#but we all know Miss Rowling isn’t capable of writing anything new that would have to be original and interesting is she

[coella-cox]

This Harry Potter remake makes no sense to me bc we just did this. Like we JUST did this. Like mind you fantastic beasts is still kicking. Imagine Marvel remaking Age of Ultron- it makes NO SENSE!

At least write new stories like what?? No one wants to see Hargrid say, “Harry yer a wizard!” again bc we JUST did this. Also, we all know how the series ends (bc we just did this!) so why would I watch 7 seasons when I watch 8 movies every freaking Christmas

[whitewolfofwinterfell]

Harry Potter re-read: thoughts and ranking my favourite books

In 2020 I completed a full re-read of Harry Potter for the first time since I was a child. It was a rollercoaster experience of highs and lows; excitement, nostalgia, frustration, joy, boredom and everything in between. It took the whole year (in between reading other books) and I hit a wall in the sumer, but I’m glad I persevered and made it to the end. This series will always hold a special place in my heart and as much as I love the movies, there’s so much detail that is missed from them. I didn’t realise just how much my memories of the HP universe had been shaped by the movies until I read the books. I feel like I’ve reconnected with the universe and characters in an authentic way and lots of my opinions have changed as a result. 

Before we get to the ranking, some disclaimers:

If it wasn’t already obvious SPOILERS BELOW FOR THE HARRY POTTER SERIES (at this point I’d be surprised if there’s anybody that needs this warning, but better safe than sorry!).

This ranking is completely subjective and very changable. I love all of the books and I’ve based the ranking solely on my enjoyment of reading them. 

In writing this post I am in no way supporting or endorsing J.K. Rowling’s works. Her ignorance and hatred is intolerable and abhorrent. I discuss this more in the conclusion of this post.

None of the images or gifs featured were made by me, all credit goes to the creators.

7. The Goblet of Fire

One of my favourite movies, but my least favourite book. This one hasn’t aged well for me. It’s too long, there’s much too filler and it has the disadvantage of coming after The Prisoner of Azkaban. I like the idea of the Triwizard Tournament in theory, but the execution is dull. We spend chapters upon chapters upon chapters with Harry and Hermione researching and preparing for the tasks and the tasks themselves are very anti-climatic. It’s also difficult to ignore the fact that the second and third tasks take part underwater and in a maze, and the audience can’t even see what’s going on. Apparently there’s no spell that can allow the audience to see underwater or inside a maze, not even those Muggle inventions called cameras *face palm*

The sub-plot with S.P.E.W was equally dull and didn’t add much to the story. I also found it deeply uncomfortable and upsetting to read about the enslavement of elves and the way that slavery was portrayed in general. The one positive I took from it was seeing Dobby with his crazy jumpers and socks. Dobby is The Best.

(credit to xbirdyblue on DeviantArt for this wonderful fanart image of Dobby)

The reactions to Harry’s name coming out of the Goblet of Fire is what infuriated me most in this book because it doesn’t even make sense. Firstly, does anybody really believe Harry’s capable of overcoming such powerful magic to put his name in? Secondly, why the fudging hell would Harry want to put his name in the Goblet? He’s a 14 year old child who has endured endless trauma; he’s spent most of his life living in an abusive household and the 3 years he’d been at Hogwarts fighting against Voldemort. He doesn’t want fame or glory, he just wants to live a normal, peaceful life and hang out with his best friends. Ron’s reaction is particularly annoying because he of all people should know Harry wouldn’t put his name in the Goblet. I understand why Ron felt that way and I love him but... 

The one thing I did enjoy about this book is the evolution of Harry’s friendships with Ron and Hermione. Hermione is fiercely loyal to Harry and devoted every waking second to helping him succeed in the tasks. Despite Ron’s silly tantrum and their divide through most of the book, their falling out really does cement Harry’s love for Ron. 

"He thought he could have coped with the rest of the school's behaviour if he could just have Ron back as his friend." 

Harry liked Hermione very much, but she just wasn't the same as Ron. There was much less laughter and a lot more hanging round in the library." 

"The thing Harry Potter will miss the most, sir!"

"Harry didn't care, he wouldn't have cared if Karkaroff had given him zero; Ron's indignation on his behalf was worth a hundred points to him." 

What can I say? Ron is Harry’s platonic soul mate. That is all.

Barty Crouch’s escape from Azkaban and transformation into Moody is more cunning and intelligent than it was in the movies - this dude switched places with his mother and left her in Azkaban in his place!! 

Fred and George were by far the highlight of this book for me. Their characters are great in the movies, but in the books they’re just--

Their antics, wit and banter are top notch. I’d actually forgotten that Harry gave his prize winnings from the Tournament to Fred and George, and it seems like such a huge injustice!! This act of kindness and selflessness on Harry’s part is largely why Fred and George are able to set up Wizard Wheezes. It’s a testament to Harry’s love for Fred and George that he gave them his winnings. Harry may not have needed the money but he could’ve done literally anything with it, and chose to give it to the twins because he believed in their ideas and wanted to give them the opportunity they needed. 

GOF was always one of my favourite movies because of this moment: 

Voldemort’s return was one of the most chilling, terrifying and shocking moments for me as a kid. The scene in the graveyard still stands out as being one of my favourite scenes from the movies. In the books, it didn’t have the same impact, unfortunately. In fact, this is what was noticeable to me all the way through reading this book - I like the movie more. The movie cuts out the filler, takes the interesting aspects of the book and does them better.

Overall, despite being at the bottom of my list, I still like GOF. It’s a huge step up in world-building and is an entertaining book with a great premise;  I loved the Golden Trio’s friendship, the appearances from Dobby and Fred and George’s antics. Unfortunately, this book is let down by the sheer amount of filler, the underwhelming execution of the main plot and too much focus on sub-plots like S.P.E.W.

6. The Sorcerer’s Philosopher’s Stone 

It was really difficult to rank Phliosopher’s Stone, because it holds a special place in my heart because it’s where the series began. This book does a great job at introducing Hogwarts and it captures those nostalgic, magical Hogwarts vibes unlike any of the other books. This book is all about the wonder and the joy of Hogwarts, and Hogwarts lives in my heart, so stepping into this magical world with Harry for the first time again was a joy to read.  

I love the time spent in this book on experiencing the smaller wonders of the magical world with Harry - Platform 9 3/4, Hogwarts Express, Diagon Alley, Ollivanders, the Sorting Hat, Great Hall feasts, ghosts etc. It’s exciting and fun to read about, and truly a gem of a book for children.

Seeing Harry go from living in a cupboard and suffering abuse and neglect to an incredible world full of wonder and people who want to get to know him and show him kindness was a joy to read. I love the development of Harry, Ron and Hermione’s friendship and how, despite how short the book is, it’s developed properly. Their friendship with Hermione doesn’t happen overnight, but by the end there’s a genuine bond and trust between them. 

But of course, as the first book in the series, the plot is lacking and the writing isn’t at its strongest. Also, despite how short it is I did feel a little bored reading the second half. It’s a great entry to the series and does a wonderful job at establishing the world, main trio and other characters, but in the grander scheme of the series it’s quite bland a forgettable. 

5. The Deathly Hallows

Now this one came as a big surprise to me, because before my re-read I considered The Deathly Hallows to be my favourite book, but I just didn’t enjoy it this time around. The first 50-60% of this book got me like: 

I was bored as hell. The travelling, the hunting for Horcruxes, Dumbledore���s backstory, the bickering between Harry, Ron and Hermione...it was tiresome. Fortunately, amongst that there were a lot of isolated things that I enjoyed. 

