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andrewmoocow · 6 years

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Gravity Soul chapter 9: To McGucket Mansion We Go, Drawing the Line in the Sand? (originally posted on August 8, 2018)

AN: And so ends the Quest for the Northwest arc! From here on out, things get pretty dark and angsty as our heroes' lives are put at risk, their sanity about to teeter off the edge and relationships put into jeopardy. Also, just wanna say I'd really like some of my works get their own pages on TV Tropes someday so if anyone can make that possible, I'd be honored. Now then, on with the chapter! 23-8-5-14 1-12-12 9-19 12-15-19-20 1-14-4 25-15-21'22-5 16-1-9-4 20-8-5 16-9-16-5-18 20-8-5 13-15-19-20 8-1-21-14-20-9-14-7 15-6 1-12-12 9-19 23-8-1-20 3-15-13-5-19 1-6-20-5-18 9 15-14-12-25 8-1-22-5 15-14-5 17-21-5-19-20-9-15-14 20-15 1-19-11, 25-15-21 19-5-5 4-9-4 25-15-21 1-12-12 18-5-1-12-12-25 13-9-19-19 13-5?

When we had last left the Mystery Meisters, they had set off on their night-long mission to save Pacifica Northwest from the alliance between Asura and Bill Cipher. They have already battled Medusa Gorgon and made peace with her former minions but now they had a new opponent to face, the Bloodsucker Mosquito and his partner Giriko. "So you wield Excalibur now brat?" Giriko wondered clashing the sawblade on his glove with Dipper's weapon. "Yeah, but are you working with Kishin Cipher too?!" Dipper shouted slashing at the Demon Saw. "Of course we are, we signed a deal with him to bring back our master Arachne!" "Who's Arachne?" Mabel called riding on Free's shoulders as the two dodged a squadron of his golems. "Medusa's sister, their old master that got killed by Asura!" Maka answered fighting Mosquito, who has now bulked up his upper body considerably. "And it seems they've gotten stronger as well since we last saw them!" "Speaking of which, group up with me everyone!" Ford commanded to his teammates and they all gathered around him. "I have a plan guys. Me, Stan, Spirit, Stein, Kid and Free go after Mosquito while everybody else is against Giriko. What do you think of that?" he explained. "Question! Doesn't that seem a bit unfair for both of us?" Patty wondered. "I don't care, we don't have enough time left before Cipher pulls off whatever they've got planned!" "If you say so Mr. Pines." Soos obliged as he and the others charged toward Giriko's golems leaving the Stan twins, Spirit, Stein, Kid and Free with Mosquito. "So it's just all of you now, huh? Well, guess I should finally whip out a form that I sadly didn't get a chance to try out." the Bloodsucker stated before he swapped out his more top-heavy form for something more insect-like, befitting his name. Mosquito's legs started to become more animalistic, his toes touching the ground and his nose significantly longer. "Behold, my form from 200 years ago!" he declared. "Wow, that's one giant bug." Stan quipped with a smirk. "We're gonna need a bigger flyswatter."

"Police Stinger!" Mosquito cried out before his body began rotating incredibly fast except for his head and his schnoz grew longer. "I'll have you know this form is both my fastest and features the most finest nose!" he explained zooming towards his opponents, but they were quick to narrowly dodge him. "He wasn't kidding when he said he was fast!" Ford exclaimed. "How do you think we should beat him?" "I got a plan! Free, you can do all those ice things right?" Stan asked the wolfman. "Of course I can old man. Why?" Free wondered. "Think you could use them to help us out here?" "Of course I can! Just get him distracted first while I work my magic." The elderly brothers and son of Death complied with a nod and charged at Mosquito with their weapons. "Take some of this!" Stan shouted socking the Bloodsucker in the eye while Kid fired at him with his guns. "And a little bit of that!" "Ingrate!" Mosquito growled in a deeper voice grabbing Stan and tossing him into a nearby tree. "Stanley!" Ford cried out for his brother before turning to Free. "Any minute now Free!" Amusingly enough, the werewolf was too busy cracking his knuckles to get ready to pay attention. "Free!" "Oh, sorry Mr. Pines." Free readily apologized before preparing one of his spells. "Wolf, wolves! Wolf, wolves!" he chanted waving his arms around again. "Ice Pillars!" Just then, a series of frozen columns began rising from the ground to surround Mosquito. "Now!" "You got it! Ice Bind!" the Man with the Demon Eye called further restraining Mosquito long enough for Kid to knock him down a peg and completely disable him. "He's finally down, now's our chance!" Ford declared aiming his magnet gun. "Anything you got Kid?" "Yes, yes I do." the Immature Death God replied. "Are you ready girls?" he asked his pistols. "Yes Kid!" the Thompsons cried before they declared in unison, "Let's go Soul Resonance!" Just then, a large round blue aura bearing the stripes in Kid's hair surrounded him, no doubt that this was his soul. The twin pistols then converted into a pair of metallic arm cannons forming over Kid's arms before he took aim. "Prodigious, I