Lover Like Me pt 7 | Feysand
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 ** Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14
LET THE DRAMA COMMENCE. See tags for CWs it's a bit spoilery.
I’ve never been much of a club person myself, and as soon as we step into Rita’s, the pounding music and claustrophobic press of bodies reminds me why. Still, I am constantly reeling at how much everyone keeps doing for me- am actually pushing down the discomfort it brings on what feels like a daily basis- and so I’m more than happy to do things they want to do, even if I really don’t.
I follow close behind Rhys while we order drinks and locate Azriel and Cassian. I’m holding onto one of Rhys’s belt loops because I’m quite sure if I don’t the crowd will swallow me whole. When Mor produces shots, I down mine quickly and chase it with a gulp of my scotch and soda.
“Hell yeah!” Cassian exclaims, and drinks his, too.
“To Feyre and sold paintings,” Azriel says, and Mor and Rhys raise their tiny glasses to that.
“Alright, alright,” Mor says, waving her hands. “Are we all supposed to hang out together all night or am I allowed to wander off and talk to pretty girls?”
“You can wander,” I tell her with a laugh. “Thank you for being here.” She kisses me on the cheek before she goes.
“Come on Cassian," she says, "I’m pretty sure I saw a set of straight/ gay twins on the way in.” Cassian frowns.
“How do you know-”
“I know…”
I lose their voices quickly, and when I turn back Azriel, too, has melted into the crowd.
“And you?” I tease Rhys. “Tempted to try your luck out there?”
“And leave you to fend for yourself?” Rhys asks, in mock indignance.
“I’m perfectly capable on my own.”
“You’re miserable here," he argues, eyebrows raised.
“How would you know?”
“You were drinking before we could toast your own success.”
I sigh, caught out. “I’ve never really liked clubs,” I admit.
“What is it?” he asks. “The noise? The crowd? The lights?”
“The dancing,” I confess.
“The dancing?” he repeats.
“Yeah I just… I don’t like dancing. I don’t really know how, I just feel so awkward out there.”
Rhys cocks his head at me. “What if you’re dancing with someone else?”
“Well that’s worse, then they’re just looking at me flailing around.”
“That’s not-” Rhys cuts himself off. “If I can make it non-painful, would you dance with me?”
“How are you going to making it non-painful? I think you underestimate my lack of grace.”
“Will you trust me?” He holds out his hand.
And I do. I trust him, even though I should know better; I should have learnt my lesson by now that beautiful men who whisk you away and promise you a better life are not worth trusting. Even though it feels like waiting to fall, waiting for the ground to hit me, I find that I do trust Rhys and the home he has made in Velaris. Maybe it’s because Rhys’s friends are lovely, and they trust him, and that makes it feel safer. Or maybe it’s because I want to trust him, want so badly for the world to be a better place than it has seemed so far. Either way, I finish my drink, put my hand in his, and pretend I’m just talking about dancing.
As we slide between moving bodies and find space before the DJ, I feel my heartrate pick up. Anxious, I’m always anxious when I have to dance in front of people. My mother used to tell me that I take myself too seriously, and it’s true that I don’t like feeling like a fool.
“Put your arms around my neck,” Rhys tells me. I do so, shy as my wrists land on his shoulders, and he looks right at me. “Trust me,” he says again, and before I can reply that I do, his hands slide over my hips.
The shock of his touch has my cheeks burning. We're so close I can feel his breath on my neck, and I swear I get a little dizzy in that instant. I drop my gaze, a Latin pop song is suddenly very loud in my ears, and I don’t know what to do with my feet. “I’ve got you,” Rhys murmurs, and with a light tug he’s holding me tight against him as he starts to move. Just a gentle rock, at first, his hips moving with the rhythm and me, pulled with him.
“Okay?” he asks, and I try to loosen up and let him move me. Try to follow his feet, and wonder how he knows where to step. I nod, and Rhys smiles. This close, it’s so lovely that I have to smile back. The noise of the club is dies right down, the crowd barely there. How can I notice anyone else when Rhys is right here? I'm distracted enough that I don't think so hard about where I'm going, and Rhys moves us a little more. I'm lined up all the way down his front, against the hard wall of his torso, and I can feel the warmth of him through my pale satin shirt as we move little sharper, a little deeper into the music, and oh my gods I’m doing it. I’m dancing, and actually this is fun. I relax a little, and put my teeth on my lip to stop myself grinning like an idiot.