Firstly, I adore the Tale of the Three Brothers, it’s interesting and I love the depiction of it in the movies - it’s just so cool!

Secondly, Ron and Hermione are very cute in this book, and for the first time I  appreciated them as a romantic ship. 

Thirdly, Harry looking through Sirius’ room and finding a letter from Lily broke my heart. This moment is so touching and completely unexpected, since I’d forgotten about it over the years. 

(credit to alessiatrunifo for this stunning fanart)

Fourthly, LUNA LOVEGOOD. You know what? I have no qualms in saying Luna is one of my new favourite characters since my re-read. I always liked her, but she never stood out to me, and that’s changed. It’s not just that she’s unique and wacky, but that she’s fiercely independent, moral, kind and loyal. Luna has such a strong sense of who she is and she doesn’t let anyone or anything contradict that. 

Can I also admit that I might slightly ship Harry and Luna now? 🙊 Luna seeing through Harry’s disguise as “Barney Weasley” based on his facial expressions alone and their reactions to the possibility of the other being in danger touched my heart. 

"'She will [survive],' said Harry. He could not bear to contemplate the alternative. 'She's tough Luna, much tougher than you'd think. She's probably teaching all the inmates about Wrackspurts and Nargles.'" 

"Oh, no, I didn't want you to be caught!" 

They’re cute, okay?

Finally, Kreacher! This was perhaps one of the biggest surprises from reading this book, because I’d completely forgotten about Kreacher’s story. And boy, oh, boy did this pull on my heartstrings. Kreacher has one of the most tragic backstories in the HP universe and he absolutely deserves the redemption he got in this book. I loved seeing him develop a genine relationship with Harry, Ron and Hermione, and the fact that they never went back for him made me so sad. Poor Kreacher!

I enjoyed all of these elements of the first half of the book, and then I got to The Sacking of Severus Snape and it was like:

This is where the book finally took off for me (unfortunately, it took 30 chapters to get there) and as soon as Harry, Ron and Hermione are back in Hogwarts I couldn’t put it down. There are so many brilliant moments and things I loved that all I can really do is bullet point them:

The character reunions.

Percy finally redeeming himself!!!!

McGonnagal being the most badass to ever badass.

Neville Longbottom owns my heart ❤❤❤

Neville's grandmother's response to finding out Neville was fighting in the battle - "Naturally [he is]. Excuse me, I must go and assist him." 

Ron and Hermione's first kiss!! and Harry’s reaction to it - "Is this the moment? OI! There's a war going on here!"

Percy handing in his resignation whilst Stupefy-ing his boss - "Hello, Minister! Did I mention I'm resigning?"

The Forest Again was such an emotional chapter. It got me good.

"You'll stay with me?" "Until the very end." 😭

"Harry, you wonderful boy. You brave, brave man."

"Perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it. Those, who, like you, have leadership thrust upon them, and take up the mantle because they must, and find to their own surprise that they wear it well."

Did I mention that Neville is bloomin' amazing?

Kreacher!!!!!! "Fight! Fight! Fight for my master, defender of the house-elves! Fight the Dark Lord in the name of brave Regalus! Fight!"

Reading The Flaw in the Plan was soooo much more satisfying than watching it play out on-screen in the movie. 

In many ways DH has some of the best, most satisfying moments of any of the books. It’s a strong conclusion to the series and there’s so much that I loved about it; so many memorable and emotional moments (Dobby and Fred’s deaths still hit hard 20 years later). Unfortunately, it was dragged down by the first half of the book and the epilogue. I tried so hard to keep an open mind about the epilogue, but the truth is it still BLOWS. And the more time that passes the more I resent the decisions that were made about character deaths. I understand that the stakes were high and we needed to lose characters close to our hearts but Fred?? Dobby??? Remus??? NO! Just no, okay? I don’t accept that. 

4. The Order of the Phoenix

Now, The Order of the Phoenix had similar issues as DH for me - it had a very slow start but a great ending. I did take a couple of months break in the middle of reading this one and distinctly remember slogging my way through the first half and devouring the second half. 

I’ve made no secret over the years that Sirius and Remus are two of favourite HP characters, so I expected to enjoy OOTP a lot for that reason. I did really enjoy all the smatterings of Sirius and Remus we go throughout this book. Unfortunately, there wasn’t enough for me. This book really highlighted for me how limited Harry’s POV was, because I wanted more of an insight into the Order but Harry was kept in the dark the entire time which was frustrating. 

One of the main character highlights of this book is the legend Minverva McGonnagal. Her sass, strength and determination to defend Hogwarts and its students against Dolores is astounding. Here are some of my favourite McGonnagal moments:

"Well, usually when a person shakes their head they mean 'no.'"

"Can I offer you a cough drop, Dolores?"

"I should have made my meaning plainer. [Harry] has achieved high marks in all Defence Against the Dark Arts tests set by a compotent teacher."

Defending Hagrid against Umbridge.

And of course:

(Still can’t believe the movie robbed us of this!)

Time for a less popular opinion - I loved Harry in this book. In general, this book made me feel very protective of Harry, because Harry is bloomin’ incredible and deserves so much better than what he gets in this book. He’s always had a bad rep in OOTP for being an annoying, angsty teenager, but in my opinion, this is Harry at his most relatable and lovable. After everything Harry went through, he’s entitled to be angry with the world. He endured everything that he did and took the responsibility of the world onto his shoulders with little complaint, and in OOTP he reaches breaking point. Honestly, I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner. The adults in Harry’s life are glaringly irresponsible in this book. Not only do they force him back to the Dursley’s after the hugely traumatic events of GOF based on some bull about “blood magic”, but they purposefully hide the truth from him even though that puts him at greater risk and adds to his emotional distress. Everyone around Harry expects him to be mature and act like an adult when he’s fighting against the darkest wizard of all time, yet don’t give him the courtesy or respect of telling him the truth about significant things that impact him and the people he loves. Sirius os the only person that refuses to belittle Harry, but in some ways, his behaviour is just as damaging as those that tried to shelter Harry from the truth, because he expects too much of Harry and projects James’ personality onto him. The adults around Harry fail him to such an extent in this book that he establishes the DA because he can’t even rely on the adults around him to keep him and his friends safe. Harry’s emotions in this book aren’t only understandable, but justified and I felt an even deeper connection to him as a result. His vulnerability shows his strength and courage more than ever before. This is the point where he goes from the Chosen One to a true champion, because even when he reaches rock bottom and wants to give up, he doesn’t walk away. I love Harry so much.

The Department of Mysteries is by far one of my favourite sections from any of the books. I love the friendship dynamics, Luna, Neville and Ginny are given the chance to really shine, the stakes are high, the action is great and despite the trauma of Sirius’ death, that moment is so hard-hitting and memorable. This section of the book just took it to a new level for me. It was really great.

The emotion of Sirius’ death was captured so perfectly, and is such a huge turning point for Harry. Like I said above, choosing to go on even after losing Sirius proves that Harry is a true hero; that he isn’t just doing what he was doing out of obligation or has been told to but because he believes in doing the right thing. I best move on before I continue to speak about how amazing Harry James Potter is.

Now we come to Neville. Can you believe that I’d actually forgot the details of Neville being the Chosen One? It was a blast learning about that again and how he’s connected to the prophecy. I also loved that we got to see his family and not just be told about it via dialogue. Neville is by far one of the most loveable and interesting minor characters in the series. He has so many great moments in books 1-4, but he really shines in OOTP.

