#but the only one i liked more had nate in it and i didnt want to fucking draw him fuck off nate this isnt about you

[ultimatecryptid]

i think im gonna scrap this for now, it ended up being too far out of my skill level and im just getting discouraged. but maybe ill return to it in the future!

a scene directly out of @collegetennisoriginstory with the incredible rayyan

[sturnsgirl]

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ CLINGY

₊ ⊹౨M.STURNIOLOৎ₊ ⊹

IN WHICH Matt thinks Y/n has been too 'clingy'?

a/n- this Is ass i'll make up for it i swear

ೀSTURNSGIRLೀ

Y/N POV

Matt has been so distant with me recently. I feel like he's starting to loose his love for me?

He's out with Nick and Chris getting food because Chris was hungry and I'm not gonna lie I was too but I didn't want to ask due to how matt had been acting and I didn't want to annoy him more.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

Matt Ml 💕🫂

Matt Ml 💕🫂 -do you want food?

no thanks baby.❤-Y/n

Matt Ml 💕🫂 -k.

seen by y/n

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

'k.'? He never says that. what did I do.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

MATTS POV

I reply to Y/n's text before pulling up to the window so Nick can order.

Look I love my girlfriend, shes my everything but honestly I dont like pda and sometimes I just need space.. from her..

I love spending time with her dont get me wrong its just..sometimes shes all over me it feels like. We both are huge on physical touch but recently its too much..

As Nick finishes I pull up to the window and pay for our food before heading back home.

MINI TIME SKIP

Once we arrive home I leave my food on the counter heading to my room to change into something more comfortable seeing a piece of paper on my bed with blue pen ink with writing that read-

"I went somewhere else baby, sorry for what ever I did. I didn't want to text you to annoy you so i just left this. I'm sorry my love. I love you."

Shit. what did I do.

I set the paper down running out my room past Chris and Nick who were confused as i got my phone out to call y/n instantly.

Ring

Ring

Ring

'Your call has been sent to voice mai-'

"fuck." I whisper. I had to find her before she hurt herself. The only place i could think of besides her house was this park we went to as kids. where she would always go.

I sped past every sign to get there as quick as I could and once I arrive to no ones surprise she was there. Sitting at the top at the opening by the slide. Getting out the car running up the stairs of the playset up to my beautiful girl who was crying her soul out before seeing me.

I stood still. frozen.

"Matt im.. so sorry!" She says hugging my legs on the floor sobbing and sniffling.

I immeditly get down to hug her

"Oh sweetheart.. im so sorry y/n please dont cry baby its my fault! you didnt do anything!" I say holding her in my arms.

"Matt what did I do? why have you been like this recently?!" I say sniffling and sobbing

"Im sorry y/n its just i love you but I felt like you were too close and all over me! and I havent really been a big fan of pda so I just have been.. avoiding you! im so sorry!" I force out quickly.

"oh.. i-im so sorry! I wont be like that anymore 'm sorry!" I breath out

"No! its okay baby you didnt do anything!" I comfort

"c'mon princess lets go home" I say picking her up.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

ONE WEEK LATER.

Y/N'S POV

After what matt told me at the park ive been keeping my distance giving him space and not all over him especially in public. but one thought that ran my head repeadilty was 'did he not like how i acted this whole time for a whole year almost two years?'.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

Matt Ml 💕🫂

Matt Ml 💕🫂 -Hey babyy

Hi ml-Y/n

Matt Ml 💕🫂 -come over? nick wants to host some move night thing.

sureee-Y/n

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

Arriving at the triplets house I enter seeing that Madi,nate,larray,nailea, and some other friends were there as well.

walking in greeting everyone matt comes out his room in a black wifebeater and grey sweatpants. ((nutted))

"Hey Maaa!" he says excitedly going to grab my waist but I turn the other way to say hi to madi who I hadnt said hi to before.

"hey madi, hey matt" I say hugging madi then looking at matt.

"HEY MOVIES STARTING C'MON!!" Nick yells

Walking to the couch, Matt sitting down next to Nate. All the spots were taken now.

"C'mere baby" matt says patting his lap.

"uh- no its okay i'll just sit on the floor" I say smiling as matts smile drops.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

The movie had finally ended and everyone gets up ready to leave. once everyone says their goodbyes I go into matt's room to grab my hoodie I had left here so I could go home. Just as I was about to walk out of Matts room he walks in.

"where you going baby?" He asks

"home?" I say giggling

"no" he says and before I can speak he grabs my waist and pushes me in his room closing his door while doing so.

He lays me on his bed laying on my stomach

"all right y/n now tell me whats wrong.." Matt asks

"Nothing? you said you needed space so thats what im giving you" I say softly

"Fuck.. no y/n! i dont want space baby i was just going through something with nick and chris that week and i took it out on us, you! im sorry sweetheart i didnt mean any of that shit! i wanna show you off. show everyone your mine baby i love you!" he says on the verge of tears. sitting up and pulling me on his lap facing him.

"Im sorry baby. i just thought i was too clingy so i just-"

He cuts her off. His girl- clingy? thats what he made her think and that was so far off. he felt awful. his girl was far from that.

"Clingy? no baby no im so sorry your not that at all my love dont think that at all listen i love you and from now on i want you all over me anywhere anytime okay?" he says.

I simply nod as he grabs the back of my neck pulling me into a soft kiss.

"i love you Matt."

"i love you too y/n"

[kaicubus]

Water Fountain | Cassie H.

warnings ✩° : angst, brief mention of suicide, swearing, arguing, no happy ending.

pairing ✩° : cassie howard x fem!reader

premise ✩° : people grow apart, feelings distance, you just didnt know she’d move on so quickly.

word count ✩° : 2.7k 

authors note ✩° : this was way less planned than my other euphoria fics so i just rolled with it. i actually??? quite enjoy??? writing for cassie??? maybe bc she has so much angst in her character but who knows...

now playing : Water Fountain by Alec Benjamin

You didn’t know why your friends stopped walking in the middle of the hallway.

You didn’t know why suddenly everyone turned around to look at you and hurriedly sweep you away.

You didn’t know that your girlfriend of three years had her mouth on Nate Jacobs right in front of the old, rusted water fountain where you both had your first kiss. She told you she loved you, how could she forget?

When you knew Cassie Howard, she was an innocent girl. Everybody knew that, which was part of the reason why she was targeted so often.

Her was always side parted, a messy kind of pretty, and she never wore makeup that made her look runway gorgeous—only enhancing her doe eyes and soft brows. She always had her nails painted a baby blue or light brown. The Cassie you knew would never do this.

 “So, you're going to explain what were doing here out of class?” the blonde asked in a distant memory, “Or are you just going to keep standing there like an idiot?”

You pushed your hair back and smiled, “Probably stand here like an idiot.”

The corners of Cassie’s lips pulled up in amusement, “Seriously!” She sounded like an angel.

“Who said I wasn't serious?” You teased, pushing your lips out and raising your brows.

She rolled her eyes with an impatient grin, “Look, if you're not going to tell me why were standing right here with the only thing watching us being this water fountain, I'm going to leave—”

“No no no! Cass, wait—wait ok look Ill tell you!”

She turned around triumphantly but before she could fully give you the smug look she’d hoped to, your hands were planted on the edge of her hips. With a gentle hold, you treated her like liquid gold as you pulled her body against yours. Her sparkling azure eyes fluttered in surprise as a little gasp escaped her pouty lips on impact.

“I just wanted to do something cute.” your pupils dilated in pure adoration for the girl.

“Y/n all you do is cute.” Cassie laughed again, this time more quiet given how close you two had quickly become in proximity.

Her smile alone was enough to send butterflies loose in your stomach, god you were smitten.

“Well...?” Her words snapped you back to reality and back into your plan. As you scanned her face, you already knew she knew what you were going to do. So why waste anymore time? Within seconds, your lips were molded against her soft, plump ones. Strawberries and vanilla spread into your senses and you were at pure bliss, so was she.

When you pulled away from her, Cassie had a smile starting from one ear to the next that thinned her lips happily. She didn't even have to say anything to show her elation, her silence alone spoke volumes. The way she twisted her thick, golden hair in an attempt to hide her nervousness just added to the fact that Cassie was practically glowing.

She parted her mouth with her tongue and wet her bottom lip, “I love you.”  she said.

With nothing in your mind left to say, you made the fatal mistake of saying, “I love you too, Cass.”

That time by the water fountain was the last time you saw that Cassie.

Who stood sheltered behind your protective friends didn't shimmer and shine like the old Cassie was someone you didn't know. She was rusted and warped by a force you could not save her from, so you watched old Cassie whittle away and disperse from your arms.

As much as everybody knew Cassie was innocent and harmless, they knew you were always associated with her. You were the closest person to Cassie next to Maddy, who was always with Nate—her boyfriend. Except, as of recent, the couple has been on a break.

Your friends knew from all the longing stares, changes in your posture and body language, and hand holding that you had a hopeless crush on Cassie. Lexi, Kat, and Maddy assured you she did too. After all, she was more than happy to spend nights alone with you and fall asleep on call when you had asked her; She even gave you small tokens of her affection and sometimes kissed you on the forehead to go the extra mile.

“Guys?” you laugh a bit, confused and honestly kind of scared, “What’s going on?”

“A fight,” Maddy said quickly.

“Rue’s passed out,” Kat nodded.

“Sex. People are having wild, untamed sex,” Lexi starts pushing you away from the sex fight that made Rue pass out.

“Guys, seriously. What the hell is going on? Hey! Lex, stop pushing—”

“Nothing,” They say in unison, “How about we skip today?” Kat offers.

“No, I can’t I have a test I actually studied for, now come on—let go!” you attempt to shake them off but its no use, there's too many of them and one of you.

“You can study again! You're smart.” Maddy reassures you.

“That’s it,” with one final, firm push, you break apart the human barrier and finally take in something that wasn't their worried faces. Instead, it was much worse.

There she was. Cassie’s blonde hair doting over his shoulders. Cassie’s blue eyes shut with notes warmth and hints of lust. Cassie’s lovely fingertips kissing his jawline. Cassie’s tender lips leaning against his thin mouth. Cassie.

You wanted to pass out. By the looks of it, your friends wanted too as well. Each one had a signature expression, imperative to their personality and how they handled shock or something they didn't want to see. Lexi, awkward and surely uncomfortable. Kat, judgmental and off-put. And Maddy. She was pissed. You on the other hand, staring at Cassie kissing Nate Jacobs felt like a stab to the heart, and as soon as you went down, being shot multiple times by different projectiles over and over again.

“Nate is such a fucking asshole.” you mumbled to Cassie one day.

“Hm? What?” she said as her attention followed him and Maddy to who knows where, “Sorry, I-I wasn't listening.”

“Hes just so abusive. Like did everybody just forget what he did to Maddy?”

“That was proved false by both of them and the cops, don't hold it against him Y/n.” Cassie’s peachy lips curled in a slight annoyance.

“Sorry,” you muttered, “Why are you defending him again?”

“I'm not defending him. He just doesn't deserve that being spread around again.”

“You sound like you love him.”

As soon as she plucked her mouth from his, Cassie’s attention pans to her side and in just a matter of moments she was staring directly at you.

“Y/n,” Kat’s voice snapped you out of your trance, “We should go.”

“No, Y/n are you going to fucking take that?!” Maddy crosses her arms. She’s more angry than you are.

“Guys we should just leave, it’s not worth it.” Lexi says.

“Lexi’s she’s your goddamn sister, did she not say anything about this? How could she just leave Y/n for NATE?!”

“She didn’t tell me anything. She hasn’t been home at night, she’s just gone. Mom says she’s out but she wouldn’t tell me jack shit.”

Maddy bites her lip so hard, the sharp taste of metal plagues her pallet.

“What...” You finally speak, catching everybody’s attention, “What the fuck...”

Before anyone could take you away, you watch Nate pull Cassie’s face back to it’s original position; Almost as if he knows you’re watching, he tugs at her delicate cheeks and forces her to look at him. Nate hooks a greedy hand over her small of her back, harnessing her hips by his wrist, pulling her in slowly.

Your breath leaves you in small, shallow breaths. There’s nothing you can do, watching as Nate indulges in yet another deep, suffocating kiss from Cassie. This time, she doesn't reciprocate. Instead, all she can do is stare at you. He continues to make his way down her neck, showing as much PDA as possible even if that meant making the entire school uncomfortable. Even with his advances in nibbling st her vanilla scented flesh, Cassie sways as the movements push her side to side, lifeless like a still corpse.

She tries not to cry when her eyes meet yours. Tries. Without fail, you notice Cassie’s eyes gloss over with a pathetic layer of tears. Of all people, you should be the one who’s heart’s gutted out by the others actions. But she cries regardless.

When he surfaces, Nate whispers in her ear, but she can’t even bring herself to listen. How could she? All this time, she was trying to get over you and fill the void that was left in the absence of you. Of course, it wasn’t a justifiable reason for what your eyes have seen, but in Cassie’s mind it was. With the illusion shattered all Cassie could feel was her fragile heart break once again.

In an attempt to not seem more pitiful than she already seems, she hastily wipes over her lashes, smudging hot pink streaks of mascara all over her already rose wet cheeks. She wipes and wipes, but her tears don’t let up. It’s useless to even continue so she just stares at you with red and puffy eyes, completely lost.

Though Cassie’s eyes were glued onto yours, hoping, praying you’d see through everything she’s been through and find it in you to accept her now, but you don’t. In fact, the very sight of her pursed lips and gaping eyes makes you scrunch your face in pure distaste.

Cassie wanted to cry, vomit, scream, anything to get you to stop making that damn face. It wrecked her to her core seeing you look at her like that but she knew all too well what the cause of it is.

You turn away in time for Nate to get a good look at Cassie. He doesn’t ask why she’s crying, he doesn’t even bat an eye, instead he just gives her a grin and walks off into the crowd of people.

