of?”

“Paper.” You huff a laugh out through your nose, taking your smoothie back. “And I mean, it’s not any more dangerous than spending your heat with the wrong person. Plus, my heats get kind of… intense.” If Jaemin sleeping for three days straight and limping after is anything to go by, both parties take the short end of the stick. You’d felt so bad after and apologized to him profusely, but he had just thrown you his signature dazzling grin and told you that drowning in pussy was exactly the way he envisioned himself dying. He definitely didn’t complain about the brownies you’d baked him as a ‘thank you’, though.

“Spend your heat with me.” The bold request has your brain malfunctioning, at a loss for where to even start reacting to his statement. You just stare at him, mouth opening and closing repeatedly while he returns the gaze earnestly. “Look, it makes sense, right? I know you better than anyone, and you already trust me. Plus if they’re as intense as I’ve heard they are, you need someone there.”

You frown, opening your laptop up and staring blankly at the screen just to avoid having to look at Jeno. It does make sense to have him there with you, and it’s not like he’s the worst person to have sex with. Plenty of people around campus have delighted in talking about their nights with Jeno, dreamily telling you how lucky you are to have him and falling deaf to your insistence that the two of you aren’t like that. Plus, you’re not blind and even if you’re not the cute couple everyone thinks you are, you can admit that he’s hot.

“Wait, hang on. What do you mean ‘heard’ about? What shit is Na Jaemin saying?” Jeno’s shoulders shake with his laughter at your sudden concern. “I mean, he didn’t say anything, but that was kind of the problem. He didn’t show up to practice for like a week and when he finally did, he looked like he’d been mauled. Coach had to bench him.”

Your heart drops slightly at hearing that Jaemin’s soccer had been affected. He hadn’t told you that. “Oh.” The guilt must show on your face because Jeno is quickly soothing you, making sure to tell you that they all found Jaemin’s state funny. “Okay, wait. Wouldn’t you have the same problem if you help me?”

“It’s off-season. So, what do you say?” Jeno waits for your response expectantly, eyes soft, curious. “You can say no, y/n. I don’t want to pressure you at all, I’m just letting you know that it’s an option.” “I’ll think about it.” And you do. A concerning amount.

You spend that night tossing and turning, trying and failing to shut your brain off. Worries about ruining your friendship and about hurting Jeno bounce around your brain no matter how much you try to stop thinking about it. What if something bad happens during it? What if you never talk again? And worst of all is your brain telling you that he doesn’t actually want you specifically, he just wants to be with an omega in heat. You’re just convenient. 

That thought actually makes you cry and you wrap your blankets even tighter around yourself, sobbing weakly into your pillows. In an effort to distract your wandering mind you grab for your phone, opening instagram to find an influx of dm’s from Jeno. It calms you a bit, the messages ranging from cute dogs to absolutely cursed memes, and you smile softly at the reminder that he’s your best friend, and that he definitely cares about you. Biting your lip, you hesitate for only a few moments before typing out a “you can help”, hitting send before you can second guess it. You lock your phone and set it face down on the dresser, thankfully finding sleep as soon as your head hits the pillow.

It’s hot when you wake up, clothes clinging to your skin uncomfortably. Peeling your shirt off only gives you relief for a moment but then the sticky heat is back full force. You whimper in misery, trying to snuggle back into your bed for at least some comfort, but you find that the corner of your fitted sheet has come up, the rest of your blankets on the floor. There’s only one pillow near you and it’s soaked in sweat. You panic slightly, frantically yanking your sheets back onto the bed and trying to fluff them up as much as possible, only calming down once the bedding has been fixed to your liking. Only once you’ve settled down in the plushness of your blankets do you have a moment of clarity.

“Oh shit.” You shoot up and search for your phone, dropping it once before finally managing to open the correct app. There’s a few messages from Jeno that you don’t bother looking at, going straight for the ‘call’ button. He picks up on the third ring.

“Hello?” He sounds groggy, like he’s just woken up, and a flash of heat runs through you at the low tone. “Why are you calling me at 5 a.m?”

You manage to stop fantasizing about your best friend long enough to choke out the word “Heat.” It comes out pathetic and whiny and you pause to clear your throat, trying to keep a clear head as well. “I’m sorry, my heat came early and I wanted to call you but you can go back to bed, I didn’t realize-”

“Fuck, okay, I’ll be over in 10.” Jeno cuts off your rambling with a swear, some rustling in the background accompanying his words. 

“Thank you.” You whisper, setting the phone down and curling up in bed, trying not to focus on how agonizingly slow the time is passing.

Jeno’s looking down at his shoes when you open the door, kicking idly at the door mat and fidgeting with the bag in his hands, though his head snaps up when he notices you. The smile on his face falters when he inhales, turns a little strained as he gets a taste of your heat, and you honestly give him props for the amount of restraint he has. It’s definitely more than you have, at least, because you’re on him the second he’s inside. He ends up sandwiched between you and the door, bag dangling precariously in one hand while he envelopes you in his strong arms. You don’t (can’t) do anything besides bury your face in his chest and whimper, knowing exactly what you want but being too needy and fuzzy to remedy it.  