The more I write about this book, the more I find things to love. It’s just a shame that the first half lets it down, because overall, I think there’s a lot of great material here in terms of plot and character development.

3. The Chamber of Secrets

I know that The Chamber of Secrets is generally ranked low amongst most fans, but I love it. At this point, the books were more simplistic and just fun, and I like that. I also have to acknowledge that I have a deep affinity for the COS movie - I grew up watching it over and over, and of all the movies it’s still the one I know best and always come back to (still can’t believe the “Why couldn’t it be follow the butterflies line?” wasn’t even in the books!)

I love all of the different elements in this book:

Dobby

The Burrow

The flying car

Whomping Willow

Moaning Myrtle 

This idiot

Gilderoy Lockhart is one of my favourite antagonists in the entire series, because he isn’t intentionally bad, he’s just an arrogant fool. His primary concern is his image and reputation and he was willing to go to any lengths to maintain it. He’s a bad person in a subtle and hilarious way. 

Generally speaking, there are too many fun and entertaining moments to count in this book. I love the childish-ness of this book in comparison to the darker tone the series adopts from POA onwards. For me, COS still has the silliness and merriment that I really associate HP with. Entertainment value aside, the plot in COS is actually well executed.

As a short, concise and effective plot, Tom Riddle’s diary and the Chamber of Secrets works incredibly well. I liked the mystery and suspense of the culprit of the Muggle born attacks, and the big moments connected to it - finding out that Hagrid might be the perpetrator, Ginny being possessed by Voldemort, Hermione being petrified, Harry speaking Parceltongue. The stakes are high and this plot is strong enough to keep momentum going between the more light hearted moments.

Overall, COS is a quick, easy and fun read. It may not be the best written or complex book in the series, but I’m a huge advocate for it. Not only is it highly entertaining, but it also introduced a lot of great and important aspects to the series (Horcruxes, Tom Riddle being the heir of Slytherin, Harry being connected to Voldemort, polyjuice potion and Dobby), and built very well on what was established in PS. 

2. The Half Blood Prince

The biggest surprise of this re-read was how much I bloomin’ loved Half Blood Prince. It has the perfect balance of plot, character development, mystery, humour and emotion. Out of the bigger books in the series, this was the one I finished the fastest (2 days), because it was quite literally un-put-downable (yes, that’s a word). 

First, let’s talk about the plot, because wow, it’s a good ‘un. In my opinion, it’s the strongest and best written plot from any of the books. There’s Voldemort’s backstory, the development of Harry and Dumbledore’s relationship, Snape’s backstory, the mystery of the Half Blood Prince, Harry’s rivalry/suspicion of Malfoy, hunting Horcruxes and Dumbledore’s death. This book feels like an incredible pay-off for things that have been built up in the previous 5 books. We learn so much about certain characters - Dumbledore, Snape, Malfoy, Voldemort, Ginny - and regardless of whether I liked those characters or not, I was invested. The clues that Snape is the Half Blood Prince are cleverly interwoven within the narrative and the mystery keeps you guessing, even when you know who it is. 

The last part of this book from Chapter 26 onwards was just explosive. Although I knew what was coming, I was surprised at the level of emotion I felt when Dumbledore and Harry were in the cave and when Dumbledore died. My heart was racing and I had tears in my eyes. 

This book just doesn’t let up for a second. If we aren’t learning more about Voldemort, we’re following Draco to see what he’s up to or unravelling mysteries around the Half Blood Prince or trying to get information from Slughorn about horcruxes. Even the down time is enjoyable to read in this book (Chapter 9 was one of my favourite chapters to read) and the friendships and banter are stellar. 

In terms of character development, this is also one of the strongest books. Dumbledore is finally developed beyond the omnipotent Gandalf-esque archetype and we learn bout his past and his flaws.

"I have already proven to you, I make mistakes like the next man. In fact, being - forgive me - rather cleverer than most men, my mistakes tend to be correspondingly huger." 

The focus on Dumbledore also sets it up for his death, and you know what? It works. If we’d lost Dumbledore prior to HBP, I would’ve been shocked and upset, but losing him at this point hurts that much more because we learn so much more about him, see how important he is to Harry and how vital his guidance is in defeating Voldemort. Dumbledore’s death feels like all hope is lost, and so soon after losing Sirius it feels even harsher.

Insight into Snape’s back-story finally explains some of his motivations and actions (though it does not condone them).

Although Voldemort’s backstory doesn’t necessarily add to our understanding of him, it’s interesting to see how he came into the world, and learn about his family background. What this demonstrated most to me is that a lot of the time there is no reason for evil. Voldemort didn’t really have any motivations for what he did. Sure, he didn’t have the perfect, happy childhood but there isn’t really enough substance there to try to explain how or why he became the monster that he did. 

More could’ve been done with Malfoy, but I enjoyed him having a bigger presence in this book and how the idea that family shapes who we are isn’t always true. Draco does what is expected of him from his family, but ultimately, he has his own conscience and inner turmoil that forces him to question things.

As for Harry...he goes to a dark place in this book. OOTP has always been cpnsidered as the “angsty Harry”, but HBP takes Harry to new places. Harry feels more ruthless, reckless and determined in this book than any other. There’s an underlying sense of apathy that lingers from Sirius’ death. He obsesses about his mission to extract the memory from Slughorn and his lessons with Dumbledore, and fixates on his hatred for Draco and Snape. The fact that Harry uses Sectumsempra on Draco is honestly the most alarming thing that Harry does because it shows how dark a place Harry has gone to. He knows the spell is going to inflict serious harm and yet he uses it anyway. 

Generally, Harry abuses the potions book and manipulates, lies and takes advantage of almost everyone around him. I really see his dependency on that book and his choice to exploit it for his own benefit as adverse effects of the grief and trauma he endured. For once, he has the upper hand and I’d even argue that despite the Half Blood Prince being anonymous stranger to him, he relies on him as a mentor or parental figure. Yet despite it being a dark book for Harry, he also seems to get some genuine peace with Ginny. Although I’m not a Hinny shipper, it was so nice to see Harry experience some normality and contentment. No matter what he goes through, he remains kind hearted. I actually feel like this book more than any other emphasises that point - Harry could just as easily have gone down the same path as Vodlemort, but he made a choice not to.

“In spite of all the temptation you have endured, all the suffering, you remain pure of heart, just as pure as you were at the age of eleven, when you stared into a mirror that reflected your hears desire and it showed you the only way to thwart Lord Voldement, and not immortality or riches. Harry, have you any idea how few wizards could have seen what you saw in the mirror?" 

Plot and character development aside, the comedy in this book is gold and I appreciate the movie (and Daniel Radcliffe) for maximising on that to create some of the best and funniest scenes in the movie franchise. Chapter 18 in particular was hilarious.

Now I have to speak about one of my favourite moments from this book:

Since GoF, Fleur was grossly mistreated and discriminated against by the Weasley’s (Molly and Ginny in particular). The way they treated her was sexist and xenophobic pure and simple. They had no reason to dislike her and all of their reasons seemed to be built on some flimsy notion that she was full of herself (why, just because she was beautiful? and even if she was, what’s wrong with confidence?!) and that she was annoying and loud because she was French. Seeing Fleur finally stand up to their bigotry was fantastic. It’s a moment I’d been waiting for for so long and I’m so glad we got it, because frankly, Molly and Ginny’s beahviour towards Fleur needed to be addressed because it was disgusting.

