#but the others are obvs here too

[graftisms]

JOSH & MARCUS — DAY TWENTY-EIGHT

location :   evening / post-challenge / pool

featuring :    @bluemmings @blondcs @inquixotic

context because i’m not posting it all :   they all jumped in the pool naked  ( except josh bc he’s lame )  after frankie and miles’ bet about who could hold their breath longest, resulting in most of them having to streak. they’re talking about where frankie ran off to, assuming miles, and then discussing miles and frankie together & separately.

JOSH

"he's into you too," he tells marcus, with a nod. "i told him you weren't really interested in guys though, sorry." that's not exactly what he said, but maybe he's trying to push some buttons, see how badly marcus wants it.

MARCUS

marcus can't blame miles for being into him, he's a catch. but josh's statement has him frowning. " just cause i'm not into you doesn't mean i'm not into guys, josh. " he snorts, shaking his head.

JOSH

"sorry, i had no idea. i haven't seen you with any of the ones here, so..." it doesn't bother him, because he finds this all pretty funny.

MARCUS

" i mean, i was with romi from day one so... " not so much a flex anymore but, his point still stands. " i don't think miles thinks i'm straight though, so, it's all good. " god forbid anyone think he's straight.

JOSH

"and obsessed with naomi the rest of the time," he shrugs, filling in the blanks that aren't there. deanna's choosing violence today apparently. "but yeah, you'll be fine."

MALI

she resurfaces for air, brushing her hair off her face, catching josh’s snide remark. “woah there,” she laughs, blinking at the two of them before glancing over at val.

MARCUS

okay... not where he expected this to go at all. " don't know what you mean by that but okay ... " he pulls a face, brows knitting together.

JOSH

"i don't mean anything," he shrugs.  "you were with romi from day one, but you kissed naomi a few days ago, so clearly you've had a thing for her for a while there. and then you only mentioned girls yesterday when we were talking about grafting, so."

VALERIE

“well you were all over naomi the other day too, weren’t you?”

MARCUS

marcus didn't actually know that josh knew about his ' kiss ' with naomi, so he does suddenly feel a flush at his cheeks, an uncomfortableness in his stomach. " naomi and i are friends. " he clarifies, this sudden shift making the water feel cold against his skin. " and that's 'cause i'm not into any of the guys... miles is a new guy, that's different. " his brows raise, interested to know what val means by her statement.

JOSH

"yeah," he says, voice growing a little cold, "you two are friends. got it." as if that couldn't be any clearer. josh glances over at val, rolling his eyes a little. as if she didn't have her chance to talk about this earlier, but... "we weren't all over each other," he says, "but we had a moment, yeah." he wants to say more to marcus, but this isn't exactly the crowd for it.

MALI

she sighs, a little annoyed she didn’t catch that herself when she glanced at valerie, smiling lazily at marcus. “he did say he likes trouble.”

MARCUS

" so... what, you ditch naomi for jenny, and now naomi's got dylan you suddenly want her back ? yeah, sounds like trouble to me. "

JOSH

"i never ditched naomi," josh scoffs, lifting himself up to sit at the edge of the pool. he needs to be the one on higher ground. "i basically begged for her back after lying to her about jenny, but she ditched me for dylan. it's not like how you randomly dumped romi after her prick of an ex made you feel bad."

VALERIE

she floats toward marcus, hands resting against his shoulders, massaging them a bit.

MALI

oh. drama. “maybe this is a conversation better had on dry land?” she suggests, more to josh than to marcus — what had he done wrong?

