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she-aint-no-slow-regard · 5 months

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Not my emotional support himbo :(

#critical role #cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #campaign 3 #honestly that's two very hard fight that seem unwinnable in a row #I just want it to end #also I'm not the biggest fan of combat in general #but this one was mainly about not if opam was gonna make it #but just who in the crown Keepers was going to die #I would have prefered if they just talked and fucked around for a bit #and then had a little encounter with opal or like some checks #because it feels like we haven't spent that much time with them #but it's been like 4 hours total #idk #I like aabria but I would have preferred something more fun or hopeful right now #and I'm just bummed #can't wait for bh to come back so Ashton can be mad and maybe break some stuff #anyway rip sweet dumb boy

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incorrect-league-of-villains · 6 months

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Tomura: Fuck off, old man.

All for One: I'm not that old. How old do you think I am?

Tomura: The last number.

#incorrect lov #in light of what the Fuck is going on in the bnha manga right now????#i had a grand total of like 4 afo quotes in my respository and this was the last one left #but seriously what the fuck is happening #i tuned out for like 2 years and i come back to deku [SPOILERS] and shiggy [SPOILERS] and afo [SPOILERS]#like WHAT #guys i dont actually know if dabi is alive is he alive #is hawks alive???#hell is bakugou alive????? last i heard bro got Wasted #im only here because ive been procrastinating on coursework for the past 48 hours and im trying to keep the streak going #it's 6 am ive been up since i awoke from my nap at midnight #only thing of actual substance i know is that hawks and dabi got 4th and 5th place in the most recent popularity poll #good for them soulmates #dabihawks #shigaraki tomura #shimura tenko #all for one

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inkskinned · 2 years

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will it ever be enough? when someone loves you, you feel something curl inside of you, sour and whiplike, angry at being unheard. they don't really love you, they love this facsimile you have ensconced in your rabbit body. they will chop up the bits of you looking for luck and never find the good soul you promise - their love slides off. you're viscera; you have spent a lifetime promising the blood is art.

oh but when someone hates you - well, they're right to. and you'd trip over your little grassknot legs for them. begging them to reconsider. you feel it all knifeedge, spinepoint straight through you. they're the ones who see the real you, after all; and if they can love you, you might finally feel worth something.

but if they do love you in the end, after all of that, after your heart like a fawn opens to gutter under them - you've fooled them, and it isn't worth anything anymore. they've just gone and fallen for it. the love slides right off.

once, you heard a line in a musical about being abandoned. you laughed at the time, unnerved. your voice a keen; too shaky to be candid.

will it ever be enough. will the love ever diffuse through your skin and sink into your marrow. are you even capable of feeling that - of feeling cared for - or are you still waiting, even right now, for the hunter to draw the bow and arrow. if you trust that love, even once, and are wrong, you know exactly what will happen.

and somehow you know - you'll never be able to fix that, once it's been broken.

#spilled ink #warm up #...............#...#okay to be honest #i had half a gummy and couldn't sleep #and i was like. how is it possible #i've never tried writing under the influence #psa: im 29 and in MA it's legal #i mostly take them to sleep so i haven't had the brainwave of like.#''....... other artists probably get high ...."#im too busy being like .#okay so if i take meticulous notes on the effects of each carefully measured portion i take per diem #i might be able to find the optimal amount for sleeping #if i'm held at a 45 degree angle and ive worked out for more than 30 minutes and ive walked a lot #and all of my work is done and my floor is clean and ive had a shower AND i have been able to find the right rain playlist #THEN i can sleep for a total of 7 hours #(i usually get 4. i know. trust me when i say I KNOW)

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ithinkdogshouldvote2 · 1 year

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Tfw your buddy and his soon to be husband ditch their own wedding for two hours and come back with a baby

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nullapophenia · 6 months

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Manic Jeer

〔Because it's Just!!! So!!!!!! Easy!!!!!!!!!!!!!〕

#isat #in stars and time #isat isabeau #of stitches in sequence #hi that post made me very normal and so ive been in the tranches for like 3/4 hours #my job is complete. i can finally rest [evaporates into thin air]#anyways. hiiiii :)#ns.tiff #i totally didnt forget my art tag

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syntheticspades · 1 year

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tried krita for the first time

#dork doodles #chonny jash #cj heart #chonnys charming chaos compendium #cccc heart #cj fanart #sorry for so long without art #in total not counting sleep im home for like. 4 hours a day and most of thst is getting ready for other stuff #ive also been extremely unmotivated to draw anything

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laging-interest · 10 months

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#my art #super 4 #super 4 playmobil #super 4 alex #super 4 gene #man it’s been forever sense I posted my own shit #also this is pretty lazy I made this in like les than an hour in total #I’ve got a sore throat and a shit ton of homework 2 do tonight #I’m contemplating not going to school tomorrow #I’m gonna | insert all of the above |

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moonchild-in-blue · 5 months

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Just got here. Tf is happening?

