#but oh I am 1000% noodling that idea

[crimsonblackrose]

Forgot how much I miss book people and artists. Like this dude makes books out of recycled packaging for his sketchbooks and I just...loved it. Like yes, let me cut up a old coffee bag and turn it into something new or a tea box. Not to mention he showed us all these different stitching's people have come up with and I just...I wanna make them. Let me sew lotus patterns into the side of a doughnut box. One problem however...what to do with all these handmade books? I do not want to become a zucchini farmer.*

[your3fundamentaltruths]

The "I will never marry Penelope" scene will huuuuuuurt. I cant even imagine her face, it will be so sad. Do you think the fallout will be the same? Do you think it will be Anthony escorting her home afterwards (maybe because of proprierty)? Also, what do you think would happen if Violet had heard it?

Many thanks, Nonny! I waited on this one becauseI have A LOT of thoughts. (And they may change over time, so don’t hold me to any of this!)

First, I have every confidence Nicola and Luke will knock this scene and any fallout out of the park and absolutely destroy our hearts. Tears will be cried; handkerchiefs, wine, and chocolate will be required; Colin Bridgerton’s name will be cursed, etc., etc., etc.

That out of the way, let’s start with not being sure that they’re going to keep it exactly the same, i.e., Penelope overhearing ABC at the tail end of Anthony and Benedict teasing Colin as she’s leaving Number Five. Too many variables this far out. If it does play out that way, I think either Penelope would return home alone (given that she seems to move around much more freely on the show than in the books) or Anthony would escort her, mostly so the gist of the next Whistledown column can be the same.

(Though I’m noodling with an idea for a fic where Sophie is also nearby and, being a lady’s maid and therefore an appropriate escort for a young lady, walks her home instead because she can see Pen is near tears. She knows how much these Bridgerton boys can hurt you!)

I think it’s going to be 1000% worse in the best angsty way on the show because Colin and Penelope are actually friends. Rightly or wrongly, I always thought of them as being more friendly acquaintances pre-Romancing Mister Bridgerton than actual friends, but on the show, they are friends. The difference between the books and the show seems particularly pronounced on Colin’s side of the equation. So, no matter how exactly it plays out on the show, I think it is going to hurt that much worse for both of them.

It’s one thing to be in love with a friend and not have him love you back in that way; it’s another thing entirely to be singled out for an “it’s never gonna happen” pronouncement. That’s bad enough, but unlike book!Pen, show!Pen has the added layer of having thrown herself and her whole family under the bus to save Colin from himself. Not to say that he owes it to her to love her because of that (even if he knew about it), but just that that probably makes it that much more painful for her; yes, Penelope was very good to him, but Marina was wrong about the fact that someday he’d see it. Instead, Marina’s words about her love being an unrequited fantasy are just going to come back to haunt Pen, playing on loop right along with I am certainly not going to marry Penelope Featherington!

Similarly, Colin is going to feel that much worse because it’s clear how much he enjoys and values his friendship with Penelope on the show. There’s an unusual degree of familiarity for an unmarried young man and young woman between them, down to his calling her by her nickname more often than not. You don’t see Violet having to poke him in the back to remind him to dance with her like in the books. He cuts mean girl Cressida for being nasty to her. He proactively seeks out her company. He makes a point of apologizing to her for not listening to her; he does listen when she reminds him of the dreams of travel he pushed aside thanks to his infatuation with Marina.

(It would be cool if they did keep the bit where Penelope says she’s not going to marry Benedict and of course it doesn’t hurt his feelings for her to say that, so no feelings were hurt, because the words will be that much emptier and more painful given that Colin and Penelope are actual friends.)

So, I think the fallout will be worse, whether that’s purely internally or depicted externally in their future interactions. I could see this going a lot of different ways. For book!Penelope, it would be in character to handle this discreetly and try to act just the same, but for the show (especially a Shondaland show, because drama), it wouldn’t surprise me if her reaction were more externalized. At a minimum, I could definitely see her giving Bridgerton House/Number Five/the Bridgerton family generally a wide berth after it happens and then subsequently whenever Colin is back in town, so that they only see one another in public settings like balls or promenading.

Given the yellow dresses and bright red hair, Pen is hard to miss, so I imagine if Colin still wants to find her, he will. The question is whether Colin goes full avoidance, tries to sweep it under the rug the next time he sees her, or goes out of his way to make a fulsome apology at the first opportunity after the incident. A nice parallel would be to have him seek her out at the next ball and for him to be the one who doesn’t get to say what’s on his mind this time. Another, more aggressive possibility is him trying to call on her to apologize and being told she’s “not at home” – only to see her silhouette in the upstairs window or some such.

I could see Penelope addressing him formally even when they are in a one-on-one conversation the next time that they meet to signal the shift in their relationship. And Colin’s facial expressions/body language the first time she calls him “Mr. Bridgerton” when there’s no one else around to hear and then when he tries to push back and slip back into their old friendship and Penelope is just not having it will be *chef’s kiss*. His sad little face! Also, there will be so much looking at each other only when the other’s looking away in their futures.

On Violet: I am not nearly as tactful and graceful as Violet is (book Violet especially), so I’m not sure I could do her potential reaction to hearing That Scene justice, but I think it would vary a bit based on whether or not Penelope knows she heard. (That is to say, is Violet visibly there too or is she overhearing it somewhere out of sight? Does she find out after?) If Penelope knows she heard too, I could see Violet saying something similar to what Anthony says in the books – she wants Colin to settle down, she thinks the world of Penelope, and so she’s been talking his ear off about her specifically, but he’s really just uninterested in marriage after, well, you know – but also just apologetic about the rudeness of it and having so much more to say about it than propriety allows because she truly empathizes. Her face would be saying all the things that can’t come out of her mouth. If Penelope doesn’t know she heard, I can see her staying out of sight so as not to compound the embarrassment then letting her son(s) have it later in private.

With Colin . . . oh, the reaction would be different. Violet may briefly acknowledge that she was pushing rather hard, but then tell him that that was no excuse to make such a spectacle of himself and embarrass Penelope. She’d be furious and mortified. (It wouldn’t surprise me at all if Violet summons him – assuming he’s in bachelor lodgings and no longer living at home – to yell at him and he’s clearly hungover, that drink he needed after That Scene having turned into several.) Colin clearly feels awful. But that really doesn’t matter to Violet. His feeling terrible won’t make Penelope feel any better. She just doesn’t understand: his behavior toward Penelope gave the impression that there was or could come to be some more-than-friendly feeling there; marrying Penelope would’ve fit the relationship advice she gave Daphne to a T, that is, to marry the person that feels like your dearest friend. Violet worries he’s made a huge mistake that will have repercussions for his future happiness that he’s not yet self-aware enough to understand. I truly hope you will never have greater cause for regret than having hurt a lady’s feelings, but I fear someday you shall, when it will be far too late to repair the damage.

I could see Colin feeling even worse after a scolding like that – not because he recognizes that there’s a strong foundation to build on and that he might’ve played himself, but because, on top of already feeling badly because he hurt Penelope’s feelings, he’s also now afraid he might’ve misled her in the course of their friendship.

(Except, of course, he didn’t, because the only person he’s misled is HIMSELF.)

. . . That was a lot and I could probably still say so much more!

[docholligay]

"Healing is a small and ordinary and very burnt thing. And it's one thing and one thing only: it's doing what you have to do." -Cheryl Strayed

This is a very rambling sort of thing, but it’s a thing I’ve wanted to write, and as I’ve been having spectacular trouble writing anything lately I decided to go with it. Thanks to @katrani for sponsoring! Takes place in MaS. 

The sun rose in Paris. 

It had probably also, Michiru reasoned, risen in Tokyo, but she had not been able to see these things. Tokyo was where Haruka had been, and then wasn’t, and for that reason she found the entire place completely unforgivable. It is a strange thing, to have a human being own an entire sprawling city, and yet in Michiru’s heart, Haruka did. 

Tokyo. Michiru would never have stayed there but for Haruka’s love. It had belonged to her brother before it had belonged to Haruka, and oh how delightful to discover that it had been meant for someone else all along! How could Michiru have been so foolish as to imagine the bustling noodle shops with rich, thick broth and 1000 yen specials had been built for him? How could the cherry blossoms, pink as her cheeks when she blushed, be meant for a man whose soul was without beauty? He could could walk carelessly through the food halls, but Haruka prickled with delight at every booth, because they were meant for her. The sneaking alleys full of bars in Shinjuku, the kaleidoscope of lights and sounds as tourists and locals alike passed in Shibuya, even the lined streets of her own childhood district, all had been built for the pleasure of one Haruka Tenoh. 

It was a dead place, now, signifying nothing. A place where the forest had burnt to ash, and her heart was the same. 

She had left Tokyo because she had to. She could not survive it. This might have sounded cruel, considering her children, but her children were not of Tokyo so much as they lived there. Her children were of her own heart, and she could see any city in the world and be reminded of them. But Haruka was of Tokyo, and so Michiru had to leave it before the ghosts of Haruka’s love suffocated her. 

MIchiru had been here for three weeks. Haruka had always hated Paris, even before she had to attempt to navigate it in a wheelchair, and so it had always uniquely belonged to Michiru. She brought her girls here every year, to practice and shop and sip in the wine bars. It was her sharing something of herself with them, in a way she could not quite define. Perhaps she would live here forever. Perhaps she could never bear the pain of returning. 

It was impossible. She could not, she knew, so long as she was as bound to Haruka as Haruka to Tokyo. One or the other would have to uncouple in order to allow her back. But how could Tokyo, and how could she, belong to more than one person, ever? Especially that person being Haruka, who she had loved since she was a child? 

She laughed, a little. She had thought of herself as a woman in those days, like a fool. 

And so, because Tokyo had belonged to Haruka, she had to leave it. You cannot rebuild in a house that is on fire, Michiru had reasoned. She could no more stay where they had raised their children then she could wade into the into Tokyo Bay and hope to come out on the other side. There were things a human body could not bear. 

Her daughters had understood, at the least. Tokyo was burned for her, and so she had to try and grow something elsewhere, and the run rose in Paris. The sun rose, and the flower sellers painted the side streets with bright washes of color and rich perfumes in the air, and for a moment Michiru knew what it was to be a girl again, the excitement of walking the bridges and getting ice cream on the Ile Saint-Louis, hearing the tolling of the Notre Dame bells. 

Paris bubbled like champagne at her nose, the poetry of French filling her ears.

“Japanese is not much of a sea language.” She stood, wrapping herself warmly in a cashmere cape against the chill of the evening, “It is, I think, the language of a cliff face.”

“Uh,” Haruka’s face furrowed in confusion, “It’s...babe, Japan is surrounded by the ocean.” 

Michiru laughed as she passed the wine bar she frequented, Haruka’s young face clearly in her mind, allowing the pain that accompanied it, and waving it off like smoke in the darkness. 

She laughed then, too. 

“No, of course my love, what I mean to say is, Japanese is so very brisk, and sharp. It is ice, maybe, and rocks, and,” She looking dreamily out at the ocean, “defined. The sea is undulous and constantly sliding one bit into the next. It is watercolor and wave. Perhaps like French. Perhaps that’s why I’ve been happy there.” 

“I dunno if I want to give the ocean to France, just saying.” She pulled her knees up on the rock where they sat, and shrugged, “I like Japanese.” 

Michiru would have laughed, then, and told her she had experience with nothing else, but she knew even as early as it was that would hurt her, make her feel less-than, that she would tell herself she was stupid. It was true, that Haruka had never understood, even as she struggled to try and make a real show of learning English. The soul of a language, the art of the way it fell in the air, each language had a different sort of style, and to know many was to move from one museum room to the next. 

Immersing herself in the warm bath of French was like slipping into the Mediterranean sea, so different from where she had been and yet a place she always knew she would come back to. There was nothing sharp on the ear, no ending that reminded her of a certain social position or moment, nothing that echoed back the perfect syllables of Haruka’s name. 

She had divorced herself from the idea so entirely that when a pair of Japanese tourists had asked for directions, she had pretended not to understand. Rei would have snorted and called her petty, more than likely, and perhaps she would not be wrong, but it was Michiru’s life to live, in any case. To live. She had the right to go on. She had the right to do whatever it took to breathe again. 

She should write Rei. She certainly intended to. Michiru had left Tokyo so quickly, and though she had told everyone where she was going, and though she spoke to her children, always in French, which they were polite enough to make little comment of, it was simply too much to pick up the phone when Rei called. 

It was more than just Tokyo. It was more than just Japan. It was that so many years after everything had happened, Michiru sometimes still looked to her right hand, now weakened, and wondered if she’d lost the ring. A teal aquamarine, framed by the delicate swirl of silver water. Rei’s had almost seemed to belong to a queen, lacking the delicacy of Michiru’s. It had changed on their hand. It knew them. It bound them together. 

She could think of nothing else, when she spoke to Rei. She did not blame the moon for Haruka’s death, not even Michiru could be that silly, but she had been angry forevermore that she had the moon to thank for the gift of Haruka. Rei reminded her of that gift, wrapped herself by the moon and delivered in friendship to Michiru’s hands. 

But she should write her. A postcard, if nothing else. To tell her that she was doing well, that her apartment was quite lovely, and she had taken to eating at a small brasserie nearby for most of her dinners. That she had taken care to drink something other than wine, most nights. That the view of the city charmed. 

She had even purchased a postcard, some silly thing for one euro that had a filter-toned view down a small street, flowers and the red door of a bakery laid perfectly against the grey of the ancient stone. She’d purchased it two days ago, and imagined, since then, what she would say. A postcard is, of course, the most gracious of correspondence in such times, leaving you little room to have to say all the things people would like. Two sentences, perhaps. 

Still, she could not say them. She opened the door to her apartment, and scolded herself once again. When had she ever balked from confrontation? Confrontation, she laughed. Rei was her friend. She certainly wouldn’t be pleased that she hadn’t heard from Michiru for weeks, but it was ridiculous of her to assume Rei would wish to fight with her. 

Thus resolved, Michiru sat down to her small desk near the bar cart, and set the postcard in front of her. The pen was heavy and cool in her hand, stone and metal waiting to express itself on the page. 

I am well. Paris is lovely. 

She discarded the idea before she ever wrote it out. It was such a nicety as to nearly be dishonesty. She and Rei hardly had such a surface relationship, and it was an unkindness to treat it as such. She pulled a dram of gin and lillet from the bar cart. That was the entire purpose in having it there, after all. Really, it should be chilled, but if one cannot drink lukewarm gin as a recent widow swanning about a Parisian apartment, when could one? 

Paris is ever so lovely this time of year, and I have plenty of room if ever you would like to visit. 

Michiru shook her head, laughing at herself again, the foolish and selfish child she always was inside of her. She did not want Rei to visit. She had no desire to take Rei to the little cafes and shops near her apartment, to lie with her by the river and eat a baguette with some cheese. She didn’t want to take a train to London for the weekend, the two of them holed up in the Ritz, lunching with oysters and champagne. She loved Rei, and Rei was a reminder of an entire life that now cut with furious line through her, and both of these things could be true and terrible. 

Haruka has been dead for six weeks, and I cannot bear to be reminded of her. 

Michiru had meant not to write that, either, and she certainly hadn’t meant to write it in Japanese, the characters of Haruka’s name stark against the cream of the postcard, the black ink already drying, impossible to remove. She turned the postcard over with irritation, only to see that she had written so hard those characters poked through the Parisian alleyway, nestling in next to the flowers. 

She downed the gin and lillet--it wanted for a bit of citrus, but needs must--in one sharp quaff, and looked out the glass door to her balcony. It was spring, and yet still here in Paris the winter clung on at the corners, the sun lowering in the sky even in the late afternoon, slipping below the parapets of stone. Michiru touched her hand to the raised flowers, and then snatched up the postcard, flicking a match and setting fire to the edge of it before she quite knew what she was doing. She dropped the match on the desk, extinguishing it, but continued to stare at the burning card, Haruka’s name beginning to meld with the blackness of what had gone through the flame. 

She tossed it into her metal wastebin, atop the others she had failed to send. 

The sun set in Paris too, the red of it catching the city on fire, that burnt thing that would help her to rise.