MARCUS

" well, i can't blame naomi for wanting out. " he says simply, 'cause josh shouldn't have done anything with jenny but oh well. he gives josh a look like really? once he brings up the romi stuff, rolling his eyes. he is grateful for valerie, if only to feel like someone's in his corner.  " i dumped romi 'cause they fucked maddox without a second thought about me. " he scoffs. " you know full well before that how much i was into her so don't act like i'm the one out of line here. "

JOSH

"alright, well fuck you too, man." josh rolls his eyes. so much for marcus being his friend, but this only basically confirms what he already knew. "you took a break with her because the dejan stuff got too hard. as if she hadn't spent the night crying outside because of that prick. she needed you, and you left her to immediately kiss naomi. i don't even like maddox, and nobody can blame her for doing that. you should be embarrassed by that, dude. i'm embarrassed by what i did to naomi, but i tried to make that right. i'm still trying," he adds. "but romi rather kiss me than naomi wants to kiss you, so... maybe i'm doing something right after all."

MARCUS

" we took a break 'cause neither of us signed up for dejan's shit. she decided to fuck maddox, and i kissed naomi— that was after. " and he doesn't think he'd ever even try it with naomi had romi not fucked maddox in front of him. he is embarrassed by that whole party, from maddox to naomi and everything in between, but he barely has time to linger on it before a scoff escapes him, eyes fixed on josh in disbelief. " romi kissed you ? " he'd like to not be surprised by it. after all, he expected it to happen ages ago, but he can't quite wrap his head around it all of a sudden now it's presented as a fact.

JOSH

“no, because you didn't sign up for it," he argues. "what, you decide you had too much of dejan, so you asked for a break? you think romi could just take a break from her shitty ex being here? you were just looking out for yourself," he fires back, getting heated now. he doesn't realize how much of this he was holding onto. "she kissed me because i punched that guy, which yeah, i shouldn't have done maybe, but it's far more than you ever did. you're supposed to fight for the people you care about. but it doesn't really seem like you cared that much to begin with. you certainly don't give a shit about our friendship, so, y'know. i just hope trying to shoot your shot with naomi was worth it."

MALI

now she does swim over to josh, touching his arm gently. “this is all really emotionally healthy to get out,” she says softly, “but i think you should take a breather, love. clear your head.” it’s clear he’s upset.

MARCUS

maybe he's getting so pressed because he knows in a way josh is right. he didn't really step up for romi like he should have, and he knows that as soon as he had doubts he was looking for a way out. it's just fucking impossible to do that on this stupid ass show without breaking things off.  he's not losing his cool with josh in a stupid fucking pool while butt naked, and really... he doesn't even know what he can say in response. he's lost and hurt and frankly tired of it all. " you know what ? fuck you, man. i'm done. " he shakes his head. " sorry, " marcus' voice turns soft for valerie, his hands reaching to find hers and gently moving them from his shoulders so he can jump out of the pool. he doesn't care that his dick is out or his arse, he just heads inside the villa to go anywhere away from josh.

JOSH

mali tries to gently get him to leave, but josh is pleased to see that marcus does it first, butt naked and angry. maybe he should feel bad, and a part of him kind of does... but the rest of him is a little smug, unable to wipe a small smirk off his lips. good. let marcus feel shitty for once. it's about fucking time. only when his bare naked is out of his view does he look at mali, finally feeling something different than that smugness. "sorry," he smiles sheepishly, not really sure what to say. "that was... a long time coming. i shouldn't have done it here, though." he takes a deep breath. "want me to grab you a towel?" he offers. save her some modesty.

[d8tl55c]

hey wait a minute

so it's the start of AvA part 7 and Chosen and Dark are talking, right? and the former has this vision of terrible things happening if they don't stop the latter, right here and now.

they see the ViraBots descending on the last remnants of stick kind with Dark as their leader (or Lord if you will. ha ha) and i, trusting viewer, took their assessment as reliable*. we JUST saw Dark getting uncomfortably violent in earlier scenes after all

but

however

notwithstanding

unless Chosen has demonstrable prophetic powers (like how Orange has** in the past seen things currently happening (horizontally-prophetic let's call it: seeing faraway in the current time) (there's probably a better word for this but let's move on)), how did they know this was definitely what Dark was leading up to?