#strawbebies??#halo my love are you okay??#everyone clap i spent the last 4 hours totally offline 👍 <- was playing sims #(game is going well in case you're wondering)#(yes i am still building jorgen and mona's house. it took me a while to get everything exactly right)#(we are decorating now FINALLY)#it's been 4 days yes i know. listen. i take this seriously #no they are not my active family. they are simply my Sims's besties #yes im aware i will spend very little time inside their house. so what. i want my friends to have pretty and luxurious homes #the helvigs are living GOOD. got them a little inside pool and all #because why not #it pains me to make it all celebrity white minimalism but i gotta stay true to them.#the Scandinavian architecture does make it a lot better. nice warm wood accents and floors to make it less sterile #still. i gave them the most obnoxious wood centre table for the main living room and put exactly one (1) single flower there #i don't mind minimalism but this is too much uhg. i hate how vogue catalog this is turning out #ngl i am very seriously considering getting a minor only degree in interior design. like. I'm halfway there already #ANYWAYS. how is everyone? all we are alive still? facing the horrors? being brave?

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packedice · 4 months

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i cant stop crying for the past hour today is such a shitty day for romeo and esme you guys

#not relatoinship wise i mean like we;re just in a bad situation #his powers been knocked out all day from an insane storm this morning and ive been totally unable to get in touch with him for like 4 hours #im so lonely and overwhelmed and hes probably the verysame and we both have bpd and we're each otheres fps and aaaaahhhhh this is the worst #spiderwebs #i literally cant cope like ive hsahtag healed enough to take care of myself in a lot of situations but ijust cantttt im out of stamina #im soo upset and feel so alone and sooo worried about him #every other social media literally no one cares or sees anything i say sorry if venting on tumblr is pathetic

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satoumafuyuss · 7 months

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Angel <3.

#Hazbin Hotel #Angel Dust #hazbin art #hazbin angel dust #nillyart #nillyfanart #uooooough totally didnt watch masquerade like 3 whole times today haha #nooo poison hasnt been playing on repeat in my headphones for 3 days straight whaaaat #i only got 4 hours of sleep. anyway i love him angle forever #anyway you want me baby thats the way you got me ill be yoooooooooooours

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rotisseries · 5 months

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anyone else have that mutual where if the conversation lags for a single minute they're suddenly gone, uncontactable, disappeared off the face of the earth-

#ELLI.....😭😭😭#I was talking to them I put my phone down to wash literally a single dish I pick it back up I respond. and now it's been half an hour #there are 4 total minutes between their last message and my response to it #like where do you even go😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and I start pacing around like a caged animal if i go longer than 45 seconds without attention so you know I handle this well

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menlove · 5 months

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when u wake up from those dreams so deep & long where ur someone else that u wake up confused and disorientated hi hello welcome back to earth I guess

#I shan't even begin to unpack the subject matter I'm shaken HSGSHAHSH #like I'm often not Me in dreams but I'm rarely someone else if that makes sense like #it's only a handful of times where I'm not either me or The Nameless Entity that's also inexplicably me #but there's been like 3 or 4 times where I'll wake up from dreams where I'm just. someone else completely totally fully #hate those! don't wanna go back to sleep and get dragged into another two weeks of alternate universe living 😭#but I've only been asleep for 4 hours 🧍‍♂️ I need more sleep

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loumauve · 9 days

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I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.

(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)

