#but mum im not chewing them! im just COLLECTING them

[sidetongue]

He makes his own treasure hunt and collects things in the backyard. 

[wizkiddx]

supercluster

this is my entry for @hollandsrecs 'toms birthday fanfic fest' event - go check it out!!! I know its a early but im v bored so have it now. also im acc kinda really proud of this one, any feedback would be v appreciated 🤍

the prompt was: 'you and tom are best friends and you tell him that you love him on his birthday'

summary: its toms birthday but he has a few things to get off his chest and into the night sky, y/n joins in with a bit of a revelation too

best friends -> lovers

warnings: mentions of alcohol, bit angsty but promise ends all fluffy and a shit tonne of dialogue

wc: 3.5k ishhh

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Everything got a little too wild and stuffy in the living area, Haz and Harry screaming sweet caroline, whilst Greg (Tom’s stunt man) was pouring *another* round of shots. The sweatiness and clamminess of the room meant Y/n took a moment to escape, sliding out the double doors, and closing them softly behind her to ensure no one would notice her little escape. Something about the midnight air, the slightly dewy smell of the neighbouring fields, felt like it was refreshing Y/n from the inside out. When she turned around, back facing the fancy rented house, she was slightly shocked by Tom standing in the garden. It was his birthday party after all. In all honesty, Y/n felt a bit guilty she hadn’t noticed he wasn’t in the thick of it with his brothers and castmates.

His silhouette was set against the clear night sky, the stars extra prominent this evening and the moon casting a soft glow off the left side of his face, exaggerating the natural contours of his jawline and cheekbones. Clearly, he was enraptured by the sky, staring up at it with a thoughtful look on his face.

And Y/n recognised that look instantly; she knew what he was doing.

In fact, he had taught her to do precisely the same thing. As kids, the Hollands, Y/n’s family and another two families from the local area all went camping together. It was an annual event, ‘the Kingston collective camping adventure’ as Dom had named it. Y/n couldn’t remember a year when they hadn’t gone actually - it was that much of a tradition.

One year, though, when she and Tom were about 9, her mothers’ due date coincided with the camping dates. So, sensibly, the decision had been made that Y/n and her brother would just be looked after by the Hollands - whilst her mum and dad were safely tucked up in bed at home, awaiting the arrival of her littlest brother.

Y/n, her brother Alex, and Tom were all sharing a tent, and it must’ve been at least midnight that Tom was awoken by shuffling and zipping up of the tent. He’d realised she was gone through sleepy eyes and, without a second thought, went to go find her. Sure enough, she wasn’t far away, not even 50 metres from the tent, crouched on the grass. Immediately Tom’s presence had been noticed, making Y/m quickly snivel and wipe her face.

“Are you upset?”

“Go away Tom.” The comment didn’t do a lot, though; instead, 9-year-old Tom had planted himself down next to her - his pyjamas getting wet on the moist grass floor.

“Are you missing Auntie Sarah and Uncle Mike?” In the same way that Y/n called Nikki and Dom auntie and uncle, the Holland boys mirrored the nicknames for her parents. Y/n replied with a long sigh before hiccuping, failing to control the stream of tears. Yes, he was right - this was her first night away from her parents- but she wasn't about to spill her heart out to the 'stupid boy' who had stolen one of her marshmallows that evening. Tom’s little brown eyes swelled, looking slightly terrified and out of his depth, whilst with all his 9 years of wisdom, trying to come up with an answer.

“Do you want to play football to forget about it?”

Unsurprisingly Y/n shook her head violently. Tom cursed inwardly at himself for saying the wrong thing, apparently football wasn't the answer to everything. The two children went back to silence until Tom had the metaphorical light bulb moment. “My mum told me something for when I got to sleepovers? Look!” He grabbed Y/n’s little hand, extending it upwards towards the night sky.

“No matter where you are, you’re all looking at the same stars too, right?”

Tom jumped a little before looking over his shoulder and recognising Y/n with the softest smile that grew across his face. Y/n slowly walked to his side, arms crossed over her chest to try and keep the cold at bay, joining Tom in staring up at the starry expanse.

“How do you always know?” Tom spoke in a breathy chuckle, shaking his head slightly. It was true, she did always know - but his question was somewhat irrelevant. They'd spent most their childhood together, they were as easy to read as a children’s book to each other.

“Missing home?”

“Sort of, I got my own slice of home with the boys and-and you but… pads, mum dad yeh, feel like on your birthday your always supposed to see your family.”

Although Harry, Harrison, Sam and Y/n had managed to fly out to surprise Tom on his birthday- prior commitments meant his parents and youngest brother hadn’t been able to make it. They four arrived yesterday, greeted by a very shocked and pretty emotional Tom - who had clearly been missing the sense of home somewhat. He’d been away shooting a film, then straight away launching into press for the next spiderman movie. It had been a long while since he’d been in London - half a year in fact.

This time too, he’d been away without a single family member or friend - that was another truth he’d learnt about growing up. Your friends and family, they all get lives of their own. Tom used to be a trailblazer, the first to get a job, the one everyone was super proud of. They still were, of course, but didn’t dote on him in quite the same way - everyone had their own shit to deal with. It was yet another reason Tom wasn’t welcoming his birthday as much as he usually would.

“Your parents did always spoil you rotten.”

“They spoilt you worst and you’re not technically their kid.” Y/n rolled her eyes, even if it might slightly true - muttering a ‘touche’ at the brown-haired boy next to her. Their families had always been close; naturally the adults seemed to gravitate more to the kids that weren’t their own. The ones who you could ‘give back’ at the end of the day. It just so happened Nikki and Dom had always loved having Y/n around, maybe a bit more than anyone else.

“Have you had a good birthday then? You should be in there with Greg pouring that shitty vodka down your throat.” Y/n questioned, whilst shrugging back toward the house, the dull thump of Jacob's playlist just audible. Still, both stared upwards, standing close enough that their upper arms were both pressed up against each other. She expected a jovial answer, but even from his tone, it was evident there was something up. He sounded…weary?

“I’m bloody glad you all came...don’t get me wrong, I love Z and Jacob and everyone but….”

“Shitty week?”

“Shitty birthday week of promo and press.” Tom scathed, and Y/n nodded. Even if she couldn’t understand what was so bad about press, she knew that Tom hated it passionately. And in the same way, he loved all his castmates dearly, but they hadn’t known him his whole life. They didn’t understand why he did every little thing; their values lay just that bit apart. It just wasn’t the same as being surrounded with his family - you and Harrison adopted Hollands too.

“I just feel like I’ve spent all week trapped in a room answering the most stupid, irrelevant and inconsequential questions... Everything’s just so surface level and fake and, and I-“He cut himself off, for the first time meeting Y/n’s eyes. In all honesty, Tom got a bit caught up in the stars reflecting off her piercing y/e/c eyes before changing tack.

“Will you do me a favour?”

This wasn’t spoken with the normal Tom tone. It wasn’t joking or jovial; it wasn’t an ‘off the tongue’ thing. This was spoken with such seriousness and gravitas coming from his deep voice that Y/n replied equally truthfully.

“Always T, you know that.”

“Will you please ask me a personal and serious and deep question?”

She got where he was coming from too.

Clearly, even though the evening was supposed to be a light piss up in celebration, it had instead unearthed some darker thoughts that Tom had been harbouring away. Perhaps he never even realised he needed such seriousness, or perhaps with his castmates he hadn’t felt comfortable exposing himself like that. Either way, Y/n was going to respect him now. It was technically his birthday, too; the clocks had already struck 12 - it was now his day.

It wasn’t tricky to think of one; she’d often wondered the same question of him - never with the opportunity to ask. The question popped into her head again, almost as soon as Tom asked for one.

“Okay…. What’s your deepest regret that makes you feel guilty for feeling because in the grand scheme of things, it minor? Like such a 'first world problem'." What do you regret that’s just completely selfish?”

Tom immediately stiffened, his jaw tensing as he worked through his thoughts in his head. Scared she’d pushed it too far, Y/n averted her gaze back to the sky, chewing her bottom lip slightly. It took a moment, but then she saw Tom turn towards her, in the peripheries of her vision. With a tightly closed-lip smirk on his face he joked “If your gonna ask questions like that, we better sit down.”

And so they did, both sitting crossed legged on the ground, knees brushing against each other. Just on the grass lawn, almost mirroring themselves all those years ago as kids in that camping site. Y/n wondered if she should offer to play football instead - to cheer him up.

“Missing out. I miss out months at a time. Miss out on seeing mum and dad, miss out on the pub quizzes with the boys, miss out seeing you… I mean, I didn’t even know you had a new job until you mentioned it this morning. I miss out on time with nana Tess and all my grandparents, and that’s scary cos… well, every time I go, it could be the last time… I don’t know, I just… I get so much, get to travel, to see the world, but… sometimes it feels like I’m sacrificing the foundations. And without the foundations….”

“The walls come crumbling down.” Y/n finished off his sentence quietly, barely whispering the words - but from Tom’s nod of agreement, it seemed like she’d hit the nail on the head. There was silence for a beat till Y/n whispered to him.

“Well, happy birthday to you” Trying to bring the mood up a little, she bumped his shoulder, and Tom chuckled breathily.