** ⬆ examples of Orange horizontally-prophesizing in AvM episode 11, SkyBlock (unconfirmed but referenced as, "uh? well maybe??? maybe i didn't think about it yet-" (abridged quote from AvG react video)) (op will die /j /extremely pos if this is used again in AvA 11 (HAH they'd both be episode 11 (op just giggled maniacally)))

Dark doesn't even have his control bracelets on.

because Chosen didn't know about them yet.

because this is not a prophetic vision.

Chosen is just that... reactive. what was it. @compressedrage (hi o/ ) had a good wording let me find it. yeah i guess it was reactionary

the ONLY time we've seen them stop to think things through is actually just a terrified anxiety breakdown while they stand there, frozen, imagining the worst, until they snap out of it JUST in time to impact their reality.

but with no time left for debate. reasoning. they assumed Dark was beyond reasoning from the moment he showed off what his device could do............. because they were beyond reasoning out of fear.

<community post version>

[ssruis]

Hi hi i think youre completely right about characterization so I wanted to ask if you have any pjsk fic recs? Thank you :3

Oh god you know not what you have done

Primary ruikasa/emunene focus as is expected on ssruis dot tumblr dot com so keep that in mind but there’s a few gen fics on here.

The world offers itself - thrillingwhiteday (In progress) (ruikasa)

Super underrated… the characterization is so good… saki + rui interactions (I cheered). Lives in my head rent free.

You and a Skull’s Flower - Revelry_in_serenity (In progress) (no relationship focus but there are bg relationships)

Pandemonium gang experiences The Horrors. Recommend the author’s other works as well - Supporting Roles/Lasting Embraces/Overwritten are some other ones I really enjoyed - but I’m Very Intrigued by the plot in this one.

Warm - pyrotechpuffs (One shot) (ruikasa)

Also recommend the authors other works but this is a fave.

Soul to Wreck - sleepieash (In progress) (ruikasa)

Literally anything by helloitsaiza or calculatrice. The characterization/writing… chefs kiss… their brains are so massive. Best stuff in the tag. Rewired my brain. However this is a list of fic recs and not author recs so I’ll link some of my favorites:

Roles - helloitsaiza (one shot) (ruikasa)

Eternal sunshine - helloitsaiza (One shot) (emunene)

Special shout-out because Peak Emunene I’m actually obsessed with it.

Confess, Confess - helloitsaiza (In progress) (ruikasa)

Yours - helloitsaiza and calculatrice (one shot) (ruikasa)

Backstage after the curtain call - calculatrice (One shot) (ruikasa)

To sear the sky - calculatrice (One shot) (ruikasa)

A study in performance - calculatrice (One shot) (ruikasa)

Funhouse mirror - calculatrice (in progress) (no relationship focus, wxs & niigo)

Special shout-out because tsukasa + mafuyu body swap is such a galaxy brained idea

Rui’s doki-doki seishun school life - calculatrice (one shot) (ruikasa)

^ read all of these they go so hard 10/10

Because it’s you - sleepy_macchi (one shot) (ruikasa)

Act I of our story - Asteromeda (one shot) (ruikasa)

The show must go on - literallyjustsomeguy (in progress but it’s been like 2 years so it might be abandoned) (ruikasa)

I don’t like recommending stuff that may remain unfinished but I’ll make an exception for very funny tsukasa tenma stupidity moments

X marks the spot - seatrix (in progress) (ruikasa)

Underrated… love the characterization & plot.

