#but like i generally dont know what i meed to do to go about getting a girlfriend

[dream-launch]

It is possible I have fell into an emotional pit of despair solely because it has finally hit me that in less than two months I will 19 and I have never even had my first kiss or experienced any form of romantic love, fuck I've barely experienced platonic love

[my3rzs]

could i have a xavier thorpe request with an established relationship and the reader gets injured by the hyde or during the fight with crackstone? Thank you im just a sucker for angst.

KEEP YOU SAFE | x.t x fem!reader

summary: after getting a fight with xavier, you get injured

notice: she/her pronouns, swearing, reader gets hurt, overprotective xavier? bianca and xavier were never together, bianca is not a bully in here (i think thats all)

pairing: xavier thorpe x reader

a/n: i spent maybe 5 mins brainstorming abt the summary :’), but reblogs would help and im literally too embarrassed to read this so i could proofread it but enjoy lol, but check the hashtag #xavizgirl so you can see all my works there ahaha

you and xavier had a fight last week and you haven’t talked to him ever since because he was jealous of a guy he saw you walking to class with,

though it was really stupid, you have to admit you did miss him a lot, you missed his stupid face, how he peppered you with kisses, how he handed you paintings of yourself or one of your favorite things you told him about, cuddling with him almost every night, you just miss him in general.

“hey, do you wanna hang out today? maybe go shopping?” bianca asks

you were too busy staring at a picture with xavier and you in it,

“huh?” you asked cluelessly as you heard muffled noises from her mouth

“let me guess, xavier? you’ve been ranting about the fight between you two for about a week, ya know?” the siren stated

“he’s just so stupid, he didn’t even let me finish what i was trying to say after he pulled me off the fucking guy!” you explained

“well, maybe you should just try confronting the boy. who knows you two just need to talk?” she answers

“well maybe i could do that, but what am i gonna say to him? it’s gonna be so awkward” you whined

“just explain how you’ve been feeling about the fight, how you barely know the guy, and stuff, but it has to be sincere and it has to come from your heart” she advised

“i’ll try my best, thank you bianca, i really owe you for this one okay?” you gave her a smile

“goodluck, y/n!” she gave you a thumbs up

-

you pulled out your phone go text xavier,,

y/n: hey can we talk?

xay: uh sure? why?

y/n: can we plz just talk

xay: ok, when and where

y/n: like rn, and maybe our spot in the woods

xay: ok be there rn

you hearted his message and put your cellphone into your pocket, you were walking in the forest so that you could meed up with xavier and make things right until a large, hairy, grey, big eyes, bloodshot monster stumbled you over, it looked like a beast or some sort of creature. it trapped you and before you knew it, it’s claw’s scratched your skin through your clothes twice and you were a literal bleeding mess. you tried to run as fast as you could and tried to grab your phone so that you could call an ambulance or xavier but realized you have dropped it while running, and that was all you remembered.

xavier was still waiting for you and he was starting to get impatient and think he was getting pranked, he has texted you nonstop and sent you calls but it kept going to voicemail, eventually.. he gave up and tried to go back to nevemore but he saw your unconscious body and you were bleeding.

“y/n? what the fuck!” he screamed as he saw you

“everything’s gonna be fine, everything’s gonna be fine” he said running to your body panicking and immediately called the ambulance

once they have arrived they took you into the truck, while xavier was so awfully worried and kept blaming himself while pacing, bianca and ajax walked up to him and asked what happened,

“it’s y/n.. she got fucking attacked!” the artist cursed

“hey, it’s gonna be alright, okay? the nurses and doctors are gonna make sure she’s gonna make it” ajax calms him down

“and besides, we can also visit her. dont worry, we’re all here for you xavier” the siren added

it has been 3 weeks and you still haven’t woken up, xavier was so stressed, his lips are so dry, he looked like he hasn’t eaten in about a week, and he has very dark eye bags, it was the weekend and he decided to go visit you.

he opened the door and saw that you still haven’t woken up, he sighed and put one of his letters on the table.

“i miss you” he muttered while grabbing your cold hands

“it’s all my fault” the blonde boy sighs

you opened your eyes slowly and saw him tearing up a bit, “xavi..?” you say

“y/n! you’re awake!” he looked up and saw that you were awake so he quickly wiped his tears with his sleeve.