“Y/n—” she mouths your name as soon as he leaves, lurching forward after you've gotten too far away from her, “Y/n I’m sorry!” You can hear her voice faintly, whispering and traveling into your ears, hunkering you down to the floor, motionless.

It doesn't matter if there was a crowd of people blocking the two of you, or that Nate was already long gone as well as Maddy, Kat, and Lexi, all Cassie was concerned with, was you. The distance had already grown unbearable, and it was all her fault; self-awareness was eating her alive like leeches under and over her skin, refusing to let her forget all the memories that had become well swallowed by a thick mental fog. 

The sound of the bell blares and Cassie jumps at the noise, looking over her shoulder for a short moment just enough to see people feeding into different halls and different classrooms leaving just you and her by the warning bell rings. Was it her chance now more than ever to make things right?

Without any other second to lose, your lack of protest enables Cassie to move forward, shoving past everybody already passing through. Her hands guide her to pave a pathway that she can actually see through, and that’s when she notices her hands and how strange they've become. Almost foreign, her bold, coffin shaped acrylics reflect back at her and she’s forced to remember times where both you and her would do each others manicures. “I always liked how light blue looks on you, Cass.” your voice echoes in her head. She shakes her head and notices the dark pink color wrapped around her nails. Cassie worms through more and more students, bumping into backpacks and nearly cutting her face on enamel pins adjourned onto the rough materials.

The clacking of her rhinestone heels echo against the linoleum tiles as she walks closer and closer towards you. She looks like a million dollars, like the most perfectly plucked flower in a field, like a diamond. She looks exactly like Maddy Perez. Not like Cassie Howard.

By the time she reaches you, just a few steps away from you, she comes to a halt.

You watch as her chest yanks up and down, trying to catch her fleeting breath, not wanting to be the first to say anything. You knew Cassie wasn't going to say anything either, so for those few moments you two spent closer than you've been in months, you were silent. What had to be said? You knew that when you met Cassie, she was too naive, too oblivious, too young. But you wanted to be young with her.

Now that you cant even recognize her both physically and spiritually, there's nothing more to be had. Though, Cassie had more things to say.

“Y/n...how have you been?” somehow, you recognize the tone in her voice from before.

Quite horrible, actually, you want to say but don't, “Good.” You don't even bother asking how she is.

Cassie sheepishly grabs her elbows like she had done in the past, directly conflicting with her bold appearance, “I missed you.” her head twitches to the side and her eyes fall onto your shoes.

“Cool. I see because you missed me, you're with him?”

She shakes her head, “No it’s not—not entirely...like that.”

“I see,” you look at her expression, hooded eyes concealing her used-to-be shining ones, “So, you know, if you have nothing to say to me I guess we’re done here?”

Cassie feels her heart crumble to thousands of pieces and suddenly she jerks her head back up to match your gaze, “No! No, I actually. I actually wanted to say sorry...”

“Sorry?” you laugh a little, “Sorry for what? Besides royally fucking up my image of you and single-handedly ruining my love life and future plans with you, you have nothing to apologize for.”

Future plans, with her? She thought on your words for a moment before finding the right words to say next, “Not that specifically.” Cassie tucks her flat ironed hair behind her ear, “The water fountain.”

You scrunch your nose in anger, “That’s it? The water fountain?”

She looks at you with the same innocence she always had inside her and pouts just enough to bring out the old Cassie. “Yeah,” her voice is small, “I didn't want you to see that...in front of our place.”

“I guess its not our place if there's no us to begin with.” You say, dropping your shoulders.

“Y/n, I’m sorry—”

“No, Cassie, I’M sorry. I’m sorry for giving you any impression whatsoever that I want to talk to you after what you did to me. I’m sorry that I witnessed my ex with the one guy I told her to steer clear of. I’m sorry that—” the inevitable feeling of tears leaking from your eyes causes you to choke, “I’m sorry that I ever told you I loved you by that goddamn fountain. Because maybe, if I didn't, you and Nate would've been together sooner instead of going behind my back at night just to get a worthless FUCK out of him.”

With wet eyes, you furiously wipe your face, “So, I’m the one who should be sorry, Cassie. The only thing I’d ever hold you accountable for is forgetting what you told me by that stupid fountain.”

Cassie stares in shock, holding her face with her hands as she’s unable to hold back her wails and ugly cries. You can’t even look at her, not because of her expressions but because of why she’s doing them. “If you cared about me this wouldn't have ever happened. Never forget that, Cassie.”

You watch as she falls to her knees, repeatedly apologizing to the point where the words, ‘I’m sorry’ don't even feel a part of the English dictionary.

Even now, she’s too naive, too oblivious, too young. She doesn’t even get a chance to see you for the last time with her reflection in your glossy eyes. Cassie’s never going to get a house with a fountain for her, she’s never going to feel what it’s like to dance with you or to be held by you—it’s too late.

Patience running thin, you turn away, leaving her alone on the floor with your final words to her being, “I have to get to class.” and leaving her with nothing more but the memories by the water fountain.

[nanuk-dain]

Generation Kill Research Results

We all know that there's really specific stuff in GK that only those who were there would know, much of which we get in the books Generation Kill (Evan Wright) and One Bullet Away (Nate Fick).

I needed some more intel for my fics, so I went hunting for all the things RL Ray said about GK relevant topics on reddit. The result is a list of all his comments, from radio frequencies to how exactly he got burnt by Rudy's stove to the MRE components and the truth about the Zeus attack and what colour the PT shorts of Recon guys were.

The list has been vetted by @bookishdea to make sure that there's no personal info about the RL guys in there.

It's sorted by topic: weapons/equipment, radios/comms, beanies/uniforms, officers in Recon, Humvees, MREs, Humvee arrangement/Reporter, Zeus attack, explosion of Rudy's stove, Captain America's name, invasion, Recon training/conditions of OIF, Ripped Fuel, First Recon, Afghanistan/Ray's Marine Corps career, characters/people career background, paddles, GK production, float tapes.

I hope you find interesting stuff in there. I originally made it for myself, but since the effort went in already anyway, I figured I could share it with those who don't want to risk coming across RL Marines infos, but who might still profit from the GK-specific infos.

- all intel are responses of RL Ray (plasmata) on reddit in various subreddits, collected 23. Nov. 2023

- Q = question asked on reddit, A = Ray's answer. There's not always a question supplied, just where it's necessary to understand his answer

weapons/equipment

- At the time most of the Marine Corps was still using the M16s and M249 (SAW). Recon units were one of the first ones to get M4's and Para-SAWs (carbine versions of the M249). So, folks like officers and regular support folks were still carrying their standard M16, while 0321 Recon Marines were carrying M4s.

- Q: I was rewatching GK (again) and I think it was episode 2 when Rudy and Pappy took out the RPG team. I don’t know what the sniper rifle caliber is called I would think it’s a .338 laupa because that was standard sniper rifle of the Marine Corps.

A: No. It was an M40 A3 which shoots a 7.62x51mm NATO round. It is essentially the same thing as a .308 They are based on a Remington 700 and modified by USMC armorers. Anyone that went to sniper school would shoot that rifle. Recon marines go to sniper school. Those who didnt would still crosstrain on range so they werent totally ignorant to the weapon.

- Q: Why do some of the men in the 1st Recon Battalion have no attachments on their M4 ie Q-Tip, Christenson, and Ray, while others like Brad, Fick, Fruity Rudy had optics and grips?

A: Because some people think that having that shit on your weapon makes you look cooler. It is all personal preference.

- Q: I've always wondered if the real Brad rocked that PVS-17 the whole time like his character did.

A: He sure did. It is an easy way to always have NV handy without having to have something strapped to your fucking head all the time (PVS-7's).

radios/comms

-Q: In ep 2, right after the ambush scene when there is a radio check, whatdo the "up" numbers mean? (up 120 and up, up 700 and up, up 200 and up..etc)

A: It is a short way to indicate status. "Up" means we are all good and no one is injured or dead. IIRC the number indicates rounds of ammo left.

- Q: In the ep 2 episode intro somebody says: "All Hitman Victors, be advised, we are rolling freaks to TAC 1-1-9 at 1400 Zulu. How copy?" I understand everything expect "rolling freaks". Any ideas?

A: It does mean "rolling freqs" which is shorthand for "Changing radio Frequencies."

As you have seen in the series, the military communicates using radio's. As a security measure, everyone changes to a different radio frequency at the same time at set intervals. Lets say that the enemy was able to steal/capture a US radio. Then they would be able to listen in on all our radio conversations...this is bad. So, just in case that happens we all change frequencies (along with crypto fills and other things) so that radio only has value for a very limited time.

This is definitely also combined with crystallographic signature changes as well as something known as frequency hopping (SINGARS) for additional security.

- Q: So how would the teams be able to keep up with the new radio frequencies? Are they passed by runner or is a CYZ used?

A: They are typically pre-planned in a "comm plan" (communications plan). If a radio were to come up missing then they would change the comm plan and distribute however they could.

If you look at the HMMWV windshield next to Brad Colbert in the series you will see a clear acetate with something printed on it. That is a cheat sheet of the comm plan.

- Different types of radios are capable of different radio bands. Most of what you hear in GK is all VHF (ground plane) band radio traffic. The vehicle radios and the handheld ones do VHF. Different groups have different "freqs" (pronounced like freaks) or frequencies that they use. Just like the FM radio in your car, you can tune into different radio stations by changing the frequency. Bravo 1 is on 95.7 Hot Country....and Bravo 2 is on 103.3 Smooth Jazz. You are always switching between the different freqs to talk to who you are supposed to be talking to. So, my personal radio may be set to be on Bravo 1's channel, but the vehicle may be set to Bravo 3 and then another guy may have his set to the Alpha channel. Just like setting the presets in your car, you can do that on these radios as well...so you can quickly switch between them.

The reason you also hear pilots in some of them is that some radios are UHF (line of sight) band to talk to pilots. The small handheld radios were both VHF and UHF radios so we could do things like call for fire missions and give the pilots our 9 lines.

Com plans utilize multiple channels across different spectrums (HF, VHF, UHF, Satellite) and many types of radios that have different spectrum capabilities.

Dude, have you never played with walkie-talkies as a kid...hahaha. You know someone is talking on your freq because you hear them. Only one person can talk at a time on any radio channel. You can only be "tuned" to a single frequency at a time. There is a very rigid etiquette when using radios to keep things clear and efficient.

We switched from the 77's to the AN/PRC-135 in 2002 (1st Recon Bn).

The 135's would do HF freq hopping, auto antenna tuning, and directly take crypto fills. But, the best part was they had a detachable face with an extension cord; so you could seal up the radio in your ruck (waterproofing and all). Then you would have the radio face in your front deuce gear to control the radio if you needed to switch freqs or something.

Edit: I just realized that I was talking about the 104's not the 77's. Yeah, late 90's the 77's were replaced by 119's.

beanies/uniforms

- Part of it is real (the black beanie's) and the rest is done by David Simon. The real part is that we all wore black beanies. It wasn't breaking any rules as they were allowed, but most other units frowned on wearing them unless in private. We did all wear them everywhere and it kind of became a “thing” that the recon guys are the ones in beanies.

The David Simon/ Ed Burns part is the rest of the scene. I think they were trying to explain to the audience who Recon Marines were and used Trombley/Espera to do that. It was a wise choice as neither Trombley nor Espera were Recon Marines at that point…which he mentions in that scene.

It followed the PT uniforms we wore also. The Marine Corps wears “green on green” shirt/shorts. Recon’s official PT uniform is “black on black”…so if you see guys PTing in black you know they are Recon Bubbas.

officers in Recon

- A little late to the party, but there is no such thing as a recon officer. The "Reconnaissance Man" MOS is 0321 and is only for enlisted marines. Godfather was not a recon marine...no officers are.

1st Recon is comprised of many that are not recon marines; support personnel like motor T, communications, navy corpsmen, intel, etc. Officers that are platoon/ company/ battalion commanders are typically Intelligence or Infantry officers.

- Q: Not trying to correct you as you were there, I definitely wasn't... but Fick mentioned he went through BRC in his book. I guess maybe some officers go thru BRC but retain their MOS whether infantry/intel/whatever?

A: Rarely, some officers do go through BRC/ARS; but even if they do they still never are recon marines and are never in a recon team.

- Platoon commanders for Recon are kind of in the rear with the gear...they don't go out with teams. They typically command a ROC (Recon Operation Center) and provide support and are a liaison between the team and higher-ups. They feed the teams direction (via radio comms) and take intel and generate reports (again via radio comms)...but they aren't with the teams.

Humvees

- Q: If I may ask...were you guys ever told why you weren't given closed-top humvees (except of course the lead vehicle).

A: Because we didnt' have them. The HMMWV's we got were Army surplus ones we scavenged.

- You don't go to war with what you want, you go with what you have. Everything has to be adapted on the fly...which is what happened. Everything in war is a calculated risk with a margin for "acceptable losses". Were we lucky? Sure.

MREs

- Q: In ep 5, when Ray is making MRE cookies, would that actually work? If so, how good could those actually be?

A: Yes it actually works. The sugar will melt and crystalize in the creamer which makes it solid and like a cookie. When you haven't eaten anything other than MREs for months straight they are good.

PS2: Ray seems like a good guy to have drinks with in a bar.

I agree...but I am a little biased.

- Point of clarification: These aren't really MRE's, they are just components of an MRE that can come in different MREs.

Personally my favorite MRE was the Beef Stew. It came with a pouch of Beef Stew, Jalapeno Cheese, pack of two crackers, and something like Skittles. It also came with a little packet with things like Folgers Crystals Coffee packets, creamer, salt/pepper, wet wipe, etc.

There were 24 different MREs in a 12 pack "A" or "B" case. Each had a different main meal and then accessory packets that included things like Peanut Butter, Regular Cheese, Jalapeno Cheese, Crackers, "Bread Slice", Charms, Skittles, Lorna Doone Cookies, M&M Cookies ("Cookies with Pan Coated Chocolate Disks"), Nature Valley Granola Bar, Strawberry Milkshake, Pound cake, Hot Cocoa Mix, etc, etc, etc.

