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roman-writing · 3 years

Text

no great revelation (6/8)

Fandom(s): The Haunting of Bly Manor / Star Wars

Pairing: Dani Clayton/Jamie Taylor

Rating: M

Wordcount: 6,797

Summary: Jamie just wants to enjoy a drink after a hard day’s work on the Telosian Restoration Project. The last thing she needs is to get herself caught up in a mysterious woman with a lightsabre at the local bar.

Aurthor’s notes: Please note the rating change

read it below or read it here on AO3

VI.

—

It was somewhat gratifying to know that Jamie wasn’t the only one who was absolute shit at meditation.

“This is pointless,” said Dani with her eyes closed.

“You’re telling me,” Jamie muttered, her eyes also shut.

They were both seated on the massive bed, cross-legged and facing one another. Jamie had ordered the ship’s computer to dim the lights, so that the room was dusky, the ship’s computer even going so far as to project pinpricks of light onto the high ceiling like a map of stars. Back when Jamie had been a padawan, the Jedi Masters used to do something similar back on Tython to encourage that e’er-elusive quest for inner peace. Jamie used to take the opportunity to take a quick nap while she pretended to meditate, but she couldn’t do that now because she was trying to set a good example or whatever.

“Have you tried slowing down your breathing?” Jamie asked, keeping her eyes closed and straightening her shoulders a bit.

“This is just how I breathe.”

“Yeah, but have you tried slowing it down?”

“When I do that it just feels like I’m slowly drowning.”

“Okay, then what about relaxing your body one part at a time?”

“One -? What?”

“You know. Think about relaxing just the muscles of your face, and then move on to your shoulders, and so on.”

Dani huffed, and Jamie heard her shifting her weight on the bed before going still. All was silent but for the pattern of their breathing and Jamie’s heartbeat accompanying it like a percussion instrument. Sitting still. Being still. Thinking and doing nothing. In short, the most difficult activity for Jamie to attempt ever in her life. She would rather be back on Peter Quint’s flagship, dodging blaster fire.

Okay, maybe not that far. But honestly sitting still for long periods of time really was her own personal hell.

The air whispered with a hint of cold, like standing in a room with a window open, the tendril of an icy draught threading its way inside. Jamie shrugged against it, but kept her eyes closed. It was only when the whisper of cold lifted to a prickle, when the sound of Dani’s breathing grew too shallow, that Jamie’s eyes flew open.

Dani was still seated on the bed, eyes squeezed shut, brows furrowed, every exhalation through her nose a plume of white steam, shivering as if she were on the surface of an ice planet instead of in the warm safety of the luxury cruiser.

Immediately Jamie grabbed her hand and squeezed. “Woah. Woah woah woah. Not that way.”

Dani jerked as though she had just been shaken away from a deep sleep. Her eyes were on the edge of wild as she looked around the room, her breathing heavy and sharp and slowing when she remembered where exactly she was.

“Oh,” she said with a guilty glance towards Jamie. “Did I - Did I do it again?”

With a stroke of her thumb across the back of Dani’s cold hand, Jamie nodded. “Yeah.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean -”

“I know,” Jamie murmured. “I know. Don’t worry. This time tomorrow, we’ll be on Tython, and we can get you a much better teacher than me.”

Dani swallowed and nodded, but her expression was unsure, reluctant even.

“You’ll like Hannah and Owen,” Jamie insisted. “If anyone can teach you, they can.”

“It’s not that. It’s just -” Dani turned her face away and exhaled. She chewed at her lower lip. “What if I’m caught? What if The Order doesn’t care that I was - that I’m not -”

Frowning, Jamie asked, “Not what?”

“Good,” said Dani.

“What like -?” Jamie grinned. “Not good at the Force? ‘Cause they’d throw me out on my ass with nary a care if that were the case.”

“No, that’s not what I -” Dani’s teeth were clenched, the muscles bunched up between the line of her neck and her jawline. “I killed people. I killed a Jedi. There’s already an investigation into his murder. And I can’t even channel the Force on my own without slipping into the Dark.”

Jamie shook her head while she listened. “You weren’t yourself. And once we find a cure for whatever is going on with you, then you can be trained properly.”

“What if we can’t?” Dani whispered. “What if there’s nothing to be done? What if I’ll always have this - this angry, empty, lonely thing haunting me?”

Jamie rocked Dani’s hand beneath her own gently. “We’ll find a way. We just need to take it one day at a time.”

Every muscle in Dani’s body seemed to be held taut. The tightness of her jaw. The flex of her hands. The bunching of her shoulders and the muscles all along her spine. Her hand was still cold under Jamie’s grasp, though the wintry edge had been blunted from the air around her. Jamie offered her an encouraging smile, but did not receive one in return.

“We should get some sleep,” Jamie sighed, pulling away. “We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow -”

But Dani was scrambling to her knees and she was gripping Jamie’s hand tightly in her own before Jamie could fully let go. Her fingers trembled and her eyes were overbright, fixed and unblinking upon Jamie’s, holding her fast. “Not yet,” she said quickly. “Not - I want to feel it again. Please. I want to feel good. I want - I want to feel you.”

Jamie could already feel the thrum beneath her skin, the Force like a tether between them, on the brink, but there. As if Dani were reaching out then waiting for permission to drag her in.

For the last four years, Jamie had been telling herself to keep her head down. Don't get involved. Mind her own bloody business. Don't do what she did back in ExplorCorps and paint a great big fuckoff target on her own back. And for four years, she had done exactly that. Telos IV and the AgriCorps were a fresh start, a good life, a simple, boring life. All it had taken to completely upend that life was a week of Dani Clayton.

Jamie nodded. Because it made relief sweep over Dani's face. Because it made Dani smile at her with that big smile that crinkled her eyes and creased her cheeks. Because it meant that connection snapped taut like a wire, drew them together into something more than the sum of their parts, more than this crude matter. Because it did indeed feel good.

Each brief contact of the Force between them had remained discrete in the past. Stolen moments in which Jamie tried to coax Dani towards the Light on her own. Now, Dani gripped her hand to keep the connection alive, a current like static, like the movement between the inchoate and the flourishing, and it extended to the horizon. Dani's eyes dropped to her mouth and Jamie should've known this was coming, shouldn't have been as surprised as she was when Dani leaned forward to kiss her.

Bad idea, Jamie’s pesky little inner voice kept saying over and over like a mantra. Bad idea. This is a bad idea. A very very bad -

She should have pulled away, called this off, cut the line. Except Dani was warm and solid and groaning low into Jamie’s mouth, a sound that coiled heat in the pit of Jamie’s stomach. She cupped Dani’s cheek with one hand, allowed herself to welter for a lingering moment in the softness of Dani's mouth, in the texture of her jaw, before she pulled them apart just enough to breathe, their foreheads still pressed together.

"I want -" Dani murmured urgently, so close Jamie could taste the words on her lips. Her free hand had grasped Jamie's collar, rumpling the starched white fabric in her fist. "Can I -?"

"Yeah," Jamie breathed, throwing any vestigial scrap of self-preservation out the airlock.

Dani kissed her again with a grateful sigh. Jamie couldn’t remember ever being kissed quite like this. With singular focus. As if there was nothing else in the world for Dani to do but kiss her and pour everything of herself into it.

"Kept thinking about this," Dani mumbled against her lips.

"Explains why you're so shit at meditation."

Dani huffed out a laugh and pressed her smile to Jamie's. She pulled at Jamie's collar shifting forward on her knees so she could lean over Jamie and turn the kiss from giddy glee to hungry in an instant. Jamie took off Dani's headband and threw it onto the bedside table beside the lightsabre so she could rake her hands through Dani's hair. With a tilt of her head, Dani opened her mouth and Jamie would've been appalled at her own weak whimper if she'd been in any state to care. She couldn’t. Not when Dani was kissing her like this. Not when Dani was pushing Jamie onto the bed and straddling her hips. Not when Dani was tugging the buttons of Jamie’s shirt free with trembling fingers.

They didn’t break contact even when Dani paused to gasp at Jamie’s thigh pressing up between her legs. Always some section of skin was touching, so that the link remained, buzzing around in the back of Jamie’s head like an amplifier. Every movement, every sound an echo caught on a feedback loop, building to something impossible to miss. Jamie could feel the way Dani’s blood stirred in her veins, the way Dani was grinding down against her thigh, the way Dani was tugging the shirt down her shoulders and casting it aside, as though the sensations were her own, but muted — a phantom feeling.

When she had imagined this — and over the last few days on the luxury cruiser, Jamie had in great detail imagined this — it had always been a slow, coltish thing. All start and stop, lazy hesitance and careful exploration. In her mind, Dani was keen but skittish, wanting but indecisive. Something to do perhaps with the long glances sent in Jamie’s direction, or the distrustful ventures into the Force. When it came to this however, Dani was uncertain about nothing.

Dani made excited little sounds against Jamie’s exposed neck when Jamie began to fumble with the button that fastened her pants. Jamie tugged at the zipper and Dani lifted herself up just enough so that Jamie could slip her hand down. Tugging lightly at Dani’s hair to get her to tilt her head back, Jamie sought out Dani’s pulsepoint with her mouth just as her fingers sought out slick heat.

There were too many clothes between them, far too many, but neither of them could bring themselves to pause for long enough to fix that. The pants shoved partway down Dani’s thighs gave Jamie little room to manoeuvre, but she had two fingers inside of Dani, and Dani was sitting upright to rock her hips at a better angle, eyes lidded, lips parted on a stuttered sigh.

“That’s -” Dani’s breath hitched. “Yes - Right there - Please -”

Jamie had to bite back a groan of her own when Dani bucked against her hand and made a high desperate sound, clenched and shivering, and the moment going on as it echoed back and forth, mirrored and caught between them. Feeling this good, this alive, this conjoined, then chasing after it with a fervor as Dani leaned down at the same time Jamie pushed herself up to kiss her hard.

“Keep going,” Dani panted against Jamie’s mouth, then gave a feeble cry when Jamie did exactly that — curled her fingers and ground her palm up until Dani was shuddering again, until she was spent.

Dani’s forehead dropped to Jamie’s shoulder to catch her breath. Jamie placed her free hand against Dani’s back, holding her close. She twitched the fingers still inside Dani, just an experimental press, and received a sharp inhalation.

“Too much?” Jamie asked softly.

“A little. Do it again.”

There was no building up to anything with it, just an extension of what had come before, flickers of pleasure that sparked at the edges of her vision, until Dani reached down to slide Jamie’s fingers out and lift them to her mouth.

“Fuck,” Jamie hissed as Dani licked her sticky fingers clean then nipped at her fingertips.

Dani glanced down Jamie’s chest, one hand drifting inquisitively over the high-waisted hem of her black slacks. “Is it all right, if I -?”

Jamie was already nodding before Dani could finish the sentence. “Yeah. Yeah. Whatever you want.”

When Dani pulled away to quickly shed her own clothes, Jamie felt the loss of that link like a light suddenly going out. She blinked and skimmed her fingertips along the curve of Dani’s elbow just to re-establish that contact until Dani had finished, until Dani was tugging the slacks down Jamie’s legs, smoothing her hands up Jamie’s bare thighs and watching her with hunger in her eyes.

Jamie settled back on her elbows, biting her lip, gaze fixed upon Dani as she lowered her head and parted Jamie with her tongue. She wanted to watch — eyes glued to the way Dani’s mouth moved against her, the way Dani urged her knees wider — but Jamie could not help how her eyes rolled back and she sank back onto the mattress with an embarrassingly loud sound despite how she tried to trap it behind her teeth.

She twined her hands in Dani’s soft hair and guided her head, shivering when Dani moaned against her in return. Maybe it was the sequence of events, being the one to make Dani completely fall apart while feeling the echo of that pleasure, but soon Jamie’s hips were jerking out of rhythm and she was raking her nails down the back of Dani’s neck and shoulders — anywhere she could reach — desperate and hurtling over the edge. Even after she had finished, breathlessly staring up at the star-studded ceiling, Dani toyed at Jamie with the tip of her tongue, just softly, just enough to keep her suspended like a bridge held aloft by the tightness of a rope.

And as Dani crawled back up her body to curl up against her, Jamie could think only that — of all the bad decisions in her life, this one would surely have the most dire consequences. She just didn’t know what those might be, and she was afraid of ever finding out.

—

There wasn’t much to pack, if anything. The majority of belongings they had begun with on this trip had been abandoned back on the Czerka flagship. Jamie was still lamenting the loss of her favourite pair of overalls and band shirt combination — wrecked at the courtesy of none other than Peter fucking Quint himself — as she pocketed her handheld mining laser. Behind her, Dani was fussing with her headband, trying to tease her hair into just the right shape all without the aid of a mirror.

“Does this look okay?” she asked, hands still tucking stray strands back.

A little flatter than usual, but all Jamie said was, “You look great. Better than me. Not that that’s hard.”

Dani smiled, lowering her hands only to approach Jamie and fix her starched white collar. “I think you look wonderful.”

Jamie made a face. “These clothes make me feel like I’m a conductor for a galactic circus.”

“You look very rakish. Like you’re about to strike some shady business deal.”

“Oh, well, if I’m rakish, then that’s all right.”

Dani’s smile ticked up at one corner and she leaned forward to kiss her. Jamie remembered waking up to a similar scene not long ago. A morning spent in much slower exploration than the previous evening until they were finger-mussed and kiss-bruised and had to go seeking a much-needed shower, during which Dani had ignored the mirrors in favour of pressing Jamie up against a tiled wall and putting her hands between her legs.

Now Dani put a hand to the small of Jamie’s back and pressed lightly, just enough to brush their hips together. Jamie opened her mouth as Dani’s tongue swept against hers.

A low chime from the ceiling. “Excuse me,” said the ship’s computer. “But we have arrived.”

Jamie pulled away. “We should probably go.”

“Yeah,” Dani nodded, but her gaze was fixed on Jamie’s mouth, as though she wanted nothing more than to lean back in and pick up where they’d left off this morning.

Jamie patted her arm and reached around to remove Dani’s hand from her waist. “Later.”

“Promise?”

With a soft huff of laughter, Jamie answered with another lingering kiss. A coil of heat wound tight in her stomach, and she stepped back before it could take root. “C’mon. Let’s go.”

Only reluctantly did Dani let herself be led from the luxury cruiser by the hand. The ship lowered the gangway for them with a jettison of atmo as it repressurised. The muggy air of Tython bore with it the old familiar smell of dense vegetation, even here on the planet’s major space station. As the station was revealed and all its bustling people and droids, Dani squeezed Jamie’s hand. Jamie looked up to find Dani nervously chewing her lower lip and staring out at the people, many of them wearing robes of various cut and colour, though their occupation was clear.

Squeezing her hand back before letting it go, Jamie opened her mouth to give an encouraging word, but before she could speak there came a low chime from the speaker ports.

“How would you like me to wait for your return?” the ship’s computer asked.

“Oh, uh -” said Jamie. “How much is it to dock here?”

“One hundred and thirty-five credits per day.”

“A hundred and thirty-five?” Jamie repeated, incredulous.

“Do you not have enough credits to afford this?”

Scowling, Jamie fired back, “Are you always this much of a tit?”

“Query irresolvable,” the ship’s computer responded. “I have no anatomy, because I have no body. I do, however, have a stockpile of credits from Czerka Corporation in a private account tied to this vessel and accessible only by this vessel.”

Jamie shot the speaker ports a puzzled glance. “And how long could you remain docked using this private account?”

“Approximately two hundred and three years.”

Jamie’s eyes widened as she did some quick maths in her head.

“Would you like me to dock here for two hundred and three years?”

“What?” Jamie shook her head. “No! Just - stay here until we get back. And don’t let anyone else aboard.”

“Affirmative, Bollocks.”

Muttering expletives under her breath, Jamie continued down the gangway.

“So, you’re rich now?” Dani asked.

“Only if I survive the next week,” Jamie said. “I’m going to worry about that later. C’mon. I see Owen over there.”

Dani’s head jerked up and she glanced around with wide eyes. Jamie smiled and shook her head, walking along with Dani trailing in her wake. Owen stood near the station entrance, wearing blue robes dusted with flour handprints, and a sheathed lightsabre at his hip. His moustache twitched in a smile when he noticed her approach and he stepped forward to squeeze Jamie in a hug that picked her up a good half meter off the ground.

“Oooof,” said Jamie as he set her back down, hands remaining on her shoulders.

“Look at you,” Owen said. “What do they feed you on Telos? Raw air and nothing else?”

She swatted his hands from her shoulders. “Fuck off. And why do you look like you’ve just escaped a bakery?”

“I’ve taken an interest in cooking while you’ve been away.”

“Thought you were supposed to be a healer, mate.”

“Food,” said Owen very seriously, “is healing. And I’ll not have you - oh no. Jamie. You didn’t.”

He was staring over her shoulder at something behind her. Jamie turned, only to find Dani standing there awkwardly toying with her own fingers as she witnessed their reunion, her mismatched eyes wary. Owen’s face went from confused, to aghast, then to hard and guarded.

“I can explain -” Jamie started to say.

Owen pointed — not at Dani but at the sleek luxury cruiser they’d just disembarked. “You told us you were done with smuggling for good.”

"It's not like that!" Jamie insisted.

“You wait ‘till Hannah hears about this, young lady,” he said with faux gravitas, wagging a finger under her nose.

“Oh, come off it!”

Grinning, Owen stepped forward to Dani with his hand outstretched. “You must be Miss Clayton. I trust you’ve been making sure Jamie hasn’t been getting into any trouble?”

With a breathy laugh, Dani hesitated to take his hand before finally shaking it as if expecting to be struck by sudden lightning. “To the contrary.”

He narrowed his eyes towards Jamie. “That doesn’t sound right. Has she been ill?”

“Oi!” Jamie snapped.

Owen chuckled, letting go of Dani’s hand and making shooing motions at the two of them. “Off we hop, then. I have the landspeeder parked outside and dinner in the oven.”

“Is that a euphemism?” asked Jamie.

Owen made no gesture, but Jamie felt a light repreminanding flick of the Force at the back of her head. “Don’t be naughty, now. We have a guest.”

Rubbing at the back of her head, Jamie followed him to the landspeeder. She offered Dani a brief encouraging smile, receiving something tremulous in return.

“He seems nice,” Dani said in a low voice.

“I am,” said Owen without turning around. “Thank you.”

Leaning closer to Dani, Jamie whispered, “And he’s got big ears.”

“I do, yes. Who wants the front seat?”

Jamie let Dani take it, so she herself could sprawl across the whole back seat and lean her head over the side of the landspeeder, the wind ruffling her unruly curls. In the front seat, Owen did his best to put Dani at ease while he drove, occupying her with polite talk of her home planet, Alderaan, how it compared to Tython, etc. Jamie only piped up when she heard her own name spoken, usually to correct one of Owen’s tall tales about her, which made Dani’s mouth curve in a smile that Jamie wanted to kiss away.

They had landed on the planet at dusk, and by the time they arrived at Hannah’s apartment in the outer fringes of the Temple complex it was dark. Hannah was sitting on a couch and scrolling through a dry holo feed depicting ancient texts, when Owen ushered them through the front door and into the lounge. In robes of rich burgundy hues against her dark skin, she was a picture of elegance just as Jamie remembered. Immediately she swiped the holo feed away and rose to her feet, crossing the room to pull Jamie into a warm hug and greet Dani with an outstretched hand.

“Do you want drinks?” Hannah asked. “Only I believe Owen had a specific wine he wanted to pair with tonight’s dinner.”

“Did you turn off the oven at -?” Owen started to ask but Hannah simply patted his darkly stubbled cheek.

“Of course I did, silly man. What do you take me for?” Hannah chided.

He grinned but made no move to lean into the gesture or otherwise react, and soon Hannah dropped her hand. Owen disappeared into the kitchen while Hannah urged Dani and Jamie to sit. Jamie sat on the couch, and when Dani sat beside her it was so close their thighs pressed together. Hannah’s dark eyes flicked down to note this, but she simply smiled and inquired about their trip.

With a hand towel tossed over one shoulder, Owen emerged from the kitchen not long later with a platter of savoury pastries, which he set on a table for easy access. Jamie swiped one up with an eager hand.

“Not bad,” she said to Owen, mid-chew. “I can feel my latest scar healing up already.”

“Shush you,” Owen said, swatting at her knees with the hand towel. Jamie snickered and reached for another pastry.

Meanwhile Hannah had sat on a lone armchair and turned her attention to Dani. “Jamie mentioned she had a Force Sensitive friend with a peculiar - ah - predicament, so to speak. She brought you to the right place.”

“Oh, I’m not,” Dani said with a flighty motion of her hand, “Force Sensitive.”

Hannah tilted her head. “What makes you say that?”

“It’s not me that uses the Force. It’s -” she pointed to her eye, the one that burned a constant gold these days, “- whatever this is.”