“Seriously! This is helping me out. I-I just need to get everything out and start my 25th year fresh.”

“Hey, if that’s all you want, I’m getting a refund on my present- we can just get deep and interview each other.”

“I’m game, except I’m keeping the present too.”

“Just because it’s your birthday and I’m a bit tipsy, I’ll allow it.”

“Okay, well then, Y/n L/n”, He spoke formally, leaning in closer and making her giggle a little. “What’s your biggest regret?”

“Honestly?” Tom just repeated her in reply, but this time it was a statement.

"Honestly."

He really was going deep too. No holding back now. Y/n sucked on her cheek before replying. “Not travelling with you when we were 19… I was just so determined to get to uni and start grown-up life, but… well, grown-up life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I should’ve tried to stay a kid longer, messing about on your film sets and pretending it was work. I think I would’ve learnt more from seeing the world with you.”

“Well, I am very knowledgable.”

“Shut up, you drop out- who didn't know what a drag race was.” She wasn’t wrong, and whilst yes, he had dropped out to be a film star - he was still a dropout. (with exceptionally poor knowledge of RuPaul) He scowled, then leaning back on his hands, so he was half reclined on the grass as Y/n thought of her next question.

“Whats your biggest worry?”

“Easy.” He chuffed, making Y/n furrow her brows at him. Clearly, he’d already thought of this. “That I finally settle down with the love of my life, and then the fans or press or paps ruin it.”

It made sense; every time Tom had gone public with a relationship, it had ended in a minor car crash. Typically it was also the girl who got hurt; she was the ‘victim’ in everything. Though Y/n had seen first hand the effect it had had on Tom - he never made it out damage-free.

“You make it sound like you’ve already got this dream girl queued and waiting.”

“I wish”, Tom sighed, as Y/n took the opportunity to completely lie down on the grass, staring up at the dark abyss. She’d always loved the stars and had become a bit of a geek on them as they’d grown up too- and maybe it was all down to Tom on that camping trip. Following suit, Tom copied her, his head resting on his hands that were crossed behind his head, taking in the moment of pure peace as they lay on the grass.

“You see that bright one there?” Pointing up, Y/n shimmied closer to him so that he definitely saw the same thing as her. “It’s actually not one. Look closer.” Humming, Tom shifted a bit closer, so her shoulder slotted under the side of his body just the teeniest bit. It meant he could follow her direction and squinted up at the little patch of the sky.

“ 5…maybe 6? What is it?”

“The pliedes supercluster…. basically a big group of stars that all were born from the same place- the same stellar nursery.”

“But they’re moving now?” She hummed in confirmation to his question, briefly glancing at the way his eyes were fixed on the sky. For the first time he seemed genuinely interested in hearing her stories of the stars. It usually was an eye roll and ‘you’re so lame’.

“They’re called the sibling stars… like everything in life, as they get older they drift apart but…. but to us down here? They’ll always be associated together because they have a gravitational effect on each other. They’ll always have their thing tying them together. Like an invisible string.”

“Sounds like you’re being metaphorical.” Tom chuckled, expecting a taunt back but receiving nothing except a gentle agreement.

“Theres also actually 7. The last one people can only sometimes see… it’s a pulsing star, so comes and goes.”

“They do that?”

“Yeh, and no matter what… if you can see it or not, it’s always there. Always having an impact on its family.”

Biting his lower lip slightly, Tom repositioned his head slightly, Y/n’s words taking time to be fully absorbed. He was sure she was making parallels to him. Barely there, appearing and disappearing, but always a part of the family.

“You are being metaphorical.”

“Maybe.” She whispered shortly. “Metaphors depend on who’s listening and if they draw parallels to their own life. It’s subjective. You can’t tell anyone what is and isn’t metaphor…. it takes the beauty out of it.”

“Right, sure... But if you were…. me, harry, Sam, pads, you, Haz, Tuwaine? That the 7?” Y/n held back the little smile at his words. Tom wasn’t as ‘head in the clouds’ as she was- he was literal. Also, he was bloody stubborn when he wanted to be.

“I wasn’t being metaphorical T.” He knew she was lying. She knew that he knew. But it still helped him, made him feel a bit better. That he was always, in some way, having some effect... lives always intertwined with the people he cared about the most.

“Tell me another story about another star.”

Time for the rest of the night kind of got lost. The two young adults just lay on the grass, entirely in their own little world, using each others body heat to keep themselves warm through the early hours. Neither felt remotely tired, Y/n whispering her little stories of both the myths and science of the old stars, pointing out each planet. Meanwhile, Tom listened in awe, for once not taking the mick out of her incredibly geeky hobby. Instead, he found himself getting fascinated by all the little intricacies Y/n was so passionate about.

It was only when the stars began to fade, as orangey-red hue started to seep up from the horizon the either noticed the time. It was now the morning of the next day, the house long since had turned silent behind them - presumably, everyone finally passing out shit faced.

As the stars’ light was overtaken by the rising sun, Y/n ran out of stories; the two settled into silence - neither quite ready to go to bed yet.

“It’s still my turn,” Tom spoke into the sky before pivoting his head to look Y/n in the eye, seeing the confusion in her furrowed brows. “It’s my question to ask. My turn.”

“Aren’t you sick of my voice yet?” There was absolutely no reason that they were both whispering. It wasn’t like anyone was trying to listen or that they’d disturb anyone else my talking normally. But it was nicer that way. It felt calming... intimate even.

“One more. And then you get one more… and then we really should probably go to bed.” He didn’t want the night to end; he was immensely enjoying this weird grey time between being 25 and 26. But it was cold, Tom could tell Y/n had started to feel it a little more. To be fair, she was only in a floral day dress, not much in the way of warmth. With a hum of agreement, Y/n smiled lightly at him, urging his question.

“Whats the biggest secret you’ve kept from me?”

With a bit of a scoff, Y/n sighed and closed her eyes, trying to draw some strength she wasn’t sure she had. It wasn’t like she needed to wrack her brains to come up with it - she knew instantly. Almost painfully too.

“Uhm, honestly?” Now even more intrigued, Tom nodded, using his foot for nudge hers - encouraging her to speak. “Probably how much you mean to me.”

“Oh” He couldn’t help it; the sound just slipped out his mouth without checking with his brain first. That answer had just been so unexpected. He had honestly been thinking that it would be something about how ‘fame had changed him’. After hearing that, Y/n turned her head up the sky again, feeling like her cheeks were on fire with embarrassed heat. Tom knew he had fucked up.

“No, I… I didn’t mean- just just ask me too.” With a sigh, Y/n waved off his stumbled answer as he tried to cover himself.

“This is stup-“

“Ask me!” For the first time in 5 hours, Tom spoke at an normal volume - but it felt painfully loud, like a shout.

“What’s the biggest secret you kept from me?” Her tone was defeated, but nevertheless, he answered.

“How upset I was when you didn’t come when we were 19. I got why, but it was still annoying. Felt like you were picking uni friends over me-“ At this point on any other evening, Y/n would have interjected and argued. None of this situation was normal, though, so she chose to hear him out. “- I know it’s stupid, but…. I guess that’s how much you meant an-and still mean to me too.”

There was silence for a couple minutes, waiting whilst the sun started to peep over the horizon, the lone witness to an otherwise very private conversation. That was until Y/n barely spoke, more like mouthed 2 simple words.

“I lied.” The intensity of the way Tom stared at her made Y/n wish that the sun hadn’t been so bright, that they were back in the darkness that hid her face more. “Biggest lie I’ve told you … that I’m not in love with you.”

Y/n didn’t see because she couldn’t face looking at him, but Tom’s face erupted into the most prominent, toothiest smile. Whilst Tom was enjoying the moment of being absolutely ecstatic, Y/n was waiting for a response- feeling her world come crashing in. That she'd just destroyed one of the most important friendships in her life too.

But then he said the opposite of what she thought he would.

“I lied too.”

That had her attention, whipping her head toward him as Tom rolled onto his side on the lawn, balancing with his head resting on one hand. “I lied that I’ve not been completely under your spell since we were kids at that campsite, and you were homesick.”

Y/n’s heart was literally in her mouth, brain overwhelmed but one overriding thought oh so bloody clear.

She’d lost control of everything, arching up to mirror Tom. Using one hand, she reached out to cup Tom’s jaw, to which he instinctively leant toward - until their lips were mere centimetres apart, hot breath fanning over each other.

Y/n no control as she whispered those 3 words against his lips. No control at how immediately after he pressed his to hers; no control as Tom guided her to roll on top of him, knees either side of his torso as his strong arms wrapped around her back.

Once again, time was lost between the two, only pulling apart when their lungs burned for oxygen.

“For the record, I love you too.” Grinning from ear to ear, Tom used one hand to gently stroke his thumb across her cheek, switching his focus from her left to right eye - in wonder at how the early morning sun reflected from her y/e/c irises. He’d always thought she was beyond beautiful, but when she was this close to him, with the sun rising behind her in such a way - she looked damn ethereal.

“Happy birthday T.” Nodding in agreement, Tom chuckled before finding her lips once again, whispering against them.