“were you crying, xavi?” you asked and tried to sit up and but felt a pain in your stomach and hissed in pain,,

“fuck!” you cried

“hey, hey, hey, the doctors say your stomach is still not okay, so they don’t recommend sitting for now, yeah? but they say it will heal a bit fast, so you’re gonna be okay, alright?” he dodged your question

“xavi.. you’re ignoring my question” you gave him a frown

“i’m not crying, silly. and even if i was it wouldn’t matter, we need to focus on you right now, bubs” he points to you

“and i kinda want to apologize, for you know.. being jealous and overprotective, i’m the reason you got here..” he says

“don’t blame yourself, i should’ve waited for the next day” you chucked reaching out for his hand

he held your hand and kissed your forehead, “i won’t let anything happen to you, i promise i’m gonna keep you safe, okay?” he assured

------------------------------------------------

i didnt know how to end this and got lazy ahahaha

[party-gilmore]

begging people to pay more attention to the difference between Drug Use, Drug Addiction, and Drug Abuse.

theres a post going around thats been bugging me because theres a lot thats good but one little bit has been nagging at me.

“using a substance/getting high to make a boring, tedious, unpleasant, or otherwise general sucky household chore more bearable/pleasant/entertaining” is regular old Drug USE.

“having to use a substance in order to make yourself even physically/mentally/emotionally capable of doing that unpleasant chore” is Drug ADDICTION.

“using a substance either so dangerous, so frequently, or at such high strength that it becomes a detriment, impacting your health beyond the typical usage of the drug and/or ability to even do the chore” is Drug ABUSE.

These three things are not mutually exclusive. Nor are they mutually inclusive. They can come in any combination. But the key takeaways that bother me most when people dont consider are:

Drug USE is a neutral action. It is a choice. Some people enjoy taking drugs. This is not a moral failing nor is it a Problem. This is just people Enjoying A Thing That You May Or May Not Approve Of, with risky typical side effects that grown ass adults are more than capable of deciding if they want to take that risk and how to take extra precautions to watch for/avoid those concerns. Like getting involved in extreme sports, working in any art/craft with particulate or paint, or driving on the interstate.

Drug ADDICTION is the physical and chemical meed for the drug. it is also a neutral state. it just means your body is reliant on the substance to function in a certain. getting used to and needing caffeine in the morning is an addiction. any long term medication you require is technically an addiction. lets take anti depressants for example. many people never learn to make those hormones on their own and meed to continue taking them. if they stop taking them they go through withdrawal. thats addiction. chronic pain and painkillers. ALSO addiction. and one that gets a REALLY bad reputation. but its a GOOD THING to not be in pain. that addiction is NOT inherently negative

Drug ABUSE is (or at least, SHOULD be) the only inherently negative term in the batch. this is the shit that IS ACTIVELY HURTING you, more than the typical assumed risk, and what most people THINK they’re talking about when they refer to Addiction. Abusing a substance to the point its impacting necessary functionality, judgement, health etc. THIS INCLUDES LEGAL, PRESCRIPTED DRUGS. ONES THAT STRAIGHT EDGE PEOPLE WOULD CONSIDER GOOD. EVEN ADVIL. YOU CAN TAKE TOO MUCH ADVIL TRYING TO CURB MUSCLE OR CRAMP PAIN. IT WILL GIVE YOU STOMACH ULCERS. I DID THIS FOR YEARS EVEN KNOWING THAT, IGNORING DIRECTIONS BECAUSE I JUST WANTED THE PAIN TO STOP SO BAD. THAT IS DRUG ABUSE.

to keep it simple:

Drug Use: the use of a drug. neutral umbrella term

Drug Addiction: take this drug away, and i will go through withdrawl/wont be able to ____ properly

Drug Abuse: while on this drug, i am actively going through health issues/cant ____ properly

If you don’t agree, i dont care and i dont want to hear it in the notes. This is MY take on the matter. I am not opening up debate about “well TECHNICALLY the MEDICAL definition-“ yadd yadd yadda, I am making a flat statement pursuant to something that annoys the shit out of me. If you dont like it, make your own post and leave me out of it.

[sowhatnotcreative]

The word dropping my brain keeps doing makes me feel so stupid i hate it. When i talk or when i type the next word will just be completely gone. And in trying to find the words i forget the point.

Hate this illness. So much. I don't believe that hell could possibly be anything other than this. Only pain and exhaustion and fuckin pity and people asking how are you and then saying "well be as good as you can :/" while simultaneously assuming i can do things i absolutely can not.

" I know you meed us to help you clean and cook but im just gonna leave this pile of clothes here for you to fix with later?" "No you dont need food delivered home because of ur disability lol we can come do it! But also fuck you for making us take care of you! But also i refuse to help get you someone else to do it for you! If you feel so bad why dont you call 911?"

What happened to i will drive you in a wheelchair if it helps you? What happened to I can make you some lunchboxes? No its only "i will totally come help wait no lol i dont want to. No im not busy i just dont want to i think I'll go visit your sister instead tho shes got a dog and isnt depressing."

