#but this would make this post a bajillion mile long

[lumpy-veev]

Your Ship in 5 Minutes — Byortis Edition!

The brainrot is strong. I have way too many thoughts, and in turn I will inflict it on you all.

All my thoughts below the cut!

The Checklist!

First to confess their feelings to the other: Mortis. Definitely Mortis. Neither of them like confronting their feelings, but Byron didn’t even realize he gay until he realized he was falling for the old fruit bat. He was perfectly content on letting his feelings sit and fizzle out (they wouldn't), but Mortis confessed first, and he realized “oh, hey... this is something I’m allowed to pursue.”

First to apologize after a fight: Honestly, this one’s a hard one. I think it depends on who started the fight, but sometimes tempers flare and people forget who, or what, started it. Byron’s stubborn, and Mortis is petty, but I feel like Byron’s the kind of person that would internalize everything, and slowly try to pretend that the fight never happened. Mortis, who’s actually been in a relationship before (hc he's amicable exes with Frank), would at some point swallow his pride and say something about it. Mortis would be the first one to verbally apologize.

The more popular/charismatic: Both of them are have enough confidence to channel into charisma, and that charisma, in the right crowd, can become popularity. They’re both super hammy, and definitely capable of being smooth-talking crowdpleasers.

The best caregiver when the other is sick: Byron spends most of his free time making potions and poisons. If Mortis ever got sick, he’d personally whip something up to speedrun the healing process. Extra kisses never hurt!

Does the cooking: Cooking is just non-toxic, non-lethal chemistry, and Byron’s got that down pat. Mortis does have, like, two specific recipes that he does for parties though!

Does the housework: If the Frank and Mortis video is anything to go by, Mortis is not a housework kinda guy. Byron’s fine with it, though, he likes keeping himself busy. But lately, Mortis has been making an effort to chip in more often.

Does most of the speaking: Neither of them need to be spoken for on a good day, and they’ll gladly speak for each other if need be.

The overprotective one: Mortis has been dead! He’s been down there and back! There isn’t much that can seriously hurt him anymore. But Byron is still alive and soft and human, and every time Mortis thinks about that something in his chest twinges painfully. (There’s also the possibility he might outlive Byron, and that’s just something he Does Not Think About). Mortis knows Byron is perfectly capable of taking care of himself, but he's still gonna do whatever he can to make sure he doesn't lose any of the limited time they have together.

Designated driver: Mortis drives like an overconfident college student, and his passengers often fear for their lives (or unlives, if it applies). So for the sakes of the passengers and their peace of minds, Byron takes the wheel.

Has good penmanship: They both can and will write in unnecessarily fancy cursive if given the chance, and you can't change my mind.

Has more experience with relationships: Assuming this means romantic relationships, Mortis does. The closest thing Byron's ever had to a relationship was his parents trying to set him up with some rich noble's daughter when he was younger, and that was shot down real fast.

Sensitive to subtle changes in their partner: Byron’s really good at picking up on subtle changes in peoples’ demeanor. It’s partly what he picked from being a snake-oil salesman, but also partly the fact that the environment he grew up in required him to be able to know things. That’s not to say Mortis is completely dense, people often underestimate how perceptive he is because of how much he acts like a fruit, but sometimes he just misses things (or chooses to miss things).

The one who proposes: Byron really wanted to be the one who proposed because Mortis was the one who confessed. If asked he’d probably say something like “I kept him waiting for too long then, I’ll be damned if I keep him waiting again.” Obviously they talked about marriage beforehand, no one likes a surprise proposal, but Byron’s the one who pops the question.

The one who dies protecting the other: No question, they would die for each other. It depends on who was the one in danger, but both of them would lay their lives down if it meant the other would live. Kinda lessens the impact when they’re both Brawlers and “die” on a regular basis, but if it was the real deal, die-and-you-don’t-come-back kinda situation, no hesitation. You’d better finish the other one off quick though, because you do not just kill a Brawler’s s/o in front of them and expect to come out of that in one piece.

(Box Chart elaborations coming soon!)

[thingr1]

INTEREST POLL: Would anyone be down for a “chapter” fic of my old, incomplete, never before seen Young Justice fics?

(I’m RascalJoy on FFN.)

—————

Back story: My bro and I started rewatching the first season of YJ the other day (aka, the BEST season by a bajillion miles) and I started getting nostalgic and remembering how much I loved the show and how solid the quality (the first season) was and everything. So I started looking through my old YJ fics and I literally have SO MANY STORIES that I haven’t touched since literally 2016 or earlier and will therefore probably never finish (especially ‘cause it’s my old writing style which I’m decidedly less fond of so even if I fill in the blanks I wouldn’t really want it to be considered my “current” writing when I post, and I’m way too lazy and not motivated enough to rewrite everything). But like...they’re not bad, and there are literally some that are upwards of 500, 1000, 3000, 4789 WORDS that are just...sitting there. Growing dust. And I’m considering just...maybe giving them a grammar once over and posting them as is so that they’re out there, and people can read them and maybe even take an idea I’ve abandoned and run with it.

Quite frankly, I’ll probably make the decision on my own anyway. But I’m just seeing if anyone who still remembers my old stuff (and if you’ve followed me that long, major kudos to you and also please tell me who you are because I need to know whyyyyyy are you still here and how did you find me 😂) would want to see something like that.

[apexqueenie]

Through Time (Itachi x FemReader)

Requested by Anon :)

•••

It was a beautiful looking day. Soft sun rays shone through the gaps in your curtains, slowly getting brighter as you cuddled your blankets even tighter, sleep beckoning you back into your wonderful dream-

RRRRIIIIIIIIIIINGGGGGGG

You gasped as you sat up in your bed, heart beating at a bajillion miles per hour. Your cat, Fey, jumped into the air, landing on the floor with a thump. “Screw you freakin alarm clock” you muttered as you turned off the demon creation. You got out of bed and Fey was quick to take the warmth of the empty spot in your bed. Slowly, you made your way to the bathroom to freshen up. You weren’t much for caring about your looks, but you were getting a new home room teacher today...and Itachi was gonna be there…

You pinched your cheeks in frustration. You couldn’t be focused on him right now! You’re gonna be the hokage of the leaf village one day, you couldn’t be worried about something as small and insignificant as boys. Even if that boy excels at every class. Even if he was praised by the entire uchiha clan. Even if he was extremely cute-

“AAAAAAGH STAHP IT!!!” You yelled at the mirror.

You were gonna be late to class at this rate. Pulling yourself together, you managed to do your hair in a neat little ponytail, keeping your eyes clear of any hair that could distract you from learning or cover your gorgeous eyes. With only that and a fresh set of clothes, you set off to school, waving a goodbye to your mother as she brewed her morning tea.

“Hey, I made you breakfast!” She yells. You immediately backtracked and took the instant ramen she steamed from the table. She managed to steal a kiss on your forehead before you left, earning herself an embarrassed “Hey!” Before you rushed out the door, eager to get to school.

Heavens Konoha village was beautiful. Sure it wasn’t the prettiest place, but it was beautiful in the sense that it felt like the definition of home. You wouldn’t trade living here for anywhere else. Everyone around you went about their day peacefully, chattering amongst many familiar faces as they went about their day. Speaking of chatter, there was a whole lot at school. Kids from all different grades buzzing with excitement around the main billboard. Posted on it were the lists in which who was placed in which class and with which teacher, and everyone seemed to be excited about the one additional list on the lower right hand corner.

“Another list! That means a new teacher!”

“It’s been so long since we’ve had a new teacher, who is it?”

“I’m tellin you, that’s a girl's name!”

“I bet she’s hot”

The area was filled with the comments and opinions of the new teacher, but you didn’t listen, you were much more preoccupied with scanning the lists for your name...and his.

(Y/n), (Y/n), (Y/n), (Y/n), (Y/n), (Y/n),.... Ah! There!

You spotted your name in the list under some big bold letter that spelled out ‘Miss Ami’, the supposed new teacher. You would’ve been excited under other circumstances, but you couldn’t be until- YES! Itachi’s name was listed not too far from yours. Now you were excited.

You lingered there, grinning like an idiot and mingling with other students until the first bell rang, signaling a 5 minute period for students to get to their designated classes. You hurried your way to your home room, determined to reach there before anyone else could take your spot from Itachi. Luckily, your effort was rewarded. Itachi, of course being an amazing student, was already sitting near a window in the classroom, an empty spot to his right. You managed to make your way up there without being blatantly obvious (you think) that you desperately wanted that spot.

“Hi Itachi” you squeaked as you put your bags down.

The boy’s whole body jumped a little as you brought him out of his thoughts, but he turned from the window to greet you. “Hello (y/n)” he said, smiling softly.

The two of you exchanged a few words as the classroom began to fill with chippering students. Many of these students have been attending here since early childhood, already forming their own cliques that each took their own section of the area.

“Dude! What’re you doin?” a girl said, getting the attention of many in the class.