“Yeh, happy damn birthday to me.”

~~~~let me know what you think ;) ~~~~~

tagging: @hallecarey1 @hollandfanficlove @crossyourpeter

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Promises Not Kept Part 29

Summary: Tommy Shelby made a promise to Jonah Ward while in the war. A promise he didn't keep. But it comes to haunt him when he tries to drown out his sorrows with a young woman.

Part 29: While spending time in Margate, Leah realizes the sacrifices she needs to make to protect her children.

         “Cyril, sit. Sit…Cyril, sit. Sit, now, sit!” Charlie frowned and gestured wildly at the mastiff who merely stared at him, drooling slightly. “See, he doesn’t listen to me. He only listens to dad.”

           Alfie walked over. “You need to make sure he knows you’re serious, mate. Look ‘im in the eye and say it with authority. You ain’t yelling, you’re being firm. Cyril, sit.”

           Charlie was amazed when the dog’s rump instantly dropped to the floor. His tail wagging.

           “Dogs are loyal creatures, they like being told what to do. Gotta be the leader. They were bred from wolves, ya know that right?” Alfie scratched Cyril behind the ears to praise him.

           “Yeah.”

           “So, you’ve gotta be the pack leader. If he were the pack leader nothing would get done, silly boy that he is.” Alfie chuckled.

           Charlie smiled and looked at his dog. “Are you gonna take him back when we leave, Alfie?” It had been weighing on the young boy the entire week they’d been at Margate. He did his best to show that he was taking good care of the dog.

           “Has he got a warm bed in Warwickshire?”

           Charlie nodded.

           “Two meals a day?”

           Another nod.

           “You and your sister play with him?”

           Nod.

           “Then why on Earth would I take him back, aye?” Alfie tousled Charlie’s hair and went to sit back down in his armchair. "If you take such good care of him, wouldn't be fair to take him away from you."

           “Because he was your dog. That’s what dad said.” Charlie crouched down beside Cyril to pet him.

           “Nah, mate, he’s been with you long enough. He’s your mutt now.” Alfie assured him.

           The front door opened and Johanna came running inside. “Hi!” She greeted the maid first, then Cyril, her brother, and finally Alfie.

           “Back from the shops?” Alfie smiled at the little girl.

           Leah came in after her daughter. The trip to the little town half a mile away had taken up a good chunk of the afternoon. It was Wednesday, a week after they’d arrived at Margate. There wasn’t much news from Tommy so they remained in limbo. Purgatory, as he’d so aptly called it earlier. All Leah could do was keep the children occupied and keep her mind off of the mess they were avoiding in Birmingham.

           Nights were the hardest. Once the kids were asleep, Leah had a hard time staying up and coping with the what-ifs. She lent a lot of her remaining sanity to Alfie who would stay up all hours of the night even if she didn’t ask him to. An outside opinion, the man provided better insight than she could’ve anticipated. Maybe partially losing his eyesight and spending his days reading the Torah gave him clarity. Or maybe they were all just driven mad.

           “Mrs. Shelby, your husband called half an hour earlier. I said you’d return the call when you and Johanna came back.” Alfie’s maid informed her.

           “Oh, yes, thank you. I’ll call him back right now.” Leah entered the parlor. “Charlie, Johanna, I’m going to call daddy if you’d like to say hello.”

           The two children followed her to the phone in Alfie’s study which was very rarely used. Not like in the days when he used to bring paperwork from the bakery on holiday with him. No, most of those documents had been burned. All that was left were more oddities that he collected. An egg that suspiciously looked like a Fabergé, a collection of shark teeth that he’d found on the beach, and peacock plumes.

           Johanna cuddled up on Leah’s lap as she called for Tommy. Charlie lingered by the desk but appeared more interested in the things Alfie had in his office instead of the impending phone call.

           “Hello, daddy!” Johanna chirped as Leah handed her the phone first once Tommy picked up.

           “Charlie, come say hello,” Leah whispered softly and beckoned for the young boy.

           He looked at the phone but balked and shook his head.

           As Johanna babbled on, answering Tommy’s questions about her day, Leah frowned. “Charles, don’t be silly and get over here, now.”

           He got a sour look on his face and backed away from the desk.

           “Charles Shelby, come just say hello.” She reiterated strictly.

           His face clouding over, he turned on his heel and left the office. Startled by her mother’s snap, Johanna stopped talking to Tommy. “Mummy…”

           “It’s okay, let me talk to daddy.” Leah took the phone from her daughter and shooed her out of the room.

           “Leah?” Tommy hadn’t heard the argument with Charlie.

           “He doesn’t want to even say hello to you.”

           There was a pause. “Who?”

           “Your son!

           “Oh, well, that’s okay. I can speak to him later.” Tommy didn’t seem too bothered. He’d been scorned by his son before, he chalked it up to just being a bratty Shelby child. He’d been a similar way once before. Maybe even still.

           Leah sighed and put her head in her hands. “I can’t keep holding everything together Tommy.”

           “There’s nothing for you to hold together, love, I’m going to make everything better. You can bring the kids home and it’ll all be okay.”

           There was so much she wanted to say. So much she wanted to shout at him or cry to him about. All the worries and anxious thoughts that kept her up late at night. The thoughts she could somehow disclose to Alfie Solomons but couldn’t tell her own husband. “How are you?” She whispered quietly.

           They were both putting on facades for each other over the phone. Tommy had just set off an explosion, breaking out his mentally ill war buddy with intent to make him an assassin again. But he wasn’t sure who would be listening to his phone lines so he couldn’t tell his wife. “I’m doing alright.”

           She swallowed and closed her eyes. “Do you miss me?”

           “What sort of question is that?”

           With a tearful scoff, she shook her head. “A valid one.”

           “Why wouldn’t I miss the only person who gives me any sort of peace?” He replied.

           A few tears slipped down Leah’s cheeks. “Tom, please.” She whispered. “What would I do if something happened to you?”

           Tommy knew that he could keep telling her the same thing over and over again. Nothing would happen to him. He’d be alright and soon enough they’d all be home together again. But it always reached a point when they just became words and words became meaningless. If they had limited time together, why would they waste that time with meaningless words?

           “Love, can you go get Alfie?” Tommy asked. "I'd like to speak with him about something."

           Leah wiped her tears. “Yeah, okay.” She rested the phone on the desk and left the office to find Alfie.

~~~~~~~~~

           Johanna was playing with the new doll they’d bought on their trip to the shops. Charlie had his back turned to them, sitting on the balcony with the gold-plated binoculars. Alfie was reading in his usual spot, Cyril wandering back and forth between him and Charlie.

           “Alfie, Tommy was wondering if he could speak with you?”

           The man looked surprised but nodded. “'Course.” He patted Cyril and went to the study.

           Leah sat and chewed on her lower lip. She looked to Charlie but decided there was no use in arguing with him anymore. All she wanted was to make sure if they lost Tommy, Charlie would never have any regrets. He wouldn’t be haunted by that single phone call. The one he could’ve said hello to his father for the last time but didn’t. But the boy was too young to understand that.

           “Mum?” To Leah’s surprise, Charlie broke the silence in the parlor. She assumed that he would sulk and pout the rest of the day away without speaking a word to her or anyone else.

           “Yes?”

           “Who’s that down there?” He pointed to the beach below the balcony.

           She stood up and went to see who he was talking about. “I’m not sure, love. Just someone passing-” There wasn’t much chance to see what the man looked like. All she saw was him lift a rifle and point up towards the balcony.

           Reacting quickly, Leah grabbed Charlie by the collar and tore him backward. Johanna screamed when the loud bang went off. The bullet went through the parlor and hit the opposite wall. Heart pounding, Leah grabbed her daughter and shielded her children with her body. Another shot went off, hitting a glass cabinet above their heads. Johanna was wailing in fear over Leah as she whispered the Lord’s Prayer to them and her unborn child.

           One more bang went off and everything went silent. Heavy footsteps entered the parlor.

           “S’alright.” Alfie came in with a pistol tucked in his waistband. He helped Leah and the children up. “S’alright.”

           Leah sat on the floor with Johanna in her arms. She hushed her softly, rocking her back and forth to soothe her.

           Charlie wandered over to the balcony. The man was still there but he was on his back, the rifle had fallen away from his hand. Dark red seeped from his head into the damp sand beneath him. He couldn’t look away from the dead body.

           Alfie came up behind the young boy. He placed a spent bullet, the one that had landed in the cabinet, in the boy’s hand. “Here. C’mon now. I’ll have Maggie make you something to eat.”