“And what makes you think you have nothing to do with it?” Hannah asked.

“Well,” Dani fumbled for a response. She was perched at the very edge of the couch, knees tucked together as if expecting a scolding from a teacher. “Peter said -”

“Peter?” Hannah rounded on Jamie with a flinty expression. “Don’t tell me you’re still getting yourself tied up with the likes of Peter bloody Quint.”

“I’m not!” Jamie said, trying to sound indignant but doing a very poor job of it since her mouth was full of pastry. She chewed quickly and swallowed so she could better defend herself. “Besides, he’s dead now!”

“Oh, that is a shame,” Owen sighed dreamily. “I would’ve liked to have seen it myself.”

“Who was the lucky bastard who killed him?” Hannah asked.

From the couch, Dani cleared her throat uncomfortably, then lifted her hand in a miserable little wave. Both Owen and Hannah exchanged surprised glances.

“It was an accident,” Dani said in a small voice.

“Well, brava,” said Owen.

Dani closed her eyes. “Please, don’t. I - uh -” she drew in a trembling breath and forged on, “I don’t know exactly what Jamie told you, but he wasn’t the only one.”

“Ah,” said Hannah shortly. “Yes, she did mention something about that. The dead Consular out by Vurdon Ka. Edmund, was it?”

Dani’s only reply was to nod and stare down at her socks; they’d all removed their shoes at the front door and set them into the cloak closet.

“Can’t imagine the investigation will come poking around here,” Owen added. “They’ll think you’ve run off to the Outer Rim to hide.”

Hannah hummed. “Yes, well, best we keep Miss Clayton inside for the duration of her visit, anyway.”

Dani stared at them in utter bewilderment. “But don’t you - Shouldn’t you be reporting me to the authorities?”

Owen tipped his head towards Jamie. “If this one vouches for you, then I believe you.”

Placing her hand over her heart, Jamie said, “That’s so romantic. You going soft on me?”

He knocked his foot against her ankle. “You wish.”

“If what you say is true,” said Hannah, ignoring their antics, “and you’re being inhabited by some Sith entity, then I rather think it our duty to help you, not put you down like a rabid dog.”

Owen cleared his throat. “About the Sith entity thing. Can we go back to that?”

"Quint said something about a -" Jamie trailed off, then turned to Dani. "What did he call it? The glowy box?"

"A holocron," Dani said.

Both Hannah and Owen turned to look at them with such sudden sharpness that Jamie nearly took a step back in surprise.

"A holocron," Hannah repeated. “You’re sure?”

"What colour was it?" Owen asked Dani before she could answer Hannah’s question. "Was it blue? Please say it was blue. I'll even take green."

Dani blinked, taken aback, and glanced nervously between them and Jamie before she answered, "It was red."

Hannah drew in a sharp breath and Owen grimaced as though he'd just been shot in the leg.

“Where is it now?” Hannah asked.

"Gone," Jamie said with a shake of her head. "In bits and pieces back on Quint's flagship."

"Not all of it."

The three of them — Hannah, Owen, and Jamie — all turned their attention to Dani, who was wringing her hands together in her lap. Then she reached into the sewn up makeshift pocket of her cloak and pulled out a single shard of black gold metal.

"I kept one of the pieces," Dani explained, holding it out towards them. "In case — I don't know — in case Peter tried to put it back together again."

“May I?” Hannah held out her hand.

Dani passed it over to her. Carefully, Hannah inspected it. Thin, triangular and gleaming darkly in the light. Jamie thought she could almost hear a faint whisper when she looked at it for too long, a cold fingertip brushing against the back of her neck, travelling down the length of her spine.

“There is part of an inscription here in the old Sith Tongue,” Hannah said, and she spoke a series of guttural words that seemed to darken the very air around her before translating them. “I sleep. I wake. I walk.”

“Mmm,” said Owen. “Hate that.”

“I’m so glad you two know what the hell is going on,” Jamie said dryly.

Shooting Jamie an exasperated look, Hannah handed the shard back to Dani. “Thank you, dear. What you have there is a piece of a very rare storage device made with the Force. Undoubtedly Sith in origin, and very ancient, too. Jedi use them as well. Holocrons contain information. Secrets. Wisdom. Power.”

Dani turned the metallic triangle over between the fingers as if trying to read the same inscription, or to glean something more. “And what did this one hold?”

“I haven’t the foggiest,” Hannah said with a soft smile. “Whatever that holocron once held is long gone now.”

Dani clenched the triangle in one fist. “But what if we had all the pieces?”

“Perhaps that would accomplish something. I doubt it.” Then Hannah added wryly, “You might be able to make a very fine lamp.”

In the other armchair, Owen snorted. Without looking in his direction, Jamie aimed a kick at his leg, which he easily dodged.

“That can’t be everything,” Dani said, knuckles going white, voice going shaky. “You have to know something more. There has to be more.”

Hannah shrugged. “I’ll look through the archives tonight. Maybe then we will have more answers.”

“That’s -”

"Tomorrow," said Hannah firmly yet kindly. She stood and urged Dani to her feet as well.

"But -" Dani started to say.

Hannah put a warm hand on Dani shoulder and steered her towards the dining room. "Tomorrow," she repeated. "We cannot solve the galaxy's problems in an evening."

—

After dinner, they retired to the lounge over a glass of wine. Hannah took Dani aside, where they murmured away together in a corner, while Jamie and Owen sat in armchairs across a polished stone firepit that had been dug into the ground. Dani wandered off to bed not long after with a lingering glance in Jamie’s direction, then Hannah left for the comforts of her archives, murmuring that same phrase in the old Sith Tongue as she went.

I sleep. I wake. I walk.

Jamie shivered in spite of herself. Owen watched her knowingly over the rim of his glass.

“How are you really?”

“You know me. Bold as brass,” Jamie muttered.

He glanced down the hallway, where Dani had gone and not emerged after the sound of a door shutting. “I shouldn’t have to tell you to be careful, so I won’t.”

Jamie grimaced. “Yeah. I know.”

“I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“I won’t. Besides,” she reached out to nudge his elbow so that it slipped off the armrest of the couch. “I can always count on you to patch me up again.”

His answering smile was strained. “I can only do so much with lightsabre wounds.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Owen took a sip of his wine and hummed, the note echoing slightly around the glass bowl. “I defer to Hannah in matters of balance in the Force,” he said, “but I’m not sure I can do anything for your friend without more information. And even then — I’m saying this might be a lost cause, Jamie.”

Jamie gripped the stem of her wineglass and rolled her head back to sigh at the ceiling. “If I had two credits for every time someone told me that, I’d have twelve credits.”

“You could buy yourself a decent stimpack with that,” he said with a snap of his fingers.

She let her head loll forward again and leaned her cheek upon her fist. “I know what you’re going to say.”

Owen smiled sadly at her and then he said it anyway, “You need to prepare yourself for the worst.”

“I don’t want to hear it, mate.”

He leaned forward, setting aside his wineglass on a side table, and said in a soft yet serious tone, “You cannot let your judgement be clouded by personal attachments.”

She laughed, a short bitter huff of laughter. “That’s rich, coming from you.” With a gesture around the room, she said, “Awfully cosy here in Hannah’s place, innit? Was that your spare cloak and set of boots in the closet I saw?”

If Owen was put off his stride in any way, he did not show it, nor did he falter. “As a member of The Order, it is your duty to help everyone you can. And in that regard, you have always been the best of us.”

Jaw tight, Jamie glared into the firepit, a flicker of flame sending up sparks. “I’m not a Jedi.”

“No,” he murmured, his gaze dark and warm and unyielding. “But you act like one. If strength and power were what made a Jedi, then we would all be Sith. You are not defined by how much of the Force you can control. It’s what you do that matters.”

Jamie eyes burned from staring at the fire for too long. She cleared her throat, lifted her wineglass and drained its contents.

“Thanks for the drink and for the food,” she said, setting the wineglass aside and pushing herself to her feet. “And for the shit pep talk.”

Owen did not stand or attempt to bring her back when Jamie turned and walked down the same hallway Dani had vanished down about an hour ago. He let her go with a soft, “Good night,” that Jamie caught just on the edges of her hearing, and which made her fists clench.

At the end of the hall, Hannah had given them each their own rooms across from one another. Jamie stopped in front of Dani’s door. There was a soft light shining beneath the gap at the base, indicating that either Dani was still awake, or she was too afraid to sleep alone with the lights off. Jamie lifted her hand to knock, but stopped before she could touch the door. Instead she ran her hand down her face and rubbed at her eyes. Then with a shake of her head, she turned around and went into her own room.

It was the first night in nearly two weeks that Jamie slept alone. She tossed and turned, looking back towards her own shut door, seeing the echo of that pale sliver of light across the hall. Telling herself she was being ridiculous, she shut her eyes and struggled in search of sleep.

—

“I did a bit more research last night,” said Hannah as a greeting over breakfast.

“Oh, aye?” Jamie mumbled to the contents of her teacup.

Late morning sunlight washed through the tall windows of Hannah’s apartment, and Jamie was combating a pervasive grogginess with her third cup of the morning. Sleep last night had been a futile effort. Sitting across the table from her, Dani looked no better off; her eyes were circled with dark rings and her hair lacked its usual polished care. She had already been out in the kitchen for some time when Jamie had finally emerged from her room to find Dani helping Owen prepare breakfast and set the table. Both she and Owen had greeted Jamie with varying degrees of enthusiasm — Dani with a small private grin, Owen with a boisterous call of ‘Good Morning!’ that could’ve woken the dead.

Now they were all seated at the dining table. Owen had prepared a spread of food that would have given the ship’s computer a run for its millions of credits. He and Dani had tucked in, while Jamie and Hannah nursed their cups of tea in lieu of food.

“That inscription,” said Hannah. “I sleep. I wake. I walk. IT was specific enough to give me a small lead.”

Jamie lowered her cup, while across the table from her Dani did the same with her knife and fork, suddenly alert.

“So, what did the holocron have in it?” Jamie asked.

“Not what. Who.” Hannah pointed around her cup towards Dani, who had gone stock-still. “The echo of a soul. An ancient Sith Lord, whose sunken tomb is said to lie beneath the waters of a planet lost to time after the Hundred-Year Darkness. I could find nothing more than this, and at first I thought it a mere legend. Here. These images were taken from The Valley of the Dark Lords on Korriban.”

Hannah tapped at a link on her wrist, bringing up a holographic display which she set to the middle of the table so the rest of them could see. A collage of pictures from various sources. Old texts written on parchment or carved into stone. Weathered statues emerging from bodies of water in dark caves, and vast frescos painted upon plastered walls depicting a woman. All of them somehow defaced. Sections of writing blotted or chiselled away. The heads of every statue, every painting smashed or blighted as though taken to by a hammer.

“Spooky,” Owen muttered.

“What’s wrong with her face?” asked Jamie.

“It seems even other Sith feared her. Or envied her. Or hated her. Who knows? But her very name and image have been desecrated beyond repair, condemned to damnatio memoriae,” Hannah highlighted a section of writing that had been left unscarred. “They call her only: The Lady.”

Jamie stared at one of the statues, and even though it lacked all discernible features she could not shake herself of the horrible feeling that it was watching her back. “A Sith feared by other Sith? Well, that’s not terrifying at all.”

“All Sith eventually turn on each other in the end,” Owen scoffed. “This was probably just the work of some ambitious apprentice. You know how they are.”

“That’s very possible,” agreed Hannah.

“So instead of knowledge,” Jamie said slowly, “the holocron was holding a piece of her soul? Why?”

“A piece? No.” Hannah shook her head. “More like a shadow. A reflection of what once was whole. And for what purpose, I cannot say. Did she even make it herself? Or was it made of her unwillingly? Perhaps to preserve her own life. Or even to trap her, to interrogate her. All of these are plausible.”

Owen hummed a contemplative note, nodding to himself, then he abruptly said, “More tea?”

Hannah held out her cup. “Please. Thank you, dear.”

Meanwhile, Dani had spoken not a word. Her gaze was glued to one of the holo images, the one of a fresco depicting The Lady, faceless, with her hands on the shoulders of a young child with gold-graven eyes.

Jamie nudged her foot under the table, and Dani started, blinking at her.

“Sorry,” Dani breathed.

“S’alright,” Jamie said. She nodded towards the holo images. “This sound familiar at all?”

Dani licked her lips and then nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s her.” Hands clenched and trembling around her cutlery, she said, “I’m sorry, but can you please turn that off?”

Without question, Hannah killed the feed, and Dani breathed a sigh of relief. Owen topped up Dani’s teacup as well, and she smiled gratefully at him. He winked and set down the teapot.

“As fascinating as Sith history is,” said Owen dryly. “What does it have to do with Alderaan? Why target children of House Thul?”

Hannah looked to be deep in thought, sipping at her tea with a furrow to her brow, while Dani shrugged.

Meanwhile, Jamie groaned and rubbed at her eyes. "I don't know," she said, "but I know someone who does. Do you have a transceiver?"

“Oh! Yeah. Give me a tick.” Owen pushed back his chair and went off in search of a transceiver. He returned a moment later holding a blade-thin screen, tapping at it to pull up the right application before he handed it to Jamie and sat back down in his seat. “Here.”

“Cheers.” Jamie took the screen and typed in the relevant frequency and hit a green button.

It rang. And rang. And just as Jamie was about to kill the feed, the screen flickered and a familiar face appeared.

Rebecca smiled. "Well, that was fast. Miss me already?"

#thobm #the haunting of bly manor #star wars #roman writes #no great revelation #damie #dani clayton/jamie

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the-good-noodle-kf · 4 years

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Redacted (First) Impressions

My Saiou Winter Exchange Gift for @evil-muffins

Prompt: Pre-game fic, angsty w/ a side of fluff

Hope you like c:

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“My name is ******* ***. My audition number is three-hundred fifty-one.”

“I’m… always looked down on and.. I probably deserve it. So, I thought, fuck my memories huh? It’s not like I care about anyone. Just… I don’t want to be weak anymore. I want to be rewritten as someone less weak. Maybe I could be someone to look up to, like a leader. But, it doesn’t matter what I am; I’m desperate, and isn’t that what you want from people? People so desperate that they’ll willingly offer their lives away to become part of a killing game?”

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Every day is a string of bland pointless blurs that bleed into the next like watercolor paint.

So, why not make life as interesting as possible?

Kokichi Oma stares blankly. He presses down on the lit power button of his computer monitor, effectively shutting it off. It’s done. That’s it. The chance that they’ll consider him is low, but maybe they - Team Danganronpa - will find value in him that no one else has. He barely got a submission number. It took hours of staying awake, eyes peeled, staring at the stinging blue light of the screen until he requested an audition as fast as he possibly could. Even still, he ended up with number three-hundred fifty-one. He wonders how someone could possibly get the first audition.

Applying for Danganronpa has become much more… commonplace, ever since they began using simulation technology. As strange as it may seem, not everyone is exactly willing to stake their lives on a show, but for some, their memories are a small price to pay for becoming a part of the show. Though it might also have something to do with the prize money, Oma doesn’t care much about that. He’s omniscient enough to know that he definitely doesn’t have a very high self-worth… or self-preservation for that matter, but it’s not like he can change that just from being aware of it.

II.

School is boring.

Each additional day of school he's feeling more tired and drained, regardless of how much he falls asleep in class. What is the point of working if he has nothing to work towards?

III.

Shuichi Saihara.

It’s the name of his new coworker… the one he’s supposed to be training. Oma’s worked at the place for not even a year, yet his boss says he’s qualified to teach the boy that was hired just a few days ago.

“Thank you for shopping! Have a great day!” He repeats his response, with his cyclic forced smile bridging his cheeks. It’s almost robotic, in how habitual and automatic it’s become after saying it to every single customer once they’ve paid. He looks to Saihara once the little bell on the door rings, signaling the exit of the customer, and he’s back to his normal expression. It’s not a frown, but it’s definitely not a smile either. “And that’s it. Did you want to try?” he offers, not really sure himself.

Saihara’s staring at him closely, like he doesn’t know what to make of him, but yet he still startles at the response. His brows furrow together but he does nod, so Oma moves aside and lets Saihara stand in front of the register instead. Saihara mumbles as he looks down at the keys, “I wonder why...”

Oma tilts his head at the unfinished sentence as he assesses Saihara. He’s taller than him, and he seems nervous. Oma can also see that he’s good looking, but he probably isn’t a very popular or outgoing person, judging by his mannerisms.

IV.

Working is… habitual for Oma. It’s not that he particularly hates it, and he does make money, but he only does it because he knows that he’d otherwise be doing legitimately nothing, and doing something at least makes him feel a little better about himself. Regardless of how much he dreads being a functional human being in general, he has to - he has to because he’s terrified of what will happen if he stops.

“Ah, Oma-kun,”

Oma looks over with curiosity at the other as he restocks shelves. It’s only the two of them right now. There haven’t been many customers because of the cold, dreary weather. It’s also a Monday, so people are too busy working or at afterschool activities to have any need to stop at the relatively small convenience store.

“Your cheek…” Saihara trails off, scratching his wrist, and Oma reflexively lifts his hand and brushes his fingers over the scrape, reminding him of it with a slight sting.

He lifts up the corners of his cheeks, walls raising, “hmmmm?”

“W-wait, I have-” Saihara cuts himself off as he runs off into the employee’s only door. It’s a little room with a few tiny lockers that Oma throws his school bag in on the days he comes straight from school. Saihara comes back with a bag of his own and huh- Oma didn’t expect Saihara to have so many Danganronpa pins, or any really; there’s a little Monokuma keychain hanging from one of the zippers too. He raises his eyebrows and even smiles a little bit at the thought of someone else liking what he likes, but it’s smothered by the fear of being known, of showing who he really is, and Saihara is oblivious to all this as he tugs a band-aid out of the front pocket and hands it to Oma.

It’s like his mind fizzles like a burnt-out lightbulb for a second when Saihara, instead of just handing him the band-aid like a normal person, envelops Oma’s hand with his own and deposits the band-aid with the other. Oma’s sure that’s not normally how people give other people band-aids, or anything, but the feeling of Saihara’s shockingly warm hand is gone as quick as it arrived when he releases him and smiles. Oma’s even more embarrassed because he actually briefly considered if Saihara was a warm or cold hands person, which isn’t normal, because who does that? Who thinks about their co-worker’s hand temperature - who he doesn’t really know, but seems really nice, if handing him a band-aid could be considered a point of reference.

Oma’s not even sure what tangent his mind is going off on this time, so he looks down in his hand at the band-aid and sees that - huh, it’s got Kyoko Kirigiri on it. He must’ve mumbled her name aloud because Saihara gasps and has an expression that almost reminds Oma of a dog wagging its tail. “You watch Danganronpa?” Saihara grabs his hands again, and Oma knows he can’t blame his blush on anything else but Saihara if questioned.

He squeaks out an “mhm,” and tries to look back at the band-aid that’s now fallen on the floor after Saihara grabbed his hands, and he ends up just looking at their hands. Why is he so focused on Saihara holding his hands?

Saihara lets go and runs to put his bag away again, at least, that’s what Oma assumes. It gives him a moment to pick the band-aid up off the floor and come to realize why, in fact, Saihara handed him the band-aid in the first place. ...Does he… expect me to put this band-aid on my face?

...But, it would be rude not to. So he opens the band-aid and sticks it on his face, approximating where he puts the cottony part over the place on his face that’s stinging the most when he brushes his finger over it. It wasn’t even bleeding, but Saihara practically beams when he comes back, and the rest of his shift goes by like a fog. He’s not really able to focus on anything after experiencing that - he was completely unprepared.

VI.

Oma isn’t sure why he keeps thinking about Saihara. He’s ashamed of himself. Why does he keep going back to the feeling of Saihara’s hands on his? It was completely… platonic? Except Oma doesn’t think that word works either, because there’s no way him and Saihara are friends, even if they’ve spent a total of fifteen hours together total since he met Saihara three days ago; he’s known him three days, and already, he has some dumb, crush, or something. He doesn’t know what to do with it, and having not had any physical contact that wasn’t bodily damaging with someone in as many years as he can remember, isn’t helping him. He groans aloud as he face-plants into the open textbook on his mattress. He wouldn’t call it a bed, since it has no sheets and sits on the floor instead of being sandwiched between a bed frame.

He peers over to the side of his resting place where his little trash can is and of course, there’s the band-aid that he peeled from his cheek immediately after getting back from work last night - not home, he’s never “home” when he’s here - and of course everything he looks at is reminding him of the boy.

He’s not supposed to do this - to want to be held; he’s not a damn child. He definitely can’t count the number of times he’s thought about Saihara hugging him on one hand. He’s not supposed to do this.

For one of many times, he wonders why he’s like this. Why is he like this?

VII.