[daily-dose-of-imagines]

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Matchup ♥

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Hi!! First of all I’d like to congratulate you guys on your 1000+ followers!! It’s a massive milestone and I’m so happy and proud of you guys for it!! Admittedly I’ve only just found your blog but after hours of scrolling through it I can honestly say that I truly admire the work you put into every one of your requests and fics!! You guys deserve this a lot xx

I’d like to request a match-up for Haikyuu (all male characters) if you guys don’t mind!! Also hopefully the description isn’t too long!! :’)

I’m a 20-year-old Leo girl who’s studying Biomedical Engineering and Arts (with an English major!!) in Sydney. I used to be a guitarist in a high school band and am in general more of an independent individual than a leader/follower.

Physically I’m short with a generally small frame, and have naturally curly hair (though I’ve straightened the top half now!!) dyed a dark rose-pink/brownish color with loose eyebrow-length side bangs on either side curling outwards!! I tend to have softer features and my eyes are on the smaller side HAHHAHAH. My wardrobe basically consists of black, white, brown and beige with lots of jeans, boots and belts and almost no dresses ahahahah. (tbh my icon is me so yall can reference that but I usually have my hair let down ahahahh)

I’m a shy person but some of my friends say I exude a quiet confidence HAHAHHAH. Other ways my friends/family have described me include: smart, kind, awkward, cute, determined, hardworking, creative and being a happy virus. I generally do well in my studies and am particularly good in Physics and English! I do have my flaws tho, I can be too playful at times to the point where it accidentally gets someone hurt, I’m usually running late, I have terrible mood swings and I can be selfish or a little too competitive at times (especially towards my younger siblings unfortunately). Also I’m basically the most indecisive person ever!!

I love writing but I have a problem with not knowing when to stop and hence tend to go beyond word limits. I write well in both creative and academic writing though! I also love spending time with my dogs, napping/playing with them etc. I tend to work out quite a lot and I particularly love cycling! I love being up early and generally don’t mind waking up early but I like my mornings quiet and calm as I enjoy my breakfast hahahhah! But I also tend to stay up till very late at night so I truly am lacking a lot of sleep. I tend to spend a lot of time in my room and I like it that way but I love fun social events like parties and weddings (I’m not sure why??). I love cartoons/animated films a lot idk why but they give me a sense of relief from all my stress and they just make me feel good after watching them?? I also love creating random customized stuff like designing a birthday cake for my brother or creating a specialty dish for Mother’s Day- things like that. Things I don’t like include: loud noises, inconsiderate people, snails, being looked down upon, judgemental and close-minded people, presentations in front of large crowds and chocolate (sorry!!).

Some aesthetics of mine include: the colors of fall, comfy knitted sweaters, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and freshly baked bread, apple-scented objects, the fresh air on the top of a hill at the end of a hike, the wind in your face as you cycle down a hill, receiving or giving a customized gift, glass/transparency, deep ideas, hugging a dog (most furry animals), being in the middle of a bustling city, the sound of rain in the middle of the night, the serenity at dawn, wrapped up in your blanket watching your favorite tv show at night, getting work done at a cafe, the satisfaction having completed all your responsibilities, the way cereal and biscuits melt in your mouth after being soaked in milk for some time, hugs, doves being the symbol of peace and freedom, nyc apartments and theme parks.

My favorite food include pumpkins, Marie biscuits, cereal, artisan bread, almond milk, eggs with runny yolks, tomatoes, brocolli, mushrooms, bibimbap, sashimi salads, deli sandwiches, bruschetta, prawn dumplings, tiramisu, tangerines and flat rice noodle soups. My favorite books include Looking For Alaska by John Green and the Fire and Flood series by Victoria Scott. My favorite movies are Pitch Perfect (1&2 were good but 3 was kinda disappointing), The Devil Wears Prada, Wreck-It-Ralph, Inception, Enchanted, Kiki’s Delivery Service, the new Jumanji movies and Little Women. My favorite artists are One Direction and the kpop group Pentagon, which are basically the only two fandoms I’m apart of (if you don’t consider the 1D boys having 5 separate fandoms) and fandom life is a big part of who I am hahhahah. Oh! The Marvel fandom too as I absolutely adore Tony Stark and hence RDJ hahahah! My favorite TV Show is Friends (cliche I know) but also some animated series ahahhahh.

Have an amazing day!! xx

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Hello @ehlipses​ and thank you so much! I am so so so happy you like our work, it means a lot to us! And I sincerely hope you enjoy the boy I paired you up with!

>Admin 𝕋

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𝐼 𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓅 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽...

Okay so, I feel as though Semi would be perfect for you! Admittedly when I saw that you played guitar in high school, I immediately knew that Semi would be very attracted to that, thinking he and you could definitely bond with music, and playing instruments. It would such a cute sight to behold! But on another not, he will be incredibly impressed that you are studying engineering, along with and English major! I see Semi as one who will be attracted to someone who is smart and independent, someone who can take care of themselves, and is more of a leader than a follower, yet would rather be an individual and not deal with labels. And you fit the bill to a T!

For appearance, I feel as though Semi would absolutely love you rhair! Like it won’t show in his face, but he would stare at it and just think that he wants to touch, to run his fingers through it, like all the time. It would become some sort of relaxation thing for him, especially before games to play with your hair! It would so freaking cute! And along with the style and the color of it? Yeah this boy would just love it; it would make him want to dye his own hair to make it cool like yours! Semi would love this soft look you have going on, and don’t think bad about your small eyes; Semi will think that just adds to your unique features, makes you different from the rest of the people he has met and known. It is what makes you, you and he will love it very much! And has for your style, he would be very appreciative of it, only because it is so cohesive! I feel as though Semi is a great sense of style and could see someone who also has a good sense of style and really appreciate it, and if you were the one with it? Well, that would just further his infatuation with you!

Semi will love how the things you love mostly line up with his! He loves writing music and he loves that you write as well, in the other sense! Semi would have this idea of where he writes a piece of music, and then he will ask you to write a story based around the music he produced! It would be such a cute thing between the two of you! Semi also likes to workout and would love to exercise with you, and have you show him how to cycle properly! He thinks it would be a great way to get closer to you, and just see how much cuter you could get to him! He will understand the feel of waking up early for some quiet time, though I see Semi as more of a person that would sleep in, he would enjoy your routine while he sleeps lolol. Your ambivert attitude would really intrigue Semi, how you can just spend endless hours in your room to going to social events and not have your energy drained would amaze him, seeing as I think Semi would tend to stay away from big crowds. He would be drawn to that brightness you have! Semi will like how crafty you are with your hands, going from baking a cake for your mom, to creating cuisines for special events. He will think those are great characteristics for someone, and would be glad to it is you that has it! 

Semi also doesn’t like inconsiderate people, or judgemental and close minded people, so if you don’t like them and he doesn’t like them, it would be something you two can definitely bond on! I don’t see Semi being afraid of snails, but I see him thinking that it is extremely cute that you are afraid of them! He might tease you with one so be careful!

As for your aesthetics, I feel as though Semi will like all of them! Not necessarily because he likes all of them, but because all of them would remind him of you. From comfy knitted sweaters to the New York vibes, he would these things, feel these things, taste these things, and will automatically think about you. He won’t be able get you out of his head! And he would be okay with that, because that’s what he wants, to know you, think about you, love you, and be with you. Along with all the food you like to the fandoms you are in, he would be very supportive in what you like, in what you are interested in because all he is interested in is to see you happy with whatever you love, with whatever makes you interested in life, what makes you happy. And he would help in anyway he can, to make you just as happy!

[fisherfurbearer]

With vivariums, how often do you add new enrichment, if at all? When my corn snake was in her old 40g, I'd add/circulate stuff every week or two, but I'm not sure if I should in her viv. Would just adjusting the climbing branches or leaf litter be enough, or should I go for a more ambitious moving of her hides and stuff?

This...is actually a really good question!!!

(Bear with me here as I’ve been very sick the past few days and Very Jumbled, so my words are even  worse than they usually are, but here we go...!)

To be honest, I haven’t really thought about this before, as weird as that sounds...I’ve been thinking about your question for a few days and it gives me a lot of ideas. My only two “proper” vivariums are for the Eurydactylodes, and the way their hardscape is set up, it’s pretty set in stone, not much can be adjusted. Right now they’re honestly kinda ugly too, not nearly as handsome/filled out as they were before since a lot of the plants tanked and I’m still growing out a couple new plants and getting back into a good routine, so I’m not sure how helpful my answer can be right now.

But thinking back to when the vivs were At Their Peak and when my routine was really good...hmm! I never really circulated their environmental enrichment, but it was always a process of slowly adding new plants and filling in gaps, and “training” vines to grow where I wanted. Over time I added some pieces of cork to the ground, more leaf litter, seed pods, stuff like that, but I never REALLY shook things up. I WILL note though that as their plants grew, especially the quick growing Peperomia scandens vine, the geckos both change their behaviors accordingly! As the vines fill in, get trimmed, and grow back again, Gogo in particular really changes up the paths he takes to get to his favorite basking or resting spots, and as the light penetration changes they both choose new places to sit. It’s kinda neat, and I’m going to try to add some new plants soon and try to get the vivs back to where they were before. I got really...overly ambitious...when I was younger, and that coupled with Life just really tanked over time, but I’ve learned so much and I think this time around the vivs can still be just as nice, if not better.

But I digress! Even though I haven’t/don’t change up much Intentionally (plants growing out don’t really count) I actually think I might try to come up with new ideas for how I CAN do that for the geckos. Their enclosures are pretty small (12″x12″x18″, but remember that Didi is just 3.75″ from tip to tail and Gogo is only 4.25″!!) and the hardscape is permanent so I’m not sure exactly how much I could do, but maybe there ARE options...?

It’s a tricky balance between “familiarity” (‘ah yes this is MY home, where I feel safe and know where my favorite places are and how to get there!’) and “novelty” (switching up environments, trying out new decor, hides, tactile surfaces, etc.), if that makes sense.

It REALLY depends on the individual...like the mice/rats? Oh yeah, switch that shit UP!! Turn the whole enclosure upside down every week, switch up EVERYTHING and cycle through hides and bring back old favorites and try out new ones!! These guys LOVE it!! Quail...? Oh goodness, even though they’re getting braver, if I switch Too many things at once they get VERY STRESSED and pace for at least a few days before going back to normal...it’s a real balancing act with them and they really do well with a lot of familiarity, but Also novel changes and gradual improvements over time.

And with a living vivarium of course, you’re looking at a more “permanent” set up. The substrate is Alive, the environment more natural, and in most cases it’s probably harder to move everything around due to practicality (Dirt is Messy! Leaves are Messy! Reworking the vivs is always a disaster!! And I can definitely imagine a larger vivarium being heavy and difficult to shift around frequently, too) and it may not be preferred to do so, either! I would still have to test my theories in practice when I eventually get into larger reptiles, but I believe there can definitely be a happy medium between building a “familiar”, safe, enriching environment that will always be enjoyable for the inhabitant, AND providing novel enrichment.

The tricky part is knowing HOW MUCH to change, and HOW FREQUENT...

For example, once again, consider practicality. How big is the enclosure, how difficult is it to remove decor and move objects around? Are there living plants? If so, will moving decor around disturb them? And consider the individual. What is their temperament like? How do they respond to changes? Are they very active, curious, always on the move and rushing snoot-first to check out anything new? Or are they the type to hide or display signs of stress when anything familiar is changed? What’s the balance there, between desensitizing to Changes and building up Confidence and Encouraging natural behaviors and mental stimulation, vs. Distressing and Disturbing their sense of Safety/Familiarity?

Once again I notice this a lot with the difference between the mice and the quail. The quail are verrrrry timid about changes and even though I will add foliage in the same places as before, and clean everything up and add features I know they enjoy, it takes them time to readjust if I change too much at once (which I HAVE to do sometimes, during deep cleans, but I’m hoping over time they will grow more accustomed to it and won’t be as stressed in the future. Yet another reason in defense of why changing up environments CAN be a good thing...! It’s just a balancing act, is all) but compared to the mice or rats, they’re ALL OVER anything new!! Doesn’t matter if they’ve never seen it in their life, they want to sniff, jump on, run through, run on, explore, explore, EXPLORE!!!!! They THRIVE on new things and changes, but they also like a sense of familiarity (ex. they love tunnels, and use them to run from place to place...so each time I redo their enclosure, I might switch out what KINDS of tunnels we have [shape, material, size] to keep it Interesting. I also try to keep at least a few of the same hides as the last time, so it smells/feels familiar) and seem to enjoy that too. 

BUT BACK TO VIVARIUMS and how this all fits together!!!!

As I’ve said, I haven’t actually considered changing up my boys vivs, but I think this is something REALLY COOL to think about, not just for future vivs, but now as well!! I might actually try adding even more hardscape for them, like switch up the wood features on the ground, add some thin branches that can be moved around later. And this time I’ll plan for the plants as they grow and are trimmed back, as that’s a pretty cool “natural” environmental shift over time...even just letting some plants overgrow really changes up their environment, and encouraging that might be a good thing. I’ll have to experiment and I would definitely make future vivariums a bit more Flexible with their design so I could experiment more with this, as my options are somewhat limited with the geckos vivs, but still!!

And regarding your viv...!!! I have some ideas for that too!! These are some General Ideas, but here’s what I think:

- I know corn snakes in general are pretty active noodles, and although it depends on your individual corn, you may be in a good place to test out this Theory that switching up pieces of a vivarium could be beneficial enrichment. Corns in general seem like the kind of snake to adapt well and benefit from occasional changes, so here are some ideas to consider...

- Vivs naturally change over time. Plants grow, plants get trimmed, leaf litter decays, stuff like that. Adjusting plants (for example, adding new plants over time. Doesn’t really follow any rhyme or reason for me, it’s more of a natural “ooh but what if I put THIS here, or filled this space with THAT, and what if I grew something in this shady spot here, or this colorful one in the bright place here...” and that on it’s own can Improve a viv over time, and be a form of enrichment) and adding fresh leaf litter (try different types!! A couple different kinds of leaves looks better, decays at a varied rate, and is better for microfauna. They’ll eat the faster decaying ones first while the slower ones stick around longer.) can help keep things Fresh and Good

- I REALLY like to design things with Zones. I tend to think of enclosures/vivariums in terms of Choices and Factors. Factors like light/dark, warm/cool, humid/dry, open/hidden, high/low/below, hard/soft, etc., which all give the animal a Choice if they want to be one thing or the other... “Right now it’s daytime and I’m nocturnal and want to be in the shade, where it’s cooler and more secure.” “Right now it’s daytime and it’s time to Bask and Bake My Focking Eyeballs even though I have the CHOICE to be in the shade and NOT Bake My Forkking Eyespheres.” or, “I am a mouse and my instincts say I must DIG.” Stuff like that!! 1000% of the time, no matter what, the animal should ALWAYS be able to make these kinds of decisions, and enclosure/vivarium design DIRECTLY IMPACTS THIS!! No matter what changes, these basic factors should always be considered. (Of course, it changes based on the species, like for tarantulas I always think in terms of humid/dry, arboreal/terrestrial/fossorial, open/hidden, but the Ratios of these Zones changes greatly based on the species...like Kitty [bold semi-arboreal desert webbing tarantula] vs. Flaveri [terrestrial/heavy burrowing not-very-webby tarantula] are VERY different even though they’re both tarantulas. Does that make sense?

- Within these “zones” and with the idea of Choices in mind...it’s still possible and can be a good thing to mix up their options!! Some ideas for a corn snake might be...have a hide or two at different levels. One or two underground/half buried, at least one at ground level, maybe one thats elevated slightly, or visual barriers (think loose foliage that can be moved through but blocks them from view) above ground level. That gives them so many options right there, and you could always think about maybe switching one or two of those hides out (while keeping the rest same, for Familiarity) and testing different kinds of hides, maybe!! Wood vs. rocks vs. faux material vs. whatever!!! Test things out, see what they like, and remember it for later so you can incorporate that more often. It doesn’t even have to follow a rhyme or reason, maybe just mix up a piece of decor or a hide or two once every week or two, or:

- Mess with tactile enrichment!!!! This is a big one, I bet!! Try out different types of substrate, like a Big pile of leaves maybe with a Good Smell inside to encourage Sniffin’ and Searchin’, try out sand or small pebbles or different textures of wood/branches!! Cork bark is way different from ghost wood or driftwood, you feel? And maybe come up with “Permanent” parts of the hardscape that you never/rarely change, and a few easy to move parts that you could shift around or switch out sometimes...