           Charlie nodded silently and followed Alfie to the kitchen like a zombie. Passing by his distraught sister and his spooked mother. He sat in front of the jam sandwich placed in front of him but he didn’t eat.

~~~~~~~~~

           It was a miracle the children went down for the night. Johanna didn’t know any better. She was just spooked by the loud noises. Charlie was in a daze for the rest of the night and went to bed without saying much. He closed his eyes but couldn’t fall asleep, little to Leah’s knowledge.

        The woman was too worked up to really tell if he was asleep or not. She paced in the parlor about ready to tear her hair out. “He’s lied to me so many times. He lies and he lies and he lies.” She ranted over and over again.

        Alfie sat in the room with his gun at hand just in case. He’d done a good few rounds around his land making sure there wasn’t anyone else straggling. As he got rid of the body, he took note of the man’s identification. Perhaps he was just a lone wolf looking to get even. Maybe he’d heard of Alfie’s resurrection. Maybe he’d followed Leah and the children to Margate.

        Leah didn’t seem to care what the reason was. She was sick of feeling like they were in danger everywhere they turned to. “No more.” She stopped in her tracks. “No more.”

        Alfie could see her resolve was breaking. The hope she held out for Tommy Shelby. “What are you gonna do then? What’s your goal?” He asked her the same question he’d asked days before.

        “My children come first.” She insisted. “Not Tommy Fucking Shelby.” She spat. “I will not have their lives put at risk. They deserve to grow up safe and happy.” Tears filled her eyes.

        “So, what are you gonna do?”

        “I’m leaving.” The words came out before she could really process them. “I’m leaving…I’m going somewhere else. Somewhere far…America. I’ll go to America if it means keeping them safe.” She wiped her eyes. “His actions won’t put them in danger anymore, I won’t let him.”

        Alfie nodded but didn’t say anything else. He simply let her sit with the idea.

        Leah wrung her hands together and let out a gasp of air. “Tell me I’m crazy.”

        He simply shrugged. “Not my decision to make.” He pointed up to the ceiling. “I leave that shit up to God.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

        In the morning, Leah had all the bags packed. She didn’t call Tommy to tell him they were leaving Margate. Instead, she called Polly and headed to her flat in London.

        “Up you go then, thata girl.” Alfie helped Johanna into the backseat of the car. “And there goes Cyril. And last but not least, Mr. Charles.”

        Charlie looked up at the man. “Are we gonna see you again soon, Alfie?” He asked quietly.

        “I should hope so, mate. You, your sister and Cyril can come visit anytime mum says it’s okay.” Alfie smiled and tousled the boy’s hair.

        Leah walked up to Alfie after he shut the car door. “I can’t thank you enough. I’m sorry to leave on such short notice. And I don’t mean to have Tommy give you any grief for what I’ve done.”

        “I can handle whatever grief Tommy wants to fucking give me. Now you remember that this is his battle he’s fighting. Ain’t yours and it ain’t the kids’ either.”

        “Thank you, Alfie.” She kissed his cheek and went to get in the car.

        “Bye, Mr. Alfie!” Johanna called out the window.

        Alfie waved to them as the car pulled out of the drive. He wandered back inside and waited for the phone to ring and for Tommy Shelby to rain hell down upon him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Leah promised Polly that she would sit on the decision for a few days. Besides, it would take a few days to secure a ticket to America. Tommy wouldn’t know they were with her. Instead, he assumed they were still in Margate. Alfie sent a telegram to Tommy in Leah’s name saying that the phone line had gone down and it would be a few days before it would be operating again.

        “I’m so sorry, Pol,” Leah whispered.

        It was day three of their stay at Polly’s. Leah had made up her mind. The children were packed to go to America with her. The tickets were booked and she didn’t intend on going back on her plan.

        Polly and Leah were sat in the kitchen. Johanna had fallen asleep in Leah’s arms. Charlie had already retired to bed for the night. In the morning, they would be on their way to the docks. Leah still wasn’t sure how she would tell them that Tommy wouldn’t be accompanying them.

        “Why are you apologizing?” Polly asked.

        “Because I’m taking the children away from you and the rest of the family. It’s not right I know-”

        “A mother’s intuition is never wrong.” Polly touched Leah’s shoulder and gave her a firm look. “Why should I blame you for wanting to keep them safe from harm? If you think this is best, then it’s best.”

        Leah bit her lip to try and hold back her tears. “Tommy’ll be so angry with me.”

        “Maybe he should have seen this coming.” Polly mused. “He can’t play God and think that everything will be okay.”

        Leah listened to Johanna’s soft breathing against her shoulder. “I love him, but I can’t sacrifice my children for him. It was so close, Pol. If I hadn’t been there…” The words were caught in her throat. She couldn’t get the haunting thought out of her head. What could’ve been if she hadn’t pulled him away in time?

        Charlie laying in the parlor, blood seeping into the carpet. There would be nothing she could do. He would be gone before she could even react.

        Polly hushed her softly and handed her a handkerchief. “But you were there. And you’re here now with them. Trust that you know what’s best for them and follow that path.”

~~~~~~~~~~

        So, Leah did. Polly gave her the necessary funds to make do in America. Johanna was still asleep in Leah’s arms as they boarded the ship. There was a chill in the air so Leah kept her head down. Charlie stuck close to her, holding onto her skirt so he wouldn’t get lost in the crowd.

        “Mum, dad’s not coming with us, is he?” He asked quietly once they were settled in their cabin on the ship.

        Leah set Johanna down on the bed so she could nap. “No, poppet. We can’t be with him right now. I’m sorry.” She replied, trying to keep her voice steady and calm. But every nerve in her body was on alert. Part of her wanted to turn around and run back to Tommy. Part of her wanted to never go back.