Voted most likely to run away with you - eightyeightstars (one shot) (ruikasa)

Sharing is caring - underwaternature (one shot) (ruikasa)

Tête-à-tête - kuiperbelts (one shot) (ruikasa)

Also recommend the authors other works I just really like the tsukasa characterization in this one

All I want (is you) - sorasekai (one shot) (emunene)

Recommend their other works as well for good emunene

Ikanaide - gummysaur (finished) (tsukasa focus, gen wxs)

Also recommend their other works but (chefs kiss) tsukasa characterization

Closeness - lyriablackfrost (one shot) (ruikasa)

Find out who you are, and then do it on purpose - weepingstars (transfem rui focus, gen wxs)

And I will still live here - utayoru (one shot) (ruikasa)

Their other works are good as well but this is a fave for the early pjsk days rui characterization

With me all along - jeiseny (one shot) (saki focus, gen)

SAKI… (ugly crying) beautiful exploration of chronic illness. And it doesn’t focus on her fucking brother (staring with homicidal intent @ wider pjsk fanbase). Made me go ouuggh relatable several times.

[yurious-george]

4'33'', by John Cage, is commonly remembered as 4 and a half minutes of silence. But contrary to popular belief, the song is not actually meant to be the sound of silence, but the sound of quiet. Ambient noises contribute to - and consist of - the performance. True silence does not exist. If one tilts their head right, the whole world sings. and, with that said, a playlist.

yeah, this one's a doozy. hi, cubewatermelon and co. miss me?

rhetorical question. don't answer that.

A few nitty-gritty things out of the way, first. this is specifically intended for the 2018 mod team for the sleepless domain fans discord server, primarily cubewatermelon/mary cagle. Folks who knew me are welcome to look on, but I'm not going to do much to catch people up to speed. hi, everyone! hope you're well!

I also might be a bit disjointed or biased in my recollection. For reasons that will be made clear extremely soon, I can't put my childhood on a linear timeline. I can only express myself, and hope I don't mess it up horribly this time.

Noooowww to the big stuff. re: stalking; i genuinely didn't mean to stalk anyone, and when they told me to back off, i backed off. I am not willing to discuss this further. not being able to conceptualize other people's emotions or the consequences of my actions has caused some problems for me

that's an autism thing btw. im autistic i dont think i told anyone that

And now, the special guest you've all been waiting for: a big round of applause for the elephant in the room! In accordance with the WMA Declaration of Tokyo, the deliberate overprescription of psychotropic medication is a form of pharmacological torture. Most victims of pharmacological torture and experimentation are children, because it is nigh-impossible to sue for brain damage when there is no fully-formed adult brain for comparison prior to the abuse.

Torture is a strong word, but I don't have another word to use. psychiatric abuse usually describes mistreatment in psychiatric wards; pharmacological abuse describes a patient who takes advantage of a prescription; medical abuse is when a doctor (usually physically) abuses their patient. Being able to understand what happened to you is a form of agency, and I don't even have the words. I identify as a torture victim; this may change.

This high dose was precedented and legal, but the vaginal stretching of intersex infants is also legal. much involuntary psychiatric & psychotropic treatment (such as restraints and solitary confinement) are legal, and child marriage is legal. abuse is not abnormal: it is profoundly normal. Because something is normal, legal, and precedented does not prevent it from being torture.

and when your mother hands you a poison apple and says "here, eat this; it will be good for you; i hope someday you'll forgive me" you have to eat it, because you are eight years old and you don't get to argue with your mother. despite all this, I don't blame my aunt for refilling the high dose. when I said the dose was hurting me, she listened. (thank you, auntie. i wouldn't have gotten out without you.)

And this brings us to you. oh, you four. (five? i forget myself!)

I'd like to establish some context. I was used to things getting taken from me. friend groups in particular: I didn't expect to keep any friends, because I constantly expected to have to pack up and move on. I moved a lot in my childhood, and in Africa, i was constantly told that at some undetermined point in the near future, i'd have to go back to the states. living with my aunt was a temporary thing, i was expected to eventually move back in with my parents at some undetermined point in the future. I relied heavily on online friends because they were people I could have anywhere, so online communities were my only lifeline - not to mention, i was basically in solitary confinement while in Kenya.

