#but what if they mistook old clothes for Dan

[cryptidzatitagain]

A comic I made about the spooky lads AU by @alittlesliceofcucumber that was inspired by a conversation on the discord.

[cheekbonesandheroism-blog]

A not so brief history of me:

So my suicidal thoughts are back with a vengeance, and I'm in that cycle of too scared to tell anyone about it, so it may be cathartic to type this out, or it'll just serve as my suicide note, and I'm not fussed which tbh. Here goes

So, born 1988, youngest of two, son to an abusive military father and an abused mother. Ate as a coping mechanism, and got fat. Fat to the point that it ruined my body, and when I entered school, an obvious target to those that would seek to ruin my mind.

Got to my teens, several suicide attempts and incidences of cutting, while staying outwardly the "happy kid".

Now here's where things vary from what I've told people I know: I didn't get thin because I got some "mystery illness" from a holiday to Cuba.

I developed an eating disorder.

It took me five years to get over. It was a cycle of looking at food, eating the tiniest bit, then vomiting more than what I surely ate. But I finally "normalised", I'd beaten it, and because I was thin, I thought I was happy.

At the tail end of that, I met a girl, we became friends, then we fell in love. Moved across country to be with her, left everything behind. Got married (in what was a bit of a shotgun wedding). Moved in together, got a minimum wage job in a nursing home as a carer. I struggled financially, but I was content in my job and my marriage.

Fast forward two years, the worst thing that could happen happened, and I'd resolved never to speak of this ever again, but if I'm going to die soon, fuck it.

Here goes

A female resident had taken a liking to me. I was stick thin at that point, and she outweighed me by at least 10 stone. I was on a night shift. She lured me into her room, and proceeded to try and rape me. Pulled at my clothes. Grabbed at my crotch. Tried to pin me down. I ran out of the room. And I didn't report it, I didn't tell anyone. I was embarrassed, ashamed, I felt disgusting.

The next day, I received a call from work's head office. The resident had accused me of trying to abuse her.

I just fell apart.

I was arrested, my previous co-workers formed their own opinions. Some believed me, knew me. The majority didn't. My wife did.

After roughly 10 months of waiting, DNA evidence proved that I had done no wrong, but it wasn't enough to prove my side either. The case was dropped. So I left it, I was just happy that after considering suicide yet again, I was free.

After about six months without a job, I finally got one at a large retail store.

Due to my recent experience I had changed. I barely spoke to colleagues or customers. I was withdrawn. I relished the task of pushing trolleys, as it got me out in the car park, away from everyone.

Then, slowly, over a matter of years, with the help of some amazing friends, I became my old self again. I was happy. People told me what I meant to them, they cared.

It didn't last.

I work with mostly female colleagues. My wife didn't have a job so she stayed at home, playing videogames, watching TV and speculating what I did at work all day. I had a few very friends, and they are like sisters to me, but my wife mistook that closeness for something else. Desire, I believe.

There were arguments, accusations, her two sisters (habitual bullies with a very controlling nature, had tried to control me and what I did in every aspect) fed the flames inside my wife's head. Then it got worse.

I had a best friend. We would do everything together, chat together, even once went to the theatre together. She was truly like the little sister I never had. And my wife had messaged her, accused her of "wanting" me, and me if "wanting" her. And then my wife's sisters messaged her too. We still tried to carry on the friendship, via a group chat (seemed "safer"). But that was not good enough, the flames in my wife's head burning ever higher. They messaged my best friend again, then it was done. She was friendly but distant at work, broke off all contact outside of work. She went travelling for a month, and I didn't hear from her until she came back to work.

Now, indeed, my friend is very attractive, beautiful, but believe it or not I never had "those" feelings for her. Firstly because her looking like her, and me looking like me, there would be no chance in hell she would ever have those feelings towards me. And secondly, we "hit it off" as friends almost immediately, and I would never do anything to ruin the friendship we built. As you can imagine she gets enough attention off guys as it is. So if like to think she'd appreciate having at least one friend who won't confess feelings and make shit awkward for her, as has happened more then a few times before. I care too deeply about her.

A few months passed, and me and my friend slowly began to chat again, just a little at a time, but it was never to be the same as it was.

During all this I became depressed again, unhappy in my marriage, and my wife and her family would endlessly torment me, to the point I attempted suicide again. And started cutting again. And started vomiting again.

It all came to a head early this year. A massive, one sided argument erupted. Started hitting me, threatening me with a knife. Her sister (we had moved in with my sister in law a few months back, against my will, to "save money", the irony being they got me into debt and bled me dry) threatened me, hit me.

I hurriedly packed a bag, and took off into the cold dark night.

