#but those files were lost and the momentum for the idea sort of fell off

[mem-fr]

revisiting an old idea ! i think it's pretty cute ?

[fablesrose]

Of Kings and Shadows XX

Description: Y/n, a girl who seems to have found her calling. Being a SHIELD agent is like a dream come true. With a friendship starting to form with the Avengers, she’s the Queen of the world! What could go wrong?

Pairings: Avengers x reader, Loki x reader (eventually)

Notes: On Wattpad –> Here

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Nick, what are we doing here?" Tony was leaning back in his chair of the conference room, not looking amused. "Couldn't you have just stuck it in a file?"

Nick Fury stood at the head of the table, looking at every one of the thirteen people in the room individually. "We've come upon some new information about a new branch of Hydra and its top weapon."

Pietro spun in his chair with a groan, "I thought we had gotten rid of them."

"Well, kinda like a Hydra, if you cut off one head, two more grow back in its place." Fury answered him in a patient tone that everyone knew wasn't going to stay for very long if he kept being interrupted.

"Bold words about an organization with an octopus as its logo," Loki didn't even look up from his book that he didn't walk into the room with.

Clint swiveled to look at him in the corner of the room, "Loki, you gotta let it go."

"I will not!"

Fury began to talk loudly over them to regain their attention, "The organization changed its name to fit it's leader's dress up game, it now goes by The Kingdom, but as far as we are concerned, it is still Hydra."

"You mentioned a weapon?" Vision sat invested in the meeting, unlike most of the others.

"That's what they are calling her, yes."

"How long has she been active?" Bucky spoke quietly, but firmly from his seat.

Nick paused a moment, watching Bucky before he answered, "As far as we can tell at least three years."

"And you're just telling us now?!" Steve straightened in his seat, not happy with the lack of transparency.

"Cool it, Rogers, they didn't have any information other than that she existed." Nat looked up from cleaning her nails.

Steve raised his eyebrows at her, "Oh, and they told you?"

"No."

Pietro started to roll his chair around the room, "Why is this meeting so long?" He dragged out the last word as he rolled around the table.

Loki used his foot to stop him when he approached, "If you don't stop whining I'm gonna make sure repayment is unnecessary."

"I owe you nothing!"

"I'm pretty sure saving your life is the definition of you owing me something."

"Blah!"

"Alright!" Sam yelled, throwing his hands in the air, sick of the bickering. "What kinda powers this chick got?"

Tony held a few fingers to his forehead, "Do I need to call anyone? The spider-kid, King Panther? Ant-dude? The wizards?"

Nick took back control, "Not for now, Tony. We don't know where she is or where she is going to strike next. We know she is enhanced, but no one can figure out exactly if she has powers, and if she does, what they are. For now, we just need you to be aware. She is extremely skilled in infiltration and we have no idea what she looks like, just that she was able to take an extremely valuable target on their behalf at a high profile event we had under surveillance and walk out unnoticed, and unidentified."

"So what you're saying," Rhodes spoke up for the first time, "is that we don't know what she looks like, don't know what she can do, but she's out there. So lookout."

Fury sighed, "Yes, that is exactly what I'm saying."

"So," Bruce looked at Fury, puzzled, "what do you want us to do?"

He shook his head, "I don't know."

There were a few beats of silence, no one knowing what to do.

Thor was leaning against the wall, listening quietly, believe it or not, "And her name?"

Throughout the meeting, Fury had been standing, but at this question, he sat down to answer it, "They're calling her The Queen."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another rich diplomat. Another party. And of course what's a party anymore without either a murder or a kidnapping? The real question is: why not both?

That's how it's been lately. The missions Noxy goes on are usually parties, balls, banquets. She goes in, gets the target alone with baffling ease, and either extracts the information herself right then and there, or delivers him to fellow agents and wipes her hands clean.

I've grown used to what she's doing. No matter how long or hard I tried to break free from the cage I was trapped in, nothing changed. Not even a blink.

So I stopped trying. I watched. I watched as she murdered. I watched as she tortured. I watched as she developed the unimaginable powers that were given. I watched as she became everything I wanted to be. I watched as she became everything I didn't.

I learned how to block out a lot of things that she did. It was manageable to block out one sense, usually sight. It got hard when I had to block two, and it became impossible if it grew to three. Touch was the hardest to stop. It was especially frustrating when that was all I wanted to block out.

The target was some rich dude with high standing in some organization that had some information that Henry needed. The briefings were the one time I was consistently not paying any attention. Once again her sights were placed upon a well dressed, old, white, balding man. The white dress that clung to my figure must have made my body irresistible to well dressed, old, white, balding men because while Noxy skirted just outside his circle, his eyes followed.

Just like all the others, he was caught hook, line, and sinker.

It was simple really, it was almost like there was a formula. Champagne glass half full held delicately by the fingertips. A casual lean against the bar, the leg with the slit slightly out-turned to show an inch or two of more skin.

They all think they're playboys. Just once I can't wait for Noxy to have to think of something different when having to get a well-respected scientist who loves his wife away from the crowd.

With a sultry stare and flirty introductions, a witty remark and the swing of the hips and they're gone from the crowd. His hand was planted at the small of her back, but the farther we strayed from the crowd the farther his hand strayed.

The mansion the banquet thingy was being hosted at was nice. It was nice as all of the other mansions were. He guided Noxy down a long hallway, farther and farther from all the people who could protect him. He eventually came to a large bedroom and opened the door, allowing Noxy to go in first.

I knew what was about to happen, so I started the theme song that I had come up for her.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CduA0TULnow 

I think I did it again I made you believe we're more than just friends Oh baby It might seem like a crush But it doesn't mean that I'm serious 'Cause to lose all my senses That is just so typically me Oh baby, baby

He closed the door with a barely noticeable click and began to approach Noxy. Unfortunately for him, she wasn't in the mood.

Oops, I did it again I played with your heart, got lost in the game Oh baby, baby

She picked at her nails for a moment before his eyes grew wide looking at her hands. The reason for his stare was the black pigment that spread from her fingertips up her arms.