Most of all, I was terrified of my mental health/actions being exposed, examined, found lacking, and ultimately excluded. (this is why i was so afraid of psychiatric wards.) When you decided something had to be done about me - cutting me off from the server so i had to speak with you - It was either comply with your demands to communicate (which I could not, and did not understand why) or lose the community. I was so, so afraid of you i wanted to die when you all confronted me, and of course i couldn't say that, because only manipulative people would say "your attempt to solve this problem makes me want to seriously hurt myself."

But then I got called manipulative anyway <3 yay <3

Seriously: I wasn't trying to manipulate anyone, and i have no idea how you can manipulate someone without intention. (ah, that felt good to say!) Between medication spellbinding, alexithymia, and prior abuse, all my thoughts were so disordered i genuinely couldn't explain myself most of the time. Looking back, I have no childhood memory where I was fully lucid. I leaned into a manic persona because it was the only way I had any agency at all. I was something beyond both reason and self-recognition, and I willingly tried to brute-force my way through an extreme trauma response to please you. And you still hit me with my worst nightmare. that's why i was mad at you lol

I was so, so afraid, all the time, and I didn't even have the tools to understand I was afraid. How could someone as confident and impulsive as me be so fearful all the time? Was that manic persona freedom? Or was it a longer leash?

(Forgive my impulse toward rhetoric. I shouldn't ask questions you can't answer.)

I also couldn't say how badly i was hurting, because that would be venting, but you also accused me of venting when I was just talking about my day? or what was on my mind? I didn't understand that very well. autism moment, don't bother explaining it now. I also couldn't burden people with my actual mental health problems, because making strangers deal with that would be toxic! I resent you for setting up a system where it seemed safest not to speak and then punishing me for my inability to communicate. I resent every system that set me up for failure and punished me for failing, including yours.

And yet - I know that was not your intent! I can see in retrospect how hard you tried to be kind using the tools you had. The people with power over me, who genuinely did not want to do me harm and gave me multiple second chances, still upheld and facilitated the systems that tortured me; a miniature parody of the psychiatric system. (talk therapy and communication are useless if you struggle with self-awareness.) The same is true for the source: No person in my psychiatric treatment wanted me to suffer, and yet, here I am: a torture victim without a torturer. (except my parents, sort of.)

The logical conclusion, then: the system only intends to heal those who are already compliant, or prioritize compliance. The rest of us are treated to induce compliance, and if we still cannot, we are sequestered away. My medicine made me sick, and my prescribers made money off of keeping me sick - off of my torture. This is not a conspiracy: it is my lived experience.

However, even if i could communicate perfectly, we still would have had massive communication issues. Like - you know that one page where ben and steffi talk about dating, and ben says he thought steffi was gay? and steffi gets super defensive and it escalates into a screaming fight? I found that offensive, because a character getting that offput by the concept of not liking men (or a man) is kind of lesbophobic! But I understood that it would be a pain to redraw/write the page so they they fight about something else, don't fight, or some other solution, so i didn't need it to be fixed - just wanted to point out that was a reasonable interpretation, and one to be aware of in the future. but somehow my concerns got interpreted as a phrasing issue…? like, Ms. Cagle rewrote the page to say "weren't into guys" instead of "gay"..? You were very polite about it, Ms! But I found this interaction so baffling I didn't even try to correct it. that… wasn't what i said…

frankly we should bring back mildly homophobic steffi. twas narratively appropriate (<- different essay for a different time)

but yeah the whole communication operation was doomed from the start. rip!

The issue was always my inability to communicate, but my meds made it nigh-impossible to understand what I was feeling, and when I did, expressing myself could get me institutionalized. My suffering was inevitable but always, somehow, my fault. Awesome! *disintegrates into a pile of sand*

I cannot deny I was a girl like a box of matches waiting to be struck. You had no choice but to do as you did. But is it really what you ought to have done? (On this, I have no answer. I hope you have one that satisfies you.)

