#but whatever. boo hoo. I’m gonna go take a shower before I have to pick up my brothers from school

[floral-hex]

At least once a day, every day, no matter how much I try to ignore it, I feel this deep & sudden nausea of being swallowed up into an inescapable void

[luca-moreno]

Look. Marie is probably gonna have my balls for this but listen. I'm going to say the thing everyone else is thinking but doesn't have the guts to say. Think of it as 'tough love' if that helps at all. Okay. Here we go.

Kiss him. Or shut the fuck up.

-sincerely the Berlin collective

(helpimsosorry) (thisisahotmess) (justlikeLuca) (alsolong) (sorry) -- Thurman and Braun eye Luca, currently wrapped up like a burrito on the floor of the observation lounge. Thurman nudges him gently with his boot. “You alright in there, Moreno?”

“Lemme alone,” comes the muffled response. “I’m dying.”

They look over at Harris and Davis, perched together on the couch while the stars swirl outside. They wear matching raised eyebrows but it’s Braun that asks in a lowered tone, “What’s wrong with him?”

Harris doesn’t bother to look up from the datapad she holds in her hand or the obnoxiously loud Blasto game she’s playing. Davis leans over her shoulder, offering advice that Harris steadfastly ignores. 

“He’s freaking out about the thing again,” she shrugs.

“The thing?”

“The thing.” 

“Oh.” Braun nods sagely then exchanges a confused glance with Thurman.

“What’s the thing?”

Harris pauses the game to look up and Davis snatches the pad out of her hands. “Wait. So you guys haven’t heard?”

“Heard what? The commander’s had us running drills for the past twelve hours. Where the fuck were you two on it, by the way?” 

“Oh my god,” Davis grabs Harris’s arm then cackles before returning to the game. “They don’t know.”

“Nope.”

Thurman rubs the back of his neck and squints, suddenly uneasy. “Not the…”

“No! Not the… other thing. This is the phoenix thing.”

“Oh.” Thurman walks away, immediately bored. 

Braun, however, leans his big frame closer. Blue eyes sparkle curiously. “What phoenix thing?”

The Blasto game starts up again and Harris snarls in exasperation, then half clambers over Davis to reach it. “Will you shut that thing off?”

“I’m dying,” comes another muffled moan from the floor that everyone ignores. “In case anyone cares.”

Braun reaches down to pluck the datapad from between the two squabbling girls and lifts it out of their reach. Harris snarls. “Hey!”

“Braun, give it back!”

“Someone tell me what’s going on. Why does Luca think he’s dying?”

“Hurricane planted one on him then ghosted,” Davis informs him helpfully. “He’s been lying on the floor crying about it for two days.”

“Boo fucking hoo,” Harris bitches, crossing her arms tight across her chest and pouts dramatically. “’A phoenix kissed me.’ We should all be so lucky.”

“Or not,” Thurman mutters from the doorway. 

Braun slowly lowers his arm, but Harris isn’t satisfied with that and half climbs up him to reach the datapad he’s holding hostage instead. “Ah. That thing.”

“Yeah. That thing.”

There’s another moan from the floor.

-- 

Isaac knows it’s going to be bad when Davis shows up on the doorstep to his quarters and deposits Luca into his care with an eye roll and not a single word.

He leads Luca, burrito blanket and all, towards the couch.

“Luca,” Eva sits up quickly, tucking her book away. “Are you sick?”

“I’m dying,” Luca mumbles as Isaac plants a hand on one shoulder and guides him down onto the couch. He tries to catch Eva’s eye as Luca flops face first down onto the cushions.

“Do I need to call Dr Lyons?” he asks carefully.

Luca’s is reply is muffled and pathetic. “No.” A pause, then. “Two doors.”

Eva’s lips twitch as Isaac visibly relaxes and he sighs inwardly, thinking of the quiet evening he was hoping to have and the shower still calling his name after a long, dragging shift in the CIC. But he’ll always make time for Luca.

“Do you want to talk about it, son?”

There’s another heavy sigh from the blanket. “No.”

Isaac waits a beat for Luca to say more but when it’s clear he’s not going to, he clears his throat lightly. He’d put credits down that this has something to do with Phoenix Roosevelt and Luca’s very obvious, and possibly unrequited crush. Where did this fall in the handbook? He wonders briefly to himself if he’s not above getting Miller to handle it. 

And he would, if it wasn’t Luca.

Eva touches his hand and motions her head towards the shower. I’ve got this, she mouths. He doesn’t take his eyes off her.

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it, Luc?” he tries one more time. 

A pathetic moan is the only response he gets and Eva hides her silent laugh behind her hand. “Go,” she says softly. “I’ll talk to him.”