Oops, you think I'm in love That I'm sent from above

He started to turn around, but Noxy was too fast for him. The darkness was too fast for him.

I'm not that innocent

A cloud, a shadow, that's what was emitted from her hands that engulfed the target's head and face. It was there for a moment, then it was gone just as quickly. His body collapsed to the ground, unconscious.

You see my problem is this I'm dreaming away Wishing that heroes, they truly exist I cry, watching the days Can't you see I'm a fool in so many ways But to lose all my senses That is just so typically me Oh baby, oh

With the target on her shoulder, she walked away from the bedroom window towards the extraction point, with heels on still, mind you.

Oops, I did it again I played with your heart, got lost in the game Oh baby, baby Oops, you think I'm in love That I'm sent from above I'm not that innocent

The mansion was built in a remote part of the world, surrounded by a forest with at least a hundred miles of privacy. Noxy scaled the uneven terrain easily enough, though she did occasionally hike up her skirt and push off of the trees to give her momentum.

Oops, I did it again to your heart Got lost in this game, oh baby Oops, you think that I'm sent from above I'm not that innocent

I'm not sure how long I've watched her go on these missions. I'm not sure when the last time was when I blinked of my own free will. It feels like a lifetime, but it also feels so close, like only yesterday I could brush my fingers through my hair and if I just pushed a little harder, I could do it again. I've been in here for months, I know, but if those months added up to a year or more, I had no idea.

Oops, I did it again I played with your heart, got lost in the game Oh baby, baby

Somehow, out of all the hundreds of miles of trees and darkness, Noxy came upon a pair of men. They looked to be surveiling. I had no idea who they worked for, but I could tell they were professionals. They saw Noxy too late, which is hilarious since she's wearing a stark white dress and heels with a man on her shoulder. Though she was naturally quiet, there's only so much you can do to muffle that sound. Noxy didn't even have to shift the target from her shoulder when she fired up her shadow hands, but she was not so merciful to these agents. From her fingers flew a beam of darkness. Technically I could barely see it from the combination of speed and the lack of light. The trees above carefully shielded the ground from the shine of the moon and her sister stars.

Oops, you think I'm in love That I'm sent from above

I've seen maybe thousands of beams just like it though. It mimicked the shape of an icicle, though made of shadows or some sort of unidentifiable pitch-black material. The first man fell to the ground with a gaping hole at the base of his throat. The second attempted to draw a weapon but was struggling to get the gun out of its straps. Noxy took the time to walk closer to him until they were no farther than a few feet away. I could see the fear in his eyes, and I'm sure he could see the indifference or maybe even pleasure in hers. She sent a spear of shadow into his stomach. She wanted him to die slowly. Or at least with how much blood was coming from the wound, slower.

He fell to the ground and tried to crawl away backward all the while trying to keep the blood inside his body.

Noxy didn't care anymore for him and left him to suffer in the dirt. She continued on in her mission.

I'm not that innocent

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Avengers were gathered in the common room for some downtime when F.R.I.D.A.Y caught everyone's attention.

"Director Nick Fury is calling."

"Put 'im on," Tony waved his hand as he sat down on the couch.

Fury was projected onto the screen in the common room and he was relieved to see that everyone was already there.

"What's up?"

Fury took a breath as if to prepare himself for what he was about to say, "We have a singular feature to identify The Queen with."

Everyone suddenly became quite serious and sat up in their seats. The more anxious ones scooted closer and were barely on the cushions waiting for him to elaborate.

Pietro was curious, but not too worried, "Only one?"

"Our informant died before we could get any more of a description."

Pietro swallowed but didn't speak again.

Fury had a grave look on his face as he revealed what they had to look for,

"She has black eyes."

[nohhh]

Classified Mission: Eastern Europe Romanogers fanfic

WORD COUNT: 1605

CHAPTER 1 | CHAPTER 2 | CHAPTER 3 | CHAPTER 4 

********************************************************************************

Natasha and Steve woke up to the alarm at 0330 hours, their hands still entwined. Their previous exchanges that night still hung in the air, unspoken. Steve’s hair was mussed up as it always was in the morning, Natasha’s was nearly the same as it always was. Perfectly curled. They went to the bathroom, brushing their teeth and showering, separately. Natasha went first, while Steve brushed his teeth and splashed water on his face. Natasha came out of the shower and Steve went in, while Natasha brushed her own teeth and dried herself off. They went to the kitchen preparing a small breakfast and ate it at the counter when Maria Hill appeared on the screen, giving them a quick explanation of where they were going first. They were to arrive in Prague and there they would meet Sergeant Barnes and Sam Wilson. The pair would escort them to their hotel. Steve and Natasha would be in one room and Wilson and Barnes would be in the other room across the hall.

“Understood?”

“Yes, ma’am”

The line clicked off.

“We better be going.” Natasha said “We’ll get Bruce to clean up the breakfast.”

“Good idea.”

The pair quickly went over to Bruce and Thor’s house, knocking on the door. Bruce opened it.

“Hey Bruce, we’re leaving now, so will you two go over now?” Natasha asked him.

“Sure, sure, sure. THOR!” He called back into the living room.

“Who summons me?” Thor inquired walking into the foyer.

“We’re going over to Steve and Nat’s house now.” Bruce quickly explained.

Thor nodded and went back into the living room. Presumably to get the bags.

“Here is the key. We have to go.” Steve said. Steve and Natasha turned around in the direction of their garage. They were already dressed in their Black Widow and Captain America suits. The pair walked to the garage and jumped onto their motorbikes.

“Race you to headquarters.” Natasha called back to the soldier, who was after kicking up his kickstand and was grinning with the prospect of challenge. They raced out of the complex and onto the main road, weaving in and out of traffic. Natasha kept a steady lead but Steve was catching up quickly, soon the pair were neck and neck and pulling into the headquarters.

Maria came out to greet them and handed them their files and visas, before ushering them onto the plane while some interns took their motorbikes. The plane was simple, a cargo plane, perfect for skydiving were the unspoken words between the captain and assassin. They sat together on a bench. They were the only people on the plane besides the pilot at the front, separated by a thick steel wall.