        He nodded slowly and stepped onto a piece of luggage to look out the porthole. There was nothing but the ocean ahead of him. When he thought Leah wasn’t paying attention, he reached into his pocket. The bullet Alfie had given him safely tucked away. It was odd, but he knew why they were leaving without Tommy. He knew why they couldn’t stay. His father shot things. Sometimes things shot back.

~~~~~~~~~~

        Tommy allowed the charade of the phone line excuse to go on for three days. The day Leah left with the children; he began asking questions. The telegrams were starting to sound very unlike his wife. In fact, there were some clues that Alfie Solomons was the author.

        Tommy was livid. He delayed his meeting with Barney to drive to Polly’s. Only a stop before he intended to go to Margate and make sure Alfie Solomons hadn’t done away with his family.

        “It’s been three days, the fucking telegrams aren’t being written by her.” Tommy stormed into Polly’s flat unannounced.

        Polly had been waiting for her nephew to catch up to things. “Tommy, sit down.” She requested firmly.

        Tommy’s eyes were wild as he turned to her. Something was up, he knew it was. “Where are they?”

        “Sit down.”

        Nerves frayed, he had no desire to sit down and be talked to like a child. “Where are my fucking children?!” He roared.

       So,  Polly stood up instead. “They’ve left. Leah’s taken them to Boston.” She told him point-blank.

        So many emotions hit the man all at once. “Fuck!” He shouted and looked for something to break.

        Instead, Polly grabbed him by the arm before he could make any sudden or destructive movements. “Don’t you understand what you’ve been doing to her? What this has done to the children?”

        “She can’t take them away from me!”

        “Charlie was nearly shot in the fucking face, Thomas!” Polly shouted back at him.

        It was as if a bucket of ice water had been thrown over him. It was news to him. Since the gunman was killed, no information had gotten back to him. No ransom notes or threats.

        “Alfie wasn’t sure who it was but he found the house and shot at Charlie while he was on the balcony. The only reason he survived was because Leah pulled him out of the way.”

        Tommy’s muscles began to give out on him. His aunt pulled up a chair for him and guided him into it when she saw it looked like he was about to keel over. “She felt backed into a corner, she wanted to keep the children safe.”

        He put his head in his hands. The weight of his reality felt like it was crushing him to bits. A mere thread, that's what he was holding onto. Leah and his children were the only genuine thing he had left. His only source of happiness. “I tried, Pol…I fucking tried. I did everything I fucking could." He felt close to dry heaving. The room was closing in on him. "It wasn't enough." He whispered.

        “I know you did.” She touched his shoulder. “We all did. But maybe we can’t keep her safe.”

        He inhaled sharply and lifted his head. “Where is she staying?” He stood and started to compose himself. There was no way he'd be able to find them if he lost his sanity, or what was left of it.

        Polly pursed her lips. “She asked me not to tell you. She entrusted me and I don’t take that lightly, Thomas.”

        Tommy snapped in an instant and swept everything off the table. “Where is she fucking staying?” But it was no use, his aunt had dealt with enough of his tantrums and knew not to cave it. When he was stonewalled, he stood up with a fury. “Fine, I don’t fucking need you to tell me. I’ll find out on me own.” He growled and left the flat, slamming the door behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~

        The first night knowing his family was in America, Tommy lost control. He felt like he'd lost control of everything. His career, his business, his finances, and now his own fucking family. He’d spent the rest of the day putting out alerts to all the contacts he had in Boston and even New York just in case. Anyone under the name Leah Shelby, Leah Ward, Leah Robinson, anyone who matched her description or the children’s description was to be reported back to him as soon as possible.

        When he called every person he possibly could, he drank and he downed as much morphine as he could find. Maybe it would finally kill him.

          Slumped over on the floor of the big room, Tommy looked up to see Grace standing by the fireplace.

        “Aren’t you happy, Tom?” She asked softly. “They’re away from you, finally. They’re safe now. An entire ocean between you.” The blonde woman sighed softly. “I remember when I tried to run to America. I could never keep you off my mind. Maybe she can learn to forget you. Maybe she won’t make the mistake I made by returning to you. Maybe if I stayed in America, I’d still be alive.” Blood began to seep from the sapphire around her neck. But she smiled peacefully. “I know you want her to stay there. You know something will happen to her if she comes back.”

        Tommy screamed until his throat felt raw. When he lost his breath he threw the nearest bottle at the hallucination of his dead wife. The glass shattered and knocked several picture frames off the mantle over the fireplace.

        He got up shakily and wandered over to see which ones had faced a causality. He dropped to his knees, ignoring the broken glass digging through his trousers and into his skin. He was too numb to feel the pain. He’d always been numb without her.

        The one of Charlie on his first pony. His wedding to Leah. Johanna’s first birthday. They’d all escaped from their silver-plated frames and were let loose in the stray glass shards. Tears streaming down his face, Tommy picked the photographs out of the glass. He held them close to his chest and prayed to either see them again or to let God finally take him.

Permanent Tag: @papa-geralt-of-cirilla @biba3434 @kimmietea @karmezii @enrapturedbythemoon @vampgirl1997 @tarafaithe @evelynshelby

Tag list: @shelbyblinded

Masterpost 

PB Masterlist

[ephrampettaline]

52, because I love that AU of them.

…we had us some fun

well sir I guess there’s just a meanness in this world  |  spree killers au

“Pour me a glass of milk there, would you, darlin’?”

Bellamy rattled the glass bottles in the metal carrier that she’d collected from the back door that morning after the milkman had come, counting out, “Heavy cream, skim milk–” she made a derisive sound, turning to face Ephram and flopping around the folds of the silk robe she’d had to double-lap and tie up on her tiny frame, before going back to the bottles she was unloading on the counter, “–chocolate, yum, and oh here we go!” 

She took out a bottle of whole milk and pranced over to the kitchen table where Ephram was eating his leisurely breakfast of bacon and eggs accompanied by a pile of sliced white bread and margarine and a half pack of cigarettes (not his brand, but you know what they said about beggars), smiling brightly as she poured a jelly glass full of milk for him. “There you go, honey,” Bellamy said, her voice as sweet as silk pie as she pressed a creamy lipsticked kiss to his forehead. Her pretty house slippers danced around the spreading dark thick stain on the linoleum as she sat on the counter next to the milk, drinking the chocolate straight from the bottle.

“Don’t you look pretty, lil girl,” Ephram said, leaning back in his chair as he chewed and smoked, not his brand but dang they’d do in a pinch. “Too bad the daughter din’t have no scanties like them ‘uns.” He gestured at her getup and Bellamy pouted, sticking her full bottom lip out.

“I know,” she whined, kicking her feet. “Just the fat old mum. Can you imagine her dressed up all frilly tryin’ to get her old man in the mood?” Bellamy laughed, the carillon of the sound a jarring counterpoint to the staccato gunshots of the night before.  She’d laughed then, too, of course; Bellamy had never been anywhere or done anything, she’d told Ephram when she’d jumped into his car after he’d finished his day job putting up fences on her daddy’s ranch. She was just a bored girl, a cute girl, looking for some sort-of kind-of excitement in a town too sleepy for how awake she was at only fifteen.

And she knew how to shoot a gun if she was standing close enough to what she wanted to hit, and it turned out she was real good at strangling the life out of twin little boys with the cheap cowboy lasso from out their toy chest. They’d done the twins first, then their teenage sister who preferred jeans to dresses, then the mom when she went to the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee, then the dad with the shit taste in cigarettes when he came home from work. Ephram had done them, the adults. It was a more sophisticated job than doing kids, he told Bellamy, but the truth was that he liked how adults could really understand what was coming. The little kids, they didn’t really get it right up until their animal terror kicked in, but the parents? Yeah, they caught on. The mom screaming for her kids before the answering silence registered in the anguish on her face; the dad knowing in one searing moment that his entire life and all the life he’d helped create and nourish, it was already over.

“They had them three kids,” Ephram pointed out. “She must of been pretty good at getting ‘im in the mood.” And just like that, like it was on cue, they both heard it: the stuffy, mewling gulps that precursored a bawling infant cry from one of the upstairs rooms they hadn’t gotten around to exploring yet.

Bellamy’s eyes lit up. Ephram tapped another of those cigarettes from the pack, switching the new one out for the one he was finishing and lighting it with the cherry. Not his brand, these fuckin’ cigarettes, but hey – they’d kill you just the same.

[simblrbreezycakes]

i was tagged by @chippedcupanddustybooks sweet bb. i am tagging @irrelephantsims @magnoliidae @simplymelaninated and anyone who hasn’t been tagged i swear i feel like the last person doing this LOL. heckin long ass questionnaire under the cut.

1. What is your full name? Brianna Leigh [Redacted] 2. What is your nickname? Breezy 3. Birthday? may 4th 4. What is your favorite book series? hmmmm series? idk.... i really like every single john grisham book and they aren’t related but when you have such a niche brand of book i feel like it counts lol.  5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? kinda on both. 6. Who is your favorite author? oh whew. tough one right here. idk man, i have a few? but if i had to choose i guezz i would say george orwell.   7. What is your favorite radio station? who tf listens to the radio like det anymore lmfao. i don’t have one. before i listened to 107.1 in memphis in the car sometimes, but i moved so. 8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? i loveeee pineapple anything. 9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? lit 10. What is your current favorite song? currently really into pink in the night by mitski and also sicko mode by travis scott.