Isaac glances between the prone shape beside her and his private, glorious bathroom and decides since there’s no immediate danger, he’s within his rights to take Eva up on her offer.  

Plus, Eva will get more out of him anyway.

“Alright,” he nods gratefully then offers Luca a conciliatory pat on the shoulder as he slips away.

--

Eva brushes a hand over Luca’s curls and mentally counts to ten, except that she only gets to three before Luca is rolling over and suddenly pulling himself upright. 

The blanket pools around him and his hair sticks up in wild disarray around his face. 

“Okay. I lied. I’m not dying and I do want to talk about it.”

Eva nods. “Alright.” ”Uh. So you know that thing… that I told you about… that happened?”

“The thing?”

“Yes,” Luca half glares at her, wondering if she’s teasing him. She is, just a little, but only because Luca’s angst over a simple meeting of mouths was a delightful distraction from her own worries. ”The thing.”

“Ah,” Eva says knowingly, her lips twitching. “The thing being the kiss. With a capital K… With Ben.” 

Luca’s mouth works silently for a moment before he groans and slumps backwards. 

“The Kiss. Yes. Well, I mean… I think it was a kiss. There was a definite-“ Luca closes his eyes and puckers his lips dramatically before moving on, “-but I don’t know. I mean… We were working out, he was trying to teach me stuff but then we fell and I thought... well, maybe I was dreaming, like maybe I had slapped myself with the staff and I didn’t realise it? Or maybe I hit him too hard and I rattled his brain and he didn’t really know what he was doing... Or, maybe it was just an accident-“ 

“You think he might have accidently kissed you?”

“Why not? It happens!” He eyes her shrewdly then. “Right?” 

“I wouldn’t know,” she says carefully and Luca pauses to snort ungracefully before continuing. 

“The point is,” he goes on, getting really warmed up now. “It must have been bad, right? The kiss? I mean, he charged away. Like… an actual charge, Eva. Biotics and all, he was that keen to get away from me. Just. Poof. Gone. I’m surprised my eyebrows didn’t get singed-“ 

Eva laughs. “You know it doesn’t work like that, Luca.” 

“Shh, not important,” he waves that pesky fact away dismissively but then he falters and gives her a mock growl. “– and stop. I’m trying to have a moment here, and you’re ruining my dramatical meltdown.”

That causes her to muffle her laughter into a cushion she’s forced to snatch up from the couch. One of the pretty sparkly ones she had eyed off on Asteria and Isaac had bought behind her back to surprise her.

“I’m sorry,” she says formally as she schools her face into something suitably serious and lowers the cushion to her lap. “– please, Luca. Continue.”

He huffs. “Well. No. Now I’ve lost my place. Thanks a lot, I was really working up to something there.”

“The kiss?” she prompts, trying not to laugh again.

“OH SWEET KHALAHIRA, THE KISS.” 

He spins, then flops dramatically down beside her. “Eva,” he whines her name like a toddler begging for a treat. It’s enough to make her sigh. “What do I do?”

“Maybe you could... Hmm. I don't know... No. It’s too crazy. You wouldn’t want to know about it.”

“What? What is it? Is it another one of your funky breathing techniques? Some asari thing? Can it read minds?!”

“Well, it’s very complicated. But it just might help you.”

“What?! Tell me. Eva!”

“.... you could try talking to him.”

Luca is aghast and horrified all at once. “NO?? Why would I do that?”

“It has to be better than…” she waves a hand and eyes him critically. “Whatever this is.”

“A crisis, Eva. This is a crisis. Of epic proportions. On a scale of one to reapers this is.. I dunno, what's worse than reapers trying to wipe out the entirety of galactic civilization?” 

Eva doesn't want to think about that last part. “Well, I think it’s sort of sweet if you ask me," she says instead. "Ben’s nice. He’s not at all what I expected. And he obviously cares about you. Why else would he be trying to hit you with a stick to make you better in combat?”

Luca makes a strangled sound halfway between a snort and a cackle. “He just doesn’t want to have to carry me back to the LZ over his shoulder when a dragoon gets me. I bet he could too.”

Eva has to bite the inside of her cheek not to laugh at Luca’s dreamy expression. “I’m sure he wouldn’t even break a sweat.”

Luca seems tremendously interested in that mental image for a few seconds before he falls back into his funk. He tucks himself in against her and she can sense he’s working up to something entirely new. 

“What did you do?” he asks after a minute, quiet and subdued. “You know, with the captain?” 

Eva smiles at the memory in spite of herself. “Well, hmm. For starters… I guess I kissed him back.”