The GK time generation of MREs were fairly new at the time and included new meals like "Bean Burrito", "Cheese Burger", etc. There were quite a few that were in the previous generation like "Beef Stew" and "Minestrone Soup". Probably the absolute worst one was "Pork Slice in Jamaican Style Sauce".

- It was a common tradition in Brad and my old platoon to stash fun things to share amongst the team at fun times. Like when your team is all wet and cold and hasnt really slept for weeks then you bust something fun out to share…it is a great pick-me-up. My favorite thing to do were king size snickers bars.

Humvee arrangement / Reporter

- Q: Who sat in the passenger side rear seat before the reporter came along?

A: No one. We determined who was in what vehicle right before the invasion..so we knew we had to fit Evan in somewhere. He really wanted to be with Brad and me...so there he went.

- Q: Why?

A: Because we're awesome. Honestly it was because he was told we would be the go-to team (because of Brad and me) for any special fun missions and he didn't want to miss out on those. That and I think he liked our dynamic as "characters".

- Short answer is because that is where he chose to be. For this war the US did something interesting in allowing for journalists to be embedded with the military units for the invasion. There were a ton of journalists that came and got a briefing on different unit types so the journalists could pick where they wanted to be. There were three journalists that after hearing what Recon was and that we would be a combat unit (so you may get shot at if you go with them) picked to be embedded with 1st Recon.

The three journalists then came to where we were staged in Kuwait and met with the BN Commander (Godfather) and were then briefed more specifically on who we were and what our role would be during the invasion. After that briefing two of the three journalists decided they didn't want to kick it with us...pussies. I do remember one of them was some guy with Men's Journal.

Evan then started hanging around us and learned that our team would likely see the most action and be at the front the most...so that is where he wanted to be. After a few nights in the tents hanging out with us he decided that he wanted to be in our vehicle as he liked our "characters" for his story.

Evan, in retrospect, would frequently say he's not sure whether he was more brave or stupid/naive to embed with us for the invasion. After each firefight/ambush he would say that he was going to leave...then we would tell him to stop being a huge pussy...so he kept going.

Zeus attack

- Q: Was Trombley actually just sitting there observing like he did in the film? [note: about Zeus attack]

A: Yes and no. Lots of people were kind of looking. I was the one that jumped up and observed the gun firing to find its location. I then called Walt up to the MK-19 to walk him in on target while calling in CAS via rotary wing at the same time. I got a Navy Achievement Metal with Combat V for that action. Interesting the series got it wrong on that.

explosion of Rudy's stove

- I didn't set my face on fire, Rudy set my face on fire…hahaha. That was all healed in just a few weeks like it never happened…I heal fast. It is a common joke amongst my friends that i am Wolverine because of my rapid healing.

- Rudy was heating water for coffee. It didn't explode. To use diesel fuel in those stoves we would preheat the fuel tube with a hexamite tab. Hexamite tabs turn to gel when they burn. Rudy was carrying the stove outside and some diesel on the outside of the stove caught fire in his hands. He then dropped it and the hexamite splattered off it all over my face. Burning gel all over my face

Captain America's name

- Yeah. A little into the invasion he went running into these mud huts with a fixed bayonet. I was sitting in my HMMWV with my team watching him run in and made the comment “This guy thinks he is Captain America!” We all started calling him that afterwards. To not embarrass the guy publicly they used it in the book and film instead of his real name.

invasion

- Q: Given the might of US military and Nato forces, could the invasion have been planned better? Maybe take more time to get there instead of the confusion and rush?

A: There was a plan and it worked pretty well. Our unit was only one small part of a much larger machine so you don't get to see the overarching thinking behind the entire invasion, you just see a tiny tiny part of it. Two quips that sum it up nicely are "Speed is far more effective than a plan" and "Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face"

- Q: Why weren't tanks and armor part of your group specially when entering hostile town?

A: Because they were needed elsewhere and we were essentially probing the battlefield so the commanders would know where best to direct the invading force...including armored units.

Recon training/conditions of OIF

-Q: How do you cope with the constant dangers and lack of sleep, food and hygiene. Most people would operate at lower levels under these circumstances and make mistakes. Was there something you guys did that made things better?

A: You fight how you train. We were used to little sleep, food, and hygiene because that is how we always trained. So, when it came to war we were already very comfortable and used to operating in that condition. Same shit, different day.

- All Recon Marines have the same MOS...0321. There are team roles such as Pointman, Navigator, Slackman, RTO, Assistant RTO, Assistant Team Leader, and Team Leader. Every Recon Marine is expected to have held each role to be well rounded. You may be the RTO in one team and then a Navigator in another.

All Marines (not just Recon Marines) are marksman and have to qualify just the same. This is independent of their MOS. Every Marine is a Rifleman.

Nearly all Recon Marines have gone through Sniper School...this is nothing super special.

- Q: Though I did do underwater football with a few of the Recon guys for PT a few times. That was a pretty brutal game. Put a plastic chair in either side of the deep end of the pool (12'+ at Flores) and put an underwater weight between the chairs in the middle of the pool. Line up 5 guys on either side. Dive in on the mark and try to get the weight into the seat of the chair opposite of your side. Tap if you need air, usually you get released pretty quickly... After a second or two. And that was about the only rule. Underwater everything was game. Grabbing, choking, ripping off masks...and it was a brutal workout. You'd be sucking wind after a few goals.

A: When I was in we played a lot of "Underwater Soccer" which is basically the same thing just without the chairs. Two team on either side of the pool and a weight (either a 25lb bar weight or dumbbell) in the middle on the bottom. Your team gets a point when you touch the opposing teams wall with the weight in hand.

The other game I used to love was the "Whistle Game." In this game a metal whistle was thrown into the middle of the pool. It was every man for himself. You had to grab the whistle from the bottom of the pool and rise to the surface and successfully blow it. If you did then you got to get out of the pool. Everyone else keeps going. It was one of the "Pays to be a winner" games.

- Another fun side note: We used to play a game called "Tap-Out Pass-Out" in which we would ground fight (think Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu) and the only rules were no eye gouging. The game was only over when someone would pass out or tap out. While Rudy is/was an amazing standing fighter, he wasn't great on the ground. I am very good on the ground and would always beat him, much to Rudy's chagrin. Because of that Rudy began to diligently practice and improve his ground fighting, so I don't know if you should mess with him on the ground now.

Ripped Fuel

- Q: Ray, how much Ripped Fuel have you had?

A: Believe it or not I only had 2 the entire time. Two were issued to each marine as part of a med kit. The rest was just swallowing Folgers Coffee Crystals that came in the MREs.

First Recon

- Former B Co, 1st Recon Bn 0321 (1999-2003) checking in. 1st Recon was a Battalion in 1990? It was a Company when I first got there (I was in 2nd Platoon - 1st Recon Co)...then it changed into a Battalion a year or two later.

Afghanistan / Ray's Marine Corps career

- Question: Were you on this float? What did you do before joining 1st recon? Did you go to Afghanistan?

Answer: Yes. I was a pipeliner, so I was always always at 1st. I did go to Afghanistan. I was in 1st Recon Company, 2nd platoon on this float. It is the same platoon as Brad Colbert but I was in a different team.

- You can petition to "try out" for recon. If you pass a screening (run by Recon Marines) then you typically go to a "RIP" platoon (Recon Indoctrination Platoon or something like that) to be weeded out if you aren't able to hang. From there you go to a Recon MOS producing school (ARS or BRC) and if you pass that course then you become a "Roper" until you pass the unit Indoc. It isn't just jump right in.

- Q: I guess that means you went fleet grunt first then tested into recon yeah?

I enlisted 03XX then got 0311 out of SOI, then was picked up by recon at the graduation of SOI.

A: I am a fellow pipeliner. When i went in, 0321 was a secondary MOS (circa 2000)…so I was an 0311 with the secondary of 0321.

- Q: What year did you graduate boot camp? Company? Platoon?

A: January 2000, San Diego, Mike Co., Plt 3014

- Q: The 9/11 attacks solidified my choice in enlisting. At the time, I was a Sophomore in HS. 3rd period Geometry. Where were you?

A: Sitting in a pub in Darwin Australia (it was night time there) on libo. Shore Patrol comes running into the pub screaming for everyone to get back to ship (15th MEU on the USS Dubuque). Get back to ship just in time to see the second tower fall on tv. Go to drunken sleep as we set sail for Pakistan (Bravo Platoon, 1st Recon Company).

- He [note: Ray talking about himself] picked up Sgt. before he got out through. Fellow B Co 1st Recon alum. Yut Yut.

characters/people career background

- First Recon Bn is not just Recon Marines...it includes all the support personnel that are needed for a unit as well; like Armorers, Motor T, Intel, Supply, Communications, Admin, etc.

Jeff wasn't a Recon Marine; his MOS was Motor T. He was a Motor T Marine assigned to First Recon. We loved Jeff because he was super pessimistic and hateful. When Darnold was shot and medevac'd out, Jeff filled the vacancy in Kocher's team.

- Capt. Eric Dill was our Recon Platoon Commander during Afghanistan and can be seen in Part-8 @ 11:42. His/my platoon is the one that he handed over to Fick after we got back stateside.

- One thing to note is that Fick wasn't with Recon during Afghanistan...he was an Infantry Platoon commander. Afghanistan is where Fick became buddies with our current Recon Platoon commander, Eric Dill. Dill convinced Fick to come over to 1st Recon after getting back from Afghanistan. This is also where we "found" Garza, Leon, etc and convinced them to come over from the infantry to become Recon Marines.

- The first casualty was Darnold in Eric Kocher's team. He was shot in the forearm when we drove through an ambush. This is the scene where Walt was possibly tangled in the electrical wires and I believe it shows a HMMWV monster-trucking a car. Dirty Earl (Jeff Carizalez) then took over for Darnold in Eric's team.

paddles

- Paddles aren't just a Recon thing...they are generally a boat team thing...which Recon guys are amongst. Honestly, it varies as to who would get one. Some think that only other Recon Marines should get them...others think that support guys should too.

Typically the size of the paddle matters. The bigger the paddle the more senior/experience/loved the guy was. When I was in the small novelty paddles were for thank-you's to folks. Regular 4 foot paddles were for solid Recon Marines that were liked. Large 6 foot paddles were reserved for guys that had been there a while and were exceptional.

GK production

- David Simon (the guy that did Gen Kill) was really the instrumental piece to making it what it was. Early on HBO was going to have someone else do it...and it was straight up fucking Michael Bay style. David wanted real Marines to be able to watch the series and see not a single thing wrong with it; from the dialog, equipment/uniforms, actor body types, mannerisms, etc. He gave us a hell of a ton of leeway to just "be ourselves" so he could have that in the series.

I got involved early on when they were working on the scripts to make sure the slang and jargon added was Marine Corps specific and current. Even the radio chatter in all scenes was written by real Marines...all the pilot sides of radio chatter (like when calling CAS) was recorded by a real FAC.

All the actors were put through a two week "How to be a Marine" course. From how to wear their uniforms, how to carry their weapons, hazing motivational physical exercises, etc. One of the biggest problems was all the actors wanting to do exactly what Rudy Reyes did on set; and Rudy lives in a comic book so it wasn't all exactly accurate.

In one of the episodes, the Oscar Award winning Director (different episodes had different directors) was going to have guys flying when shot like you see in the typical movies. After the Marines on set (Eric Kocher and Jeff Carizalez) told her that was not real and she did it anyways; Eric and Jeff started just making comments like "This episode is going to fail fucking miserably", "Wow, this episode is going to suck balls", "This is the worst fucking thing I have ever seen"...as you already noticed, those scenes were redone.

float tapes

- About the Float Tapes: OMG!...these videos are gold. Watching through them now. I have already seen Gabe Garza (Part-3 @ 1:04 far right) Tony Espera (Part-3 @ 7:50) as they were both with that infantry unit at the time.

- I had never seen these so it is fun to relive this float. In Part 4 when they are doing the "Steel Beach Party" he has a part where he films guys playing hacky-sack with "Black Shirts = Cool AF" on screen. The black shirts are Recon guys (everyone else has to wear green). In that shot are Eric Kocher (in the green flight suit) and Larry Shawn Patrick (tall guy with sunglasses on) along with some other brothers. There were 22 Recon guys total on that float in 4 teams. I haven't seen me or anyone from my team in the videos yet.

- Part 36 @ 3:17 is Rudy Reyes, a guy i forgot his name right now in the SERE shirt, the blond guy to his right (James Klepel /was on my team), and the guy that walks in behind Espera (Luke Meister / also on my team).

Real Evan Wright intel (twitter) about GK

camera

- Reporter's camera was a Leica m6 50mm, analogue (film, not digital)

Manimal

- Anthony "Manimal" Jacks usually wore his teeth and was a serious person who spoke to me a lot about his family & his concerns about doing right, if we crossed the border. Being "Manimal" was sort of a character he played to amuse people

MRE crates

- As is clear in this photo, Holsey, too, could scarcely contain his joy that I was taking his picture. Note: he's seated on an MRE crate. Those are like general propose chairs and tables in the field, like "apple boxes" in the film industry.

[dani-says-stuff]

Chernobyl

❥ Back to the Control Center

❥ Nate Hardy Masterlist

-Note: The words Baba and Babushka mean the same thing and are interchangeable

-Note: I didnt feel like embarrassing myself with my horrible spelling and grammar, so, the Baba's words will all be pre-translated and coming through Misha in English If my grandma knew how much I had to use google translate before I made this decision she'd smack me upside the head istg..