suppose this must be the Soul Resonance that Maka & Soul attempted. I have to conduct further research." Ford muttered to himself before he noticed Free changing into a more wolf-like form and an eye appeared in front of him. "And this must be one of Free's special abilities as well!" "DEMON EYE CANNON!" Free shouted before the eye unleashed a laser beam towards Mosquito simualtaneously with Kid's Death Cannon and Ford's magnet gun, seemingly disintegrating the Bloodsucker once and for all. "Well that was easier than expected." "I was awoken by the sound of lasers, what'd I miss?" Stan wondered now unexpectedly unharmed after getting tossed away. "Did you guys just blast that bug to bits and not invite me to watch?! What kind of people are you?!" he jokingly chastised his brother. "Thank goodness you're alive Stan. Now let's go help out the others against Giriko." Ford became relieved knowing his brother was okay when suddenly they heard a faint rumbling. "You know in any other circumstance, that might've killed me." Mosquito commented rising out of the ground now looking more like a normal handsome man. "But that wasn't even my final form. Cause I have more where that came from!" he declared charging at the team. "What even is that?! He never displayed this form when we first fought him!" Stein gaped before they attempted to dodge. "That doesn't matter now, he's headed for the kids!" Ford cried and they ran after him, hoping the others are doing alright against Giriko.

"Dipper, are you all right?!" Mabel cried to her brother who was busy running from one of the Golems carrying Giriko's chainsaw form. "Does it look like I'm alright?!" he replied screaming before Crona came to his rescue with a mighty slash of Ragnarok. "Thanks Crona." "You're welcome Dipper." Crona replied before stabbing another. "Dammit you're resilient kids." Giriko snarled getting up and wiping some blood from his mouth. "But you'll never compare to our master Kishin Cipher! With the combined powers of a dream demon and a Kishin, he is unstoppable!" "Not if we have anything to say about it, we'll save Pacifica and stop you guys!" Eruka cried before sicking a small tadpole-like creature on him. "Get him Tadpole Jackson!" she commanded and the creature readily obeyed and pounced Giriko, trapping his head within its jaws. "What the hell is this thing doing with my head?!" the former minion of Arachne cried struggling before he felt something round in his hand. "Wait, what am I holding?" The orb exploded in his hand, blasting Giriko back and sending Tadpole Jackson flying off his head into Eruka's arms. "You did good little guy." she gently cooed to him before Mabel gasped at the two. "You have an animal sidekick too?! Waddles would totally want to be friends with your tadpole thing!" "Thank you Mabel." Eruka smiled before the two of them spotted the Stan twins & their group rushing toward them. "Guys, Mosquito's comin' for you all and we gotta go, fast!" Stan cried as the Bloodsucker got closer to them. "Get ready you guys!" "I see the children are here as well! Allow me to purge them for you!" Mosquito exclaimed going faster before he dug his hand into Soul's chest like claws, scarring him. "Soul!" Maka, Crona, Dipper, Mabel and Black Star all cried out for their friend rushing to his side. "Are you alright Soul, please wake up!" Soul's meister cried as he clutched his wound. "I'm fine Maka, just gonna need tons of medical attention after this." "Lovin' the new look there old fart. Or should I say middle aged fart?" Giriko mock-complimented his partner's more handsome form. "We can argue later my boy, the old men managed to outsmart me." Mosquito firmly stated. "There's no hope for us here with their combined numbers, so I say we just deliver the blood and return to base." he suggested. "Master said to inject it into the one with the fez, and I think I know how to do so." "How bad is it guys?" Wendy asked Stein and Fiddleford as they examined Soul's wounds. "Good news, Soul will be fine. Bad news, we might be here a while to take care of him." McGucket gave his diagnosis. Meanwhile Stan turned to find Mosquito reverting back to his shorter form and leaping into the air. "Uh guys? We still got him to contend with." he cautioned before the butler spun his body like a rotor and zoomed downward towards Dipper and Mabel. "Kids, watch out!" he screamed jumping in front of the twins and putting himself in the Bloodsucker's path, falling victim to his Stinger. "Grunkle Stan!" the kids cried out. "Mr. Pines!" Wendy, Soos, Melody and the denizens of Death City added. "Stanley!" Ford screamed catching his brother in his arms. "Stanley, please wake up! I've already lost you once, I don't want to do it again!" "Guys, I'm okay. Just got this hole in my chest from the bugman." Stan groaned struggling to get up, only to cry out in pain from the wound. "Oy, must've really hit hard." "Well, looks like our job is done. See you all when the apocalypse comes!" Giriko casually bade farewell before he, Mosquito and his Golems walked away from them toward the mansion, leaving the Mystery Meisters alone in the forest.