(that was genuine, by the by. i've spent a lot of time pondering this mess, and I still haven't found the "right" answer. I don't think there is one - though action or inaction, there is no version of this story where I don't suffer. I can only hope it was worth it. wait, hold on *adds the omelas child to my Kin List*)

Nor can I deny making my previous open letter in a small attempt to 'get back' at you - i'm not above that. lord knows i'm not innocent. but i really was trying to channel that rage into something productive. unfortunately i was doomed to fail because i didn't know what i meant. if you showed me that letter now, you'd hear a lot of "what? I don't know why I said that" "i have no idea why i would complain about something so minor" etc. You can disregard all that. This is what I was trying to say. the obsession, the trauma, the projection: all of it. So much of my obsession was talking around an issue i couldn't identify.

(meguka image) I know now

I knew I would be traumatized by this whole situation. I saw it coming and i could do nothing to stop it. But Gear was crucial to deciphering all this - in fact, suddenly thinking about her last year prompted me to really dissect my medical situation and realize i was tortured. I couldn't have done it without her. cassie & maggie, against the world.

Gear scans surprisingly well as a victim of long-term torture, actually. I don't think you meant to do that but good job!

speaking of her - i still don't think she's consistently suicidal. she's a real cockroach of a character, and I love her for it! But sometimes, i want to die and i want to live mean the same thing, because they both mean i need to get out of here. Imo, her thought processes and desires frequently contradict themselves, like mine did. and making your favs kill themselves in increasingly gruesome ways is really fun catharsis!

But please don't take this to mean I consider myself - or Gear - blameless. I love her because she's not blameless, because she's cruel for fun, because she'd rather be wicked than helpless. Like knows like. What I mean to say is, as of 2018, there is a black space between little Margret and Gear, and I saw all the signs of something very, very bad happening in that space. I know because I shared that space. what I mean to say is, teenage girls don't go out of their minds over nothing. Everything I made here is just an expression of what I heard in the narrative's silences.

and thus my biggest apprehension around revisiting the comic. knowing the author and I have such fundamentally different experiences with mental health - what if the signs of torture i picked up on weren't intended, or i completely made them up? what if, in the parts i haven't read yet, there's information that uproots my entire interpretation, or berates her for refusing mental health services that hurt me profoundly? how do you reconcile that a character so crucial to deciphering yourself may not be anything like you at all? I Don't Know. Shitpost, probably

You're welcome to share those shitposts and whatnot by the way. Creating this let me put down years of hurt, and i hope it relieves you, too. I don't need to go back on the server, or forgiveness, or anything besides understanding. consider this a peace offering. the terms are yours.

Despite writing nearly 10k words, I still probably missed something or was callous or whatever. Self-expression and self-understanding are… new to me. My apology may be understated, but please take it as I meant it, with utmost sincerity. My askbox is open, and I'm more than happy to discuss antipsych resources, KB, What The Hell Is Wrong With Gear, artistic choices made in this comic, etc. I'm even down to reconnect on discord! Maybe. Uh, I'm conflicted. I reserve my right to not want to talk, be slow in responding, and so on, as should you. we've no obligations and all the time in the world. Let neither of us hurt ourselves in meeting because it's the "right" thing to do. I'm not blaming anyone or trying to start drama. If it would give you the most peace of mind to completely ignore this, please do so.

or, translated: as of right now, I'm not ready for any information about KB after steffi reunites with her dad, or difficult emotional reunions. I would really like to hear from everyone, and I'd appreciate casual well-wishes. I don't want things to be the same, I want them to be peaceful. Baby steps, cassie, baby steps. (very large and fearful prey animal tries not to run into oncoming traffic)

mostly, making this was for me. Perhaps I've said too much, but after spending so long unable to express myself freely, my art was cathartic and necessary. I'm no one's martyr or innocent, I'm just a torture victim trying to make sense of it all. I want to articulate some thoughts I couldn't figure out how to say before and make some silly things that make people laugh. Most of all, I'm happy in ways I never thought I could be, and I would like to share that joy with old acquaintances and other fans of a story I adored.