#been feeling anxious af ever since bc it's the first time I've been this firm in a reply and idk how they'll take it #there's underlying issues in inter-departmental communication that need fixing that cause these issues to happen again and again #but my boss is on parental leave and his substitute is sick not that she cares or is up for doing her job where communication is concerned #so there's no real sense in addressing that rn esp by me who's only been there since June. but it does frustrate me a lot #anyway. I'm sure I'll get over this too. but yeah.. ppl not thinking things through for the two mins it takes to create an account #or the twenty seconds it takes to check if one already exists before creating a new one #or the minute it takes to check if folks still have an active contract past their time working in your department before deleting an accoun #just jfc. put in a smidge of effort and five mins total and save the rest of us from spending half a day to fix your mistake #oh well. if I get a pissy response I'll just blame it on being new as an intern and being too motivated and idealistic I guess #god forbid I expect people to do their jobs thoroughly or with at least a singular thought..#anyway. I feel like I'm allowed to be grumpy abt this since we are the folks who end up having to fix this shit #and by we I mean pretty much mostly me at this point bc one colleague is sick atm. my boss barely has time for this and is on leave #and my other colleague only works half time so I'm the one who's been handling most of these over the past month or so #which.. is still insane considering how I'm a goddamn intern who shouldn't even have admin rights tbh #but without them I couldn't do anything at all lol so here I am. nice that they trust and believe in me I suppose #that's why I try to do my best. (who am I kidding that's always the case anyway)#but yeah. definitely a 50% staff support job and only 50% of the other important things that need doing rn it's more like 90/10 #and it's funny how I still dread my two hours of hotline. but every time the line is too busy I still jump in #we are also only 6 people atm out of 10 and three of us are still in training. and one of the trained folks had to come back in mid time of #next week we'll likely be 4 #depending on if our substitute boss lady is back.. not that I'd look forward to it. she's a mess and she's been horrible to deal with latel #sure. she's stressed. but she's either snapping at me when I ask abt shit I can't know yet or she's ignoring me. great basis for team work.#so honestly I'd rather she not return on Monday. esp not if she's gonna spread her germs everywhere #but now sleep. sorry for the rant. it's certainly been quite the month since I returned from my own wisdom tooth rated sick leave..#gotta be up again in 6.5 hrs so I can be at work at 6 to let the electrician in. I'm gonna sleep so hard over the weekend I stg #a day in the life of..

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seafoam-taide · 1 month

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Weird having an actual favorite band and knowing it. I don't really have many favorites it is hard to understand my feelings and even harder to pinpoint a 'better and more' feeling about one specific thing. But I know all of their songs, I listen to them all in a big playlist and never get bored, I am always happy to hear any song by them, I have every song's lyrics memorized, like ... they are my unequivocal favorite. There is nothing like it. Yes, I can get really into other songs, there are probably singular songs I can say I like more than any one song by this band. But I guess having a favorite is like what people say about getting married. I'm not explaining myself on that one actually I do have a point there that's an actual metaphor but I've decided explaining it is a bad use of my time. It's one of those artists that are popular enough and artsy enough that they can crop up as fic titles occasionally and no matter the lyric or song it comes from I can always tell immediately. I don't remember what the point of this post was I'm deep in my panic phase and it's 4 am and I was just sitting there singing I Have Made Mistakes to myself bc I can just do that, the whole song, and because it is very funny to go I have made mistakes I have made mistakes and I will continue to make them while in the middle of freaking the fuck out about existing or something. Bc you know yeah im one spoon away from setting the ends of my hair in fire because if I'm kindling for a little while at least I'll feel of use ????????? Yeah this post for sure had a point and it's devolved.

#tide of consciousness #Sorry that's a lot of text wow #Can we talk about the existential panic. I've been dying to talk about the existential panic #<- doesn't talk about it #Does anyone else get this. The feeling that is like the world is ending and its drowning and burning and it burns and nothing will ever beo #My best guess is I just have anxiety but it is very hard to believe that bc it feels so all consuming and terrifying and so so so much so m #The worst part is I'm not actually even feeling it I'm just sitting here using words that I know describe it bc it's like it just #Is happening. Behind a wall. And I'm here feeling the heat on the doorknob #Translating between the space where the feeling exists and the space where I reside #At some point I just go oh. I've been experiencing the world-ending terror for hours now #Like reading a letter!!!!!!!!! I just get a letter from my brain that goes 'emotions report. It all burned down years ago'#It's like and I know if I was in it I'd be crying and shaking and despairing so deeply and throwing myself around the room #And I feel like this EVERY OTHER DAY. Which is obviously why I apparently partitioned myself away from the feeling #Because you literally just you can't function with that #But surprise it's still there actually and I'm still having 2 breakdowns minimum a week #But now it looks like I'm normal and functioning to everyone else #So I seem like a horrible lazy fucking asshole who doesn't do anything but sit around accomplishing maybe 3? 4? Total minor tasks per day #Because I can't HANDLE ANYTHING ELSE !!!#HOW THE FUCK DO YOU FIX THIS #This is for sure something I shouldn't post but you know that's a rational thought for rational people

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plantenjoyer · 2 months

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I SWEAR I KEEP TRYING TO DO ART BUT THEN SOMETHING GETS IN THE WAY AND THEN I PROCRASTINATE AND THEN SIX MONTHS PASS