━─━────༺✧༻────━─━

Nate Hardy x fem!reader

Summary: Based on this request

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: sensitive topics, talk about the real events and lives of those who experienced the event, alcohol, inconsistent capitalization, my usual grammar warning

Not so much of a warning and definitely more of a heads up, this fic actually doesn’t have a lot of substance to it somehow? like somehow i managed to write 1.6k for absolute nonsense. for example, somehow, i managed to get like zero Nate scenes and neither him or Sam end up talking at all… basically huge apologies to the anon who requested this, i really struggled with this fic for some reason and i feel like it shows…

Dialogue Key:

Y/N

Colby

Misha

━─━────༺✧༻────━─━

It had to be one of the top experiences of your entire life thus far, and it would probably stay there for the rest of your life.

For as long as you knew the boys, this is what you all had been talking about. This was the big exploration you all had dreamed about for years, and you were finally here.

The four of you were in Ukraine, exploring Chernobyl.

As much as you had wanted to go, you'd pretty much expected that this bucket list item would have to remain undone. Yet here you were with your boyfriend and your best friends... to say it was surreal had to be an understatement.

You were able to experience the place on a personal level. You were no longer just viewing the place through photographs and video, but you were here. You were walking the streets, touching the trees, seeing everything. 

Your tour guide and translator, Misha, took you through the city he used to call home. He helped share with you the story of what had happened here from the mouths of the locals. He shared several stories and several locations that allowed you to fully understand not only the location but the people who lived there. A glimpse of the lives lived, lost, and left behind.

Your group first made their way to a science lab that was created from an abandoned house in the exclusion zone. Here, the four of you were able to talk to a scientist who was researching radiation and get a more detailed explanation of what had happened here. 

You all drove through the red forest area, one of the most contaminated areas in all of the exclusion zone. 

You were able to go to Pripyat and explore the famous city. The very location where some of the most famous pictures were taken, and you were there. 

You had been able to meet Vladimir, one of Misha's friends and a worker within the exclusion zone, who was willing to talk to you all about his experiences and how he felt after. He brought you to his old home, told you about his family, and explained what the town had been like- it was insane to hear the entire situation from the perspective of someone who was there. 

Of course, when reading about the situation, you are able to feel sympathetic and you able to understand that the situation was horrible.

However, there is something about hearing the story from a human's perspective, removed from the facts and removed from the overall objectivity of the story, just the pure feeling and experience of someone there... it just adds so much gravity to the situation, so much emotion and respect for those who lived through something like this. 

You walked through what was left of the abandoned restaurants, supermarkets, and hotels. Seeing the ruble and miscellaneous items left behind, scattered along the ground and placed among exposed brick. 

You saw the Ferris wheel in real life. Walking through an old amusement park, one which used to be filled with laughter and children running around, left in silence with not a soul to be seen. 

You went inside one of the reactors-- the one that might as well be a mirror image of the very one that the explosion occurred in. Here, you all got an even clearer explanation of what happened on a mechanical level. The theory explained to your group, was that everything done by the workers theoretically should have worked, it all came down to metal tubing warping out of shape from the extreme heat released.  

You were even able to enter control room 3, the room where the button that would lead to this catastrophic chain of events, was pushed that fateful day. 

You entered an old kindergarten, an old stadium, and a hospital used for those who were first affected by the radiation. All of which, are almost completely overtaken by the elements. Trees, bushes, and vines overtake the areas.

You were able to enter Duga Station, a military base and a lesser-known location. The area was bathed in conspiracy. documents explaining what the building was for were almost all destroyed or archived, the building was hidden on all maps, and the soviet union itself denied its existence. All of which, aid in allowing any story or explanation of the place to run wild. Things like mind control and spy headquarters, even a conspiracy that Chernobyl was a cover-up for what was happening there. 

Lastly, you all went to visit one of the last remaining villages on the outer edge of the city. Allowing you all to talk with some of the babushkas who came back to their homes, and are currently living there together. 

━─━────༺✧༻────━─━

The car pulled up to an area blocked off by a high fence, only allowing you to see the tops of a few roofs that lay behind it. Misha walks the four of you up the small worn driveway and through the gate where you meet the first Baba, Babushka Marusya. She was an adorable old woman, dressed in vibrant purples. 

After the woman speaks, Misha turns to you all, translating her words to English, "She just finished with homemade french fries for us."

 Your heart melted, "Aw, thank you so much!" 

"Ah, she says not to worry about it" Misha translated with a bright smile, "She says she plans to spoil you kids during your visit" 

That made your heart melt even further. 

Colby turns around to talk to your small group while Misha and Babushka Marusya spoke in Ukrainian, "Just tiny old ladies, full of joy"  

Add that to the list of times that Colby Brock jinxed himself on camera. 

Not a second later Misha turns to face Colby, looking as if he was trying his best not to laugh, "You are too attractive, she says you look like a girl" You slap your hand against your mouth to keep your laughter in as well. 

The boy's arms curled in on himself, cheeks flushing pink in both embarrassment and laughter as his friends divulged into hysterics around him, "It's the long sleeve isn't it" he pouted, a call back to earlier in the day, "It's the bright blue highlighter shirt isn't it?"

You placed a hand on his shoulder rubbing it in faux sympathy, "Aw, it's ok Colby" You leaned forward, head resting against his arm, "You're the pwettiest girl I know."

His face clouded, annoyance crossing his features. "Mhm, yeah, thanks Y/N. I really appreciate that." he deadpanned, shoving you off his shoulder. A small smile crawled up the sides of his lips at his three friends' continued laughter. 

Within a few minutes, Misha and Baba Marusya had a full spread ready for you all on a picnic table outside. Everything adorning the table, including the moonshine, was made by her from her own property. 

As good as all of the food was, part of you couldn't wait for the car ride afterward. Misha kept refilling the boy's shot glasses, and they kept drinking them.

By the time you all would load back into the car, you were certain they'd be absolutely shitfaced.

Not you though. Not because you were better at holding your alcohol, but because every time your shot glass was refilled, you drank about half and then pawned it off to Nate.

This meant, your boyfriend was having double the shots of pure, homemade, moonshine, that the boys were having and you were having about half what they were. 

You would be the most sober and camera ready for any stupid shit, he was bound to say.

Ah yes, soon you would be armed with an arsenal of material to pawn off for his embarrassment.

You were an amazing girlfriend. 

Baba Marusya saw through your plan immediately. Maybe she didn't quite understand the goal of filming him later, but she definitely got what you were doing. That much became obvious when she came around to refill your glass, she placed it a little closer to him than to you, giving you a subtle wink as she walked away.

━─━────༺✧༻────━─━ 

After you ate—and helped clean the table despite the baba's insistence that you didn't have to—you all filed into the home to speak with both her and Baba Hanna. 

They spoke to you of their lives. They talked to you about how they lived before the accident and their families. They told you stories and sang you songs of their younger years, it was both heartwarming and devastating to hear it from them. To see the joy, but also the pain they experienced when speaking of what used to be. 

You found yourself hugging Babushka Marusya about halfway through her speech talking about her family and loneliness here, of course, you asked permission through Misha first, but you felt as though you had to. You weren't one of her children and you knew she had just met you, but you hoped that somehow something as simple as a hug could give her some sort of comfort. 

It made you feel kind of stupid when you began to tear up in her embrace. Here this woman was, talking about how sad she was here and how much she misses her family, strong and not a waiver in her voice, and you were on the verge of breaking down. It only made it worse when she noticed your tears and began to your back, turning to try and comfort you. 

She was experiencing all of these things, all of these sad feelings, and all of these broken memories, but she remained a sweet woman above it all. 

It was inspiring, you knew that you would never forget this experience for as long as you live. 

[quixot1sm]

can you. talk about nate hilbertverse

yes GOD this poor guy.

first off: nate is hilbert's little brother- 6 years his junior. he'd always looked up to hilbert as a role model, idolizing him especially after his ascension to hero of ideals. keep in mind that nate was only 10 when bw happened, so his understanding of the situation was surface-level and admittedly naïve. even when hilbert had been hospitalized for his injuries, he'd put on a brave face for nate, so the latter didn't grasp the severity of what happened/was happening.... it wouldn't be until later that the reality of how scary this was would sink in.

freshly 11 yrs old when hilbert left unova, nate was then sent off to aspertia to live with the other half of the family (hilda, rosa, and their mom) so he could enroll in cheren's trainer's school with rosa and earn his permit. the idea was also a way to provide him with a distraction from hilbert's absence since nate was a lonely kid... but anyway, this permit allowed them to participate in the junior division of the pokemon league challenge, meaning if either of them won, they'd be a champion in name only. that didnt happen but i'll get to why in a second.

when he was 12, despite setting out with the intention of collecting gym badges, hugh and nate quickly veered off course when team neo-plasma began showing its face around the region, urging the two of them to give chase in a bid to get some answers out of them. in the process, nate came across and befriended keldeo, and then, upon meeting colress, was dubbed something akin to his protégé.

this of course all came to a head in giant chasm. there... something happened that left nate almost a completely different person. not only had he been told, to his face, that his big brother was gone for good, but his right arm was caught in the line of kyurem's glaciate.

like his brother before him, nate was then hospitalized for a considerable amount of time, and like theyd done for his brother before him, interpol came swooping in make use of nate at his lowest. because, technically, hilbert had been working with them when he disappeared, so they had to take some accountability in his case... and what better way that to employ his little brother, i guess.

before his journey, nate was a sweet, excitable kid, although he struggled with tone. afterwards... it's like he struggles to recognize any emotion at all. he's blunt, does not have time for distractions, he gets unreal tunnel vision and dedicates years working on tying up loose ends regarding hilbert- such as the whereabouts of the dark stone and anything he might have left behind that nate can bring back home... rosa thinks its a pointless obsession and would rather forget about it all, and this resulted in a fight that drove a wedge between the two of them. :(

this was supposed to be a brief summary and its already gotten this long LOL... i had to skip over some details that i'll revisit in other posts later. like n's zorua. theres a lot going on with a lot of the hilbertverse cast and nate is no exception.

some more trivia, though:

reshiram would have accepted him as a hero of truth if he'd agreed to it... but hes very different from n. his pursuit of truth is one devoid of idealism- he has no hope, no optimism, he only wants to get the facts to provide some sense of closure.

his full name is nathaniel tobias black. do not ever call him this

his birthday is may 4

he has two shinies, those being his emboar and his galvantula. lucky bastard

we really dont know what gender his emboar is? most just assume its a male, but it responds to whatever. really it does what it wants. its name is samson and its parents are bianca and hilda's emboars.

his prosthetic arm was designed and built by colress. the guy likes to think of himself as nate's mentor, even though he's one of the main factors behind why nate's even going through what he is in the first place...

and finally, although it's currently only 3 songs long, heres his playlist!

[nedsseveredhead]

Ned Im on my hands and knees tell me everything about Rena

CRIES NATE I LOVE YOU....

Okay disclaimer first Rena is sooooo self indulgent like. Deeply mary sue oc that i have stuck into canon events because im already cringe enough to make a one piece oc i might as well go all out on it. I deeply deeply hope this doesnt show up in any actual op tags but if it does i Apologize please just scroll by fjdnxnx

OKAY SO DONQUIXOTE RENA.... Is the daughter of Rosinante and a different less important oc named Seraphima. Rosi is the brother of a major one piece villain named Doflamingo. Theres like a whole arc i wont get into cause its not important for this mess but Doflamingo killed their father like. Right infront of Rosi when they were kids. Rosi ran away and was found by the Fleet Admiral of the marines, Sengoku. Sengoku raised Rosi like a son. Later on when Rosi is older he is sent on an undercover mission to take down his brother. During that he finds the young traumatized character Law, redirects all his energy into saving and protecting him. Which he does but Doflamingo kills him for it.

SO WITH THAT BRIEF RUNDOWN OUTTA THE WAY. Rosi left on his mission to take down Doflamingo shortly after Rena was born. This was to be his last job as a marine, then hed retire and raise his daughter with his wife and all would be great. Obviously this did not happen. However, Doflamingo didnt know Rosi had a family- if he did he probably would have hunted them down and killed them too. So to prevent this, Renas mom changed their last name to hers and enlisted Rena into the marines so she could be on the "good" side. She became Sengokus like.. right hand, being his basically granddaughter and all. And she was a prodigal shot too. She rose through ranks and made a name for herself pretty fast.

But she was very conflicted about the whole thing. She knew of her father, probably wrote to him or spoke to him on the phone (the snail???). But she never met him. The first time she ever actually saw him in flesh was his funeral. And yes Doflamingo did that, and she deeply hates him for it. But also.... Who the hell sends a new father on a mission like that? She cant help but feel that its the marines fault she never got to meet him. Just as much as its Doffys. And that feeling only intensified when Doflamingo was welcomed under the Marines wing as a warlord, and she just had to sit silently and accept that. Over the years too, since she was always by the fleet admirals side, she heard a lot more of the marines less heroic dealings. Like defending slavers in Sabaody (which is also the first she ever really started to look at Kidd and Killer hehehe). All of this culminated in the war at Marineford, where she just couldnt accept this absolutely useless war where marines were slaughtering a man who just wanted his son back. So when Shanks showed up to stop it, she approached him and offered anything she could give to just have a lift to the next island. Shanks loves raggedy ass kids so he was like lol yeah and smuggled her outta Marineford. Thus she gained her first poster, not a wanted poster at all but a missing poster for Vulpes Rena. She hated it.

Anyway Shanks drops her off in the new world. Hes nice and all but he has no room for a newbie ex marine on his crew. Good luck kid! But that's fine, Rena had her eyes on joining the Heart Pirates, captained by Law. She recognized the name from some reports she found in Sengokus desk from her father. So she knows he has some kind connection, and she wants to know what it is. By some divine providence she does end up finding him, and convinces his first mate (my friends oc lol) to take her to him to talk. Law accepts her as soon as he finds out shes Rosis kid. Feels he owes it to her, since he kinda led to her dad dying and all.