Overall, HBP demonstrates the strengths of HP as a series. In comparison to the other books, I don’t really have anything to crituqe I enjoyed all of it from beginning to end, which is why it almost took the top spot in this ranking.

1. The Prisoner of Azkaban

It was really close between first and second place, but Prisoner of Azkaban just managed it. This is where the HP series truly takes off and starts to shine. In comparison to what we got in PS and COS it’s richer - the plot is complex, the world building is more developed, the characters are great and it’s generally an entertaining read but with added complexity in comparison to its predecessors.

I like that POA allows us to spend so much time in Hogwarts hanging out, but that the plot comes to the forefront more. We’re all so familiar with HP at this point that it’s easy to forget the impact the plot-twists must’ve punched the first time we read them. But for me, it’d been so long since I’d read the series, that it really was like reading them for the first time and POA was one of the ones that surprised me at various points.

I’d forgot details like:

The Shrieking Shack got its name and reputation because Lupin locked himself up there during transformations; The Whomping Willow was planted to hide the secret passage to the Shrieking Shack and prevent Lupin from escaping and hurting people in his werewolf form

Crookshanks was Sirius’ ally

Sirius escaped Azkaban in his dog form

Unsurprisingly, Remus and Sirius were the highlight of this book for me. I know it’s basic but I really love them and the two of them having such a focus in this book really makes it.

Remus truly shines in this book. He’s a lovable character – a great teacher, a supportive mentor and a loyal friend. His tragic backstory only adds to his character. Snape tries to villainise Remus for being a werewolf, but the reality is that he’s a victim. He was an innocent child that was bitten by a vicious, cruel monster and has to live with the consequences of that for the rest of his life. He carries so much self-loathing, fear and insecurity because of what he is and he doesn’t deserve it. Dumbledore is the only one that separates the man from the wolf and takes Remus on his merits. He knows that Remus is a genuinely good person and a talented teacher, and he’s willing to make the necessary adjustments to enable Remus equal opportunity. Not only does it benefit Remus for Dumbledore to do this, but the students too, because let’s face it, Remus is a bloody damn good teacher.

Remus is arguably the most decent and responsible adult character in the entire HP universe. He respects Harry’s agency but also acknowledges that he’s still a child that needs protection and guidance. Instead of lying to Harry or throwing him into dangerous situations, he does perhaps the most helpful thing any adult ever does for Harry – he teaches him how to defend himself. I love that Lupin and Harry’s relationship in this book foreshadows the formation of the DA in OOTP; Lupin is the only one that teaches Harry practical DATDA skills and in the absence of Lupin as a teacher, Harry then takes on that role as a mentor and provides his friends with the skills to defend themselves. 

Now we come to Sirius. Introducing Sirius as the enemy – a dangerously, mad criminal who is conspiring with Voldemort and wants Harry dead – and then revealing him to be the complete opposite was genius. Part of me wished I could completely forget so that I could experience the utter shock of finding that out for the first time. The fact that Harry saw his parents in the Mirror of Erised in PS and then finds Sirius and Lupin in this book touches my heart. Sirius is a direct link to Harry’s parents unlike anything he’s ever had. Although on the surface, their bond develops too quickly, considering that Harry is 13 years old and all he wants more than anything is to have parents and/or a connection to his parents, his quick attachment to Sirius makes sense. The thought of living with Sirius makes Harry so happy that he used it to power his patronus!!! Likewise, Sirius clings to Harry knowing that he’s the son of his best friends. He spent the entirety of his time in Azkaban knowing Harry was still out there somewhere without James and Lily and in danger from Voldemort. Immediately, Sirius provides Harry with the type of comfort about his parents that he’s never received before.

“You think the dead we have loved ever truly leave us? You think that we don't recall them more clearly than ever in times of great trouble? Your father is alive in you, Harry, and shows himself most plainly when you have need of him. How else could you produce that particular Patronus? Prongs rode again last night.”

One of the highlights of this book is the scene where Snape catches Harry with the Marauders Map. That quote is just legendary.

"Mr Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business. Mr Prongs agrees with Mr Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git. Mr Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a Professor. Mr Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball."

Admittedly, the time travel in this book is problematic as hell. I’m grateful that Harry and Hermione were able to save Buckbeak and Sirius due to time travel, but if it was up to me, I’d remove time travel from the universe completely. It doesn’t fit, it’s too complicated and creates too many issues. McGonnagal condones the use of time travel for Hermione to attend extra lessons and yet won’t use it to tackle real, important problems, like I don’t know, war, death, disease, disasters etc. Not to mention the entire Voldemort problem and Harry becoming the Chosen One could’ve been resolved by going back to the night of James and Lily’s deaths.

One of my favourite elements of this book was seeing Ron and Hermione’s friendship with Hagrid. A lot of emphasis is placed on Harry’s friendship with Hagrid. but this book shows how devoted Ron and Hermione are to Hagrid. They both spend a lot of their time comforting him and helping him to prepare for Buckbeak’s trial.

This book has a great balance – it’s still on the shorter side but it doesn’t suffer for it. and here’s plenty of plot and character development. Ironically, whilst HBP is my favourite because of the emphasis on the main plot, POA is my favourite because it takes a break from Voldemort. It’s refreshing to take a step away from Voldemort and put the focus onto a new villain in Sirius, and then for the twist to be revealed that he’s not actually a villain but Harry’s godfather. The time-turner is the biggest draw-back in this book, but I can overlook that because there’s so much more to love in this book. It’s definitely the most re-readable book in terms of the length and plot. This book is a happy medium which incorporates the strengths from all of the other books in a smaller package than HBP - it’s fun but expands on the universe, introduces brilliant new characters and has a depth and complexity that the first two lack whilst not having the filler that books 4-7 have.  

Conclusion

It’s hard to read these books without it being mingled with childhood nostalgia, so that undoubtedly informed my ranking. Despite being a children's series, the books still hold up reading them as an adult. I enjoyed rediscovering the smaller details I’d forgotten over the years and feel much closer to the universe as a result. The characters and their dynamics are by far my favourite thing about HP. I also enjoy the whimsical magic and how this is offset against the darker tone later in the series. However, in light of JKR’s hateful rhetoric, my attention was drawn to the problematic elements of the books such as the portrayal of slavery in addition to: 

Lack of major/well-written characters of color

Anti-semitic caricature of goblin bankers

Cho Chang’s name (which many consider offensive), stereotypical placement in Ravenclaw (the smart house) while being the only East-Asian character in the books, and she functions almost exclusively as a love interest

Ableism all-around

Nagini, an evil snake who gets chopped in half, is actually an Asian woman according to Fantastic Beasts, making her the second of two named East Asian characters in the franchise

“Magic in North America,” a history of magic in North America published on Pottermore that grossly misappropriates and misconstrues Native American cultures

Anthony Goldstein, retconned token Jewish character, also stereotypically named

General stereotypical naming of non-Anglo-Saxon characters

Remus Lupin’s werewolf status as an AIDS metaphor while depicting his condition as making him monstrous, and the man who bit him goes around biting people for kicks

Declaring that Dumbledore is gay with exactly 0 in-canon references, and no other LGBTQ+ representation  (article credit: Separating Art from Artist - Thoughts on J.K. Rowling written by Melina List on Medium)

This is the last time I will read these books, partly because I’ve outgrown them, but mostly because I can’t, without a heavy conscience ignore the relationship between JKR’s hateful views and her works. If you want to learn more about this, I’d recommend checking out a post from my_weird_bookish_heart on Instagram which explains why we couldn’t and shouldn’t ignore the problems in these books by adopting a “art is separate from the artist” mentality (if you would like the link to this please message me and I’l be happy to share it. We can all still love and enjoy HP, but we all have a moral duty to acknowledge and take responsibility for this and not feign ignorance. Views like JKR’s directly harm individuals and groups, not just in the trans community but also the Jewish and LGBTQIA+ communities and people of colour. I can’t and won’t accept that in silence. No matter how special HP was to me as a child, the lives of real humans are unquestionably more important.