I called a few friends, and was prepared to sleep in a park, before one of them got back to me, offered me a spare room.

I stayed with him and his pregnant wife (who I had known for a while too) for several months, helping them financially, trying to find a place to stay. Their family members started talking to them about me, insisting that I was "freeloading". They still remained my friends, and I had never gone there with a view to take advantage of their kindness, and again, as before, something broke between us. I continued to help them financially, helped them redecorate, make the house ready for their baby. Then I moved out, got a small flat by myself. With nothing but the clothes in my hastily packed suitcase. I needed to rebuild my life.

I came to a realisation: right from the second I was born to that moment, I had always had someone around me, always lived with someone. For the first time in my life, I was completely alone.

I wasn't made to be alone. I was trapped in my own head. No amount of TV or games could fill the massive depressive void in my head.

Over this time, I was chatting with my former best friend again, talking about this that and the other. I had come to rely on her to help distract me from my depression.

But I noticed that she treated me differently than our mutual friends. She would hug them, not me. She would compliment them, never me. She would let them know exactly why she was friends with them, why she liked them, but not me. Things were still broken between us.

And to this day, we still talk, and on the surface appear to be best friends again. But she doesn't realise that no amount of distraction is the same, means more to me, than validation. Than to be treated the same as our other friends. To be told why she keeps me around. Because the old depressive and anxious thoughts creep in. Is she just pretending to be friends with me out of a sense of obligation? Does she even still want to be friends with me? It seems pathetic (it probably is tbh), but her friendship is one of the few things I have left. And it just hurts, so fucking bad, that apparently we can never go back to the way things used to be, a year or so ago. After all this time, it breaks me every day, when she treats me different. I feel tainted. Toxic. Cursed.

And that brings us to now. Across this time the depression built and built, to the point where I honestly, more than anything, want to disappear, to die quietly and remove myself from everyone's life. Because I honestly think I would not be missed.

You have to understand, this isn't a cry for help. If anything it's a justification for any actions against myself I may take in the future.

If anyone sees this, and wants to know more, feel free to send me an ask. If I'm still around I'll do my best to answer it.

Look after eachother

Love Dan

[aesthetic-elysian-blog]

kissa sins A prisoner is dominated by a woman guard in ejaculation management

kissa sins anal  After the failed marriage, the woman remarried and passed without anyone else particular young lady to live with her. Life is to a mind blowing degree happy when she is past a sensible powerlessness loved by her stepfather. In any case, that is basically "shallow" of a story éo le ...

Debilitated marriage

Zhang Lean (Hebei Province, China), after optional school graduation, she came to work in the city of Tian He. In 1992, she met a man named Guo Leng.

That same year he married a man, and following a year he passed on a young lady named Guo Xiao Li. Notwithstanding the way in which that her life associate is just an ordinary specialist, the economy isn't wealthy regardless family life is respectably happy kissa sins porn .

Unfit to withstand the wheeze of her life associate, the woman pushed the catlike fat. (Structure)

Unfit to withstand the wheeze of her cherished one, the woman pushed the catlike fat. (Portrayal)

Regardless, after that re-feeling of his present life extremely obliged, he needs, making it hard to quickly get rich off work and motivate money to team up. After a couple of failed theories, he wound up mistook for alcohol dependence, the couple dependably quarreled over obviously immaterial purposes of intrigue.

In 2001, Dan did not drive forward through any further spills, so recorded a division. After the fundamental, the court apparent two bundles, the 8-year-old young lady was taken to home country.

Guards who isolate from must act regularly needy, so it gives Le had progressed toward winding up sooner than trade youngsters. Running home with his father, Le began a radical new life, this impacts her as consistently as possible to have evaluations of misery.

kissa sins nude  In light of his development, Father Le routinely foreseen that would meander out before timetable to make his father now and again have the opportunity to talk. In context of good physical accomplishment at school, Le was picked by the rec focus instructor into the distractions get-together to wind up long division contender.

Reliably despite taking in the learning, Le similarly sharpened diversion makes her life more epic. In 2003, Zhang got together in Beijing and related for a furniture bargains alliance.

This time, weave a 25-year-old man named Li An. A will be a territory of Shan State, Beijing. Positively he's an OK individual who giggles and makes people feel so especially composed and charming.

In spite of how she was seven years old, in spite of she has a relationship with a woman who has had a presence accessory since she has a debilitated past. Proceeding forward from discretionary school A dropped out and went to work in a paper system in an adjoining town.

With his dormant cheerful nature, he makes accomplices with the hazards of general play and eating and drinking. Endeavor not to pay high pay to regard drinking so An enthusiastically gobbling up stash. So he has negative examinations, in 2001, A broke into the place of robbery and got and got a sentence of 1 eighteen months year in prison.