Oma’s something of a… target, at school. He fits the parameters perfectly; he’s small, short, effeminate, generally weak, quiet. It’s nothing dramatic like being beaten up within the school, luckily. It’s the little things, like being tripped in the hallways by an upperclassmen’s ‘conveniently’ outstretched foot and then snickered at, having a book of his be hung high above his head, out of his reach, by another student until he repeated whatever idiotic thing they wanted him to say, the occasional mockery, his belongings getting stolen when he’s not looking, being chosen as the designated monkey in the middle as his belongings are tossed between two guys that think they’re the absolute pinnacle of comedy, and various other meaningless things he deals with.

School is something he can handle, though.

VIII.

“Oma-kun.” Saihara ducks his head as he pushes his phone into Oma’s hands. It’s open on the contacts screen, and Oma stares at it for a second, the unfilled contact info, before realizing it’s Saihara’s roundabout way of asking him for his number. He smiles a little and Saihara’s eyes widen, his expression becoming pretty serious as he takes in Oma’s grin.

Oma doesn’t realize he’s smiling until Saihara points it out, “You’re smiling.”

Even though he’s a little self-conscious now it’s been acknowledged, he still nods, and smiles even wider; he hands the phone back to Saihara, his number in place.

IX.

He wishes he could handle being home as well as he can handle school.

Saihara texts Oma a lot.

He’s constantly sending messages about anything and everything, especially Danganronpa. As Oma reads through he wonders if Saihara just texts him every time he thinks something. It doesn’t bother him though; every time he gets a new message he smiles in a way that he would deny if he were face to face with Saihara.

It’s a little weird, but hearing Saihara’s thoughts and theories and opinions is so interesting. Oma really hopes Saihara doesn’t get discouraged by his own lack of response. He doesn’t ignore him, but his replies are far and few between - things like little smile emotes and one-word responses. He doesn’t exactly know how to reply otherwise.

He can’t help but feel hesitant. Talking about his own opinions makes him feel self-centered and narcissistic, and he wants to be anything but that. What if Saihara thinks that he turns everything around to make it about himself? Saihara probably doesn’t want to hear what he has to say anyway… Oma’s come to accept the fact that people don’t want to hear what he has to say, so he stays quiet.

That doesn’t stop him from reading all of Saihara’s messages over again and grinning secretively under his blanket.

XI.

Saihara invites him over the next day. It’s Sunday, and neither of them is scheduled at work, so Oma accepts.

Getting ready is nerve-wracking for Oma, because he can’t remember the last time he had a friend to hang out with. It’s such a “normal people” thing to do - leisurely spend the day with friends. It’s a thing that feels so out of the ordinary to someone like Oma. He puts on a long sleeve shirt but then changes out of it after his nervousness makes his body temperature rise, and the sleeves feel a little too tight and warm. He puts it on again because of how bare his arms feel in a T-shirt and maneuvers around the floor and out the door before he can change his mind or before his aunt notices his presence.

The first impression Oma has of Saihara’s living space is that it’s quiet. It’s also pretty neat and ordinary, and Saihara makes no mention of any parents or relatives which leaves Oma feeling a little curious.

The day is surreal. He and Saihara talk and watch some of the earlier seasons of Danganronpa while eating some artificial tasting junk food, and it’s fun. It’s so fun. He’s shocked about how natural it feels, spending time with the other boy. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt so content, ever had a true, genuine smile on his face for so long - ever had someone else have such a genuine smile on their face in return.

Saihara asks him things and he answers them, because if he’s asked, then he can talk about himself. Oma’s glad that Saihara wants to know about him just as much as he wants to learn about Saihara.

He wants it to last, and there’s a twisting feeling in his chest because he’s already convinced that it won’t.

When Oma gets back, it’s late enough that he has to sneak in through his window - the apartment is on the ground floor, and the screen already has holes torn into it that make it easy to reach in and remove before placing it back and latching it in. The brass latch reminds him of the color of Shuichi’s eyes as he locks it - Oma’s not sure when Saihara became Shuichi - and he’s so caught up in Shuichi, and talking to Shuichi, that he jumps when a door slams, shaking all thoughts of his day out of his mind.

XII.

Oma doesn’t know what to do. The day after visiting Saihara had been one of the worse ones recently, and Shuichi catches onto it through his messages somehow and asks him if he’s okay of all things.

And Oma replies, “why?”

Oma doesn’t know what to do when Shuichi Saihara sends him the five-word message, “because I care about you…”

No one cares about him. That’s just how things are. There’s no way Saihara actually cares about him. Why would he?

XIII.

If Shuichi cares about him, then why couldn’t his parents?

XIV.

He’s not exactly sure when he and Shuichi became friends, but he supposes it happened somewhere between Shuichi making it known that he was generally concerned for Oma’s well being, (that’s never happened to him before; have someone be concerned? About him? The ridiculous idea rolls around in Oma’s head like an optimistic interposition), Oma realizing that on his days off, he’d long for Shuichi’s presence, and their countless messages to each other that make the longing a little more bearable.

It’s new to Oma. He’s never… craved the company of another. It makes him feel pathetic, but also… kind of lonely.

It makes the moments when he’s around Shuichi all the better.

XV.

He becomes Kokichi to Shuichi. Being addressed by his given name, despite giving Shuichi his explicit permission, makes Kokichi feel giddy.

XVI.

School isn’t so bad… especially on the days that Shuichi takes the train over so they can walk home together.

Side by side.

Hand in hand.

XVII.

He wants to kiss Shuichi.

XVIII.

Kokichi’s room is a less depressing place when he has Shuichi to sneak in. The two of them waste time by watching movies on Kokichi’s computer or playing board games that Shuichi carried in.

XIX.

Shuichi speaks up from behind the register when the store is devoid of customers. “I noticed…” he starts, scratching at his wrist, and Kokichi looks up to make eye contact “at first, you always had this smile on, but it was just pretend…”

Kokichi doesn’t have time to react before Shuichi’s continuing his train of thought.

“But when I asked for your phone number, you had a different smile for the first time. It made me really happy to see that I made you smile for real…” Shuichi fumbles with his hands, but Kokichi doubts that Shuichi’s more embarrassed than he is after hearing something so… sentimental.

XX.

Shuichi’s favorite thing about Kokichi may be seeing him smile, but Kokichi’s favorite thing about Shuichi is feeling his warm arms enveloping him when they hug.

Kokichi’s feelings have escalated so much that he’s drowning in them, and he doesn’t ever want to come up for air.

XXI.

Oma’s long sleeves usually hide the finger-sized bruises on his arms, but he can’t hide the ones around his neck.

Shuichi goes on high alert as he shuts the door behind them. It is the first time he’s seeing where Kokichi lives - besides when he snuck into Kokichi’s window with snacks to watch a movie on his computer - but it isn’t the time to take notice of the dilapidated state of the furniture and wallpaper. All he can focus on is the alarming marks on Kokichi’s neck that look like someone shoved him up against a wall and didn’t let him breathe for who knows how long. “What happened?" Concerned, he reaches a hand out to gesture and Oma flinches.

Oma wants to tell him, “I forgot to lock the door, so my aunt got mad,” because, she didn’t want him to begin with, it’s not her fault she got stuck with him after his parents left. He wasn’t wanted. At least he had somewhere to sleep, his aunt would tell him, and Oma thought she was right.

But he can’t tell him that, because that would mean seeing the look in Shuichi’s eyes as he realizes Kokichi is a burden to him too.

“It’s nothing,” he deflects.

It’s silent as Saihara mumbles, but in a way that’s loud enough to hear, “I knew something was off when we first met. When you got so guarded about how you got that scrape on your cheek. I thought maybe someone was bullying you at school, but after we started walking together, I knew that wasn’t the case.”

Oma shrinks back, but Saihara keeps going.

“I didn’t push it at the time, because it was none of my business, but… was it… your guardian?”

He says “guardian” because Oma hasn’t spoken a word to him about his aunt. But the silence is Shuichi’s answer.

“Kokichi, you have to tell someone- you can’t just let them-” let them what? Give him what he deserves? He’s a problem child. A burden. A -

“I can’t.” Saihara doesn’t understand. Oma doesn’t even have it that bad. It could be so much worse, and he can stick it out for a few more years, can’t he?

A failure. “It won’t get better if you don’t report this!”

Oma avoids his eyes. “Shut up.”

A mistake. “I’m trying to help,” he says pleadingly, desperately.

“Maybe I don’t want your help! I’m not some problem that you have to solve Saihara!”

Saihara’s lips thin and when Oma expects him to retaliate he just - leaves. He turns around and runs off, shutting the door behind him.

It’s only after he’s gone and Oma is standing in the middle of the quiet, empty room that Oma is encompassed in the feeling of absolute dread.

XXII.

Saihara doesn’t show up for work the next day. Oma feels guilt gnawing at him during his shift, because it’s all his fault. He shouldn’t have pushed Saihara away. He texts him “sorry” and “can we talk?” through budding tears and hopes Saihara can forgive him.

XXIII.

He hasn’t texted him back anything in the past forty-eight hours, so Oma sighs and lets his feelings pour out in a long message when Saihara doesn’t answer his call. He tells him that he’s sorry, and that he doesn’t want Saihara to hate him.

XXIV.

The water cup he filled the night before has an almost stale taste to it in the morning, but Oma drinks it anyway because his throat is dry, and he can’t summon the energy to get up even though he’s been sleeping for the past thirteen hours. He’s still tired once he sets the cup down so he scrolls mindlessly through his past messages to and from Saihara before staring at Saihara’s last message to him, before their fight. He hasn’t said anything since.

He doesn’t go to school; he’s already sleeping again by the time it starts and he’s too preoccupied to care.

XXV.

With no reply, Oma gets worried really quickly. It’s unlike Saihara to completely… cut him off. He at least figured Saihara would reject his apology upfront instead of hiding away and giving him the silent treatment.

His chest makes that twisting feeling again and he feels unbearably nauseous when he goes to Saihara’s apartment and no one opens the door. There’s not even the telltale sound of footsteps towards the door to signal someone checking who’s there.

It’s like no one’s home.

He sits curled up in his blankets and practically spams Saihara with messages of “please answer me” and “tell me that you’re okay” but Saihara answers none of them. He’s sweating, and heaving, and he doesn’t care if Saihara hates him, he only wants him to say something. Oma needs a reply so he doesn’t keep panicking like he is now, thinking something happened to Saihara; he feels sick, and he can’t stop thinking about it.

XXVI.

Oma tries to rationalize. Saihara doesn’t have any family, and after Oma shut him out, maybe he simply… left. Just because he disappeared doesn’t mean something bad happened.

But, Oma thinks, what if something bad did happen. What if Saihara was abducted - or - or - killed? The thought of Saihara being dead makes Oma so uncomfortable; his throat feels like it’s closing up and it’s hard to swallow his own saliva. He’s growing more and more anxious each day he shows up to work and Saihara isn’t there beside him, despite being scheduled.

XXVII.

The metal of the buttons and zipper on his clothes feel especially cold against his skin as he gets ready for school. He probably looks terrible, but he can’t find it in himself to worry about that.

He has more important things to worry about.

Saihara is more important.

XXVIII.

Oma remembers sending in his Danganronpa application and thinks, this would be the perfect time to forget everything I’ve ever cared about, but then, what if Saihara comes back?

He wants Saihara to come back.

He wants to say sorry for shutting him out when he shouldn’t have.

He wants to have more long conversations about whatever comes to mind.

He wants to see Saihara smile at him again.

He wants to sit next to Saihara and watch movies for hours on end.

He wants to feel Saihara’s hands on his like that day when Saihara gave him that stupid Kirigiri band-aid.

He wants Saihara to forgive him.

XXIX.

His aunt makes him feel worthless.

XXX.

He should’ve kissed him when he had the chance.

XXXI.

Oma lies in his unmade bed, staring up at the ceiling, phone in hand.

It’s been over a week.

Why hasn’t Saihara replied to him? How can he fix this? Did Saihara forget about him like everyone else has?

His eye sockets are weighed down by a combination of depression and sleep deprivation.

His phone speaker blares through the silence - his alarm - his mind supplies through the ever-unchanging headache. He turns it off, already awake, and forces himself out of the temporary comfort of his blanket’s embrace, and gets dressed for work. Because he has to. Because he doesn’t know what else he’ll do if he doesn’t.

Because he hopes Saihara will show up.

(He doesn’t.)

On his walk home from work, he’s approached and pulled into a car, hearing the engine and looking out at the silent street as he falls into panicked unconsciousness. The initiation for the fifty-third killing game commences.

Ouma hesitates as he comes to the memories section of the contract. Even after everything, the participants won’t get their memories back... he won’t remember ever meeting Saihara; he won’t remember falling in love. He’ll know of nothing but whatever backstory Team Danganronpa cooks up for him.

But...

Saihara’s gone. As hard as it is to think about, Ouma doesn’t think Saihara will be waiting for him once the simulation ends. No one cares about him anyways, so he might as well make things interesting, right?

...right?

Ouma’s nose is tingly; his lower eyelids are about to spill over as he signs the contract, signing his past and present away.

Two doors down, Shuichi Saihara does the same.

Life has no meaning.

I also posted this on my Ao3 Account (More A/N there)

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excorcismic · 4 years

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❛ and my eyes are DAMP from the words you left , ringing in my head when you broke my chest . . . ❜

❛ I’M STILL YOUR ZELDA . ❜ playlist . plotting call . listen as you read !

the mirrors surrounding you did as they were meant to, reflecting back a spitting image of COURTNEY EATON - but it’s clear something is wrong from the moment that a vision of THE SAVIOR ; BLINDING LIGHT AS YOU PROTECT YOUR FINAL HOPE strikes you. perhaps it was a passing daydream in the frenzy of the funhouse. you reassure yourself - you’re ( PRINCESS ) ZELDA KING ! , a TWENTY-TWO YEAR-OLD BIOLOGY STUDENT / FLORIST EMPLOYEE whose virtue lies in your + INTELLIGENT & + GOOD-HEARTED , although you’ve been told that you tend to be quite - INSECURE & - PESSIMISTIC , and you’re associated with THE PRESSURE OF APOCALYPSE ON YOUR SHOULDERS , THE BLINDING LIGHT OF AN EXORCISM - A CLEANSING OF EVIL , GOLDEN TEARS FALLING INTO COLD & UNKIND WATERS OF PRAYER by those around you. suddenly , however , you’ve found GOLDEN BRACELETS on your person - was that always there ? from the moment you leave the funhouse, memories from your life in THE LEGEND OF ZELDA have begun to return - leaving whoever you had been before in the mirror’s reflection behind you . you can almost hear I OF THE STORM by OF MONSTERS AND MEN following in your wake. ( she/they & genderfluid )

this is the story of a very powerful being .

I . IF I COULD FACE THEM, IF I COULD MAKE AMENDS WITH ALL MY SHADOWS . . .

zelda king is born to a prestigious family with years of alucard history in their bloodlines . their father , speaking the word of the lord with a tongue of gold , and their mother , speaking the scripts of the law with a tongue of silver . they’re comfortable & happy - and the bundle they hold in their arms is the one that will carry along their glory .

so , simply , a child does not grow allowed to be a child - nothing but the best , that is what zelda king has been told to be from a young age .

from the moment she can enroll in school , she enters an expensive private school . from the moment she can speak , she is instructed to help her father with sunday mass . from the moment she can walk , she is sent to try out every single sport or physical activity until she finds one that suits her fancy ( she finds it in fencing . ) and it’s decided from an early age that she’ll either go into lord or law , golden tongue or silver . nothing else . and she is to get nothing but the best grades , as a prodigy is the bare minimum for what a king should be .

II . I’D BOW MY HEAD , AND WELCOME THEM . . .

zelda king has no say in the matter when it comes to her life - she doesn’t grow up with many friends that she chooses on her own , but she does have a few that her parents approve of . she doesn’t do much outside of the activities expected of her , but she likes to watch the other kids play & mess around . studying , fencing , praying - it seems like that’s all she knows .

but there’s an instance where her parents are out of town , and zelda’s aunt rachel is the one they ask to babysit . and aunt rachel introduces the young child to a new concept : fun . fun is something that every child should prioritize , according to her , and the week that she is gone does zelda begin to learn what she’s missing out on .

her aunt first takes her on a trip to the park , and from then on zelda is enamored by the outside world she has yet to see up close . her aunt teaches her about flowers & nature and they spend the afternoon trudging through muddy grass and getting themselves dirty with the earth around them , making ‘food’ out of the dandelions and weed , picking wildflowers and braiding them together . the next day , aunt rachel takes zelda to the book store - and she purchases a bunch of books on flora & fauna with bright pictures yet lots of words . as her aunt bakes cookies , zelda points out everything she likes .

bedtime stories consist of stories about gods & goddesses and princesses , knights , monsters . a few of them lead the young child to want to learn more , and back they go to the book store , where aunt rachel gives her books on greek , norse , egyptian mythos and more . as her aunt tends to a bundle of roses on the kitchen table , zelda tells her how cool it’d be to be like athena or freya .

but week-long vacations last for a week and not forever , and as much as zelda wishes it was different , aunt rachel has to leave again . but even as she’s put through her usual activities and rigorous studies once more , she’s found a new love in other things : the world around her , present and past . her parents shut the door on her to go to bed and she pulls out a flashlight , so instead of sleeping , she reads nothing but the books her aunt gave her .

III . BUT I FEEL IT BURNING , LIKE WHEN THE WINTER WIND STOPS MY BREATHING . . . > ( tw : maternal death )

it’s years still of endless pushing & pursuing but here is zelda still immersed in her passions to keep her from falling - as it feels like pillars of expectations are on her shoulders . she’s atlas , but while she holds the sky she thinks of the earth around her & the stories and fairytales and the pain becomes less and less .

of course . . . that does not save her from the pain that comes with a lost loved one .

mrs . king is laid to rest when zelda is seventeen ; the scholarly child is already overcome with grief , and as her father holds her hand while sobbing , they recover together at a slow pace . things are quiet as they calm , but over a few months as zelda tells him of her acceptance into college - he tells her that she must go into law to make her mother proud . it was the woman’s dying wish , after all , and her law firm will be zelda’s when she’s ready .

but . . . that is not what zelda wants . she wants to go into science ; to research and study life around her , and to explore and see more of the wonders beyond alucard . she doesn’t want to be in a stuffy courtroom , she wishes to run around and study the beauty that populates this planet . but when she assigns her major as biology , her father fumes . the only way she can appease him is promising she’ll minor in law , and she does so , but there’s nothing but endless frustration .

she loves her mom , and she wants to respect her mom’s memory - but she should not toss away her own person to do so .

as a college student , zelda sits back and reflects on her past two decades of allowing her parents to shape her into someone they want rather than what she wants to be . only her aunt has allowed her to be her own person , and at this point she realizes that she only know a bit about herself . she hasn’t had much of an opportunity to discover who she is , but she knows what she likes - science & history .

she sits in her college dorm , alone at her desk , thinking to herself about how she’s an adult now ; she is free , and the only thing that can allow her to still cave into what others want is herself . she makes a vow to start moving into the directions she wants ; she has only known herself to be by what others think - the whispers of little miss perfect and the alucard prodigy are common epithets . and she is proud that she’s intelligent , but she’d rather try and make her own path and get to know herself better .

so she promises to discover zelda king , and not the perfect princess , the goody-two-shoes , the next in the bloodline . there is a slumbering power that resides in this person . . . a slumbering power that she’ll unlock by learning who she is .