Mere hours later, the crew remained to concoct one final attack on Kishin Cipher and help Stan & Soul recuperate from being assaulted by Mosquito. "Okay, now hold still knucklehead." Ford cautioned his brother as he tended to the large hole in his chest. "Hey, at least Stein ain't tendin' to me this time. He's an absolute madman I tells ya!" Stan commented glaring at Stein who was already taking care of Soul. Just then Dipper and Mabel walked up to him. "I can't believe you let yourself get in the way just for us." his great-nephew said. "We're so sorry you ended up like this as a result." "It's all right kids. I still did it for you two." Stan warmly stated hugging them both before his pain came back. "Aw hot Belgian waffles, that still stings!" he cried. "Like I said Stan, stay still!" Ford ordered his brother laying him down again. "Hopefully we're close to where Kishin Cipher might be hiding, I can feel it!" "Could it be over there in the horizon?" Liz asked and they all turned to find the mansion exactly where she pointed at. It was what was once the Northwest Mansion, but there was a menacing atmosphere surrounding it. "Well I'll be darned, that's gotta be mah Hootenanny Hut!" McGucket exclaimed before everyone else turned to stare awkwardly at him, no doubt confused about his choice of name for the building. "C'mon guys, calling it a mansion just sounded too fancy for me!" "We got no time to waste, Pacifica is in there and so are Bill & Asura!" Dipper announced. "If we don't stop those two soon, who knows what havoc they'll wreak upon the world!" Maka added with a recovering Soul by her side before he transformed into his scythe form. "The line must be drawn here, this far! No further!" she declared plunging the blade into the ground and literally making a line. "So are you ready as you'll ever be?" "Are you sure about this guys? There's a very good chance this is where we die." Eruka fretted gripping Blair's arm tightly. "Then perhaps today is a good day to die." Ford stated taking a stand next to Dipper and Maka. "Now who's with us?!" "We are!" the rest of the team all cried out raising their fists in the air before marching toward the Hootenanny Hut, ready for the final showdown against Kishin Cipher. But little did they know that they'll make a huge mistake.

Finally making it to the mansion's courtyard, Dipper & Mabel peeked from behind the gate to discover the water in the fountains were replaced with lava and the peacocks were now reptilian beasts. In place of the statue of Pacifica was one of Bill & Asura shaking hands while both Gravity Falls and Death City burned beneath them. And standing guard at the front door was none other than the Madness of Sloth. "He's got some tight security here!" Mabel exclaimed in a hushed tone before they were joined in snooping by Maka & Soul hovering over them, their heads inexplicably forming a column. "And he's got the cave troll formerly known as Mr. Northwest over there." Soul added before the column got taller until the entire party were spying on the courtyard. "Wait, how are we doing this?" "We're gonna need a distraction if we want to break into there. Got any ideas?" Kid asked the others. "Just use food to drive him away, then beat him over the head! That usually works in cartoons." Soos suggested. "Or maybe we could fake surrendering and sacrifice ourselves for the greater good." Crona added deadpanned, to the shock of everyone else. "Wow, way to bring the house down kiddo!" Ragnarok jeered popping out of his meister's vest to noogie him. "Why don't we use a decoy instead?!" "That's...actually a good idea Ragnarok." Tsubaki stated. "But which one is the real question." Just then Mabel and Black Star stood up with brave faces. "Our time has come." The Madness of Sloth thought he heard voices coming from outside the gate. Stomping away from his position to investigate, he turned his head to discover nothing there. Turning around to return to his post, Sloth then spotted Mabel covered in some red substance lying on the doorstep. "Oh the pain! All of this pain is so painful!" she cried out. "If only the master of this house would give me shelter from all the atrocities of humankind!" "What is your game commoner brat?" the Madness snarled looming over the girl. "This is no game my good sir! My family has shunned me for crimes so unspeakable, they are almost apocalyptic!" Mabel feigned shattered innocence. "I insist that I speak with your lord and become his ward! And he better have a double life as a nocturnal animal-themed crimefighter