Thank you for reading.

[upfrog]

So I finished reading Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality

This isn’t so much a review, as an attempt to cement some of my thoughts, and to at least write something down, the better that I will not look back in a year and not be able to remember a thing of what I thought of HPMOR. But overall... that was quite a thing.

HPMOR is long. Longer (by word count, which isn’t a perfect method of judging this) than War and Peace, the normal benchmark for “really long books”. I don’t consider getting through it to be an accomplishment, in the sense of say, getting through Homestuck, though maybe that’s only because I have tried, and failed to do the latter several times. It may also be because the plot is, for all it’s time travel and scientific tangents, less complex than Homestuck. I do not expect it to stick in my mind the way the canonical books do. While I do not consider them to be high literature, the canonical Harry Potter books, in addition to being entirely an entirely decent story, had a certain... Depth, of sorts, to them. Some of this may come from the midi-chlorian effect; the workings of magic are never discussed greatly in the canonical books, but much of HPMOR Harry’s efforts are devoted to understanding magic from a scientific perspective. I think it is more likely that it is because HPMOR simply had a more limited scope.

HPMOR set out to be a puzzle, an encouragement of rational thought patterns, a demonstration of how they might be applied to great benefit. And it does this. While potential plot holes and inconsistencies exist, it does this fairly well on the whole. But there isn’t that much beneath it, at least not that I have seen. It’s a good enough story, and the way it chooses to fill in the unfinished coloring book of Rowling’s world creates a compellingly interesting universe, albeit not a pleasant one. It has some good humor at some parts (more on that later), many clever moments, and some moments that are, frankly, just plain awesome, though these often contribute to the monstrously overpowered being that Harry is. Both versions shared the core theme of (spoiler warning: the rest of this paragraph. If you’re interested, I’d really advise you to just read it so that you don’t have the dramatic tension reduced) Harry ultimately triumphing by virtue of who he is. Triumphing by being, as we would describe it, a better human being than his opponent. The difference is that in the canonical books, this is a much more theological process. By the final book, Rowling is pretty much bashing us over the head with a crucifix. I still maintain that, unless the hill you wish to die on is unmarried teen snogging, declaring Harry Potter as heresy for the simple fact that it includes magic is to foolishly ignore the veritable flood of Christian messaging the books contain. I thought I’d made a post about that, but apparently not, so I’ll divert myself to that briefly. 

Spoilers for the whole canonical Harry Potter main series in the following paragraph:

The entire story is based on an innocent child who was permitted to live because of the intensely real power and protection offered by the selfless sacrifice of another to protect said child. So there, straight off the bat, right in the premise. And then in the 7th book, Harry does the exact same thing, but more so, and pretty much pulls an Aslan, “dying” willingly to protect others, but not by this being truly killed. And it’s not like the Christian messaging in Narnia is obscure. And at the end of the first Harry Potter book, Dumbledore, the most “good guy” character that the series has to offer goes off explaining how “to the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure”. Then, in no particular order, having not done anything like a read through specifically looking out for these: the primacy of the soul over the physical, the specifically soul-corrupting nature of evil and killing, the power of redemption and forgiveness, the ultimate triumph of good over evil, the concept of powers that, while attainable, will damage your soul forever, and the existence of life after death. Anyway, back to the main matter.

HPMOR lacks any semblance of this depth (not that this is the deepest thing in the world mind), at least that I have been able to detect, and this makes it a lesser story to me.

The first ten or so chapters of HPMOR were pretty great as comedy. Harry constantly befuddling the wizarding world, and being befuddled by it, makes for some great laughs. Later on it undergoes a pretty significant tone change, and I had a very hard time adjusting to it, and enjoying the latter portion (which makes up most of the fic) for what it is. I did ultimately reach that point, but it was jarring.

This fic has some pretty obscure references. Have any of y’all read “Negima!?”? The author of this fic has. ( or at least, he’s watched some of the show.) It also had an offhanded reference to Madoka Magica, which is less obscure, but I still appreciate it. 

HPMOR Harry just keeps on getting more and more powers. (potential spoilers ahead, less severe): It seems like every month he’s making some discovery of how to do something that the entire wizarding world “knows” is totally impossible. It makes a certain sense, in context, but it certainly does contribute to some Mary Sue-like feeling. But on the other hand, Harry routinely oversteps his cleverness, failing to think things through enough, missing obvious points that would have counter-indicated his action. And some of the consequences are rather severe, so I don’t knock too many points off for it. Harry is powerful, but he is also rather a child genius in this telling, and all things considered, most of his discoveries don’t seem too ridiculous. 

I earlier mentioned that the world HPMOR painted was rather interesting. It (mostly) doesn’t directly contradict the wizarding world as portrayed in the common, but it does color in many of the blanks, and this author paints in dark colors. Wizarding britain, as portrayed in HPMOR, would be considered barbaric to most of the people reading this. Or perhaps it would merely be considered “medieval”. It certainly has some things going for it. It is portrayed as a place with relatively little history of institutional sexism, or racism amongst wizards. Even the stodgiest pure bloods find it silly to discriminate based on skin color. Wizarding Britain sees little wrong with homosexuality, and it is entirely un-taboo. But things get worse from there.

It is implied, or at least, I took away the message from my last reading some years ago, that the Wizarding power structure in the canonical books is... incompetent. That the benchmark of being a “fully qualified” witch or wizard does not in fact entail very much true competency, and many of the more powerful figures are somewhat dumb. HPMOR confirms this, and brings it into the light, offering more examples of just how useless most wizards are in matters non-magical. Wizarding Britain is controlled by an incompetent government, which is primarily controlled by one or several “Noble and Most Ancient House(s)”. The extent of Lucius Malfoy’s influence is brought up often in the canonical books, and the same is true here. This is a world where (minor spoiler for something before chapter 10-ish) a young noble raping a girl, and yes, girl is the proper noun here, repeatedly, and getting away with it indefinitely, is an open secret. Where this young noble’s security is secured by: a) the victim and her families’ fear of his familial power, b) memory charms, and c) a court system where the interests of the Noble Houses are often a primary concern. 

Wizarding news is minimal, and it seems to primarily toe the ministry (which is to say, aristocratic) line, save for the Quibbler, which... on the whole, isn’t great news either. There is no particular concept of a fair trial at play in this world, especially if your crime was committed against a noble house. Less than three days investigation is considered enough to go from crime to a sentence of ten years in Azkaban. And then there’s Azkaban itself. For all it is a prominent feature in the books, and Dumbledore’s opposition to it is often mentioned, Azkaban doesn’t get much light shone on it in the canonical books. This is likely in part because it is such an incredibly, ridiculously cruel place that it becomes very difficult for many of us muggles to imagine it being an appropriate punishment for anyone. I won’t go into great detail, but there are very few crimes capable of causing enough pain that, even working from a perspective of vengeance, instead of justice or rehabilitation, it becomes very difficult to mathematically justify Azkaban. 