IV . ARE YOU REALLY GONNA LOVE ME WHEN I’M GONE ??

she still needs to slowly stave from twenty years of people pleasing - baby steps . the expectations she’s under are still heavy and she has yet to figure out how she wants to free herself of them .

she does know a few things : one , she does genuinely love knowledge and learning . scholarly pursuits are her passions , especially those having to do with scientific and historical studies . museums and exhibits are her favorite places as well as botanical gardens and open parks .

two , she doesn’t hate everything her parents have introduced to her . fencing is something she’s still active in ; maybe that’s something that comes with the pride of being a champion , but she doesn’t mind it .

three , she wants to explore not only the world around her , but the people . even people that her father would never allow inside the house - in fact , that only DRAWS zelda to them . she wants to expand her horizons , do away with the perfection reputation she’s gained . she is still . . . new , but she is determined to shake the perception .

her talents are not only known in the social circle of her family - given the fact her father is a local preacher and her mother was a popular & well-trusted lawyer , their prodigy child only had her own reputation . from fencing champion to star student to trilingualist to golden choir child , she’s either loved or hated by those who strictly only know her by her epithets . it’s . . . irritating , to say the least .

she doesn’t believe in religion & law sours her , even though she does as well in the latter as much as she does in biology . she has a natural gift for speaking & presenting , but would rather engage in the environment of the outdoors and the laboratories than the courtroom .

and . . . sometimes it is easy to tell that she is cracking under the stress and pressure she’s been carrying for years . a kind person & an intellectual with gifts , talent , skill - but she still needs to learn it’s okay to breathe . she can let herself breathe now . it’s alright .

some chances to breathe come - such as her job at the florist ; she can spat off a million facts about each flower , each succulent , each plant . she loves the arrangement of bouquets , the look on a young teen’s face as she fixes their corsage . flowers are a gift to the world zelda can’t help but appreciate .

she also loves the library ; still sometimes more focused on books of her passions than her studies . she knows almost every greek , egyptian , norse myth by heart , and has read almost every book on those shelves at least twice .

twenty two years old , genderfluid , pansexual . passionate in all things biology , history , flowers , and mythos . still a lot to discover , but . . . zelda is becoming quite fond of the person she’s finding herself to be . perhaps one of the smartest people in alucard , but certainly with a heart as big as her brain .

and they call me under . . .

there is someone . someone with blood in her mouth , dirt on her cheeks , but herpalms glow with the golden light of the heavens & her veins run with the divine ichor of gods . she looks at zelda from the other side of the mirror with damp & reddened eyes , but as her chin rises with confidence , there’s maybe a smile of COCKINESS and belief that no matter what evil comes towards her , she’s got this . and zelda . . . as confused as she is , leaves the house of mirrors with the same thing . she’s a being of the gods ; ichor flows through her veins and every word from her mouth is from the tongues of the heavens . and there is power that resides in every action , every line spoken . . . she is both blessed & a blessing , and she will do good things here .

#duality.intro #her . it's her . the love of my life . my everything . my joy .#i ... adore her more than anything pls come love her .#there is . an error in that gif that i forgot to fix but it's 3 am and i am tired . so .#and yes the quote is actually from ss zelda bt see it gets me emo so i used it .#░ ★ abt . ❛ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ ᴇᴄʜᴏᴇs ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ʙʀᴇᴀᴛʜᴇ﹐ ·ᴛɪʟ ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ sᴇᴇ ɪs ᴍʏ ɢʜᴏsᴛ / zelda #maternal death tw #parent death tw #death tw

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lxurant · 4 years

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laura harrier. twenty-four. she/her/hers. ／ artemis laurent just pulled up blasting carmen by lana del rey — that song is so them ! you know, for a(n) twenty-four year old model and actress, i’ve heard they’re really intense, but that they make up for it by being so hard working. if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say the smell of a freshly blown out candle, piles of old planners, and long manicured nails. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble !

what’s up kiddos!! it’s ya girl paige (carol’s mun) here with my new baby artemis. sweet girl, but definitely hard to get through im still working out a lot of the KINKS but here she is:

artemis francesca laurant, older half sister to noel, daughter to eva and some one night stand that she doesn’t even remember

from a young age, artemis was like a second mom around the house. she was always looking after noel and trying to help her mom out as best she could

artemis was five when her mother and noel’s father got back together, and that was like the only time in her life she actually got to be a kid and enjoy herself and be a little selfish

she started dance classes around that age, and it was clear she had a talent. she was always dancing around, or singing. she loved performing and dance was her favorite thing

when noel’s father left, artemis was 10, and that was when dance classes stopped because they couldnt afford it

the owner of her dance studio, miss jane, took a liking to artemis from a young age, so when she had to quit for financial reasons, she was given a job at the studio

at first, it was just easy work, but when she got old enough she started teaching dance classes herself

apart from teaching dance, artemis worked as a personal assistant to one of the richer people in their home town of san marcos, as well as attending school

artemis was bright, a very smart student, and also talented. she was in the musicals and did very well in school, all while balancing working and looking out for her brother

speaking of noel, the two were inseparable for their entire lives. it didnt matter that they had different dads, they were the best of friends. artemis did whatever she could to try and give noel the most normal childhood she could

when it came to college, artemis had set her mind on staying home. one day, she got a packet in the mail from julliard offering her a full ride for dance, and she was completely shocked bc she didnt even apply

turned out miss jane sent in an application for her because she thought she had so much talent and didnt want it to be a waste

artemis, however, turned down the full ride because she knew she had to stay home

she went accepted a full ride to texas state, right in san marcos, and was able to attend her classes as well as work as much as seh could

mostly, she wanted to be able to save enough money so that noel could go to whatever school he wanted, and so that their mom could relax a bit

tbh artemis wasn’t fully happy with her life but she knew that she had to support her family, because she loved them

so when noel announced that he and his band were picking up and moving to LA, she was furious

she had given up so much of her life to support her family, she gave up going to the school of her dreams so she could provide for noel and her mom and he was just going to leave them

huge fight, honestly artemis didn’t talk to him for a really long time after that happened because she couldnt understand how selfish he could be

about a year and a half later, noel decided to move them out to LA--while artemis wanted to stay put, their mom insisted they take the opportunity to mend the relationship and lvie a better life

begrudgingly, artemis agreed, and they moved out to LA when she was about 21 years old

at first, she hated it in LA, but after a few months there she was offered some kind of modeling gig. she didn’t think anything would come from it, but it was a victoria’s secret scout, and she soon became a model for the brand

her world turned upside down. she began modeling in magazines, on runways, in the victoria’s secret fashion show.

it was a dream come true

but it wasn’t the dream. so when artemis heard disney was spearheading a high school musical project, she decided to audition

singing and dancing and acting has always been her passion, so given the opprotunity, she wanted to take it

much to her own surprise, artemis was cast in the lead role of nini in high school musical the musical the series

now, artemis is about to start filming the second season of the show, as well as continuing to model and attempting to mend her relationship with her family

random stuff that didnt fit

artemis’s father is white, so she’s mixed

she and hal dated for like 11 months last year, and broke up at the end of november. it was a HEARTBREAK man, they were so in love and the end of their relationship was so sad omg she’s still heartbroken

while she still models, artemis quit working for victoria’s secret a year after working with them--she hated what they stood for, and wanted to model for more inclusive brands (she’s now the face of third love)

she really is a triple threat, shes a great dancer and loves to sing and can act and model

shes left handed

she does a LOT of activism work, she wants to help out underresourced communities and has a lot to say about the election (WARREN FOR PRESIDENT) and the world and stuff

personality

she’s a fun gal, i promise

her exterior is just very hard

she doesnt open up to people very easily, but once she does shes a ball of fun

shes very hard working, which comes from having to work her whole life

shes super passionate about what she does as well as the people she cares about

definitely comes off very queen bee, but shes not selfish or shallow

plots

uh everything

friends she made before becoming famous

friends she made AFTER becoming famous

ppl she met through her noel

people she met through hal

either ex hook ups (before dating hal) or current hook ups

maybe someone that helped her into the business

roommates!! she’s moved out of her mom’s place and roommates are fun

idk enemies?? shes the type

i suck at this

ok yah so that’s all ive really got. artemis is a gem i promise. pls press that like button and ill come for plots!!

#excess:intro

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imahnoorblog-blog · 4 years

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The Rossiter System®: Extending Ida's Teachings to Immediate Relief of Structural Pain

[I. Introduction and Personal History] Though it evolved from my SI practice, the Rossiter System® is not Rolfing® SI. It is a method for targeted relief and prevention of structural pain -- i.e., pain created by overuse, injury, trauma, abuse, or stress -- in which practitioners coach clients to resolve their own pain by restoring normal joint range of motion in space. The techniques employ the client's weight-assisted active vectored stretching of painful tissue in the context of a pre-stressed whole-body fascia net. Structural pain, which usually resides in the connective tissue system, often alters that system to the point where simple massages, chiropractic adjustments, and analgesic medications no longer work. At that point, sufferers seek more drastic measures. Thirty years ago, I was one of them. Refusing to believe it should take months of adjustments or massage to get results, I turned to Rolfing. Like so many clients, I fell in love with it from the first session. By the third session, I had decided to become a RolferTM. As a new Rolfer in 1983, I landed on a strange planet -- Little Rock, Arkansas -- where the inhabitants weren't especially interested in becoming more aligned with their gravitational field. What they wanted was pain relief -- and they demanded immediate results. After I was a Rolfer for a year, I was fortunate enough to begin to work with a neurosurgeon, Dr. Jim J. Moore. He told me if I could fix his back, he’d send people to me. I fixed his back with straight old fashioned Rolfing. We worked together, him sending me clients, for the next 5 years. He sent his “basket cases” to me for Rolfing. He was thrilled, and the basket cases started flocking to my practice. For him, the change was about finally having someone to send people to, who weren’t chiropractors, PT’s, DO’s and massage therapists. He felt he was finally getting results. At one point, I became disillusioned with my results. I spoke to Dr. Moore about this and asked to expand what I was doing. He liked my work and agreed to let me take parts of the Rolfing series and work differently. I was given this opportunity because I’d worked with him for months and months doing straight Rolfing working on people who had the worst of the worst pain problems. But his agreeing to letting me do Rolfing differently, allowed me to enjoy the results we get with Rossiter today. [II. How the Rossiter System Developed] I realized I had to change how I was doing the work. The most important step, turned out to be dismantling the series. The time I spent working with the doctor gave me the freedom to go into untapped and unknown areas of connective tissue work. I took chances. I was looking for better quicker, and more long lasting results. Results to me are about pain resolution, not human evolution. Rather than accepting what I had been taught I wanted to know exactly what each thing I did, created. What made things happen? So from that point on I started creating a database of what each technique I used, did. Part of what was discovered was how people reacted to the results. They disliked the process but when they felt the results, they forgot about the method being difficult. Once they realized how deep the pain actually was they wanted to also get ahead of the pain by returning for preventative care. They began to see the value in staying ahead of the pain. Mostly this was due to the fact that many knew they had to keep doing the same job, chore or play. So rather than getting to a point of needing over the top care, like doctors, missing work, not being able to play, they often decided to use the work as maintenance and prevention as well as recovery. This changes everything. The second step became how involved should the client be in this process? I soon realized two important facts. 1) Without movement nothing happens and 2) Without client involvement, nothing happens. No matter what Rossiter technique you use, those two items were the first two keys to the new process. The Rossiter System addresses just one thing -- pain. Pain is why people show up at my door. NEVER in 30 years of practice has anybody ever asked me to realign them with gravity so that they can evolve more thoroughly. Pain is why we go to doctors, chiropractors, massage therapists, physical therapists, and finally to structural integrators. All because something isn't right in our body and we seek out the answers to our own pain issue. [III. The Rossiter Premises/Setting] Because the source of most structural pain is the connective tissue system and structural integrators have been trained to understand connective tissue more than anyone else, I prefer structural integrators as students of the Rossiter System. But -- the look and feel of Rossiter work is nothing like that of traditional SI. In the field of Structural Integration, Rolfers, KMI, Postural Integration, Soma, and others, it is we who push the envelope of the connective tissue system or fascia. I would go so far as to say we’re better at this than ANYTHING else out there. I could say that we all work in the myofascial network, but I won’t, because I, and a number of others, don’t. I think, work, and create in the fascia and only in the fascia. I know I affect the other areas, but that’s not how I think. So, if the issue is pain, that's our story. We don’t fluff. Rossiter focuses only on the pain. A Rossiter practitioner is a "Coach" -- not a therapist. A Rossiter Coach does not cure or rehabilitate anyone. Instead, Therapists and therapy implies it’s own name. (Therapy: treatment of physical, mental, or behavioral problems that is meant to cure or rehabilitate somebody. Or, Treatment: a remedy, procedure, or technique for curing or alleviating a disease, injury, or condition) As Rossiter Coaches, we provide the guidance to the unwinding of the cause rather than how things happened. How they unwind may be totally different from how it went in. Finding all the tie ins to their issue is one key. By re-linking everything to each other, we re-create the originally designed body A Rossiter Coach does not necessarily understand how the techniques work, but that understanding is largely irrelevant to relieving pain. What is important in the beginning, is getting your client to do what you tell/ask them to do. Not every client is willing to do this at first. However, as soon as they realize they’ve just completed two or three moves and suddenly the pain is half gone or gone from what it was two minutes ago, they tend to listen to the coach after that. Or, they don’t come back. Using Your Feet, and Their Brain To contact their clients, Rossiter Coaches use their feet instead of their hands. I started using my feet 24 years ago. How I learned to use my feet was a complete accident. Now, I only teach using my feet. Most Rolfers who study with me, simply put the work back on the table. This is fine, your results will be better than before but you pay the price with your body and the results still aren’t nearly as good as doing it on the floor. The theory behind Rossiter is as important as the technique. Connective tissue works like breathing, no matter what we know, it knows more. That includes being able to recover itself from injury and abuse. The results for clients -- or PICs (Persons In Charge), as they are called in Rossiter -- is produced in their connective tissue. You get the results you want, by making the client do the work. If YOU do the work, the work stays in the room with you. It doesn’t leave the room with them. If the PIC does the work, the power of doing it themselves stays with them. Their work stays with them. Your Client, the Smartest Person in the Room Keep in mind, the smartest person in the room about the client’s body is the client, and always will be. As the Coach, your job is to do just that, you coach. Coaches control the environment, the room, the floor, the field. If they don’t control the room, they’re fired. Gone. Players cannot control the plays, the field, the room, or the COACH. In Rossiter, you, the Rolfer, are the Coach, period. The Coach cannot and does not control the PIC, the player, or person who comes to them in pain. What the coach can and should do, is inspire the PIC, the person in pain, to work their hardest to get themselves out of pain. But it’s the PIC who must do the work. Yelling and cheering are valid in making a person reach out of their comfort zone to achieve better or even the best results possible. it really does work to push a person further then they thought they were capable. A well placed yell of encouragement at a difficult moment can make all the difference in a session, or workout, as it’s called in Rossiter. It’s called a Workout because everybody who’s ever done Rossiter says that’s exactly how it feels. To ‘help’ a person get out of pain. First, you must show them how, and then give them the tools. Then get out of their way. [IV. Key Components of Rossiter Technique] TDMP, Time, Dimension [????], Movement, and Power Theory [Richard: We need an opening line or two, identifying the 4 elements and suggesting how they relate to the work. Just a few lines for some kind of transition/continuity.] Time is simply the first element in creating a fully recovered body issue. Unlike other modalities, Rossiter pushes the time to minimum amounts. Not days, weeks and months to recover but seconds, minutes and hours to recover. By taking people into their pain we push them to recover, not later, but almost immediately. Chronic pain doesn’t need time to recover, it requires condensed effort in a short time by the PIC. Dimension is about recreating the original areas of designed space the PIC had before the pain, the accident the trauma. The PIC must find the missing areas of movement. Movement is making the client do the work while under the weight of the Coach. This irons or takes out the wrinkles created by the original problem. Movement is concise and targeted. Power or weight determines the speed of the recovery. Time This is the dimension we are most familiar with daily. It looks constant to us. Time has it's own feeling of movement. If we're happy and playing in some activity it seems to pass quickly. If we are in the throes of somebody’s death or working at a job we hate, time seems to drag by with no end in site. Overall, it’s perceived as a smooth movement of time over our lives, including the immeasurable speeding of it, as we grow older. So time, ever present, surrounds us. In Rossiter, that time is about spending it wisely. When a technique is started do you want to move too fast???? Bad choice. Do you want to stop quickly? Another bad choice. The right choice is about getting involved in the process, not the ending. That means direct participation by the PIC. PIC movement is slow and deliberate. IF you speed through an area you may miss what’s important to relive, and therefore relieve. If you (PIC) miss an area that you know you’re supposed to go through, your Coach should catch you and make you return to that area you avoided. That’s a Coach’s job. Miss something? Go back and get it. Dimension We live and move in 3 spatial dimensions. We can slap our arm, poke a friend, or walk away. We live in these outward dimensions. We raise our arm, walk, work and play in 3D. When we start doing Rossiter, we use a testing system of Points & Dots as a way to visit an area to see how well we handle the pain the area. If we want to push the envelope of HOW we move, then we move through more powerful movements. All are categorized by how the PIC responds to the movements. All are always, slow and deliberate, but then the coach pushes the PIC into new areas of and including all the space we want to occupy and reclaim. This is where Locking comes in. Locking is the outward push of ourselves to stretch not only the immediate area being worked on, but the rest of the body in it’s entirety, while the work is going on. That means stretching the rest of the body AWAY from the area being worked. So the lock creates an even bigger stretch that literally unlocks the area from the other side that has been shut down and painful. By stretching from the inside every fiber of our being while being stretched from the outside (a foot in place), we push the CT matrix beyond its current boundaries. Doing this from multiple points on the body, internally restores the originally designed body if two more parts are included in the process. This pattern the body has developed over the years, months, weeks that created the pain needs to be stretched internally. By pushing the envelope of connective tissue to its outermost region, while you are stepping on them, you are essentially ironing the CTS from the inside out. It’s got wrinkles from living and by making the person stretch absolutely everything they have access to, you are reestablishing the original space that person had before, and now, has again. By moving in multiple dimensions while pinned and locked, produces incredible results, immediately. Movement The movement in all dimensions through time re-creates lost space. The caveat is, if your client doesn’t move or reach, you don’t recreate the space. By making them participate with Locking, the other areas of the body, you push each stretch into the whole body. IF you don’t do the locking, the body re-imposes it’s “bent-ness” back into the area you’ve just worked. If you are working in 10% of the body, don’t you think the other 90% will re-impose its authority on 10%. If they don’t participate, the work simply doesn’t stick. When we first start with a person we give them smaller bites to chew on, while also making them push their limits as soon as possible. Reaching for a point is simple, but it may not be easy the first time. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. Some people understand and feel reaching out or stretching in as little as three times. We do this test stretching with our hand, leg or whatever we're working on. That is the Points and Dots, reach out then relax, do it again. Whatever we stretch, wherever we stretch, if we stretch it hard enough, it will be painful. We stretch our fingers out to feel what it feels like at the end of the stretch. "Can I handle this stretch or more, if it were sustained? Sustained for how long? What' s my limit? It doesn’t take long to see whether a person is serious about getting out of pain with Rossiter. Some people are always testing, while others rarely test themselves. If we like the feeling in our arm or leg AFTER the test, we usually will continue the stretching. Each new movement we push the PIC through recreates a movement they needed to regain the correct order to take out the dent or “bent-ness”. Movement in multiple dimensions must recreate the movement that is normal and natural to that area of the body. Power The last part of this whole process is Power. You maximize the stretch of each and every part of the connective tissue in any area by adding weight to the body. I remember the thought process I had as a beginning Rolfer. I knew I had to push him that way because that’s the way he needed to be pushed. Now, after all these years, to me that was pompous! If you can deliver pure energy in the form of weight to a PIC’s body, wouldn’t the body know more about what IT needed to do with that energy? I gave up trying to put things anywhere and just gave the body the energy the PIC was willing to invest in the situation for their own recovery. This created Power, the amount of weight to be delivered was simple. Ask them to take as much as they can and still be able to move the full distance you ask them to go. No more, no less. These 4 things together create the most powerful results you can ever expect to get. This means to get the maximum results, the Coach or practitioner should use only the weight of their own body. If you are small, wear a weight belt. Never push, if possible. the more engaged the PIC is, through their own tension, will again amp up the results. By delivering simple weight or energy to a problem, the PIC's body inherently will know what it needs and move accordingly. If the problem is the connective tissue, then the problem will almost immediately start to resolve itself. How do know if this is the solution? Ask them if the pain went away. [V. Applications and Relationship to SI] The Rossiter System is not Rolfing SI. It is, however, a body of work derived from my training and experience as a Rolfer. It enlists the traditional ideas of (i) working with the whole fascial net; (ii) using gravity (i.e., weight and the client's sense of it); and (iii) tapping into the client's capacity to self-organize. (yes) This is TDMP, it's everything in Quantum Pain Relief®, PainSlayer® and PainSlayer Series, and the Rossiter System® that makes it all happen. Each is designed for what it is YOU want to do with the stretches. So to do all of this, we’ve created systems of bringing people up through a series of powerful stretches. Do you want a strict pain practice? Do you want to go into companies and help them get their employees out of pain? Do you want to become an extreme player in the preventative athletic pain game where instead of removing the pain you are now preventing pain through the PainSlayer Series? There are solutions for every area you may want to use them in. All have the same base of information. All deal with the pain NEED SOME KIND OF CONCLUSION -- ??

https://rossitermasters.com/blog-post/the-rossiter-system-extending-idas-teachings-to-immediate-relief-of-structural-pain/5

#pain #pain management #pain relief #stretching

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tealeaves-rp · 6 years

Photo

Mod Sample Application for Narcissa Black

II. CHARACTER STATS:

NAME: Narcissa “Cissy” Elizabeth Black BIRTHDATE/AGE: November 24, aged 22 years

GENDER IDENTITY & PRONOUNS: cis-female; she/her pronouns

WAND:

Ebony, Dragon Heartstring, nine and a half inches. Many old, upper class families like the Blacks keep a wand or two around the house (no where that people might see them, of course!) just in case – because most old, upper class families like the Blacks have produced a wix or two over the years, even if most of those cases were hushed-up so well that even immediate relatives might not know about it. But there are usually one or two tucked away in an attic, or locked in an old cupboard, or buried in the back of mother’s dressing table…and for most of her life, that was all the wand that Narcissa ever thought to need. It was enough to practice with; enough with which to play around with her magic and her sisters. (Sometimes they would even take one with them when they went out on their illicit activities; some neighborhoods feel a lot safer when you have a few tricks up your sleeve.) It wasn’t until she got involved in the wix rights movement that Narcissa decided she wanted a wand all her own…and she knew just where to get one, too: Ollivander’s Instruments. The old man who ran the shoppe was a burr in everyone’s sides, both in the movement and outside it, but two things were certain: he knew his craft and he never, ever revealed a customer. Knowing that her secret would be safe with old Ollivander, Narcissa gritted her teeth and listened to his lecture about wandcraft…and then, because she knew she always deserved the best, she let him talk her into buying a “proper” wand – even though she’s pretty sure that Ollivander is full of it and the only difference between a secondhand wand and a “tailored” wand is the price tag! Still, she has to admit that this one does feel a little nicer in her hand than the old sticks the family keeps tucked away for emergencies…but that’s probably just because it was more recently polished and she is so very fond of pretty things!