Luca scrambles up and gathers up a cushion to hug it to himself as he slides her a sideways glance. 

“Yeah? And did you teleport out of the room immediately afterwards?”

Eva can’t help it, she dissolves into giggles and Luca whacks her gently with the pillow.

“No…”

“SEE!” 

He picks up his faithful blanket and hauls it over his head until the only thing that she can see is his curls. 

“This is so stupid. I’m so stupid. I’m just gonna pretend it never happened.”

“Luca. I’m sure it’s fine. It’s just a kiss. It’s a good thing. I don’t understand. I thought this was what you wanted?”

His head peaks up, eyes dark pools over the blanket’s trim. “I don’t know. I mean… yes? But also… no? Yes. Um. Definitely yes? No… Oh, no.”

“Now you’re confusing me. What is it that you actually want, Luc?”

He grows very quiet for a moment and Eva allows him to sit with his thoughts. He was getting better with his focus. The meditations he’s been doing with her in the quiet off hours are definitely helping.. at least she hopes.

“It is… I think. I just… I don’t want to mess it up, Eva,” he says, his voice small. “I really like him. He’s my friend, so it’s not just… well, you know-“

He does something with his eyebrows that has her wanting to laugh again, but she stifles that urge in case he whacks her with the cushion again, “-but he’s just… He makes me feel… I don’t know. Like I’m capable of important things even though I’m not special like him... or you…”

“Because you are, Luc. Don’t sell yourself short.” 

“I know that and I’m not. I mean. Not really. I’m just… How can you want something so badly but be so scared to reach for it? It doesn’t make sense... but then what if you do… and then everything gets all messed up and then you don’t even have a friend anymore and things get all weird and awkward and plus I know he's still missing them and I can’t-“ 

Eva feels the ache inside her as she reaches for him and tugs him into a hug, effectively cutting him off before he spirals once again. He leans into her miserably, his soft hair tickling the side of her jaw. 

“Luca,” she says it on a sigh, because this… this hits too close to home and how can she encourage him to give himself over to something that might be so beautiful… but has the potential to hurt so much too?

He snuffles lightly into her chest. “I need someone to send me a sign,” he mutters. “Something from the universe to tell me what to do.”

He’s barely finished saying the words when his omnitool beeps with an incoming message. He pulls away to read it and she lets him go. 

“Huh? What the… Why is Ajax mess- ohfuck-“ 

“Well,” Eva laughs at his horrified expression as she reads the scrolling text over his shoulder. “I guess that’s your sign, Luc.”

--

Ben opens the door to his quarters and the first thing Luca does is grab his shirt and pull him close. Except, that’s not actually what happens because Ben is more solid than he looks and Luca ends up losing his balance and falling into his chest with a small grunt instead.

Ben catches him with a confused look. “Luca?”

“Um. Look,” Luca starts, hands still tangled in Ben’s shirt, close enough to breathe him in and see the way the vanguard’s eyes glow in the low light of the hallway. “So... there’s a million things I want to say and all of them are probably stupid, but… you kissed me and I don’t know what that means and I can only hope it means what I want it to mean, but if it doesn’t mean what I want it to mean then that’s okay too and I hope this doesn’t change anything because I really like being your friend but just once, just once, I want... to.. do.. this...” Luca traps Ben’s face gently between his palms... and kisses him. 

[hey-kids-want-some-avengers]

Twelve days of Christmas: day 4. Baby, it’s cold outside.