The two end up with a sibling like relationship. Like refer to eachother as brother and sister, since Rosi was definitely adopting Law if all had gone according to plan. When Law leaves to face down Doflamingo, Rena follows because god damn it you are NOT telling her she cant get a punch in on the man who shot her dad. And she does get a shot in!!! And then promptly gets her ass handed to her cause like girl lmao. Still. Bonding time for her and Law lmao. Luffy eventually defeats Doffy and afterwards she takes her (Rosis) last name back. Shes Donquixote Rena, thank you very much!

In Wano her mission was to keep an eye on Basil and figute out what he was doing and thats when she met Killer officially ooooOooOOoooOo. Tbh im still working on that part in my official canon but idk they make out, get arrested, meet back up with Kidd, make out again. Etc

Lets see other Rena facts...

- She is so fucking clumsy. She inherited it from Rosi. Her crew makes her keep a life ring with her on deck cause she constantly topples over the edge and cant swim

- Shes a devil fruit user!! The Calm Calm fruit (also Rosis lmaooo) which means she can make anything in a radius around her or anything she touches completely soundless. Been trying to work out an Awakened version of it cause shes due for a powerup but cjdnd

- Shes a marksman/sniper! She has on her person at all times atleast two pistols, and will usually have her rifle "Silent Night"

- She eventually joins the Kidd Pirates to be with Killer (and Kidd) and is their ship doctor (she picked up a few things from Law and well... They cant do much worse)

- She loves pop music its so embarassing

- I gave her my fear of albatrosses. Get wrecked pirate girl

- she has a playlist but its a huuuuge work in progress lmao

UHM THATS ALL I CAN THINK OF RN.... If i ever find an oc ask thingy ill rb it and fill it out for her lmao but heres this for now thank you i love you

[chaoscriess]

May I request “218. I think I might be falling in love with you.” With Cassie Howard x reader please?

absolutely!!!!

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒! 218.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒! kissing, pda, cussing, kinda angsty?

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒! on mobile, format might be weird. lowercase intended, unedited, double periods intended. kinda really bad but shh we dont talk abt that

cassie howard x gn!reader

you and cassie didnt really talk to each other

you had run into her a couple times at school, bumped into her at a couple parties

but other than that, you never really talked to her

except for when you were younger

you and cassie were best friends, inseparable.

and you were in love with her

every second of every day, you were in love with cassie howard.

every hour, ever day, every week, and every month of every year.

until tenth grade.

cassie started hanging out with different people, started standing you up when she was supposed to come to your house after school

slowly but surely, she was leaving you.

you were never together in the first place, but you never thought she would leave you

but she did

you barely talked anymore, but you always made eye contact in the hallways

a feeling deep inside of you made you think she still cared for you, still wanted to be your friend

but she wasnt, so you wouldn't give her the time of day.

you started hanging out with a bad crowd, doing drugs and getting into trouble

cassie hated it but she thought she couldn't stop you, so she never tried.

one day, you sat next to her at a party and she started talking to you, trying to catch up with you

you had a feeling she was trying to make up for leaving you

you didnt care.

soon, she started talking about nate, how much she loved him, how much he loved her

only, you knew he didnt. you knew what real love felt like, and that wasnt real love that nate felt.

you hoped she wasn't actually in love with him

you wanted her to love 𝘺𝘰𝘶, not nate

it wasnt fair.

it wasnt fucking fair.

you didn't ever want to admit it, but you still loved the girl

and part of you wanted to tell her that.

but you never did.

instead, you got blackout drunk with her at every party over the course of four months, and that was enough.

but one night, at a pre-graduation party, when you both were very, very drunk, you and cassie had sex.

she didnt remember it.

or at least that's what you told yourself.. and what she told you..

the morning after, you woke up next to her in your underwear, and you somehow still remembered what happened.

so when she woke up, you asked her if anything happened the night before, as a way to see if she remembered it

she said she didnt think anything happened

you were upset, but didnt say anything. the more you thought about it, the more thankful you were that she forgot.

a couple days later, you finally graduated

but.. you didnt show up to graduation, you were getting high with your friends instead

cassie was worried, to say the least. really, really worried.

you see, over the four months before you two hooked up, you and cassie got close again, whether you liked it or not

you were hesitant, but cassie made you feel better about it, telling you that she wanted to go back to you every day that she wasnt around you

but she finally realized something, and she needed to tell you.

cassie tried looking for you after graduation. eventually, she ran into one of your friends at a liquor store. she asked where you were, they told her. when she saw you, she ran to you as fast as she could, because somewhere between looking for you at graduation and seeing you on the side of the road, high as a kite, she realized something. she felt differently about you. something was different. she knew you loved her, you told her at the end of ninth grade. she never told you, but that's the reason she left you. she couldn't be around you knowing she was hurting you by not loving you back. she hoped that leaving you would make you lose feelings, but she quickly realized it never did.

she ran up to you, embracing you in a tight hug. she never wanted to let you go, but you pushed her away. "fuck off, cassandra." shit, you were really mad, huh? you never called her cassandra, never in the 13 years you knew her. you met in pre-school, and you never once called her cassandra, not even when you were screaming at her about how much of a bitch she was. she sighed and backed away. "I know you're still in love with me, y/n."

it felt like your heart stopped beating, like the earth stopped moving all at once, like there was no more air left. she knew. your life was practically over. you looked at her with wide eyes, waiting for her to speak again. "and.. 𝗜 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗜 𝗺𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂 too."

[themichaelvan]

why nearly every character in all of the fnaf musicals are insane in distinctly different but still very much insane ways: an essay

(this is like 80% from memory and its. checks time 2:15am as of writing this so excuse inaccuracies.)

mark: oh my god starting off with a bang, are we? okay okay. he was there for ONE NIGHT. one. one night. he spent like basically all of it crying in the corner because of puppets. theyre puppets. freddy is literally punted across the room on multiple occasions YOU ARE A FULL GROWN ADULT MARK. "in all my dreams i see / a maze of halls with bloody walls / and countless scrawls reminding me "it's me!"" YOU WERE THERE FOR ONE NIGHT. he IMMEDIATELY decides that the solution to this is not 1) taking it up with his manager 2) just fucking quitting bUT INSTEAD THAT ITS 3) BRING A DUFFEL BAG FULL OF WEAPONS, INCLUDING SEVERAL KNIVES AND GUNS TO HIS WORKPLACE INTENDING TO KILL THE ANIMATRONICS YOU WERE HIRED TO PROTECT. AND THEN THE ONLY THING HE DID TO CHANGE HIS IDENTITY AFTER NEARLY KILLING A MAN AND GETTING CAUGHT WAS TO DYE HIS HAIR. he didnt even change his ADDRESS. dipshit. he acts all tough and crap afterward too like he spent 40 years in prison. he was reduced to literal actual tears by puppets. god i love him so much.

nate: sassed the man holding a knife to one of the animatroniocs he, AGAIN, was HIRED to PROTECT. drove the animatronics to a man they KNOW is willing to use guns to protect himself in the FIRST PLACE. also he just ??? fuckign Had bb on hand like. did they give him bb when he quit the first time?? like. okay. say you have to distract an easily distracted but immensely murderous animatronic and your first thought is "hmm what if i use that rc car that looks like a child from my old workplace". bitch if its been 7 years since i worked there and witnessed a traumatizing event im gonna bury that fucker at the bottom of my closet not just have it with me. also his first concern when he was faced with a very much "i am going to die" situation is that he hasnt caught up on a tv show yet???? nate buddy please i appreciate you but get some self-worth and some therapy while youre at it

aj: he was nearly killed by an animatronic as big as he was, stopped only by like a foot or smth, and then IMMEDIATELY accepted the transfer to ANOTHER place with animatronics in it like. why would you actively choose to keep working with fazbear entertainment. im sure literally any other company ever would look at aj "nearly killed two men because he wanted to work more hours" purple guy and hire him in a millisecond. SPEAKING OF WHICH, HE NEARLY KILLED TWO MEN BECAUSE HE WANTED TO WORK MORE HOURS. DO YOU NEED THE MONEY THAT BADLY OR DO YOU JUST REALLY FUCKING. WANT TO WORK AT FAZBEARS THAT MUCH. i honeslty cant decide which is worse. he also mocked the guy with a chainsaw who burst through the wall not ten minutes before??? who was also like 2 feet away from him???? what were you EXPECTING him to do??????????????????? give you more hours????????????????????????

phone guy: yeah.

mike: looked at the absolute flaming dumpster fire that was the lawsuits, filthy animatronics, extremely low budget, and EXTREMELY sketchy boss that was the new fazbears and said "yeah i can work with this." also i think he got killed by pan stan which is such a sad way to go my god. i dont have quite as much to say about him but i DO love him very much and he REALLY SHOULD HAVE gotten a better job.

lizzy: other than the fact she hasnt quit fazent yet (which is excusable considering it looks like shes looking into the sketchy stuff and is probably mostly there for mikes death), actually not that bad. props to her tbh if i had to deal with a boss like phone guy id go considerably more feral.

those police officers who showed up for like 2 scenes in the og fnaf musical: just fucking, like. let an actual murder perp ESCAPE because they Forgot To Lock The Car And Went To Go Get Food and then just. DIDNT REPORT IT. because this, apparently, is NOT the first time theyve let someone escape, and because theyd LOSE THEIR JOBS IF THEY REPORTED IT. if the police is THAT bad in this town no fucking wonder phone guy's gotten away with everything so far.

[sturnsbabie]

𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐋𝐄𝐎

PART ONE : MOVING IN

pairing: dad!nate x sls!reader

summary: in which nate and sls move into their first apartment together.

warnings: swearing,fluff,mentions of pregnancy, moody!sls,slight suggestive,smut.

sorry i got lazy with the smut but youll get a better smut scene in this series😘

today nate and i are moving into our first apartment together. i was so ready for this, us to be out on our own together with our boys.

i was four months pregnant now and showing a lot more now, the bump slightly bigger because of the fact theres twins.

nate and i were currently on the way to our apartment as our families were meeting us there to help us move everything in.

“how ya feeling princess?” nate asked as he had one hand on my belly and the other on the steering wheel.

“dont touch me.” i said glaring at him.

he removed his hand and chuckled. “okay sorry” he said.

pregnancy was weird one minute i was hating him them the next minute i wanted to be all over him.

but currently i didnt like him, or him touching me because i felt like i was fat and its the summertime so its hot. being pregnant in summertime is not fun especially when youre carrying two babies.

it was now awhile later and we were at our apartment moving things in. well the boys were moving everything in and i sat and unpacked it because i couldnt hardly lift anything being pregnant.

i was currently in the kitchen putting away the dishes and all the kitchen essentials we needed. we would go to the grocery store tomorrow to stock up on food.

after awhile i was now sat on our bed, the matress was in the floor because nate had to set the bedframe up still.i was taking a small break as my back started to hurt from standing too long.

nate walks into the room and i immediately flip him off as he just looked at me.

“cut the fucking attitude princess” he said looking at me as he sat down beside of me.

i giggled “damn daddy you gonna talk to me like that tonight?” i said.

he smirked “you bet i will princess.” he said looking at me.

he looked so damn good with that stupid smirk on his face, so i grabbed his face kissing him.

he was hovered over me as we were making out as his tounge was exploring my mouth. i had my hand in his sweats stroking him as he let out small groans into my mouth.

i pulled away from the kiss starting to kiss down his jawline and neck as i felt him starting to twitch in my hand as he was getting close.

“fuck baby im close. wanna fuck you real quick” he groaned as he slipped down his sweats a bit as he started to pull my shorts to the side.

he started to line himself up with my entrance but suddenly the door open and nate immediately threw the blanket over us.

“hey guys wanna go get food!” chris said oblivious to what he had walked on.

nate was pissed as i just edged him and we were now getting cockblocked by my damn brother.

.•°♡°•.

it was now later on in the evening and the boys just finished setting up our bedframe and putting our mattress on it.

we pretty much had our whole apartment already halfway set up except for the twins room. we had most of what we wanted to decorate their room with we just had to go get the furniture for their room.

i was laying on the couch eating my latest pregnancy craving which was pickles with hotsauce and crushed up hot cheetos.

it was weird because i hated pickles when i wasnt pregnant but now i absolutely love them.

it was crazy what pregnancy did to you. my moods would change so quick, and i would crave the strangest things. not mention how big my boobs were getting because my milk was coming in and how big my stomach was.

i was so lucky to have someone like nate helping me through this. he was my number 1 supporter, and so understanding when it comes to my mood swings.

if only first grade y/n knew that she was gonna have his babies one day. she always had the fattest crush on nate as a kid.

especially when he started to come around more because of her brothers. thats when it all started.

it was a little crush at first but when she turned 14 it started to develop more into her having feelings for him that soon turned into her falling in love with him.

it was one fall night in eighth grade that she couldn’t figure out her homework at all. she got frustrated so she went to her brothers room asking for help but nate grabbed it out of her hand and did it.

he didnt say anything but quickly get it done for her being so gentle patient and understanding with how overwhelmed it had made her.

thats how she realized it was more than just a little crush on her bestfriend. she realized that she was falling in love with him, slowly but surely.

nate and her have always been closer than she was with her brothers in ways. she would always tell nate EVERYTHING. he knew more secrets about her than her own brothers and she knew the same about him.

then one summer evening they were by the pool and she was pouting and nate could tell she was visibly upset.

“im a loser.”she said and nate looked at her.

“why do you think that?”he said scooting closer to her.

“i-ive never had my first kiss nate.that makes me a loser!” she said.

“if it makes you feel any better im also a loser i havent kissed anyone either.”he said and instantly made the girl feel better.

“nate can you kiss me?”she asked him.

“y-you really want me to?” he asked

“yeah. i mean we havent had our first kisses yet so what would it hurt for us to be eachothers first kiss.” she giggled.

nate slowly leaned in which made her start to lean in aswell and their lips met clashing with eachother softly as they enjoyed every second of it.

they didnt talked about it for a long time til one night they were hanging out while her brothers were out with friends.