- Also just Personal Opinion Time, which is probably going to change more over time as I gain more Knowledge and Experience, I feel like...no matter what, an animals enclosure should be Extra Enriching All The Time, and Always offer them choices WITHOUT the need to have it all turned upside down on a regular basis just to be interesting. It’s like...making your bedroom/house Yours. I wouldn’t want to totally redo my entire house every month let alone every week or two...it’s nice to live somewhere that feels like Home, but it’s also nice to change things to fit Me as time goes on. That’s something that some animals are very good at doing, themselves. Tarantulas and rodents especially, they take what you give them and run away with it...they make their own tunnels, their own hides, their own comfort and enjoyment. They take the Template we give them and say “okay now what about THIS?” One of the MOST IMPORTANT components of Great Environmental Enrichment/Design is that, I feel. Giving them an area where they can express natural behaviors of all kinds, and make Choices for themselves, and utilize/alter their environment in a safe, positive manner that allows them to Thrive in their own enclosure.

That isn’t to say that changing things up is bad either...in a lot of animals cases I think this is a good thing, and a Great Vivarium Designer/Animal Caretaker is always striving to improve, so it’s a natural trend over time to see improvements and changes made to enclosures and husbandry no matter what. Even if it doesn’t follow a regimen, as my vivs don’t seem to, they still evolve and get better over time, and that in a way is also enrichment. Just comparing pictures of my first attempts at the gecko vivs to where they were at their peak, or how my tarantula enclosures have evolved, that’s a great way to visualize what I mean by that. It doesn’t follow a pattern, but that’s not to say that I DON’T switch things up or try to provide Different things. It’s less of novelty and more of “general improvement” for the geckos and inverts though, I think.

Uhhh I’m kinda spent now with my words...I feel like I went in circles and didn’t actually say anything?? I’m still very jumbled and sniffly and sick and I’m not sure if this helped or answered your question at all but uhhhh yes! Thank you very much for the very good question, it gave me a lot to think about. c:

[irenesbackpackingadventures]

Chongqing.

There appears to be a theme here in China, once again I struggled to find the hostel at the pin for locating on booking.com is in the wrong place. Thankfully, once again due to the kindness of a local lady, who closed her shop and escorted me not just to the correct building, but right to the door of the hostel on the 31st floor.

I was very excited to see that the was a tiny little kitten belonging to one of the guest in the common area, such a loving little kitten too. I was very content to just sit and read with the little kitten fast asleep on my chest.

My first day in Chongqing and just wandered about having a look, not really walking anywhere in particular, I came across the Huguang Assembly Hall and went in to have a look. It had been restored to its former glory in the early 2000’s, and now registered as a heritage site, formally the build had been use as a guild hall, and market area by migrant to the Chongqing area. Not only was it an interesting build, they also had displays of various arts and crafts the region is well know for. I was very impressed by the glass painting on various types of bottles, which were all painted on the inside of the bottle through the tiny opening in the neck using long thin brushes, rather than on the outside as you would expect.

The craft that really impressed me was the Shu Embroidery. It is incredible, the masters even embroider so the image is shown on both sides of the canvas but in different colours. The threads are all dyed using natural dies and are so vivid, if I was not on a backpacker budget I would have bought something to bring home if I was able to transport it without damaging it.

On the Thursday I went to Foreigners Street, which is a really tacky theme park, it has ‘replicas’ of various landmarks from around the world including; a pyramid, Christ the Redeemer (Which spins and has lights in his head.), a miniature New York Skyline, and an American Firehouse. Oh, and it also has the world’s largest public toilets boasting over 200 loos.

I had a brilliant time there, and anyone who says it is rubbish needs to get a sense of humour. The park itself is free to walk through, you just pay for each ride individually. I wanted to go on the zip line until I saw the weight limit was only 65kgs. I decided that I wouldn’t risk it, especially give how poor the maintenance is here in China. I did go on the bit spinning swing ride as I have never been on one before, I was terrified, it went a lot faster and higher than I was expecting, but it was a good laugh once I had finished being scared and wanting to get off.

On Friday I visited the Three Gorges Museum which was great, I was really interested to learn abut the dam as it is such a feat of engineering, however controversial moving nearly 1.4 million people so you can create a reservoir may be. What is so fantastic about it is how it shows what can be done and just how much green energy we can produce.

Friday evening, I was feeding the kitten some treats and it got a little over excited and bit me with its needle teeth, I didn’t think anything of it, laughed and told the kitten to stop being greedy. As soon as  the woman sat next to me realised it had broken the skin she panicked, telling me I had to immediately go to the hospital because I will catch ‘the crazy disease’. Her reaction frightened me and I got scared, however, with the reassurance of several other people and the internet I convinced myself I was ok as was not about to die of Rabies.

Stupidly though I was still fretting about it the next morning, so decided I would pop in to the hospital seeing as it was on the way to the park which I wanted to visit anyway. I caught the metro to the Hospital and was so preoccupied with thoughts about Rabies that it took me a few moments to realise I was being pick pocketed, it was too late by the time I fully twigged what was happening for me to reach behind and grab their hand. I just thought ‘oh well they will be disappointed, I never put anything in my back pockets’ and was glad I am so careful at keeping my bag zipped up in front of me at all times.

I carried on my way to the hospital where I was told I was fine, and not to worry, but they did clean the cut and for free, which surprised me. I was expecting to be charged. My mind now at ease I went t find some food to eat.

It was now that I realised what the scum bag must have hoped was money in my back pocket. The lady who had panicked, had written down some local foods in Chinese and English for me so I could show them to the locals and try them, the scum bags had stolen it, this made me laugh, imagine the disappointment on their face when they realised all they had was a scrap piece of paper with BBQ, not too spicy, Sichuan noodles and dumpling written on it.

I didn’t make it to the park I wanted to visit. I walked up over 1000 steps to discover the top section of the path closed for maintenance. Why they had not put the signs at the bottom of the path I have no idea, that is China for you.

My train from Chongqing to Xi’an was not until 21:22 so I decided to visit the Museum of the Korean Provisional Government Site, a free museum which according to trip advisor had plenty of English translations. Which it was a nice building, I learned nothing of its history as there was not a single word written in English. At least I didn’t spend any money getting the or paying for a ticket to get in.

[justalittlemango]

Entry #16 - 21/01/2020

Well, it’s safe to say returning back to Cheltenham and the whole dorm life has been fairly bittersweet! I guess I adapted very well when I was back home (and I mean, who wouldn’t when you are blessed enough to not worry about money for that period, and great parents who are willing to help you out as much as possible!) It was quite sad on the final day of coming back here with my dad dropping me off, but at the same time it feels quite nice. Nice to have my privacy back, my own bathroom schedule and be able to use my gaming PC again!

It’s currently 6am as I write this, sadly my sleep got interrupted by a phone notification, turns out a friend was spamming me on Steam so now I am awake. The power of the internet right there folks, being able to wake someone up from thousands of miles away. However, I am not too fussed. My semester starts again today, and my lecture is at 11:15 so it’s not all too bad.

Initially I was kind of freaking out, predominantly due to the fact that my first lecture this week involves group-based work... and I guess I’m not really satisfied with the input that I had put in before Xmas for the group, but oh well. I am hopefully willing to change that with this next lecture coming up.

I want to try and get some organisation into the group. Sort out roles for each group member so we know what we’re doing and contribute more ideas together. I think before Xmas I was just so drained, tired and stressed with all the other assignments that my mind just went completely blank. However, it’s a new year now, new semester and that means I gotta be back on my A game.

So I’m feeling relatively optimistic about that, albeit nervous.. but hey, I’m still here and I’ve managed to get through all this shit before in my life, there’s hardly anything stopping me, other than how negatively my mind perceives me. In all fairness, my mood has been quite good ever since Christmas and my last post. I’m hoping it stays that way! I’m satisfied with the long break I had, and now it’s time to work hard again. This project should be fun anyways.

I don’t imagine this project/assignment will be too time-consuming regardless.. we’ve got 4 months to do it and we’ve got a very very basic concept that runs... I guess we just need to keep adding stuff to it over the next 4 months and see how far we get into it. Least that gives me hopes about time-keeping for the other assignments I’m starting this semester which I’m sure will be just as stressy as the ones I’ve just done :^)

Talking of assignments, my creative skills assignment got graded, the one which heavily involves Photoshop, Illustrator and all that graphic design stuff. I got 68, which was 2 marks off the top criteria.. So I’m happy with that! Considering a pass grade is 40, an extra 28 marks on top of that I’m chuffed with. So that’s kept me very positive recently that my work isn’t utter crap!

I am sorta worried for my other two assignments that are yet to be graded. One assignment which is the creating a game in Unity that I had to request an extension for, I feel like I’m going to get a low grade or not pass at all... trying to write the code myself was so difficult so uh, some sort of it was uh, “referenced” from online, i guess. My 3D modelling assignment I’m also sorta worrying about as I rushed it towards Christmas as I requested an extension for that too. Oh well, I’m going to try not to let it play on my mind...

On a more positive note, I decided to get this student housing thing sorted once and for all. I can’t afford to go back into student halls, and I’ma be real with you, but the flatmates you get can be obnoxious as fuck. Not saying that my current flatmates are like that, but uh, we just live and let live and we don’t really speak to each other. But they like to hog the kitchen a lot, and that annoys me. So I don’t really want to put up with that again next year. 

I organised a Discord group thingy between my bf and a friend from the course, so we could get a 3 bed house that’s close to the campus. Thing is, this student house is ideal for me because the rent is so cheap compared to student halls. So if I can get this student house, I’d be able to keep and spend so much more than I get right now. Lets put it this way, in student halls at the moment, I only get £300 to spend across the 3 months. If I was in a student house, on average I’d have just over £1k to save/spend over the 3 months. Yum fucking yum!!! So I really hope to fuc that we can get a place sorted!

I ain’t really got no fear of anything going wrong tbh... we still got quite a bit of time, and there’s still some good choices going around in the area near the university- which is convenient as currently where we stay it is an hour walk to campus, and yeah.... not worth it. I might also mention it to a few friends on the course if they want to also come live with us, but it looks like everyone is sorted... so I think it’s best that we just find a place, inquire, see if we’re happy and then slap the deposit on it.

Conveniently, my dad just got his redundancy money from work and has offered to pay my deposit for me which is a MAJOR help, otherwise I simply would not be able to afford it and live at the same time. So I feel very blessed knowing this. Of course, once we get to the house I am not going to blast any of the money, in fact I might just spend it how I do now, very minimally. Reason being? Overdraft. I gotta get out my overdraft. My bank has started to change the limit of how much is fee-free, and at the moment I can take out up to £2000 and it’s fee-free, but at the end of this year it’s going down to £1500, then the year after it’s £1000, year after is £500 and then so on.

So realistically, it is absolutely in my best interests to go for a student house. I need that money. I have also been looking at costs about doing an internship in Canada, and yes, it is fairly expensive once you count the application fees, flight fees and the fact that the Canadian government want you to prove that you have 2400CAD in your bank to prove that you can sustain yourself in Canada.

I have been looking at the invitation pools for UK residents to take the working holiday visa scheme in Canada, and right now it seems 3k people have signed up, and there’s 6k slots... so... that’s filled some hope in me! I just really hope I get a place!! It is absolutely my dream to work in Canada for the year. I just gotta be on top of my game on December 2020... as I believe that’s when the pools next open. I just hope they don’t mind being there for only a year when the visa grants you two years! But uh, they don’t need to know that hehe... or maybe they do. lol idk.

But yes, a student house is needed in order for all this to be accomplished. I know for a fact I would be more comfortable staying with my bf and a coursemate rather than more random people that I have to awkwardly say hi to when I want to grab my noodles from the kitchen. But yes, I’m estimating that over the second year, I’ll have about £800 or so to spend. That’s amazing. And I want to invest £500 into my overdraft so I can go down to the fee-free amount (£1500), and then do the same for the next instalment so I can go down to £1000, and then save whatever is left from the final instalment to try and sustain myself for if & when I go to Canada. They ask for 2400CAD in your bank, and that’s £1400... I guess as long as I have that in my bank they’ll accept me, and then once I get in I can focus on paying that overdraft off.

I’ve heard internships in Canada pay minimum wage, so if I have extra money in the month that I don’t necessarily need, I’ll send it to my UK bank account and help me get out of that overdraft, as when/if i’m in Canada, the fee-free amount will reduce to £500 or so, therefore I need to get that paid off. I don’t think it should be too difficult, but I’m super relying on these things working out, and lets be real, there’s a very high chance of all this not working out. Though, I won’t allow myself to. I will find a student house. I will save the money I get when I’m at said student house. I will pay my overdraft bit by bit. I will try to save up 2400CAD so I can get accepted into Canada, but the most important part: I will try my best to entice Canadian game studios to accept me.. 

That last part, that’s going to be tricky I think... I hope I am good enough that they will accept me as their intern. I don’t know really. I still don’t know where I wanna go , but anywhere in Canada I’m happy with: particularly if it’s Toronto or Montreal. Hell, I have still been learning French for just in case I do get a place in Montreal. They speak French there? well heck, so will I with all this time I got to do it. Plus, I’ve been wanting to learn French for a while, but just needed a sort of kick up the butt to say “ok, here’s why you should ACTUALLY do it!” and yea :3

That being said , I would also be happy if I got accepted at a studio in Vancouver.. a bit far and very much behind time-wise from the UK, but hey it’s only for the year, I may as well live it up aye? Of course, I am still banking on myself to get accepted into the pools and be invited by the Canadian gov, then consult jobs/studios all over Canada with my work and stuff, then save up the money to get into Canada, all simultaneously while trying to find a roommate in whichever city I get to (however, this seems like a rather simple one as I’ve already seen many apps that can help find roommates and offers seem to come & go A LOT.)

A roommate would definitely be ideal for me, as it would help split the rent. If I’m going to stay in a city like Vancouver or Toronto, it isn’t really possible for me to sustain myself on minimum wage in these cities. So a roommate is ideal. Besides, I need friends when I get there anyway! lol

I wonder if I’ll look back at this post in a few years and think... “Wow Kurt, you thought it was that easy?” - part of me thinks this goal is far-fetched, another part of me sees it as perfectly accomplishable with the correct amount of time, planning and finances. So really... I don’t know. I would say at the moment, probability is low in the likeliness of me getting in, because my work is still a bit.. questionable, as I am still a fresher after all. So I gotta rely on producing really good work that catches the eyes of employers, host a website with my portfolio on it and send it to just as many Canadian studios as I can and then hope for the best. I just really want this goal, it’s an even more motivating goal than thinking of graduation, honestly! 

Welp. I posted a lot on this one, but everything I said here is 100% the things that run through my mind a lot of the nights. I am going to stay optimistic, I’m going to work to the best of my ability and make my creations look appealing, I am going to get that student house so I can be happy financially and secure myself & my goals. Til next time

~mangie

[wannaonerella]

Pt. 3

You stand in front of the mirror and pace back and forth in your bra und underwear. Somehow you are worried about what to wear because 1. It is not really a business meeting and 2. Is it really a date? Low key you want it to be but it might get in the way of working with Daniel on the music video and you don’t want to wreck this amazing chance you got. You try on a cute and casual floral dress and say nah, you go for some cool street wear but that is also not your cup of tea. You end up with regular blue jeans and a white shirt but don’t button it all the way up. You layer on an assortment of necklaces you got from friends as your last birthday present. Not too much cleavage right? No should be fine, only two buttons down. This kind of overthinking makes you crazy and wobbly.

As you arrive to the Chinese restaurant 10 minutes before 8.30pm that has private rooms to eat in, you give your name to the waiter and he responds with: “Oh yes your plus one is already here.” You squeal internally since you had hoped to be there before him. You walk into the door and see Daniel standing up as he sees you and giving you a bright smile. Oh god, he’s so adorable and you basically melt internally once again (girl you aren’t a candle…).

“Hey x/y-ah! You are early too!” He walk over to your chair on the other side and pulls it out. Your heart starts bumping slightly crazier due to his gentleman action while you are sitting down.

You suggest to order since it’s late and it is high time to eat for the both of you. And also to avoid any longer awkward conversations just in case.