who has cool gadgets, his own cave and tons of mental issues!" "NOW!" The beast that was once Preston heard someone cry before he was suddenly tied up with a chain scythe. "Great acting there Mabel, you pulled off quite the overdramatic facade!" Blair congratulated her licking away the fake blood. "Thanks Blair. I think it was the ketchup that made it work." "You dare trespass on the lair of the omniscient Kishin Cipher?!" the Madness roared. "Prepare to be executed!" He summoned his giant bell and smashed it onto the ground, sending them flying back. "Guess it's finally time I put this feller to good use." McGucket stated pulling out his sonic banjo and playing a tune, repelling the bell's shockwaves. "Hey, it's actually working!" "Quick, while he's distracted!" Tsubaki commanded and they all raced to the door to try & open it. "Come on, open up you damn hunk of fancy wood!" Black Star shouted trying to push it down. "If I have to guess, whatever's behind this door has to be where Kishin Cipher is hiding!" Ford remarked before he gave up on the door. "How can we break it down now?" "I think I have an idea!" Patty chirped. "Anyone got something priceless I can use?" she asked. "I think I have one! Now where is it?" Stan responded before digging through his clothes and pulling out a large diamond. "Here we go, the Klopman diamond!" "Wait, THE Klopman diamond?! As in the cursed jewel that took the lives of many a rich woman's husband and served as a Saturday morning cartoon running gag?" Gideon cried in awe. "Wait, you actually took the damned diamond from that temple in Argentina?!" Ford scolded his brother. "The legends said it was associated with some kind of curse!" "Hey, those three bird spirits convinced me to search for it with a really catchy song!" Stan tried to defend his rather foolish actions. "I especially liked the one that looked like some duck in a sailor suit, kinda reminded me of you Sixer." Suddenly his brother shushed him while scowling. "Not another word Stan, now put that thing to good use." "Okay then bro." Stan answered resignedly before standing up and waving the diamond around in his hands. "Hey ugly, lookie what I got!" he called out to the Madness of Sloth. "A priceless cursed diamond, all for you!" The Madness turned to glare at Stan & the diamond before charging at the group, allowing time for McGucket to escape and join the others as they left the diamond in front of the door for Preston to smash through. "This is either your most brilliant idea or your stupidest. Though I guess there must be some middle ground." Ford commented before Preston crashed through the door, creating an entrance for the Mystery Meisters. "Can't believe that actually worked." Ghost-Eyes said before he gazed upon the beast now lying down on the ground. "You think he's dead?" "Doesn't seem like it, probably unconscious from bashing the door in." Spirit answered as they made their way for the door. "Well, guess there's no turning back now." "Seems like it Spirit." Ford declared before turning to the others. "Now does anyone have something to say before we go in there for the fight of our lives?" he asked. "I'd like to do one." Dipper said. "It's been a honor being your sister, great-nephew and friend everyone." "I really hope we can save Pacifica, if she's even still in there." Mabel added. "No matter what happens, we'll always stick together." Maka declared gripping Soul and Crona's hands tightly. "Bill and Asura won't stand a chance against the man who's gonna surpass God!" Black Star boasted as usual. "We will fight in the name of my father and the DWMA." Kid soon added. "And I'm gonna wear Bill's butt like a rhinestone slipper." Wendy stated. "Gonna be honest guys, maybe a few of us won't make it out alive." Soos admitted trying to be real. "Quick question, which one of you is a side character?" "Not now Soos, save the side character talk for later." Melody said. "Well we plan on redeeming ourselves for our past actions." Gideon said confidently, to which Ghost-Eyes, Eruka, Free and the Mizunes added with a nod. "And I want my house back!" Fiddleford exclaimed before spitting "Okay then, we're off." Ford announced quietly stepping into the mansion with the others following him. Dipper and Mabel took a moment to look over the unconscious Madness of Sloth and how they could save him. "What are we gonna do with him?" Mabel asked her brother. "We'll find a way for him to get better, I'm sure of it." Dipper assured her before they turned and continued on, fearful of what's to come.