“Jeno, it hurts.” You whimper and lift your face to nose along the skin just above the collar of his shirt, finding that while the skin to skin contact helps, it doesn’t fully relieve the heat scorching through you, the dull ache screaming for Jeno to take you already. “Please…” He holds you closer to his chest, encasing you fully in his scent, and picks you up bridal style. “I’ve got you baby, don’t worry.”

Being around Jeno does help to ease your stress, but it also serves to make you needier. The warm scent that you’ve grown to associate with the man is stronger than you’ve ever smelled it and it’s making you lose your mind more and more by the second. You’re worried that you’re drooling by the time he sets you down on your bed. He pauses to drop the bag he’s holding on the floor, and then he’s on top of you, strong arms caging you in.

The first kiss is soft, chaste. It would be cute if you weren’t so fucking needy, but you are and it’s just not enough. Unsatisfied, you thread your fingers through his hair and tug, nipping at his bottom lip and tilting your head to the side to get a deeper angle. A groan rumbles in his chest and he returns the kiss with more intensity, trying to take control again. You don’t let him, even if every instinct in your body is screaming at you to just submit.

Jeno shifts on top of you, scooting so that he can fully lay down between your legs. You wrap your limbs around him on instinct, pulling him as close as you possibly can and- oh. The close proximity means that you feel everything when he grinds down, and the feeling of having him so close to where you need him has any semblance of control that you had draining out of your body. You gasp pitifully, annoyance clawing at you from the amount of fabric blocking you from what you want.

“Please,” You almost sob, tugging at his shirt while trying to grind your lower half against his, the pressure of his cock against your center making your eyes roll. Jeno pulls back to yank his shirt off and then he’s back, hands sliding down your body to your panties, tugging the fabric down as far as he can before he growls in frustration and just rips the fabric in half. 

“Shit, you’re so wet.” Jeno moans in awe, breaking the kiss yet again to marvel at your pussy. “Bet I could just slip right in.” He drags his fingers through the slick on your upper thighs, eyes glued between your legs. You’re just about to complain when he finally presses his fingers into you. The initial relief has you moaning sweetly, though it quickly turns to impatient pleas for his cock. You clench around his fingers, reaching a hand down to palm over where he strains against his sweats.

“I need you to fuck me.” You beg, looking at him with what you hope is a convincing expression. “Please Jen, I need you.” “You have me.” He promises you, flicking his wrist faster, curling his fingers just right. “I’m right here baby.” It’s sweet, and under normal circumstances it would be enough, but right now it’s not what you need and the frustration has you on the brink of tears.

You buck your hips and try to arch up as if it’ll magically make him slip in, but Jeno remains as patient and controlled as ever. It’s too hot and every part of your body is screaming for him to fuck you, for him to claim you, and his refusal is killing you. “Alpha please, I need you.”

He absolutely snarls, pinning down your wriggling body with one hand around your throat. The other hand stays between your legs where it continues to strike pleasure into every single nerve ending you have, adding to the fire already coursing through your veins. “What you need is to take what your Alpha’s giving you. You’re not in charge here, okay?” With his face pressed so close to yours you have no choice but to make direct eye contact, staring straight into the most intense gaze you’ve ever seen. His pupils are blown out so wide that his eyes are almost black. Unable to tear your eyes away and as if in a trance, you find yourself nodding. The corner of his mouth quirks up. “Good girl. Now listen to your Alpha and cum.”

It happens almost instantaneously, as if his words were directly connected to a trigger, your body exploding just as soon as the words leave his mouth. Your entire body locks up, mind going blank as the immense pleasure takes hold of you, leaving you clawing at his back and screaming silently into the air. 

The orgasm only serves to thicken the haze in your mind, clouding any thoughts that aren’t related to the Alpha above you and his cock. It takes a moment for your eyes to finally come back into focus enough to make out your surroundings, and you’re greeted by the sight of Jeno with his fingers in his mouth, sucking your essence off of his digits. You’re burning so hot, so much hotter than you think you’ve been before, and it’s hard for you to function. All you can think about is his cock.

“Please,” You beg, swatting at him weakly. “Alpha please, I need you so bad.”

There’s no way that Jeno isn’t being affected by the pheromones clouding the air, but he manages to appear unbothered, his actions rough but nowhere near as desperate as yours. He just laughs lightly at your begging. “Aww, baby needs me?” The rhetorical question is punctuated by a slap, his hand coming down on your pussy hard enough to draw a yelp from you, thighs closing on his hand in a conflicting attempt to relieve the pressure from the hit and keep his hand on your cunt. He laughs meanly and pulls his hand away, drawing back slightly to spit onto your already soaking pussy, rubbing the spit into your skin while he talks. “This pussy belongs to me, yeah? You’re mine now.” Jeno leans down, mouth at your neck so that he can bite at the skin. “That means that I can do whatever I want with you.” You can’t speak, can’t even begin to think about what you should say in this situation. He presses a kiss to your jaw before pulling back and uses his free hand to turn your head so that you make eye contact with him. “Tell Alpha what you need.” “Need Alpha in me.” You beg, plead, flipping yourself over onto your hands and knees and arching your back, presenting yourself to him. “Need your knot, need you to fill me up, breed me, Alpha please-” Your sentence is cut off by his cock slamming into you, the filthy sound being drowned out by his groan. You gasp in relief, breathy thank you’s leaving you with each powerful thrust he delivers. His cock stretches you out so well, makes you go dizzy with the relief of finally having him in you. Your elbows give out nearly instantly, your chest hitting the mattress, and Jeno takes instant advantage of the new position to pull your hips even higher into the air.