You complain to the doctor that "we her family have to take care of her for over a year now!" When you know full well you've visited me to help 5 times tops and thats being generous. When it was my sister you knew full well dad only went with her to the doctors appointment once and you wouldn't shut up about it but now all of a sudden you and the family have taken care pf me?

Every single time i ask for help from you you say no! Every single time unless its driving to the doctor? But even then you don't even bother caring if i have food at home because people like you dont go to the store? You dont even step foot inside the door.

I sit and listen to all your bullshit complaining about everyone from sister to dad to your boss but when i have a single negative feeling you're not interested and how DARE I express emotions towards your general direction? Was I judt the first practice child to you? A vent friend since you're too much of an asshole to make real friends?

[imgonnagetkilledbynutstink]

Unpopular opinion and you might get mad at me for this, but as someone who is queer I find it disturbing when people write fanfics where the boys have boyfriends. These are REAL people you’re writing about, not some made up characters, and it almost seems like some of y’all are fetishizing gay relationships. I get that it’s nice to have representation but there are other places to get that, not everything has to be gay and I’m sure it would make the boys so uncomfortable if they ever came across some of the stuff you all write. Stop forcing sexuality on them, even if it’s fictional.

First off: cool, youre allowed to your opinion. But too be fair, if you're going to have an issue with pll writing queer fics of them then keep that energy when ppl write straight fics of them. As long as ppl are writing fics period, then it should go both ways. If the boys ever straight up where like "im straight and it makes me uncomfy" then no people shouldnt be writing it. But we dont know that they're straight. We meed to stop assuming the default is straight or that they are cause weve seen them dating women. Oh and yeah there is plenty of queer sexualization made in these fanbases but it isnt fair to say just any queer fic is sexualizing them or queer ppl especially when its not smut?? One more thing, i promise im almost done, it annoys the heck outta me when ppl say "as a queer person" or "as a nd person" in relation to some of the things i post cause it makes me feel like you dont see my opinion as a queer or nd person valid just cause you dont agree with it. Im not necessarily saying thats what your doing, im just putting it out there in general, dont say that to ppl :/

[his-name-was-robert-paulson3]

My bf offered to take me to Alexian bc i was telling him bout the trouble we havin wit a ride but i dont want him to deal with that. I fucking appreciate him so much he aint gotta do that shit but he willing to just to help me n that makes me so emotional like he really do luv me dont he? 😩 im only going to ask if he can tho only if we really cant get a ride and my mom cant do it cuz her dumbass wanna take days off for dumb shit but cant help me. Cuz who knows when she's able to get another day off and i just cant wait any longer ive been waiting for months for a therapist. Over a year for a good therapist cuz the one i was seeing a while back just sucked n she was so basic it just wasnt working out. I need someone to talk to. I still have so much work to do. So much shit i still need to process. I still havent even got to talk about the last Traumatizing Event with anybody yet. For almost 3 years ive gone without talking about it. I meed to talk about it. I still need to process shit about my mom. And more childhood trauma. I need to talk about how weird and scary it is being in a healthy relationship after being in a toxic one. And just not knowing how to deal with healthy relationships in general because ive grown up with motherfuckers in toxic relationships. My parents. My mom and my step dad. Its like, seeing that shit growing up you dont know what a healthy relationship is. How its supposed to feel. Youve neber seen it before and when you thought things were fine with yojr parents you realize they werent so your whole view of relationships is fucked. I want to learn how to not be toxic. All i know are toxic ways. I dont want to be my parents. I dont want to be my mom. Theres just so mamy things that having a therapist would helpguide me with. Things i cant do a lot of on my own. But its so fuckimg hard to get some damn help.

I really hope i dont have to ask my bf for a ride because i just do fucking not want him to deal with that. And what if they was to hospitalize me while im there? He sitting waiting n shit n then we come out like "sorry your partner is going upstairs" like....i dont think hes had to deal with a partner in a mental health hospital before. Ive told him a lot about my times in inpatient so he knows how it wpuld go. But i dont want him to deal with that? I meam thats gotta be hard as fuck. Seeing your partner like that. It would hurt him. I dont want to hurt him....

[saving-loki-the-family-business]

Did you not realized you followed me until now and are wondering who the fuck this ugly bitch with a super cringey url is on your dash 24/7 bc i never queue anything? Well nows your chance to get to know me. Or scroll past this post. Your call.