“What do you want to eat? I can go with anything besides crustaceous seafood. I am sort of allergic to it.” Says Daniel. In your head you are very much aware of that fact and hold back to say I know since it does feel like you know a wee bit too much about him one-sidedly.

“You go for whatever you want. The check is on me. I’ll take something light because it is so late.”

“Do you want to share something? I will adapt to your liking” and gives you a slight wink. You catch him right away doing that and just stare straight down the menu to avoid any eye contact.

“I’ll take some jjajangmyun noodles and a coleslaw salad. (note: black bean sauce noodles -  if you’ve watched *It’s dangerous outside the blanket* you might know that he likes these kind of instant noodles. Cough *pepper accident*)

“Make it two. Seems like we have similar taste” and grins widely. You try to keep a straight face but it isn’t really working out well for you, you can feel it. You sigh and smile at the same time and Daniel catches that.

“What is funny?” makes a slight puppy face.

“N-n-othing… haha… well you are just… uhm very uhm… funny?” mumbling down the last words.

“Wow, I am sorry if I made you flustered or uncomfortable. You seemed always so professional and smooth while you talked so I thought I can talk more easy-going. You know just like friends talk to each other…”

“Well we aren’t actually friends… we barely know each other on a personal level. But this is the industry we are in right?”

“I guess. I’ve heard a lot of good things about you though.”

“Me? From whom?” you are confused.

“Haha I am not supposed to tell you. But I guess, it was Ji Sung Hyung. He always talked so enthusiastically about you how funny and cool you are. All the amazing work you do and also how you just communicate well with everyone around you while you work and also during breaks and stuff. You create a nice working environment. And I felt that too during the short times we met. I could feel it from around.”

Now you definitely are red. You did not expect Daniel to make you like 1000 compliments in under one minute. And god damn you, Ji Sung! How dare he. It felt like he was playing fairy god mother (Wanna One momma since day 1).

“Oh wow. I didn’t know that he thinks like that about me and funny to hear it from someone completely else lol. Anyways you mentioned work. Perfect, tell me about what kind of ideas you have in mind, I am all ears!” and you switch topic because you feel insecure about what you have to say any further about this topic.

“Can we not talked about work?”

You were just taking a sip of your water when you hear that question and choke on it.

“Cough-cough-cough… W-w-w-hat? Whhhhy not?”

„Oh sorry are you ok?” says Daniel surprised himself and hands you a napkin.

“Yeah sorry I am fine. Clumsy me.”

“Haha x/y you are full of surprises. Already the second time coughing on a drink.” Daniel finds it very amusing and can’t stop laughing about the same situation that had happened on the phone last time. “How about we also order some beer, I like drinking with friends.”

Confused, you just nod. So we are friends now… okay I guess that’s fair. (gurl go hide your disappointment elsewhere)  The evening goes down sort of smoothly than expected and the beer helped a lot. Daniel and you just talked about random stuff and you did end up getting along quite well, finding a lot of common interests. All though you were supposed to talk about work you just exchanged some short ideas but the conversation leaped over to other things quickly. And so the dinner was over faster than expected and it was time to part.

You payed the check even though Daniel insisted. You joked slightly that it was a business dinner technically but a special one since you’d become sort of friends by now. Your guard was all the way down when exiting the restaurant that you had totally forgotten that Daniel is Nation-wide number one idol even if a while ago. A flock of fan girls were waiting around the corner of the restaurant with huge camera and the aura was not pleasant.

Daniel hisses out a “shit” and tried to hide his face last minute with his cap but the fans are fast and they start running towards you two. You have no time to process the situation on and suddenly feel Daniel grabbing your hand and pulling yourself after him. You guys start running down the street. The chase gets intense as the flock of girls start squealing around and keep demanding to let that hand of Daniel go.

You try to think efficiently and the only thing that pops in mind is to take a cab separately. “Daniel, go to the left down the street, there is a bunch of taxis there. Hop into one without me, I will take a separate one and get away as fast as possible man!” you yell at him while huffing from running a half marathon from these fans.

Daniel just sqeezes your hand tighter and gives you thumbs up not being able to turn around from running. He got it, you were glad.

You guys approach the taxi station in quick speed, behind you still an ever following group of angry fan girls…

[askbloomtale]

Chapter 16 is up!!! This chapter has 8000 words and it took me a lot to write! Sorry for being inactive, I just wanted to have it all neatly tied before I continued forward. This chapter is important! So please enjoy and read carefully~

In other news... this blog almost reached the 1000 followers!! It’s a really HUGE number, specially taking into account that this is a fic, and generally fics get less attention than comics, [sad truth </3], so I’m really excited for this! Thank you all for following my story <3

I think that once I reach 1000 words I’ll start working on a small comic featuring Athela <3 So you get to know her better... know what I mean?

Really, guys, THANK YOU! I am so pumped!!!

I’ll leave you to the fic now~

For those who can’t access AO3 or just don’t want to do it, the chapter is pasted under this sexy cut!!!

Bloomtale

Chapter 16 – The last light

   After spending what felt like hours roaming around Snowdin Forest, Athela had finally done it. Finally.  After encountering angry teenagers, dogs, bunnies, ice, giant snowballs and purple flags, she had finally managed to find a save point. How delightful.

The young skeleton was so glad to feel at least some little bit of progression. She just ran to it when she saw it, and would’ve bumped it if the glimmering star had any kind of physical form. But it had naught. It was just a piece of light.

Smiling widely, Athela cupped the shiny fragment with her bony hands, trying to get at least some warmth from it. She was freezing, so much that she could barely feel her fingers. And just staying next to that thing was good, so…

  “Phew,” she let out a relieved sigh when she felt the warmth getting through her bones. The flowers coming out from her eye sockets seemed to get less rigid, too, but it wasn’t exactly enough. She still felt them a bit stiff, so the skelly used her own magic to warm them up.

  Soon enough her left eye started steaming, like a coffee pot. With a pretty blue hue, the vapor went up into the… sky? Ceiling? And made Athela giggle because of the funny, bolstering fog. That felt so much better.

  She didn’t want to save her progress yet, though.

  First, she took a look around her. She was a curious lady, and she wanted to investigate everything. She felt safe enough, since the room was empty of any living being; and she wasn’t going too far, so she left the saving process for later.

  What called out her attention first was the plate of… food, now at her left. Sitting atop a small wooden table, there was what definitely looked like food. Intrigued, she took a better look…

 …

  Spaghetti?

  It definitely looked like spaghetti. There was even a fork next to it… maybe it was someone’s lunch? Athela wasn’t going to lie to herself, she WAS feeling hungry. A bit.

 Rummaging through her belongings, she discovered she still had Toriel’s pie. Looking at it filled her with nostalgia and sadness… she missed the old lady. But she wasn’t answering her phone, so what could she do about it…

 Anyway. She should eat that piece of delicious pastry soon, but… it felt like a waste, to eat it at that precise moment in time. She should leave it for a special occasion... It just felt wrong, to eat it in the middle of the forest.

 She left the pie alone.

  Her eyes went to the spaghetti yet again. Maybe she could eat it… but it surely was someone else’s food, right? And she wasn’t sure about eating food from a foreign place anyway. What if it was bad? Athela was quite picky, after all.

  Hm, what to do…

  While she thought about it, she noticed a note lying next to the table, on the ground. She bent down to get it, and then read it out loud.

  “I made too much spaghetti, so rejoice! I will hereby donate this great leftovers to the public! It’s like a playground for your mouth!” Athela couldn’t repress a growing smile as she read through the message. It was pretty cute. And a really nice detail, to top it! She read the signature, which was written in bigger, somehow cooler letters “Nyeh- heh- heh, Papyrus.”

  A signature! Great. Now she knew that the one who made the spaghetti was named Papyrus.

 …

 She didn’t know that Papyrus person at all, so the name didn’t tell her anything anyway.

  Athela sighed as she left the note on the ground again, wishing she did at least know who Papyrus was. She would thank him… or her, she wasn’t sure. Papyrus sounded like a guy’s name, so she would go with “he” for the time being. Yes, she would thank him for the food, and maybe they could be friends… maybe. Or maybe not, maybe he would also be a weirdo that enjoyed attacking her just because.

 But she doubted that. She would believe in that seemingly kind person, because leaving food for people was something nice. Surely he would not be a strange guy. In fact, the only strange thing there was the location of the plate itself. Why leave it in the middle of the forest? Wasn’t there a place less… cold?

  Oh well, she wasn’t going to say no to free food.

 …

 Or maybe she would. It would all depend on the flavor of the dish itself.

   She gave one final look to the plate and went for the fork immediately afterwards. With it, she went for the spaghetti. She poked them with it.

 …

 The spaghetti was completely stiff. And also stuck to the plate.

  “Wow.” Athela rose an eyebrow, partially confused, but mostly disappointed. That meant no food was gonna be eaten, then. What a shame. She poked a bit more, frustrated. Even the tomato sauce was rock hard. She tried grabbing the plate, but the plate was also stuck to the table.

  How sad… it was too cold for you to leave your food out there, apparently.

  She left the fork with a heavy sigh, and then noticed… the microwave.

  To her right, there was another table with a microwave. Maybe she could heat up the spaghetti and then…!

  …

 …

  Huh. It was unplugged.

  “Why…?” Athela sighed, disheartened. Food was nice, who would do this? It all felt like a big prank where she was offered food but could never eat it. Why put it there in the first place?? Sad face. To add more of the ridiculous factor to the whole thing, all of the microwave settings said ‘spaghetti’.

Well, she would not blame the person who put that there. Surely that Papyrus guy did it with all his good intention, and didn’t expect the food to freeze like that. The unplugged microwave was… something else, alright, but still. It didn’t look like something done out of ill will. Maybe Papyrus never realized it didn’t work. So it was all fine… well, mostly.

Because poor Athela was even hungrier now that she had seen food. She wanted to eat something… but alas. Nothing could be done. She whined a bit, and then… a squeak. Surprised, the skeleton rose her head and looked at the further wall. There was a small mouse looking out from one hole. What a cutie, she thought. Maybe it was hungry too?

 But she had no food to offer. It was all frozen. Like herself. She was like a plate of spaghetti out in Snowdin Forest, doomed to freeze if left alone for too long.

 …

 That was a bit depressing. Begone, bad thoughts! She was not going to freeze! That’s what hunger gets you, a miserable skeleton. But… so what!?

  So maybe she could never get the pasta. What about it? She would eat something eventually, for sure!

 But the mouse? If the mouse lived there, maybe it would be able to get it! Maybe one day it would find a way to heat up the spaghetti, and therefore eat it. She could already imagine the little rodent chewing on a noodle, with a proud expression on its cute rodent face.

  And that thought.

 It filled her with a good feeling.

   “Ouch!” Athela quickly brought a hand to her skull and grasped her hair once she felt a painful pressure on the right side of her head. What a familiar feeling…

  Looking behind her, she saw the save point glimmering more intensely than before. So that meant her progress had been saved, huh? As always. She was already getting used to the process… but she could never get used to the overall feeling.

 At least she didn’t have to worry about suddenly dying and going back to the box road anymore, and that was good. So she just sighed, and after warming up a bit more next to the golden light she decided to continue her journey. Maybe there wasn’t much more of a road to walk. Maybe the town was… just ahead.

 Hehe.

  It wasn’t.

  Of course it wasn’t. Athela sighed once more as she saw a more deserted area, which had a few more pine trees covered in snow. She took a step ahead, and then noticed a sign that was right next to one of the first trees to her left. She got closer to it and read it out loud.

  “Warning: Dog Marriage,” she pronounced those words with quite a confused tone. “What does that even mean?” The skeleton pondered as she rubbed her temples. Could dogs even marry?

  … Well, that was a dumb question. She just saw a dog monster that was taller than she was. There were surely more. And maybe some were married. Athela spent some seconds imagining a female dog monster dressed with a white gown, smiling as she grasped a beautiful bouquet of white roses. A dog with a fancy black tuxedo waiting for her at the altar, with a silly smile on his face. She chuckled at the thought. It was just like in those cartoons she watched when she was really small… what was the name of the show again?

 She couldn’t quite remember.

  But wait, that wasn’t the time to be fascinated by dog weddings. That sign was a warning signal. Warning. What was the warning about, exactly? She didn’t know. But… maybe she should just avoid dog monsters in general. In fact, after her last encounter with one of them, that seemed to be the best possible idea. Yes.

  The sign truly worried her, actually. Regardless of whether she would encounter married dogs or not, it meant that there would BE, at least, some dogs in the area. She looked around, nervous. Which path should she take now?

  She looked at her left. The road ended there, the end of the cliff let Athela see a beautiful sight; it was really dark and it was hard to see, but… she could see something if she stared for a bit. The trees looked really small, and there was a little house, and… and… she didn’t want to get any closer to the edge. She didn’t feel comfortable around high places anymore, because she could fall down and break into dust yet again. So she would… go forward.

 There was another path at her right, but she had been going forward all the time, so she would stick to that. She gave a brief look to the snowy path and then started walking again.

 This area didn’t seem as eerie as the latest ones, Athela thought as she took a look around. She didn’t know why, but it was less creepy. Still not her piece of cake, but at least she wasn’t scared to walk around there, unlike the very first path she walked in. The skeleton took a second to remember the tall trees from the beginning of the forest, the sensation that someone was following her.

 …

 Well, she was certainly being followed. By Flowey. Athela didn’t have the slightest idea where he was, but he surely was creeping around. As he always did. It had been a while since she saw him, but no way had she forgotten about him so fast.

  Trying to forget about the flower demon, Athela came to a stop.

  “A dead end…” She groaned as she looked at the literal end of the road. Another precipice, huh? Great. Now she would have to take the other road… not like it annoyed her much, but she had been wanting to get to a cozy warm place for a long time, now. She didn’t enjoy retracing her steps.

  She was about to turn around, when suddenly…

 A bark.

  “Huh?” Athela tried to look for the source of the noise. She didn’t have to look much; right behind a tree, a fully-armored dog watched her with big, intense eyes. He was wielding a stone dagger… and the skeleton didn’t like that.

  Why was there an armored pup in the middle of the forest?

  Athela would not really think about it too much.

She laughed weakly as the dog got out of his hiding spot, panting softly.

   “H-hey, doggy…” She shakily waved a bony hand, and the dog followed it with his eyes. Oops. Maybe that had been a bad idea… It would be really horrible if that pooch thought her hands were a dog treat. Athela decided to retreat. “Sorry, I… I have to go…”

  She took a single step backwards.

  The dog took a single step forward.

  Athela gulped, feeling a chill down her spine. She took another step back, and the dog followed. He emitted a tiny bark and cocked his head to one side.

 …

  To be fair, he looked quite cute… Maybe she could… give him a little pet.

 No, no, no way. He was looking at her weirdly, as if he wanted something from her. Something like a bone. No, not her bones, she needed them to live!!

  Scared, she decided to try and ignore the dog, so she walked faster to take the path she needed to walk. Heavy steps followed her, and she felt like freaking out. The faster she walked, the faster the pup followed. Maybe he meant no harm, but boy, she was afraid.

  Barks intensified.

She started running.

  And soon enough, she was on the floor. Bumped by a big, armored dog, who was extremely heavy. Her head almost hit on a rock that was merely inches away, and Athela felt her SOUL skip a beat. Well, maybe more than a single beat.

  “Eek!! Get off, get off!!” She pleaded as she desperately tried to lift her body upwards. Thankfully, she had managed to avoid her face sinking in the snow, because that would’ve led to some painful, freezing moment. Her flowers wouldn’t have liked that.

  However, the dog was too heavy. Surely most of the blame was on the armor he was wearing… Athela was pretty weak, and putting such a heavy thing on top of her was… well, it was bad. It hurt. It hurt a lot, and it made her sink in the snow more and more.

  The dog was not obeying her, he kept sitting on top of her and yapping. Athela knew she would break soon enough. She knew she was going to die. A single tear escaped her left eye as she tried to wiggle her way out… but to no avail. She wasn’t getting away.

 It was cold. Her clothes were wetting, and it was freezing. It was painfully heavy… she shrieked a bit, but her voice came out muffled.

  She would pass out soon; Athela didn’t know when, but soon. It was that, or bury her face in the snow to make it quicker. She didn’t want to die… but she couldn’t do anything.