To clarify, by mathematically justify, I mean, what percent of the pain a criminal inflicts by his misdeed can fairly be unleashed upon the criminal as punishment. Is a beating a proper punishment for beating someone? What about two beatings? Or three? At what point does the severity of the punishment become so much greater than that of the crime that it stops being sensible? If you slapped me, would I, absent any concerns about self defense or ensuring my future safety, be justified in immediately shooting you? Or boiling you? Or beating you to death? The murders who are so successful that we stop calling them murders and start calling them statesmen might have a shot at a mathematically (if not necessarily ethically) justifiable cell in Azkaban. For everyone else, it’s pretty difficult. And in both versions of the story, wizarding justice is NOT perfect. Innocent people go to Azkaban, and are exposed to this as well. Azkaban is pretty terrible, and most of the wizarding world just sort of... accepts it.

Anyway, I probably have more to say, but I really need to wrap this up. This probably wasn’t very coherent, so sorry about that. 

[stuckwith-harry]

I would love for you to write those long posts on Harry and Ginny's feelings about getting married later/after having James. This has also been my headcanon forever but I rarely see it excepting your posts so would love to hear ALL of your thoughts!!

I’ll start with Ginny, anon, because that’s a long, long post you’ve got ahead of yourself. Bit of a tangent, too, but I’ll get there, I promise. I’ll put it under a read more ‘cause it’s such a long fucker.

(CW for discussion of trauma and only mentions of torture, bullying and self-harm.)

Most of what we learn about Ginny – Ginny as she exists towards theend of the series – we learn after everythingthat happens to her in the Chamber of Secrets. Something I wouldargue doesn’t just apply to us as an audience, but to Ginnyherself, as well.

If you asked me whoGinny is, my mind would go to things like: She’squick to defend herself and her friends, and when she does, she doesit aggressively – not above making it physical, either (standsup for Luna when she’s being bullied, stands up for herself whenRon slut-shames her, straightup crashes into ZachariasSmith after a Quidditch match when he was being rude). It’simportant to her that everyone around herknows she can take care of herself anddoesn’t need babysitting or sugarcoating. Shewants to be treated as an equal. She’s quick to anger, tends totake things too far (be it jokes, or confrontations, etc), butfunny, warm and compassionate, too.

Apartfrom the fact that I think the general “badassery” is partially afacade (we can spot it crack a little during that last conversationshe has with Harry prior to the Horcrux hunt – when she giveshim his birthday kiss, you’llrecall), I also think it’svery much born out of the trauma she endured in COS. Not becauseshe’s still defined by it, but because she’s very,very, very much shaped by it.

When you endure something terrible like that – at any age, really,but especially when you’re as young as Ginny was –a huge part of recovering is carving out an identity for yourselfthat isn’t entirely defined by your trauma. Existing outside ofyour trauma, if you will. At the same time, you can’t escape it, itstays with you – forever – and it has a tremendous and lastingimpact on how you interact with the world.

(You may be able to read between the lines that I can reallyrelate to Ginny here. Her thing was being possessed by an evilwizard via a Horcrux disguised as a harmless enchanted diary. Minewas bullying and self-harm. It doesn’t leave you. Even when theperson who did it to you is far away.)

And Ginny, towards the end of the series, gives me this sense ofresolutely refusing to be victimised. She wants to fight, bein the middle of the action, even when she’s deemed too young:refuses to show weakness, or to become as emotionally dependent onanyone as she was on the diary, to the very best of her ability.(Because, you know, pouring all of herself into one person reallybackfired before.)

Especially given that Ginny is a teenager who, from the looks of it,never had access to therapy or anything else that would help her dealwith her trauma – in fact, it looks like she deals with itpredominantly by herself – I think she does a very good jobof that, for the most part (emphasis on for the most part – thereare places where we can see unresolved trauma festering inher): By the end of the series, we’ve come to know her for a lot ofthings that have nothing to do with the diary, it doesn’t definewho Ginny Weasley is to us, but at the same time, she doesn’t doanyone else or herself the misguided favour of ignoring it ordenying it ever happened. (In fact, she actually manages to use herexperiences constructively; see the “I forgot” – “Lucky you”exchange in OOTP. A scene I also want to write a long ass metapost about soon, buuuuut that’s not this post.)

With that out of the way, thinking about Ginny’s feelings onmarriage (huzzah, we’re getting there!) brought backmemories to this conversation she had with Molly in early HBP:

“Mumhates [Fleur],” said Ginny quietly.

“Ido not hate her!” said Mrs. Weasley in a cross whisper. “I justthink they’ve hurried into this engagement, that’s all! […] Iknow why it’s happened, of course. It’s allthis uncertainty with You-Know-Who coming back, people think theymight be dead tomorrow, so they’re rushing all sorts of decisionsthey’d normally take time over. It was the same last time he waspowerful, people eloping left, right, and center —”

“Includingyou and Dad,” said Ginny slyly. 

“Yes, well, your father andI were made for each other, what was the point in waiting?” saidMrs. Weasley.

Besides the “sly” remark, we don’t reallyfind out how Ginny feels about her parents’ marriage, butI can’t help but suspect thatthe absolute certainty with which Molly presents this only makesGinny question it more. (Ginnyis pretty … defiant … at this age. She’sconstantly challengingthe people around her on their actions and values, especially when itcomes to what they thinkis right for Ginny. Ron’s reactions to her dating life come to mindagain, as does her family’s tendency to try and keep her out of theaction because she’s the little one, Harry’s tendency to want toprotect her. There’s a distinct sense of“How do you know what’s good for me?!”, which, now that I thinkabout it, also looks like a product of her trauma given that sheendured this incredibly traumatisingthing, at age eleven, thatno one around her noticed for a yearstraight and then pretty muchimmediately forgotabout. JKRowling did,too. Again, differentpost.)

I also – personally – never really got thesense that Ginny wants tobe like Molly, whatever she deems that tobe. This part is entirelyguesswork/headcanons/me filling in the gapsthe way I see fit, but I’m willing to beta Galleon or two that the aforementioned conversation could leadGinny to wonder how her parents and her family would be different ifthey hadn’t tied the knot quite soquickly. (Writing a fic for the Hinny 100about that, so keep your eyes peeled!)

So between that and the fact that Ginny is atleast in touch enough with her emotions to recognise her own trauma,I’m just going to state the obvious: Sheis 100% not in a place to get married shortly after the war. AndI think she knows that.

Because Ginny, again,has an entire year of trauma behind her. She’s been tortured by theCarrows – repeatedly, from what we know; she’s worried forthe lives of her friends and family and ex-boyfriend for months; Luna disappearsaround Christmas, and Ginny doesn’t know where she is or if she’salive. She’s spent months terrified and powerless.She’s fought in the Battle ofHogwarts, likely missing death by an inch herself more than once;she’s lost a brother. So apart from the diary stuff – that isstill there – there’s now all this newtrauma that she gets to deal with.

Which, again, means figuring out who she’s goingto be now, and what her life is going to be like now. How to live with it, and how to exist with and around and outside of it. That takes alot of work, and a lot of time, and, frankly, a good therapist - though itsadly doesn’t seem like the Wizarding world hasthose. (Different post, though!)

It’s not really a matter of not being willing orcapable to be committed to her relationship with Harry – rather,it’s about not being in a place, mentally, whereshe can make a decision about the rest of her life when she doesn’tknow what the rest of her life is going to look like, or who she’sgoing to be, or what she’s going to want.