“nate im bored can we makeout? i wanna practice and make sure im a good kisser!” she said with a innocent grin on her face.

“sure why not!” nate said as he got on top of her kissing her softly.

the kiss turned into a makeout session,nothing more or nothing less. their lips clashed together forever it seemed like as they both didnt want to pull away. they both knew it was more then just a innocent meaningless makeout session.

they would makeout any chance they got, it got to the point where she would text him to come over because she was bored and wanted to kiss him.

this would happen a lot up until prom night. thats when they would go all the way with eachother, way more then just a makeout session.

that was the night that their journey together really started, they lost their virginites to each other in the backseat of his car in a empty parking lot.

that moment was so special to them and still so special. the night they told eachother they loved eachother.

fast foward a few days after prom, the night he took her out on a date where he asked her to be his girlfriend. how they went on a date without her brothers knowing is still crazy. she immediately said yes when he asked her to be his girlfriend and this is how their adventure started.

now shes four months pregnant with his twins and they just graduated highschool together a few weeks ago and now they just moved into their first apartment together.

.•°♡°•.

the two were currently laying in their shared bed together as nate was laying on her belly and she was playing with his hair just admiring this moment with him.

she suddenly bursted out into tears at the sight of him laying on her baby belly.

“oh baby whats the matter?” he frowned as he got closer to her wiping her tears.

she pulled him closer to her wrapping her arms around him as he looked at her pressing a soft kiss on her cheek.

“i just love you so m-much i can’t believe we are having babies together and im dating my bestfriend.” she said sobbing.

“aw princess i love you too so much.” he said pressing a soft kiss to her lips.

the kiss was filled with love and emotions as they both kept the kiss going.

she had her arms wrapped him and her hands tangled in his hair as they were making out.

he soon pulled away and looked at her. ”let me make love to you” he whispered into her ear and she nodded.

“please” she said as she tugged at his sweats to take them off.

he took them off leaving him in nothing as she took her his oversized hoodie off leaving her in nothing.

he hovered back over her pressing his lips back to hers as he brushed his tip against her entrance slowly pushing into her causing her to let out a soft moan.

he pushed himself all the way into her starting to thrust slowly as he grabbed her hands connecting them with his as he thrusted into her.

he kissed all over her face whispering sweet nothings to her telling her how pretty she is and how much he loves her while he was making nothing but sweet love to her

nothing else in this moment mattered rightnow more then the two of them.

TAGLIST: @sturniololoves , @shinycreationtimemachine , @amaliarosewood , @realuvrrr , @certifiednatelover , @chr1sgirl4life , @thatssocancelled , @aurora-merritt , @ilovechrissturniolosposts , @sturniolo04 , @luvvholly

[makahimetenshi]

Fooling around together - Paladin Danse x Sole Survivor Fanfic

This is the 5 part of a series of fics im writing lately, the order will be:

May I use your shower?

Volver a tener algo

Addicted to Chems

This one: Fooling around together

Traumas at the Commonwealth

Being awake

Since im in a rampage writing with this new ship I want to make some announcements

If you are very very very delighted with one fic and want a continuation I didn’t write or post you can donate me at least $5 bucks, most of this fics have next chapters I don’t finish because lack of motivation but hey a $5 is a $5, I see a few reviews and coments that fics that are abandoned months laters receive coments of wanting to know what happends next. Here it is, I finished my handling with you all, enjoy the fic

  Danse didnt know how much of his life was actually…his life…

There was Haylen and Rhys since all the other members of his squad died under his command…theres also the registers on the brotherhood…but he cant access anymore since he was banished and there also was…

Nate.

But he didn’t have much record, a few months maybe.

Now and on he has Nate to count on him, of course the man wouldn’t only be a register of his existence but…he is a relieave proof of existence…

Maybe Nate can ask about the registers of his ADN on the brotherhood files but…

Danse sighted, he didn’t know how to ask that…

He didn’t know a lot of things. He was so unsure of everything…well Nate also was unsure, more paranoid than anything…

But now he had him, and Nate refused to let him go despite his true identity

-I love you beyond that-the man said to him in an ocation he was having a dark episode, is not like he didn’t care or take it on consideration but…-I love you Danse- love was stronger

A blush appeared on his face, and when it was time to came out his thoughts…

Ok it was 19hs and they were lucky to find an abandoned house with  the walls in almost acceptable state, the rest of the house of course had already been looted and scrapped but…having 4 walls to sleep was a start, at least to avoid the commonwealth animals around…it was getting dark and they needed a place to sleep for tonight, Nate learned the bad way to not  travel at night so when Danse said a few hours ago to start looking for a place to settle…he obey.

It didn’t pass much time since…they confessed, and expend together their first sleep, it wasn’t a big thing tho, just a few blowjobs and handjobs, this days weren’t nice and they didn’t find a nice spot to sleep or bath, at least he can think that’s the reason why they didn’t advance much…there was rush there was definetly rush but…Nate wanted to stop, and he was fine with it, but it makes him wonder what was happening since the vault man was the one who started…and seem more hungry of his body even but he always wanted to stop at some point…

Tonight…he sighted…well it was still an awfull place for that…maybe that was the reason? A special place and ocation? It was weird since they were both pretty adult man and that was…a really childish reason…a hygiene thing? Sure they didn’t bath but sometimes Danse think that Nate was going to devour him and then stops!

Grieve? He was a widower after all…maybe he is dealing with some feelings…

The house they were now setted…was weird…small, one of that classic wood American houses of less than 10m but two floors…beautifull garden and terrain but small house, as he saw in Santuary Hills Nate had one completely different, modern, he will say,  large with a low height but 4 rooms…this was weird because you enter, see the living room with the table and tv for family dinner,  a little kitchen to the side… a door out to the garden…a circular stair to go up and two bedrooms but…where the hell, where the hell where the bathrooms!? This was weird!

Not like he didn’t care about the poor choices an arquitec made building this house 200 years ago but this was weird, and a lot of houses around the commonwealth have the same problems, you see that wooden furniture full of decorations…so this people had money…but not a bathroom!

-Are you done with the checkings? –scream Danse to the upside floor, they went in the house and agree that there was no much time to keep wandering at open field to walk, so better just take this one to sleep and make a fire, but but but always was important to check out, you never know when theres a feral ghoul sleeping under the bed…maybe he was a normal person until a week ago an just transformed while cooking and out of nothing you get a bit on the neck trying to rip you off, so the procedure to find a place to sleep was…

1- Find a place

2-Check open spots on the rooft, find a place to put a bed

3- Look out for people, ghouls, or some animals

4- Loot if theres anything

5- Secure doors and open windows

6-Step out the power armors and park them in front of the door the room you are sleeping

7- ?????

Finding a place with a bathroom was secondary tho, there wasn’t much of that around so better not have hopes about it…

I mean they can poop in a bag and trow the bag away from a window at least, of course that wasn’t the best but is not like there was another option…

-Seems fine…theres a lot of furniture we can use to seal the windows, help me with the power armor- As soon he went up the stairs Nate was waiting for him with a wooden table flip to the side –help me to move, I preffer to not have sunlight than let a pack of flys get inside in the night –the ex-paladin nooded and help the new-paladin to place the table as a woodenboard –theres that drawer, crate,  organizer and bookshelds…none of this windows have glass so…-again, the ex-paladin noded like he was the soldier under the commander officer…but he was now so, better help…

Once the original order of the room has been complete changed in order to protect their asses, practically boarding the entire room booth looked at their work, Nate sighted.

-There are some matress here we can use? Or better unpack the sleepingbags?

-Nono…apparently two adult people lived here, no childen, theres one matress on each room, lets pick them, move them here and trow the beds into the stairs, I don’t thrust the entrance of this house, better have the way blocked.

-And how are you planning to get out the house in the morning? We cant just make our way out with the power armors its difficult to move and punch stuff, better not get stuck.

-Lets jump from the windows, we are not that high from regular ground, but imagine if some raiders have in the night the same idea as us, these roads at not so lonely as you may think, theres a lot of caravans also so better make this place…unusable for any one that isn’t us…after all this house doesn’t have a bathroom what the fuck

Danse giggled, he had his same idea, it was silly because it was an obvious thing to notice but…it melted his heart.

-Let me force the door, put a booksheld in the front, get up and then we are trowing the beds down and let them crash okay? –Nate nooded and Danse went down, as he see around  the little kitchen still have the refrigerator, so with the power armor strength he took out the steel door, use it as a block on the main door of the house, and then, just for security, picked up the entire refrigerator and trow it to the entrance, crealy blocking the way out…

Well there was open windows around the living room…but thing wasn’t to let people know they were setting up for the night so the less scandal they do the better, after all it was just a place to sleep…just 8 hours and out it cant be that difficult…he went up and meet his partner, then both went to the room and pick up the bed each one from one side, moved a bit to the stairs to position and…Danse kicked it down the stairs, obviously the crash against the bars and walls make the furniture break and collapse, making a mess difficult to clean up. Then the process was repited with a second bed, and now there was two broken wood beds in the middle of the stairs, blocking the way to the first floor of the house, if anyone wanted to surprise them it would surely have to explode the entire floor to make them come down.

That was unlicky to happen, possible yes but pretty crazy also…

Behind him, Nate went to pick up another booksheld with the hands of the power armorand kick it where it was the start of the stairs, moving it, still blocking the way, more even, surprising Danse at the harsh sounds of everything crashing and breaking.

The man was paranoid lately.

-Help me with a second one-said the man looking to anoooother booksheld not so far but…

-Don’t you think is enough with this? If we block out the only source of air we left we might intoxicate if a fire starts or something

-I mean its not like the room is hermetic but…you have a point, alright –then, Nate take out his headpiece, letting it rest over his hands –lets go to the room, im all sore from walking in this all day

The ex-paladin laughted, his partner never was a fan of using a  power armor, too much worry he said, it breaks so easy he said, it uses so many materials to repair he said…so winy.

He started wearing all the time after they left the brotherhood behind…well Nate didn’t say he did

Danse sighted  at thinking in that and went into the room, the procedure was as always, close the door, block it with drawer and then park the power armor in front of the furniture that blocked the way…Nate did that, apparently in a hurry to be normal again and not a steel doll, the man still have his fusion core on the hand…

-Want me to have it for a bit? –Danse offer his best help at seeing him so exhausted, but it was useless, since he came back from the institute he always looked this way.

-No, just came off yours so I can hide your fusion core too, park it in front of the matress, back to us like always.

The ex-paladin was actually happy of having this security procedures together, it went all one day that one caraban stole one of Nate power armors…the ones he collected at Santuary Hills…he always left them with the fusion core on until a woman name Carla stole one and refused to get out, the vault man didn’t want to kill her but he went sure to make a few holes on the armor with a  carabin…..

Still, not enough to scare her and have the armor back so…never a fusion core at anyones reach, too risky

He did as he was told, after all Nate was a paladin now and he was a…citizen of the commonwealth…not a paladin anymore…damn he broke his ass for that title…but Nate too, still he didn’t have to obey him for that but it was time to rest anyway, the day was long and difficult as most days wandering in the wastelands…

Danse sighted at coming out the power armor, and then feel the other man hugging his waist, placing his cheek over his arm, the ex-paladin place a hand over the one on his waist and smiled, Nate craved sometimes for the touch, he didn’t like being separated with the armors.

-Do you want to start a fire or better eat some cans?

-Lets eat cans, I need the aluminium and the weight off, the water ones specially…is 1lt of water so…its weight…-the ex-paladin nodded and went to pick up their stuff, getting a can of purified water and some 200 years old pasta they found somewhere…radioactive? Hell yeah, it does matter? Well not exactly now for him as he was a synth…and Nate said something weird of not being affected by rads in the food after leveling up or something he didn’t pay too much attention.

Was he now or maybe always not affected by radiation? Was his human synthetized body affected or not? He was a bio-robot, clearly bio, Nate explained him the process how a synth is created in the institute and they managed to create life…soulless life, bodys without purpose until they put synth components to give them a personality, a memory bank, a processor…his mind wouldn’t be affected never by the radiation but his body…maybe yes…but what was the limitations of a super human robot? Maybe they were designed to not be injured by radiation, after all they were designed super human robots, why not delete all flaws? If they were trying to continue human species like before the war…

Stop.

Don’t keep thinking on it.

His brain repeated, for the third time in the day.

Sometimes he looses on the confusion of now being a synth but all life before being human…his sane mental state some times appeared to take him out the thinking depressive things hole, he was gratefull that still being walking on this difficult new path he was sane and conscious of how things were developing.

And Nate was right there to help him too.

They didn’t have forks or spoons to eat, they mostly put the can in their mouths and pray for the food to decide to come down onto their throats, then clean with a tissue, poor? Yes, the only option they had now? Also yes? Confortable? Well definetly not but…Nate say they were still together like this, that it wasn’t going to be much different for him to be all alone in Post Bravo…

The new paladin sat over the matress and went to open the pasta cans, Danse was so unsure of so many things lately…does he need to eat? He preffered to give Nate the food if he really was a robot but he remember feeling hungry or fainting from starvation before…those were really vivid memories…

-You seem in pain –said Danse sitting next to him, the man looked uncomfortable, the way his back was arched didn’t look right.

-You know im not fond of 24/7 power armor as you, it wasn’t a good idea to travel with one…I don’t wanna leave it behind but I don’t wanna use it either…-it was funny how there wasn’t a real currency and still Nate managed to be miserly about resources –I could hide my face some other way…

-I preffer your safety, is important to use it

-I been picked up and trow to a wall more times than my hand fingers can count without a power armor –said giving Danse one of the cans, the man picked it and moved the cold pasta a bit with his finger to make it loose

-I still preffer you with one on

-Im eating, make a pee and go to sleep, tonight is cold and im tired, we walked a lot

-Want me to take a guard?