What I mean to say is: The train's about to leave the station, and there's an empty seat beside me. The train will still leave whether or not you board; but I would be honored not to go it alone!

Thank you to everyone who stuck by me even after the drama. Ethel, Felipe, Chris - even though we've fallen out of contact, your kindness and patience meant more than i can say. special thank you to @stars-in-a-jam-jar, the first person i confessed everything to after the smoke cleared, and someone i consider myself close with no matter how long we fall out of contact. My close online friends, @shafpanda, @theoandmoon, @dvanaestmrva, my honorary cousin @my-name-is-jimmy, and everyone else I confided in about my torture. and, of course, my partners @transloo and @teenyjellyfishy, and my little sibling, @aroacenezhaanddainsleif, the three people I love most in the world. Thank you, all. it is an honor to love you, and be loved by you.

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

*bitch who only thinks about vocaloid voice* wow i'm getting a lot of vocaloid vibes from this...

[roychewtoy]

shots from simons flickr account

[suntraitor]

that scene with cyn/the solver and uzi at the very end where the solver/cyn is still a part of uzi.... so OSSDID/System coded fr fr.... im going insane abt it. im so autistical abt this

please please PLEASE send me asks abt this i am so eager to talk to ppl abt it

(rambles in tags)

[aeolianblues]

BLEEEEEHHHHBRGHHH

[faaun]

i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao

[coco-chip]

and they wonder why they keep getting kicked out of the groupchat 🙄🙄

[shannonsketches]

something something foils moving in opposite directions Goku's always happy to seek and fight stronger opponents because he spent most of his life being the strongest guy in the room and Vegeta wants to be the strongest/is always exhausted to find stronger opponents because he spent most of his life having to navigate his survival around the whims of the strongest guy in the universe room and so Goku has a foundation of safety and stability and so spends his time craving challenge and adventure and Vegeta has a foundation of challenge and adventure and spends his time craving safety and stability and the overlaid section of their venn diagram is that the only way they know how acquire and maintain those things is through battle

[moe-broey]

Also @ my it takes Sharena to break free from the "Gustav was a good man/Father" Askr family unreliable narrator hivemind. That the Main Reason she can't/doesn't is because it's the One Thing that's protecting her. That's stopping her from having a catastrophic world/life fucking breakdown about it. Heavily influenced by her brother and mother's feelings about it.

There's something else, I think Sharena is specifically protecting herself from too. She was Triandra's sister, too.

[shmowder]

The urge to headcanon every pathologic character as aroallo is getting harder to resist each day

They'd each fall differently on the Aversed/Neutral/favoured spectrum for romance. Some would go for a relationship, and others would prefer a fwb situation. Some are poly by default while others prefer monogomy.

[spinninglightning]

whenever i read fics i always end up thinkin of a song for the fic or like, th chapter and then i canr stop associating the fic w/ those songs

[marxandangels]

There are so many fucking neurotypical clinicians out there assessing for adhd/autism who have never had a close, meaningful relationship with someone who’s autistic and/or has adhd. And frankly I think that should be required if that’s gonna be the main part of your career. Like I have adhd (and am probably autistic but that’s a new funky fresh existential crisis) but that honestly isn’t the biggest reason I understand and can talk about adhd/autism; the biggest reason is bc of the relationships I have/have had with people who do. It’s not a list of prescriptive symptoms and behaviors, it’s an internal experience and you have to know someone well for them to share that with you

[3416]

not to let my own insecurity take over for a second but i'm going batshit over the idea of having someone you trust and respect enough to take their constructive criticism to heart without letting it damage your ego... like i know you have to be able to take it in a field like pro sports, but mitch says that about him and auston's friendship with almost. pride? idk. like in a media landscape where all you have to do is breathe and you could be thrown under the bus in a second, like it's nice that mitch has someone to celebrate his highs and push him at his lows though without making it worse.