She was directing her question towards a boy who was fitting an eraser to the top of the door frame,making it so it would fall down when the door was opened. The boy’s shit eating grin had no shame as he balanced precariously atop a wobbly chair. He chuckled, paying no attention to the girl, deeming his work done and stepping off the chair. “It's gonna be so awesome! She’s gonna walk right in and BOOF” he said, motioning an explosion with his arms and laughing maniacally.

Footsteps sounded from the other side of the door and everyone quieted down, some holding their breath in anticipation. The door slid open and a lightning quick hand reached up to grab the eraser faster than anyone can process, leaving everyone bewildered. A beautiful woman walked in, jet black hair framing her face as her dark eyes scanned the room. She didn’t wear anything extravagant, just a simple black and white outfit, yet she could easily be spotted within a crowd. A ‘Tsk, tsk’ sounded from her mouth, tossing the eraser back to the railing underneath the chalkboard as she walked behind the main desk.

“I see this class has some personality,” she says, placing both hands on her hips, “so who did it?”

The class immediately pointed to the boy, his grin completely wiped off his face.

The teacher looked over to the student, smirking a bit. “As a soon to be ninja, you really should be a bit less obvious.”

Her arm swung at the ceiling and the boy found a chalkboard eraser bouncing off his head. The students looked up, finding dozens of erasers, one for each of them, hanging from thin strings. The teacher swung her arm back and caught a kunai in her right hand, the long string she pulled on swinging from the handle. “Welcome everyone, to your last year of ninja school. I’m Miss Ami, but you will address me as ‘Sensei’.”

***

Class with Ami Sensei was ruthless. Erasers dropped from the ceiling almost every day now, and even you had some dropped on your head a few times, which was embarrassing considering that you sat next to Itachi. You swear, that boy was an angel in the classroom. His eraser still hung the way it was from the first day of class, dust collecting at the top of it. You were grateful however, for him being your partner. Whether it was sparring or studying, he treated you as an equal. Apparently, Miss Ami had noticed this little chemistry between the two of you and often had the both of you run errands for her, allowing you guys time out of class to spend together. It gave both of you a chance to talk about cute little things while you delivered papers.

She’d also been asking you to “help” her grade papers after class… which was really just an excuse to talk about this gossip.

She rests her head in her hand, pen in the other as she lazily stares at the paper in front of her. “So.... how was class with your loverboy today (y/n)?” she says, making another mark across the paper.

“Uh, it was ok I guess” you shrugged, sharpening the pile of pencils she asked you to do. “Do you really think he likes me though?”

Miss Ami smiled, “I think he does, I mean, he works with you all the time doesn’t he?”

“Yeah but like, I sit next to him-”

“Ugh, just ask him already! A ninja’s life is only so long.”

“But-”

“What if you never confess? He goes on a ninja mission, and he finds…”

“What?” you gasp

“No, can’t tell you that, oh no”

“Hey-”

“He finds another beautiful ninja woman!!!” she interrupts, scaring you with her hands like she was telling a ghost story.

You instinctively threw the pencil you were holding at her, and she caught it with ease, chuckling to herself as she leaned back in her chair. Her smile died down easily though, worrying you. “What’s wrong Sensei?” you ask.

She looked over to you with a small smile. “I just...I can’t stay here for much longer (y/n). I just hope I can stay long enough to see this ship sail.” She chuckled. An odd choice of words, but you understood what she meant.

But her saying she couldn’t stay here much longer…? Now that made absolutely no sense, she’s supposed to be a year long teacher. You opened your mouth to ask, but she stood up, stacking the pile of papers she had and shoving them in her drawer.

“Thanis for sharpening my pencils, I always get splinters when I do it,” she said, walking towards the door. You placed the pencils you were working on in another drawer and followed her, still wondering what she meant by that.

You walked what you thought was the path home, but you were so busy lost in your thoughts that you hadn’t realised you wandered into a different area of the village. “Shoot” you whispered to yourself, your mom was gonna freak. You looked around, giving your surroundings a good look to determine where you need to head to when-

“Hey”

You yelped and turned around, seeing a very familiar pair of eyes. “Itachi?” you ogled, “...Hi…”

An awkward tension hung in the air, making you both feel a little uncomfortable, well, maybe just you. The two of you hadn’t really met each other outside of class, so naturally, you were at a complete loss for words.

“Uhm...I kinda got lost on the way back home from school,” you said, desperate to fill up the silence. You watched as he walked right past you, seeming as if he ignored you until he turned back around and beckoned you to follow him.

“H-hey,” you said, walking to catch up with him, “where are we going?”

The path ahead led straight ahead, but Itachi turned right, stepping into some bushes and disappearing. You followed as best you could through the twists and turns he took through konoha, but boy was he fast.

“Geez, slow down Itachi” you said, slightly out of breath. You looked up to the sight of Itachi holding Fey in his arms.

“Your cat led me on this exact path once.” He said, stroking Fey behind the ears. He set her down and she immediately headed inside, not even acknowledging you were there. Typical. “I’ll see you in class tomorrow (y/n).” He said, turning around.

You were about to head inside too when you remembered Ami’s words. ‘I can’t stay here for much longer (y/n). I just hope I can stay long enough to see this ship sail.’

“Itachi?” you called. You couldn’t pass up this good of a chance. You felt like you were in a movie, just you, and him. How the hell were you going to become the hokage if you couldn’t confess your feelings to just one boy? “Thank you for walking me back, you’re just so kind and smart and amazing. I feel like I can do anything when I’m around you. I just...” you closed your eyes and balled up your fists, summoning every ounce of courage you had left in your system, “I really like you Itachi!”

As soon as you said it, you began to doubt your decision, wondering how bad of a position you may have put him in. You were just friends after all, classmates who did projects together because you happened to sit next to him. Moments pass and he hasn’t said a word, still, you kept your eyes closed, praying that he’d say something. You felt a slight tap on your forehead and you opened your eyes. Itachi’s two fingers were hovering close to your face.

“I think I do too,” he says with a cute smile.

He turns around and walks around a corner, leaving you with a heavy blush as you hold your forehead. You entered your house, smiling like an idiot and freaking your mom out. You couldn’t wait to tell Ami tomorrow.

***

The very next day, you rushed to school early, excited to share this news with your teacher. The few students who were at school just as early as you were gave you looks as you sped down the hall, wondering why someone was so excited so early. You slid the door open a little too fast, nearly pushing it off its hinges, but you were too giddy to care.

“Sensei! I did it! I told him and can you believe it?! He likes me back!” You announced, closing the door behind you just as fast as you opened it.

But the teacher didn’t return the same excitement. She was hunched over, holding a picture with both of her hands as if it’ll disappear if she didn’t. “I know,” she says, “I was there”

“Huh?” You said, unsure how to feel.

“I was...just making sure you made it home safely. Not trying to be a creep or anything, I just felt kind of responsible for leaving you to walk home alone distracted” she says softly, still staring at the photo.

Carefully, you made your way over to your teacher, gazing at the picture she held. It was a photo of a younger her proudly blowing out the candles on her birthday cake next to a woman whose face was covered with Ami’s thumb. Was this why she was leaving?

“No matter what I do, no matter how many times I try, my father never completely shows up in this picture” she sighs.

You were about to ask what she meant by that until you looked closer. On the other side of Ami was a faint silhouette of a man, his hand resting on her shoulder, but there were no creases, no indents in the fabric to indicate a solid being. His figure blended with the background so well that if you moved your line of sight too much, he’d be invisible.

“Every time I think I’m close, he fades away again and leaves us alone here.” She chokes, a tear sliding down her face and onto the photo. She was right. The bottom half of the man was already disappearing.

You place a hand on her arm, giving it a slight squeeze. “I’m sure he loved you both” you say, still unsure of what the heck was going on.

Ami sniffs and uses a hand to wipe away the tears, still covering the face of the other lady. “Yeah, I know he does, I just wish he didn’t keep so many secrets from us. I swear,I won’t stop trying to make this right-”

A flutter of wings came from the open window of the classroom, interrupting her thought.You were so caught up in the moment that you hadn’t realized the slight breeze in the room. A crow landed on the windowsill, its beady eyes looking straight at Ami.

“Shit, is it time already?” Ami asks, looking at the bird. It said nothing as it tilted its head, its gaze still locked onto her face. She sighs, wiping the rest of her tears and slipping the photo in her back pouch. Walking over to the bird, she gives it soft pets along its wings with the back of her fingers. She looks over to you with a bittersweet expression, as if trying to remember every detail of your face. “I’ll see you back at home, Mom.”

You blink and suddenly the room was empty, air completely still. Your body did a double take as you leaned over the desk, only it wasn’t a desk, it was a podium. What the…? Was there always a podium here? You scanned the rest of the classroom, searching for any signs of anything familiar. The erasers on the ceiling- wait, there were erasers up there? What erasers? The memories- they began to disappear one by one, leaving you in a vicious loop of deja vu. You slid down the front of the podium, breathing heavily as you tried to stop your head from spinning.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” a voice said. You turned around to see Itachi walk in, his bag loosely slung on his shoulder.