“So, drug cartel, mercenaries, crime wave?” Natasha said opening the file.

“Try all three.” Steve replied.

“Oh God, it’s completely underground, in some cases literally.”

“We’ll have to flush them out of hiding, but the file clearly states- no going undercover.”

“We’ll figure something out, we always do. Do you know how long Bucky and Sam have been in Prague?”

“I didn’t even know they were there. To be honest, it’s a wonder they haven’t killed each other.”

“Sam probably stuck fridge magnets to poor Bucky’s arm.” They grinned.

“Nat, how long is this flight?”

“Nine hours, thirty-four minutes. Why?”

“I was just wondering how long we’d be here.” Steve answered.

“Oh, OK”

“Nat?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t get hurt.”

“I won’t you’re not allowed to get hurt wither, Steve.” “I won’t, as long as we protect each other we’ll be fine.” “Agreed, Wilson and Barnes will look after each other as well.”

“They try to kill each other, every day.”

“Check this out.”

It was a file, marked BERLIN.

Inside was the classified mission SHIELD had sent Bucky and Sam on a month ago. According to it, they had worked together to take out a lead cartel boss. Natasha and Steve were impressed and looked at the file photo. There was a magnet on Bucky’s arm. Another on Sam’s wing. They laughed.

“We should probably get some rest for Prague.” Steve suggested.

“You’re probably right.” Natasha agreed. Putting her head on his shoulder. Steve leaned his head onto Natasha’s and they slept until a half an hour before Prague.

They woke up to an alarm on of them had set eight hours previous.

“Are you ready?” Natasha looked at Steve

“Sure am. Got the bag?”

“Yes. Barnes and Wilson are probably waiting for us.”

“Dramatic entrance?”  

“I’m tempted, but would that draw unwanted attention our way.”

“You’re right. Will we ask the pilot if we will touch down or skydive?”

“I’d love to jump out anyway.”

They made their way to the cockpit where there was no pilot. Stark industries strikes again.

They went back to the back where an announcement was playing over the speakers.

“Please jump now, please jump now, please jump now…”

They went over to the skydive equipment area, where there was only one left.

“Here Nat, you take it, I don’t need one anyway.”

“I don’t need it, you do, I’ve jumped off higher than this.”

“Nat, if you won’t take it – I have an idea.”

“What is it?”

“I’ll put it on and hold you and we’ll jump out like that.” “Better than nothing.” Natasha agreed

Steve slung the pack over his shoulders, handing his shield to Natasha who placed it over her own shoulders. The diving platform had opened so Steve picked Natasha up and walked over to the opening, they peered over into the clouds.

“Somewhere down there Bucky and Sam are waiting, let’s put them out of their misery.” Natasha said. Steve nodded.

Taking a few steps backward, Steve prepared for a running jump.

“You’re Ok with this, aren’t you?”

“Hell yes, come on.”

Steve ran and jumped off the cargo plane. They were flying through the clouds. Natasha shouted up at Steve.

“I don’t think we’re landing at an airport somehow.”

“Why?”

“I see a lot of green fields and there are two dark specks in one of them.”

“That’s our stop then. Can you pull the string, I don’t want to drop you.”

Natasha nodded and tugged at the sting. They were immediately brought up in the wind draft and started floating down. Soon enough they could make out the conversation between the pair on the ground.

“Any minute now they’ll come sweeping in like angels.” Sam said

“Sam, they are sweeping in like angels look at the sky.”

“That’s only one of them. Wait, we took the other one didn’t we.”

Up in the sky, Natasha grinned at Steve.

“Dramatic entrance?”

“Hell yes.”

Sam and Bucky were still arguing when a parachute pack fell onto the ground metres away from them.

“What?” They looked at the sky and saw two separate specks free – falling toward them. They were staring wide-eyed as the captain and assassin landed in the field and cockily grinned at them.

“Hope we didn’t keep you waiting.” Natasha spoke first.

“That would be a pity.” Steve added.

Sam and Bucky took one look at them, glanced at each other and decided to wipe those cocky grins off their faces. Sam dived for Steve and Bucky went for Natasha. The elite pair had seen this coming and simply side-stepped them.

“You missed.” Natasha said. Bucky and Sam were lying in the field wondering what had just happened them.

“Come on, we have to get to the hotel.” Steve said, offering Natasha his arm. She took it graciously.

“Come on, guys we don’t know where we’re going.” They called back.

Sam had managed to get his shoe stuck in the mud and Bucky was helping him pull it out. They got it and were thrown backwards by momentum. Grumbling Bucky handed Sam his shoe. They led Natasha and Steve to a car they had parked next to a ditch. They told Steve and Nat to sit in the back while they took the front. Sam appeared to be the designated driver. Bucky was arguing with Sam in the front.

“You do know where the hotel is?”

“Of course I do.”

“And you won’t get lost, like last time.”

“THIS ISN’T LAST TIME BUCKY, I WON’T GET LOST.”

Steve and Natasha glanced at each other in the back. The ‘last time’ sounded interesting to say the least.

“And anyway why don’t you know where the hotel is?”

“I do, I was just making sure you knew.”

Something was happening outside the window. A motorcycle kept pulling up next to them at red lights, Natasha and Steve focused on the passenger. They appeared to be holding some sort of spherical shaped thing. Natasha realized what it was a fraction before Steve.

“Sam, floor it and whatever you do, don’t go near a large public area.” She said quietly.

Sam and Bucky glanced at the motorbike, glanced at each other and nodded. Bucky pulled a pistol out of seemingly nowhere and Sam roared the engine to life, slamming the pedals and flooring it. Bucky kept the pistol low, not letting the pair on the bike see it. They kept pace with the car.

Soon they were out on a flat, empty stretch of road surrounded by fields. Sam clobbered the brakes, bringing the car to a sudden halt. The motorcycle flew past them. They realized their mistake quickly and the passenger hurled the grenade at four. Bucky opened the door and he and Sam went through it, crouching behind the car. Steve and Natasha did the same. The four jumped into a field as a world of flame and flying debris rained around them.