  For the first time ever, she wished she could just go back in time by herself. To the save point. She wished it with all her might. To escape the pain. Just… escape…

  …

  Of course she couldn’t do that.

  Her ribs snapped.

She was hiding.

  It had been a couple resets already, and Athela couldn’t be feeling more desperate. She was probably forever scared of dogs now.

 Behind a tree, next to a pile of snow, Athela hid and cried softly. She didn’t want to attract the dog with her whining, after all. The second time she went to that area, the skeleton ignored the path she took the first time and headed south… but there were spikes in the way. Hateful, hateful spikes.

 So she freaked out… and stood there, thinking about what she should do, for too long. She looked for a way around, for another path going down the cliff… maybe a switch hidden on a pine tree that would lower them… nothing.

 After some minutes, the same dog from before appeared and crushed her again with his cute fervor. And the third time, her face was just buried in the snow by a very enthusiastic tackle. That pup just seemed like he wanted to hunt her and crush her in the snow, apparently…

  She didn’t know what was better, the crushing pain or the freezing pain.

  Because the crushing pain wasn’t so intense, but it was slower and made her feel helpless and desperate. The other kind was incredibly intense, and it spread through her whole head… so it was kind of unbearable. But it was fast… so it ended soon, and…

 …

 Was she actually pondering which death was worse? Seriously?

  Dying was bad! She didn’t want to die, and she didn’t want to face that dog ever again!! He was obviously a bit too intense for her. Maybe he just wanted to play, or maybe he wanted to eat her because she was made of bones and dogs like bones or whatever, right??

  Take a deep breath, Athela. Take a deep breath and don’t cry. He can surely hear you if you keep doing that annoying weeping. She needed to think fast… what to do?? She had been hiding for too long, maybe she could find a solution for the spikes, and maybe she could do it right now? Quick, what seemed suspicious over there?

 …

 No, Athela, don’t panic. You can’t think if you’re panicking. Deep breaths, again. Come on, you can do this. Wipe out your tears and Look for suspicious things… suspicious… suspicious…

 ….

 That snow in front of the spikes… Wasn’t it too… loose?

  Like, it looked as if it had been stirred. She had to fixate her sane eye to actually realize this… it was difficult if you only had one eye – partially covered with flowers, to even make it worse – to see what she had around her. She just tried her best anyway.

 Maybe the button was under that thing? She wanted to hope it was.

  She walked to the suspicious snow and bent down to remove a bit with her hands. It was freezing; she gave a small, unconscious yelp once she felt the coldness. She had yet to get used to it, apparently.

 There was too much show… Athela decided to get rid of the sleet with her feet, since she was wearing shoes. She kicked it, and saw the snowflakes rolling away quickly. Just as she thought, there was something hidden there! Black lines? She needed to kick all the snow away if she wanted to make sure of what it was.

  Suddenly, she could see two shadows in the snow. They came from behind!!

  Turning around as fast as she could, she gazed upon two monsters. One strange creature with a really big, round head and a strange, spiky cap made of ice. Athela would mentally call it Ice Cap. So, Ice cap and…

 Uh.

 What was the other guy supposed to be?

  Athela didn’t know… She stared at it for a while, not sure how to feel. The monster let out a yawn, not covering his mouth while doing so.

  “The Wi-Fi here sucks,” it said, making the skeleton blink in disbelief. What was it talking about? Wi-Fi? What’s Wi-Fi? She was about to ask, but the other monster rolled its eyes and let out a sigh, clearly bothered by its pal and by Athela herself.

First impression: Annoying.

  “Where’s YOUR hat?” The capped monster said. Athela rose an eyebrow. That other monster was also weird. Not even a greeting, just right to… criticize her for not having a hat? At least that’s what its eyes were saying.

  Athela didn’t like hats. She liked to have her head naked, so her hair would be majestic and free, like it should be. Because her hair was really pretty, yes it was. Like her mom’s.

 But she had no time to think about stuff like that. She needed to find a solution for the puzzle! She still had to discover what was underneath the snow, so…

  “Eh… sorry, but I don’t have a hat. I’m busy right now, so maybe we can talk later?” She tried to be polite before turning around. She heard one of the monsters sigh in annoyance.

 “Wow, you guys SUCK at this.”

 “Shut it, Jerry!”

  Oh, so the strange monster was named Jerry. That name fit it, somehow. But she didn’t give it any mind. She needed to be fast, before the dog arrived. Sadly, Ice Cap didn’t seem to mind her rush, it sounded really annoyed.

  “What? What are you doing?” It inquired, with an angry tone. Athela, worried about the change in attitude, turned around.

 “I… er…” Oops. It didn’t seem pleased. But… but she didn’t have time for this! She needed to hurry, and… and she had been polite!

 “Guys, it’s COLD. Does anyone care?” Jerry asked, crossing its arms. Athela would agree, but the conversation was really getting a bad turn there, so… she ignored it. Ice Cap also ignored Jerry, since it had other things to complain about rather than just the cold. Would it even mind about the cold anyway? Its hat was made of ice. And the monster, too, looked like a little snowman itself.

 “Hello?? My hat’s right here!!” It said, frowning. Pointing to its hat. Cap. Whatever it was, Athela didn’t care. But it WAS a nice one, she had to admit…

  Maybe she had been offensive because she never complimented the monster’s hat? Maybe it was upset because she ignored it…

  She managed to tear her eyes away from Ice Cap’s hat once she noticed a really familiar sensation. Her SOUL right in front of her, as purple as always. Maybe a little less bright than she remembered? She wouldn’t trust her memory on that matter anyway. Her memory was bad and she should feel bad.

 She stared at her own SOUL for a few seconds before panicking; that meant battle!! She snapped just in time to see some icicles fly towards her.

  Yelping, she barely managed to avoid the first row of three. But somehow, they kept coming. More, and more, and more… did that assault ever end?? It was the longest attack she had ever suffered. Was it really that mad??

  And meanwhile, Jerry just watched while eating powdery food. It licked its hands loudly.

 Eww, gross.

  One icicle pierced her shoulder, making her shriek in pain.

 She couldn’t just avoid them all, could she…?

 That added another death to the counter.

  “Wow! You have a great hat!” Athela had turned around as soon as she saw Ice Cap’s shadow and complimented it. The teen monster’s face lit up; it seemed pleased. Immediately after that, however, it frowned and made an arrogant smile.

 "Duh! Who DOESN'T know?" It said, truly proud of itself.

 “Ka-SIGH,” Jerry shrugged and looked elsewhere with a bored expression.

  For now they weren’t attacking her, so Athela started removing snow again; being extremely careful not to look like she was ignoring them. That sufficed…for the time being.

  “I’m sure you’re jealous of my hat! Everyone is!” Ice Cap just stared at the skeleton lady, not really willing to help. But that was fine with her.

“I wouldn’t wear it as nicely as you, sadly.” She didn’t want to say she wanted to wear a hat, because that would be a lie. She tried to… redirect the conversation a bit with a smooth remark.

  Ice Cap was truly flattered.

  “That’s true! You seem to know well who has the best hat around!” It said, nodding. A faint blush on its face. Jerry sighed again, and started eating powdery food again. Athela tried to crack the best smile she could… and failed.

 She could barely even see them anymore.

   After some nice attention to Ice Cap, and none to Jerry, – because Jerry wasn’t really asking for attention, Jerry was just doing gross things, like sneezing  without covering its nose and then licking its hands after eating even more powdery food, – Ice Cap decided to leave. Looks like it was satisfied with the attention Athela gave it.

  The young lady sighed, relieved, once she saw it leave. No offense, but she was still in a hurry. Remember, there was a dangerous dog around…

  “Well… this is it. Looks like a map,” Athela stared at the black lines on the floor, crossing her arms in distress. She was getting cold, and… sadly, skeletons lack any kind of body heat, so she couldn’t really warm herself up.

  She tried glowing her eyes again…

 …

 She was still cold.

  “Oh, no…” She tried again, but to no avail. Her right eye was completely dysfunctional, apparently; she couldn’t feel any kind of warmth from it. And her left eye… it glowed, but not that much.

 Panicky, she tried moving the left side flowers aside for a bit whilst doing her best to ignore the pain. She could see a bit better… but it was awful to even touch the flowers. She was too cold. And let’s not forget, the flowers were in her eye sockets. It still felt like putting your fingers inside your eye: not nice.

  Well, there was nothing to worry about. Not for now, right? There was a save point really close by, she could just go back to it if she got too cold…

 …

 Maybe she was just avoiding reality… but at least that helped her stay sane.

 She was doing her best, and…

   “Why are we doing this? What a fail," Athela frowned and turned around.

  Why was Jerry still there?

  Its friend left, shouldn’t it just go away too? Well, not like Jerry was dangerous or anything like it… Athela had yet to see it attack. Jerry was harmless, and that was good. But…

  "Well... can YOU give me a ride home?" It said, crossing its arms in a sassy gesture.

  Gosh.

 It was so annoying.

  “No, I can’t,” she answered quickly and went back to the puzzle. Maybe Jerry would go away if she just… kept ignoring him.

  On the other hand… let’s concentrate on the map, shall we?

  She was GUESSING it was a map, because it was a square with lines, and there was a red cross, like a treasure map. But that was no treasure hunt. More like… a switch hunt? Since Athela’s main goal was to lower the spikes that kept her trapped on that room.

 Finding a treasure would also be pretty cool, though.

  No, Athela. Focus. The red X was over there, at the top-right part. Gosh, the map was huge… she could fit inside and by much.

  “Hmmm…” Trying to ignore Jerry’s snarky comments about how much everything sucked, Athela tried to locate herself on the map. It wasn’t hard, actually. She could see the similarities between the room and the drawing pretty well; the big space had to be the area in front of where she had come from… She positioned herself at that point on the map and started walking on it. As I said, the map was huge.

  So she was standing at the bottom-left part of the map. That’s where she was. Good. Funny how even the trees were represented there, with black dots. So much thought put onto that puzzle; Athela was impressed.

 It would be even better if there wasn’t a dangerous dog trying to hunt her around.

  But that wasn’t the person who made the map’s fault.

  So, the red mark was at…

  …

  …

   Oh, no.

    She had to go up again?? But that’s where the dog was! Oh no, oh no… what could she do now? No way was she going up there for a second time!!

  “So. Like, I need to go to the bathroom,” Jerry announced. Athela just nodded, somehow wishing it would really go away. But it didn’t, of course. It stayed with her, like a leech.

  The skelly was just exasperated. Going up… that would mean certain death. And not like Jerry was going to help, that was for sure. Ugh…

  A simple head turn and she could glimpse something golden in the trees far ahead. Squinting her eyes, she focused on it…And a shiver went down her spine.

  Flowey.

  …

  Wait, was he giggling??

  Oh, just great. Of course it was funny. She was about to die AND stuck with an annoying weirdo that wouldn’t shut up. That was certainly amazing. Great, Flowey, laugh as much as you want. She deserved all that mocking.

  Ugh. Now she was cranky. Well, maybe she could just…

   “Sssh! Girl, I’m THINKING!” Jerry continued talking. Gosh!!

 “Jerry. Go away,” Athela just said that as boldly as she could. She was more than done with it. She didn’t think it would work, though; surely it would stay there. Jerry was about to say something, but it sneezed again. Really loudly. And of course, no mouth or nose covering whatsoever. That was so gross; good thing she was far away enough from it.

  Athela sighed, done with the world. Something told her that being with the dog would be somewhat better than this.

 Of course, that pessimistic point of view disappeared once she turned her head north and saw the dog right there, staring and panting with his tongue out.

  Now Athela just wanted her mom again.

   “Sure. Whatever.” The skeleton looked at Jerry, bewildered. Did it just agree to leave??

  Yes. Yes, it was gone now. Walking away. Athela couldn’t believe it… She would’ve done that a long time ago if she had just known. But… now she was alone against the dog again. She felt as if she had gotten so far, and now…

  The dog barked and ran to her. Athela yelled and braced for impact.

  It was the first time she fell on her back instead than on her face; it was way better. Now she didn’t have to worry about dying from the cold, since the flowers were out of the way of the snow. But… the dog was as heavy as always. His fur was right on her face, and it smelled strongly of dog chow.

 At that moment, Athela knew she preferred a death by sudden freeze. Anything that wasn’t as long and excruciating as the crushing, please, she couldn’t stand it! She felt like crying… but no tears came out of her eyes. However, her voice was still cracked, as if she were, despite everything, crying. She snapped.

  “No! No, go away! Bad dog!! Bad!!!” She yelled as loud as she could, pushing the pup desperately. Or… trying to push him. He was such a heavy doggy.

  And maybe it was the despaired expression on her face. Maybe it was the loud yelling. Or maybe it was the fact that she called him a bad dog, who knows? That Lesser Dog whined. He wasn’t a bad puppy, he just wanted a friend and some bones. He just thought she was playing hide and seek… but now she was sad, and he was a bad dog.

 Some of the weigh was lifted, and Athela felt a warm, wet tongue going up her face. Puzzled, she watched as the dog got off her and sat on the ground, head and tail down. Whimpering.

  “… Oh.” She didn’t know what to say. Why was he acting like a scolded pupper now? Was it because she had insulted him? True, she was desperate and crankier than before, that’s why she did it, but… Oh no, now she felt bad. She didn’t like dogs that much, but let’s be fair, dogs are so cute. She couldn’t ignore a whining puppy. Even if that pup had killed her before. “I… I’m sorry…”

  Lesser Dog, however, just turned around and left.

  Great. Now she felt like garbage.

   “Hey, will you look at that! He’s gone!” Abruptly, Flowey popped out right next to Athela, making her yelp once again.

 “Eeek!!” She yelped and fell on her butt. Ouch, that hurt. Flowey just yelled.

 “Priceless.” He nodded. “Looks like you did it! You made someone feel bad! Next step: Murder!” The flower shifted his face slightly, to make it look creepier.

  Athela wasn’t faced anymore by that, anyway. It was just a threat, and some scary faces, but just that. If he had added some pellets, then she would be really scared. But it wasn’t the case.

 “No, thank you,” still, she had to be extra careful with her wording. Who knew when Flowey would actually try to attack her? A misstep could be lethal.

 “A flower can dream, hey,” he smirked. Then, he made a kinder face and looked at Athela in the eye. “By the way, how are you doing?”

  She stood there, silent, for a while. Surprised and apprehensive.

  “Why do you care?” She asked. Flowey just laughed.

 “Golly! Because we’re best friends, silly~” And he winked. The skeleton didn’t know if she should feel angry or sad because he was clearly mocking her. Anyway, she decided to continue with the conversation.

 “I can barely see you now,” Athela restrained herself from saying that she was almost glad. Because that would be mean, and… well, she preferred to know where the little demon was at all times. Just in case.

 “Hee hee… what will you do when you stop seeing completely?” He asked, with a mischievous smile. Athela shivered.

  She didn’t know.

  What would she do?

  The idea of going blind before even getting to a safe place terrified her. The forest was really cold, and… she would not survive for long if she wandered around there for too long. She would certainly freeze to death, and…

  And…

  …

  Flowey was gone.

  “W-where…?” Athela turned around and moved her head to see if he was hiding in one of her blind spots. But no; looks like he was gone. Maybe he went to hide behind the trees just to spook her.

  Well, it was working.

  The poor skeleton shivered once again and decided it would be a good idea to run back to her last save point again, since she was almost feeling numb. Her head and eyes hurt… and she could always go solve the puzzle later.

  Chilling next to a warm spot at that moment didn’t seem like a bad idea.

“What’s that smell?” The male dog’s voice reverberated again on Athela’s head. Just like it did last time. And the time before that.

 “(Where’s that smell?)” The female dog’s voice echoed right after the male’s, sounding as wary as she sounded the first two times.

  Athela breathed in and out, determined. She could barely see them now; there was barely a tiny inch of light that she could see through on her left eye.

 The flowers had almost consumed everything.

  But she could still see. She could still FIGHT.

 Or… dodge. Whatever.

  “If you’re a smell…” The male continued his speech with a deep, serious voice, and his partner walked right after him.

 “(… Identify yoursmellf!)”

  They started walking around her, in erratic circling, as they sniffed the air, looking for the source of that new smell. She was right there, still as a statue, since the first time running away didn’t work as planned. Athela didn’t have a heart, but she could feel her SOUL inside of her, pulsating strongly. Uneasy.