Baby, it’s cold outside. A/N: this is like fluffy, sorta smutty Christmas crack with a giant bow on top. Sam and Bucky get snowed in during a storm and during their time forced together Sam decides they need to make sure the human race doesn't die out. Yup. _____________________________________________ Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson Warnings: NO MPREG! snow storm, hate/love, dirty talk, general smut-y stuff, fluff, anxious Bucky ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨ Sam was too drunk to go home last night, simple as that. Steve, Sam and Bucky had stayed in, drinking and talking, a movie in the background for the better part of Christmas. It had been fun, really, and even though Bucky and Sam bickered at every occasion, it had actually been nice. Around 1am or so, Steve had gone home (stupid super serum soldiers and their crazy bodies) and offered Sam a ride, of course, because Steve's a gentleman. Sam denied it though, said he would call a cab later and that he wanted to finish the movie and his beer. Bucky hadn't complained, just threw on some pajamas and sipped a mug of tea because apparently he's an old lady, and sat on the chair opposite of him after showing Steve out. Sam couldn't remember anything past that for the life of him, but waking up on Bucky's couch with a blanket over him and his head pounding loud enough in his ears he feels like he might die is sign enough he didn't make it home. He probably passed out before either of them called a cab. He'd been past a little drunk, but Sam liked drinking, especially over a holiday and with Steve, Bucky too, he guessed. It took the tension out of everything. He heaved himself up after a few more minutes, waiting for the room to stop spinning. "Shit," he mumbled, rubbing his eyes tiredly. The lights were all off, but he could smell coffee from the other room, so he figured Bucky was probably awake. The guy only ever slept like, what, two hours? He stood, his balance thrown a little as it spun, tilting. He’d drunk too much, and he was currently thanking the heavens above for blessing him with a strong stomach and alcohol tolerance. He’d never had a really bad hang over before, honestly. A little nausea, bit of a headache, but not much else. “Hey, Bucky?” He called out awkwardly, his voice sounded gruff. Bucky emerged a few moments later, wearing grey sweats and a red t-shirt, hair pulled back. He raised an eyebrow at him skeptically. “Huh?” He doesn’t look amused, but he looks like it’s normal that Sam passed out in his house. “Sorry, about last night?” He said awkwardly, smoothing a hand over his face. Bucky shrugged and went back to the kitchen, emerging with two mugs of coffee, still steaming. “It’s fine, ya feelin’ okay?” He asked, setting Sam’s mug on the table. “Not bad, been worse,” he said, picking up the mug after he sat back down on the couch. “I’ll get outta your hair soon.” Bucky gives him a look like he just stripped naked in a supermarket, before glancing towards the window. “Yeah, uh, that’s not gonna happen.” Sam looked at him blankly. Seriously, this guy couldn’t ever just explain, he had to be so cryptic. It was infuriating. Bucky leaned back in his stupid old-guy recliner and sipped at his coffee. Of course he drank it black. “We’re snowed in,” he said flatly, peering at him, over his mug. And upon looking out the window, he found he really wasn’t kidding. There was packed down snow as high as the windows, only a tiny gap at the top, exposing wind and of course, more snow. Fuck. “Oh hell no,” Sam said hurriedly, waving a finger at Bucky. “I’ve got shit I gotta get done!” “Like what, sit on your ass?” Bucky grinned. “I’m not you.” Bucky glares accordingly and huffs. “Yeah, whatever, you ain’t gonna be able to make it out any time soon,” he shrugged. “Steve’s held up in a hotel somewhere.” “Awesome,” Sam grumbled. Bucky seemed virtually Unphased. “So we’re gonna be the last sad fuckers on this planet?” Bucky snorts. “Yeah, right,” he says as he kicks his legs up. Wow, who wears sweats that tight anyways? He hates this guy, hates him so much his dick hurts. What. Bucky raises an eyebrow at him. He’s staring, smooth Wilson, smooth. He jerks his eyes to his own coffee abruptly “it’ll probably safe to get home in a day or two?” Bucky says, though he doesn’t sound sure of himself. He has no idea, he’s sure. “Yeah, guess we’ll see,” he says back awkwardly. Bucky shrugs, goes back to sipping at his coffee. The house is a little cold, dim too. There’s no light coming from the windows, after all. But it’s not uncomfortable, and somehow they haven’t lost power, so he’ll take that as a win. Sam sighed, drumming his fingers against his cup. He should probably drink it before it gets cold, but there’s a thick tension in the room he can’t shake off. Bucky’s not even looking at him, but it’s awkward, feels like he’s on the spot light, like maybe Bucky’s doing everything in his power not to look at him. The situation sucks, really. “Hopefully it doesn’t get much worse, we’re running on my backup generator,” he says absently after another agonizing minute of silence. “You have a fucking backup generator in this thing?” Sam asks, eyebrows raised. The house isn’t that big, it’s only got two rooms, a bathroom and small kitchen and living room. He’s not sure where one would even go. “Yes,” he says back, glaring. “Lucky for you.” Sam shrugs, because he’s not wrong, he just can’t figure out why, when and how this thing came to be. Or where for that matter. A few hours pass, Sam’s taken a shower, and yeah, he purposefully uses all the hot water, brushed his teeth with a spare toothbrush Bucky has, and put his clothes back on. He’d finished his second mug of coffee and was settling back into the couch when the lights flickered. Bucky wasn’t even in the room, he’d excused himself around the time Sam went to take a shower so he could clean up and get dressed into something a little less sloppy, not that Sam gave a shit. He gave the light a long hard stare, because there was no way in hell he was gonna freeze to death in the dark, but he stopped and the heater was still thrumming, so he relaxed a little. It wasn’t until Bucky re-emerged in jeans and a hoodie, flopping down unreasonably close to Sam that the lights finally do just go out. The heater stops on queue and it’s silent. “Fucking hell,” Sam mutters and by the look on Bucky’s face, he thinks he’s feeling the same way. “Shit,” he breathes, rolling his eyes. “Well so much for that.” “I’m gonna die, stuck in a shitty little house with you.” “Oh boo hoo, Wilson,” Bucky retorted. “I made you coffee, gave you the couch, let you take a damn shower, I think you’re gonna survive.” Sam huffs. “Not if I have to sit around you much longer.” Bucky rolls his eyes. “Yeah, right.” Sam and Bucky sit next to each other in silence, probably looking like children with their arms folded over their chests, refusing to look at each other. He hates how much he actually can stand Bucky. He drives him crazy, of course, but it’s in a good way, even if he claims it isn’t. He’s thought about Bucky when he was alone on more than one occasion, and he’s never (almost) actually hated their time together. He kind of treasures it in a weird way. He knows Bucky is going to drive him insane, both with annoyance and sexually, but he can’t find it in him to care. “Seriously though, everyone else is gonna die out,” Sam says again, finally. Bucky looks at him, unamused. “Why would we be the only survivors?” “We’ve had heat the longest,” he shrugs. “You’re assuming.” “Pretty damn sure.” “Okay, fine, but we’ll still die eventually.” Sam sighs, exasperated. “That’s why I said we have to,” he pauses, motioning vaguely with his hands. “Repopulate.” Bucky makes a face. “Last I checked we all have dicks here,” Bucky says seriously, and yeah he totally just stared at Sam’s crotch, because of course he did. “When did you check, I must’ve missed that?” “So you don’t have a dick?” Wow, how did they end up here? Sam shakes his head with a low chuckle. “I think we both know the answer is that I very much do, have a dick.” Bucky shrugs. “What?” “Didn’t say anything.” “You’re all—shrugging, you shrugged!” “So?” Bucky looks at him like he’s crazy. “What, you don’t believe me now?” “I never said I didn’t,” Bucky says with a grin. “I swear to God-“ Sam starts, but before he’s finished, they’re kissing. Sam honestly has no idea how it happened. He’s not even entirely sure which one of them made the move, but neither of them seem to really mind either way. It’s surprisingly softer than Sam thought it would be, when he’d actually thought about it, he’d always assumed it would be rushed, kind of hard. Honestly, minus the slight chapped scrape of Bucky’s lips, everything about it is soft and slow, gentle. When they do part, they’re still only inches apart, and Bucky’s looking at him carefully. “Huh,” Bucky says, pulling Sam into his lap with disturbing ease, kissing him again. Of course he doesn’t complain, it’s a fine late Christmas present. He’s kind of been waiting for it. Especially after he discovered that Bucky can’t shop for shit. “What?” Sam asks, a little breathy when Bucky breaks it again. “Nothing, Nothing,” Bucky says, but it’s beyond clear he’s lying. “No, what is it Barnes?” “You’re honestly really easy to work with, are we sure you’re not the one without a dick here?”