It’s so good- almost too good- and it leaves you drooling and clawing at the sheets. All you can focus on is how well he’s fucking you, how he’s going to fill you up so well, breed you like he was meant to. 

You scream when he pulls out, alarm bells going off as your body instantly protests. It only lasts a second though, Jeno’s hands never leaving your body as he flips you onto your back. 

“Couldn’t see you,” Jeno pants out, dropping a kiss to the corner of your mouth and pushing back in, returning back to the brutal rhythm he had before. It has your eyes rolling in your head at how fucking good he feels. “My pretty baby, taking everything I give her.” 

He’s got you so fucked out that you don’t even realize your tongue is hanging out of your mouth until he pinches it between his thumb and index finger, pulling it out even more. “You love my cock, hmm? You love everything I give you.” The pad of his thumb rubs over your tongue, the sensation making your toes curl and tears slide down your cheeks. “Such a fucking needy omega, isn’t that right?” He tugs on your tongue, your head following his actions as he leads you into nodding.

Jeno laughs and lets go of your tongue, dropping his face down to kiss at your neck. He sucks mark after mark into your skin, licking over each one to soothe it after, until he finally gets to your most sensitive, vulnerable spot. Even just the feeling of him close to your mating mark has your entire body aching for it, your neck craning to the side and pushing into his touch. The leverage you get from your legs wrapped around his waist has him pushing even deeper into you and you can feel his knot at your entrance, not quite fully swollen but definitely getting there. It has you absolutely keening, the thought of being so totally owned making you desperate.The sweet drag of his cock along your walls paired with the absolute filth he’s spewing has your body locking up with no warning, your orgasm ripping through you. You arch off the bed, the action only pushing you further onto his cock.

“God y/n, fuck!” Jeno curses, slamming his hips into you with even more force, his knot popping into your entrance and forcing the neediest sound you’ve ever made to leave your lips. You desperately wrap your limbs around him, trying to get him even closer, digging your heels into his ass to push him further inside. He grinds his hips against you one, two, three more times before he shudders, teeth clamping down right on your sweet spot as he comes. Jeno seems to come forever, filling you up with delicious warmth, making your body purr in satisfaction. He finally comes down, having the clarity of mind to tip the two of you onto your sides so that he doesn’t crush you when he collapses. He still tugs you close, arm thrown around your body possessively, his chin resting atop of your head.

“Told you it was intense.” You laugh out, trying to break the silence in the room. The heat’s subsided for now, but you’re still barely in your mind, and you have no idea how long the break will last. 

He huffs out a laugh, chest shaking against you. “I understand Jaemin now.” His hand pets over your back, sliding up to the back of your neck and scratching lightly at the skin there. “You alright?” “Mhmm, yeah. Perfect.” His fingertips press lightly against the mating mark, sending sparks shooting down your spine, and it has your head spinning. You try to adjust yourself against him in an effort to keep your cool, but moving has his cock shifting inside of you and you sleepily grind against him, not thinking. Jeno hisses and tightens his grip on you to keep you still, but the way he grabs your leg has him shifting inside of you and pressing against all the right places. Heat floods through you and your grinding turns more urgent. 

“Ohgod,” You moan, finding enough strength to push Jeno flat on his back. Your body has a mind of its own and you find yourself bouncing desperately on his cock. His knot has you locked into place and you’re barely able to move, but you can still swirl and grind your hips against him, feel the delicious friction of his knot against your entrance. “Alpha, it feels so good.”

“Fuck, look at you. So fucking knotdrunk, hmm? Can’t get enough.” Jeno shakes his head, laughs in a way that’s meant to mock you but it comes out strained. His hands are heavy on your ass, squeezing and slapping to feel the way it jiggles, to feel the way you clench around him with every hit. You throw your head back and let him do as he pleases, losing yourself entirely in how full you feel, in how good his knot feels in you. He buries his face into your chest, moving one hand from your ass to play with your tits, his mouth wasting no time in marking the delicate skin up. 

“Shit baby, gonna make me cum again.” His lips seal over your mating mark again in a sloppy kiss and that’s exactly the final push that you need, your eyes rolling back and your tongue lolling out as your cunt spasms around him, orgasm ripping through you almost painfully. Jeno groans as well, hand flying to your back to pull you as close as possible, and his knot pulses inside of you as you swear you feel more cum shoot out.

He shudders against you, tight grip finally relaxing, though he still keeps you anchored to his chest. You follow suit, collapsing against him. A tired moan leaves you and you let yourself relax, lips absentmindedly mouthing at his skin. His hand pets your back soothingly, touch heavy and sluggish, and the last thing you feel before you fall asleep is his lips on your forehead.