  Since this could be her last chance.

  Athela kneeled down and grabbed some pieces of the awfully cold snow. It was so cold… and painful. Her fingers started feeling numb soon. But she had to do it. She stood up again, just in time for one of the dogs to get right beside her. With his snoot next to her skeleton arms.

  Sniff, sniff.

  “Hmmm... Here’s that weird smell,” he murmured, sniffing her arm carefully. Athela needed to stay still, or else they wouldn’t be able to sniff correctly. And that would be bad.

  Though that situation was bad for her hands, too. The snow was freezing her fingers. She needed to… stay… strong…

  “Smells like bones,” the canine monster didn’t seem completely satisfied with that, though. He moved his nose and started sniffling her clothes. Athela took the chance to rise her hands packed with snow. The dog, meanwhile, kept evaluating. “This smells like snow…”

 “I’m so sorry…” The young skeleton muttered as she felt her nonexistent heart break into a million pieces.

  Then, she splashed the snow on her hair.

  It was so cold she wanted to yelp. The snow was slowly permeating through her silky, precious hair. And getting to her skull. To a normal human, that would feel like a brain freeze after eating ice cream too fast. But Athela didn’t know that.

 Luckily, the flowers were INSIDE her skull, not outside. Therefore, she didn’t die. Instead, she just… froze for a few seconds.

  “This also smells like snow,” Dogamy said as he reached and sniffed Athela’s hair, now wet because of the snow.

“(Are you actually a snow skeleton?)” Dogaressa mumbled, interested. She poked Athela’s arm. She was warm… Athela wanted to cuddle her. But she was still wary and afraid of dogs.

  She nodded. Unlike the first dog, it was clear they could see her, and… unlike the second dog, they could talk and reason. But they didn’t seem very smart, either; or at least they weren’t able to recognize what she was if they didn’t have a clear smell.

  The first time she died to them, she had tried to run away. Sadly, that went terribly wrong… and it ended with an axe on her head. Athela preferred not to remember that. So, the second time she acted smart, and analyzed everything the dogs did. They smelled her, and she smelled like bones and like snow… except for her hair. Her hair smelled like human.

 And that made them want to eliminate. Eliminate HER.

  Clearly, her clothes smelled like snow because that enthusiastic pup had tackled her to the floor earlier… but her hair still smelled a bit like human. Maybe because she got it from her mom.

 Athela wondered if her mom and her hair smelled the same. That would be really cool.

  In any case, Athela learnt the lesson. There was no way she could dodge two dogs at the same time, so she had to do something before she encountered them. It broke her heart to make that to her precious hair, but… it was better to be wet than to be dead.

  “Can you give us a bone?” Dogamy asked, eagerness growing in his voice.

 “(We love bones,)” Dogaressa affirmed, equally thrilled. They were waving her tails in excitement, and Athela found that really cute.

  Athela’s teeth were starting to clatter.

  “S-sure…” Oops, her voice sounded so muffled and hoarse. Maybe it was because of the cold? At least using magic implied getting warm… and she needed that. She concentrated and started making her eyes glow.

  Well, her eye.

 Or… what was left of it.

  She tried her best, and the dogs could see that. They watched as her left eye shone as strong as it could for a short period of time. Then, the light blinked, as if it were glitching.

 It was the first time that ever happened to Athela. She got a little scared, and the spell went wrong.

  The bone was extremely small.

 And she felt extremely tired. She needed to sit down… her legs were failing.

  Dogaressa held her, worried.

  “Are you okay, snow skeleton?” Dogamy asked, equally worried. “Hot dog, I think she’s sick.”

 “Hot… dog…” Athela murmured, a little bit out of it, and Dogaressa soon clarified.

 “(He means me.)”

 “Oh…”  The young skeleton doubted that was the dog’s real name, but for now she would be the hot dog, alright.

  Athela didn’t get to do much after that, though. She felt awful, and luckily the two dogs had enough body heat to warm her up, because she would’ve died if they hadn’t been there. She was taken away someplace else, but she couldn’t see where exactly; she felt too dizzy to even open her eyes. They seemed to have good intentions anyway, so she didn’t struggle. They didn’t walk much, though, and meanwhile she could hear them saying something about “resting for a bit”.

 They also apologized.

 She was left on the floor, with her back peacefully resting against a wall. A couple pats to her beautiful, wet hair, and then it was cold again.

  …

  …

  …

  Wait, it was cold!!

  Athela abruptly opened her eyes, just to see… almost nothing, alright. Looking frantically in every direction, she could guess they had taken her to the spaghetti room again. In one hand, it seemed logical, since that seemed like a chill-out place to just rest, and what she needed was rest.

On the other hand… it meant that the town wasn’t near enough for the mutts to take her there. She felt her SOUL sinking at that thought…

  But no! She didn’t know for sure that was true! Maybe they just took her there because… well, she couldn’t think of a proper reason now, but maybe!! Surely?

 The town had to be close by now, it had to be!!

  And she had managed to pass all the obstacles on that room… so! She was one step closer now! She just had to keep going, and then… then! She would make it! She had gotten so far already… she couldn’t just give up like that! She would surely get there, all she had to do was keep her positivity. Baby steps.

  Doing her best to keep determined, Athela felt a slow wave of pain going through her skull. It started at the exact same place where the prior pains did, but this time it expanded slowly, making her feel as if he was having a heavy headache. She growled and brought her hands to her head, grabbing it softly.

 It hurt.

  Progress saved.

   It was not long after that her pain went away. She didn’t feel… great. But she was fine. The save point was there, she could see its bright twinkling and feel its warmth. She decided to stay there for a while, since her hair needed some serious drying.

 She shivered and stood there for a while.

  Then, just in case, she saved again. The pain came back, but she stood it; she needed to do so if she wanted to maximize the amount of time she would pass down there. And so, after doing this, Athela walked through her previous steps one more time, getting deeper into the forest.

 Closer to freedom.

 Thankfully, the spikes were still down, and Jerry was nowhere to be seen. Excellent news.

  The road led to a new place, and it was the first time for her there. Feeling a little bit nervous, Athela observed it as best as she could while caressing her flowers. It was getting even colder now, wind was howling mercilessly and her eyes were feeling the painful breeze from the forest.

  “That’s… a sign,” Athela could distinguish a button on the floor, and a lonely sign placed next to some rocks. The rocks were aligned strangely… of course, that must be a puzzle. She prayed that it was something safe. She read the indications out loud, and her voice turned out hoarse once more… but she didn’t mind it. “Turn every X into a 0. Then press the switch.”

  Wait, X? What X? Athela couldn’t see any…

 Oh.

 Of course, she couldn’t see anything because she was almost as blind as a melon. Following basic logic, she guessed the Xs were inside the closed areas the strangely aligned rocks formed.  The skeleton bent down to confirm… and yes, there it was.

 Upon touch, the X turned into a 0.

  “That was easy!” Pleased, she went to the other side. Luckily, there were only two she needed to change. The button was pressed, and then… then what?

  She heard a sound, but…

  Inspecting the room, she noticed some small holes on the floor that looked like lowered spikes. Athela sighed, smiling; it was good, but she should just check the whole room before doing things, shouldn’t she?

  Athela’s thoughts were stopped by the howling wind, once again. She yelped and covered as many flowers as she could, but sadly, skeleton hands weren’t famous for being able to protect you from the icy wind. She was still freezing…

 Shivering, the skeleton wondered for a second time how big was the mountain itself to have wind and micro climates. Because the Ruins were warm, and this Snowdin place had snow, so… that was really strange. Why would that be? Athela was no speleologist, so she couldn’t even take a wild guess. Her brain was as frozen as herself.

  Frozen…

 Athela remembered the spaghetti. She just left them there like that… hopefully the mouse would eat some day. She was hungry as well, but she had no time to spare imagining a nice slice of pie. She had to hurry… wind was too cold.

  Walking faster, Athela encountered yet another puzzle. Or what looked like it, of course… not like she could see the whole thing. She just knew about the spikes blocking the way after walking and exploring for a bit.

 This new puzzle was way more complicated. With her reduced vision she barely managed to find all the Xs, and… sadly, difficulties rose up once she stepped twice on one tile, turning it into a green triangle. Growling, she tried to reset it, and tried again.

  And again.

  And yet again.

  Who knows how much time she spent trying to solve it? Her whole self was hurting once she pressed the switch and the spikes were lowered. The exhaustion from using magic constantly, to keep herself warm, had worn her greatly. She felt like fainting.

  “I… I have to go back,” she muttered, shaking like a leaf. She had focused on the puzzle way too much, and now… would she even manage to go back to the save point? Her body was stiff… and…

  What if she died? Would she become blind, at last? But then… she would not be able to solve the puzzle like that. Her eyes… she needed her eyes. She couldn’t die. Not yet.

 Please, not yet.

 Athela didn’t know if there would be a save point in the next room, but she couldn’t take the risk... or… more like she didn’t want to take it. Saving as much time as possible was crucial, being as terrified of freezing to death as she was.

  So she retraced her steps.

  Stumbling, with her whole body rattling and partially numb, she tried to quickly go back to the last save point, to the spaghetti room. At least, as fast as her near-sighted eye and frozen legs would let her, of course.

  But… midway, her legs gave away. She fell on her knees with a surprised, weak cry, and immediately after, she tried to remain steady by holding herself with her arms.

  “No, not now… please, just… just a bit further…” Looking up, she saw the snow map she discovered before. She was almost there… pleading, desperately praying under her breath, she tried to stand up. She tried using her arms to push herself up, feeling how her SOUL shriveled in fear.

 Her arms also failed to support her.

  Feeling like she couldn’t make another single movement, Athela fell to the snow. She tried turning her head so the flowers wouldn’t enter in direct contact with the snow. Maybe she would be able to get up… maybe… She couldn’t die now. Please, no…

 Trembling, she tried to move. For a second, it looked like her numb body would move… but she fell again. This time, not to stand up again.

  And the world went dark forever.

    Athela - LV 1 Snowdin – Spaghetti Nº Resets: 40

[fatboyschl1mm]

Gorillaz interview with Spex Magazine, May/June 2017

I really enjoyed this interview but I couldn’t find it anywhere in English. I wanted to share this with you so I translated it from German and since English isn’t my first language I hope you can forgive me if there are some mistakes.

(This took me several hours so I hope you enjoy it! :) )

Murdoc

Murdoc Faust, what do you think: How does the future of the Humanz look like?

Of humanzkind? Of humanzeness? That’s a hard one. In 1000 years silicon-based, artificial intelligences will have ripped us off. Humanz 2.0 - sounds like a sinister sci-fi nightmare but maybe that’s our fate. Who knows? Fact is, we rapidly evolve faster than every aggressive bacterium, if we like it or not. And that’s what our new album addresses.

Slavoj Žižek claims, beyond the fiction of reality, there is the reality of the fiction. What do you make of that?

I think Slavoj must have really been blazing it up. Good fella. I also had some of my greatest enlightenments when I was completely wasted. For example when I constructed my famous hypothesis: I drink, therefore I am. If you want to hear my two cents on fiction and reality: I’ve always been of the opinion, if one can touch it, it’s real. For example I’m touching myself right now and I must say that I feel 100% solid.

And how does it feel to be the head of the last real band on this planet?

Oh, come on, mate! Gorillaz are the first real band on this planet. That’s the point. We’re no puppets, we don’t have a script, we do whatever we want, damn it. Like this morning. I walked inside a confectionery, got myself a proper Black Forest gateau, walked out, - and smashed it on the street. With run-ups and everything. Just for the fun of it. That’s what Gorillaz is about.

2D

2D, how should Great Britain spend the 300 million Pounds, that are allegedly saved by the Brexit every day?

When the United Kingdom needs my advice, it seems to be even more troubled, than I thought. I’m not very good with money. That’s why Murdoc only gives me 3 Pounds of pocket money every week. But maybe they can pour the millions in a pyramid scheme? People love pyramids so if we build enough of them, we could help tourism to a real boom.

What do you think when you come back home after a long time and see the mess you find there?

Home is where the heart is. Except one is heartless like the Tin Man from The Wizard Of Oz or a sea sponge but then one has completely different problems. It’s great coming back home after a tour and seeing the mess. A few shambles never hurt nobody - except one steps on Lego bricks accidentally. Mess is chaos and chaos is a proof we’re still in the key position and the robots didn’t take over yet. I mean the bad robots. R2-D2 would be totally fine.

It’s the real what completely resists  the symbolic, Jaques Lacan claims. What do you think about the real? And resistance?

I don’t know Jack but I know that realness is absolutely important. There is a lot of fake stuff in the world which is made just to bring us apart. Breitbart News, UKIP, veggie sausages. Resistance is important, too. Resist the evils, wherever you find them! I could start very small with a racist Tweet, but if you don’t do anything against it, the evil can grow and become bigger and more powerful, like an anchovy pizza. If one still doesn’t fight against that, the whole thing transforms into a tremendous and terrifying absurdity, like a Walmart branch. And then you’re in real trouble.

Russel

Russel Hobbs, did you arrange all the first-class features on the new Gorillaz album? Who did the best job in the studio?

I wasn’t solely responsible for that. I’m from Brooklyn but Humanz grooves to a Roland 909. Chicago, baby! Peven Everett, Jamie Principle - you can slit open that bloke on any arbitrary body part and he’s bleeding Chicago House. I didn’t slit him open actually, just for clarification. I just punched him a little. However, there were so many dope sessions. Popcaan and his crew were killers - all 22 of them. But do you know who blew me away? Mama Mavis: Mavis Staples. The stories she told! How she was on the road in the Southern States, performed with her family, and tried not to be lynched by these jerks. She paved the way for blokes like Pusher T.

What’s the story behind your “Non-Conformist-Oath” on the album?

On one hand it’s about to go and get some fresh air. On this point of the record we find ourselves deep in the inside of this dark and mighty place, a duality of euphoria and fear - so it needed a small intermezzo. The “Non-Conformist-Oath” is a famous Steve Martin gag, if you didn’t know that. That guy is a comedian genius. We’re all fans. But on the other hand, there’s of course a message behind this. Be real! Be who you are! That’s the Gorillaz philosophy.

According to philosopher Nick Bostrom, it’s not possible to determine if we live inside a simulated reality. What do you think?

One must really dig Bostrom’s Simulation hypothesis. The logic is mandatory. Even though it’s not new. The idea that the real world stays concealed from us goes back to Plato in his cave. Is it impossible to recognize the truth? I think, solely the fact we question that means: no. After all we already started to pound against the wall. If there is something on the other side, someone will answer sooner or later. Or break the wall. If that simulated reality thing should be true after all, that would explain a lot of the crazy shit, we have to deal with at the moment. A guy with a two cent wig rules the free world? Such a bullshit can’t be made up. Although maybe someone has done exactly that.

Noodle

Noodle, what was your greatest Rock’n’Roll moment on the new Gorillaz album?

That depends on your definition of Rock’n’Roll. For Murdoc it’s about getting wasted and to bare his genitalia or fighting against a camel. For me it’s about transcendental meditation and seeking the deepest knowledge of the universe. Unfortunately, I only have little time for that – insanity is chasing us like a furious stalker. Like in Detroit, as we had a stopover in a demon possessed spirit house. We came to terms with that experience in the video for “Saturnz Barz” – which certainly looks better than to watch me huddling frightened in a corner. Except you’re into that. I’m sure there’s a web page for stuff like that.

Were you involved in the casting of the feature guests? Did anyone send themselves in an express parcel like you did once, answering to an advertisement from Gorillaz?

Of course, I put a a whole bunch of guests on the list. Mavis Staples, Kelela, Grace Jones. But no, nobody was delivered in a crate. FedEx journeys are purely for emergencies, for instance if one has to flee an army of super slayers or a Yakuza death squad. But could you imagine Grace Jones fleeing anyone? She would kick the guy in the balls and make him clean her shoes. That’s what I call a woman.

Do you and your fellow Japanese citizens in the UK feel any changes after the Brexit vote?

You know that Japan is in Asia, right? Just go from Turkey on eastwards and when somewhere everyone always takes photos of their food and all trains are on time you’re there. No, I didn’t have any problems yet. Except of Murdoc the people in Great Britain are shy, kind and funny – they even say “sorry” more often than the people in Japan. In addition, I don’t perceive myself exclusively Japanese. I see myself as a citizen of planet earth. We’re all part of a big family, connected by nature, the cosmos and our mutual love for adorable cat memes.