[deniscollins]

For Millions Deep in Student Loan Debt, Bankruptcy Is No Easy Fix

Bankruptcy gives over 700,000 debtors a fresh start every year. Bills for credit cards and medical expenses can be wiped away by a few strokes of a judge’s pen, and debts that don’t vanish are reduced. But student loan debts don’t go away as easily. For decades, politicians have slowly made them harder to discharge. If you had a large student loan debt that was extremely difficult to payoff due to losing your job, would you: (1) try negotiating a deal with the lender to delay paying the loan or (2) declare bankruptcy to significantly reduce the amount owed? Why? What are the ethics underlying your decision?

With two mortgages, three children and $83,000 in student loan debt, the financial strain finally became too much for George A. Johnson and Melanie Raney-Johnson.

New bills kept piling up: The couple had to buy another car when Mr. Johnson wrecked one in a snowstorm, but their insurance didn’t fully pay off the totaled vehicle. Old debts never seemed to get any smaller, either: A mortgage modification they spent months working on fell through when the bank lost their paperwork.

And their student debt, an albatross born of aspiration, grew heavier each month.

Bankruptcy was the only way out.

“It was not an easy decision,” Ms. Raney-Johnson said of filing for bankruptcy in 2011. “It was a feeling of despair, for sure.”

Bankruptcy gives over 700,000 debtors a fresh start every year. Bills for credit cards and medical expenses can be wiped away by a few strokes of a judge’s pen, and debts that don’t vanish are reduced.

But student loan debts don’t go away as easily. For decades, politicians have slowly made them harder to discharge, while differing standards in courts across the country mean a debtor’s chances can depend on where he or she lives.

The few debtors who attempt it are subjected to a morality play unlike anything else in the world of personal finance: so-called adversary proceedings, where they must lay themselves bare in court as opposing lawyers question how much they pay for lunch or give to their church.

The Johnsons tried anyway. They had borrowed about $45,000 for Mr. Johnson’s degree in sociology at the University of St. Mary in Kansas and Ms. Raney-Johnson’s pursuit of a bachelor’s degree from the University of California, Davis. Unable to pay, they had received permission to put off their payments, but their balance nearly doubled as interest charges continued to pile up.

Mr. Johnson lost his job after they filed for bankruptcy and, unable to afford a lawyer, Ms. Raney-Johnson prepared their case. She remembers how she felt when they arrived at the Robert J. Dole Federal Courthouse in Kansas City, Kan., on a sunny September day seven years ago.

“My heart was beating, and I was sweating,” said Ms. Raney-Johnson, now in her mid-40s and a billing supervisor for a federal agency.

In 2015, the year the Johnsons got their ruling, 884,956 personal bankruptcy cases flowed through the courts. Only 674 sought to discharge student debt, according to a recent analysis by Jason Iuliano, assistant law professor at Villanova University.

The New York Times reviewed dozens of cases in which a judge issued a published opinion — the Bankruptcy Class of 2015 — to understand the pains and payoffs five years later. Some debtors are on a better course. But for others, the struggles never went away — or came back after they thought they were free.

Rising Costs, Rising Debts

Bankruptcy begins with debt, and student loans are the second-biggest form of household debt in the United States. More than 43 million borrowers hold over $1.6 trillion in student loans, a sum that has more than tripled in 13 years. It exceeds what Americans owe on credit cards or auto loans and trails only mortgages.

Sixty-two percent of students who graduated from nonprofit colleges in 2019 had student loan debt, according to an Institute for College Access & Success analysis. Their average balance was $28,950 — not including borrowing by their parents.

Many struggle mightily to pay: Before the government’s coronavirus relief efforts paused federal student loan payments, 7.7 million borrowers were in default and nearly two million others were seriously behind.

The solution has been a public-policy patch job.

About eight million additional borrowers use income-driven repayment plans, which can be challenging to enter. And while the plans lower payments, borrowers accrue interest on the unpaid difference. The debt is eventually forgiven — usually after 20 or 25 years — but the forgiven amount is taxable income.

A related program forgives the federal student loan debts of public-service workers, tax free, after 10 years, but it has been deeply troubled. Borrowers have made payments for years only to learn they were in the wrong kind of payment plan. It got so bad that Congress had to create a separate pot of money to try to fix it.

The election could give momentum to a change: President-elect Joseph R. Biden Jr. — who supported a 2005 law that made private student loans harder to discharge — has vowed to change the loan rule back if elected. But few Republicans have voiced support for a plan to change bankruptcy rules. A House bill has one Republican co-sponsor, Representative John Katko of New York, but the Senate’s version, led by Senator Richard J. Durbin of Illinois, has only Democratic support.

All the student debt poses a problem. Its weight, experts say, has macroeconomic effects, dragging on homeownership and small-business formation. But the fallout goes beyond simple economics.

There is also a mental toll.

‘No Way Out’

Noelle DeLaet earned a bachelor of fine arts degree from Nebraska Wesleyan University in 2008 — the teeth of the Great Recession. She tacked on another year for a degree in English to make herself more attractive to employers. Perhaps in publishing, she thought.

She left school with $110,000 in debt: roughly $27,000 from the federal government and the rest in private loans co-signed by her mother. The $810 monthly bill, set to climb when the payment plan on one private loan expired, soon overwhelmed her.

Ms. DeLaet, now 34, landed in the child welfare field as a foster care review specialist in Lincoln, Neb. — rewarding, but not lucrative. She sent out hundreds of résumés for better-paying jobs and pleaded with her lenders to reduce her payments. Soon, the creditors started in on her mother and put her on the verge of bankruptcy, too.

Ms. DeLaet’s breaking point came in May 2012 when she ran up against the $4,000 limit on her credit card while trying to buy a burrito at a Mexican grocery. She felt so helpless at times that she considered suicide.

“I looked all over Google for some sort of support group for others going through this,” Ms. DeLaet said. “I felt like there was no way out.”

When Ms. DeLaet squared off in court against her student-loan creditors, they quibbled with the $12 she spent each month on recycling. She should have tried harder for a promotion, they argued. Or moved somewhere else for more money.