Carefully stepping into the ballroom, the team noticed it didn't look that much different, the only exception being tapestries of people bowing before Bill, an image of Kishin Cipher's wheel carved into the floor and most of all, a large sack with a singular eye hanging below a giant hole in the roof. "This must be it everyone, this has got to be where Kishin Cipher is hiding!" Ford declared as they took shelter in the shadows of the room. "Now whatever you do, no one make a sound. Are we clear?" he ordered before he heard someone suddenly fart. "Okay, which one of you was it?!" "That may have been me dudes. I sometimes get nervous when we're in a creepy dark place and I'm told not to make a sound!" Soos confessed to the scientist before they suddenly discovered something glittering in the dark. "Hey, what's that over there?" Dipper wondered stepping closer to the object until he realized it was actually a gilded cage. "Guys, I think that may be where they're holding Pacifica!" "Why do you think that kid?" Spirit wondered as the others followed Dipper. "Because it seems like her entire life was like this before meeting me and Mabel." the boy added. "Now can someone help me lower this cage?" "I got this squirt!" Black Star boasted before he tossed his chain scythe at one of the cage bars, tied it up and lowered it to the ground. When the kids thought they would see their friend again after so long, they instead discovered the cage was now empty. "What the?! Where is she?" Maka exclaimed. "You think Bill had done something to her?" "Indeed we did Maka-chan." an all-too-familiar voice answered, that voice being none other than Medusa. "You again! What do you want with us now?" Ford shouted preparing his magnet gun. "And we won't let you beat us this time!" "Is that so my friends?" Medusa remarked putting on a fake innocent smile. "Well after I sent you all away, my master had assigned me to work on a particular project. Can you guess which one?" she quizzed the group, who all feared the worst while turning to gaze at the gilded cage. "If you're thinking about the girl, then you are indeed correct." Medusa stepped aside to reveal Pacifica, but she looked much different than when everyone last saw her. She was dressed in her usual clothing but her most peculiar feature was a metal helmet with a pair of three holes on both sides of the front and incredibly pointy teeth. "Is that you Pazzy?" Mabel muttered fearfully taking a few steps toward her friend. All was silent for a few moments until Pacifica harshly slapped the Pines sister aside, to the shock of everybody. "Mabel!" Stan screamed running toward his great-niece while the rest of the Pines tried to contemplate on what had just happened. "What's happened to Pacifica? Does it have something to do with that helmet she's wearing?" Dipper cried before the heiress summoned a katana blade and charged forward, about to stab the boy before he suddenly clashed her weapon with Excalibur. "Fool! It seems she is under our foe's control!" "The annoying blade is right child. I have experimented on the child hoping that she would come under the control of the Black Blood like her father, and it was a success." the witch explained proudly. "That helmet of hers allows us to make her our puppet by injecting the substance into her brain." "We gotta break that helmet and save her guys!" Dipper stated. "Here's the plan. Me, Maka, Kid, Wendy, Eruka, Free, Ford & Crona take care of Pacifica & Medusa. Black Star, Gideon, Ghost-Eyes, McGucket & Melody will rescue Mrs. Northwest. Finally, Soos, Blair, Mizune & Stein will try to help Mabel. Are we all clear?" "Roger roger!" Patty replied before she & Liz formed into Kid's pistols. "Can't believe I'm taking orders from someone I tried to kill last summer." Gideon growled before his team began searching for Pacifica's mother. "Don't worry dawg, we're here to help!" Soos exclaimed racing to Stan's side to assist Mabel. "And as for you." Dipper glowered at Medusa as his team took their battle stances and prepared for an epic showdown.

"Mabel? Mabel! Hey Mabel, wake up!" Stan exclaimed lightly smacking her great-niece on the side of her face. "Maybe if I try shaking her." "I don't think that's gonna work Mr. Pines." Soos commented before trying his hand at awakening his younger friend. "Hey hambone, if you wake up we'll get you pizza! With stuffed crust!" "S-stuffed crust?" Mabel moaned beginning to regain consciousness. "Yeah, you can eat it in reverse dude!" Soos continued on much to Stan's chagrin. "I can't believe we're having this conversation." he groaned before Mabel finally woke up in his arms. "Mabel, you're finally awake pumpkin!" "Grunkle Stan!" Mabel exclaimed hugging her grunkle. "Wait, what just happened?" she asked. "It's about Pacifica. She's been brainwashed by Medusa using the Black Blood and is already fighting your brother." Stein recapped for her. "She did WHAT?!" Mabel screamed angrily before glaring at Medusa who was currently fighting Dipper's team. "Oh am I gonna give her a piece of my mind for messing with my friends!" "Not so fast!" the familiar sound of Mosquito's voice called as he barreled toward them in his 100 years ago form with a Golem carrying Giriko's chainsaw form following behind. "Now is the time for us to finish the job!" "Heads up dudes, he's back!" Soos exclaimed running from the duo before Stein stabbed Mosquito in the shoulder with Spirit. "Don't try to run away now Soos, we still got these guys to handle!" Spirit exclaimed. "Right dawgs, for Pacifica!" Meanwhile Black Star's group was busy searching for Priscilla Northwest around the only part of the ballroom that wasn't caught