III. DESIRED CHANGES (if none, leave blank):

IV. CHARACTERIZATION DETAILS:

SOCIAL POSITION:

An idle heiress of the upper class, Narcissa comes from wealth and privilege and comfort. Her family has enough money and influence that she rarely has to face real consequences for anything. As the youngest sister, she has less personal clout than either Bellatrix or Andromeda – but as the sole unmarried daughter of the Black family (now that her cousin has so tragically vanished) she holds a great deal of potential interest to the world, especially to anyone with a child of suitable age and status…and a tolerance for “exotic” beauties (and oh, she’s heard some interesting compliments due to that “exoticness” – but it wasn’t until she started venturing outside the comfortable confines of her sheltered social sphere that she understood there could be malice behind those backhanded compliments, because people who aren’t impressed by her last name and the associated bank accounts don’t hold back in expressing themselves) but these days that’s just about everyone of note – particularly when said beauty comes with an attachment to as lucrative a company as Tibicena Shipping to weight their social scales.

EDUCATION:

Tutors were hired for them, of course. Delicate (well…ostensibly delicate) young ladies such as Narcissa, Andromeda, and Bellatrix could not be sent away to school…but they were taught important things like fashion, grammar, comportment, posture, arithmetic, dance, and even a smattering of literature and history (largely according to their own inclinations), and in Narcissa’s case at least, the harpsichord. It was a rather standard education for girls of their class…except for the addition of a few private magic lessons. Contrary to the way many upper class families react to the idea of wixen children, Narcissa was never made to feel ashamed of her gifts; in fact she was chosen for them. (She was still taught the importance of hiding them, of course; her parents weren’t idiots and there’s a wide line between drawing entertainment from social taboos and committing social suicide!) Druella thought it would be charming to have wixen daughters and she adopted them from Hogwarts Orphanage with that exact plan in mind; as such, Cissy and her sisters actually received a bit of proper (and properly discrete) schooling in their magic…which mainly consisted of their mother hiring them a Tea Maven to teach them the basics, a wand-tutor to show them a few party tricks, and encouragement to practice little bits of illusion or performative magic with one another so that she could have them put on little shows for those friends who could be trusted both to keep their mouth shut about magic and to enjoy a bit of wixen frippery after a dinner party. That wasn’t all the sisters learned, of course…because they were curious, troublesome girls (especially Bella) and it was little hardship for one sister to lead the others into areas of bad influence, like reading old books about hexes, or giggling together over poison recipes and hair tonics, or even practicing the odd little jinx on one another – but that wasn’t part of their proper education; that was just girls being girls… NOTE: I am happy to adjust this as needed to mesh with any contradictory backgrounds put forth by an Andromeda player!

DAILY GRIND:

As an heiress, Narcissa has no need for a job – but she does have certain duties inherent to that position. To whit, she must have the family’s best interests (business and social) in mind at all times; for her, socializing is a responsibility not a lark. The seemingly-frivolous round of visits and parties, the demands of fashion, the constant flow of rumors and gossip; all those things are in fact serious matters on which the family fortune and future might well depend. True, no one is going to give Tibicena Shipping a contract to carry goods just because the owner of a certain factory liked the way Narcissa wore her hat on Tuesday…but the right exchange of compliments can start the connection that eventually leads to such a contract. That’s how business gets done more often than not, and Narcissa knows her role in that business. She was brought-up to “cultivate influential relationships” more than to make friends; fortunately as a gregarious (and nosy) child she always enjoyed that duty and was a credit to her mother’s training…until recently. Now while Cissy still does her part to chatter amiably over a pot of tea or around a drawing room table, she also engages in louder and more vulgar activities: namely, political activism. Her “cause célèbre” is wixen rights – a cause near-and-dear to her heart, because she and her sisters are all wix themselves, although that is a detail she has not seen fit to share even with her new allies; it would be a scandal of enormous proportions were the story to come out, and Cissy might be a bit radical but she isn’t stupid. She knows where to draw the lines of propriety…and when to stick her toe over that line and cause a scene.

THE TEA:

The Traditional Blend: once Narcissa’s customary drink, this combination of earl grey, lavender, wigentree bark, and vanilla with a sprig of vervain is a fortifying or restorative blend and is at its most effective when drunk straight, but was usually consumed with some cream or milk and sugar for sweetening. The family considered it a good afternoon tea, to restore one’s energy from the trials of the morning and to fortify them for the evening’s efforts…but when brewed properly (especially with a wix at the kettle) in addition to its strengthening properties it also casts a mild protective and purifying charm on the drinker. It is considered an integral drink before any serious business ventures – and before any stressful and important social situations.

The New Fad: after being introduced to the basics of this blend by her new political friends, Narcissa has adopted it as her favored drink – after a little tinkering to improve its effects. This Fukamushi Sencha green tea is supplemented with honey, cinnamon, and raw ginger for a spicy, invigorating burst of energy and warmth. The puffapod petals add an extra dose of vigor to the drink, and Narcissa is convinced that they furthermore have a preservative effect on one’s youth (although that may just be wishful thinking). Her mother thinks it is too spicy, exotic, and vulgar a tea to serve to polite (especially older and conservative) company – but that doesn’t always stop Narcissa from pouring it, especially when she wants to broaden tiny minds or make a particularly sharp point. As for her outside social activities, for protests on cold days she likes to bring along an insulated thermos or three to share with her fellow revolutionaries…and as of now, they tend to be few enough in number that this provides plenty for all to share.

GOALS:

ONE: Narcissa at this point is young, romantic, and idealistic; I thus think that it would be quite entertaining to throw her in and out of several crushes (despite my usual low interest in shipping). Overdramatic, fleeting, rose-colored, and frivolous, her romantic follies ought to be amusing for all to watch. The fact that there is (as of yet) no Lucius in this game also makes that a particularly interesting prospect because her “usual ship” is completely absent. “Lucissa” is one of the few ships in Potterverse that I actually care about, true – but exploring entirely disparate possibilities, particularly in such a non-canon world as this, sounds like quite a lot of fun, especially with a flighty Narcissa like this. TWO: The driving goal in Narcissa’s life, of course, is wix rights – although she’s hardly an expert in the field of political activity. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t think she knows exactly what she’s doing (she is a Black, of course!) and that she expects that, now that she is involved, it will all be resolved quite promptly (unlikely) and without much difficulty (likewise unlikely). This should offer lots of entertaining possibilities, from the judicially comedic as Cissy brushes up against the law from her privileged and insulated position to the personally awkward as she tries both to further the cause among her social circle and to integrate herself among the lower classes who, if she is lucky, will find her more charming than condescending. (Maybe 50/50 odds on that one.)

V. CHARACTER INTRODUCTION:

Narcissa leaned over for one last glimpse in the mirror, checking for stray curls (none, of course) and smoothing her skirts (unnecessarily) before she headed into the drawing room in a rustle of coral silks and cream colored ribbons. “Good afternoon mum, auntie,” she gushed, gracing both of them with a beaming smile as she bustled over to the tea set. The neat heels of her white leather boots clicked sharply on the floor, sounding loud against the silence. From the flow of ice wedged between the settee on which Walburga Black was perched and the armchair on which Druella Black was sitting, frosting the warm afternoon sunlight, Cissy could tell that their conversation had been going just about as well as it usually did whenever the subject of Tribicena Shipping was addressed by the family matriarchs. Pretending that she had noticed nothing, Narcissa spooned out a pile of rich black leaves into the strainer and filled the teapot with the hot water simmering in its kettle over the fireplace. She added a finger-pinch of flower petals and turned the tea timer for three and a half minutes of steeping time, then settled herself–delicately spreading her skirts over her knees so as not to rumple them–on the side couch. “It’s been lovely weather this week, hasn’t it? I hope it holds for this Friday–” Her mother’s stiff shoulders went stiffer and her head shot up, her black eyes flashing as they fastened on Narcissa’s. Druella’s lips went so thin they nearly vanished into her face and she shook her head back and forth, three minute little twitches, the warning clear. Narcissa looked back at her with a cheery smile then turned and looked straight at her aunt, hardly pausing at her mother’s wordless reprimand before saying, “We have a little rally Friday afternoon, you know, and it’ll be much nicer if the weather is clear for it.” Walburga’s face settled into a heavy frown, but her usual determined avoidance of all conversation related to Narcissa’s political activities took a backseat to her desire to needle Druella, so instead of changing the subject she said, “A rally?” Narcissa’s smile widened in direct contrast to her mother’s tightening frown and she said brightly, “Oh yes! Right outside the Old Bailey, so it’ll be delightfully visible.” She paused to pour the first cup of tea, handing it to her aunt as was polite, her being the guest; she turned back and added breezily, “I think that will make a lovely backdrop for all the photographs.” “Photographs?” Walburga asked, teacup stopped halfway to her lips. Narcissa fluttered her eyelashes while her mother silently steamed in the corner. “Oh yes,” she said, “there ought to be loads, since I’ve telegraphed all the papers!” Walburga choked on her tea. Narcissa beamed. “Sugar?” she asked.

VI. MUN BACKGROUND QUESTIONS:

What is your ideal game?

I tend to prefer canon-heavy divergence AUs, Trio slightly more than Marauders, especially those with a darker or more serious sort of drama – so this is not my usual “cup of tea” so to speak (I’m sorry) and I am thus looking forward to trying something outside my usual milieu.

What is your least favorite part of this game?

This isn’t so much a complaint and it’s rather off topic, but I think it would be very interesting to see a setting like this applied to a Trio Era Game particularly since AUs like this appear so rarely in Trio.

I chose this character because…

I love the Malfoys and I love rebels. Put those two together into one, and you’ve got a perfect character for me: absurd, stubborn, ignorant, clever, confident, shallow, melodramatic, dangerous, idealistic, and utterly ridiculous.

#harry potter rp #lsrp #literate rp #bio rp #marauders rp #narcissa black #accepted #sample #narcissa black bio #TeaAccept

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cosmosogler · 7 years

Text

hnnnnnnnnnnnghhhhhhhhhhhh

i woke up on time but i didn’t want to do anything so i ended up getting out of the shower late. and then eating breakfast late. i was hungry, and i knew i had to teach for four hours straight, so i made four waffles instead of two. and a pbj, and the rest of my lunch, in the last 5 minutes before i left instead of like 15.

i biked to campus pretty fast... i got to class 1 minute before it started. i did my lecture and stuff and tried to be a lot more active with the matter model.

they asked another question that stumped me and i’m embarrassed because my notes were wrong too and i had to correct them when i figured it out. i’m embarrassed because it’s a basic physics newton’s laws sort of thing.

i was hung up on why the force on the sensor and the frictional force are always equal even when the block the sensor is attached to is accelerating. i looked up the horse and cart problem and understood it way better... two hours after the students had asked and the new section had started.

it really rustles my jimmies that i can’t make the three sections of exactly equal quality. i feel like i let my students down when i can’t very well explain a concept to them specifically, but i can to the next group!!!

suzanne mentioned today that she has a lot of trouble with basic stuff too, along with jennica, just because we haven’t taken the classes in forever. i did apologize to the students while trying to answer the question- i said i’d been working with energy for so long that forces didn’t really mean anything any more. we don’t even work with any numbers in class basically.

i was so exhausted afterward but i only had a five minute lunch break to shove the entire pbj in my mouth before i had to head over for my psychiatry appointment. i let the doctor prompt me on which information she wanted, but i did have a list of things to talk about in my life in chronological order to keep me on topic. i think it was a productive meeting since i kept it kind of, more organized than if i was just rambling about my childhood for an hour and a half, you know?

she raised her eyebrows a couple times... especially at the stuff leading up to and just after my heart surgery. i don’t know if i’m too focused on the negatives or what but i really just remember having a pretty bad time social life wise.

i know one family did come to visit me in the hospital- actually it was a student i didn’t spend a lot of time with. joey. he and his family came to bring me a card and hang out in the common area for a few minutes to see how i was doing. i was hooked up to my iv and i think i had just gotten the drainage tube out so i was on some strong painkillers. mom must have been talking to them. i fell asleep in the wheelchair.

it was too much i guess. the painkillers on top of the effort of keeping up with a conversation while my insides were still putting themselves back in place after getting a garden hose yanked out of my entire chest cavity.

i guess some people care more than they let on. and some people care less. he didn’t really do much to help me out with the bullying that doubled down after i got back. i still reflexively punch people that try to tickle or touch my nerve-damaged side. maybe his parents were more worried than he was. i dunno. it was 15 years ago.

now that i think about it... what the doctor said i should have had, at the hospital and going back to school afterward... i’m really upset. at the time i’d blinked and smiled and said “none of that ever occurred to me.”

but now i’m really sad. knowing what i didn’t have that should have been provided, i guess. i told her the hospital really was very busy, and that my parents were basically always around so they must have thought i was covered. and i had no idea the school was supposed to, i guess, assign some kind of buddy to make sure i could get around okay?

i’ve already talked about the wheelchair.

near the end she said “it sounds like no one’s really been there to support you.” i said “yes.” and showed her my teeth. it wasn’t really a smile. i think she could tell though. wasn’t foolin no one.

she made sure my meds were refilled for the next month. i talked about my grandparents too. on glenn’s side. how nice they were to me. i can’t say how they treated everyone, or even glenn and my uncle don, but the people who attended grandma pearl’s funeral had only the most glowing, actually kind of really sincerely fond memories.

uncle don seems to have had a complicated relationship with his parents. but he loved them enough to take care of them for a very long time after they got old. glenn didn’t. i don’t think i should ask what happened. i know parenting is hard and there’s probably not a perfect way to do it. but there’s... functional ways to do it. and i hope that they were functional parents.

anyway i caught the bus back to the physics building and had sooo much trouble sitting down to actually study. i didn’t want to open anything or even get out my notebook to try some practice problems. i sent danielle at the drc a semi-long email about my academic progress, since i had that midterm on tuesday, and some concerns about the upcoming friday test.

after that i strongarmed jennica into getting dinner with me. we went to subway. she didn’t actually want anything but i figured some exercise might help her settle down, and also it gave suzanne a small break. entropy can get contagious and jennica had been stopping her to look at this or that dress for several minutes. and i appreciated the company. going to subway alone when i’m so exhausted is super awkward. at least with jennica there if i couldn’t make a decision quickly enough i could smile apologetically at the lady behind the counter and say “sorry, i’m hella tired.” and jennica would laugh and the moment would continue.

it ended up not helping jennica that much but it did help me to get some food.

i think this was after i realized mom never put the 900 dollars back into my bank account. i talked seriously with jennica and taylor about some bank options and how to switch my direct deposit and stuff. they said it’s super easy. i asked one of them to go with me on saturday to make sure i get a good deal. taylor said that wouldn’t be a risk but jennica told me a couple things to watch out for and i think she also agreed to go with me but i’m not 100% sure on that.

anyway, after i ate i was in a much better mood. not a good mood, but a less bad one. i did finally get out my notebook and start... actually taking notes on the textbook. i didn’t get very far at all- i was interrupted- but i felt like it was working for me a little bit. i was trying to take the equations, and finding the main ideas for how we interpret those equations, and then writing that down in my own words. it’s been four hours and i still remember the difference between poisson’s equation and laplace’s equation- even though laplace is just a special case of poisson. i think, if i can identify the most important ideas behind the main equations given in the text, i can write that down and that will help me remember what the hell green’s theorem is or whatever next time it comes up on a test.

i also tried something new after i was interrupted. suzanne had gone to talk about the class with one of the undergrads in the same section and he allowed me to sit in on the session while we worked through practice problems covered in class.

suzanne made it so much easier though.

the new thing i tried is that i tried to basically repeat what suzanne was saying but in my own words. and i asked questions about what each variable *was*. and if i felt i didn’t understand it well enough i said it again a different way.

i couldn’t tell if it was slowing her and john down or not. i tried to pull back on the goofs at least. i also talked to john a little bit just trying to identify what it is about the professor’s lectures that has me so lost. and i figured it out!

he takes these practice problems from the book but then generalizes them to include all cases. this turns his math into monstrous entire-blackboard-spanning messes of variables and summations. and he skips important logic steps so it looks even more like a wall of chalk.

suzanne walked us through the simplest cases and then explained how some parts could be expanded to account for harder scenarios. i found that SUPER helpful because it let me point out myself where something could be made more complicated.

i have a lot of trouble with lectures, but conversations are so much easier. i don’t necessarily remember exact words or phrases but the idea sticks with me a little better. maybe it’s an active listening thing? or a participation thing. i had a good time in discussion-based classes back at villanova too.

i like john though. i hope he likes me enough to let me intrude on his tutoring time again. i felt bad that i was explaining really basic concepts- not to him, but to myself. but he seemed to react as if i was kind of, splainin at him about how image charges worked.

really it was because i had to remind myself a couple times that they are not actual charges that appear in a grounded plane as a response to a real charge. they are a math thing we use because it’s convenient.

hopefully that helps tomorrow on the test! i think the discussions are starting to help a little more... now that i’m getting less anxious about not getting stuff right away. i mean taylor and jennica give me Looks, sometimes, when i ask for a definition i should probably know by now. i get turned around by the notation kind of easily though, especially when i’m trying to identify the point where i stopped understanding the question. but if Looks are the worst they can do, well, i’ve had worse happen. in this department! with the e&m professor.

in the conservatory, with a knife.

dated jokes are the best.

anyway i think that is also going to be my good thing about myself for today because i am already running kind of late since mom called and wanted to chat for 10 minutes while i was trying to write. i got my test tomorrow. so i will try to rest now.

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rudderless-in-an-ocean-of-stars · 7 years

Text

in your eyes (i find my salvation), chapter four

Find it on Ao3 here:

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11225808/chapters/25083762

iv. we’ll drown together in this sea of sorrows (no one ever taught us how to swim)

Lucy Lane does what she does to protect people.

It’s what she has always done, what she has been raised to do, the one thing she learns from her father that she doesn’t wish she could scrub from her brain.

This We’ll Defend.

It’s the army motto, and by the time she’s old enough to talk, she’s heard it enough to have committed it to memory.

(So what if no one defends her from the toe of her father’s boot or the back of his hand? She’ll learn to defend herself- and everyone else- when she’s older.)

She grows up in the shadow of her sister- pretty, perfect Lois.

(Lois will never know the way it feels to be hit by a parent, to pick herself off of the ground tasting blood in her mouth from the weight of their father’s fist.)

Model student, model daughter, model everything.

Lois’ mother, their father’s first wife, died in childbirth.

Lucy’s mother took off before she was even a month old, dropping her daughter off on the doorstep of the man she’d spent a single night with nine months ago and fleeing back to her native Dominican Republic.

It was hard enough taking second place to her older sister in their father’s heart, but harder still to grow up as the sole mixed-race child in a white neighborhood.

She doesn’t know much about her mother, aside from the fact that she was of Lebanese-Dominican descent and the source of most of Lucy’s looks.

Oh, sure, Lois had gotten her fair share of teasing for having a half-sister who looked nothing like her, but Lucy was the one who actually had to face the reality that most of her peers thought her less simply by virtue of her heritage.

She fights tooth and nail to make a name for herself that isn’t Lane.

Lucy skips a grade, joins activities like debate club and Model U.N., signs up for track & field in the winter and lacrosse in the spring, and fills the rest of her time volunteering around the community.

People begin to call her an overachiever.