Judge Thomas L. Saladino bristled at that idea. In his opinion, he wrote that she lived in the state’s second-largest city, “as good a place as any to seek a better-paying job.”

The judge discharged about $119,000 in private loans, and an additional $23,000 was forgiven by one of her lenders. But her $27,000 in federal loans stuck: She’s paying those back through an income-driven repayment plan costing about $260 a month. Because she works at a nonprofit, her debt should eventually disappear via the Public Service Loan Forgiveness program.

For Ms. DeLaet, the process was worth it: She has married her boyfriend, had two children and bought a home. Her mother is an “amazing” grandmother, she said, although they still cannot discuss the past.

“It is an untouchable subject,” she said.

Rumors and Rules

The transformation in the bankruptcy rules began in 1976, with unfounded rumors.

A handful of legislators claimed to have heard about a parade of young doctors and lawyers who were trying to game the system and shed their debts while embarking on lucrative careers. The lawmakers toughened the rules, largely preventing borrowers from seeking a discharge within five years of graduation. The rules only got tougher over the next three decades.

Borrowers must show that their student loans are an “undue hardship” — a standard interpreted differently, depending on where you live. Some judicial circuits, including those in Nebraska, where Ms. DeLaet filed, have the judge review a “totality of the circumstances” for the debtor and make a decision.

Other jurisdictions employ a less flexible standard, the Brunner test, named for the case that established it. Judges must answer three questions affirmatively to discharge the debt. First, has the debtor made a good-faith effort to repay the loans? Second, is the debtor unable to maintain a minimal standard of living while making the payments? And, finally, is the debtor’s situation likely to persist?

But even jurisdictions that use the Brunner test apply it differently. Some require the judge to find that the borrowers have a “certainty of hopelessness” in paying off their debt. Other jurisdictions do not.

Here, the Johnsons may have benefited from geographic good fortune.

‘Virtual Lifetime Servitude’

Lawyers for the Educational Credit Management Corporation — a nonprofit that collects defaulted loans on behalf of the federal government — examined how the Johnsons spent their $2,100 monthly income.

Every expense was scrutinized, including Ms. Raney-Johnson’s $35 monthly union dues, her $100 retirement contribution and $215 to repay loans from her retirement plan. None, the nonprofit’s lawyers argued, were necessary to maintain a “minimal standard of living.”

In his opinion — written more than a year after hearing arguments — Judge Robert D. Berger disagreed. He wrote that the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 10th Circuit, which covers Kansas, had shifted from the most rigid interpretation of the three-part test, which he described as “an unfortunate relic.”

Judge Berger wasn’t sure how the Johnsons were subsisting at all based on their income, and he said courts shouldn’t rely on “unfounded optimism” about a debtor’s future.

“It is disconsonant with public policy and bankruptcy’s fresh start to leave debtors in virtual lifetime servitude to student loans,” he wrote.

The judge discharged their student loans: $83,000 in debt, wiped away.

“I was ecstatic,” Ms. Raney-Johnson said of the moment she received the decision letter. “I probably said some curse words.”

Their good fortune didn’t last.

Laughs Over Lunches

Opposing lawyers — whether they work for the federal government or for private lenders — are tenacious. Their approach can feel like bullying, if not humiliation.

When Pamela Monroe went to an Arkansas bankruptcy court in 2015, she was 57 with a student-loan balance of about $56,000. She was working in the fragrance section of a Dillard’s department store, and her lunch habits — like $6.10 at Taco Bell and $12.72 at Olive Garden — were a focus of intense interest.

Eating out, Ms. Monroe testified, was her primary form of recreation and a midday necessity: Co-workers would sometimes steal colleagues’ lunches from the break room.

“They laughed about that when I told them,” she said. “I felt at that moment like I was a cornered animal and they were poking sticks at me.”

Ms. Monroe said she had spent her life making choices that others seemed to dictate — marrying two years out of high school and becoming a mother, as her parents seemed to want. After two divorces, she reached for higher education in a bid for independence.

She graduated from the University of Arkansas-Fort Smith with a communications degree and pursued a master’s in speech language pathology. She didn’t finish that program, leaving her with the debt but not the advanced degree. And she couldn’t seem to break out of low-paying work.

“I would have loved to pay them back,” Ms. Monroe said. “But I never could, because nobody ever saw any value in me.”

Judge Ben Barry found Ms. Monroe’s restaurant spending excessive, but noted that she had changed jobs frequently seeking higher pay. Her income, he wrote in his opinion, about doubled between 2010 and 2015, to over $26,000.

But even a reduced budget he outlined would not leave her enough money to make her student loan payments, so he discharged just over half of her student loans.

She would most likely have been paying that off until she was in her 80s. But last year, Ms. Monroe, now 63 and dealing with osteoarthritis and other health problems, received a disability discharge for the rest of her debt.

Now all she wants to do is live out her days in her $510-a-month apartment in a retirement community. “It has a sprinkler system and an elevator, very safe,” she said.

But she hasn’t stopped thinking about the way the system and its actors — like the lawyer on the opposite side in her case — seemed to render judgment on her life choices.

“I didn’t do anything wrong,” she said. “I was just living, but I got in trouble for eating.”

Back to Haunt Them

In 2016, the Johnsons learned their loan discharge was being appealed by lawyers for Educational Credit Management Corporation.

Paradoxically, they were worse off because their financial situation had improved: Ms. Raney-Johnson earned a promotion, and Mr. Johnson, now in his mid-40s like his wife, found a stable government job. A year after discharging their loans, Judge Berger concluded that the couple could now “easily” maintain a minimal standard of living and reinstated their debt — which had ballooned even more because of interest charges.

Preparing to send their own children to college, the Johnsons requested another forbearance. Their balance continues to grow: It’s roughly $104,000 today.

Ms. Raney-Johnson took the final class she needed for her biology degree over the summer. But the debt was already piling up for the next generation. Their oldest, a college sophomore, expects to owe about $45,000 when she graduates. Their middle child, a high school senior, is looking at colleges now. Ms. Raney-Johnson said she and her husband — who are putting about $5,000 a year toward their daughter’s tuition — would try to remain in forbearance for now.