-No, lets sleep together, I need your warm –Danse cheeks burned, it wasn’t like a code or anything but lately that phrase ended up with them getting all horny whenever they are sleeping, it was true they sleep more confortable in each other arms but it was also true that most of the situations ended up with them making up.

Alright then, this would be the night maybe?

Danse place the can over his lips and open his mouth, waiting for the pasta to go down to think in something else.

Situation wasn’t perfect, hell yeah it was shitty, they been in this exact same position before so it wasn’t new but there wasn’t any hope of a hot shower for Danse anymore now, there wasn’t a clear future for him, it disappoint Nate so much that the only thing he can offer the man was this…poor living conditions…better this than let him sacrifice for the Brotherhood ideals but still…he save him and force him into a crusade to run around the Commonwealth and avoid his responsabilities…this was the best he can offer right now…

Of course, he can come back to Sanctuary, Codsworth was always waiting for him but…one day he saw a small camp with a perfect view to the vault 111 in the forest with one small symbol drawed very similar to the ones the Railroad uses…that realization make his spine shiver, he would never feel safe at home again, someone is always watching, no matter on which side.

The thought made his body tremble, and as fast Danse noticed this, he put an arm around his shoulders.

Nate thought that Danse did it because it was cold, but the ex-paladin knew that Nate has demons just like him inside his mind, all the time…

There was noise, a lot of dark and ugly noise around them and it was their duty to mutually take care of each other and disperse the noise away from their minds.

He often find the man zooning out, trembling, falling, sighting or wanting to suppress a unexpected cry.

And just like Nate did it with him, he would watch over him too.

Danse finished his can of pasta, trow it to the next wall and then place his head over Nates shoulder, placing a hand over his knee while the man eat.

The man became a mistery after coming back from the institute…well both have flipping life changing experiences after all…like seeing the world burn wasn’t enough for Nate…

After Nate finished eating and drinking for the night, the miserly man pick up the cans and let them next to his things, preparing to go to sleep.

-Do you realize we need to find a station to fix your power armor right? Im not going to carry your trash until we find that –Danse was already laying on the matress, looking at his boyfriend peing against a hole in the wall, goddamit the new paladin find it hilarious to do that silly stuff and Danse didn’t get it, I mean it was practicall since the liquid and the smell wouldn’t stay with them but he did this in everyplace they sleep.

-Im not planning to, when did I ever gave you my trash?

-Im still carrying your fat-man

-Oh no im not hearing this, you are carring it because when I tried to get rid of it you said “nonono you cant go around dropping valuable things like that” like a angry dad, even if theres fat-man all around the corners…

-Well i…

-If it bothers you so much I should scrap it…

-Don’t even think on that

There was a brief silence, then a buckle from Nate, and then one from Danse, both laughted.

Nate tucked his dong after using a tissue, but didn’t actually fix his pants, when he turn around Danse saw him and blushed a bit, yeah, he suspected well…The man slowly made his way to sit next to him in the second matress and hold his cheek, looking directly at his eyes.

-Are you alright? –this was a way Nate had to ask him if it was okay to…advance…if he was unconfortable, too tired, too cold, sick, hurt or emotional he preffered to wait for the next day, but yeah, today he was fine, a bit tired just like him but…as fine you can be in the wastelands…

-Im okay –Danse hands went to the sides of Nates hips, making the man tremble a bit at the touch, but as soon he did that the new paladin lift his leg to sat over his stomach.

The positive thing about being on top of Danse was the view…Danse was actually a bit skinny but in comparision he was huge in size and Nate was so in love with that...both hands went to his cheeks, caressing the tick hairs of his black beard…gosh it was so masculine and handsome…

-I look at you and I cannot think on another thing more than telling you how much I love you…-the ex-paladin laughted a bit, enyoing the sensation of his fingers in his jaw, moving his fingers in circles over his hips

-You sure you are not just lusting?

-I think I have reasons to say that I love you deeply –Nate gave him a playfull smile at it, getting more closer to his face, and then out of nothing Danse hand moved to his crotch, pressing over the pants and the underwear,  surprising Nate but taking a soft moan out.

-I have my reasons too –Nate laughted and his torso went down, laying on top of Danse chest, his mouth looked for his and  he was well received with a deep and warm kiss, moving his head to the side to make them space confortable.

Yeah, this was right, this was definetly the thing he looked all over the day, if they could just disappear and be this close together without having to worry about surviving…

Danse hummed on his mouth and that surprised the other man, apparently he was having a blast with just a kiss, his hands moved to his wast, securing his grip at hugging him tightly, Nate moved his head a bit and the ex-paladin went desesperate to eat his mouth, they were not getting separed for  oxigen until someones head gets red and both separate laughting from the intensity

Nates hands went down, moving all around his chest, pressing firmly with the tip of his fingers all it was avalible to touch, he loved how the man feel so firm and hard anywhere, the thing that really make him have doubts in the first place was how handsome and perfect he was and…he was having it, it was his, after wishing it for so long…

Nate went off the kiss because he was smiling, took some air and then went back to eat the ex paladin mouth in a tongue kiss, hands getting brave to get under his shirt and feel the warm of his skin, not to mention the beautifull sensation of the hair of his torso and arms…

Danse felt hot, really hot, Nate always rushed, had a level of intensity hard to keep, same as fightings, the man jumped directly in the face of danger and in bed he jumped directly to what he most desired…He loved that hands, hands that didn’t despise him for what it was, he could believe that as a synth he had no right to be loved or desired but it wasn’t like that, the other man was so fonded with him that he couldn’t care less about it, having that deep conection really make the ex paladin head fly…yeah…he liked this…he whished for this moments with him…a moan died between  their tongues and he could feel how Nate went more exited from it, the man moved to sit more confortable over his hips and have a better pose, moving his hands to the side of Danse body, firmly grabbing and getting delighted with his abs, again, making the ex paladin moan, it tickle but also feel good.

Danse hands moved down again, placing over Nates pants in his clothed ass gripping with a bit of strenght, the man on top of him shiver at the touch, but as he bite his tongue and rob a moan he didn’t pay much attention to the rest…the feeling of Nates fingers tangling over the hairs on his chest make him snap a bit and pay attention to the sensations over his body, above being hotheaded, he was hard, very hard, his buldge was against Nates leg where he was sitted and take a moment to check over the situation, looking down, confusing the vault man who was enjoing the kiss at being separated like it…

Well look at that…an unconscious reflex made him buckle his hips, making the man on top move a bit, a groan came from the back of his throat at how good it felt, calling Nate attention, who stood up just to look too…Danse hands secure his grip onto his hips and set a peace where he would buckle slowly and soft into him and would move him a bit, trying to be circular but of course it wasn’t perfect, he close his eyes, goddamn it felt good, the rubbing with his crotch and his body was amazing but…

-Danse –Nate called for him, Danse was in a trance that took a few more attempts of him calling his attention before he could snap-Danse! –he sluddenly open his eyes…why wasn’t Nate moving? His hands went down, wasn’t he enjoying it as much as him?

-Are you alright? –said the ex paladin, it was true, the man didn’t make any move but he also wasn’t playing much attention. Nate seemed a bit…conflicted…not confortable…

-Sorry theres something I want to tell you –the ex paladin went up on his elbows, looking at his face, Nate went to cup his cheeks with a hand and place the other over his hot neck, liking how thick it was under his fingers.

This was it, this was the moment where they stopped but he never ask to…talk before…it was good it was good it was an advance…

-Yes?

-Sorry i…-the man sighted for a moment, taking a breath before looking down again- I been thinking a lot this days…and I really try to be open and give it a chance…to like it…-one of his hands grabbed Danse to put it over his crotch, sure he had an erection, he was hot but…all rubbery…not hard hard…it was very different from him, that sadded Danse for a moment but he was willing to hear his concerns…-I do not feel comfortable receiving…this…-he said as he pushed his ass against Danse buldge- doesn’t feel right for me…

Wow…

Danse sighted in surprise…ok he could deal with this is it was nothing…

-Its okay, do not feel bad for it –while this is clearly a turn off because of how much he was enjoing it he can understand the man worries…

-I do, because I want you…but I know I don’t like this…-said again, jumping a bit over the ex paladin erection still on his underwear, he was doing it on purpose- sorry I been trying for days to try to feel confortable with the idea but I cant…

-We can do another stuff…-this hit hard because lately he was thinking what was his real sexual experience…he cant make differences between the memorys implanted by the Institute and the ones he at least lived the last months so…

-You don’t get it –the vault man went down, facing him, lips against each other, talking with his warm breath against his skin while looking directly at his eyes –I want you…

-Oh…-Danse hands moved up, to catch his shoulders and secure him there, it was a nice pose, he liked how his eyes melted over his…

God this was hot, so hot, body was burning in desire right now even if the goddamn conversation was just about not doing it…His head moved to the side and sighted frustrated but then, out of nothing, Nate went to his ear and left a little wet kiss before whispering with his hot breath..

-Don’t worry ill just have to find the best way to fuck you –hearing that last one make the ex paladin slurp saliva hard, frozen…but not frozen…completely still on his place but burning like crazy, a wave of heat danced from his toes to forehead at hearing that. God having pants on now was killing him, he didn’t want to make the other man uncomfortable but…

-I think we are kinda familiar with anal sex at his age…

Silence…

Nate went back and had to use his hand to cup his mouth, snorking hard from the nose, Danse see the little wet drops from his nose as he tried to not burst in tears of laught, seeing him like that make the man also laught silly, it wasn’t actually that funny….but it was enough to trigger the silliness in Nates mind, and that always make Danse laught with him…

A few hands fly all around, playing with each other, laughting loud at the bad joke, Danse hands went to his stomach to pinch and play a bit making tickles and Nate went to defend himself from the little attacks, hugging the big man and moving around the matress.

Joy, this moments with him bring Danse joy…he could feel the man smile against his arm and shoulder and it make him feel his chest full of a very nice sensation.

A few moments later they relaxed a bit, Nate hugged him by the waist and make a hand find a way under his pants, finding so amazing how warm the skin of that zone was…

-I can help you for tonight…

-You don’t want anything? –Nate denied with his head, his fingers went more brave and down at meeting with his pubes, playing with the thick dark hairs at their encounter

-When I say im tired from the day I mean it…and I finally let this off my chest…I been forcing myself to try to like it so this is a relief

A bit disappointing? Yes but they weren’t in a rush or anything, and it could get better, he trusted the other man…habilities…

Danse kissed his forehead.

-You sure? –while he also desired the other man, to touch and kiss and bite and get off all the goddamn clothes off him…it was okay for this night, he admitted this wasn’t the best place and the conditions weren’t favorable –Okay…

Fingers went down down, getting lost between his dark hairs, making Danse shiver at expectation.

Nate moved to be between his legs, locking their eyes together and just make the most sexy smile he had ever seen, Danse feeled like he was going to be eat…and expected it harsh

-Stay with me for the rest of the night okay? I want your warm…-wait didn’t he say before that he needed the warm? the way that words left his mouth make his cock twitch, and the next thing Danse see before being obliged to close his eyes is the other man pulling his pants down to devour him entirely.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14236049/1/Fooling-around-together

[cdmodule]

9, 17, 24, 28, 29, 31 bitch

Hi Nate

From this post

9 - Favorite quality about your favorite character?

Is it fair to say their accent. Because dear god Ther Voice Their Giggle tbeir little vocal quirks make me INSANE DEAR GOD

17 - Favorite (canonically) queer character?

Besides Winner obviously, Latte EEE and Snowy LAF <3 love them

24 - Favorite Intro?

Minutely Object Show S1 Intro nearly brought me to tears

28 - Favorite Ship?

Tree x Clock when theyre chained onto each other (iykyk)

No but like Jokes Aside Take A Wild Guess

I have maaany ships I love but Winnerclock & Winnerloser really Take The Cake For Me

In diff ways tho. To make it short:

Winnerloser I focus less on the romance aspect overall, they def had smth going on though. They were bandmates, they went into adulthood with each other, saw each other grow and grow apart, starting to detest what made them fall in love to begin with. (Keeping it vague for now)

Winnerclock is two Abandoned People with a rough start, lack of boundaries/self awareness clashing with someone who sees everything reminding themselves of their past as a potential threat. But they have more in common than they think. I think they could find new beautiful things in life with each other. Im Normal about these objects btw

Honorable mention: Losercake for bein my first big ship <3Hi nate

29 - Least Favorite Ship?

I only rly care abt bfdi ships Enough so. If you asked me 2 months ago I wouldve said fireafy and a lot of things abt them Writing wise still piss me off, esp in post split but it already started in ep15 TBH. However charlie (and kind of harmie) kinda fixed them for me cuz no one gets it like they do Its Fine .

Some other mentions: Barf Bag x Spongy (theyre not good for each other Im Sorry), Snowball x Fanny (theyre funnier as friends also theyre both gay), Snowball x Basketball (same as prior but bb is Bi to me) uhhh Gelatin x Lollipop but I never see that anyway

Why are all of these straight ships I promise Its not on purpose

31 - Random Fact about a character/show that you love

How much Cary did NOT want Loser to be eliminated (and that Loser is Cary and Michael's fave)

In his reaction to BFB6 he mentions that he specifically didn't want Loser to check the crack for the twinkle so she doesnt make the team lose and ppl Vote Her Out For It. He didnt want Clock to get booted out either which is why he says smth abt "Dont forget Im the reason why we won ep 1 and 3"

And that speech pin and coiny did was supposed to show her in a GOOD LIGHT but it made viewers believe she was secretly evil and breaking the team apart and If u watch the reaction hes Genuinely Suprised how MANY ppl were voting Loser out

CARY N MICHAEL WERE RLY EXCITED TO HAVE HER AND THE SHOW AND ALSO MENTIONED LOSER HAVING BACKSTORY!! ITS SO SAD!!

[solardick]

Portents are strong today. A soider a dove, teo geese, and a criw all in sync. With present happenings. One after the other.