11. What is your favorite word? good ole fuck(in/ed/etc.) i also really like voluptuous and bubbles. 12. What was the last song you listened to? last thing i listened to was another lifetime x nao.  13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? absolutely check out the good place. also hilda, the dragon prince, she-ra princess of power, criminal minds, law and order (the original), and snapped. 14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? i used to watch the notebook religiously when it rained/felt upset like shit. but lately i’ve been watching say yes to the dress to combat my depression lol. 15. Do you play video games? yah 16. What is your biggest fear? dying alone and no one finding me. like literally alone not like meta alone “oh no one loves me” like dead ass alone somewhere isolated. 17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? hmmmmm idk that i care a lot about other people? 18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? all of them lmfao. i’m annoying, i’m physically unattractive, i talk too damn much, i can be kind of a bitch both intentionally and unintentionally, i’m a trash writer, i can be selfish, and i self depreciate a lot (lol see above response “all of them”) and i’m sure that gets on people who love and care about me’s nerves ((but like....i mean it lmfao)) 19. Do you like cats or dogs better? whew tough. prolly cats though.  20. What is your favorite season? winter followed by a tie between spring and fall.  21. Are you in a relationship? nah lmfao.  22. What is something you miss from your childhood? not being so fuckin ugly and depressed lmfao. 23. Who is your best friend? “my person” as greys anatomy stans would say is ivy lynn [redacted] [redacted] but i also wanna shout out my home girl mary (i know you follow me on here), my home girl christina (also follows me on here but she never checks her simblr anymore), my smoothie gang bitches, my NSA bitches (which includes both ivy and mary lmfao), and my memphis as fuck family. honorable mention to loml [redacted] who is skating on thin fucking ice with me right now lmfao. 24. What is your eye color? brown 25. What is your hair color? brown 26. Who is someone you love? don’t make me answer this tumblr gods. 27. Who is someone you trust? all my best friends, my parents, my brother. 28. Who is someone you think about often? fucking murder me @ this question lmfao. my friend kate (RIP) my grandmother grannypeg (RIP) and [redacted] 29. Are you currently excited about/for something? i’m excited to spend christmas in a new country! forging new traditions and all that. 30. What is your biggest obsession? currently i’m obsessed with wedding stuff and mens fashion and how mens fashion such as suits translates into womens fashion. we love a hot lady in a tailored suit amiright? 31. What was your favorite TV show as a child? spongebob squarepants RIP :”( 32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? [redacted] 33. Are you superstitious? kinda i guess? not really about stuff like stepping on cracks breaking mamas’ backs or opening umbrellas indoors but little things about familial traditions. 34. Do you have any unusual phobias? not really a phobia but i have misophonia. i also hate eye shit. like eye violence or anything fuckin around with eyes is a big no from me dawg. 35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? absolutely behind the camera. i used to be a theater kid so like being on stage i don’t mind but when it comes to the spotlight and being filmed??? no no no no no. lemme be a cinnamontawgrowfur all day.  36. What is your favorite hobby? watching movies, playing skyrim (I MISS IT SO MUCH), reading, watching music videos, modern calligraphy/hand lettering, baking (ALSO MISS IT MUCH) 37. What was the last book you read? lol a textbook about developing countries.

38. What was the last movie you watched? i just rewatched the swan princess the other day but in terms of watching something brand new i think it was this tom cruise movie my friend showed us and i thought she said someone else ( i don’t remember now. maybe tom hanks?) it was pretty good he was irish or sum with nicole kidman and they came to the united states and pretended to be siblings but the sexual tension was so fucking high dawg. 

39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? nothing i’m wack and a disappointment to my musically gifted family (my dad and brother)  40. What is your favorite animal?  polar bears followed by giraffes. 41. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? i’m gonna go with my main tumblr because ion wanna hurt nobody’s feelings but i follow a celebs of color page i really love, a fashion page i really love, and a few artists i really love. 42. What superpower do you wish you had? teleportation or shape shifting.  43. When and where do you feel most at peace?  i feel most at peace when it is raining and i’m in my room, everything is clean and tidy, candles are lit, i have nothing to do so the world is my oyster, i have a nice cup of coffee or hot cocoa or tea, and i just am v i b i n g.  44. What makes you smile? seeing my friends, my brother (when he isn’t pissing me off), funny videos of red dead people falling off their horse in cinematic mode, pretty flowers, cute art, round birds. 45. What sports do you play, if any? i don’t lmfao. 46. What is your favorite drink? honestly a frozen margarita no salt. 47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? a month ago.  48. Are you afraid of heights? absolutely. 49. What is your biggest pet peeve? people chewing with their mouths open and people talking to me like i’m incompetent/assuming i don’t know anything about what they’re trying to talk to me about especially if it is my area of expertise lol. 50. Have you ever been to a concert? hail yeah. many. 51. Are you vegan/vegetarian? nope! 52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? honestly i don’t know but i have a distinct memory of a bunch of girls in my second grade, yours truly included, wanting to be strippers. and i don’t know why or how this came up or if we even truly knew what stripping meant but. yeah. OH i guess around the time i was in 4th/5th grade i started wanting to be a harvard law graduate and be a lawyer but i gave that up in like high school and then bounced being a lawyer back and forth in my noggin up until i applied for grad school. shout out to my mary for doing it though.  53. What fictional world would you like to live in? hmmmm idk. none of em really. 54. What is something you worry about? if i made the right decision(s) in life lol.  55. Are you scared of the dark? not really.  56. Do you like to sing? yeah i do! doesn’t mean i’m good at it though haha. 57. Have you ever skipped school? yeah lmfao. 58. What is your favorite place on the planet? i miss Rwanda a lot. but honestly my favorite place is wherever the people i love are. my family loves to travel so whenever i’m with someone i love sharing an experience? i’m in heaven. 59. Where would you like to live? idk anywhere i guess. somewhere it is mostly cold most of the time though haha. 60. Do you have any pets? my bb boi fred lives with my dad and my mom has a dog and 2 cats. we used to have 3 but one of em ran away when she moved to her house, we caught him, he ran away again. oh whale. 61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? oh a big time night owl. big time. 62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? honestly i like sunrises better but i am never awake to catch em hahah. 63. Do you know how to drive? yah and i fuckin love doing it. 64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? i prefer headphones. like really quality ones too. but i tend to use earbuds more often because i don’t need quality while im working out or going to class just easy grab and go. 65. Have you ever had braces? nope but i used to want some so bad. 66. What is your favorite genre of music? i love rap, dream-y pop music and dream-y rap music, i love 80s music. all 80s music really lmfao.  67. Who is your hero? mi mum and mi dad. also viola davis queen of inventing acting and every single color in the rainbow. 68. Do you read comic books? kind of. i was trying to build up a collection before i moved but i only had my BP comics. 69. What makes you the most angry? injustice and offensive ass content and behaviors. also don’t fuck with my friends. i got two dudes on my shit list right now that it is *on sight* if i ever see them again. 70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? a real book all the way. idk what it is about digital reading my brain shuts the fuck down. i am super fast reader but the second i try and read something digitally it takes me maybe like 10-15 min to get through just a few sentences. 71. What is your favorite subject in school? history lol i was a history major. 72. Do you have any siblings? yeah my chicken nugget puppy brother dylan. asshole. 73. What was the last thing you bought? some historical romance i think? it’s in dutch so idrk.  74. How tall are you? 5′7 i think. 75. Can you cook? yeah i love cooking but saddly don’t do much of it. 76. What are three things that you love? my teddy bear my momma got me for valentines day, my st. agatha figurine, and my yikes tapestry mary got me. i realize now after reading the next question you probably meant like shit in general so. the smell of a fresh cup of coffee, snuggly warm sweaters, postcards and tiny gifts from friends. you know the ones “i just got this for you because i thought you’d like it” 77. What are three things that you hate? funky ass attitudes, the smell and feel of lavender oil, corn. 78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? female 79. What is your sexual orientation? i’m a big ole heterosexual. sorry to disappoint :/  80. Where do you currently live? the netherlands. 81. Who was the last person you texted? my friend and former roommate. today is her birthday. 82. When was the last time you cried? like an hour ago lmfao. 83. Who is your favorite YouTuber? i don’t have one haha. vevo i guess. 84. Do you like to take selfies? do i like taking them? not really. it takes me too damn long to get one that looks good enough. i like sending stupid selfies to friends though. 85. What is your favorite app? i use twitter probably the most but my favorite app is my spider solitaire game haha. 86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? we are very close. i would say both of my parents are my biggest supporters and cheerleaders but how they do that looks a bit different. my mom and i are very similar but sometimes how we handle certain things is very different so we can be the best of friends one day and the completely butt heads the next. 87. What is your favorite foreign accent? i loovveeeee a scottish accent and an irish accent. also tbrh i love a good southern boy drawl. like idk if i could play for you all the way this one dude who works with my mom talks? i would because i wanna bottle it and listen to it whenever i feel bad. 88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? i would really like to go to norway for my birthday. 89. What is your favorite number? i don’t have one. 90. Can you juggle? nope but i did try and learn i have a video of it somewhere lmfao. 91. Are you religious? kind of. i’m more spiritual than religious and lowkey hate saying that because it sounds so hoitietoitie but it’s true. 92. Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? the ocean. so much of it we haven’t explored. thinking about space makes me feel existential and dead inside.  93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? nah haha 94. Are you allergic to anything? yeah i’m supposed to take one claritin a day but like i don’t. 95. Can you curl your tongue? yeah 96. Can you wiggle your ears? nope :(  97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? i’ll admit i’m wrong if i’m actually wrong but you’re gonna have to a helluva lot of convincing to get me there lmfao. though if my being “wrong” has caused harm to someone else i’ll apologize quicker than lightning because the last thing i would want is for my stubbornness to hurt someone i love. 98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? um the mountains 99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? "never turn down a date. you never know who you might meet while you’re out” -my grandmother to my mother to me. 100. Are you a good liar? lmfaooooo i am a reformed liar. 101. What is your Hogwarts House? HUFFLEPUFF BAYBEEE 102. Do you talk to yourself? yah 103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? an introvert. i may be loud and talkative sis but i promise you i’m over compensating because i want you to like me lmfao. 104. Do you keep a journal/diary? i have a private twitter does that count. 105. Do you believe in second chances? depends. 106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?imma keep it real with you chief i would keeps the money lmfao. in the past i would’ve tried to return it to the owner but i am big broke bois with a lot of unexpected expenses coming up so like... yeah lmfao. we keepin that coint. 107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? sometimes. 108. Are you ticklish? yes lmfao 109. Have you ever been on a plane? yeah! 110. Do you have any piercings? yah i got my lobes pierced one on each ear, my nose, and a cartilage piercing. 111. What fictional character do you wish was real? my girl nancy drew. 112. Do you have any tattoos? yeah i got 2 of em. 113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? idk lmfao. probably when i applied for cityterm and when i appled to go back to undergrad. 114. Do you believe in karma? Yeah but not in a “oh you hurt me? you’re gonna get your come uppins” way but in a every action affects your soul and your being kinda way.  115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? im supposed to wear glasses but ask me if im wearing em right now lmfao. 116. Do you want children? presently i don’t see myself wanting or having kids but i want to foster. 117. Who is the smartest person you know? my friends lol. 118. What is your most embarrassing memory? literally every single memory has a tinge of embarassment lol. but probz when i walked into the cafeteria my first day of highschool as a smol freshman and my knees locked up and i fell forward and my giant ass backpack (because i never used my locker ever in any grade) wrapped around my neck and had me stuck in a strange position in the middle of the parting of the tables in the cafeteria.  119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? hell yeah lmfao. 120. What color are most of you clothes? blue or black 121. Do you like adventures? yeah! 122. Have you ever been on TV? yeah but like on the news and shit. 123. How old are you? 24 124. What is your favorite quote? i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart) 125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? OOF TOUGH BUT UHHH probz sweet. 