In August, they received a notice about an income-driven repayment plan, which would start out costing about $550 a month. From there, the cost depends on many factors, including job changes, raises and eligibility for forgiveness programs. If they’re able to get into the public service program, the debt could go away a decade after they start paying. If not, the bills could continue coming for about 20 years — right around the time the Johnsons will be trying to retire.

The experience, Ms. Raney-Johnson said, has been “disheartening.” She and her husband had run up against opposition that could keep going with little regard for time or expense, knowing that they couldn’t.

“It feels like getting screwed over by someone with a lot more power and money,” she said.

[thefinalcinderella]

DIVE!! Book 3 Chapter 6-NEVER EVER LOSE

This chapter was hell

Full list of translations here

Previously on DIVE!!: Youichi’s many many emotional issues come to the surface. A lunch date with Kayoko. More of that weird snowman metaphor.

“It seems that Tomo-kun had been injured during practice.”

After he wandered aimlessly around the neighbourhood, Youichi finally returned home, where he received that piece of shocking news from Yoriko. It had been at night, and the sun had already set a long time ago.

Tomoki had been quietly engaged in practice on that day. With his usual possessed look, he threw his whole body from the platform, devoting himself to that one moment alone. The pool’s closing time was approaching, and Keisuke had blown his whistle and called, “that’s all for today,” but he climbed the steps of the diving tower as though being pulled by his hair, and stood on the deserted platform.

He might have been impatient, thinking about how little time he had left. Tomoki had been too busy with only doing the 4½, and had attempted the forward 2½ somersaults in tuck position while still catching his breath. However, his takeoff had lacked concentration as well as momentum, and its height and distance were not enough.

As a result, Tomoki, who dived facing the pool, hit the back of his head on the tip of the platform the moment he bent his head backwards, and apparently falling ten-meters below powerlessly, like a twig.

“It seemed that there was a huge fuss because he temporarily lost consciousness and was bleeding, but thankfully, it looks like his injury isn’t that bad. I heard that he is going to receive a thorough checkup tomorrow, just in case, but Tomo-kun is in good health now, so no need to worry.”

No need to worry. The moment he heard Yoriko say that, Youchi’s stiffened body was sapped of its strength. He hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast, so any moment now he felt like he was going to suddenly fall on his knees.

It was a million-to-one chance incident. It followed a diver around, like a lightning bolt on a stormy night. Even though lightning was ringing from the other side of the sky, people wouldn’t think it would fall on their own heads. But, sometimes it happened. If a famous veteran diver lost their career in a momentary accident, the shock of it sometimes left a deep trauma in the athlete’s mind.

Trauma.

The after-effects of an unforgettable wound—.

“Forward somersault, huh…”

Youichi murmured unconsciously, causing Yoriko to look at him as if searching for something.

“Did you recall it?”

“No, it’s nothing.”

Flustered, Youichi shook his head and asked, “So, where’s Tomo now?”

“He’s still in the hospital. He’s going to stay overnight at the hospital to monitor his situation, but if there’s no abnormalities in the results of examination, then he will leave tomorrow.”

There seemed to be no abnormalities in Tomoki’s examination results, so he didn’t actually have to wait until the afternoon of next day to leave. Keisuke, who had been present at the examination, informed them of that, so Youichi could breathe a sigh of relief once again, but he still wasn’t completely reassured.

Ever since the Olympic representative decision had been passed down, he hadn’t been able to make himself go to Tomoki’s house while he worried about its circumstances, but that afternoon, Youichi decided to pay it a visit.

It took ten minutes to ride from Higashikitazawa to Kyoudou Station, enduring the looks of the people riding in the same train car as him.

It took eight minutes to walk from Kyoudou Station to Tomoki’s house in a light rain.

It was around two P.M. when Youichi, holding a heavy present to his chest, arrived at the Sakai house.

“Oh my, Youichi-kun. During the time when I haven’t seen you in a while, you’re still as handsome as ever.”

Tomoki’s mother, who greeted him at the front door, had her eyes glued to the gift rather than Youichi’s face as she said that.

“We have other guests here, but please feel free to go upstairs.”

He was told as he went upstairs, and then he pushed open the door with his right elbow.

Those guests who surrounded Tomoki’s bed all turned to face the door.

Ryou. Reiji. Sachiya. Their eyes were focused on the present Youichi was still holding—a huge potted plant.

“Th…those flowers are really pretty.” Tomoki managed, as though his voice was being forcibly squeezed out.

“Aren’t they?” Youichi responded with a nod. “They’re the moth orchids that I got from you.”

“What—”

“I’m lending them to you until your injury is healed.”

Right after saying that condescendingly, Youichi walked towards the writing desk that showed little indication of being used much, and placed the pot on it with both hands. The thud sound that reverberated to the floor eloquently indicated its weight. The queen-like moth orchids did not seem to be perturbed by the change in their environment, spreading its petals aloofly as though the lives of common folk did not interest them.

“Youichi-kun, did you actually bring them all the way from your house?”

In response to Tomoki emphasizing the word “actually,” Youichi swung his shoulders in circles. “Yep. It’s good to do some muscle training.”

“Ee—”

“But I still had to put the pot down three times on the way here to rest.”

“Why did you take so much trouble…”

“I was also thinking that while I was coming here.” Youichi said disappointedly. “Even though I thought it was a pretty great idea, it’s not that great when you are trying to do it the hard way, isn’t it?”

Tomoki was agape for a moment, and then suddenly smiled.

“No, it’s great, really. Thank you.  Those flowers really do seem a little bit like princes, don’t they?”

His voice contained a carefreeness that had been obscured by a shadow lately, and when Youichi looked into Tomoki’s eyes again, it seemed as though his former cheerfulness had returned to his eyes somewhat.

Or, it might be because of the friends who were surrounding him.

“Hey, Youichi-kun, Ryou-kun came.”

Turning at Sachiya’s voice, he saw Ryou sitting cross-legged next to the bed and looking embarrassed. “Hi,” Ryou said, and ducked his head. He hadn’t seen him since the announcement for the Asia Joint Training Camp members.

“Yo, it’s been a while.”