in the midst of combat. "Now where could she be?" Gideon wondered looking around harder. "If I were a formerly rich women, where would I be?" Black Star added before McGucket suddenly got an idea. "Hey I know where she might be! There's this little trapdoor near that there lever that I use to keep my banjos!" "Excellent, let's see if we can open it." Tsubaki replied before they began searching for the trapdoor. Suddenly among the screams of battle, they heard a faint voice under the floor followed by some pounding. "Is anyone up there? Please help me!" "That must be the door!" Ghost-Eyes exclaimed before he felt around for the door. Finally discovering it, he bashed it in revealing the Northwest matriarch below, albeit with messier hair and nearly smeared makeup. "Oh thank you so much. You have no idea how torturous it was to be in there against your will!" "Ah don't mention Mrs. N, you can thank me, Black Star!" the young ninja declared. "The man who's gonna-ooh, mini-sandwiches!" He immediately became distracted by what the panic room contained. "And there's a coloring book as well!" "Listen, we've come to rescue you and your family from those guys. Is there any way we could get you out safely?" Melody asked. "I don't think that's important right now, just break the window over there!" Priscilla stated and Black Star, now out of the panic room with some mini-sandwiches in his mouth, smashed it. "Okay miss, now get out of here!" "Not so fast!" Medusa shouted firing a Vector Arrow at them. "Master Cipher shall not let you leave here alive!" she declared cornering the rescue team before she was bearhugged from behind by Free. "Oh no you don't ex-boss! This is for beating us up whenever we failed you!" "We're dona serving you Medusa, and Kishin Cipher as well!" Eruka added tossing a few Tadpole Grenades at Pacifica, who simply destroyed them all with her katana before charging at the frog witch when suddenly Dipper clashed blades with her again. "Listen Pacifica, I know you're still in there!" Dipper cried for his friend. "You got to fight it, just like how you fought against your family's reputation!" Pacifica once again still didn't speak before their blades started to clank against one another. "Fool, it seems giving her the cliched 'I know you're in there' speech won't work right now! It seems the only way to free your friend is to destroy that helmet!" Excalibur stated. "Right, but how?" "Get away from my experiment brat!" Medusa screamed getting between the two. "Any moment now, Kishin Cipher will reawaken and finish the job for us!" She then fired a Vector Arrow at Dipper who deflected it with a swipe of Excalibur before charging at the witch with a war cry. Then suddenly he was sent flying backwards with a Vector Plate into a wall before his barely conscious form was met with a disapproving glare from Medusa. "Pathetic." "I seriously need help here Excalibur! What do you got that can break Medusa's control over Pacifica?!" Dipper cried struggling to get back up. "Hm, I suppose I do have quite the trick up my sleeve. But you'll have to rap with me here boy." the Holy Sword stated bringing himself back to his temporary Meister's side and began to glow. "Here goes nothing." "Hey guys, what's happening to Dipper?" Wendy asked Kid. "I can't believe my eyes, he's actually doing it!" the son of Death declared in astonishment. "Doing what?" Ford inquired. "Accessing the power of Excalibur himself." The boy floated in the air with wings made of light forming out of his back while holding Excalibur aloft. "Impossible..." Medusa muttered before Dipper unleashed the full power of the sword. "Hero..." he prepared to zoom towards the witch and her puppet. "THE ATOMIC!" With a mighty slash, Medusa lost half of her torso & Pacifica's helmet was reduced to metallic shards, leaving the two of them to fall flat on their faces. "D-did he just-" Crona stuttered before the boy rushed to Pacifica's side and flipped her over on her back. "Come on P, wake up!" "You think she's...dead?" Priscilla asked beginning to shed a few tears. "FOOLS! I feel she is simply unconscious. I know because this isn't the first time I used that move." Excalibur stated. "Dipper, I think I know what'll work!" Mabel cried. "Try true love's kiss, that always works in the movies!" "What?! Mabel, this is no time to invoke cliched movie tropes, we don't have enough time left before Kishin Cipher wakes up!" Dipper exclaimed incredulously. "Just do it kid and let's get outta here!" Stan added. Everyone watched in anticipation as Dipper let out a long, exasperated sigh and puckered his lips, finally planting them on Pacifica's own pair causing her to finally awaken. "Oh, what happened? How long did I sleep?" "Uh for your information, they made me kiss you." Dipper tried to talk his way out of it before Mabel screeched in joy. "What did I tell you all?! It did work like in the movies!" "There's no time! We got Pacifica, now we just flee and find a way to cure her father!" Maka exclaimed trying to gun for the door until she was suddenly assaulted by Medusa. "You are far too late little one. He's finally waking up." She gestured to the large sack which started trembling a bit. "Better hurry before he slaughters you all." "She's right, let's go!" Eruka cried in fear before she was suddenly sent flying towards Kishin Cipher's wheel sitting below the sack as it fell down to the floor. "But before we can truly get things started, there must be sacrifices first. Like you, you filthy traitor." "What is even happening right now?!" Stan exclaimed as the sack began taking on a more humanoid shape. "That sack is really Kishin Cipher!" Kid replied