[vrenaewrites]

CRAVE by Tracy Wolff thoughts: Ch 22 - ch 48

Full video here.

CH 22: Baby, it’s hot in here

Like, baby it’s cold outside?

Sooooo much internal monologuing about her first boyfriend and how no one has made her feel like Jaxon does…

“The big picture is that the most popular boys in school are obsessed with you”

“He looks at you like it physically hurts him not to be touching you. Baby, if he wanted you anymore he’d spontaneously combust”

Macy wants the tea about her and Jaxon

She says flint and him had a “massive pissing contest over her” lmao

“Are you trying to be reassuring or scare me?” “yes”

She tells heather ttyf? Am i stupid??? What does that mean?

TALK TO YOU FOREVER?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?

“It sounds like every cliche in the book, but he’s different around you. Somehow less intense, but more intense.”

“You can trust me, we’re family” and grace almost starts crying :(

CH 23: never bring an ice cream scoop to a gunfight

Macy FINALLY comes clean re: flint and jaxon are mortal enemies

“What is this the breakfast club? Even they figured out they could all get along” grace just be quiet and let the girl who actually knows wtf is up at this school tell you wtf is up. You been wanting her to talk for so long, be quiet.

Ooh something big happened a year ago that made them all break up into factions

It’s about hudson jaxon’s brother!

Or is his name spelled Hyudsin because stupid spellings

Ooh macy warned grace not to become the chew toy between flint and jaxon

CH 24: waffles are the way to a girl’s everything

I want to hate this but i fucking love waffles so like…

Someone’s texting her about her ankle...i thought it was jaxon...AND IT IS!