But, i don’t think those pills are working. Not today.

I saw a pretty girl today. She has those eyes. Those. Intense peircing eyes. That i like. And she has a turn on. Its her neck. I can tell. The guy was too much. I wuestion if he was flirting. But she thought. No. As she seemed to measure me up. I want to go back and ask her what she thi ks about god.

I deal with people like this all day. He says. Have you ever had a hard on when you take a shit? Like it touches the right spot. And you get turned on?

….. no nate ive never had a hard on taking a shit before. Jesus fuck. Had a prostate test done once. Where’s the hype? I think they think i have sexula identity issues. Nope. Last i checked i have a penis.

Ok. Spider on my boot. Running late. Go figure Aries season. Hot tempers. Get a lift and some bite to eat. Two geese fly by. As one walks up to the door. Comes back to say something immoral. And light a smoke. Crow goes by. As he goes back in the teo geese fly by but, not together.

The dove was an after effect it seems. There she was. Perched on the lines slender and soft. I said hello. Or hey dove. And she hoowed back. Maybe that was coincende without the magic. Its was neat though. Cause she looked.

But my new coleage is taken out. And now. There’s literally no one i want to work with stick with these asshole saying bs. Like the above. Or the complete opposite. Oh yeah im the shit i get so much pussy. 🙄 or the other guy cursing and swearing all fucken day. Foot uo uour ass this my foot up your ass that. Fucken cocksuker. Fuck this fuck that. What you prettending to be my father? Suprise gifts in the van im supposed to unload found by someone else. Ugh. Day in day out. Its kike they’re not even trying anymore.

Well i guess ibs is out.

Start lookign for another job i guess. Not like i’ll fond one. But, maybe.

I dont force my words on anyone. People like trouble. Cause they tet to act and be superior. Rightious. Or so crap like that. I dont know. I cant think like that. Goes agaisnt instinct. And if i was involved i’d be like thouse better people who sit by and watch without intent. Half of them are criminal. Yup. Thats life. And that right! I get it. I sense it. Never relished always apart. Over 20 years. I was raised in this. Bred in one direction. Someone else’s. Maybe thats why god talks to me. Its the only real relationship i have. Not a trace if me seeing anything destructive or ill intent on. With concern about tossing my butt on the ground and not putting it in my pocket. Even though im conflicted cause i smoke. And alot of these portents all speak around quitting smoking. And, they keep fucken woth me. Controling output.

That was nice though. A few solid seconds of hard eye contact. Got to keep the tempo low. Bass. Its in the tone. Not really having one. More like static.

When the mind goes into this state. And life is found in these words. And not corrupted out by bs. But they keep on me. And keep bronging it back. Wasting my time. Year after year.

🤷🏻‍♂️ if you talk to nature. Nature talks back. None of these people get that. My family didnt get it either. Neither did anynof my friends. My enemies…. I took anpicturenof the clouds on the opposite side of the eclipse. Wanna see? If you havent already.

Taken at 3:33 pm or 15:33 pm. As time has its own rule to add to the cards.

Over the constelations of Cepheus across to the star Polaris. Below is draco the dragon hovering over the parking lot. What used to do is try and fond connections in mythology. To describe the constelations or add life to its. Pluralized. You wouldn’t use a plural for it. Could say them. But, it’s not a person.

Like type a search.

Well thats not true.

I found a missing word in our language. Its so obvious. Maybe that comes woth learning a new alphabet and different grammar. Thats cool. Still. Wheres my word? I dont want to personalize portents or omens. Yin and yang. Personalize objects. Maybe its a cause of mental illness having an incomplete language. Sundenly tripping balls on gods knows what. And stuff starts coming alive and speaking. Cartons have onjects and furniture alive with personalilities maybe that a reason as to why that word foesnt exist. Its all in the control of the fantasy.

And i dont have the strength or the courage to leave. Ao just keep fucken with me.

But its great. I get to yell at someone all day. While they say. Yeah, no, it’s ok.

Liar.

[wildlycuriouswanderercj]

buzz had on jetpack

i love those moments when u meet a kindred soul and u guys immediate just hit it off

like

when i meet people and we both look at each other with shoulder shrugged and nose pinched 

like i see u u sneaky little brat kind fun playful energy

i wish i meet more people like that i can instantly be friends with

its so fun being at work

it makes my day so much memorable

not everyday we can have day like these

but its days like these that are so memorable

id love to get a hoto with her

but its ok

the memory is more important than the photo

her buzz lightyear costume was spot on

with a white helmet

she was so on point with eveyrthing

woody was a super cool guy too

adrian

he had a great energy of a gentlemen

there wasnt a single trace of anything negative i sensed from them

it was fun open energy

it was some great energy

their vibrations were so high

i instant was able to connect with them

they were a couple ill remember forever

even if they dont come back

it will be a night to remember

and working with kevin and nate

was fun too

we were all talking about the same funny thing

personal i digged their energy more than their looks

the guys were just staring at her butt

which i didnt find to appealing..

i thought she was just a great soul

he was just as great as well

nate had other thoughts about the guy

but i think that guy was a great guy

he matched her energy

and she matched his

he could be a big more bigger

but his energy is supreme

they vibed great honestly

and i vibed with them just as well

it was a good night 

tonight is a night to remember forevry

i can retire my career at k1

after tonight

i let aziz know about how i feel

and theres nothing left on my shoulder

everything has been lifted

all bad days have came to become worth it

the last time i had sometihng like this was working at bonchon when iwas loosing money

now i dont even care about money 

i just get wat i want

when i want

some things takes time

but time is worth the wait

i got the helmt for 100 cheaper

found the same one

itll take 2 months to get here

an i have 2 months to sell the current helmets

once i sell them

thats it

no mor buying helmets

im only going to have that pull and bear shoei helmet

and thats going to be my main primary one

that helmet will be used to remember tonights memorable night

[themichaelvan]

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My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

why nearly every character in all of the fnaf musicals are insane in distinctly different but still very much insane ways: an essay

(this is like 80% from memory and its. checks time 2:15am as of writing this so excuse inaccuracies.)

mark: oh my god starting off with a bang, are we? okay okay. he was there for ONE NIGHT. one. one night. he spent like basically all of it crying in the corner because of puppets. theyre puppets. freddy is literally punted across the room on multiple occasions YOU ARE A FULL GROWN ADULT MARK. "in all my dreams i see / a maze of halls with bloody walls / and countless scrawls reminding me "it's me!"" YOU WERE THERE FOR ONE NIGHT. he IMMEDIATELY decides that the solution to this is not 1) taking it up with his manager 2) just fucking quitting bUT INSTEAD THAT ITS 3) BRING A DUFFEL BAG FULL OF WEAPONS, INCLUDING SEVERAL KNIVES AND GUNS TO HIS WORKPLACE INTENDING TO KILL THE ANIMATRONICS YOU WERE HIRED TO PROTECT. AND THEN THE ONLY THING HE DID TO CHANGE HIS IDENTITY AFTER NEARLY KILLING A MAN AND GETTING CAUGHT WAS TO DYE HIS HAIR. he didnt even change his ADDRESS. dipshit. he acts all tough and crap afterward too like he spent 40 years in prison. he was reduced to literal actual tears by puppets. god i love him so much.

nate: sassed the man holding a knife to one of the animatroniocs he, AGAIN, was HIRED to PROTECT. drove the animatronics to a man they KNOW is willing to use guns to protect himself in the FIRST PLACE. also he just ??? fuckign Had bb on hand like. did they give him bb when he quit the first time?? like. okay. say you have to distract an easily distracted but immensely murderous animatronic and your first thought is "hmm what if i use that rc car that looks like a child from my old workplace". bitch if its been 7 years since i worked there and witnessed a traumatizing event im gonna bury that fucker at the bottom of my closet not just have it with me. also his first concern when he was faced with a very much "i am going to die" situation is that he hasnt caught up on a tv show yet???? nate buddy please i appreciate you but get some self-worth and some therapy while youre at it

aj: he was nearly killed by an animatronic as big as he was, stopped only by like a foot or smth, and then IMMEDIATELY accepted the transfer to ANOTHER place with animatronics in it like. why would you actively choose to keep working with fazbear entertainment. im sure literally any other company ever would look at aj "nearly killed two men because he wanted to work more hours" purple guy and hire him in a millisecond. SPEAKING OF WHICH, HE NEARLY KILLED TWO MEN BECAUSE HE WANTED TO WORK MORE HOURS. DO YOU NEED THE MONEY THAT BADLY OR DO YOU JUST REALLY FUCKING. WANT TO WORK AT FAZBEARS THAT MUCH. i honeslty cant decide which is worse. he also mocked the guy with a chainsaw who burst through the wall not ten minutes before??? who was also like 2 feet away from him???? what were you EXPECTING him to do??????????????????? give you more hours????????????????????????

phone guy: yeah.

mike: looked at the absolute flaming dumpster fire that was the lawsuits, filthy animatronics, extremely low budget, and EXTREMELY sketchy boss that was the new fazbears and said "yeah i can work with this." also i think he got killed by pan stan which is such a sad way to go my god. i dont have quite as much to say about him but i DO love him very much and he REALLY SHOULD HAVE gotten a better job.

lizzy: other than the fact she hasnt quit fazent yet (which is excusable considering it looks like shes looking into the sketchy stuff and is probably mostly there for mikes death), actually not that bad. props to her tbh if i had to deal with a boss like phone guy id go considerably more feral.

those police officers who showed up for like 2 scenes in the og fnaf musical: just fucking, like. let an actual murder perp ESCAPE because they Forgot To Lock The Car And Went To Go Get Food and then just. DIDNT REPORT IT. because this, apparently, is NOT the first time theyve let someone escape, and because theyd LOSE THEIR JOBS IF THEY REPORTED IT. if the police is THAT bad in this town no fucking wonder phone guy's gotten away with everything so far.

41 notes - Posted August 7, 2022

#4

drops dead on the floor

43 notes - Posted October 7, 2022

#3

buddy.... are you..... sweeping..... the evil rune circle............

45 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

#2

SIGHS. okay whatever. 10k notes and i finish reading homestuck

81 notes - Posted October 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i hope the admiral knows i love him

(original image under cut, id in alt)

2,341 notes - Posted September 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[icselpatlamalar]

I was a person who were lonely. For time sake i will give definete zones. I realized i was suicidal and alone in 2018 summer when i see that i have no one to talk about my problems and my depression. I geniounly were gonig through life all alone. I was surrounded by alot of people who were spouse to be the bests of the country but no on was there for me. I felt spriitually, universally anondened and felt broken for being alone. I never knew still dont know why i am alone.

I had an abusive ex who did me so mcuh bullshit unless i love them. They would abuse me when i dont love them. I tried to escape but they countinuesly theratened me. This became a pattern in alot of my relationships and friendships. I always find people who would try their god best to destroy me, when all i am every going is the “good” i presume. I never ment to hurt anyone and if i hurt anyone, i geniounly dont give a fuck, let it count since i have been abused multiple times, you can handle one punch.

I was collectively mistreated, seen as an alien, always tried to be silenced, used for support, but never there were 1 single person who wanted to understand or love me. People dont even wanna get to know me on surface level. Everyone just wants me to love them automaticly. I dont even know why this keeps happenng? I keep many boundries, i even strted to be more agressive and cut troat with people. But people keep wanna see me dead. As is i am an collective martydom i didnt choose to become. I dont want this. I want people to love and respect me. But i never got that did i? 

I even cut out, leave, manipulate peopel to stop being a dick to me, but people just wanna see me cry and die. I dont have any idea why people hate me so passionately. Why they wanna kill me omfg. I didnt do SHIT. 

All i did was be nice to people, people who were fucking sucial and desperate for some goodness in life. In return i got backstabbed, riddculed for nothing, framed, gaslight, manipulated, hates, covert nated, got jelous, clinged on to, blackmailed, threatened with suicide, and threatened in many forms. I have strong boundries but people keep doing this. I felt so tired but even in grave people wanted to abuse the fuck out of me. I need some alone time.

I never get why people hate me so passionalety and want me to die when i am the only good person who geniounly love them. I mean you can hate me and not love me. I was never as close as many of these people told me i was to them anyway. I really dont get why i am being pulled and pushed in stories that never existed. I was and am a person who geniounly want good shit to manifest and happen in the world. Currently, sadly i am focused entirely on myself and my own enjoyment + career + life. I am no longer runnign around trying to be a god or a heroe. I am just trying to be ME. And i guess people hate that.

I cant lie or make excuses or act like im not hurt. Bitch i was literally attacked by 10 people daily. Ofc i am traumatized and hateful and still have a huge anger towards me. Because this was not my intention or my life that people try to empose on me. I wanna be a good guy but everyone wants to pull and push me into the victim state. I am not a victiom of anyone but these peoples bullshit.

I am letting go shit go, cuz this was important to me. I cant be a fake hoe.

I cant believe people hate me cuz i wanna be alone in my peace. I cant. Just i fucking cant. I put boundries and walla and even trow bombs but people just wanna fuckingkill me i dont even know why people hate me so fucking passionatly when all i did was be the only one who helped them omfg. I wish i never gaved a fuck about hoes.

I did that because i gone through depression and heartbreak alot. I know how it feels to be n this position. But i even had people who stalked me for years to frame and gaslight me because i friendzoned their ugly fuckign ass. Go fucking cry to your ex that you never had Or other people who cant speak up to people but blow at me. I am not a fucking btoom feader. I dont give a fuck or care.

I just feel like all my effort to make a world better place is not swept under the rug as “people pleasing” cuz i am sick? I am a bad human for why?

People try to fuking ruin my life and my mental health when they cant access me with their petty bullshit. I am done. All my friends were petty shit heads and i no longer give a fuck. I had a horribly bad life. I never had a good friends, i always had shit friendships. I always had shit people around me. 

I am done being the scapegoat for thing i never did. Tiem to ttack and frame people for who they are.