"See?" Rhys says in my ear. "Not so bad right?"
Rhys steps back from me suddenly. Before I can be alarmed, he turns me round, catches me with my back against his chest. I laugh as I land, I sway in his arms and his fingers splay across my hip so he can keep us moving.
"I think this is cheating," I say.
"Nonsense, you're a wonderful dancer."
He curls around me, my hands land on the arm that’s folded over my waist and I lean into him. I can’t help it, it’s so delicious and he doesn’t seem to mind. It’s seamless, it’s easy when he’s doing all the work. I still feel like I’m clumsy on my feet, that my hips don’t move smoothly like his do, but this is the first time that I understand why people like this. When I feel the cold tip of Rhys’s nose on my shoulder, I break out in goosebumps.
He spins me back around and this time he’s holding my right hand, elbow loose as his steps nudge me back and then forward. I'm about to ask him where he learned to dance, but when I meet his eyes the question dies in my throat. The way he's looking at me... it's almost more than I can handle. He leans his forehead against mine, and I'm breathless. I close my eyes, try to remember how to work my lungs.
Rhys pulls back, and when I open them again he's grinning at me. So I grin back and keep dancing with him, and when he twirls and recatches me I just feel so happy. I’m warm like whiskey, and I am so acutely aware of every place our bodies touch. At the hips, and at our hands, and where his fingers press into my lower back. I’m glad of the excuse of the dance, and my inexperience, to cling tighter to him, savour the moment. The crowd sighs, and the liquor spins in my head.
“You’re kind of amazing, do you know that?” I tell him. I don't know when I got so brave.
“I’m not the one who just sold thousands of dollars worth of art,” he says back, white teeth flashing in the coloured lights. I shake my head.
“You just… you are though,” I say. Rhys gives me a strange look, that I can’t quite comprehend.
The song ends and as the next one begins, faster and more electronic than the last one, but we're still standing still. I don't want to leave his arms, not right now and hell, maybe not ever. Is this okay? I think. Am I allowed to like this? To want this? I feel the stroke of his thumb in the small of my back, even though we've stopped dancing. I find myself staring at his lips, they way they're slightly parted, and my fingers have found the edge of his collar at the back of his neck.
Rhys looks as if he is about to say something, when suddenly Mor appears beside us.
"You guys!" she shouts over the music.
"You," Rhys responds, less enthusiastically.
"Are you just dancing with each other?"
"What's wrong with each other?" I ask.
"You're supposed to be meeting your new lover," she tells me.
"My who now?"
"Anyone!" Mor says. "What about Tarquin? He's cute, and he's into you!"
Rhys snorts. "You can do much better than him, Feyre darling."
"A lover like you?" I tease.
His gaze snaps back to mine then, an unexpected intensity in his eyes.
“No,” he says. Snarls it, so angry that I am shocked.
Hurt, actually. Is the idea so repulsive to him?
As quickly as it had come, it vanishes. He looks away, and when he speaks his voice is light again.
"A lover nothing like me, if I can help it."
"Here here," Mor mutters, and scans the crowd as if she could pluck a suitor from the writhing mob.
Rhys's words ring in my ears, but I can't think about it right now. Not here, where it's so loud I can barely process my own thoughts. Rhys's hands are still on my waist, but I slip out.
“Do you want another drink?” I yell.
“Sure,” Rhys shouts back. “I’ll come with you.”
“No, you stay,” I tell him. “Dance without a weird hanger-on-er.”
“You’re not a hanger-on-er,” Rhys grins, but he steps back and starts dancing with Mor anyway, and I watch them for just a second before I head toward the bar.
“Two scotch and sodas please,” I tell the bartender, and while he’s making them up I lean against the counter top and turn Rhys's words over in my head.
A lover nothing like me.
I can't think about this.
Since I've moved into Velaris I think it's been fairly obvious that he's my favourite. I just thought maybe I was becoming his favourite, too. Is that stupid? Why would he like me better than his childhood friends, his family? Why would he like me like that?
A lover nothing like me.
I can't think about this.
I try to shove it away, to take back out later when I'm alone and sitting in the quiet. I'm wondering whether it will be weird now if I go back out there and keep dancing with Rhys, when my phone buzzes in my pocket.
I pull it out, and feel a flash of guilt when I see Tarquin’s name. In all honesty, I had forgotten we were supposed to meet him here.
Tarquin: We just arrived, are you guys here?
I bite my lip, and text back. I really should have put more effort in for the person who made this whole night happen.