#this has been happening for like TWO YEARS BUT I SWEAR TO GOD I AM TRYING.#my usual art motivation (my webcomic idea) has been put on hold for a bit and because of that i forgort... everything #my will to draw specifically #but in my defense i have been writing k*arlach / oc indulgences and i've been VERY focused on finishing it #i also got a marketing manager (my friend <3) to help with advertising my comms and stuff so uh... look forward 2 that #i might need to start posting all of my art on a sideblog so she doesn't have to log into my main though #so there might be some changes #but i promise i want to do art!!!! but there's always something to do first and then months pass :(#or i get the urge to draw and then life is like ''have a cancer scare'' lmao...#(ended up being cancerous actually </3 but because it's skin stuff it was easy to remove)#(but that really took the piss out of me for most of july... not to mention that ffxiv released a new expansion and i have been...#having a good time with my new friends doing content and stuff!) i also made a friend irl after like 3-4 years of total isolation #we feed ants and watch them move around together and comment on their behaviour patterns...#but like when i say this takes literal hours.#we just sit out there and talk about random shit and watch ants walk across the floor. both of us hate ants btw.#like we don't like having them ON us so it's a bit like playing with fire.#but anyways yeah i've also been really low energy recently too bc of the heat and burnout from college...#but the good news is that i'm transferring in fall to a much more relaxing college & courseload!#i'm hoping it'll stop me from feeling so... awful ?? i guess ??#like i was taking classes i didn't need to that were really difficult & punishing #not to mention extremely boring & hard to pay attention to when dealing with literally anything. i did not want to be there.#my next college is much more interest-oriented so i will finally be able to take classes i want to and learn from them...!#and then maybe i will feel a bit more in control of my life / more encouraged to draw #anyways thank u for reading my ramble. hoping it all comes together soon.#i need to do a lot of work but most of it is so i can sell commissions again #but once the karlach fic is done we're so back on the webcomic train !!!!!!!!

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jikigo · 4 months

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you ever just see a post and just

. 😭

.⬅️🫀⬅️

#Worst emoji combo ever but it’s gon be such big depression hours down here so scroll if you want im on the brink of throwing up #don’t you just bloody love it how over the past 3 years you’ve only seen people the large total of…. 4 times!!! An average of seeing someon #outside of school 1.3 times per year!! What a bloody fantastic way to spend your teenage years!#Don’t you also just love it when people talk right to you about how they all went out together over the weekend and like did some stupid #shit like your average high schooler would do and you’re just like “oh. I went to my 1 and a half hour long dance class and got ignored the #entire time and when you did try to talk they just spoke over you” oh my fucking god I hate that place so much even the teacher fucking #ignores me once we were going in a circle and she was asking everyone what they got for Christmas and I was in the middle of the circle so #thought hey maybe someone will actually acknowledge my existence but she fucking ignored me and went to next person like why the fuck #And now I’m debating staying in that shithole bc I was invited to a gc for that class and I stupidly thought that someone might want me #There. I wasn’t even invited I secretly scanned the qr code to join over someone else’s shoulder #everyone else there is the best of bloody friends and I’m just there talking to one friend who I don’t even think is my friend #“Hey man I’m really fucking sad rn can I talk to you” “womp womp have you heard stupid fact no.3848594 about my ocs while I ignore you when #you talk about anything else about me” oh my god shut up literally no one else sane would see someone like that their closest friend rn #At least someone wants to talk to me #Like what is it that makes people not want to see my please just tell me I’ll change I’m amazing at changing my personality to fit others #promise me on that I’ve done it my entire life #Even just messaging me more than once every year and I’d consider you my best friend this is how bad I’m getting #What is so bloody bad about me that no one else likes I don’t care how badly you fucking word it just something #It shouldn’t be normal to wish death on people you call your mates bc you heard about them all going out together without you #Oh dear did the gc’s without me in it there’s one for every friend group I’ve ever been in why isn’t there one for the main group I’m in rn #Idfc anymore just tell me what I’m doing wrong I keep asking people if they want to go out or how far away they live from some place #And it’s always met with ignoring me talking over me or immediately changing the subject #Please if you’re someone I know irl what the fuck am I doing fucking wrong I can’t fucking do this anymore be as mean as you like #Why the fuck does no one ever want to be around me why do I hear so much about stuff others are doing together but never me #It shouldn’t be normal to prefer being in a toxic relationship than what I’m in rn #I fucking hate everything

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