fearfully before its transformation completed and clumsily stepped toward Eruka. "I'm coming Eruka!" Dipper cried out rushing to the witch's side before the creature took a knee and stared at the two with his hands clasped together...before he let out a loud, bone-chilling shriek. Dipper & Eruka started screaming as well in fear of Kishin Cipher before his screaming turned into insane laughter. "Oh you should see the looks on your faces, just priceless!" he cackled. "And your screams of terror were something else too, right guys?!" Kishin Cipher then tore off a portrait of a younger Pacifica with her parents to reveal an interdimensional tear colored dark purple, red & yellow that had a distinct smell of burnt hair. Ford immediately knew what this was. "The Nightmare Realm?!" "Rightio Sixer, hats off to you for getting it right!" Kishin Cipher complimented with a tip of the hat, also flipping the house upside down and back again. "My my my, what a main cast we got here!" he exclaimed menacingly. "And we even got my old friends the Pines family back for another round! Can I get a round of applause here nightmares and monstrosities?!" Sounds of an applauding crowd emitted from the entrance to the Nightmare Realm before a large red-faced creature with a permanent smile peered out of the opening, frightening the team all except for Ford who was determined to put Bill out to pasture once and for all. "You can't scare me anymore Bill! We still have the journals, which means we have access to your weakness!" the scientist declared pulling out Journal 3 but he was too late to realize it wasn't the real book. "Mushroom omelette. For this recipe, you will need any kind of mushroom, eggs, butter, wait just a tick. This isn't the journal..." "IT'S A COOKBOOK!" Stan screamed in terror. "Game over man, game over! Close the beach, women & children only, oh the humanity!" Black Star panicked before scooping up Liz in his arms. "Okay that does it! Screw you guys, we're going home!" the elder Thompson sister cried and the two rushed toward the entrance screaming until the Madness of Sloth, now having regained consciousness, halted them. "What did you do Kishin Cipher?!" Dipper shouted furiously but the fusion of Bill & Asura replied with a haughty sneer. "Lookin' for these?" he taunted summoning the original three journals from out of nowhere. "If you wanna get outta here alive, you'll have to give me what I want!" "And that would be?" Soul asked preparing for a fight before he felt himself picked up and dragged towards Kishin Cipher along with Stan. "Why you two of course! How does joining my Horsemen of the Apocalypse sound?!" the beast offered. "Over my dead body triclops! The day I side with an idiot like you is the day I die!" Stan argued back trying to free himself. "You guys get outta here, Bill here is mine!" "I don't think so!" Kishin Cipher mocked the old man before he let a few of his bandages capture Dipper, Mabel, Ford & Maka. "Either surrender yourselves now, or they pay the price!" he threatened strangling the four of them. "It's your choice." "Don't do it Stan, I'd rather die than lose you again!" Ford tried to reach out to his brother. "But then you'd still lose me because you'll be dead and not me." Stan rebutted just as Kishin Cipher tightened his hold on their loved ones. "So, what's it gonna be you two?" The two of them looked at one another, then at their family & friends before sighing in defeat. "Fine, you can take us. Just leave them alone." Soul declared. "Good choice Piano Keys." the monster congratulated the Demon Scythe before dropping the six of them and shoving Stan & Soul on the wheel. "Mosquito, the Morality Manipulator!" "With pleasure master." Mosquito said bowing before he pulled a level that dropped a glass dome over the two. "I'm so sorry kids, but I'm doing this for you!" Stan cried pounding on the glass. "Promise that you'll come back for us you guys!" Soul added as Kishin Cipher hovered over the dome. "And now, the finishing touch." "Get your filthy hands off my friend!" Kid screamed firing at him with his pistols and prepared a flying kick to the face before the Dream Kishin stopped him mid-attack. "Tsk tsk tsk. Stupid little brother." Kid froze in fear upon hearing Kishin Cipher call him his brother. Who really was Asura and how are they connected? He made a mental note to speak with Death about the matter as he fell to the floor. "Now where were we? Oh yeah!" the monster exclaimed before tapping on the dome sending an electric shock downward. "Now this is where the magic begins!" "Indeed. This version of the Morality Manipulator reacts to Black Blood which takes form by traveling through the holder's bloodstream to their heart & brain, warping their minds and their souls." Mosquito exposited as the painful transformation began. Stan howled in agony as his five o'clock shadow turned into a full beard and felt himself covered in head to toe in golden armor. Soul was in as much agony with his skin turning red, horns growing out of his growing head and his white hair disappearing. Their loved ones could only watch in shock & sadness over this until the shock disappeared signifying the end of the process and the dome ascended back to the ceiling, revealing the two's new forms. "Zoo-wee mama, you two are looking sharp!" Kishin Cipher exclaimed putting hands on both their shoulders. "I think I'll call you the Madness of Greed and you the Madness of Envy!" "Soul, please tell us there's still a bit of you in there." Crona whimpered tiptoeing toward his transformed friend before the new Madness of Envy grabbed him by the wrist. "There is no Soul, only the Ogre!" he hissed