Following to leaving A prison to work and a humble piece at some random minute accumulate money and legitimately limiting professional change for little works, the economy in like way has a spot of adequate. Appeared by sidekicks Dan and after that married her, married couple married couple rent a house in the suburbs living. Seeing young ladies living with their relatives scarcely despised not to mind intentionally so Dan with her loved one to live with Le.

Stepfather into mate

In the wake of returning home with my mother, Lệ felt the gleam that I long to hurt for. His father was reasonably to an inconceivable degree breathtaking. A moreover worships his life partner's youngsters, dependably get her new bits of pieces of clothing, toys, books, now and again take Le play stop.

In 2005, Dan passed on An a young lady, similarly starting there Dan contributed all the hugeness and love to consider this child. By uprightness of her revered one dependably rest wheezing, Dan searched for after her life accomplice to bed with Le in his bed outside and in his live with the newborn child kid.

A little piece at some random minute grabbed that giving me and my stepfather were the decide warmth that she felt. Medium-term lying with his life accomplice's own specific youths, A tapped for basic rest. The likelihood of the stepfather constantly makes her vibe the most blissful and considers his stepfather the closest individual in his life.

Around 8 pm reliably in April 2007, the whole family finished dinner, A mate into the room taking a gander at the TV, a little slice Dan uncovered to her young woman need to rest so A likewise go to bed early. Take a gander at his life partner cover the bed out clearly.

Starting at now Xiao Li in like path went to bed, taking a gander at the methods for his stepfather should Le trade people lying on the edge of the divider for An outside. In context of high physical development, the 13-year-old looked like a youthful.

In the midst of the night, the body moved and a concise time period later randomly disintegrated his arms over A, causing A to mix, his heart throbbing and his hands pushing down on him. That night A had beated his moral purpose behind limitation and Le had no reaction by any stretch of the creative limit.

Dan rested in the room so alongside by no means whatsoever, see what happened. Days eventually later, Le and his stepfather kept up this incredible relationship, and reliably, Ly set his head back on A's hand to rest, with her lone when she was put on his father's chest to be ensured.

Dependably, Dan other than watched the capability in his appreciated one, he no longer extravagant thought of his cherished one as before should suspected life gather as one with fondness n

[kathleenwaller]

Paris Fashion Week

Yeah, we know this already: Parisian je ne sait quoi — it’s a way of existing and not what you wear or who you are.  But it’s really, actually true and there’s no better time and place to see it than the streets of Paris during a Paris Fashion Week.  We can’t all get into the shows.  You can be invited to front row if you’re famous enough to be paparazzied or you can sit in the back if you pay a minimum of 2000 euros. Most of us will just walk the streets and go to the fashion museum instead.  We will feel a part of it as we shop and take a coffee on a terrace.  

Youth means nothing here if you let the idea of it drift away.  The most chic at this café as I write to you now are the seventy-plus-year-old women with gold sneakers, black outfits, fantastic haircuts, funky eyewear, and that je ne sais quoi.  I mistook them for French when they arrived as many do to me, when I’m feeling in my element. ��They speak the language somewhat and they know the game. They are relaxed in themselves and happy to be alive.

Fuck.  That’s all it is.  Nothing more.   Relax and love your life.  

If you do that, you can grow old, you can gain some weight, you can have a hard day at work.  All this can happen and you can still find le bonheur.  You find happiness in the tiny things in your life: the coffees of course, but also the time to dry one’s hair, the movement of your scarf as you walk, the sound of the old motorcycle passing by, the way the sun comes up differently each day.  It’s a slightly melancholic happiness, one that allows for sad moments of reflection and the constant realisation of one’s mortality pushing you toward appreciating every moment and wondering what will come next.  

We are aware we may not be at Fashion Week next year, but if we are, it will be different.  It will constantly change.  The clothes can go to a museum or a closet, but there will be new ones.  And the models will change.  If they are the same people, they will have different haircuts or take on different weight.  If they are different, well they may be new or they may be from days of old, coming back like Cindy and her entourage this year with Donatello.

I hear two models behind me talking about the taxing work of the shows, how many they’ve got today.  They walk by, dressed in complete oppositions from each other: goth and feminine florals.  They seem genuine, serious, but happy.  A man tells them they are too skinny and they just laugh.  They are, as the French say, good in their skin: bien dans leurs peaux.  

If you play the game of loving oneself like the Parisians do, then you will love Paris.  If you try to find happiness in the external, it will elude you.  You will never find the true nature of its giving.  It is there for us all but we have to hold love inside ourselves and we have to give it away.  We have to allow our love to travel the world in our absence.