In his allegory of the cave Plato writes, the duty of the enlightened is not only to ascend and see the good but also descend back into the cave and help to carry the burden of the captives. Do you ever have the feeling, that’s your duty as well?

No.

[tokyo-joon]

thank you for tagging me @grumpytth​!! this is cute AND i got to know you a bit better! ^^

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 as many people as you like!

THE LAST:

1. drink: a starbucks energy drink help 2. phone call: the american red cross is trying to suck me dry 3. text message: “I just read these all now. That’s terrible!! I hope you’re doing okay now”  4. song you listened to: Wave - Amber & Luna 5. time you cried: last night 6. dated someone twice: nothing that really counted (ie anything in high school or before that) 7. kissed someone and regretted it: god yes 8. been cheated on: i mean kind of but again none of my “relationships” from high school or earlier count. 9. lost someone special: hasn’t everyone?? 10. been depressed: probably since i started college.  11. gotten drunk and thrown up: lol yea and ruined a lot of good alcohols for myself (rip fireball) (and hazelnut)

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

12-14. purple, bright yellow, pastel pink

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. made new friends: i have 💌  16. fallen out of love: it would seem so 17. laughed until you cried: so many times skf;jakls 18. found out someone was talking about you: oh yeah. people are never not talking at work. 19. met someone who changed you: maybe 20. found out who your friends are: naah that was the year before 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: yess

GENERAL:

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them lol well, not that i talk to all of them anymore. 23. do you have any pets: not anymoree 24. do you want to change your name: nahhh i never meet another Ginny so it’s nice having an uncommon name (read: old lady name) 25. what did you do for your last birthday: probably went out for dinner with my parents! 26. what time did you wake up: 6:30, before my alarm, thx for that >:( 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: dozing to avoid some things 28. name something you can’t wait for: idk hoseok’s mixtape? a solo hoseok vlive?? the meaning of life to dawn upon me??? 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: yesterday morning they left for vacation without me today :’((( 30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: currently the amount of unfolded laundry on my bed. i guess an overarching goal would be my perpetual student status. 31. what are you listening to right now: I Feel It Coming - The Weeknd 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: my general manager unfortunately. 33. something that is getting on your nerves: my skin not cooperating with me >:( 34. most visited website: is it tumblr dot com? 35-37. lost questions?? 38. hair colour: brown hairrr with some grey in there too thanks dad 39. long or short hair: i haven’t had short hair since 6th grade. it wasn’t a good look for me. i don’t want to say never again because sometimes i think about cutting it short again but for now i’m pretty sure i’d regret it 40. do you have a crush on someone: i mean.... nobody i know personally..... 41. what do you like about yourself: my sense of humor (i’m probably actually just loud nd annoying but here i am thinking i’m funny) 42. piercings: two on each ear and a nose ring 43. blood type: i have no idea....... 44. nickname: Ginger, Gin, Gin Gin, nothing too creative. An old friend used to call me Weasley 45. relationship status: in the most boring & pathetic relationship you could possibly imagine. 46. zodiac: aquarius 47. pronouns: she/her 48. favourite tv show: i didnt watch the last two seasons but it’s probably still teen wolf. or avatar. OROROR brooklyn 99 IDKKKK 49. tattoos: just one behind my ear 50. right or left handed: right 51. surgery: twice, once to get my wisdom teeth out, and before that i got a hymenectomy and that’s probably more than you want to know about me dont google that i mean it im not responsible 52. piercing: again?? 53. sport: i was forced to play lacrosse for awhile. and i also did tae kwon do when i was a kid until i got my black belt then i was like CYA 55. vacation: i’ll always love disney world. but i’m not gonna be happy until i go back to spain and have paella again 56. pair of trainers: i have black pumas and pink adidas and they’re my pride and joy

MORE GENERAL

57. eating: i pretty much only want to eat noodles or pasta for every meal. if i can’t have that i might just skip it klsfa;jdlkfa;js 58. drinking: coffee until noon and then a steady stream of green tea for the rest of the day. 59. i’m about to: shower, face mask, and drama :)) 61. waiting for: the 1000 legger i lost track of in my room before to kill me in my sleep 62. want: to stop spending so much money. 63. get married: if there’s someone that i want to spend my life with 64. career: lol 65. hugs or kisses: kisses 66. lips or eyes: i guess it depends on which is more noticeable on the person? but usually eyes 67. shorter or taller: taller~ 5′9-5′11 is a good height for me 68. older or younger: it doesn’t matter much but i guess they’d have to at least be 21 (if we’re talking about dating...) 70. nice arms or nice stomach: i guess stomach i don’t really look at arms much 😅 71. sensitive or loud: these don’t seem to relate to each other but i guess sensitive 72. hook up or relationship: right nowwwwww hook up 73. troublemaker or hesitant: jgkjkfdjhskldgadfkd bit of both?

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. kissed a stranger: i guess kind of 75. drank hard liquor: not like... A LOT but... 76. lost glasses/contact lenses: i only have reading glasses that i rarely use. i’m sure they’re around here somewhere... 77. turned someone down: yes. after saying yes because i felt like i had to 78. sex on the first date: that’s nottttt gonna happen 79. broken someone’s heart: i doubt it 80. had your heart broken: yes 81. been arrested: noo 82. cried when someone died: yess 83. fallen for a friend: yes. i dont recommend it.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. yourself: rarely 85. miracles: probably not 86. love at first sight: it’s a cute thought but, not reallyyyy 87. santa claus: i mean if i have to believe in something 88. kiss on the first date: sure why not 89. angels: no. but another nice thought!

OTHER:

90. current best friend’s name: i don’t have one best friends just a few really close friends. but could never choose one of them over the others ya know? 91. eye colour: mine...? hazel 92. favourite movie: i have no idea omg ummmm i’m still obsessed with mad max lol

okokok i’m gonna tag

@literally-just-yoongi-trash @agust-kook @yoongisnugget @ttaegiis and anyone else who thinks this looks fun!!

[grantairelibere]

Tagged by @brohorel​ THANK YOU AH

Rules: Complete the survey and say who tagged you in the beginning. When you are finished tag 5 people to do this survey. Have fun and enjoy!!!

1. Are you named after someone?  #justtransthings I named myself? Or I’m going to name myself. Sometime in the indefinite future when I do all the official documentation stuff. Anyway I chose Percival based on a) its resemblance to my birth name and b) I’m really into Arthurian legend and c) because Percy has been one of my nicknames forever 

2: When is the last time you cried? FUCK LOL 5 am this morning when I was listening to “It’s Quiet Uptown” 

3: Do you like your handwriting? Yeah I do but I hate my cursive lmao I wish I was better at it

4: What is your favorite lunch meat? Prosciutto but like does smoked salmon count? Because smoked salmon.

5: Do you have kids? I mean I have a lot of stuffed animals 

6: If you were another person, would you be friends with you? I hope so. I’d have someone to drag to theatre shows all the time.

7: Do you use sarcasm? No, of course not. I’m 100% serious all the time obviously

8: Do you still have your tonsils? I...yes?? I think? Tbh I don’t exactly know where they are so I’m sure I have them

9: Would you bungee jump? Hell fucken yes

10: What is your favorite kind of cereal? LUCKY CHARMS

11: Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Fuck lol no who has time for that

12: Do you think you’re a strong person? Not really but I’m pretty good at just getting through stuff. Physically no I’m a noodle

13: What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Maple walnut holy fuck

14: What is the first thing you notice about people? What kind of mood they look like they’re in

15: Red or pink? I love both tbh but more so red. It looks good on me and also it’s a really symbolic colour for all three of my nationalities (Portuguese, Chinese, Canadian)

16: What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself? #justtransthings makes a return--my height and my waist. I naturally have pretty masculine features and in that I’m extremely lucky but often my shortness and the way I don’t fill out even a small t-shirt past the shoulders make it harder to pass (rip)

17: What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now? No shoes and red pants

18: What was the last thing you ate? Some coconut and sunflower seed trail mix thing idk it was good

19: What are you listening to right now? The wind whistling ominously outside my window

20: If you were a crayon, what color would you be? That mustardy shade of yellow probably

21: Favorite smell? A strawberry field in the middle of summer. Tea in the morning. Horseradish. That really specific scent in the air after it rains rather than snows for the first time after winter ends. Bonfire smell. Pies in the oven. The back rooms of tailor shops or theatre companies where they keep all the clothes on hangers. Hot glue. The ocean. I love a lot of smells okay

22: Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? My girlfriend

23: Favorite sport to watch? Speed skating and ski events omg

24: Hair color? Dark brown

25: Eye color? Also dark brown

26: Do you wear contacts? Yeah but like only for cosplay so not really

27: Favorite food to eat? Don’t ask me this oh my god. I love sushi. I love cakes and cookies. I ADORE meringue in any form. Corn, ruler of all vegetables. Fish. Ginger on/in everything. RICE. My grandma’s strawberry pie. Cheung fun and every other dim sum food out there

28: Scary movies or comedy? Comedy for sure. I’m lowkey obsessed with the monty python movies

29: Last movie you watched? (Baz Luhrmann’s) Strictly Ballroom, for a uni class 

30: What color of shirt are you wearing? THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN

31: Summer or winter? Summer holy shit why do I live in this snowy country

32: Hugs or kisses? Big fan of both but probably hugs because more of my friends are open to it and I’m big on the whole physical affection thing

33: What book are you currently reading? The Iliad! Though, it’s on hold a bit because of school (rip)

34: Who do you miss right now? My girlfriend (who’s currently at our apartment while I’m at home) and my friends back in England who I can’t wait to see again this summer London won’t be able to contain me

35: What is on your mouse pad? I don’t use one lmfao but the gf has one of those anime-butt mousepads for her fave characer

36: What is the last TV program you watched? The Office lol 

37: What is the best sound? ASMR haircut videos. The sound your shoes make when you hike over rough terrain. VIOLINS TUNING, OH MY GOD. The middle section of Holst’s Jupiter (from The Planets).

38: Rolling Stones or The Beatles? The Beatles I’ve loved their music for 1000 years and they were a big part of my formation as a person

39: What is the furthest you have ever traveled? Paris :’)

40: Do you have a special talent? I’ve been told by Russian friends I do a really good Russian accent. Where in Russia? No idea tbh it’s probably just a bastardization of all the accents from that region of the world

41: Where were you born? Toronto B)

Open tagging again bc fuck you know the drill tag me and say I tagged you I want to know you all better

[thatfangirlingdepressedkid]

1-150

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

my boyfriend

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

im outgoing if you dont know me, shy if you have actually taken the time to get to know me

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

prince harry. dont ask questions.

4. Are you easy to get along with?

depends who you are

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

i hope so

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

green haired gays

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

“platonic? hell not platonic.” so like lets keep it that way? but tbh idk

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

hm. im non binary. oops? but like the only person on my mind rn is my boyfriend so like that counts right?

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha no.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

my boyfriend

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“right i forgot” typical me

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

“this is gospel” by P!ATD, “bullet” by hollywood undead, “pierre” by ryn weaver, “nicotine” P!ATD, “girls/girls/boys” by P!ATD

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

YES YES YES YES YES YES.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

*shrugs* why wouldn’t I?

15. What good thing happened this summer?

i met a guy who walked in on me changing. we are now dating.

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

yep

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

would be pretty cool if there were so yeah sure why not

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

actually i just came out to him as gay. 99.999999% sure that it was just a crush to make my parents believe i was straight. 

19. Do you like bubble baths?

not really

20. Do you like your neighbors?

i dont have neighbours. like all the houses next to me are just sold and/or being torn down

21. What are you bad habits?

biting my nails. for sure. jesus christ im terrible i legit have the shortest nails

22. Where would you like to travel?

literally absolutely everywhere

23. Do you have trust issues?

of course

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

getting on tumblr

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

HAIR. MY FUCKING HAIR. and my chest. BUT LIKE MY HAIR GOD DAMN

26. What do you do when you wake up?

what is this “sleep” you speak of

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

darker. jesus christ i am fucking bleached

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

my boyfriend

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

heh heh heh heh ex’s? what are those?

30. Do you ever want to get married?

yeah

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. yes. unfortunately, it is.

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

brendon urie, katherine langford

33. Spell your name with your chin.

ummmmmmmmmm come again?

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

dance. dance. dance. dance. and more dance.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

without TV for sure

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

ahahahahahahahahaha of fucking course like who hasnt

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

this is usually what goes down:

heh heh heh *pulls out phone* *pulls at ponytail*

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

my boyfriend. hands down.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

if i started typing now, i would be here until i died

40. What do you want to do after high school?

take a gap year. after that, i have no fucking idea

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

depends on what they did

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

all the emotions are just too much

or

im in love with you

or

friend crush much?

or

EMOTIONS

43. Do you smile at strangers?

ahahahahahahaha what is this “smiling” you speak of?

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

space cause space is cool and actually currently possible to get to

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

boyfriend. feflix. thea. OH AND GETTING AWAY FROM MY FAMILY. but mostly my boyfriend.

46. What are you paranoid about?

the real question is, what am i not paranoid about?

47. Have you ever been high?

*silence*

48. Have you ever been drunk?

heh heh heh heh moving on

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

yup

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

red

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

all the time

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

HAIR. MY FUCKING HAIR. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT.

53. Favourite makeup brand?

elf cause im slightly broke, but tarte tho wait but like nyx ungh everything at sephora

54. Favourite store?

sephora

55. Favourite blog?

yes.

56. Favourite colour?

i have this thing where im afraid that if i choose a favourite colour i’ll hurt all the other colours feelings.

57. Favourite food?

ANOREXIA.

58. Last thing you ate?

ANOREXIA.

59. First thing you ate this morning?

ANOREXIA.

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

dance dance dance dance dance more dance

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

nope

62. Been arrested? For what?

nah

63. Ever been in love?

yes

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

we were walking to his house and he had been telling me that he had the urge to kiss me for like a couple days at that point and i told him that if he finished the rice krispie square that he could kiss me. then he did. 3 days later we were in a relationship.

65. Are you hungry right now?

ANOREXIA.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

whats the difference?

67. Facebook or Twitter?

tumblr.

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

tumblr.

69. Are you watching tv right now?

does netflix count? im always watching netflix.

70. Names of your bestfriends?

feflix and thea

71. Craving something? What?

chocolate. being a fucking female tho jesus christ kill me please

72. What colour are your towels?

i have a lot of fucking towels like beyond belief. mostly white.

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

like 12

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…maybe

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

i cant count that high

75. Favourite animal?

*shrugs* never really thought about it…wait jokes unicorns. cause gay.

76. What colour is your underwear?

rn? white

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

um female so chocolate rn

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

chocolate. im basic ik

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

black

80. What colour pants?

black

81. Favourite tv show?

greys anatomy or the fosters

82. Favourite movie?

pride, tomboy, or the imitation game

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

mean girls

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

mean girls

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

he cannot be named. he’s just too gay to function.

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

dory

87. First person you talked to today?

feflix

88. Last person you talked to today?

my mom

89. Name a person you hate?

JAYDEN, NEVE, NOA, ANTONIA, LITERALLY EVERYONE BUT MY BEST FRIENDS AND MY BOYFRIEND IM JUST A PERSON FULL OF HATE IM SORRY

90. Name a person you love?

my sister

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

*sighs* you’re making me pick just one?

92. In a fight with someone?

define “fight”

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

dance = literally only owning leggings and sweats

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

too many

95. Last movie you watched?

tfios

96. Favourite actress?

ellen page

97. Favourite actor?

benedict cumberbatch

98. Do you tan a lot?

yeah

99. Have any pets?

nope

100. How are you feeling?

terrible

101. Do you type fast?

yep

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

so much

103. Can you spell well?

ive been told that i can spell well. but its weird cause i cant read out loud well. which usually means that you cant spell well. dyslexia yay

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

beyond belief

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

yes

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

not that i can recall?

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

yes and i was fucking terrified

108. What should you be doing?

math hw

109. Is something irritating you right now?

yes.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

*glances back at my boyfriend* yep

111. Do you have trust issues?

I ALREADY SAID YES WHAT IS THIS MADNESS

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

does like almost weeping count? cause if so like my boyfriend a couple months back. i cry alone. always.