“Did you...did you see Ami?” You asked shakily

“Ami..?” He echoed, tilting his head, “what does she look like?”

“She…” you started, but her image was gone from your mind. “I, I don’t remember...I don’t even know what I was talking about” u say, shaking your head. “Whose class is this?”

Itachi walks over to and sits down beside you, shoulders touching. “Do you need to go down to the nurse? Memory loss could be the cause of something life threatening” he says, dead serious.

For some reason, his little pout makes you giggle. He’s taken aback by your sudden change in mood, widening his eyes in embarrassment.

“Was that another joke I didn’t get?” He asks. “You know I’m bad at jokes”

“No Itachi, it’s not” you say, giving him a cheeky smile.

He narrows his eyes at you, doubting your response, but eventually returns your smile.

The two of you continue conversing as the classroom begins to fill with students. Rumors about the two of you dating began to spread since then. Girls often avoided you, jealous that you scored a Uchiha before they could, desperately trying to find a flaw within you that would drive your boy away, but neither of you cared. The both of you together were a force to be reckoned with..

***

Ami’s eyesight went pitch black before the colors of her bedroom gradually began to return. The ancient relic she found, a small pocket watch, still grasped tightly around her right hand. That’s five times so far that she has tried to change the past, and all of them failed. Bringing you and dad together earlier didn’t do squat, his image remained barely visible in the photo.

She tossed the watch onto her dresser in frustration, turning to lay in bed without seeing the figure standing right beside it. The watch was caught in midair, chains swinging from the sudden impact.

“You’re quite the time traveler aren’t you?” A monotone voice says.

Ami turns to the familiar voice, recognizing her father as he examines the artifact in his right hand.

“Dad?” She says, bewildered.

Itachi continues to stare at the watch, turning it over in his hands. “The more you use this, the more time is taken away from your life, you know this right?”

“...you have some nerve you know, not coming by for five years,” Ami says, curling her fists at her sides, “first it was days, then months, now you aren’t here for years. People are starting to think mom got pregnant with a deadbeat off the streets-“

“Your mother is a strong woman, she knows that people’s opinions don’t change the truth. I know my daughter knows this as well.” He says, slipping the watch into his robes.

She looks down in frustration. Sure it doesn’t, but the hate still hurts. The words still linger in her head, sometimes swaying her to believe in those lies. Ami clenches her teeth, ready to snap at her father but he steps towards her faster than she could collect her thoughts, reaching a hand out to place on her shoulder.

“Ami,” he says. Instinctively, she looks up, straight into Itachi’s sharingan. “Sleep” he orders. Immediately, her body slumps forward, unconscious. Itachi was ready to catch her, tucking her into bed just as he used to when she was younger.

It was already late at night, about 10pm if he remembered correctly. He found you in bed, already snuggled up, laying on your right side in the blankets. The moon casted a soft glow on your resting face, your hair spread out on the pillow behind you shining as well. Your blanket accented your curves nicely, pure eye candy to your husband’s eyes. In other words, you were, and always have been, the most beautiful woman in the entire world.

Quietly, he took off his Akatsuki robes and placed them neatly folded on top of the dresser. He climbed into the bed with you, snuggling your smaller body into his chest, his chin resting atop your head.

“Itachi?” You mumbled sleepily. You found his left hand in the dark to feel for the wedding band on his ring finger.

You felt the vibrations of his throat as he hummed, shifting to kiss the top of your head.

“Did you know our daughter was messing with timelines?” He says into your hair.

“I’ve had my suspicions” you sigh, “you took whatever she was using away right?”

“Mhmm”

“Good… she’s being grounded in the morning”

“She’s a grown woman (y/n).”

“Well she hasn’t moved out yet”

Itachi gave you a small chuckle, making your heart warm. It was moments like these that you would die for. Moments where your husband didn’t have to be a heartless killer. Moments where he could be his true self. You turned to face him and without a second to spare, pouring all your love for him into a deep kiss. No matter what tries to keep you apart, the two of you loved each other. No alternate timelines were ever gonna change that.

Extra:

:)

“What’re u doin mom?” Ami asks

You sat on the couch looking through an old photo album. The book was pretty thick, containing memories from back when you and Itachi were doing C ranked missions.

“Just some old pictures” you replied.

Your daughter plopped herself on the couch next to you to see. You specifically looked at pictures of Ami’s early childhood for a reason.

“She carries around a picture I regretfully wasn’t in, trying to change the past. Give her this one so she can remember the past instead.” Your husband says before he handed you the photo and gave you a kiss goodbye.

You flip to the page the photo was on, catching your daughter’s attention.

“I’ve never seen this one before.” She says, taking the photo out of its protective covering.

She stares at it, a photo of her as a little girl, not much older than four, sitting on her father’s lap. You sit right next to him, your head leaning against his shoulder while you hold the camera button in one hand as far down the photo as you could. Itachi gently held both her tiny hands in between his fingers, too preoccupied smiling at his daughter to smile at the camera. Both you and Itachi looked so content, no one would’ve ever guessed that he was part of a group of dangerous S-ranked criminals.

“Huh, you guys had the really old cameras” she says

“You trying to imply something there young lady?” You cocked an eyebrow.

She laughs and slips the photo in her back pocket, “nah.” she said, leaning against your arm to look at more memories. For once, she wasn’t thinking of going back to the past.

A/n: thank you so much for this prompt, it was defenitley a challenge to create😊. I didn’t wanna give away the prompt in the beginning cuz I felt like you’d guess pretty early on the plot twist hehe. I hope y’all enjoyed and thank you for reading❤️

Prompt:

[misssophiachase]

Gifs above from the brilliant Moni @joey-prue  not mine! 

Truth or Dare

How good was our Klaroline road trip? So, just before the recent episode I was asked what my hopes and dreams were and responded HERE. I can’t help but think what could have been based on the awesome episode and also my road trip ideas so I just had to write it. Hope you like it : ) 

Dialogue from the episode interspersed, but most is mine. Points of view will alternate. I might just be prepared for part 2 if interested (my preview post will let you know what may or may not be coming)...

 Somewhere near mile marker 79, outskirts of New Orleans, LA

“Must you play with the radio, Mikaelson?” She asks banging her hand on the steering wheel, her frustrated tone not lost on Klaus. The Original hybrid thinks he’s minding his own business but obviously he’s found some way to annoy his travelling companion. 

It feels like old times and for some reason he’s content, even as everything unfolds with his truant daughter. 

When Caroline came to him earlier, Klaus had initially been buoyed. After all, this was the second time they’d met in as many weeks; first in France and now his beloved hometown of New Orleans. The same place he promised to show her one day. Klaus didn’t think it was possible to be so in love with her still but he was, the fact she smelled and looked so heavenly was only toying further with his fragile emotions. If only the circumstances of their reunion had been different he might have kept his promise.  

“I see you have the headmistress act down, love,” he replies, lazily. For someone who’s in an extremely bad mood, Caroline can’t miss the slight tugging at the corners of his crimson lips. Ass. One for touching her stuff and two for drawing her attention to that mouth she still remembers so well.  

Showing up in New Orleans had been a difficult decision, she was caught between being the responsible principal of his daughter’s school and revisiting her very present feelings. Being close to him again was a challenge to say the least. France had been difficult enough and now here she was again tempting fate and trying not to imagine him naked wearing only a dimpled smile. 

She chooses not to respond, only prompting Klaus to elaborate on his many issues.  “Look, if the music was a little better, I might be tempted not to touch,” he hisses, pressing all the buttons at once and giving it an extra hit for good measure.  

“Sorry I don’t have any of your one thousand year-old favourites on my playlist,” she mutters, sarcastically.  “I swear if you break it, you bought it,” she snaps, clearly feeling somewhat out of control having to drive while he fiddles with god knows what, he always did love that control-freak side to her, amongst others.  

“You realise that even if I do break the radio, with your substantial vampire capabilities you can easily acquire another?” 

“That’s not the point,” she murmurs.  

Like that night you asked for a prom dress, he thinks, but doesn’t verbalise. 

Klaus is struggling with the myriad of memories racing through his mind, she always has that effect on him, again amongst others. 

“Seriously, you’re worse than my students who think it’s okay to get through life purely on supernatural powers alone.”

“Well, I can’t completely disagree…” 

“Of course you can’t but I suppose after being on this earth for a bajillion years you don’t know any better.” Again the memories race back.

Like the supposed fifty bajillion messages he left on her phone after mistakenly being staked by Silas. 

“I realise there’s an age difference, love, but no need to rub my nose in it,” he quips. 

“You started it, grouchy,” she replies childishly, but he can’t miss the sly smile she flashes in the rear view mirror. 