“I don’t know the punchline to whatever knock knock joke you’re setting up” I BURST OUT LAUGHING BECAUSE “he’s funny over text” ma’am...this isn’t funny? Maybe a lil snarky, but funny?

Now she’s telling jokes over text and we’re having a whole long stupid text fucking exchange….i hate this so much

Then he tries, “what do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite” and my soul leaves my body because what in the 8th grade twilight fanfiction is happening…

She texts him brb instead of just responding when when she was done peeing and then he stops answering her, this used to happen to me with the toxic dudes i talked to in high school...am i reading too much into this? Idk yet

And then she’s spiraling about why he stopped texting and UGH I REMEMBER THIS FEELING!!!!!!!!!

Jaxon has food sent up to her room from the...cafeteria? Wtf…

He says he doesn’t like the food and she says “So what do you like to eat” and then is like “wow that sounded suggestive” lmao

And he says “i don’t think we’re there yet but let me know when we are” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

CH 25: truly madly deeply bitten

And we’re really just gonna keep texting 21 questions

She loves tatbilb...i mean same lana condor is the loml, but

Jaxon loves rogue one………

I don’t care AT ALL. NOT ONE BIT DO I CARE, TRACY WOLFF.

“I wish i could ask the real jaxon vega to please stand up” i rolled my eyes but i also giggled

“You suck” “you have no idea how much” i threw up in my mouth.

Niall horan reference, hozier reference, rhianna reference

JAXON’S. FAVORITE. SONG. IS. TRULY. MADLY. DEEPLY.

INSERT SNAPCHAT OF ME CRYING LAUGHING HERE

Gambino reference, beethoven reference???, and then brown-eyed girl which personally offends me because my mom used to sing that to me

This makes her hands shake

She plays brown eyed girl a bunch of times

Then another woman comes to deliver a package to grace...from jaxon...it’s a library book

It’s twilight

Insert snap of me screaming stfu here

Macy is laughing her ass off about this because she isn’t stupid, she knows what jaxon is

And grace says she never read it when it was popular all those years ago…

Baby you said you liked reading. No way did you survive middle school without reading it.

And then he shows up!!!!!

She makes a shitty joke to lighten to the mood

He’s massaging her hurt ankle...oh shiiii

They ALMOST kiss

He gives her a little note wrapped in a ribbon

“I wonder how i’m going to keep this beautiful, broken boy from cracking my already battered heart wide open”

Hades voice: we were so CLOSE!

CH 26: the uniform doesn’t make the woman, but it sure brings out the insecurities

He ripped a page out of anais nin’s journals that says some shit like “i dreamed you, i wished for you”

So cute sentiment but you ripped a book my dude? Cardinal sin

Grace is finally going to class

The cafeteria is goth as fuuuuck

The music is “creepy af”

Jaxon sits next to her in front of everyone

CH 27: 10 degree weather gives a whole new meaning to “the cool kid’s table”

He sits in the super ornate chair backwards and it makes her horny

The order is kind of ragging on jaxon about being cute to grace which is funny

We get all the dude’s names at one - raphael luca liam mickey?? I think

“A dark and devastating desperation” in his eyes

And then we got byron who’s more angsty than jaxon - “mad bad and dangerous to know” just like his namesake

CH 28: “to be or not to be is a question, not a pick-up line”

Jaxon walks her to class

Wanting him feels like opening a vein

“I love the way your hair smells”

“My heart is beating like a heavy metal drummer”

We were so close!!!!!!!!!

We’re doing hamlet in class ofc

The teacher says “although you look like the shy type despite your association with katmere’s most notorious student”

Instead of just saying the halls are like playing frogger she describes the old video game where you try to get the frog across the road...is it just people in the south that say playing frogger when describing crossing traffic? Or is this a well known phrase??

Apparently there’s hidden tunnels so flint takes her to them

Her intuition is like BITCH DON’T GO IN THE TUNNELS but she ignores it AGAIN

CH 29: with friends like these, everyone needs hard hats

There are beds with shackles?!?!?!?!

Leah shows up and turns out they’re going to the same class? But flint insists on walking her to class…

Leah and flint are NOT friendly

Damn she offends flint with a buffalo bill joke

There’s bones in the tunnels and a giant chandelier in the rotunda that’s also made of bones…

There’s an earthquake!

CH 30: you make the earth shake under my feet, and everywhere else too

And it stops as soon as they get out of the tunnel

Jaxon is there and being a dick to flint and grace has HAD it

CH 31: big girls don’t cry, unless they want to

Grace gets hit with a basketball in gym

All the order has been walking her to class because jaxon knew she was mad at him

Does jaxon cause the earthquakes somehow?