Feyre: Yeah, I’m just at the bar!
I pay for my drinks and take a sip, supposing I should wait for Tarquin to find me before heading back to Rhys. I scan the room and don’t see him, although it’s dark enough that I’m not sure I’d recognise him unless he were fairly close.
“Feyre.”
I spin, expecting to see umber skin and gold jewellery. The smile is already half way formed. But it’s not him.
It’s Tamlin.
I have a drink in each hand and a frozen expression on my face. In the throb of the music, I hadn't recognised his voice.
I’d like to say that a million thoughts run through my head in that second, but embarrassingly, it’s just blank. I cannot think of one single thing to say, I have no words or even emotion except for shock. My brain tries to reconcile here, this club, the people who brought me; with him, the past, a life I had thought I’d left behind, but was clearly so very close behind me still.
“Tamlin,” I whisper.
“Oh so you haven’t got amnesia,” he says lightly. “Then it’s strange you’ve forgotten you’re mine.”
That’s all he says before his hand grips my elbow and I’m being dragged through the room. The drinks slosh out of their short glasses and it’s only the icy cold splash on my hands that prompts me to set them down on a tall table as I’m pulled along.
“Tamlin stop,” I say, and my voice comes out stronger than I thought it would. “I don’t want to go with you.”
But he’s so much bigger than me, and I trip along in his wake. I think, at least we’re in public. At least he can’t do anything to me while there are witnesses.
But then he shoulders open a side door and my heart drops into my stomach.
I try this time, really try to twist out of his grip. I fall to the floor, trying to surprise him with the shift in weight. I try to grab onto the frame of the door, I try prying his fingers off my elbow.
It doesn’t work.
Tamlin hauls me out into the alley and slings me against the wall. I shrink back, ashamed that I do but my body is so afraid of him.
“How did you find me?” I breathe.
“You forget Feyre,” he says, mockingly, “that I am very well connected. When your little painting sold, it went instantly onto the Instagram of an art dealer who worked for my father. Tagged the location and everything. All I had to do was pretend to be a fan and ask where around the gallery where I might be able to find you. It didn’t take long. A prick named Eris told me.
“And then I saw the painting in person and I thought, that looks awfully familiar. Looks like something that was in my house last time I checked. So it seems someone is a thief as well as a little slut.”
“You can’t steal what’s already yours,” I retort.
“Which is why you’ll be coming home with me without a fuss,” Tamlin replies smoothly.
“I’m. Not. Yours,” I growl.
“The fuck you’re not. My car’s parked out the front. Now walk.”
“No.”
“I said walk.” And this time something hard and very cold presses into my belly. I look down to see a gleaming silver pistol between us, and that’s it.
It’s over.
Just like that, the life that was just starting to crystallise around me blows away like gun smoke and it’s not that I shouldn’t have trusted Rhys, it’s that I shouldn’t have trusted any of this. That it would last. That it would be stronger that Tamlin.
I think that some people who spend time with bad people become very hard and untrusting. They don’t let anyone in and they don’t love. I’ve had the opposite reaction, somehow. After my parents died, after my sisters were awful, after Tamlin started to change, all I wanted was to be loved. All I wanted was to believe in goodness and for things to get better and I wish… I wish now that I was that first kind. The cold, untouchable kind. Better too discerning than not discerning enough, no?
I close my eyes against the tears that spring up, but Tamlin knows. He can see it in my face.
“See,” he croons. “You can be reasoned with after all.”
The pistol moves, now that he knows he has me, and I turn to walk with him. What else can I do?
I take all of one step when a dark figure steps into the alley behind us, and then Rhys is here. Rhys is here.
Rhys is here and there’s no witty one liners or taunts, there’s just his shadow in my peripheral vision and then the incredibly loud crack of two hits. Fast, one after the other. And it takes me a full minute to process what has just happened- Rhys has punched Tamlin square in the face as he’s turned, and then kicked the pistol out of his hand. Before Tamlin can recover, Rhys has scooped up the gun, emptied the bullets and tipped the pistol into the nearby dumpster with a frown of distaste. And only now that Tamlin has been disarmed do the words come.
"Are you alright?" he says to me. Cross over in three steps. Voice low and urgent, eyes searching. I nod, and wonder if I'm going into shock. His fingers lift my chin and he's looking me over.
“Rhysand you shit,” Tamlin spits.
“Tamlin, you fucking coward.” Rhys rounds on Tamlin, and his face twists with fury.