Who Tagged Me in this hellgame of oversharing into a vast and mainly unheard empty void known as my blog? @steggy4ever. You can thank her for this. Name: Adrienne. Nickname: My friends call me Dri bc theyre too lazy to say more than one syllable. My parents just scream ADRIENNE like the last scene in Rocky whenever they want me to come downstairs. Which is often. And when I do come down its so I can bring them a second TV remote or call their parents for them. Gender: I use she/ her pronouns. Starsign: Cancer. The sign that looks like its 69ing. When im really lucky Cancers get to be crabs. Riveting. Height: 5'8". A respectable height. Sexual Orientation: Baby bi bi bi. Youre welcome for getting that song stuck in your head. You can never escape justin timberlake. Favourite Character: i mean like everyone else here reblogging 38 variations of the same scene in gif form i go through phases. Right now I like Mickey Milkovich from Shameless the best. He's got the most compelling character arc in all of TV for sure. I love him and I meed him back on the show. Hogwarts House: Slytherin. This still doesnt make sense to me. The Slytherin asshole persona doesnt line up with my asshole persona. Im more of a lazy Griffindor mixed with an aloof Ravenclaw. Favourite Colour: I really dont know Favourite Animal: Any dog thats ever been born. Average Hours of Sleep: Not enough. Cat or Dog person: 🐶 Number of Blankets I sleep with: 2 blankets that are way to hot but like I need them to protect me from ghosts and potential home intruders. Favourite Singer/Band: Anyone who knows me knows I love jazz and classical music like an aristocratic snob with a monocle. My faves are Mingus, Tchaikovsky and Beethoven. Dream Trip: A one way trip to space to colonize a new planet and teach a whole generation of space kids about the bad tv shows i waste my life watching. Dream Job: Because i have no concept of finances and I want to live the rest of my life like a poor yet pretentious asshole, I'm going to school to study jazz bass. When was your blog created: Not long ago to justify how far I've fallen. Current number of followers: 355. Mainly porn blogs robots but nonetheless thanks everyone for reblogging all of my highly selective content that is the pinnacle of culture. What made you decide to join tumblr: Tbh i have no friends and appreciate using outdated memes to avoid facing my depression. Also the three friends i do have were all like "you should come suffer on this hellhole of a website with us" and it sounded like a compelling offer so i did. If you made it to the end of this post thats shocking. You must be really bored. How about you answer all these questions now yourself and i'll pretend to read and remember your responses. @rustydaggers @acetonystark @idkaylaaa @bucketfairies

[thesedamnthoughtsofmine]

You know what's fucked up?

With my knowledge about drugs, watching my cousin struggle to recover through addiction, and losing my best friend to heroin, I am craving them. Maybe not heroin in particular, but drugs in general. That's so fucked up, right? I shouldn't have a craving for doing drugs. I shouldn't. That's crazy. But here's the thing. I have been working my ass off lately with the millions of healthy coping skills that I have gathered from my experience of being depressed and anxious and lemme tell you, they are temporary. I can't workout forever. I can't watch netflix forever. So when I put down these good coping skills, my sadness and misery returns. It doesn't go away for long. I have ti face the music when I put my tools down. Then I feel worse. I meed something that will last. I want to feel numb. I don't want to feel any of this anymore. I'm tired. I watched maybe 9 hours watch netflix today, 1 hour eating dinner, 1 hour working out. I helped michaela with classes and had my interview and that took an hour. That was my whole day. I had little time to be sad. But its 2 am and I realize i should get to bed, but now I'm sad. Really sad. I dont want to go to bed. Mostly because i know im gonna wake up in the morning and have to be sad again. I have to face the world again. I should be happy right now, right? I know. I got this ra position. Trust me, im thrilled. But it doesnt bring my dead friend back to life or my family to a funtioning scale. It doesnt take away my boyfriends and my friends depression. It doesnt make my friend any less likely to kill himself when he gets the chance. This one good thing does not override all the shitty things going on right now. I wish it would. So whil i should be happy today, im not. Because i was still raped. My uncle still has cancer. My friend is still dead. My cousin is still an addict. My mom is still an awful person. My dad is still a arrogant and ignorant man. My boyfriend is still sad every day. My friend is still having family issues. I am still sad. And I'm not sure I can keep going on like this. Why do I have to suffer in silence? My boyfriend even puts a stigma on all of this. He doesnt wanna hear when im low. So i cant tell him my feelings. I cant tell my friends. They get flustered and just say repeatedly how they dont know what to say or do. NEWS FLASH. I KNOE THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO. I want to talk to a real life human about my thoughts and get validated that im not a fucking psycho. There is only one person who does that and thats when he isnt in a low place himself. Which is rare. I just want everythibg to be okay. I just want my best friend back.