“Apologies for my impatience, I’m just plotting how I’ll kill this boy when I find him. Skinning seems to be the preferred option before ripping out his heart.” 

“What did we discuss about those unhealthy thoughts?” 

“Not to have or entertain them, but have you met me, sweetheart? We all know that was wishful thinking on your part,” he chuckles. “Or I could throw on some petrol and set him alight before a nice stake to the heart?” 

“You are having way too much fun at my expense, although I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.” She grins surprisingly. “Maybe you just need something to take your mind off those death wishes?”

“I’m listening…” And he actually is, in fact his mind is going a million miles a minute wondering just what she is going to suggest. Klaus can definitely suggest a few tactics to keep them both occupied.

“I think we should play a game,” she suggests, turning to glance at him briefly before returning her concentration on the road ahead.  

“I’m listening…” if he had a heartbeat, Klaus knew his heart would be racing right now. What could she possibly have in mind?  

“Oh, so now you decide to be quiet and stop ruining my stuff,” she scoffs. “How about Eye Spy? I was the Eye Spy champion three years running in primary school.” Klaus isn’t surprised given her competitive nature, another thing he finds eternally endearing about the bubbly blonde. 

“I don’t doubt that,” he shares, a knowing smile escaping his lips. “But I have a feeling it’s not going to quite cut it in terms of keeping my mind fully occupied.”

“Trust me, you will,” she offers. “You go first.” Klaus sighs knowing she means well in all of her Caroline Forbes perkiness but he’s disappointed this is her first choice. He gives her another look and the raise of her eyebrows tells Klaus she’s back in headmistress mode. 

“I spy…” he falters. 

“With my little eye…” he gives her a look which plainly says he’s not one of her younger students she needs to prompt. 

“Are you going to let me finish?”

“Call it the competitive, teacher in me.”

“You don’t say,” he growls. “Fine, I spy with my little eye something beginning with R.”

“Really Klaus? You couldn’t have thought of anything more original than road?”

“How do you know it isn’t road but some brilliant idea you’re never going to guess?”

“Because I was the eye spy champion 3 years…”

“In a row, I got that, Caroline,” he shoots back, not bothering to hide his sarcasm. “Of course I can come up with something else but I would rather name all the ways I can kill that boy starting with the letter R if I’m being truly honest.”

“Fine, what will get your mind off maiming your daughter’s boyfriend then?” 

“Certainly not calling him that,” Klaus replies, emitting a low wolf like growl and Caroline knows she’s gone too far. 

“What can I say, old habits die hard, spoil sport,” she mutters. “What do you want to play?” 

He stills for a moment and suddenly she’s feeling self conscious about how he’s interpreting her rather loaded question given their past. Damn him for being so gorgeous in that henley and making her want to do things she’s only dreamt about.

Klaus is finding it difficult to breathe, mainly because his arousal is growing steadily and threatening to escape his jeans and give his intentions away.  What does she expect saying something so suggestive and looking so delectable? 

He’s long dreamt of games they could play together, even a car scenario wasn’t completely out of the realms of possibility in his mind. 

“Fine,” he coughs, attempting to regain some control of the situation. “Truth or dare.”

“You cannot be serious,” she drawls by way of response.

“I’m deathly serious love, what do you have to hide?”

“Next you’ll suggest spin the bottle,” she scoffs, avoiding the question, a healthy blush crossing her face yet again and doing nothing to contain his budding excitement. 

“That was my first choice but unfortunately no bottle,” he teases, sending her a wolfish grin from the passenger seat.  

“I have nothing to hide,” she murmurs. “You’re going to wish you never challenged me Mikaelson, I win everything I play.”

Caroline wasn’t so confident; in fact she was terrified. Terrified of the fact that Klaus would see right through her and the feelings she’d kept so carefully hidden for years. But now they were alone, emotions threatening to be laid bare and she wasn’t quite sure how she was going to talk her way out of this.

“I suppose we’ll have to wait and see,” he boasts. 

Klaus knows from their past, he was the one who was always honest, always wore his heart on his sleeve. It was Caroline who continuously hid their burgeoning attraction and if anyone had anything to lose, it was her. 

“Do you regret the time we spent together?  

“Seriously?” She stalls, her blue eyes widening. “Okay, if it'll take your mind off of wanting to murder an innocent teenage boy, then no, I don't regret our time together.” 

Klaus is fairly certain he feels his heart torn from his chest given the loud interruption but the steering wheel is moving erratically and he knows it’s something more mechanical. 

If the universe was listening to their conversation, Klaus was fairly certain it had a plan and he wasn’t altogether upset about the interruption. 

[blackcoffeeandblankpagess]

A lot of stuff

Hellooooo internet it’s been a hot minute and I haven’t been on here too much so here are some things

Tumblr

Lately I’ve been taking some space from this space (hah) and honestly...it made me realize how harmful this website can be to my mental health, I’ve made some amazing real word friends on here but (especially being injured and unable to run) logging on to see people posting about their long runs and food and etc. etc. can easily lead to comparison and feeling like shit. And believe me I know that I post about all of those things too and it’s nothing personal against any one person because most of my friends post about those things but not seeing what other people are up to is so damn freeing

With that being said idk what my next move is, I love the process of editing photos and connecting with people and having a little visual log of my days on here and I think once I’m back to being on my own so to speak in Aville this summer I may be more inspired to post but right now surrounded by family and real world stuff idk it just hasn’t felt right

ALSO taking a step back has made me realize how much my head has been in the deep tumblr world hole and how the general public does not go for 2390209 mile runs and eat endless vegetables on the daily and don’t get me wrong I love those things but I think I needed a breath of fresh air to realize there is more to life than just those things

Recovery

Since being home I feel like I’m making strides, for so long I was in a place of severe restriction, then it was an all or nothing attitude, then it was veganism which (for ME) was in some ways restrictive as well and I feel like I’m now in this phase where I’m like holy shit...I can eat what I want and not feel like it’s out of control, feel satisfied, and move on with my day. Normal people what??? I’m in no way “recovered” but I am moving in a good direction

I’ve been working on listening to my body, saying yes to going out if it means socializing, eating dinner later because then I can eat with my family, eating what my family is eating rather than my own specific meal (tonight my mama and I are making dinner together holla) etc. etc.

THE PEOPLE YOU ARE WITH AND THE CONVERSATIONS YOU HAVE AND THE MEMORIES YOU MAKE ARE LITERALLY SIX BAJILLION TIMES MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE FOOD

Also realized that I feel soooooo much better when social and busy, I spent almost every night last semester eating dinner alone at my desk in my room. Since being home I’ve made an effort to always eat with family, or sit outside, or bring my food over to my neighbor’s house if my fam isn’t home. It has made a huuuuge difference.

Feeling like there’s so much more to life and I’m sick of this shit and it isn’t going to stop unless I take the action necessary to get there

Running

It’s been almost a month and a half since I last went for a run and that sucks, a whole lot, and as eager as I am to get back to it, I’m finally settling into a rythym of what I’ve gotta do until running returns

The bike and the pool and the weights and and and are in no way the same as running but they are something and running is going to come back

My PT is great, I’ve been going 3x a week and this week we are likely going to give a bit of running a shot, my foot is not 100% but it’s feeling the best it has since this all started and we’re definitely moving in the right direction

Also, the fact that I’m making such strides with food when running isn’t even in the picture is huge and I can’t wait to see how much more I can accomplish when I am running again and have that extra mental health boost

Random

My mom got engaged!! that’s a lot to unpack but she’s happy and I’m happy for her and I get to be her maid of honor and go on a beach vacation next spring for the wedding so THAT is cool

I made travel plans to visit a friend from my trip to Asia last summer this fall in Miami (where she goes to school) and I can’t wait to see her and spend my fall break somewhere warm

Made theoretical plans with another friend from that trip to go camping in NC this summer (she goes to school in VA) and I’m hyped

Spent a long time the other night talking to my mom about my post undergrad plans and I’m legitimately considering backpacking around southeast asia (we’ll see) but she said she would come with for the first two weeks and I want to show her where I traveled last summer so badly because it has such a piece of my heart and ahhhhh

I’ve been making an effort to just fricken be nicer, I can often get really pissy when I’m at home (shoutout to bad memories here from highschool and lots of anxiety) and pretty much be kind of an asshole unnecessarily if we’re being honest. I’ve been trying to do little things- hold back sarcastic comments, help my mom plant flowers, offer her boyfriend a bite of icecream I got that he might like, etc. I think all of us are feeling a lot better because of it

Well that’s a heck of a lot of stuff. Hope y’all are doing well and thanks for reading if ya took the time 💛

[thegrayship]

i have had a couple of antis pop up on posts saying that shipping reylo was endorsing abuse... or something. i’m not immune to feeling bad whenever people harrass me about the fictional characters i ship.

but whenever it happens, i just remind myself something i learned in acting school:

i trained for two years in a private conservatory and something that came up a lot was when students were given violent, villainous, or otherwise unsavory roles. they (or i) would get uncomfortable at the moment of violence and it would be so hesitant as to be out of character or unbelievable.

my coach inevitably had to drill it into us (paraphrased): “the hesitation is because you think this is really happening or that it reflects on you as a person. it is not real because once the scene is over, your partner will get up and go about the rest of their day just fine. it does not reflect on you as a person, because you are not portraying yourself.”

it took me a while to really understand this, but one thing that helped the most was remembering the games i played as a kid.