“Sorry for going off without permission.”

“The old man was waiting for you. He was wondering if it wasn’t time for Ryou to come back soon.”

He responded with a light tone, but Ryou fell into an awkward silence, and Tomoki’s and Reiji’s eyes lost their calmness.

“That’s because Ryou-kun isn’t coming back.” Sachiya piped up innocently. “He started to play basketball.”

“Basketball?”

“Well, it’s…” Ryou shut his eyes, embarrassed. “At first, I was just playing around with the guys from the basketball club, but unexpectedly, I seemed to have some talent, and everyone said that I should officially join the club…and I want to try it out seriously, a little bit.”

“Oh?”

“I don’t like doing either one halfway, so I am planning on filing a withdrawal notice to the MDC soon.”

“Oh…”

He would be lying if he said he wouldn’t miss him. However, Youichi also felt that he had anticipated Ryou’s limits quite a while ago. As a diver, he was missing something. It seemed cruel, but in reality, the field of sports is a cruel thing. Even so, whether one continued to dive in search of improvement of oneself, or go a different way in search of new possibilities, the only one who had the right to choose was oneself.

One’s future is something belongs only to oneself. No one else can shoulder it on someone else’s behalf, huh…

While reflecting upon Kayoko’s words, Youichi turned to Ryou and said, “I’m going to tell this now.”

“When we were kids, when everyone went to the Junior Olympics, there was some sort of big fuss because your bright red swimsuit was gone.”

“Oh yeah, for some reason it was found in the women’s washroom…”

It wasn’t just Ryou, but also Tomoki and Reiji who nodded nostalgically.

“Well, the one who hid it was me.”

“Huh?” Ryou exclaimed, startled at the sudden confession. “But Youichi-kun, you felt sorry for me at that time, and you loaned me your spare swimsuit, didn’t you?”

“I think of myself as a petty brat, but your bright red swimsuit was flashier than my yellow one, wasn’t it? Since a long time ago, because I had to be number one in everything, I couldn’t allow you to stand out more than me. I had enough rivals with Pinky Yamada alone. Sorry about that.”

“So that’s why you gave me a plain, dark gray spare…”

“But on that day, because I caught the cold or something, I lost big in the end, so I got really angry realizing that even if my swimsuit stood out it was meaningless if I lost the competition. I remember that in desperation, I took off my swimsuit and threw it into the pool, then returned to the locker room completely naked.”

“Oh, I remember that too,” Tomoki raised his voice. “Was that the background for the swimsuit incident?”

“On that day, when I saw Youichi-kun lose his temper over losing the competition, I was deeply moved that he was also a human being after all…” Ryou murmured in a daze. Excluding Youichi, the other four performed the work of revising their memories in silence for a while, and then somebody burst out laughing.

“I’ve been tormented by the pangs of my conscience for a long time,” Youichi said while laughing. “Well, because I have such a selfish personality, an individual sport like diving fits me perfectly. But Ryou, a team sport like basketball might suit you surprisingly well. You’re always touchy around people, but that’s just because you’ve always watched everyone carefully.”

“Youichi-kun…” Ryou was blushing.

“Good luck with basketball,” Youichi told him encouragingly. “If you ever get tired of being a team player and want to be alone, then you can always come and climb up the dragon.”

“Really?”

“Wearing something other than a bright red swimsuit, that is.”

A slippery smile spread across Ryou’s face, like he had just joined the MDC. “Of course,” he said, giving a nod.

After that, the laughter in the room never died out, as the five of them crowded it with stories about when they were little, or made “I can say this now” confessions, until around five, when the middle school trio of Ryou, Reiji and Sachiya got up. Even though only Tomoki, Youichi and the moth orchids were left after they went, the warm air was forever fragrant with the scent of friends. It was always around Tomoki. No matter how many tens of kilometers he ran, no matter how much he trained his abs, that was the only thing Youichi couldn’t obtain.

When it was just them, Youichi pulled the writing desk chair to the bedside and sat on it.

“Are you scared to dive?” he started off by asking what he had been thinking about the most.

“What, why?”

“There are some guys who cannot dive immediately when they get into an accident during practice. The fear of not knowing if they will be injured again takes precedence, becoming a serious trauma. Retirement is the worst-case scenario. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. I mean, I don’t remember the fear or the pain, since I fainted when I hit my head. Coach Fujitani said I was lucky.”

“You are.” Youichi gave a bitter smile at Tomoki’s nonchalant remarks. “But you don’t have to worry about it anymore.”

“Yeah. I understood from this that it’s not good to be impatient and to force myself.”

Tomoki smiled wryly, pushing his white bandage-wrapped head against the backboard of the bed.

“When I heard about the Olympics decision, I was definitely incredibly shocked. I was so shocked that I forgot about my heartbreak, couldn’t eat pudding, and had no idea if it was autumn or spring… Of course a reason for that is because I wasn’t chosen, but it’s not just that, um, how do I say this…I, well, I didn’t think that I wanted to surpass that box.”

“Oh, the box.”

It was a word that Tomoki often spoke of.

He always felt like he was closed in by something. He felt confined in that narrow box created by the adults. But if he dived, he could surpass that box—.

“Somehow, before I knew it, I thought surpassing that box meant going to the Olympics. I got those two things mixed up in my head, so I think that’s why I wanted to go to the Olympics that much. But, even though I say this in front of you, when I heard the reason that you and Teramoto-san were chosen as representatives, somehow in the end, I realized that the Olympics is also a box created by adults… The decision was made earlier than usual because of medals, the number of representatives was changed, and it seems like the JASF is working hard in different ways, but, but this…how do I put this, this feels like it isn’t our Olympics…”

It isn’t our Olympics.

Youichi was shocked at what Tomoki expressed. He felt that he had been able to guess exactly the core of all of his pent-up feelings in his chest.

“After all, even if we did or did not win medals, that really isn’t a problem for us. We practiced as hard as we could with our coaches, we are the ones going to the Olympics, so we don’t only have to be pleased or disappointed. But, that’s not it. After all, if you think about how adults in the center of the Olympics never saw our faces, then all of a sudden everything becomes so boring…”

I can’t say this well, but…Tomoki trailed off, but Youichi understood.