(So what if the real reason she has so many extracurriculars is so that she can avoid going home? What happens behind closed doors is nothing they’ll ever know.)

She snaps at anyone who dares to call her ‘little Lane’ and hones her claws until people get the message that she isn’t someone to be trifled with.

By the time Lucy enters high school, she’s already a prime candidate for the National Honors Society.

Four years later, she graduates valedictorian, breezing through her AP classes and ending her senior year with a 4.8 GPA.

When they call her to the stage, it’s no longer under the shadow of her older sister’s accomplishments.

(So what if she has to spend three hours covering up the bruises that her father’s latest drunken rampage has left her with? Lucy’s always had a knack for makeup anyway.)

She ends up graduating from West Point with a Bachelor’s Degree in Science in a single year as opposed to four, thanks to those A.P. courses and summer programs she took. At nineteen years of age, she just might be the youngest person to leave West Point for reasons other than expulsion.

From there, she’s commissioned as a second lieutenant in the Army with five years of service ahead of her. She works hard, gets her J.D and LL.M degrees through accelerated online courses as she rises through the ranks, because even if she doesn’t believe in her father, she believes in the one good thing he managed to teach her.

This We’ll Defend.

Lucy passes the bar exam with flying colors and becomes one of the youngest JAG Officers the Army’s ever seen at the age of twenty-two, three years into her five-year contract with the military.

She’s stationed stateside at this point, the legal attaché of her father’s staff, living on the army base just outside Metropolis.

This is no coincidence- Sam Lane’s personal vendetta against a certain Kryptonian means that as long as she’s part of her father’s team, she’ll likely spend all of her active duty waiting for Superman to step out of line.

This is how she meets James Olsen.

(She’s twenty-four and full of fire and he’s the first person who doesn’t mind the fact that she’s made of steel and flames.)

Like every other good thing in her life, it ends with the aid of her always well-meaning sister, and she requests a transfer out of her father’s unit so she can spend the next four years buried in the depths of the military, hoping that James everyone will stop looking and finally write her off as lost.

She’d only signed a five-year contract for active duty, but military service means a minimum of eight years, and gladly agrees to spend the three years she could be in the inactive reserves (I.R.R.) in the field where she belongs. The Army lets her, partly because she’s Sam Lane’s daughter, but mostly because she’s one of the best damn officers they’ve ever seen.

Lucy spends those years in places that are hot and dusty and full of I.E.D.s and by the time she returns to the states and moves to National City, she’s earned the rank of ‘major’ and enough scars to last her a lifetime.

Now she’s twenty-eight, one year out of service and a member of the group they’ve affectionately nicknamed the ‘SuperSquad’, utilizing her law degrees as the head of Legal Affairs at CatCo, and there’s nowhere else she thinks she’ll ever want to be.

She’s still as fucked up and broken as ever, but she has found herself a home in this city, in these people, and she’ll be damned if she ever gives it up.

There are times when she looks in the mirror and can barely stand the fact that she’s missing so many pieces of herself, but she’d lost most of those pieces long ago, before James and before the Army, so it’s a burden whose weight she’s used to carrying.

No one else in her newfound family is exactly whole either, so she knows they’ll never mind.

Lucy Lane does what she does to protect people.

Especially the people she loves.

So when she goes to Lena Luthor’s office and tells her to keep her distance, she reminds herself that it’s all to keep Kara safe as she tries not to cry at the sight of the other woman’s face when it crumples at her words.

(She’s sure that her own face might have once mirrored Lena’s, during the early days of her youth, when the concept of abuse was still new to her and she hadn’t yet learned how to hide her emotions away.

It proves to be an exercise in futility, in the end.

No matter how deep she managed to bury her emotions from the world, she never could quite manage to do it well enough so that she would be as unfeeling as she made herself seem.)

Afterwards, she does her best to drink herself into oblivion because she still hurt someone, and even if it was to protect another person, the pain she’s caused is still another tally mark in her ledger.

It’s for this very same reason that on military holidays, or whenever she gets congratulated for her time in the Army, she goes out and downs a shot for every life she ever took overseas.

May will always be a very rough month for her.

Surprisingly, she’s only ever gotten blackout drunk on one spectacular occasion- her first Memorial Day in National City.

To this day, Lucy doesn’t think she’s ever seen James as angry as he had been, then.

She’d managed to keep a lid on her drinking for the first few months after her discharge, or, at the very least, make sure James wasn’t aware of the full extent of her nighttime habits, but Memorial Day had fucked that up on an epic scale.

Now, she finds him waiting up for her more often that she doesn’t.

Which is why he’s currently having a one-sided staring contest with her as she guzzles down a glass of water for the headache she knows she’ll have tomorrow if she doesn’t hydrate.

“Nothing’s wrong,” she says, but they both know it’s a lie and the words leave a bitter taste in her mouth that all the water in her glass can’t wash away.

Just like blood, she thinks, and something beneath her ribs gives a painful little twinge at the thought.

“Lucy, please.” He’s pleading now, and she’s just so, so tired-

“I feel like my father,” she confesses lowly, lets the words slide out in a whisper nearly as broken as she is, leaning heavily on the edge of the marble countertop that stands between them. “I don’t want to be like my father-”

Her throat closes up around the words she longs to say and she shatters right then and there, ten at night and in the kitchen of apartment they share, the home they’ve tried to build for themselves.

She shatters-

Please don’t let me be him.

-but, as always-

Never, Lucy, never. You are nothing like him.

-he’s there to put her back together again.

(And that, that is why Lucy Lane will never stop loving James Olsen.

He is the first person to see her for what is, not who she pretends to be, the first to not shy away from the fact that she’s far from perfect, and that ‘normal’ is something she’ll never be.)

For the first decade of his life, Winslow Schott Jr. is proud to bear his father’s name.

Until his father kills six people with a bomb disguised as a teddy bear, and he finds himself being sent to live with his distant relatives just after Christmas, the holiday he will quickly grow to hate because of the massacre he will never be allowed to forget.

He drops the ‘Jr.’ then, shortens ‘Winslow’ to ‘Winn’ and tries to pretend like he’s never been called anything else.

His eleventh birthday passes, and he lets the date slide by without reminding anyone because he has court to attend next week and he doesn’t have the stomach to celebrate anything, let alone the day he was born to a man who would become a killer.

He discovers the wonders of alcohol in high school, when one of his friends throws him an unwanted party for turning sixteen. He spends every birthday after that somewhere dimly lit and vaguely warm, where he tries his best to replace all the blood in his veins with alcohol so that he wouldn’t have to be related to the man who murdered with such terrible, terrible ease.

The years pass, and Winn is careful to keep himself in check- he’s never been quick to anger, but then again, neither had his father, and the man had gone on to massacre six people with a bomb hidden inside a teddy bear, of all things.

Even feeling the vaguest hint of irritation is enough to fill his veins with a paralyzing fear that this is it, that he is going to snap and go down the same dark path as his father.

So he does his best to stay calm, stay sane, no matter what.

Bullies tear his homework out of his hands, and he doesn’t allow himself to do anything but walk away.

A teacher accuses him of cheating when his test scores for the district’s latest computerized assessment outstrip every other student in the state, and he denies these claims in front of the principal with nothing but neutrality in his veins.

A decade slips by, and he graduates from M.I.T. at the top of his class, gets a job at CatCo Worldwide Media, and the world seems like it has decided to let Winn out from under the shadow of his namesake’s crimes. For the first time since he woke up to the sound of sirens outside of his house, Winn finds himself hopeful that he’ll be able to live a life untainted by the gruesome memory of the deaths of half a dozen people.

Then he wakes up one morning and turns on the news just in time to learn that his father has broken out of prison and gone on another killing spree.

He just barely manages to get to work on time after nearly having to fight his way through the dozens of reporters waiting outside his apartment building.

Cat summons him into her office, takes one long look at him, and slides a crystal bowl of candy across her desk. He sits down, coming close enough to see that the bowl is filled with Skittles, not M&Ms- his favorite, not hers- and that’s all it takes for him to finally let go of the tears he’s been holding back since he switched on the television.

CatCo covers the story without a single mention of the Toyman’s son.

She calls him into her office again, just before he heads home, and tells him that he doesn’t have to worry about anyone bothering him from then on.

Rumors spread like wildfire among the employees of the media circuit that confirm his suspicions about the fate of the reporters she’d curtly informed him wouldn’t be seen again.

He doesn’t know how she does it- and he knows well enough not to ask- but every single reporter who had stood out on the steps of his building and harassed him to near tears is jobless and black-listed by every serious media outlet by the end of that week.

It doesn’t stop him from scrubbing his skin raw in the shower for a week afterwards at the memory of their probing questions and taunts, the worst of which being an offhanded comment about the ‘family resemblance’, but it helps.

Winn confesses all of this- every single repressed emotion, unspoken thought, everything- to the one person who understands exactly what it feels like to lose someone so close to their hearts.

It’s not James- everyone he’d ever loved is still living.

Nor is it Maggie- her parents had kicked her out simply for being gay, there was no love lost between them.

It’s not Kara and Lucy either.

Kara and Lucy have both lost parents, just not the way that he had. Lucy had never known her mother, and she’d never loved her father. Kara hadn’t had the chance to know her parents at all, let alone love them. She loved what they could have been, what they could have had, but she was robbed of the opportunity to love them for who they were.

But Alex- Alex had loved her father, just like Winn once loved his.

She knows how it feels to have that love torn away.

So Winn confesses everything to Alex, who holds other people’s secrets just as well as her own.

Later that year, and every year after that, Father’s Day will roll around and Alex Danvers will show up on his doorstep with a bottle of butter liquor in hand and a sardonic smile plastered across her features.

They cry and they rage and so what if Alex nearly puts her fist through his living room wall one year; they are coping and this is how.

Sometime after the booze has run out and they’ve run out of tears to shed, they’ll curl up together in Winn’s bed, an embrace fostered out of their shared agony and a desire for the simple comfort of human contact. He’ll have his head tucked under her chin, face pressed against her neck as he struggles to control his hitched breathing. Alex will wrap an arm around his shoulders and allow him to curl his arms around her waist and squeeze as hard as he can until he falls asleep.

The first time they do this, the first time they gather to wallow in this misery they have in common, it takes Alex the better part of an hour and nearly half a bottle of tequila before she can choke out a tearful confession of her own about just how alone her father’s death had made her feel, still makes her feel.

Winn’s father isn’t dead but he might as well be, so he reaches out with a boldness he’d almost forgotten having and pulls her across the couch to let her stifle her sobs in the cotton of his favorite Firefly shirt.

He meets Kara first, falls head-over-heels for the beautiful girl with the beautiful soul. It never goes anywhere, though, and his infatuation fades with time as their friendship solidifies into something bright and strong.

But he grows to love Alex just as deeply, if not more so.

Kara is a light, a shining beacon of strength and hope and heart, but Alex is safe port in a dark sea, and sometimes what he needs is a harbor in the darkness, a chance to greet the shadows he’s spent most of his life in and Alex understands this in ways that no one else can.

Kara has fallen into the shadows, but it has never stained her soul the way it taints theirs, and for that, Winn and Alex are glad. Kara’s light is the very definition of strength, and it’s something they all pray she’ll never lose.

She is the sun, and they, the night that makes the fills the spaces in between. This is the balance that pulls them all together and keeps them from falling apart.

He would do anything for them, and they for him, so when Alex calls him in the morning and tells him he has Cat Grant’s blessing to work from Kara’s apartment, he goes.

A/N:

Most of this chapter was erased before I could post it, and the rest is still being salvaged from the remains of my notes.

I’m really sorry. :(

But I didn’t want to make you guys wait until I had everything back, so I decided to split the chapter in half (it was a loooong chapter anyways) and this is it.

I hope you enjoyed, regardless.

Please feel free to let me know what you think of this fic- like it? Love it? Hate it? Drop me a comment down below.

#SuperCorp #SuperCorp fanfiction #Lena Luthor #Kara Danvers #Supergirl #SuperGAY #CW #Ao3

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totallyrhettro · 7 years

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The Lone Jedi, Chapter 16

Word Count: 2821 Rating: This chapter: PG. Overall story: explicit Warnings: None Summary: Jedi Knight Rhett McLaughlin managed to escape the purge of the Emperor to become one of the last of his celibate order. After years of a solitary life, he finds himself with a former slave for a friend. Despite his efforts to maintain anonymity and the jedi code, he starts to realize that doing either is easier said than done. Notes: Star Wars AU; Events take place between episodes III and IV

First Chapter

Previous Chapter

*See the end of each chapter for additional notes on star wars terms*

Rhett POV

Rhett felt the air leave his lungs and couldn’t bring it back. He didn’t mean for Link to find out this way, although he couldn’t even be certain that (as a slave for his whole life) he even knew what that word meant. The whole galaxy seemed to spin on that one word, and Link’s reaction to it. So far he was still processing and hadn’t freaked out yet. Rhett wished he had time to let it all sink in, but they still had to escape. At least he didn’t have to hide who he was anymore.

In one fluid motion, Rhett got to his feet, turned to face the zygerrians, and pulled back the side of his robe. He had brought his lightsaber just in case, but up until now he kept it away and out of sight, lest anyone learn who he really was. Pretending was pointless now; he’d already been found out. There was no denying the truth so he stepped out of the pretense and into his own skin.

“I’m taking this man and your freighter,” he stated, his right hand wavering just above the hilt of his weapon. “I suggest you find a new line of work.”

“I will not be threatened by you, jedi.” Mahala spat. “Your kind is a dying breed. The age of the jedi is over.”

“Not as long as I draw breath.”

“You won’t be breathing for long. Guards!” The two men beside her readied their disruptors and prepared to fire. Rhett was ready. His movements were almost too fast for the eye to follow as he took up his lightsaber and activated it just in time to deflect the incoming attacks. With a single gesture of his hand, he knocked the two guards back into the hallway. Stumbling to their feet, they couldn’t run away from their attacker fast enough. The green light of Rhett’s energy blade illuminated the small room, casting strange shadows and mirroring the force within. A jedi with a lightsaber was worth a hundred other men and the entire galaxy knew it.

“I suggest you let this one go, Matriarch,” he suggested. “Or are your slaves worth your life?” Mahala snarled, unwilling to let the situation get out of her hands. Activating her electro-whip, she brandished it with expert precision. Striking out, she aimed to take Rhett’s head, but he was quick and nimble, easily dodging out of the way. One swing of his lightsaber and he allowed the lash to wrap all the way around. Pulling back, he was able to rip the charged weapon right from the woman’s grasp and tossed it aside. Disarmed, and unguarded, she was far less confident in her abilities to stop the intruder.

“You may take my slaves, but you won’t make it out of this system alive,” she warned. “I’ll make sure of that.” Turning tail, following her guards, Mahala left to contact the local security. Rhett was triumphant, but he knew it wouldn’t last. Now alone with Link, he put away his saber and bent down to make sure his friend was alright. Using the force it was effortless to tear away the tracking shackle so it couldn't be used to hurt him as well.

“Are you alright?” he asked, using his eyes to look over the marks left behind by that horrible whip. “Can you stand?” They needed to get out of there, and fast. The city patrol would only be distracted for so long while the rebels pressed their attack, but this was not a fight the rebels could win. Rhett needed to get the remaining slaves to safety, and soon. If he had to he would carry Link the entire way; he wasn’t going to leave that man behind.

“She called you jedi,” Link noted, ignoring Rhett’s desire to scrutinize. It was more than a statement, it was a question. Rhett sighed, but nodded. There was no point hiding the truth from Link anymore.

“She did. I… I am.”

“You said you were a farmer.” Link remembered correctly and Rhett smiled softly at his innocence. He never thought his friend had ever fully accepted that lie of course. From Link’s tone Rhett knew he had wanted to believe it. Needed to believe that there wasn’t something hiding behind Rhett’s stories. That someone, for once, trusted him with their past.

“I know, I’m sorry I lied.” Allowing Rhett to help him get to his feet, Link listened carefully to him now, to each word, each fact. He wanted to know everything. “I’ve been in hiding since the fall of the Republic. There aren’t many of us left.”

“You could have told me,” Link said, making note of a fact more than an accusation. “Who was I going to tell?”

“I was trying to protect you.” ‘No.’ “Protect us.” ‘Closer.’ “I’ll explain later. Right now we have to leave.” Guiding his companion into the corridor, Rhett led the way through the halls he had previously cleared. Another explosion jostled the ship, but he held fast, both to his footing and onto Link.

“What is that?” Link wondered. “Are we under attack?”

“The city is. Rebel Alliance forces from Fest. Their job was to make a distraction while I freed you and the other slaves.” One turn, then another and the two of them were outside in the docking port. A few yards away sat the freighter, fully loaded with slaves and ready to fly. Rhett made a beeline for it with Link in tow. The distant sounds of battle raged on, getting closer with each passing minute.

“So…” Link panted as the two of them paused just outside, Rhett making sure the coast was still clear. “You’re working for the rebels?”

“Not exactly.” Not a guard in sight. They were all called on by the city authorities to help defend against the attack. Link’s hand in his own, Rhett made his way inside the freighter. “This time we’re after the same goal.” Putting a single finger to his lips, he hushed Link’s next question. The command center in the next room wasn’t empty. A pilot was preparing to launch, just waiting for the word from his superior. The room wasn’t very big, three seats just barely fit into the triangular space. Rhett focused on one of the multitude of levers in the room. With a short wave of his hand, and a call to the Force, he caused the lever to flip up. Suddenly alarms blared throughout the cabin, causing the pilot to jump. Cursing when he couldn’t fix the problem, the pilot ran out of the room in a complete panic. Once he was gone, Rhett and Link snuck in.

“What did you do?” Link asked as Rhett manually turned off the alarm and locked the doors behind them.

“I made him think the engine core was about to explode,” Rhett explained, taking the pilot seat. “He’ll try to get as far away from the ship as possible to avoid the explosion. By the time he figures out the truth, we’ll be long gone.” Link sat in the chair beside him, not sure what to say about that.

Rhett took a moment to acquaint himself with the controls. It had been a long time since he’d flown any vessel, let alone a zygerrian one. The fight outside was starting to wind down; they didn’t have long before the city’s guards turned their attention towards other problems, like the two men stealing a spaceship.

“Where are we going?”

“A rendezvous with the rebels on Svivren. The slaves will be treated to a warm meal and a hot bath.” The cabin hummed as the engines revved up. Lights flickered about the room, conveying various pieces of information that told Rhett everything he needed to know. They had plenty of fuel, more than enough to reach their destination. Gravity and life support systems were online, atmospheric thrusters were up and running.

“What about after that?” Link was unusually quiet, his face sullen and brooding.

“What do you mean?” Rhett was distracted. He was letting himself be distracted.

“What will happen to the people after you take them to Svivren? What will become of them?” He didn’t need to clarify further. Rhett knew what he was really asking. Link wanted to know what would become of him when this was all over. Maybe even Rhett as well.

“You’ll be free to go wherever you wish,” Rhett stated, trying to keep the emotion out of his voice. It never helped matters to get overly emotional. That was deeply rooted in the jedi teachings. Yet he couldn’t help the slight waver in his voice. He wondered what Link would choose this time. Last time Link walked out of his life it was back into chains. Of course this time he would be on a free world, safe from the slavers of the outer worlds. There would even be transports to safer planets, like Alderaan. A new chance at life, if they made it out of this system of course.

Link was silent for awhile as Rhett piloted the ship out of the city. As soon as he was out of range of the turret towers, he sent a signal to the rebel forces to retreat. Then, setting a course for Svivren, he made the jump to hyperspace and put Andasala far behind. Once they were on their way, Rhett flipped on the autopilot and swivel his chair to face his friend.

“There should be a first aid kit around here somewhere.” He looked around, unconsciously trying to avoid Link’s gaze, avoid looking into those blue eyes that he was scared would be filled with judgement, anger or maybe even hatred. Link didn’t move, choosing to just watch as the jedi searched under the consoles. The pain in his shoulder had to hurt like hell; first, possibly second degree burns from that whip could leave lasting damage if not treated properly.

“I thought all the jedi were wiped out.” This gave Rhett pause. Even with all his years of training to not get emotional over death, the memory of what had happened on Coruscant was still fresh as if it had happened yesterday. It still hurt to think about it.

“There… aren’t many of us left,” he admitted. “If the emperor has his way, my entire order will be destroyed; any memory or evidence that we existed erased from the universe.” Letting out a heavy sigh, Rhett leaned back in his chair. He didn’t like to talk about it. Didn’t want to admit how much it affected him. “I could very well live to see the end of the jedi forever.”

“People never think about the servants when they talk,” Link noted. “Most of the time, when they aren’t watching us perform, they forget we’re even there. They talk… a lot. I heard about how the jedi tired to kill the chancellor.”