CONTENT WARNING: I TELL AN EMBARRASSING STORY ABOUT MY CHILDHOOD. IT CONCERNS A POOP MONSTER. IT’S UNDER THE READMORE BUT IF YOU’RE ON MOBILE SCROLL DOWN TO THE SECOND LINE OF ASTERISKS.

*******************************************************************************************

being a pretty imaginative kid, i would play out stories with my sister. and since we were only two people, we would inevitably switch off to play different roles in conversations.

we were both girls growing up in 90s america so sometimes it would be stories about lisa frank style unicorns and fairies. other times, it would be about poop monsters in swamps.

the poop monster was a recurring character for an embarrassingly long time. this is where i rely mostly on 20 year old memories because i am not currently strong enough to ask my sister, ‘hey, remember that poop monster we told stories about when we were kids?’

i do remember that for about an entire week in a row after we got home from school, we would excitedly stand in the living room and shout, “LETS TELL A STORY ABOUT THE POOP MONSTER!!”

we got grossly detailed. “PEOPLE COULD SMELL THE HORRIBLE POOP MONSTER FROM A MILE AWAY BECAUSE HE WAS SO STINKY AND THEY RAN AWAY SCREAMING AND THROWING UP.” and to our eight year old selves, it was so funny we’d laugh till our sides hurt.

we got violent. “AND THE HERO OF THE DAY STOMPED HIM INTO A MILLION BAJILLION PIECES AND SPRAYED AIR FRESHENER OVER THE PIECES AND HE DISAPPEARED FOREVER.” (but we’re going to tell another story about him tomorrow.) it was a pretty even tradeoff between who mimed the killing and who died dramatically on the floor. sometimes one of us would mime the killing AND the dying in rapid succession and then the other would go, “OKAY MY TURN!!” and act out a different way.

does this mean that two eight year old girls had no sense of hygiene because their favorite story was about a poop monster? did our constant reenactments of murder and death scenes mean we harbored actual homicidal or suicidal thoughts?

NO.

*******************************************************************************************

as children, we could laugh about literal toilet humor while still taking baths and still thinking it was gross when actual classmates said they didn’t brush their teeth. we apologized when we accidentally hurt someone. sometimes we would fight and pulled each other’s hair or slap each other, and apologizing might take a little longer depending on how angry we were. BUT EVENTUALLY we still said we were sorry and tried not to do it again.

when our pets were asleep we would shriek, “HEY, THEY’RE DEAD!!!”, poke them, and laugh about zombie pets when they woke up--but when they actually died, we cried. i gleefully mimed death scenes while playing but in real life, i’d still cry when i skinned my knee on the playground.

so if you come across an anti who says you’re endorsing Bad Stuff™ for liking kylo ren or reylo, remember this post. maybe even remember the stuff you liked to imagine as a kid.

if professional writers and actors who get paid to depict violence and problematic relationships are told that they are not endorsing the stuff they reenact because it’s fake and no one ACTUALLY gets hurt, an unpaid fan is not guilty of encouraging those same things when they enjoy watching, reading, or making fanfiction/fanart of that material.

so chill, reylos (and other ships who get lots of hate). you’re not endorsing bad stuff just because you ship fictional characters.

[jessicabenson]

Fighting On.

On September 3, 2016, USC lost to Alabama by 46 points.

By no means should they have made it to the Rose Bowl 4 months later.

On January 2, 2017, I embarked on the day trip from hell to Los Angeles.

By no means should I have made it to the Rose Bowl 14 hours later.

About two and a half weeks ago I asked my boss for a personal day on January 2nd.  I’d come down with a case of the “I’m 24 and On The Verge Of A Quarter Life Crisis” blues and was fortunate enough for Santa Claus to FedEx me a pair of Rose Bowl tickets.  OK FINE, Santa Claus is my dad. Karl came up clutch.

Chris and I were both given the day off. In our industry this is like a pot of flippin’ gold, so bottom line, it better be worth it.

My mom was going, too.  She’d planned to go from the moment USC made it in even though she was recovering from extensive surgery that she’d had the week after Thanksgiving. But, if you’ve met Sharon, God forbid you tell her she can’t go to a college sporting event she’s planning to attend. I hadn’t seen her since the surgery, and suddenly seeing USC in the Rose Bowl with my mom became the most important thing to me in the whole wide world.

She had two tickets and no one to go with. I sent a text to two of my friends asking if either needed a ticket.

My friend Janet responded yes instantly; that she’d been on StubHub that very minute looking for a ticket. She won the lottery. Sorry, Paige.

Janet and I have had some great memories at the Rose Bowl. We had worked the 100th Rose Bowl and final BCS National Championship Game (RIP, BCS) together when we were students at USC.  Then there was the time she got us kicked out of the Beyonce/Jay-Z concert. Ask her about it! It’s her favorite story to tell!

Alright, back to business.

With this trip on the horizon, I had my groove back. It was the kick in the pants I needed to head into 2017 with some pep in my step. 

So, on January 2nd, I trotted into the Memphis airport humming “Tusk” and holding up a “Fight On!” while Sia’s “The Greatest” blared from the airport speakers.

“Don't give up, I won't give up

Don't give up, no no no….”

Chris brought his GoPro and said, “Oh this song will be perfect for the video I will put together of the trip!”

Ha…haha….hahahaha….

Our flight was scheduled to leave Memphis at 6 a.m. I had chosen for us to fly through Houston instead of Denver because I’m a genius and didn’t want snow to cripple my great day.

I’m a moron. The apocalypse hit Houston.

“Hi folks…”

Why do all pilots use the word ‘folks….’

“…the Houston airport has closed off all incoming and outgoing flights because of thunderstorms.  It should only be a 30 minute delay or so. We’ll keep you posted.”

We only had an hour to make our connection so my nerves started pumpin’ real hard.

Chris assured me we’d be alright.  The flight attendant assured me we’d be alright.  We finally took off, and I got a text from my dad saying our flight from Houston to LAX was delayed, too, and that we should have no problem making our connection.

I breathed. I slept. I smiled.

“Hey there folks!”

I jolted from a deep, neck-scrunched-against-the-window sleep.

Folks…the word of death….

“I’ve got some more bad news. We are in a holding pattern as the Houston airport is closed again. We’re circling around Louisiana but we’re going to run out of fuel in about 45 minutes, so if it’s not open by then we’ll have to divert.”

The clock said 8:25. Our flight to LAX had been rescheduled to take off at 9:15.

I ate not one, but two, waffle cookies the flight attendant gave me. No New Year’s resolution diet could exist in a time like this.

At 9:22 we were diverted to San Antonio, TX. It was 60 degrees and sunny.

There was a single flight from San Antonio to LAX.

It was overbooked.

With the help of Karl, we were rescheduled onto another flight out of Houston, this one leaving at 10:45 and getting us to LAX at 12:30 p.m.

I looked out the plane window.  We were surrounded by eight other airplanes, all waiting for fuel.

“It should only take about 20 minutes!” The words of our pilot.  No “folks” included. I should’ve seen this as a sign that he was a Lying-Mc-Liar-Pants.

We waited in line for fuel, which turned into waiting in line for an open runway to take off to Houston which was now perfectly sunny and beautiful and wtf weather why you gotta be like that.

The clock ticked 10:25 as the wheels went up.

Travel agent Karl informed us we could get on the standby list for an 11:45 flight that landed at 1:30 p.m. PST.  At this point, I didn’t care if we made kickoff, I just wanted to get there by half time.

In what should be investigated as the longest flight ever between San Antonio and Houston, we landed at George Bush Intercontinental Airport at 11:30 a.m.

We were at Gate C8. The mystical 11:45 flight (which was - shocking! - rumored to be delayed) was at C46.

Chris took off in a sprint.

I ran like the gazelle I’ve always aspired to be.

Just kidding, I huffed and I puffed and my Uggs started to give me blisters and at some point I took my sweater off and tied it around my waste like a 90’s mom at Disneyland and somehow those two waffle cookies didn’t end up on the ground in front of me. Saying “Diet starts back up, Monday!” for the last four weeks was really biting me in the ass.

Let’ go back to Sia’s “The Greatest”:

“Uh-oh, runnin' out of breath, but I

Oh, I, I got stamina

Uh-oh, running now, I close my eyes

Well, oh, I got stamina…”

We reached the gate. The plane had already been closed. No delay, no magic.

We just laughed.

At this point the only chance we had was to reroute to Orange County and then drive to Pasadena.  The flight would land at 2:35.