[taylorfiction]

Wallflower

Part one of an AU that i hope you’ll enjoy? let me know? i loved writing this. Be patient with me, i have plans to make the next part slightly more interesting? i understand that it’s a little dull but think of it as a prologue. Also it may take time as im in a weird place with writing atm x

-

‘She was nineteen, with a baby on the way, on the East side of the city she was working every day, cleaning dishes in the evening, she could barely stay awake, she was clinging to the feeling that her luck was going to change. And, across town she would take the bus at night to, a one-bedroom apartment and when she turned on the light, she would sit down at the table, tell herself that it’s alright. She was waiting on the day she hoped her baby would arrive. She’d never be alone, have someone to hold, and, when nights were cold, she’d say, “the world’s not perfect but it’s not that bad, if we got each other and that’s all we have, I will be your mother and I’ll hold your hand – you should know I’ll be there for you. And the world’s not perfect and the world’s not kind, if we have each other then we’ll both be fine, I will be your mother and I’ll hold your hand – you should know I’ll be there for you.” ‘ If We Have Each Other – Alec Benjamin

-

‘Hey sweetie, how was your day?’ I kneel down as I greet the little girl in front of me, her toothy grin already telling me her day was as good as ever.

‘It was good, we did colouring and I made this for you,’ Lilly smiles as she hands me what she had been holding so tightly onto. It was a butterfly. It was a pink and purple butterfly that I already knew would be attached to the fridge later this evening with all the other lovely pieces of art my daughter had made for me at school.

I stand up again and hold my hand out for her to take, walking towards Lilly’s teacher for a brief chat, ‘Just checking she wasn’t any trouble today? I know she can get excited sometimes, can’t you chicken?’ Lilly giggles as I ask her, swinging and hanging off my arm, my eyes flick back to her teacher, Miss Miller, and we both smile.

‘Taylor you know Lilly is always a dream, she’s always making the other kids smile, I don’t know how you managed to make such a perfect child on your own at your age’ my heart warms as I hear Miss Miller gush about my pride and joy. I squeeze Lilly’s hand and smile down at her as she wriggles around my legs, not listening to this adult conversation.

‘My Mum has helped a lot aha, Grandma has dinner with us two times a week, doesn’t she?’ I look down at my daughter and I squeeze her hand slightly to get her attention, she nods eagerly at her teacher, that cheeky smile still plastered on her face.

‘Anyway, thank you for looking after her, I’m gonna take her home now before she pulls my arm off’ we both laugh at my joke before Lilly drags me away, excited to to get home to her dolls, we wander through the corridors of her small school and begin the walk back to our apartment.

We walk the five minutes before we reach our building, racing up the stairs to see who could get to the front door first; ending in my wheezing and Lilly’s fits of giggles. I unlock the door and smile as she slips her shoes and coat off and instantly runs into her room to find her dolls before she sits on the sofa with them, fully immersed in her own little story.

I place the coloured-in-butterfly on the fridge under the magnet of the Statue of Liberty, we were in New York after all, and admire all the other colourings and paintings that were there, it was like a collage of everything Lilly.

My phone buzzes and I smile as I see the icon telling me who is calling ‘Hey Gi, what’s up?’ I ask one of my best friend’s, remembering that she was meant to come over later.

‘We still good for tonight? I’ll come at 6?’ she asks, apparently reading my mind with her question.

‘Yes, Lilly is very excited to see you, as normal’ I laugh, remembering how bouncy Lilly was when I told her Gigi was coming for dinner. She loved Gigi. Lilly would never admit it to anyone but I knew she was her favourite out of my three best friends; Gigi, Karlie and Martha.

‘It’s 5 now so that gives me an hour to make dinner, I think we’re good,’ I say as I start to move around the kitchen getting out the tomato sauce from the freezer from when I made too much last time we had it.

She laughs down the line before we say our goodbyes and she hangs up. As the sauce defrosts slightly I realise I’m still in my work clothes and I should probably get out of them before Gi gets here, I guess I was in such a rush to start dinner and get ready for Gi coming round that I completely forgot about changing.

I nip into my bedroom freeing myself of my office attire and slipping into my sweats and a tee, knowing that Gi will probably be in the same kind of outfit and won’t care, the only difference is that she will still look stunningly beautiful.

I walk back over to the kitchen and smile as I see that Lilly is still fully concentrated on the dolls in front of her, ‘Hey Lils, remember Aunty Gi is coming round are you gonna get changed?’ I ask her, snapping her attention from the toys in front of her.

She giggles, clearly happy Gigi was coming round, we ended up calling all of my friends Aunty because they were so close to Lilly and I, it was as though we were all related. ‘Okay, what’s for dinner?’ she asks chirpily, getting up from the sofa but pausing before she ran into her room again.

‘Bolognaise, is that okay sugar?’ I respond, knowing full well that she loves Bolognaise and would eat it any or every day of the week. She nods and bounds into her pink room to get dressed. I mix the mince into the tomato sauce, smiling as I think about how lucky I am to get an angelic daughter like Lilly who was only a hassle at bed time because she didn’t want to leave me.

I used to feel bad that Lilly didn’t have a father figure to look up to. I used to feel bad that I didn’t go out and find who he was and make him help bring her up but then I remembered I probably didn’t want someone who wasn’t even there when I woke up after that one-night stand and probably would never be there for either of us. Pregnant after a one-night stand. And that’s when I get judged. I remember as a child wanting a fairy-tale romance. Look where that got me.

I put the Bolognaise sauce in a pan and let it simmer, knowing Gigi would be here in ten minutes and the pasta would only take about five meaning it would be ready the instant she got here. At that point my wild four-and-a-half-year-old came bounding out of her room, some striped leggings and a Disney t-shirt on.

‘Can I help? Can I help? Can I help?’ she skips towards me with a huge smile on her face and I know that I have to give her a job to do otherwise she’ll sulk. ‘Hmm can you get three bowls out and three sets of knives and forks for all of us sweetie?’ I smile back at her, hoping one day I would actually be able to ask her to stir the sauce without worrying if she’d burn herself.

I place the Pasta in the pan and turn back to watch my daughter counting out three of each object, placing the cutlery on the table while leaving the bowls up there so I could serve it easier later.

There is a knock on the door and an instant squeal comes out of Lilly’s mouth as she realises who it is, she bounds over and opens it for her Aunty Gi before flinging herself into my best friend’s arms.

Gi bends down to Lilly’s height in order to give her a proper hug, ‘Hi Lils, how’s my favourite four-year-old?’ she says into my daughter’s shoulder, making me smile and Lilly giggle.

‘Im the only four-year-old you know Aunty Gi’ Lilly pulls away and gives her that sassy-four-year-old-look that I always tell her off for. We all laugh before Gi pulls Lilly closer to her and begins tickling her, making her squeal.

‘Well then you must be my favourite, mustn’t you?’ Gigi continues to tickle her before Lilly begins squealing at her to stop in between her wild fits of laughter. Lilly nods eagerly at her ‘Aunt’s’ question after the attack was over and hugs my best friend again before running over to where she had left her dolls on the sofa.

‘Hey weirdo’ Gigi walks over to me now and we hug briefly, pulling away after a good squeeze, ‘Oh it smells so good, gimme food,’ she acts her grabby hands at the food still simmering which was probably done now.

I pick up one of the pieces of pasta before encouraging Gigi to open her mouth so she could taste it, ‘Done?’ I ask as she chews and she nods eagerly making me laugh a little. I pick up the pan and wander over to where the bowls are; two larger bowls and a smaller pink one for Lilly.

‘Sweetie, dinner’s ready,’ I raise my voice slightly so Lilly can hear me and she instantly hops off the sofa and bounds across the small distance between the kitchen table and the counter. It was only a small apartment after all. I can’t afford anything bigger on the salary of a sales assistant.

After dishing out the three meals me and Gi took them to the table along with three glasses of water, the wine would be for after Lils was asleep. We chatted about what Lilly did at school that day and the butterfly she had coloured in for me and we talked about when we were seeing Aunty Gi next. It was comforting to be around some of my favourite people. It was peaceful.

By the time we had finished eating and had been chatting for a little while it was 7 pm and Lilly was yawning - I could tell she was tired even if she didn’t want to go to sleep, ‘C’mon missy I saw that yawn, lets get you to bed,’ I stood up, collecting the plates and placing them on the side before offering my hand to the little girl still sat at the table.

‘But Aunty Gi is here, can I stay up? Please?’ I could see her puppy dog eyes and it took so much of me to shake my head at her, I knew she didn’t want to but I also knew how tired she would be tomorrow if she didn’t.

‘Say goodnight to Aunty Gi, because if you don’t sleep now you won’t be able to get up in the morning,’ I raise my eyebrows at her and I hear her dramatically huff before slipping off her chair and giving my best friend a hug and a kiss on the cheek goodnight.

She took my hand and we wander towards her bedroom where I help her get ready for bed and give her a kiss goodnight, promising to read her a story tomorrow. ‘Goodnight, sweet dreams angel,’ I whisper into her room as I shut the door part way and let her sleep.

‘If I ever have kids I want one like her,’ Gigi says with a smile on her face following me across the room towards where the wine is. I pour us both a glass of red wine and we chink our glasses before wandering towards the sofa to chat, ‘You’re twenty-three how in hell did you raise that girl to be so lovely? She asked.

‘She can be chaos at times so be careful what you wish for and you guys and my Mum helped a lot,’ we both laugh at this in agreement before a comfortable silence overtook us and we sipped at our wine, occasionally swirling it around the glass.

I knew It was coming the second she stepped over my threshold it was just a matter of when, ‘So, met anyone interesting recently?’ she asks not-so-subtly, I scoff and roll my eyes at her. I don’t know why she asks when she knows I haven’t.

‘Do I look like I’ve met some interesting recently?’ I use her words in my response, raising my eyebrows to encourage her to answer so I can hear her excuse for asking me when she was really telling me to get out more and to get a life.

Gi smiled and took a sip of her drink, ‘I was just wondering because me and the others are going out Sunday and we want you to come,’ her offer warms my heart but the four-year-old kid asleep in her bedroom reminds me I can’t.

‘What about Lil-‘ I start before she cuts me off.

‘Ask your mum to mind Lily because you will come out with us and you will have fun,’ I try to protest that I’m so out of practice I’d be a let down but she interrupts me before I can start, ‘When was the last time you went out and got drunk? Eh?’