Alright, I hope youcould sit through all of that, anon – it ended up being a bit of anovel, didn’t it. Let me know what you think, if you’ve got more thoughts, if you agree, etc.

[tinkdw]

Why do you think cas should become/choose to be human? Wouldn't it make more sense if he stayed an angel but accepted the fact that he is different from the other angels but that doesn't mean he doesn't belong any less? Idk I just feel like his angelic side is such a huge part of him that he won't necessarily give it us but just accept that he's a little different and that's ok? (Sry if this comes off as rude I rly love ur blog and just wanted to see ur take on this)

It’s not rude at all :) This is a touchy subject right now though so I’ve put this under a cut because I understand this is a personal issue for some whereas I am coming at it as a meta POV. I’m not personally invested per se as I don’t identify with the character, I just enjoy the story immensely as a whole and he is key to it, I love Cas’ character but I don’t project myself into him. I understand for some this is deeply personal so please take what I say here as a narrative reasoning and not a personal attack on anyone.

Basically for me it boils down to the underlying theme in these stories of self discovery and acceptance that it’s about who you are not what you are:

Which is a hugely important part of a story based around Free Will and choices.

I personally do not see any part of canon that tells us that Cas’ grace / Angelic side has anything to do with his personality or who he is, it only is relevant to what he is, or was, anyway, at the start of the story because he pretty swiftly tells us that he has doubts, that he loves humanity and falls, within just one season ending up human for the first time. Grace is not a true part of his personality, his desires, wants, needs. For me it’s not who he is and who he wants to be and therefore who he will be in the end after his journey.

For me it is narratively written as his endgame and mirrors thousands of stories like it where a person comes from one emotional/physical place and ends in another far better place that they discover and eventually choose thanks to the journey that is our story (this of course mirrors Sam and Dean’s story too). For me it’s what the story has told us so far, particularly since season 9, it’s the writing choices they’ve made that stand out to me. It’s the recognisable tropes and visual narrative too that reinforce this well established and recognisable storyline. 

For Dean it’s about accepting the repressed part of himself, what’s below the facade (eg. bisexuality, liking Disney movies and being a bit of a nerd etc), for Sam it’s about his repressed desire to have a partner, to lead others, to work with the supernatural rather than always against it (e.g. magic/powers) and let go of his guilt about Lucifer, for Cas it’s about discovering humanity and realising that he desires it, realising that he deserves to have what he desires and doesn’t have to be just a tool, a cog in the machine, that he matters too.

It makes sense to me that Cas would have something big like this just as Dean and Sam do as his endgame and I believe the narrative sends us down this path and reinforces it consistently over the seasons.

Breaking it down and looking at it from what we are told, the choices that the writers have made regarding his character and how he fits the overall story, making a list with columns of ‘for’ and ‘against’ is the easiest way to explain it:

- In the camp of “wants to be an Angel because we’ve had exposition that he enjoys it and it’s who he is” I have zero ticks.

- In the camp of “says he wants to be an Angel because of duty to being useful for the mission or because he’s depressed and lost and feeling so much pain and it’s what he has known for millennia, being an Angel dulls his emotions so it’s the easiest option, expositionally later telling Sam that doing this was to dull his pain” I have ticks. 

- In the camp of “wants to be Human because yes he felt pain and suffering for sure, but also expositionally told Hannah later - his own personal expositional character in s10 for his personal desires and character - that it was worth it because he also felt joy, love etc, after also telling Sam that he now misses being human through the PB&J, he misses taste but not indigestion etc. all these moments telling us that basically he misses the good stuff, not the bad stuff of course which he is well aware of, but the good outweighs the bad and he knows this because he’s experienced the bad too, it’s an educated decision” I have multiple ticks (expanded below).

- In the culminating camp of “now knows he wants to be Human but represses this due to duty and not feeling he really deserves to have what he wants while there is a job to do because that is how his personality has been established for a decade - the mission and being useful always comes first before his own desires and he has to learn that his desires are important and valid and that he matters for who he is not just what he is as a useful tool” I have ALL the ticks. (and how this mirrors Dean too for whom he has always also been a mirror).

Regarding your question I think the question I ask in return is:

Why is his angelic side such a huge part of him? For me it really isn’t and that is what I believe has been narratively portrayed in the show so far through the above expositions, all leading to the same end.His grace is not what makes him Cas.

For me that’s saying that what he is defines him, when that is not the case imo, whats important is who he is and the story we have been shown over the last decade for Cas is in my opinion about him learning this, experiencing new things that establish for the audience and for himself who he is and what he desires after millennia of not thinking about this and being the duty bound dullard he is teased as being by Lucifer, his dark mirror, it’s a journey to self discovery and self acceptance (as is Sam and Dean’s).

It’s our CHOICES that define who we are. 

I wrote this, saved it in my drafts and then saw @k-vichan‘s post here that covers this what/who we are topic in a similar way so I’ll also link to that.

Eg.

This is a pretty standard concept in stories for millennia (mythologies and religious texts rest on this too, Jesus wasn’t truly a carpenter, Moana wasn’t truly an island-bound princess, Hermione wasn’t truly a muggle and Harry wasn’t truly a Dursley even though they were blood) and it’s particularly noticeable over the last 20 or so years in film, it’s to do with social structures, slavery, history etc. Hence we have so many stories about self - discovery and self - a acceptance and SPN absolutely is one of these, it’s one of the core messages of the show. For me Sam, Dean and Cas all have this journey and for sure it’s not all about Cas throwing off the shackles of his family in a negative way, in the same way that Sam doesn’t have to reject running away fully and Dean doesn’t have to reject John outright, these stories are all about reconciliation of different parts of ones-self but the discovered part is always the strongest and the one that really ends up defining who they truly are while the first part is accepted as the beginning, the basis from which they started, remembered usually with fondness, not always negatively and for sure incorporated into them, not fully thrown off, but I can see this in the sense that he will be human but with a good relationship with Heaven, not actually remaining an Angel, e.g. as JK Rowling said Harry / Dursleys did end up on civil terms even though Harry was emancipated from them.

This is a pretty standard sci-fi concept and even a standard narrative for loads of stories and irl - just because you are born a certain way doesn’t make you who you are. It’s a standard story structure and it is really important, especially when there is a DECADE of build up that the person is NOT that?

And the whole last season was about WHO YOU ARE?

Imagine a story where:

- Chris is from one tribe, he’s brought up by other tribe members in a ‘family environment’. He fits ok, gets on with the jobs and rises to become quite important in the tribe community through his capabilities. The tribe elders repeatedly have to beat him down though because he is very clever, he is capable and he makes choices where they say he should just do as he is told as this is the way of that tribe, everyone has a place, some are more equal than others and that’s that.

- one day there is a crying baby, they are told not to touch babies as it is not their place but he picks it up to comfort it anyway, the baby stops crying and he is touched by this interaction. the elders come and snatch the baby away and whip him for it, berating him back into his place and forcing him back to work.

- after a while he meets a young man, part of the community of a different tribe, one where free will is part of the kit, called David. David is the utter embodiment of this tribe, he has free will, he’s strong and clever, empathetic and argumentative. David likes Chris despite himself and Chris likes David despite himself, David can see that Chris is different, clever, capable of making his own choices. He convinces Chris to rebel against the tribe elders and their plan which was to kill half of the other tribe in order to claim the land, claiming that in the end they could all live in peace, but Chris and David think it is abhorrent that they would kill half the people to do so.