This is the part where I remind everyone that kickoff was at 2:00.

Well, we can make the second half!

I calculated that if we landed at 2:35 we could be in a car by 2:40 and at the Rose Bowl by 3:40. We could make it by the 3rd quarter.

“Well we can hope for the world’s longest game and a USC 4th quarter comeback! Maybe some overtimes, too!” I joked.

Boarding was set to begin at 12:08.  At 12:20 we were still waiting.

“Just an update everyone, the flight attendants for this flight were coming from an international flight and they’re now stuck in Customs, so we can’t do anything until they make it through.”

You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me.

I still didn’t lose it! I still didn’t cry!

When we were still sitting on the runway at 1:35, nearly an hour after our scheduled departure, that’s when I cried.

But, what can you do?

The only thing that went right at that point was that this flight had DirectTV which meant I was going to watch kickoff from the sky. So technically, I had the coolest seat of all. THE SKY!!!!

(Literally trying to keep that whole return of “Look On The Bright Side Jess!” at the forefront here).

The flight attendant gave me a free Heineken.

USC and Penn State decided to throw me a bone in the form of a bajillion pass plays followed by: Touchdown. Review. Touchdown. Review. The clock ticked slowly.

We made up some time in the air and landed in the OC at 3:04 on the dot. The 1st quarter had just ended.

Oh my lord, we have a chance.

This is where you meet our new bff, Moe. Moe was the driver of the car picking us up. He waited at baggage claim with one of those signs that said “J. Benson” and had a luggage cart waiting.

Chris and I sprinted towards him.

“Hello, are you Jessica? I’m driver, M...”

“LET’S GO MOE!”

“Where is your luggage?”

“WE DON’T HAVE ANY!”

We traveled with a single backpack filled with our toothbrushes, toiletries, a pair of yoga pants if I decided to take a 6 a.m. SoulCycle class before our flight out the next day (spoiler alert: this was not happening), my small purse, Chris’s wallet and a brush.  We’d planned to drop it off at the hotel when we landed at, oh I don’t know, 10:45 a.m. like we were supposed to, but now it was totally expendable. We had every intention of transporting our things into one of those game-friendly plastic bags (backpacks not allowed in the stadium) and ditching the backpack in the Rose Bowl parking lot.

Moe hustled with us to the car. Moe is a baller.

What if I told you…there was a day where there was zero traffic between Orange County and Pasadena?  We seemed to fly down the 405 to the 605 to the 5 to the 110. We made it in 53 minutes. I just looked at how long it would be estimated to take right now.  The answer is 1 hour and 47 minutes.

But like, you still didn’t think we were in the clear right? Because if you did you have not been paying attention.

The Rowl Bowl didn’t allow passenger drop off.  The closest we could get was about a mile out.

I gave Moe a giant hug.

And again, we ran.

And again…why had I taken a 4-week hiatus from the Kayla Itsines workout plan?

We got to the gate closest to our seats, Gate G.

“Do you have any plastic bags?” we managed to choke out between coughs.

“No, try Gate A.”

So we ran again.

“Do you have any plastic bags?”

“No, we’re out. You’ll have to check your bag at Gate C.”

At that point, we’d be running around almost half the stadium.

“Don’t be a quitter!” Chris yelled at me.

“But I’m going to throw up!” I screamed back.

This is love.

We checked our bag. Lost in this moment was my happiness to not have to part with my backpack. We entered at Gate C. We had to walk all the way back to the Gate G area to get to our entrance tunnel.

We walked up the stairs right after Penn State scored in the opening minutes of the 3rd quarter.

I saw my mom. I saw Janet. Instant happiness washed over me.  They greeted us with hugs and at that point more importantly, beers. The girl in the seats next to us had gone to one of the high schools in my hometown of Highlands Ranch, CO. Everything seemed to be falling into place perfectly.

We proceeded to watch Penn State score 28 points in the 3rd quarter.

And then we proceeded to watch a damn miracle.

I can’t describe the happiness I felt as Ronald Jones II ran it into the end zone wearing Joe McKnight’s No. 4 jersey to get USC back within a touchdown.

I can’t put into words what it was like to watch a freshman quarterback, Sam Darnold, throw his 5th touchdown pass to tie the game with 1 minute and 20 seconds left on the clock.

People joke that I went to USC during the worst four years of football.  But everything - from the sanctions to Kiffin being left on an LAX tarmac to Sark- all became so worth it when Matt Boermeester nailed a 46-yard field goal to win the Rose Bowl.

As I stood watching USC win the Rose Bowl with my mom, my boyfriend and two of my best friends all I could think was, “Holy hell this day went from being one of the absolute worst to the absolute best.”

And couldn’t we all use that reminder as we enter the New Year?  Pick a cliche, any cliche, but often times the best things come just after we think things can’t get any worse.

From USC football fighting its way back into the national spotlight; to 14 hours of travel that included 3 flights, 6 potential missed connections, 2 diversions, an hour car ride and a 2 mile run that landed me in the Penn State section at the Rose Bowl...you just cannot ever give up.

Because if you do, you might miss the part where the impossible transforms into one of life’s greatest moments.

After all, is that not what it means to “Fight On”?

As we walked down the steps of the Rose Bowl, no joke, Sia’s “The Greatest” played in the background.  

“I'm free to be the greatest, I'm alive

I'm free to be the greatest here tonight, the greatest

The greatest, the greatest alive

The greatest, the greatest alive…”

The day was perfect.

The next day our flight to Denver was delayed 4 hours, we missed all connecting flights to Memphis and got stuck at the airport for the night.  It was 18 degrees, we had no extra clothes and didn’t make it home until 2 p.m. on Wednesday, January 4th.

Again, it was perfect. And most of all, it was so worth it.

[fyrapartnersearch]

multiverse shenanigans!

multiverse -- also known as an omniverse or meta-universe, is a hypothetical group of multiple universes. together, these universes comprise everything that exists: the entirety of space, time, matter, energy, and the physical laws and constants that describe them.

  a multiverse is something that's been around for a long extensive period of time, and it's what i want to create with you -- my potential partner! :>

  my multiverse consists of us making various worlds -- some our own and some fandoms if possible -- and thrusting our pair of characters into them and just letting the roleplay get carried away. i'm looking for a discord partner where we can make a server with various channels for our limitless ideas and universes, literally anything's possible!!! if this interests you, please keep reading!!!

  requirements:

honestly my requirements are pretty simple and nothing too crazy, if i do say so myself. just meet em and it's a piece of cake from there! ALSO, if you have rules you'd like for me to adhere PLEASE don't hesitate to send them in and let me see them, this is a partnership and i want it to start off as such :>

  - be over 18, no exceptions!

- have a discord, again no exceptions!

- please have a good grasp on the english language with proper grammar and punctuation usage -- i'm not a stickler with capitalization since it's clear i never use them, but everything else gotta be on POINT!

- tying into the point above, please be able to provide at least a paragraph or more every reply. i know some places don't require as much, but i'm more of a semi-para -- all the way up to novella type of writer, i would prefer the same effort!

- don't be a creep, this is pretty self explanatory, but i will block if i see fit.

- don't rush, bug or guilt trip me for replies, that is the fastest way for our roleplay to get shut down -- we all have lives outside of roleplay and i would request the same respect i give you in terms of that!

- i reserve the right to drop our plots, just like you reserve the right to drop mine! no hard feelings and if you wanna retry later with smth new, don't be afraid to hit me up :)!

    think you can follow them? then great! keep reading. if not, THANK YOU for getting this far and i hope you find the person you're looking for :>

  now, onto the juicy bits; the plots!

  mainly i want to have three right off the bat, with at least one from a fandom and two original ones, or two fandom and one original or three all fandom, combo doesn't matter! i'm interested in these fandoms: stranger things (especially since i caught up on season three), marvel (i'm a BIG marvel fan omg), dc, twilight. if you're looking to play canon characters, these folks below are who i'm interested in playing -- they'll be italicized -- as well as playing against! below each fandom will also be ideas for them as well, but i'm ALWAYS open to ideas and suggestions!

  stranger things, everyone is 18+ and aged up for these characters: eleven, max, lucas, billy, hopper, jonathan, steve, robin.

things can start with maybe eleven wasn't able to close the gate in season 2 and the mind flayer, as well as demogorgons overtook the world and they're living in a dystopian society trying to figure out a way to kill them all or trap them back in the gate.

  marvel, everyone is 18+ and aged up for these characters: peter parker, riri williams, shuri, mj (mcu verse), venom/eddie brock, wanda maximoff, domino, killmonger, t'challa, deadpool, miles morales, cable, tony stark, carol danvers, steve rogers.

for marvel i mainly have pairings and plots that surround them!

riri williams + miles morales/peter parker/oc: riri is transported to earth 616 after the snap tony induced tore a whole into the multiverse, and she has to try and get accustomed to this earth all while figuring out whether or not she wants to go back home.