“He was a lord of the Sith!” Rhett insisted, tired of the lies that the emperor and the Sith had spread far and wide. “The jedi were betrayed.” Taking a breath, he swallowed his outburst and returned to his search. Finally finding a small crate containing emergency medical supplies, he snatched it up and set it down on a clear spot on the console next to him. “No jedi would willingly agree to a coup against the senate. We have always been loyal to the republic.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t…” Link mumbled. “Is that why you didn’t want to tell me who you really were? You were afraid of what I might think?” Rhett sighed. He didn’t mean to be angry at Link. He was just angry at the facts.

“No. I just… I’ve been hiding. So few of us left. Those that survived have all gone into hiding. It’s not safe, now.” He opened the case and looked inside, but didn’t see the contents. His mind was elsewhere. “The emperor and his new apprentice, Darth Vader, are still out there, looking to kill the last of us and destroy the entire jedi order all together. I had no choice but to hide...”

“Until when?” A fair question, one that Rhett had almost asked himself many times. One that he had avoided asking because he didn’t know how to answer. Now was no different. He didn’t like that a possible answer was ‘forever’.

Clearing his throat he took stock of the first aid kit before him. There were plenty of bandages and medicines to heal a variety of ailments. Picking up a can of numb-spray and a small tin of bacta, Rhett went over and knelt before Link. It wasn’t the best quality medicine, but it would do just fine enough. He sprayed over the reddening skin, to stop the pain, then opened the tin.

The gelatinous liquid wasn’t much like the green ointment he had made in his mountain home, but it reminded him of how he and Link had met. Only a few short weeks ago, they had been complete strangers. Before Link left, Rhett would have said they had become friends, growing closer than any he’d made before coming to this planet. Yet maybe it was a fantasy, a lie no more true than the tales he had created to hide the truth of his identity. How could true friendship be forged on lies? How could real emotion come from such falsehoods?

“Kinda reminds me of when you treated my scratches,” Link commented, obviously remembering the same as Rhett. “Doesn’t smell as nice, though.” Rhett gave a soft smile, rubbing the bacta into Link’s burns. It was nice to be here again, treating Link. He had missed this simple pleasure.

“This should heal a lot quicker.” he assured him. “The wounds aren’t nearly as deep.”

“Where will you go?” Another tough question. “When this is all over. Will you return to the mountains? To the ruins?” Rhett didn’t give his answer for a long time. He didn’t really have one. Finally he sighed and shook his head.

“I don’t know. Someone may come looking for me there. Bounty hunters. The Sith.” He rubbed one last drop of medicine into Link’s skin, then shut the tin and leaned back. He hated the thought of leaving behind all of his hard work. The data he had collected over the past years; if the Sith found it they’d destroy it all for sure. “It’s not safe there anymore.”

“I’m sorry.” Rhett looked up at Link, sad to see guilt in the man’s eyes. “It’s all my fault. You were hiding and I messed it all up for you.”

“No.” Taking Link’s hand in his, Rhett tilted his head until their eyes met. “No, you mustn’t think that. You have never done anything to wrong me. It’s my fault I… I should never have driven you away, or asked you to leave. I was…” He took a deep breath. “I was scared… Jedi’s aren’t… we can’t…”

“Your code,” Link guessed. “The jedi have a code, don’t they?” Rhett nodded again. “They forbid you to love?”

“To not get attached,” Rhett corrected.

“Why?” For a moment the jedi didn’t know if Link had asked the question or if it had been his own mind yet again, demanding answers he just didn’t have. Link’s voice was soft, but urgent. Rhett couldn’t answer, still didn’t know. He knew the rules, the law, the code, the explanations, but the reason? Now? In these days when the jedi were all but gone? What did it matter? Why, after all this time did he still cling to the old ways like his life depended on it?

“Attachments lead to jealousy…” Rhett had read these words many times from the ancient writings. “Fear of loss is a path to the dark side.” He repeated them, like reading scripture, not his own words at all, and Link could hear it in his voice.

“That’s what your code says,” Link pointed out. “But I know you don’t believe that. If you can’t tell me in your own words why you won’t admit to how you feel, then…”

“Because I’m afraid!” At Rhett’s words, Link stopped. “Because I’m afraid of… Of losing myself in your arms, your touch. I��m afraid of what I’ll become if anything ever… ever happened t-…” Words failed him completely, and slump to the floor as tears streamed down his face. It was the oldest story in the book, as it were. Not because of some code, or sense of obligation, but fear. Rhett was afraid of losing Link.

Link didn’t speak but sat down beside his dear friend. Whatever lies had been told, he knew this man. The stories about his past were false, but his present was real, his soul was real. His feelings were real. Wrapping the giant man in his arms, Link held him tight. He didn’t need to say a single word.

Next chapter

Additional Notes-

Republic: The Galactic Republic, commonly referred to as the Republic and later known as the Old Republic, was the democratic union that governed the galaxy for a thousand years prior to the rise of the Galactic Empire.

Fest: Fest was a planet in the galaxy

Bacta: a thick, gelatinous substance with seemingly magical healing properties

Sith: an ancient, monastic warmongering organization of Force users, unified by its belief and observance of the dark side of the Force in an effort to gain power over the galaxy.

More Fics

#rhett #link #rhink #fanfic #star wars #starwars #the lone jedi

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spookyenemyperson-blog · 6 years

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Motorcycle insurance for 20 yr old mn?

I'm looking at getting a motorcycle and was wondering what it would cost me. I don't have any tickets or anything. My record is clean and I was looking at either a Kawasaki ninja 250 or 500r that would be like a 2005. Maybe a 750ccc cruiser. What difference would there be between the two types of bikes and about what would I be looking to pay?

Who is a good auto insurance company for active duty military members changing addresses often?

insurance companies who cover multiple states

How much does a psychiatrist cost without insurance?

I will not have insurance to give for going to a psychiatrist. How much would you think something like this would roughly cost?

Any statefarm agents that can help with a car insurance question?

I had my auto insurance with state farm for several years. I used to live in Miami, Fl for pretty much the whole time until this past January that i moved to Orlando. Until now (October 2012) i hadn't changed my address because i was planning on going back but now that i decided to stay in Orlando i ended up changing to another insurance company because my policy was going to be A LOT cheaper. My question is, should i be able to get retroactive pay for the difference in my premium from the more expensive premium that i was paying in Miami and the much lower one from Orlando? I sent my state farm agent my lease contract since the beginning of the year and she said that they weren't going to allow it. Does that sound right? I know it was my responsibility to have my addresses changed but since i didn't and i was paying my premium for one city while living at another. Thanks!""

""Im paying $1,000 every 6months for my car insurance, and im 19 years old.?""

Does anybody know of any cheap insurance companies that I can get a quote from? I really REALLY need to find a different company, because I cant afford that much. Please help! (I live in California if that helps)""

Do I need auto insurance in this case (I live in Texas)?

I'm looking a the Texas Minimum liability insurance requirements. They have a 30/60/25 policy. $30,000 & $60,000 policy for 1 and two people's medical, and $25,000 for property damage. Well I was interested in investing some money, and I'm absolutely SICK at the interest rates given at any bank or credit union. The best around here is .75% which STINKS! So I was curious if there is any type of insurance surety account. Basically, could I put $85,000 (which would cover 1 or two people's medical, and $25k in property damage into an account that I can't touch? Is there anything like this where I could prove financial responsibility , through a surety account of some type and gain my own insurance card this way? The way I see it, my insurance is currently around $800 a year for liability here. For my $85k investment into a binding surety or insuring account I could save $800 a year. That's like drawing nearly 10% interest in savings!!! LOL! I just wonder if anything like that exists? I mean they call it financial responsibility .... It's not called insurance by law.""

What is a good health insurance?

I want to get insurance for me and my husband. I need an insurance that offer health dental and vision benefits. I have seen alot of insurances, but i want an insurance that gives me good benefits, not just discounts. Can someone please give me opinions about your insurance and what benefits they provide you?""

Information about health insurance please?

Im looking for a cheap but good health insurance. Please let me know what your recommendations are.

Insurance question please?

hi i am a learner and but my partner has a car that is insured on his friends name. my question is my partner states he cannot teach me how to drive or put my name under the insurance because it would cost more and he might get into trouble with the police . i just want to know if this is true and if so like how much would it cost.

Possible cancer without insurance?

My fiance has a visible tumor (it's visible--it was benign and removed before but came back). He lost his health insurance a couple years ago, and he seems to only be progressively be getting sicker (we don't know if it's because it's a cancerous tumor or his stress levels are insanely high). Either way, he obviously needs to see a doctor--but we have no insurance and we don't make enough to afford insurance (we might make little enough to qualify for medicaid--for this question, assume we do). My question is, what options does he have? We can't afford treatment. He doesn't want to go to a doctor w/o insurance because they won't help him since he can't pay and he will lose the job he has and what little he does make. Please, are there special programs? I know his condition does not qualify for the fast SSI claims as I looked into that already. Would medicaid be enough? Are there special cancer programs? Is there anything? Or is he really going to be left to die? He's only 26. Also, we live in Colorado (since that might make a difference).""

""How much will insurance be on a bmw 5 series 3 litre 17 year old, SECOND DRIVER!?""

im looking on how much it would be for my father to make me his second driver so I could also drive his car, it is a bmw 5 series 3 litre, im 17 year olds I have only just passed my test, please no stupid remarks/commentx""

Should Keep or Look into term Life Insurance Quotes?

I have a whole life policy which I have been paying 45.00 per month for 16 yrs. I have to pay this amount until age 99 so they say. The amount it was for when I bought it was 50,000. It builds cash value. I am now 62. Should I keep this policy or look into term insurance?""

How much would homeowners insurance cost on a 1.2 million dollar house?

It's in southern California. I'm just asking for a rough estimate please.

How does 21st Century Insurance Compare to Allstate?

I currently have allstate for my car insurance. I was given a quote from 21st Century Insurance and it is less than half of allstate. Is 21st Century a good company to get? Or should I stick with Allstate?

Car Insurance problems.?

so im in a situation where im having problems getting insurance on my vehicle. ive tried through brokers now, because ive been kicked off my insurance due to 5 tickets. i cant afford 21,000 insurance rates, but i need to be able to use my vehicle. my parents have been at this he last few days with nothing to help me. I was under their insurance but becase of the tickets i got kicked off. im trying to move out all at the same time and having a car would make things so much easier. any tips on what i can do, or how long i should wait before trying to see if i can get insured again. btw my tickets are from late last year and this year""

MY FRIEND CAR INSURANCE?

I WANT TO KNOW WHY STATE FARM CANCEL PEOPLE INSURANCE MY FRIEND HAS HAD 2 WRECK AND THEY PAY INSURANCE TWICE A YEAR THEY SAY AFTER YOU HAD MORE THEN ONE WRECK NO MATTER HOW LONG YOU BEEN WITH THEM THEY CANCEL AND ALSO ALLSTATE HAS A FORGIVENESS THEY NEVER CANCEL YOU

What is the average yearly cost for house insurance?

2 story home 100k 900 square feet Heated my electricity 2 car garage Decent neighborhood 3 bedrooms 2 bathrooms we are buying our first house. I am aware that prices vary, but I don't know where that range begins and ends. Any help great""

Cheap car insurance PLEASEEE :(?

Does the car insurance charge extra more for adding a teen driver under 18?

i'm 17 now and will be in august i need to learn driving and get the license in this summer break i've the driving permit my dad is the only driver in the family's car insurance plan so, does the insurance charge more if i'm under 18? if yes, i'm going to apply it after my birthday thanx""

Why did my car insurance rates suddenly double?

I am almost 40, have a spotless driving record, have the same car, haven't changed the policy, and haven't moved. So how can my insurance agent just up my rates all of the sudden and not give me an answer why. He just says that things change. Is there an industry standard or can agents just screw with us at will? I have been with this WELL known insurance company for 4 years. This isn't some guy working out of his garage. Any experts out there that can shed some light on this for me. I am shopping around for new insurance as i type.""

What motorcycle insurance i should get?

i am not sure wat i want cause like whose the cheapest one to go for

How much is my car worth?

I just totaled my 2003 nissan sentra gxe. I have full coverage insurance and was wondering how much I should expect the insurance company to give me for the car? I looked on kelley blue book website but I am not sure if it should be considered private party value or trade-in value. It was in excellent condition prior to the crash.

Can i drive my dads car without insurance?

Alright so i live in Ontario, Canada. I just recently got my G2 licence, and i am dying to drive the car, but my dad isnt sure if he would need to get insurance in my name on the car which i will drive. he already has insurance on the car, however its on his name. Can i legally drive that car if the insurance is not on my name?""

I Need Some Car And Car Insurance Advice?

Okay, so basically i am 17 and i am currently learning to drive, i have had roughly 13 lessons and it is coming up to the stage where i have to start thinking a car and getting insurance ect... however, i don't actually sort of know how it works,for eg. how do i go about buying a car? is their anything i have to know? and then once i have the car, how do i get insurance and what else must i acquire in able to be able to drive the car legally and at anytime? i don't also actually understand how the insurance works like what is it.. and finally finding the cheapest car insurance etc.. a bit of background knowledge: i'm 17, and the sort of car i'm looking for is a Vaxhaul Corsa 1.2 in black.""

How will my finance company know if i change my car insurance coverage?

im leaving to basic training next week and i was going to drop my car insurance coverage down to just storage insurance because my car is going to be stored and under a car cover at my fathers house while i am away. my car insurance company suggested before i make the change that i contact my finance company and make sure that there would be no issue if i did this, how ever the finance company said i could only do this if i literally go and rent a storage unit and keep my car there, AND i have to be deployed, simply being away at training is not enough. If i go ahead and reduce my coverage to storage insurance, how would my finance company know, im sure there has to be some way they would find out.""

I got into a car accident and i have no insurance?

I rear ended this woman at only 20 miles an hour, she had absolutely nothing on her, not even a scratch . I have no insurance so she didn't call the police. Then she called this weekend she said her mechanic said it would cost over $500 because her air bags needed to be replaces due to this accident. Is she just trying to play me and did I have anything to do with those air bags? I decided she was lying to me, and decided not to pay. She then calls and says she's calling the police and reporting it as a hit and run, and calling a lawyer.""

Where can I get auto insurance at an affordable rate?

I sold my car and did not need auto insurance for more than a year. Now, I've purchased another car & the insurance co. won't insure me because I had a lapse in coverage even though I did not have a car to cover?? I have a clean driving record & a valid license. What am I supposed to do? The car is paid for, but I want collision insurance. One co. offered me liability at the rate for collision!! Ridiculous!""

What insurance companys will insure you at the age of 17?

what insurance companys will insure people at the age of 17

""Impossible to get car insurance, what should I do?""

I'm 18 soon and will be wanting to start driving but the cheapest quote i can get is 6000 etc on a 1.0 litre vauxhall corsa, There is no one i can get a policy with as my mum doesn't drive. is there any suggestions? only British people will understand this problem

""What do you do if you pregnant, and you have no health insurance?

could the baby be covered on the father's insurance?

How much is a ticket for driving without insurance in washington state?

I pay almost $900 every six months and I'm sick of it. I've never been pulled over and I only commute 6 miles to work and an occasional trip to the grocery store. It sounds like it would be cheaper risking getting pulled over and get a ticket than to pay the insurance. Anybody have an idea how much the ticket would be?

What car will i be able to afford insurance on when im 17?

im 15 on april 25th 2011 when im 17 what cars will i be able to get insured, i have a 1500 budget... i love the MG ZR how much will that cos when im 17...... and any other cars that will be cheap to insure that are nice looking cars and pretty nippy cheers""

Insurance for my business?

I run a small local business that is a Pet Waste Removal service. My question has to do with insurance. I don't know much about insurance and I'm pretty lost right now. I'm the only employee. I go to someones house and scoop their pets poop. Do i need insurance for this business and if so what kind and why? How about being Bonded? Thanks I appreciate your help..

Need senior insurance advise?

my mother has a supplemental insurance health [anthem] we recently received a letter that informed us that because of the cost of living..it is necessary to more then double the monthly premiums..when my mother used a ambulance service...god bless this insurance. they paid 13 dollars and we had to pay the rest.the insurance sucks!..does anyone have an alternative supplemental insurance and has anyone tried the ARRP program..moms Aricet is 300.00 a month alone..so i found out i can get this in canada for 50.00 a month..i now order my mothers pills a little early and save the excess pills for when she gets in that infamous donut hole...its a killer out there.mom has dementia and does not have the strain that i have trying to keep her in good health.any advise would be appreciated....

Will my no proof of insurance charge be dismissed?

I live in California. So I was pulled over for an unsafe lane change. The officer asked for my insurance and I handed him my expired one on accident. He asked for the current one but I didn't have it in my car. I had cleaned my car completely and took out all my papers and put the wrong insurance paper back in my car. I went home and of course it was just sitting there. I know that's no excuse. He told me that it would get dismissed if I show the court that I did have insurance that day. I just got my ticket in the mail and it was $1,137. Will the court actually dismiss the no proof of insurance ticket and can I just go to the court tomorrow and show them? Someone online said they can't dismiss it if there is another charge with it. So what do I do? I tried calling the courthouse but because of budget cuts there is no one to help with traffic violation inquiries.""

Insurance prices for 17 year old male?

I would like to buy a car after just passing my test. Which would be cheaper for insurance? A ford ka, fiesta. a vw lupo or a nissan micra? All second hand of course. Or any other suggestions are welcome""

Can I have an estimate on my car insurance?

I am an 18 year old male, in the state of Pennsylvania who is gonna buy his own car. I have never been in a car accident or gotten a ticket in the past 2 years I've been behind the wheel (with my moms car). I also have State Farm insurance. Can someone let me know how much It would cost if I got a car insured under my moms insurance? Or maybe if it could be cheaper for me to get my own plan? Thank you!""

How does car insurance work?

I got a ticket for not having endurance but the car i was driving (my dads) does. Can i just show proof of insurance to get the ticket off or does the insurance have to say my name in order to be taken off? Example:: In that case how do you explain road tests at the dps for driving license? They ask for insurance of the car your testing in but clearly its not in your name since you don't have a license yet they let you drive it. What happens in case of an accident? Will it not be covered since the person behind the wheel is not in the document? Can i take off the ticket or not? Or is car insurance all about the person behind the wheel? Isn't it supposed to be for the car no matter who is driving? Please explain if i got it all wrong and have to pay the ticket

How much would it cost to insure a new Mazda3?

I want to buy a new ('08 or '09) Mazda 3. It would go on my parents insurance, and they both have a clean record. How much would it cost to insure? I live in Nassau County, NY (Long Island).""

Car Insurance Am I covered? The car has it but im not on the insurance!?

I had a wreck saturday, im not on the insurance but the car has insurance.. I was just barrowing the car.. Would it still be covered and be able to get fixed?""

""I am staying in Italy,but i want to know much a car insurance will cost me for a year?""

I am staying in Italy,but i want to know much a car insurance will cost me for a year?""

Is a mazda 3 a sports car too a insurance company ?

will a insurance company consider a simple mazda 3 a sports car ? like not a mazda 3 speed , just a normal mazda 3 sedan 4 door""

Can i lease a car with my own credit but insure it with my parents insurance?

can i lease a car with my own credit but insure it with my parents insurance? i am under my parents insurance policy.what i would like to do is lease a car with my credit, and insure the car with my parents insurance (which i'm under).is this possible?""

Cheap car insurance PLEASEEE :(?

What's the best florida home insurance?

Insurance on a jeep wrangler.?

im buying a jeep for my first car (jeep wrangler). i want to know if the insurance is going to be high, im 16 year old male. my insurance would be geico. if you can compare it to a sports car would it be cheaper?""

""How much does house insurance cost on a $500,000 house?""

How much does house insurance cost on a $500,000 house?""

Health insurance help..family of 6?

we got denied Medicaid in our state, said we make to much money. we cant afforded it our works don't have it. where can i go to get at least a RX card or something?? or a place that has affordable insurance?""

""Can I own a car, but be covered under my mom's insurance policy?""

Im 17, and I live in Indiana. Right now I own a car, but the title is in my mom's name, and I am insured as the only driver of that car under her insurance policy. Can ...show more""

Help finding affordable health care for an individual 24 year old female in college part time and working.?

I am a 24 year old female in a community college (my 3rd semester) I am not full time because I am working as a waitress to survive outside of school. I have looked all over the internet and the quotes I have gotten have actually made me laugh. 520, 250, 300 a month for health insurance are you kidding? I have to pay 500 hundred dollars for health insurance a month? That is almost my rent. This is ridiculous! I really need to get a doctor and more then that I need a dentist. I grew up with a single father and I have only been able to go to the dentist once because his work did not provide health care unfortunately. I am not trying to come off as bitching but this is really frustrating to me. :o( Can someone please send a website with an affordable New York health insurance? I would really appreciate it. Thanks! :o/""

Insurance coverage with DUI involved?