I sigh, trying to remember, ‘last year? When Lilly spent a week at Mum’s? I think?’ I answer skeptically and I see Gi’s unimpressed expression on her face.

In summary: I have no choice.

[lavida-delaluna]

Taggy!

Thanks to @whatsruiningmylife!

Let’s answer these q’s!

When you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? 

I try to make it crunchy by my hand likes to pour that milk tho. But hot milk always cuz im liek that.!

Do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

Ehh idm mind it, I prefer warmer weather anyways How do you take your coffee/tea?

All teas and coffees have one sugar and no milk! 

Do you keep plants?

My dead af chilli plant says it all :’), maybe it will grow back during the summer??

What artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

Songwriting, doodles and just playing the piano generally

Do you like singing/humming to yourself?

OFC, I give the whole world a concert from the comfort of my room!

What’s something that made you smile today?

The constant reminder that I’m seeing 30 Seconds to Mars tmz <3 What’s your favorite pasta dish?

LASANGA!!! I’m Garfield! What’s your favorite eye color?

GREEENNN!! or Hazel What’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

bubblegum is a waste of gum, chew Extra!

What is your opinion of socks? 

SOCKS ARE LIT!

Do you like wearing weird socks?

Yes and sometimes idc about mismatched socks either

 Do you sleep with socks? 

Nope

Do you confine yourself to white sock hell? 

nah, reminds me too much of PE, so i wear nice patterned socks

Really, just talk about socks

I like socks they are cool!

What’s your fave pastry?

OOOO, I like a lot of things, but savoury: maybe Borek or Sweet; Bakalva #trvetvrk Tell us about your pet peeves! When people walk super slow right in front of me. (left this from the copypasta cus it really does bug me) and also the people who still have misconceptions after you prove them wrong! Think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I have these giant crescent moon earrings which I love as it relates to my name which partly means moon the other half is life lol so now you understand my URL

Do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!  

Nah im not that basic lol Do you trust your instincts a lot?

I think so 

What food do you think should be banned from the universe?

nothing, jus give more food to those who need it!# Do you like buying CDs and records? What was the last one you bought? I DOO! currently i have 257 in my collection which is made up vinyl and CD, the last one i got was Oceans of Slumber-The Banished Heart (LP) Think of a person. what song do you associate with them? 

The Way We Were-Barbra Striesand (my mum) Do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? I haven’t delved into the art form that much to form an opinion, literature still reminds me of school and IDK if that connotation will ever go What’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever received?

umm, this is a hard one What’s winter like where you live?

Decent in December where its not bitterly cold,

January is getting colder and maybe rainy 

Feb is bloody cold and we even had snow this yr!

What are your favorite board games?

MONOPOLY AND THE GAME OF LIFE!!! Is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

I should be making a cup of tea Are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

indifferent, just dont force it down my throat Are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?#

I used too but not now Are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? hmm, i dont think so, im not a big art person Talk about your one of you favorite cities

My hometown (LONDON) is pretty bomb tbh but I love Rome and Istanbul too, they had such a great atmosphere Where do you plan on traveling this year? Going away to the  homeland (cyprus)  Myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?:

I think im an INFJ, Aquarius ans Syltherin

I summon @slashs-head-is-fuzzy @giggleboxx3000 @himynameisizzy @prime6mover

[teddyaltman]

all the even numbers yo

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? yeeees omg it is snowing here rn and we just went outside and i love it i love it i looooove feeling cold but only on a lil bit of my body i hate it when im all over cold4: how do you take your coffee/tea? black and strong, no tea thanks6: do you keep plants? yes, i have one money plant and it’s now named sophie courtesy of delani8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? screaming into the void (cross stitch)10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? stomach unless i’m with someone else and then probs side12: what's your favorite planet? uranus duh jk mars is bright tonight14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? so my best friend has a flat in london and it’s gorgeous and i would like to live there tbh, its just full of things that make us happy like harry potter wands and two tvs so you can play xbox together on two screens and things from travels around the world and a piano and i just love it16: what's your favorite pasta dish? a no pasta dish 18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. the time i fainted at may’s nephews graduation and got an ambulance called they’re never gonna let me live that shit down20: what's your favorite eye color? idon’t rly have a favourite but i like when you’re looking at someones eyes and they’re smiling back at u22: are you a morning person? yes! i like to get up early and curl up with a coffee and a book on a day off or when i have work i get up early to walk buddy or meg and then watch neighbours while i eat my breakfast 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? i literally talk to my dad about eveyrthing, also dan, my mum and my sisters i never keep secrets from26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? my flowery docs!28: sunrise or sunset? oOOoOOh both?? okay gun to my head sunrise over a lake is the most beautiful thing 30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. when we were at uni dan and i used to call each other in the middle of the night if we were walking home drunk and we just used to talk and talk about anything and everything until the drunk one was sober enough to sleep34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? a bunny called bunny that i got when i was born (okay well actually its a replacement cos i lost the original in a service station in france on the way to disney when i was 2) but i still have it and it’s gross because i used to fall asleep by chewing on her ears and holding her tight around the neck so she looks awful but she’s still my bunny 36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? sugarland38: tell us about your pet peeves! idk i don’t like it when people ignore me40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? i have a wolf necklace that mg bought me for secret santa one year its gorgeous and i love necklaces and most of mine are anchors or giraffes but the wolf one is so amazing and so me and i love it42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! starbs dude im easy44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? laying on the sofa in my snug on dec 27th 46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. i cannot think of a single pun i suck48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? being abandoned and yep probs50: what's an odd thing you collect? HAHAH i collect SO MANY THINGS i have a collection pROBLEM okay i collect hurricane hard rock glasses, and i collect US quarters and i collect those special cups you can buy at the cinema sometimes and mugs from places i love and i have a p good pop funko collection and a hELLUVA lot of DVDS just idk if you can buy a ~collectors thing i probably will im a sucker for advertisement52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? its been like a week but omg the hollywood sign one

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? my sister when she just watched derek die on grey’s56: what are some things you find endearing in people? when they ramble on about something thye love, when people are so passionate you can feel it radiating off them, when someone tries their best to make you smile when you’re upset, when people pat dogs 58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? marygrace is the vodka aunt im probs the wine mom 60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? yeah but i don’t read a whole lot of it, idk i like simple stuff 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? eh not rly sometimes apple or cranberry but not often i just drink coffee64: what color is the sky where you are right now? WHITE cos SNOW66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? any flower crown is an ideal flower crown68: what's winter like where you live? coldish, and grey v grey but i like the feeling of the cold mist snaking around you and seeing your breath when you’re walking and wearing a hat to keep ur lil ears warm!! sometimes it snows and ilove that70: have you ever used a ouija board? lmao no but i would LOVE to72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? at work i keep so many notes about eveyrthing but i have a p photographic memory so i don’t rly need to its just so i can make sure stuff is organised and so i can show that i’ve listened to what people want74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. loud and passionate and so caring, finds an unrelenting joy in the most unexpected of things and is so strong and honest and proud. hates zombie culture. 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? nope! 78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? love a good minion80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? they’re cream bc my sisters and i used to switch around a lot so we all got them painted the same so it didn’t matter and we could stick up whatever we wanted to make it our own space. i did have a jungle room at one point and the walls were orange that was cool and in my hp room i had one RED wall for gryffindor that was awesome82: are/were you good in school? english, particularly lit, history, food tech, film, maths but i Hated that uuuh i was a good student - not a great one bc i was lazy and dumb in school and didn’t study like i  should have done but i did p well 84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? yessss i want an anchor on my ankle and expecto patronum on my wrist and delta lyrics on my ribs and also ‘faith, trust & pixie dust’86: do you like concept albums? which ones? what88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? impressionists90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. chicago is one of the best cities i have ever been too and i’m so lucky to have lived so close for a year it’s just so vibrant and full of life but not ~super busy so you feel crushed and rushed all the time and i rly loved it bUT also shoutout to brisbane which was a huge surprise how much i loved it and i explored it on a segway which was incredible and obvs sydney owns my lil heart and i wanna stare at the opera house forever92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? i hate pasta94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? jesus96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? ha remind me tomorrow pls98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? in the blue mountains in aus! yeah i love to hike except im not a fan of hills, whenever i hike with dan he gets me to explain the plots of tv shows to him to distract me he’s the best100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? def the future bc i have some great memories of the past 5 years and i wouldn’t be who i am today without them but i do not want to go back and relive them thanks

[no-homeo-bromeo]

things i do/say that confuse my mum but she still loves me

I have a habit of making vaguely dinosaur like noises when I enter the house, and throwing my shoes

this bitch chews tinfoil when theyre stressed

No?????Loud noises??????or I will have a panic attack??????

absolutely NO BEETROOT. i will fucking SHIT ON YOUR GRAVE if you bring that shit near me

i👏eat👏hot👏chocolate👏powder👏as👏a👏snack👏okay

hotdogs make me ill for some reason so we can't eat them ever

stop emailing me change.org!!!!!!!!! I chant as I bash my computer

me, yeeting myself down the stairs at 3am: i want some mcfucking grapes

"I require the;;;;;hydration" I text at exactly 10:03pm because im a thorsty boy

"what the fuck is a dab" I shout, dabbing with perfect elegance and just the right amount of tears

if you had a large enough stick, could you collect every dog ever