“You know, you’ve always been a bully but now you can’t keep a woman around so you threaten her with a gun. I didn’t think my opinion of you could get any lower but here we are.”
Tamlin laughs. “What are you going to do, Rhysand? Lecture me about violence and then hit me again? This is why no one ever takes you seriously.”
Rhys ignores the jibe. “What’ll it take to get this through your head?” he asks instead. “She. Doesn’t. Want. You. So just leave her alone.”
“She doesn’t know what she wants,” Tamlin says.
“She is standing right here,” I hiss. “And what I want is to never see you again. Please. Please. Leave me alone.” My voice breaks on it, and I don’t care that I’m begging.
“No.” Then he lunges, reaches for me, and Rhys steps in.
The fight breaks out now, really and truly this time, and oh it is awful. The sound of knuckles against bone and soft tissue is a sickening, wet thud that won’t stop coming. I go to call for help, ring Cassian or Mor or the police, but I’m trying to use my phone with one eye on the fight and my hands are shaking so badly. I don’t understand this male thing, this bloody and snarling tangle. I feel so painfully helpless, as the dial tone in my ear rings and rings, but I don’t dare run to find anyone. It’s like if I’m not here to witness it, anything, anything could happen, the worst could happen and if I stay then at least… at least… but this is where logic fails me, I don’t know what I’d be good for but at least Cassian is picking up now.
“The alley,” I gasp. “They’re fighting, I didn’t know what to do, come quick.”
“Which door?” Cassian says, and his words are short and sharp.
“Side door nearest the bar. Do I call the police?”
“No. They’ll side with Tamlin, they always do.”
“Okay. Just.. just hurry Cassian.”
“I’m almost there.”
And then the call disconnects, and I’m just left there staring and useless while Rhys and Tamlin make each other bleed.
I can’t tell who is winning, whose punches are landing. Everything is just a mess and there’s a part of me that wonders if I should try get between them, if I should try pull them apart. Another part of me is quite sure that if Tamlin has no qualms about sticking a gun in my stomach, I’m not a likely barrier to further injury.
Cassian, Azriel and Mor burst through the door at that moment, and I sag against the wall with relief. They shoulder their way into the fight, and haul the two apart. Azriel pushes Rhys behind the three of them, and Tamlin stumbles back, wiping blood from his mouth with the back of his hand.
“If it isn’t Rhys’s little friends come to save him,” Tamlin taunts. “What the hell are you doing here, Morrigan? Still trying to be one of the big boys?”
“Shut up Tamlin, I’ve beat your ass before,” Mor says, sounding bored. I’m instantly so impressed.
Tamlin’s eyes cloud over, and he bares his teeth.
“You’re on the wrong side,” he says, and the laughter is gone from his voice. “All of you. Protecting a fucking criminal.”
“I told you, I can’t steal my own paintings,” I say. I swear, the adrenalin is making me babble, I don’t know why I’m even talking. But Tamlin smiles a dark smile.
“Not you, sugar,” he says. “This one.” He looks at Rhys. “I have a restraining order, you may recall. One that you are now in violation of.”
And I’ll never know how he does it, but at that moment there’s a bleat of sirens and a police car is blocking the entrance of the alley. They’re coming toward us now and unbelievably, pulling Rhys into handcuffs. I try to catch his eyes but his face is impassive and selfishly, I want him to reassure me.
"You have the right to remain silent."
I blanche.
“Feyre, did you call the police?” Cassian, eyes wide. I shake my head, back and forth trying to make it make sense.
"No, I…"
“Anything you can say can be used against you in court.”
“Feyre did you call them?”
“No, you said not to, so I didn’t!”
“You have the right to talk to a lawyer for advice. You have the right to have a lawyer with you during questioning.”
“Rhys, Rhys are you alright?” Mor now, calling over the shoulder of the police woman. He finally looks up, and he looks much calmer than I feel.
“Who the hell called the police?” Azriel says.
“If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed for you.”
“Rhys, I’m sorry.” I’m truly panicking now, but it’s the only thing I can think to say. “I’m so, so sorry.”
At this he meets my eyes, and it's a sad, half smile that he gives me. "It's okay," he says.
“If you decide to answer questions now without a lawyer present, you have the right to stop answering at any time.”
Rhys is still holding my gaze. "It's okay," he murmurs again. "Stick with Mor. I'll be just fine."
And then the officer pushes down on his head and he's bundled into the car and the world blurs.
***
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