My father recently crashed his car into a van after consuming over the legal limit of alcohol (well over knowing him), and is concerned whether Progressive insurance will cover vehicle damages for him and the other driver. Also notable is that his car is pretty much totaled, I think, and he does have some previous blemishes on his driving record and the car is leased. If someone with some knowledge on these matters would help and give me an idea of what insurance will and will not cover could help it would be much appreciated.""

Classic car insurance for 18 year olds?

I was wondering whether it is possible to be put on a classic car insurance policy at 18. I've looked around and nearly all say you have to be over 25. I would like to somehow be insured on an Escort XR3i or RS turbo. I understand that because of may age this isn't going to be very easy. would it be cheaper to be a named driver if my dad owned the car ?

Insurance price?

does anyone have an idea of how much insurance would be for me to purchase a new wrx sti? age 24, pittsburgh PA, clean record...any rough estimates?""

What is the cheapest but most reliable car insurance?

Hit a car. How much insurance can go up?

Have good driving record for 3 years and with Progressive. How much insurance can go up if I hit a car and damage like this... http://www.whymagic.com/html/images/front_bl_before_lg.jpg http://www.whymagic.com/html/images/before-after/front_before_lg.jpg

My first car.. What is the best and cheap on insurance?

im saving up for a car, but this will be the first car i buy. Does anyone know what car is relatively smart, and cheap on insurance for a UK full license? thank you""

Cheapest car insurer and cheapest car to ensure?

Hello i will do my lessons soon and was wondering what is the best way to get cheap car insurance, thanks allot best regards Bilal""

Insurance on salvages autos? hw much?

i was just wondering if its possible to get insurance if i buy a salvage car from private seller? how much would the rates be? anybody has any idea? is it possible to get comprehensive insurance for a salvage car? well you cant get insured then how can you drive the car around ! doesnt make anysense right!?

Is insurance needed with a permit?

Im 17 with my drivers permit. Do i need insurance or does the insurance that my parents who are driving with me have cover it? I live in California

Is it really imperative to get an insurance for a second hand car I've been driving uninsured for a year now?

A lot of my friends have been pushing me but I don't see the need.

What is the best car insurance around?

I am planning to enroll my new car. I want a complete coverage but at a reasonable cost. I don't wanna be spending too much just for my car insurance. Help please...Thanks a lot.

Where can i go to talk about health insurance in az?

i tried to look up insurances online but im not finding what i need, or just dont understand it.. i want to know where i can walk in and ask a person face to face any questions i have.. i dont know anything about insurance""

Drivers Ed Questions On Insurance?

Fill In The Blank Words -assigned-risk insurance, blue book, bodily-injury insurance, car pooling, collision insurance, comprehensive insurance, deductible, depreciation, financial responsibility law, leasing, liability insurance, mass transportation, no-fault insurance policy, policy, premium, property-damage insurance, warranty- 1. Decrease of vehicle value due to its age. 2. Written guarantee that the seller will make repairs for a time period. 3. Lists the average price paid to dealers for various used vehicles. 4. Requires you to prove that you can pay for damages you may cause with your vehicle. 5. Specified amount you pat to an insurance company for insurance. 6. Set amount of money you personally pay for damages that is not paid by your insurance company. 7. Written agreement between you and your insurance company. 8. Type of insurance that is not concerned with who is to blame. 9. Provides minimum coverage for high-risk drivers. 10. Several methods of moving large numbers of passengers. 11. Several people commuting to work or school in one vehicle. 12. An alternate method of obtaining a vehicle other than by purchase. 13. Protects you against claims for another person's injuries or property damages when you are at fault. 14. A type of liability insurance that covers drivers who are at fault for injuries to other people up to specified limits. 15. A type of liability insurance that covers drivers who are at fault for damages to another person's property up to specified limits. 16. A type of insurance that provides coverage to pay the costs of repair or replacement of your vehicle up to specified limits. 17. Insurance that covers damage to your vehicle from non-collision events. One word per statement. I already have some answers but I just want to be 100% sure I'm right, thanks any answers are appreciated.""

Car insurance for a young driver?

My parents told me that they would buy me a car but, all I have to pay is car insurance. I was wondering what is the most cheapest insurance company? I've heard about the General and Liability. Someone please help because, i need to know.""

Can you buy auto insurance the very moment you buy a car? Do insurance companies work that quickly?

Can I call an insurance company the instant I buy a car and say, Hey, I just bought a car. I want to get insurance for it. ? I think companies should do this because if I take off from the dealership without insurance, and somebody hits me on the way home, I'm in trouble, right? I looked everywhere for this information, but I couldn't find it anywhere. Could somebody clarify this issue for me?""

Where do i get health insurance in texas. im 18?

18 year old male. Parents dropped me. Sad day:(. Haha so where would I find cheap good health insurance :)

What is the Cheapest Homeowners Insurance for Senior Citizen?

My elderly neighbor has had her homeowners insurance cancelled because she couldnt afford to pay it. She is on a fixed income and her children do not help in any way. She owns her home but is having a hard time with paying the large payments. her mortage company says that if she doesnt take out her own insurance then they will purchase it for her at a cost of 2100.00 per year. This is way too much for a Senior citizen. i got a quote for her from progressive for 2600.00. Are there any cheaper alternatives?

""I live in So Ca am 55 years old and I don't have medical insurance, I have ongoing medical problems. Any help

Any subjections for low income doctors.

Where can I get a fair priced car insurance for a first time driver at the age of 17 and Male?

I'm just about to do my second test, I failed the first with only 4 minors but I misjudged a speed limit and got failed for dangerous driving when doing 40 in a 30. I've been looking at a Ford Fiesta 1.4 Zetec 16V that I would really enjoy to have except I can't find insurance anywhere cheaper than 2700 and I think it's ridiculous because I'm not a maniacal driver and I don't see why I should have to pay that much until proven that I will cause that sum of damage. Is there any way I can get a cheaper premium? It's really putting me off driving because the price is just absolutely horrendous. PS UK ONLY PLEASE""

Cheap car insurance PLEASEEE :(?

How do I get Insurance before I even buy a car?!?

I'm looking to buy my first car and one of the things the dealership asks from you is proof of insurance. How am I supposed to have car insurance if I don't have a car yet? Secondly, after buying the car am I supposed to drive it home without insurance, registration, etc?""

California motorcycle license?

if you drive a motorcycle without a motorcycle license but with a valid drivers license is it the same penalty as driving without a license? the bike does have its own insurance

How much for a 16 year old boy drive a h22 civic for insurance how much would it cost?

Cheapest car to insure?

Hello my friend is passing her test hopefully in September time and is looking for a car now to get insured for September the first with her full license she is 19 but wants cheap insurance? Thanks

First car ... I need cheap car insurance.. what car offers cheap insurance?

Tell me how much the insurance costs if possible, bearing in mind I am a new driver.""

WILL MY CAR INSURANCE BE HIGH?

I'm 18, from california, and ive had my license since i was 16. I currently drive a 04 volvo and im planning to get a 2012 or 2013 chevrolet camaro LS. The plan is to trade in my old car but my mom is complaining that my insurance will be like $300 or more a month. Is that true? I have safeco btw thanks""

How much is motorcycle insurance for a 24 yr old in NJ? How does it compare to car insurance?

I can get quotes but just want to get a quick rough estimate answer. And does nj provide refund for motorcycle courses to take to pass the licence? for ex. I know illinois do

Is there better insurance than Medicare?

I am 65 and in good health....I need better health insurance than Medicare. I don't want suplemental insurance besides Medicare. I would like to ask if anyone knows of something better!

Why do students need Insurance?

what benefit will they get from it? Why should the city of Quebec make insurances available to students. An example of a story would help.

What is a medical insurance deductible?

Insurance when you first pass your test! WHO IS THE CHEAPEST?

I am looking to insure a citrone C2 1.1 and wonder who the cheapest place is? That question aside, Who is the cheapest to get insured with when you first pass your test? I am 18, Just passed. Steve""

Average 600cc Sportbike Insurance in Canada?????

I am 21 and have Full G license for 5 years and M2 license for one year. Clean record and thinking of purchasing a brand new bike of 600cc for around $10000. What do you recken my insurance be approximetaly??????????? Thank You for your replies........

I was wondering if anyone could tell me if you can get like your life insurance lisence online and where?

How to get dental insurance in Alabama and how much it cost?

My friend doesn't have dental insurance. So i'm just trying to help out by asking for advice. What is the cheapest dental insurance she can get that is going to cover root ...show more

A question on car insurance?

It is the first time we r thinking of a car. Can someone please tell what are the steps to get a insurance? It is a used car that we wish to buy from a friend. so, next what do we do?""

""If my car is totalled, will the people's insurance who hit me give me kelly blue book value and take my car?,?""

I was t-boned the other day and am pretty sure my car will be totalled, it still runs great, and i love the car. the accident was the other persons fault. if it IS toatalled, will her ...show more""

Motor cycle insurance for an 18 year old using usaa?

How much would insurance be for an 18 year old using USAA? I am going to get a Honda CBR250R for the gas mileage. I live in Southern California in Riverside county. the bike would be my primary transportation and i have a perfect driving record. along with straight A's. please help?

How long do you have to get insurance on a car after loaning?

A relative of mine wants to take over notes to my current car. I'm waiting for papers to come back to approve her and get the title in her name. The note was too high anyways but I have to pay for the note ($375) and insurance ($251) until everything is situated. Well I found a cheaper car for 6,000 and I'll be paying a little more than $100 each month. I want to hurry and get this car because I really like it and if I wait too long then it would be gone. Do I have to get insurance on it right away. I won't be driving it until I get insurance. Would they come and repo it if I don't have insurance but paying the note? I can't afford two notes and two insurances. So that's why I wanted to wait until I got rid of my first car to get insurance.""

Should I buy a new car on interest free with free insurance or a second-hand car?

I have not owned a car in the UK, so have only had a full UK driver's licence for 4 years, although have driven in NZ for 14 years. Therefore, my insurance quotes have been in the region of 2 K. Was thinking of getting a new car to circumvent the hassle of looking for a second hand car and also to bring down my insurance the following year. Monthly repayments on a new car would be 200 on a 10 K car, or 3500 upfront for a second-hand car. Can someone give me a proper financial assessment and also the pros and cons of a second-hand and new car? Cheers!""

Decent Car Insurance Info?

Does anyone know of a decent car insurance provider for 18 - 20 year olds -.- I just got quoted 4k for a 1litre CAR that is almost double if not more than double of the 1 litre I would of bought if Insurance companies weren't FUBAR. Does anyone know of cars or car insurance providers that are cheapish like 2000 - 2500 mark. I mean I'm in a 1 litre I'll be topping 80 my acceleration is about 12 seconds -.- So yeah thanks to anyone :)

A question about how much will insurance cost?

i am looking at a few cars , toyota mr2 which should be cheap on insurance because it's a classic car and im looking at a renault clio 1.2 now im just wondering because im nearly a 17 year old and wanting to know how much would insurance cost on these 2 cars thanks people""

Which car has the cheapest insurance?

Audi A4 (Sedan) Audi A6 (Sedan) BMW 3-Series (Sedan) BMW 3-Series (Coupe) BMW 3-Series (Convertible) BMW 5-Series (Sedan) BMW M5 (Sedan) Cadillac CTS Lexus IS Lexus GS Mercedes-Benz C-Class Mercedes-Benz CLK-Class Mercedes-Benz SLK-Class Mercedes-Benz E-Class Mercedes-Benz S-Class These are cars I want to get but my dad said that he wants me to pay for insurance and gas. I want something with the cheapest insurance BUT ALSO on this list.

Do motorbike insurance count towards my no claims?

i have 2 years no claims on my car insurance and am looking to geta motorbike. will my motorbike insurance go towards my no claims in total

Car Insurance....Help?

Hiya!!! i am 17, jus passed my test, got pass plus aswell, am male and a full time student...does any cool dude out there no of any cheats on how to get the cheap car insurance coz for a 1.2 fiat punto costs me 2800 and i jus havnt got that money!!!! any help really would be appreciated :) :) :) thankssssss x""

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viralhottopics · 7 years

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Speed-reading apps: can you really read a novel in your lunch hour?

Apps such as Spreeder and Spritz are bringing speed reading back into fashion. But what gets lost in this race for the last page?

This article contains 1,993 words. If you were to read it to the end, without being distracted by your email or your dog or your children or the contents of the fridge or the bills you have to pay, it would take you, on average, a little over six minutes. But what if you were able to imbibe all of its (undoubted) nuance and richness in half of that time? Or a quarter? What if you could glance at the text and know everything it said just by running your eyes down the page?

The idea of speed reading was invented by an American schoolteacher named Evelyn Wood, whose search for a way to improve the lives of troubled teenagers in Salt Lake County, Utah, by teaching them to read effortlessly, led her to the belief that she herself could read at the rate of 2,700 words a minute, 10 times faster than the average educated reader. And further, that the techniques that allowed her to do so could be taught and sold.

With Doug, her husband, Wood opened her Reading Dynamics institutes across the US and beyond in the 1950s and 60s, and her methods became a self-help craze. The way in which we read, she professed, in the managerial spirit of the moment, was inefficient in terms of time and motion. We had to stop subvocalising saying words out loud in our heads as our eyes moved across the page as well as learning to outlaw the pauses and detours that led to us reread phrases when our minds drifted or our understanding snagged. Print should be consumed in blocks rather than words and sentences. To achieve this, Wood promoted a technique of running a finger down the middle of a page to activate peripheral vision. By the end of a course in Reading Dynamics, breathless students were reading Orwells Animal Farm at the rate of 1,400 words a minute, and telling tales of revolution.

President Kennedy, who believed himself to be a gifted speed reader (and who colleagues observed reading the New York Times and the Washington Post each morning in 10 minutes flat, scanning and turning the pages), sent a dozen of his staff tothe Evelyn Wood Reading Dynamics Institute in Washington. Presidents Nixon and Carter, under mountains of briefings, followed suit. The science of Woods method was never remotely proven, however, and by the time of her death in 1995, her ideas had fallen out of fashion.

Recently, the attractions of speed reading have been revived and promoted, for a couple of reasons. The first is the persuasive perception that we are living in times of information overload, that we are daily presented with more words than we can possibly cope with, and that new tactics are called for to enable us to make sense of it all. The second factor is the belief that since text can now be presented more dynamically on screens we are not restricted by the rigidity of printed sentences on a page: surely there is a better way?

These twin perceptions have led to a wave of businesses and apps that once again aim to revolutionise your reading speed (at the cost of $4.99, or whatever, a month). For the past couple of weeks Ive been experimenting with a few of the best known, mostly on my smartphone. The apps generally use a technology called Rapid Serial Visual Presentation (RSVP), in which individual words, or blocks of two or three words, appear one after the other in the centre of your screen. The rate at which they do so can be set to 300 or 500 or 1,000 words a minute, enabling you to feed in text and books to be read faster and faster.

Two of the more popular platforms offer a slightly different approach. The Spreeder app allows you to choose the number of words you see at each moment, and to vary the rate at which these words come at you. I found that I could just about take in three-word chunks of Animal Farm for sense at 800wpm, but that in doing so I not only had a slight feeling of panic in trying to keep up, I lost any sense of the rhythm of language, and with it any of the tone of what was being said.

Spritz technology, meanwhile, developed by a company in Boston, is based on the idea that much of the time wasted in reading is spent in the fractions of seconds as the eyes focus moves between words and across the page. Spritz which drives the app ReadMe! offers successive individual words in which one letter, just before the midpoint of each word, is highlighted in red, keeping your focus on that precise point on the screen (the Optimum Recognition Point). With this technology I found I could just about read simple passages for sense at 700wpm, an ability I imagine would become more natural, if not necessarily more comfortable, the longer you practised it.

Both of the apps and there are dozens of others to choose from come with tutorials and exercises to help you master the system. In most cases you start, as Evelyn Wood used to, with an assessment of your current (bad) reading habits. Its the nature of my job as a journalist to often assimilate a lot of information under time pressure, so I like to think no doubt along with pretty much everyone else that I have developed quite fast comprehension skills. An app called Acceleread was mildly impressed with my ability to read a passage about deep sea creatures and then answer a series of questions about it.

The assessment began positively enough: 385wpm Fantastic! You already demonstrate some advanced techniques such as reading words in groups rather than individually. But the assessment had caveats: You may still find that you often say words silently and get easily distracted. (Youre not kidding.) Your program will focus on reducing subvocalisation, strengthening your eye muscles and increasing your capacity to absorb more information at once. You should see rapid and dramatic results

Before embarking on this body-building course for my eyes and brain, I read through some of the quite complex science of reading (generally at no more than 200wpm, and with plenty of distractions). There have been many studies of the claims made by speed reading courses, going back to the early promises of Evelyn Wood. As well as arguing that it was possible to utilise peripheral vision, she claimed that our eyes were lazy, unless yoked into rigorous training. The studies most definitively a large-scale research project, So Much to Read, So Little Time: How Do We Read, and Can Speed Reading Help?, led by scientists at the University of California, San Diego and published last year concluded that in general such training is neither biologically nor psychologically possible.

The mechanics of reading have only recently been fully understood. They depend on a brief fixation of the focal point of the eye, which lasts about 0.25 of a second on each word. The transition of that focus to the next word is allowed by saccades fine, ballistic eye movements, which last for about 0.1 of a second. The eye then either keeps moving forward or momentarily and subconsciously flicks back to confirm the sense of what has been read so far. All the experiments suggested that short-circuiting any part of this process led to a loss of comprehension and retention. The genius of normal reading is that it can minutely vary those fractions of seconds depending on how much of the sense of what is being read has been grasped. In a dense sentence, with sub-clauses and unfamiliar language, fixations and saccades are adjusted accordingly, so there is no break in reading flow. In easier passages the eye dances along swiftly. About 30% of the time it automatically shrinks the saccade over a familiar run of words, skipping past those it can predict.

How does this understanding bear on the apps such as Spreeder and Spritz? The acceleration they promise tends to depend on three issues: sub-vocalisation, looping backwards, and the time lag between words. The So Little Time study examined each of these in turn. When scientists tried to get people to eliminate sounding words subliminally in their heads by having them constantly hum while reading, for example comprehension dropped precipitously. The evidence suggested that when people saw words, they instantaneously accessed the sounds of those words to help understand them. The two processes worked seamlessly; speed dislocated them.

The problem with the second promise is perhaps more obvious you dont have to use the apps on fast speed for very long to realise that without the ability to go back and reread a phrase or a sentence, you can quickly lose the thread of what is being said. (Some of the apps have recognised this and added a rewind button.) The issue with the third claim has to do with rhythm. While it is true that you dont receive any fresh information in the spaces between words, the research suggests that the millisecond pauses are crucial for cognition: they are our brains tiny spaces for reflection.

In the fast lane: the speed-reading innovator Tim Ferris. Photograph: Amy E Price/Getty Images for SXSW

One of the things the studies dont dwell too much on is the nature of what is being read. I cant imagine ever wanting to read a novel at more than the normal 300wpm (by comparison, a speaking voice is roughly 150wpm and even cattle auctioneers can only rattle at 250wpm), but the virtue of reading short articles or emails on RSVP at double that speed seems more plausible. Chances are, however, that most of us already use various intuitive skimming techniques to extract information from such documents when time is short.

You dont really need studies to prove (though they do) that the more familiar we are with a subject, the more likely we are to be able to extract important information from it at pace. It is for this reason that JFK was able to read the New York Times so quickly presumably he knew most of the stories first hand, anyhow, and was just letting his eye flick across headlines and first sentences for a sense of argument. Most of us do something like this with material with which we are familiar although we are all probably less adept at it than we imagine.

Ronald Carver, a professor of education and psychology at the University of Missouri, proved in a landmark study of brainiacsin 1985 that, even for very practised speed readers, attempting to read above 600 words a minute meant that comprehension of any text fell below 75%, and went down dramatically as the reading speed increased beyond that. There is some evidence to show that we can, however, develop the ability to fillet a book quite quickly if we use adaptive techniques. In another study of the various techniques of skimming, two researchers at the University of Bath showed that skimmers who were most successful at extracting and retaining meaning were able to focus on critical sections of an argument and to jump forward as soon as the rate at which they are gaining new information drops below a threshold. They were particularly alive to bullshit or repetition.

Much of the buzz of our so-called digital overload comes from those latter growth industries. It has been argued that the subconscious mind can process 20,000,000 bits of information per second; but of those, the conscious mind holds on to only about 40 bits at any moment. Rather than trying to read more quickly we might be better advised to read more selectively. A lot of our lives can be scanned and scrolled and skipped, but reading remains a more immersive kind of act, dependent on detail. As Woody Allen observed: I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in 20 minutes. Its about Russia.