113. What was your childhood nickname?

d…feflix is going to read this. nvm.

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

all the time

115. Do you play the Wii?

used to

116. Are you listening to music right now?

when am i not?

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

yeah

118. Do you like Chinese food?

yeah

119. Favourite book?

currently? binge by tyler oakley

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

yes

121. Are you mean?

depends who you are

122. Is cheating ever okay?

NEVER. EVER.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

if i try hard enough

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

1000%

125. Do you believe in true love?

1000%

126. Are you currently bored?

tumblr.

127. What makes you happy?

my boyfriend

128. Would you change your name?

probably not? its just become a part of me

129. What your zodiac sign?

pieces

130. Do you like subway?

yeah

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

“im like really fucking gay but like okay cool you do you” *continues trying to steal your phone*

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

my boyfriend

im pretty sure i answered this

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

“drank with the devil and forgot my name”

134. Can you count to one million?

ungh i could if i tried hard enough but like ungh effort

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

“trust me. im a straight girl”

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed

137. How tall are you?

5′0″ tiny and adorable.

138. Curly or Straight hair?

straight.

139. Brunette or Blonde?

green

140. Summer or Winter?

summer

141. Night or Day?

night

142. Favourite month?

february

143. Are you a vegetarian?

nope

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk

145. Tea or Coffee?

coffee

146. Was today a good day?

not really…scratch that…nope!

147. Mars or Snickers?

mars

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“okay? okay.”

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

yep

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“I often hated myself and tried to talk myself back into starving, but those days because fewer and father between, the longer i worked toward recovery.”

[nothinggoddess-blog1]

The Fucking Worst

Oh my god, I got nothing done.  I ate literally whatever, but I did have a good reason.  I mean, I got the worst cough/ flu/ something I’ve had in ages.  I hate living with someone old, they basically just become patient fucking zero for every disease, and infect the whole household.  Swear to god, I’m probably going to eat poison or a bullet at 70, unless I’m in surprisingly good health, or am contributing something amazing to the world... like if my artwork has millions of fans or something.  I don’t understand how people can just go on and on, being nothing but a useless sack of meat.  When I’m all out of any desire to do anything creative or constructive, nothing on me works, and nobody likes me anymore, I’m just going to check the fuck out.  Life done, mission accomplished, now it’s the time for others.  Fuck spending 10 to 30 years being a sick, sad burden.  I mean, I’m not saying other people should do that or have to do that, I just don’t comprehend how someone can live like that.  I have problems convincing myself to live NOW, sometimes.  I can guarantee that if all my loved ones had died, all my organs were throwing in the towel, and I got sick every time I went in public, and constantly made OTHERS sick, and was doing nothing with my life, I’d be OUT.  Out, out, out.  1000% done with this life shit.

Anyway, I could not deal with that misery AND one meal a day.  And then to make matters worse, as soon as I begin feeling better, I had eaten some soy chorizo that absolutely MURDERED my stomach.  I mean we’re talking intestinal rape here, so much fucking pain.  That was pretty much yesterday morning, and today I’m still suffering a little.  I threw the chorizo, the sauce I used on it, etc, all in the trash.  NOTHING tastes good enough to go through that again, so while I’m 99% sure it was the chorizo, I’m not taking any chances.  If there’s even a 1% chance it was the rice and peas that I had put the chorizo into, it’s gone.  All gone.  Goooooodbye forever.

So I’ve amended my fast to be more of a mono fast.  Fasting has many meanings, and I’m deeply concerned about the issues that become a problem for many girls who fast regularly.  (IE; can’t poop, and all the discomfort that comes with that.)  I wasn’t really thinking about it, but then I visited a forum I’m on for people with ED’s and just... there were so many posts about not pooping, it seemed like a little more than a coincidence.  I believe in signs, and that happens THE SECOND I want to start a long fast?  Yeah.  I decided what I will do is I’m going to eat shiritaki noodles and a couple cups of mixed veggies once per day.  So a big low cal meal, plus intermittent fasting, essentially.  Mixing up the veggies and sauces will give me some variety.  Probably with some kind of Walden farms dressing, vegetable broth, tomato sauce, or similarly low calorie sauces.  I should probably also add in some fermented veggies.  It’ll come up to a few hundred calories at best... and I’ll get to keep my digestive tract working.  I have a LOT of weight to lose, so it’s probably a better idea.  At the weight I am now, I can exercise for an hour and make ANY singular bowl of veggies/ shiritaki/ sauce into an effective zero net calories.  At the weight I am, an hour of cardio is going to burn off a good 400-600 cals. depending on intensity.  And even if I get zero exercise, I’ll still have about 3 lbs anticipated weight loss per week.  12 weeks from now I could easily weigh less than I’ve weighed in my whole adult life.  I would fucking love that.

[willidleaway]

Actually, thanks to the Japan Anniversary Association and the easy-to-use search tool on their website, I believe I’ve come up with some suitable alternate celebration programming for the really, really die-hard Japanophiles.

For example, 14 Feb is Car Insurance Day. Loose partial translation:

Established by the Tokio Marine Nichidou Fire Insurance Corporation. On 14 Feb 1914 (Taishou 3), the company, then the Tokio Marine Insurance Corporation, received the first sales authorisation for car insurance in Japan, with the idea that ‘every day with humans and cars should feel safe’.

Fun titbit: The same company recently became the first Japanese vehicle insurer to cover accidents involving self-driving cars.

More alternate observances after the break.

14 Mar: Aside from March being Life Insurance Review Month, 14 Mar specifically happens to be ... Seppuku Monaka Day.

It’s not actually as horrifying as it sounds. Mostly.

To pass down numerous things about the Chuushingura to many people, the Japanese sweets shop Shinshoudou (新正堂) opens in Shimbashi, Tokyo, which has the Seppuku Monaka amongst its goods.

It’s also Home Inspection Day, but honestly I think I’ve done enough talking about safety for now.

1 Apr: This is important, folks. Mark your calendars. Forget April Fools’. Forget Training Day (the Japanese anniversary, not the film). Forget Online Trade Day. Definitely forget Mobile Phone Strap Day. I hear you ask (because I’m delusional and am hearing voices in my head and also I’m almost entirely confident that I’ve made this joke before): what, then, could it be? Real Estate Appraisal Day? ＷＨＯＰＰＥＲ® Day? Day of Steel? No. All of those pale in importance compared to the major milestone in Japanese society—nay, in human history—that I’m about to reveal to you.

The first of April is the anniversary of the founding of the Japan Anniversary Association, in 1991.

I know, I too thought that it had been with us since the dawn of time. Or at least the dawn of Japan. One of those.

1 May: Coin Day. Get it? Because quasi-homophones!

Said to be one of the most important inventions of humanity, money has a history of nearly three thousand years.

Great! When’s Wheel Day? (Editor’s note—no such thing exists, but there is a Tyre Day on 8 Apr and an Okonomiyaki Day on 10 Oct. Since the tyre is vital to many modern wheels, and the okonomiyaki is also one of the most important inventions of humanity, I find both of these to be adequate substitutes.)

25 May: Well, you could celebrate Terminator Day, marking the day that the first movie premiered in Japanese cinemas. But frankly, doesn’t Bessho Line Day sound far more interesting to you? The Bessho Line is a small rail line connecting downtown Ueda to a hot springs area, and the date is actually taken from the Type 5250 trains (image via here) that used to operate on that line. Look at those tiny round windows!

4 Jul: Nanashii Day! Again: homophones!

What, you don’t know what Nanashii is? Well, that’s fine! It’s perfectly fine with the Toyomaru Industry Corporation of Nagoya, because—well, you see, the day is meant to promote the company’s Nanashii series of pachinko machines.

Yes, pachinko. The Japan Anniversary Association is perfectly fine assigning a day for pachinko PR.

Erm, look, I don’t actually know what kind of pachinko this is, but ... just give me a mulligan on that one, okay?

4 Jul, again: Repair Your PC Day!

Established by Shouin Corporation, based in Ichikawa, Chiba Prefecture, dealing in used PC sales and PC repair. The purpose is to disseminate the ideas of not throwing away and repairing broken objects. Notebook computer repair classes offered for all ages.

Well, until all OEMs follow Apple, who are obviously leading the way to just offering a block of circuitry coated in impenetrable solder. (Editor’s note—you can’t actually coat everything indiscriminately in solder and expect it to work properly. The figurative image stands.) Still, good work in the meantime.

7 Jul: Are you tired of people celebrating Tanabata on the wrong calendar? (I mean, some Tanabata festivals in Japan actually take place on the Gregorian 7/7 date rather than near the lunar 7/7 date, but what do they know about their own customs?) Well, you’re not short on alternatives, which include:

Calpis Day, in celebration of the Japanese soft drink first marketed on this day in 1919.

Moony’s Birthday, basically the fictional birthday of a fictional baby and therefore the doubly fictional birthday of a triply fictional ... teddy bear diaper mascot? Or nappy mascot. Whichever is less confusing to you. Seriously, though, look at that mascot’s profile—name, height, birth date and place, talents ... all that’s missing is blood type. But it does get more and more weirdly adorable as you look at it.

Bamboo Leaf Fish Cake Day, or, if you’re feeling less rote-translation-minded, Sasa-kamaboko Day. It’s grilled fish cake in the shape of bamboo leaves. Kind of cheating listing this separate from Tanabata, because the only reason this day is even on this date is because Tanabata and bamboo are heavily connected. In fact, you might say that a lot about Tanabata hangs on bamboo. Get it? Get ... I’ll get me coat.

Mary’s Summer Valentine Day. Erm. What? Eek, another holiday riding on the tailcoats of Tanabata. And this time, even more explicitly marketing-driven! Move along.

Two other marketing holidays tied to the romantic aspects of Tanabata—one that I literally cannot translate in any other way than Love Day or Day of Love, and, erm ... Love Soumen Day? Yes, there’s a love-themed brand of Japanese noodles. It looks disgusting. Probably actually decent noodles, though.

Ponytail Day, for which the Japan Anniversary Association isn’t even responsible. The Japan Ponytail Association (yes, that apparently existed) went rogue on them and just declared it all by themselves! Those maniacs! They blew it up! Even the twin-tail enthusiasts went through the JAA! This is most unorthodox!

oh god another pachinko-related day just skip it

And finally—Ultimate Day. Yes. You know what that means. ... no, not the End of Time Itself, actually—it means ultimate, the flying disc sport. You know, what some of you call ultimate frisbee. Most of you, probably. Kind of disappointing, really. Could really use an apocalypse this year.

31 Oct: well, Vegetable Day falls on the 31st of every month, but it’s obviously best when it’s facing off against Hallowe’en.

Established by the 5 A Day Association, which engages in food education activities and recommends that you eat five servings (350 g) of vegetables and 200 g of fruits each day.

No, vegetable-shaped sweets don’t count. Eat your greens.

Okay, but listing a monthly event is kind of cheating. Let’s try this again.

31 Oct, specifically: Tohsai Day. It’s literally just got a ceramics company’s name on it. Also, I can’t figure out how 陶彩 is supposed to be kind of sort of read as ten thirty-one.

Oh god, it’s supposed to be kind of sort of read as three-one. Oh and I can’t believe there is an alternate reading of 十 that sounds vaguely like 陶.

I can’t stand this. Go to a different one without homophone-play.

31 Oct, again: Izumo-zenzai Day. It’s red bean soup with mochi. It sounds delicious. It is delicious. I want a bowl now.

Oh, wait. Zen-za-i ... 1000 ... 3-1 ... oh god. I can’t avoid it. I just can’t.

Note to Japan: stop. You’re worse than the Anglosphere’s punniest.

5 Nov: Well, it’s apparently also Life Insurance Review Month in November. For the fifth of November specifically, we have Delicious Conger Eel Day.

Established by Matsuiizumi, a shop in Sakai, Osaka Prefecture, specialising in conger eels.

Remember, buy conger / This fifth of November / Gunpowder, treason and fish / I know of no reason / Why in any good season / You'd ditch such a yummy dish!

25 Dec: Pudding Day!

Established by Ohayou Dairy Corporation, based in Okayama, Okayama Prefecture, maker of milk, processed milk, milk beverages, yoghurt, and other dairy products. Designated because of its many popular pudding products.

Actually, as with Vegetable Day, it falls on the 25th of every month (yet again due to a convoluted pun that doesn’t remotely translate into English)—so no, nobody intentionally went up against Christmas here.

It’s actually the same story with Boxing Day, where Sunsweet of Japan established a Prune Day for the 26th of every month. Nobody designated anything specifically for the 25th or 26th of December. Kind of surprised, really, considering all the crowding around Gregorian Tanabata.

In conclusion: does anyone know of any other examples of these anniversary associations? I desperately want to search through to find out who’s paying these kinds of people all that money to get something on some calendar, somewhere, possibly, but in countries that are not Japan.

[psychotherapyconsultants]

Pickles, Mustard & Diet Coke: Self-Talk in Eating Disorder Recovery

Oh…and shirataki noodles. Anyway…

I am a recovering anorexic. Well… most of the time. Sometimes I’m just “anorexic.” (Relapse is part of recovery, right??)

Regardless of how “evolved” I may be now, nearly every comment made about my physical appearance, or my intake, or my weight… cuts through me like a knife. People think that they are being kind, but they don’t hear their words through the same ED filter that I do. 

He says: “But you look so much HEALTHIER now,” I hear: “You’ve put on weight. You’re fat.”

She says: “It’s different this time, because you don’t LOOK like you’ve been restricting,” I hear: “Well you certainly don’t need eating-disorder-specific treatment, because you’re not even skinny.”

I’m 32-years-old, and I’ve dealt with eating disorders for twenty years(?!). In that time, I’ve come to learn some valuable truths. Many have become internal scripts for me to keep me on the right, “healing” path. For example, I tell myself: 

“Food is nutrients for your body. You haven’t had (whatever) in a long time. You are giving your body a gift by allowing this to enter.” (Yes… I legitimately say this to myself about ice cream, hamburgers, and Pop Tarts.) 

“You didn’t lose weight by skipping one meal; you’re not going to gain it all back (or more!) by *eating* one reasonably-sized meal.” 

“You’re meal-planning? Again?? What would be a more productive and service-oriented use of your time right now? You like seeing things lined up just so… maybe you could organize a closet… or do some dishes or laundry?”

“I understand that you’re obsessed with meal-planning by the numbers. How about planning based on *cost* instead of calories? What about planning ahead to use up leftovers?”

“And for the love of everything… Stay off of the websites that encourage you to perseverate and obsess over restricting and weight loss.”

I saw a nutritionist in the early days of my recovery and found that I just *could not* follow her instructions. We just weren’t speaking the same language. She kept talking to me about nutrients, and the ONLY thing I cared about was calories. The dysfunctional dialogue didn’t change until one day, in desperation, she said to me “FINE. Can you just make a commitment to eat at least 1000 calories each day?” I stared at her. “Yes.” I had been eating 400-and-change for months. I didn’t think in terms of food groups or vitamins or minerals or proteins or healthy fats… the ONLY thing I cared about was the number. This moment was my turning point in connection with her.

Now that I have crossed that bridge, and proceeded further into my recovery, there is a new magical phrase/question that I have been able to add: “Is this a normal thing that a normal person would eat?” This consideration allows me to eat at fast food chains. I find myself staring in awe at the calorie counts for even the lowest-calorie-value meal, and this question allows me to measure by a different stick. Wipe away the number. Would a normal person have a burger and fries and a Coke? Then that is exactly what I will do. But I would rather get a kid’s meal, and then eat only half of it. “But, Liz, that is not a normal thing that a normal person would do.” Okie dokie… burger and fries and a Coke it is. Well — maybe fish sandwich and fries and a Coke. Or a Diet Coke. Chicken nuggets so that I can surreptitiously throw away half. “Okay stop, Sweetie. Breathe. Burger and fries and a Coke. You can do this. Slow, deep breaths. You are a normal person who eats normal things. You can do this. I know your brain is broken. I love you, and I am proud of you. We will get through this together.”

Oh — and you out there? You reading these words and marveling at the idea of a burger and fries and a Coke? Without purging afterwards? You can do this. I know your brain is broken. I love you, and I am proud of you. We will get through this together.

from World of Psychology http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2017/01/12/pickles-mustard-diet-coke-self-talk-in-eating-disorder-recovery/