carol danvers + tony stark/steve rogers: before carol was transported to kree under the guise of arriving on hala half dead, she dated and very well much was in love with your character during her time in the army under the pegasus division. ( an au could be made where stark owned and allowed tony to head pegasus whilst he was at mit, or could be dated a little further to where steve had been de-iced at pegasus base and that's how they met ) unfortunately with carol supposedly dying in the aircraft with mar-vell, when she reappears post snap at the beck of fury's beeper, they're surprised that she remembers absolutely nothing from their shared time together.

i have more but i'm really rambling already lmao

  when it comes to original plots, i have a bajillion and one up my sleeve, but i'll only put a few that i've been DYING to have play out!

an intergalactic pirate -- see, stealer -- has been one of the most notorious mercenaries in terms of getting whatever's required of their boss at the time, which unfortunately sometimes has them on the opposite side of the law. cue a specific mission ending with them being framed and being put on the front of every holographic post in the galaxy and their favorite space cop, one who's tangoed with them many a time before, leading the charge to their demise. until the truth is uncovered and they both have to outrun everyone in the world looking for a bounty to prove their innocence. ( i was looking to play the pirate as a female and have the cop be a male, but i'm open to suggestions!)

a poor high school student with a dream to become a ballet dancer is finally admitted into the most prestigious university in all of the world, based in paris, france. the school isn't like any other -- all races, all species, all entities -- are roaming the various halls, it's a safe haven for anybody and everybody different, something this student has always felt. it's a struggle getting acclimated to the world around them, but when their physical reveals they're a little less human than they thought, they have to tackle new manifesting abilities on top of their load of classes. ( i was looking to play the ballet student as either a female or a male, and have it be a same sex couple, but again, i'm open to suggestions!)

  i feel as if i've chit chatted enough to last a LIFETIME, so i'll end it here. i do have a LOT of more ideas, both fandom and original, and i hope i've at least interested you enough to have you contact me! if you've read through all of this and you'd like to play something out, please message me through discord (𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞 .#1806) your name, age, timezone and what stuck out to you most!!!!!!!!!!!! i hope to see a lot of y'all soon. <3

[theycallmeshaggyrogers]

Essay One: ‘Anastasia’ Probably Could Have Been Great

This post will contain spoilers. There, I'm guiltless.

Have you ever heard a premise or logline to a movie that sounded so promising that there was no conceivable way in your mind that it could fail? And were you absolutely bewildered when you watched said movie your hopes were slowly choked out of you? Well, that's what watching Don Bluth's 1997 animated musical Anastasia feels like. Now, despite being a 90s fetus and having grown up watching French-dubbed Disney Renaissance films from relatively the same time period this film was released, I had not watched Anastasia until last December. It was the Tuesday night before my final exams/presentations/seminars went into full swing, and rather than dutifully studying like a good boy trying to retain his scholarship and federal grants so he can attend an out-of-state college for half the price, I decided to watch a couple animated movies that had been on my bucket list for well over a year at that point (though I only got around to watching two). 

The first was Ralph Bakshi's Fritz the Cat, and while Fritz's plot is kind of a disconnected mess, it was quite enjoyable thematically and aesthetically. I had also went in with very little context. Sure, I saw the opening scene of those dumb college girls fawning over the crow dude just cause he was African-American, I knew it was famous for being a raunchy, animated movie intended for adults, and on more than one occasion I have had to draw in Robert Crumb's style for class, but that's all I really knew about Fritz.

Anastasia on the other hand has perplexed me. I knew of it, which is to say, all I knew was the premise, that of the sole surviving heir of the Romanov Dynasty living in secret after the Bolsheviks deposed her father during the Russian Revolution. I don't recall watching it as a child. However, as I got older and began transitioning into high school, I started taking an interest in the Edwardian period, Tsarist Russia, World War I and tons and tons and tons amateur alternate history stories I found online. I specifically became curious about what led to the fall of the 300 year-old Romanov dynasty.

 I even wrote a similar story going off Anastasia's premise because I was so infatuated with the idea that the Romanovs were able to survive such a violent deposition effort, just as the House of Bourbon did following the French Revolution (the first one at least). Like your average American Civil War buff, I like this idea of putting a “what-if?” spin on history that is fairly recent in the grand scheme of things, but has long since left cultural memory on account of those living at the time slowly dying off, and it seems that modern American media agrees with me on that sentiment, even if the more maintstream content is centered almost exclusively about Nazis and World War II.

But yeah, Anastasia has a premise that I'm sold on, is set in a country that I love for a bajillion and one reasons during a rather recent period in European history that I am genuinely fascinated by.

And guess what? It sucks.

Anastasia, for all that it does stylistically to emulate the story, aesthetic and pacing of a Disney film, is just mediocre, its premise wasted. It very much feels like a knock-off or a mockbuster with an extraordinarily high budget to match that of your average 1990s animated feature. Those who have watched Anastasia before reading this post probably assumed that the film's budget was remarkably lower than that of other big-budget animated movies being produced at the time, and I am here to dispel that assumption with the help of a series of simple Google searches.

For context, 1995's Pocahontas had a budget of $55 million, 1991's Beauty and the Beast had approximately half the budget of Pocahontas, and 1994's The Lion King, arguably the most well-remembered of the Renaissance Disney films according to my generation in particular, had a budget of $45 million. Anastasia had a budget of $50 million. And I am using Disney films as a comparison because Anastasia is very much trying to look and feel like a Disney film, and it's falling embarrassingly flat. Its character designs look like Disney knock-offs, its score feels like imitation-Alan Menkin, and even its use of 3D renders feels like Don Bluth was trying to 1-up the technological marvels done well by Beauty and the Beast. Hell, you can even tell based off Anastasia's character designs who fits into which archetype in your big-budget kids movie. 

The titular Anya is the unquestionably feminine but nonetheless strong-willed female lead, as well as the “Princess™”, and her design by the third act of the movie reminds me strongly of 1953's Cinderella. Vlad is the obligatory comic relief because... well, cause he's older and fat. You think he's gonna be the protagonist? As much as that would have been cool, considering his background as a former member of the exterminated nobility and the emotional implications the Russian Revolution may have left on him and all, this movie had to be marketed towards kids, ergo, young leads in their twenties. But I digress. That annoying little dog-looking creature (whose name I forget even after re-watching the movie to write this) is the mute comic-relief animal sidekick who can be pushed heavily in the marketing, and Bartok is the other animal sidekick who is cute enough to be memorable and/or marketable for the movie's sake, but not cute enough to make you forget that he's technically an antagonist. Bartok's master Rasputin is self-explanatory, though that said, the over-exaggeration of facial features to make the antagonist inhuman is kind of par for the course regarding animated movies from this time and the eras preceding it. I don't feel that I need to explain myself in too much depth here, especially since the Don Bluth take on Grigori Rasputin has the emotional depth of the Sea of Azov.

However, Dmitri appears to be the exception to this rule of taking  well-established Disney archetypes and making knock-off characters from them. Obviously he's the dude half of this movie's forced breeding pair on account of his youthful charm (that translates into hideously rotoscoped facial features), but I don't think he really embodies any direct resemblance to a male Disney lead or even the generic handsome princes characters of Snow White, Cinderella and The Little Mermaid. Maybe he's meant to be modeled off all those lookalike, generic handsome prince characters with a hint of Aladdin on account of his street smarts and non-royal status. Or maybe, just maybe, Dmitri's design makes him less an archetypal Disney rip-off and instead, a carefully-crafted prettyboy meant to catch the eye of the average preteen girl in 1997, one who probably listened to a lot of boy bands with pasty, broody, Dmitri-looking skinny white dudes on the cover with his exact haircut. This is honestly just speculation with no further research on my part, but I genuinely think Don Bluth was going for a 90s-boy band look for his strapping male lead, or was otherwise convinced by some focus group during pre-production that this was a sound decision. And I have to repeat myself here: it's shame that in trying to capture the essence of a moody bad boy, Bluth went the extra mile and made him as awkwardly-animated as possible, which is saying something considering how awkwardly-animated every other proportionally-realistic character is to begin with. 

The animation quality of Anastasia is probably the most glaring indicator that you're not actually watching a Disney movie, not because it's awful, but because its quality varies from character model to character model. Dmitri's character design is probably the closest in resemblance to a real person, but that benefit, if you can even call it that, is immediately squandered when you put a more stylized character like Vlad (or really any one-note side character from the film) in the same shot. Members of the royal family suffer from this issue too. Their designs seem to be based off real models rather than possess the stylization Don Bluth is famous for. Nicholas II and Anya's sisters in this regard are alright since they are minor characters with only a few speaking lines if any at all, but in the case of Empress Marie, a major supporting character, she ends up animating in the same janky manner as Dmitri. I don't think Bluth could decide whether or not to go with the exaggerated caricatures he is so accustomed to, or committing to realistic character models that would likely be hard to animate consistently. The end result that was reached seems to be this loose middle-ground where everything just feels awkward and inconsistent.