She finally reads the texts jaxon had sent and feels bad for being mad at him when he was just worried - no he acted like a dick. Be mad.

She’s making sooooo many excuses for his anger: the earthquake, the fact that he’s already rescued her before so of course he’s worried…

Aww a student is playing autumn leaves which was her dad’s favorite song :(

She starts to boo-hoo “grief is a wild thing within me”

Civil twilight AGAIN

Jaxon is standing there when she finally stops

CH 32: it’s not a coincidence that denali and denial use all the same letters

He opens the door in the alcove and it’s like a clubhouse? Oh it’s his dorm room???? Confusion

So it’s like the living room and NOW he’s leading her into his bedroom

She says she’s terrified of him touching her because of the intensity but then says she has no trepidations about doing or being anywhere with him...ya just said...nvm

They go out to the roof

CH 33: Madonna’s not the only one with a lucky star

Please decide if grace is a silly teen who doesn’t know what frogger is or an old soul who loves madonna pls

She asks if he’s an alien…

And she tells him he’s the hottest person ever and that his scar makes him sexy as hell and he's all like “me?!” which is a nice role reversal

This is his favorite place

And there's a meteor shower!!

CH 34: all’s fair in love and earthquakes

Thanks i hate this

When she touches him she realizes how cold he is and thinks it’s from being outside which makes him act all weird

Someone please just tell this girl what’s going on!!!!!!!!! I HATE when the reader is 8,000 steps ahead of the MC

“A craving in his eyes” WE’VE SAID THE TITLE FOLKS!

She makes the move to close the space and says she’s dazzled, GUYS

She’s making the MOVE! “Did you ever want something but you were scared of taking it?” “yes” “what did you do” “i took it anyway” and then he kisses her!!!!!!

The kiss is as soft as a snowflake, as delicate as the permafrost

Then “his mouth goes crazy on mine lips tongue teeth, it’s a cacophony of sensations, a riot of pleasure”

“My knees go weak at his tongue on mine, just like one of those heroines in a novel”

His hands are vices on my biceps...his hands were around her back at first which seems way more romantic than manhandling her arms??

There’s an earthquake...and jaxon is like you have to go

A window breaks and cuts her and then she blacks out????

CH 35: baked alaska is more than just a yummy dessert

Intimidating af is the nurse

The glass nicked her artery!!!!!! The FUCK. or did jaxon bite her?????

Her mom died like that… yikes on bikes

He fucking bit her...this is a lie...i’m calling it…

FINN ABOUT TO COME CLEAN!!!...but the nurse stops him.

Macy is an OG bff she is the best

Or is grace the one making shit happen??

Grace notices the sheets are fixed but that macy never went to the bed

Macy asked what they were doing when the earthquake hit...WHY

CH 36: no harm, all foul

Grace goes after Jaxon and he’s like “our kiss didn’t matter”

He says he put her in a lot of danger by being around her, a “target on her back” and wants her to stay away from him but he can’t pull himself away

But then he does

CH 37: don’t ask the question if you can’t handle the answer

Leah drops the bomb that she and Jaxon are expected to carry on like a family dynasty sitch since Hudson died

CH 38: nothing says “i like you” like a fang to the throat

She’s freaking out of course

Mickey says jaxon def didn’t bit her and she’s even more confused and me too

Jaxon is in the mountains...he wants her to wait but she’s pissed

“I take a deep breath and hold onto it with both hands” ….?????

Because i have to hear it out loud, “what did make these marks?”

Say it, out loud

CH 39: there’s never a hallucinogen around when you need one

She’s furious and she should be! I’m glad she’s not replying to Jaxon

We finally get to the bottom of it all!!!!!!

Macy admits Jaxon is a vampire

Leah is one too!!!!

Flint is a dragon!!!!! CALLED IT

He’s got fire? With a name like flint how could he not PUKE

“Who needs LSD when you go to monster high?” Shut UP

Macy is a witch DUH

“You should have been one too”

CH 40: be careful what you witch for

GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH THIS TITLE

Grace’s dad was a warlock but he lost his power when he fell for grace’s mom...oh no was their accident like a magical mafia hit??

“What kind of witch are you if you can’t do something an 11 year old can?” “the kind that doesn’t come from JK Rowling’s brilliant imagination”...THAT aged poorly…

“This is a less bloody version of game of thrones” shut UP

The school nurse bit her because jaxon used his vampire venom to heal her cut, and it worked too well so she needed to cut through the healed skin with her vampire teeth

Because this is twilight satire so of course they have venom…

“So vampires can just override each other’s venom?”