before punching Crona in the face. "Seems like the prophecy is down three mortals!" "Three mortals? But we still haven't cracked the bell yet." Dipper mused. "Unless it actually represents..." That was when he came to a realization. "The bell is Preston Northwest!" "Ding ding ding, you're our grand prize winner! Medusa, show him what he's won!" Kishin Cipher screamed imitating a game show host before the witch, now in a fancy red dress & an unamused expression, stuck her arm out with another on her hip toward the mansion entrance. "You my friends get an all-expenses paid vacation to my newer, funner world! Have a good time and never come back!" With a hearty cackle, Kishin Cipher finally tossed all of them out of the mansion, sending them screaming all the way through. "You know, it's times like this where I feel like singing!" he shouted rubbing his hands together before gesturing to Giriko at a piano. "Maestro?" The Demon Saw played a few notes on his instrument beginning a song. "Today's just so wonderful, I feel like chuckling," Kishin Cipher began singing before adding in a chuckle and pulled out a baby duck. "I feel all fuzzy inside like a duckling, full of tarantulas! And now that I'm here," He then prepared to snap his fingers making the portal to the Nightmare Realm grow bigger. "Tonight, it's gonna get...weird!" With that, he snapped his fingers causing the tear to split wide open large enough for all the interdimensional criminals and nightmares he called his friends to escape. Among them were a goblin with a pair of eight-balls for eyes, a literal walking set of teeth, a strange blue creature with a large keyhole shape in his forehead, a geometric shape resembling Bill only he was a blue rhombus, a pink demoness covered in white flames, a large demonic baby, a red hexagon wearing a bowler hat, a monster made up of various colorful squares connected together, a giant walking purple loaf of bread wearing a party hat, a lava lamp-esque demon also wearing a bowler hat, various eyes flying using bat wings and an army of odd human-shaped metallic beings led by four demons. The first demon wore a white top-hat and vaguely resembled a human but with distorted eyes. The second demon was a female that almost appeared nude with various markings on her bare front and a fur cloak. The third had no resemblance to a human and had a waning crescent moon for a head. Finally the fourth monster was all black with multiple sheets on top of one another as clothing. "Look at these creatures, not enough features!" Kishin Cipher continued picking up a kitten. "Cats should breath fire, bears should sing choir!" Squeezing the feline between his fingers making it spit fire, he then turned to a trio of bears who harmonized reluctantly for him. "Hm, very nice!" "Look at this tower, under my power!" The next act of insanity the Dream Kishin committed was turning the water tower into a sentient being with sharp teeth before he turned to the town of Gravity Falls itself, to the horror of the townsfolk. "Look at these people, puny and feeble!" Kishin Cipher then jumped down to town square to corner the fleeing populace and sat down on a nearby building. "Look, I'm just an abomination that's trying to save you." he falsely assured them. "From the delusions society gave you!" He emphasized that line by reversing gravity itself. "Gravity's a lie and so is the sky! Trust in the all-seeing, all-knowing, EYE!" With that, Kishin Cipher then telekinetically made giant portions of land rise from various parts of Gravity Falls to form a large pyramid to serve as his lair before zooming inside to continue his song. "Look at this money, who's that honey?!" he crooned making his own face appear on a dollar bill rather than George Washington. "Look throughout history, how could you miss me?!" He then made a grand gesture toward pictures of various historical events with Bill hastily scribbled into them. "Seriously, I'm like all over the place!" "Look at this weather, I could do better!" he then boasted stepping outside to mess with reality some more. "Mandelbrot rainbows, screaming tornadoes!" Kishin Cipher harmonized drawing an oddly colored rainbow over his pyramid like the logo of a certain film company and spun his finger around to create a perpetually screaming hurricane. "Look at this loser, drinking coffee!" The monster then glared at a brown-haired man dressed in red flannel sipping some joe, blissfully unaware of the chaos around him. "Now it's decaf!" With a wave of Cipher's finger, the man spit out his drink in shock. "Look at these people, calling me evil!" Kishin Cipher reached the conclusion of his song as he faced a group of citizens trying to fight back against him before he carelessly petrified them. "Right back at you, now you're all statues!" Rising up from the ground to take in the insanity around him, Kishin Cipher celebrated his victory as his friends wreaked havoc around the Oregon town. "Everything you know has disappeared, it's gonna get weird!" Meanwhile with the Mystery Meisters, they were recovering from being kicked out of Kishin Cipher's lair before they looked up at the sky in terror as Kishin Cipher began cackling victoriously. There were no words spoken from them all except for Dipper who had only one thing to say. "Weirdmageddon."

And so concludes Quest for the Northwest. Our heroes may have rescued Pacifica, but Kishin Cipher has won both the battle AND the war before either of them started! That's right ladies and gents, we've finally reached the endgame! This party will never stop, so join us next time for the dawn of Weirdmageddon II!

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