It was true that the JASF was working hard for the sake of medals. If it was advantageous for winning medals, they’d reduce the representative spots, and carefully arrange for a safety blanket and attendant for Teramoto-san as well. For them, an athlete might just be a chess piece for carrying medals.

But what were medals?

What was the Olympics?

What was sports?

Tomoki was also hiding feelings that were stuck in his heart, but cannot be shaped well, in his chest.

Youichi was surprised at that fact, but Tomoki was still not finished talking.

“That’s why, I wanted to do the 4½.” As though looking for something beyond the window frame that enclosed the dusk sky, he fixed his eyes there as he spoke. “I want to make the 4½ my own box.”

“The 4½?”

“Yep. It sounds like a dream, but that’s why I thought it was worth overcoming. It’s a box that I have decided on and I will overcome. That’s why no one will get in my way. If I succeed, then I’ll know it for sure, and everyone will see it. I wanted this clear box.”

His lower lip trembled faintly. Despite talking at his usual gentle tempo, a quiet anger dwelled in Tomoki’s eyes. Far from expressing that anger and changing it into hatred, he transformed it into a new goal. That was Tomoki’s strength, his unconscious stubbornness. Youichi shivered.

When I was absent from practice and struggling with my slump, was Tomoki thinking about these things?

Was that the meaning in his ferocious training?

While his head was wrapped in painful-looking bandages, looking like an injured warrior, sitting there was no longer his sensitive and delicate junior, but a single diver who tried to maintain his own tough will.

Tomoki was continuing to grow.

Not only outwardly, but inside as well.

“Six months ago, you were barely getting the hang of the 3½, let alone the 4½.” Before he knew it, his mouth was moving on its own. “Before you went to the training camp, you kept complaining that you couldn’t do the 4½ unless you grew wings.”

“Yeah, I remember.”

“But, now it’s different. You’re seriously going to dive it.”

Tomoki nodded, for the first time looking at Youichi with the eyes of a rival.

“Even if I can’t do it now, I might grow wings half a year or a whole year later.”

An indescribable sensation, as though the cells within his body were bursting all at once, as though those that were bursting were running for the top of his head, assailed Youichi.

The level of it was different from his feelings when he saw Ryou’s bright red swimsuit when he was little, but they might have come from the same deeply-rooted place.

It was a fighting spirit that thrusted out immediately after acknowledging a rival that possessed something “good.”

I don’t want to lose.

I’m not going to lose.

I’m the one who’s going to be number one.

As those feelings came to a boil, Youichi’s body was immersed in the stirring of his forgotten instincts.

He had to always be number one or else, he wanted to be more noticed than anyone else, he wanted to dive beautifully and coolly, he wanted to look down on everyone in the MDC, so he had always thought that diving was the only thing for someone like him who had a somewhat sharp tongue, uncooperative, and would hide his junior’s bright red swimsuit. No one would notice the likes of me if I stopped diving.

Tomoki was a junior who couldn’t be left alone. His honest personality and hidden, unknown talent were even moving. However, I, who never had a girlfriend in my entire seventeen years of life, cannot lose to him, who’s always surrounded by friends, lives in a normal, relaxing family, and even got a girlfriend in the first year of middle school.

He couldn’t lose to Shibuki, who thought of returning to Tsugaru when he was suffering from his back injury, and spent all summer having sex with his girlfriend.

I will win.

I will keep on winning.

But, for that to happen, I need to compete first—.

“What is it?”

It was like he had been roused out of a deep sleep. Youichi stood up straight, took long strides towards the writing desk, and picked up the motivating moth orchid’s vase with both hands.

“It’s stupid to give flowers to your enemy, and princes are more than enough by themselves. I’m taking this thing home after all.”

“What?”

“You were stupid too, but so was I. I’m getting a fresh start, once more. In the meantime, heal that injury of yours.”

Leaving a stunned Tomoki behind, he briskly walked out of the room. Tomoki’s mother was also stunned as she saw off Youichi, who was once again holding the potted plant and going back home, at the front door, but he didn’t care, and left with a “sorry for bothering you.”

The neighbourhood in the evening was not completely dim, like a bad manga artist pasted a screen-tone over it.

Youichi fended off the steadily strengthening rain by holding up his umbrella with his neck and shoulders, protecting the moth orchids from getting too much water on them.

If you couldn’t protect anything, then you should firmly determine what’s important to you, what’s dear to you.

While chewing on those kinds of thoughts, he stepped firmly on the road back, step by step.

“Excuse me.”

It was nighttime when Youichi visited Keisuke’s study.

Keisuke liked the setting sun, so he used the room on the west side of the second floor as his study. And yet, he was rarely at home during the time the setting sun shone, and on this day as well it was past nine when he returned home. It was past ten when he finished dinner and bathing and closed himself up in his study. Youichi opened the door to the room before eleven, when Keisuke had his reading glasses on and was writing in his practice log.

“All of the middle schoolers are absent today. They probably got together at Tomo’s house.” Glancing briefly at Youichi, he sighed grimly on his notebook.

Youichi was at a loss as to whether to tell him Ryou’s decision, but as soon as he thought of saying it himself, what came out of his mouth was his own decision instead.

“Um, I have a favor to ask.”

“A favor?”

Keisuke turned in surprise. Youichi had never been the type to cut straight to the point.

“Can you let me meet JASF’s Chairman Maebara?”

The fountain pen fell from Keisuke’s fingers,

“President Maebara?”

“I want to talk to him.”

���What do you want to talk about?”

“I can’t say that.”

“Why not?”

“If I do, you’ll feel awkward about being torn between the chairman and me.”

“…”

“And, you’ll definitely be on the chairman’s side.”

The illusionary snowman that had been enlarged to its limit was melting, and the running water was lapping at their feet.

Keisuke stayed as unmoving as a stone, and Youichi also didn’t move. Only time did.

It was the first time that father and son looked at each other for such a long time, and so directly.

Next time on DIVE!!: Uncomfortably relevant societal issues??