I also wanna touch on the liberal use of 3D animation a bit too, because it is probably my biggest issue with this movie's overall aesthetic. This isn't to say I have an issue with 3D, and if you can make it work in your movie, then more power to you. This issue with 3D in Anastasia however is simply the fact that it does not mesh well with the 2D setting at all. This movie has all these beautiful hand-painted backgrounds for nearly every shot but once we've moved on from the abandoned Catherine Palace (why wasn't that touched at all by the Bolsheviks again? It's been a solid decade post-timeskip right?) and onto the the train, the fact that the entire locomotive itself is a CG render will not be able to leave your head, because it is just that obvious. The one time the CG isn't blatantly tacked-on is the opening shot, depicting two music box figurines of the tsar and his wife, and that's where I think this then-budding animation technology worked the best. It did not work for a model as big as an noticeably unmanned ocean liner being battered by painstakingly-animated 2D waves.

Now, this isn't to say that CG animation was not viable for animated motion pictures of the 1990s; it very well was. The Hunchback of Notre Dame uses it quite excellently throughout the film to render large crowds of Parisians as well as various exterior shots of the eponymous cathedral itself, and are perhaps the most memorable shots of that movie. Beauty and the Beast famously used the new technology to great effect as well during the famous ballroom scene. But in these two particular cases, the 3D was used largely as a backdrop to save the animators time when working on a particular shot. They were not necessarily the point of attention in the shots they appeared in; the protagonists were.

When Quasimodo is expressing his desire to attend the Festival of Fools at the beginning of Hunchback and is climbing all about the cathedral singing all angelically and whatnot, he is always the center of attention in each shot. Meanwhile, in Anastasia, many of the ship scenes during the storm are wide shots which go on for long enough that the viewer is able to identify that these backgrounds, are in fact, 3D. In all of these instances, 3D rendering was used as a crutch that made production easier. In the better-executed examples however, the directors demonstrated a degree of restraint.

Don't even get me started with that CG pegasus statue either.

Now this entire post so far has been me harping on the technical blunders of Anastasia, but if a movie looked a bit goofy at times due to inexperienced animators, the grandiose expectations of a director, time constraints or experimental technology that just wasn't there yet, it can probably make up for that with a cohesive and engaging story, of which Anastasia does not have any of these things. My first glaring issue going into this movie was how the movie introduces and frames Rasputin. There is no explanation given as to how or why he's a necromancer. In fact, necromancy seems inappropriate for Rasputin's character considering from a historic basis, he was believed to be a spiritual healer blessed by God, who I'm pretty sure frowns upon pagan magic regardless of one's denomination. I will admit that it is an interesting take on Rasputin's character given the fact that he is remembered pretty negatively by history, but with that said, if he was a necromancer, how would he have been able to convince the extremely religious, extremely superstitious Tsarevna Alexandra that he was in fact this God-blessed mystic who could cure her son of hemophilia? What could have made this work was if Rasputin was in fact used his infamously adept persuasion to convince the tsar that his dark powers were actually good powers, allowing the suspicions held by his detractors in court to appear far less warranted than they were in reality.

Regardless, the nature of Rasputin's powers go unexplained in the movie and is hand-waived by Empress Marie as “oh, we trusted him but he turned out to be hella fake lol”. It is also never explained in Anastasia how Rasputin lost favor with the Russian court, which is arguably the inciting incident of the film and happens within the first five or so minutes of its runtime. That is an issue in of itself. These thoughts immediately came to mind as I was watching Anastasia, breaking the immersion even more with each raised question gone unanswered. Would I have known Dmitri was going to be an integral character from the split-second shot where he was introduced? That's the biggest issue with the plot of Anastasia itself: it does not give you any breathing room. 

The first five minutes throw story beat after story beat at you; Russian aristocrats are celebrating the 300th anniversary of the Romanov Dynasty, Dowager Empress Marie confides in her granddaughter that she will be leaving for Paris and hands her the plot-device music box, Rasputin storms in, crashes the party, curses Tsar Nicholas II, the Bolsheviks immediately attack the Catherine Palace, and Anya escapes, only to contract amnesia while fleeing. Ideally, these beats are meant for the first half of a first act, spanning about ten to fifteen minutes at most, not the first five!

The opening scenes of this movie feel insanely rushed, and it just keeps happening and happening. Rasputin destroyed the train? Fuck it, Anya, Vlad, Dmitri and Annoying Dog will just walk to the nearest port city instead, and it'll be a merry old trip where Anya's groomed for her inevitable reunion with her grandmother! Not a single beat in this story felt organic, which in turn, as someone who has watched enough family-friendly animated features as an adult to pick up on particular narrative beats, made it predictable. By the time the climactic confrontation between Anya and Rasputin had commenced, I was so disinterested with what was happening because I knew where this story was going: Rasputin was gonna die in some way, be it through hubris, being outwitted by Anya, or a deliberate fake-out (guess what, it was behind door #3!). My only respite throughout this entire movie was the fact that Anya and Dmitri's endless exchange of sarky retorts never got tired for me for some odd reason. I understand that giving both of these characters sardonic, witty personalities was  meant to show chemistry between the two, but it all feels like filler dialogue when their inevitable union at the end of the movie barely feels earned, especially when I'm 20 minutes into the movie and I still can't figure out if this animated musical is supposed to be an intense historical drama or a romantic comedy. I can barely remember anything about Anya's personality beyond her snark. She's humble, pretty without trying, and a well-meaning person, but so was Cinderella. She's witty and sharp-tongued to a degree, but so was Beauty's Belle and Hercules' Megara.

Finally, no criticism of Anastasia is complete without examining the ethics behind basing a story off a violent major event in a nation's already violent history. Anyone who has read up on the causes of the Russian Revolution would be made aware of the empire's horrible mismanagement at the hands of Nicholas II. They would know that at the time of World War I, Russia was bankrupting itself, it was conscripting young men my age into a losing war without even being provided the proper equipment, and the Romanovs were effectively sitting on their hands the whole time. Listening to a grandiose opening musical number sung by the citizens of St. Petersburg bemoaning their lives under Soviet leadership all the while exchanging hopeful whispers of Anastasia's survival just puts a bad taste in my mouth. 

Moreover, on the opposite side of the social hierarchy, I was hoping to see surviving members of the old regime expressing how they felt after losing their power, and how it might have changed them, namely Vlad as well as Anya's grandmother, Empress Marie. I was hoping, from premise alone, that this movie would explore some more mature themes about power and how one comes to terms with losing it. Family-friendly movies don't have to be sanitized to be family-friendly, no matter what the hypersensitive, suburban white mom may tell you. Hunchback approached themes of infanticide, emotional manipulation, racism and religious zealotry through its villain, Claude Frollo, while Beauty and the Beast confronted hypermasculinity and human cruelty through Gaston. With that in mind, why did this film, predicated on a violent revolution with horrifying consequences in the form of a civil war, purges and genocide, have end up as thematically sterile as it did?

Admittedly, what I was hoping from Anastasia was probably too much for the production team at Twentieth Century Fox to get away with, because after all, when you make media that is meant to have a broad appeal, it means you have to make thematic sacrifices mandated by corporate. Sometimes, you can't write the story you want to write. I was expecting the very same story I wrote for myself all those years ago, one of a lost royal who must come to terms with the fact that the old empire has fallen and things will never be the same again. I was hoping that the true villain would be a former revolutionary or a member of Lenin's cabinet whose hatred of the monarchy spurred him to ruthlessly pursue any Romanov survivors, and not the one-note Rasputin whose motivation we don't even completely understand. 

Apparently, Bluth never considered to use Bolsheviks as the antagonist faction of the film, though at one point it was bounced around that a fictional vigilante police officer with a grudge towards the old regime would be the central antagonist rather than Rasputin. And you know what? I'd dig that! But while a communist police officer taking the law into his own hands doesn't seem nearly as menacing as a corrupt priest turned-evil wizard, I definitely think it would have been a step in the right direction. If the writers went for the “vigilante police” angle, I think that aspect alone would be enough to warrant less egregious comparison to Disney at the time, at least from a characterization standpoint. We could probably have had this officer villain be multifaceted a villain with a complex sense of justice, or even a redeemable one at that! Not even Hunchback's Frollo had that narrative luxury! 

I honestly think this movie could have been great, but it could only have been great had it chose to stand on its own two feet instead. It tried to be a Disney movie at Disney's then-artistic height since the 1950s. it tried to make use of 3D, it tried to make use of diegetic, catchy musical numbers, it tried to play into appealing character archetypes right down to their designs, and it tried to copy the broad-appeal narrative trappings of your average well-received Disney film. I think what Anastasia proves the most about itself is that while the “Disney style” can easily be replicated on account of its ubiquity and impact on western culture, that doesn't mean imitating the formula will always be a successful endeavor.