- after this the first tribe is disbanded, Chris experiences life outside of his tribe. He becomes pretty good at life outside of it and smiles a lot more, he even starts flirting with David, who he always tried to just protect and follow the leadership of before but now he feels they are on equal footing he allows himself to see how this could play out.

- however a terrible thing happens, Chris’ original tribe elders regroup and try to get their tribe back under control, they come by and notice this bond, they are savage, torture Chris and threaten to cut off his genitals, he realises that he has one way to save David and David’s family - he could lay down his life and become a part of the tribe again, to protect David and his family. He of course decides to let himself become part of the tribe and goes back to work, being told what to do, following duty etc.

- But now its worse because he had a taste of freedom. David can see, but he’s not sure what to do, what does Chris really want? Does he want to be part of his original tribe? They are technically his family after all? But he seemed to not really be a member of this tribe all along, he rebelled and now believes in free will, plus David had hoped that he could be with Chris, even if it wasn’t ever said, it was implied they could be and given that Chris never seemed to really want to be a part of the other tribe it seemed like the best option for him anyway, even if they weren’t together that he would be a part of David’s own tribe at least and have free will and be happier. But David isn’t sure and doesn’t want the guilt of perhaps Chris wanting to be in his tribe only for him if his true place was with his original tribe. Chris never told him really what he wanted, even though David asked, he deflected the question because he wanted to protect him and felt duty bound to always do the right thing. So it’s all a giant mess and only Chris can truly say what he wants and make his choice.

Right?!!

So really - IS Angelichood / grace a part of what makes Cas CAS? Is it a part of his personality, his choices, WHO HE IS or is it just his biology / upbringing / his past before he could truly discover who he is during the telling of our story?

He uses his powers to get jobs done SURE. This for me shows that his powers are useful, it doesn’t mean he loves them. I don’t feel he has any kind of pride in them. He tells us his true form is the size of the chrysler building and that he doesn’t sweat, he shows Dean and Crowley his wings to show what he is and what power he has - for me that is not showing WHO he is, his personality, just what he is capable of thanks to his biological/Angelic form, plus these are all framed under DUTY, mostly of threatening (which is absolutely isn’t, he’s a lover not a fighter yet he fights only because he has to), he doesn’t do this kind of display for fun to show Sam and Dean in the bunker or whatever in their down time, this is all for the JOB. He says in s9 he misses his wings because they’re useful to him and because life on the road…smells. This is him saying he’d rather be able to be with the boys and do this research by flitting around, be with Dean who he is currently smiling down the phone to… that’s whats being exposed imo, not actually missing his wings because they’re a part of him, just their usefulness.

Then the most obvious of all the expositions imo:

CASTIEL: When I was human, you know, I had to eat constantly. It was kind of annoying.

SAM: Yeah, a lot of human things are pretty annoying.

CASTIEL: But…I enjoyed the taste of food – particularly peanut butter with grape jelly, not jam. Jam I found unsettling (…) Sigh…I miss you PB&J.

- This for me is the one line exposition of his WHOLE human experience. It was annoying (not all good) BUT HE STILL ENJOYED IT OVERALL. HE MISSES IT.

When do we see his personality? His likes? His dislikes? When does he smile? It’s not when he’s talking about being an Angel. It’s all to do with human things.

When he says he just wants to be an Angel again in 9x23 its because he is desperate, he is suffering, he thinks Dean is dead. Up until this point its been consistently shown that he didn’t WANT to be an Angel (he didn’t reply to Dean, then in s10 its even more consistent, with Daniel as exposition too and all the grace/Crowley/Metatron stuff). He just wants to be an Angel to dull the pain and because it’s easy, it’s what he knows, but it’s not what he TRULY wants. He then exposes through his convention with Hannah that sure there are bad points to humanity but the good points FAR OUTWEIGH THEM. He is wistful. He misses it.

He took his grace again through DUTY, because he felt he needed it to get the job done to save Dean (“the mission is everything”) and this is a personality trait of Cas’, the one that stops him from looking for and getting what he desires. 

Season 10 is like a queer, depressed person who goes back to their abusive family after their partner seems to have died and everyone is screaming noooooooo don’t do it! then we see the family taking them out hunting queer people, kidnapping them to take them to a “queer conversion camp” while they are hating it and trying to defend them but begrudgingly going along with it cos what choice do they have and they’re so down beaten by life…(that’s the Daniel episode) then the partner turns up on their doorstep like hey surprise I’m not dead! 

And how does this story end happily? With him leaving with the partner, setting up a lovely home together, becoming the teacher or whatever that they always wanted to be but couldn’t while they were with their family, adopting a kid and maybe even helping other people come to terms with themselves, still keeping contact with the GOOD members of their old family who were supportive even though they don’t necessarily see them very often, there is a nice link there still with the GOOD people…

So yeah, for me it’s not about shucking off Heaven/his grace in a negative way and saying fuck you! It’s just about accepting that he doesn’t want this for himself, that he’s discovered WHO he truly is after spending millennia only thinking about WHAT he is and what duty he can do. 

He is no longer a repressed duty bound dullard, he has discovered what he wants.

Everyone and their mother since s9 keeps asking Cas what and who he is, some even telling him that he’s NOT an Angel. Mary semi-assuming he’s a hunter. WHY is this a consistent narrative?

It’s a totally normal way of writing a story and exposing what the character’s endgame is.

Like when someone says to a character “you don’t think you deserved to be saved”, or “well, you’re a bit butch, maybe they think you’re overcompensating” or “he was your boyfriend first” or “the Angel in the dirty trenchcoat who’s in love with you” or “he’s your human weakness” or “you draped yourself in the flag of heaven but it was all about saving Dean Winchester”, and you just… look away uncomfortably (and usually swallow, Dean in particular usually does both).

source: @charlie-minion

That’s it. That’s the exposition. This is telling the audience YES what they are saying is true but the character doesn’t want to talk about it, cant acknowledge it for *reasons*. It happens in so many movies because we can’t see inside the character’s mind, it’s a visual narrative and it’s such a standard way of doing it… it’s just another trope to add to the long list in SPN.

Personally throughout the show it’s been a consistent narrative but massively more obvious since season 9, which fits with so many other stories as I say, that his is a voyage to discovering who he truly is, he then discovers it and has to take it away from himself and it makes him a depressed mess. 

It also totally fits with Destiel as a standard romantic narrative, that Dean helps him to discover who he really is and helps him get to his personal, individual endgame without being HIMSELF that endgame… it just all fits too well together to not be on purpose you know?

This is all my OPINION based on canon, it’s my interpretation, which is what you asked for and what this platform is for. IF they turn around and he doesn’t end up human I will be incredibly surprised but I won’t throw my toys out of the pram or be upset, they just need to address why it’s been written this way and either go for it or not and change the way it’s addressed in the end to explain why. Just like Destiel - why write the story one way to then not take it there is where I usually come from with these interpretations. It wouldn’t make sense as to why they would change their mind (and I personally don’t think they will at this point where Dabb era is just reinforcing all these points), because in my opinion this is what they have been writing so far so it makes no sense not to, but hey if I’m wrong in my interpretation I’m wrong!

If I’m wrong about them so far writing Destiel and human!cas into the script I’ll just be surprised but they are also fully capable of flipping it or not following through for other reasons, because the story isn’t over yet and it’s not a finite story like a movie or a book, it’s ongoing because of the nature of a tv show…so many things could happen that flip it so who knows but it would need to be written as making sense and until I see that starting to happen I’ll stick to this interpretation, especially given as I say, in my opinion Dabb era is reinforcing it, not flipping it.