Most of the vamps would have had a hard time not draining you dry, but not jaxon

I absolutely called it: witches, vampires, dragons, and werewolves confirmed.

CH 41: Vampires dragon and werewolves, oh my

This physically hurts

She’s kind of categorizing the students now that she knows which is totally something i would do

God almighty is flint just a jacob clone…

CH 42: good thing pancakes aren’t on today’s menu

The chandelier is falling onto her and someone pushes her out of the way - it’s jaxon!

His eyes smolder at her

She dresses his cut on his head and his arm

“I wouldn’t have had to save you if you were in your room where i told you to be” he grinds the last part out through clenched teeth

He finally lays it out that someone has been getting her hurt on purpose

CH 43: what doesn’t kill you still scares the hell out of you

Her uncle wants to talk to her before she sees jaxon again and i smell an info dump coming

Dangerous af

“Macy told me she spilled all the tea” said her UNCLE with no hint of like “is that what you kids say these days”. GTFO

“I wait for the other shoe to drop even though 100 have already fallen” that’s not how that idiom works

She’s like “how could he think i wouldn’t figure it out i knew something was wrong” no ma’am! No you didn’t!! You kept shrugging it off until chapter 24 at the EARLIEST when you settled on aliens

Getting the tea on the turf war between dragons and vampires - so it’s not like twilight because it’s not the werewolves. Whatever.

Uncle says it was probably some witch who got too loose with her powers and grace is like yeah no absolutely no one is trying to kill me it was yet ANOTHER freak accident

Uncle wants to sent her back to cali

CH 44: Sweet home alaska

So she doesn’t wanna go because of jaxon, not because her only family in the world is in Alaska….

It’s only been a WEEK

“I know jaxon can be...seductive” says her UNCLE

the guys in the order are born vampires, not made, it’s a v big deal

Info dump city re how vampirism is a genetic mutation…

There are 6 ancient families of vampires...this all sounds like the first draft of my new wip where I was trying to figure out how the secret society worked…

Then he says he’s not in the habit of talking students with other students….we just did...this whole chapter…

Another earthquake???

Ch 45: I always knew there was fire between us, I just didn’t know it was your breath

Dude shut up

She goes to the library and wonders if the books about vampires etc would be under non fiction or biology lmao

The librarian is a native Alaskan with elemental magic….yikes

She does a weird eye swirling “you’re more than you think you are” thing to grace

Flints in the library and she asks him about dragons and I swear to god if we get a chapter devoted to learning about each species via info dump I will burn this place to the ground

He singes the marshmallow with his fire breath, loves it

And he can breathe ice? He cools the water down

He can bloom flowers in his hand????

“They’re beautiful” “you’re beautiful” “but I’m not hitting on you??”

Because when I hit on you, it’ll be because you want me to!!!!! We Stan flint!!!

Ch 46: I’ll get you and your little dog too

Enough

Dry throat around flint now, oh shiiiiiii

Oh shit the order is on the move!! There’s trouble

She chases them into a classroom and sees jaxon making shit fly everywhere with just his mind...is he a vampire and a witch??

There’s a werewolf vampire brawl

Damn jaxon can freeze everyone with his mind!

She tries to stop him but he’s put up a barrier

She breaks through!!!!

And jaxon bites cole!!!!!!! ALMOST KILLS COLE!!!!!!!!!!!

“This is your only warning”

CH 47: the first bite is the deepest

Jaxon pulls grace away, this whole time grace’s inner monologue is her feeling responsible for the carnage

“I won’t hurt you” “I know” “you know? do you have a death wish?”

But jaxon is so disgusted at himself that she's just like “well did he deserve to almost be killed?” She has accepted this shit with sociopathic speed

“The power you wield...it’s unfathomable” sis has turned the corner

“You don’t scare me jaxon”

They flipped the script and she breaks down his defenses and it’s kind of hot ngl

She tells him she needs him and he bites her??????

Ch 48: is that a wooden stake in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

They’re getting worse

But it’s not a hurting bite it’s like a sex bite…like she describes an orgasm basically..

Then they kiss

The earthquakes are jaxon! Called it

At this point I am sooooo annoyed because just make him a witch!!!! We really wanted the twilight combo so badly we made him a telekinetic earth-shaking vampire?????????

They go to his room...and she goes to his drum kit instead of his bed, you dumb bitch

Now they’re talking in the bed

The jokes are just so fucking bad

He cuts them off by pulling her on top of him and kissing her!!! In bed!!!! We ain’t in twilight no more henny

“The kiss curls my toes but the yank curls everything else” wut

“I don’t want you anywhere near that world, and I sure as hell don’t want that world anywhere near you” - someone. Anyone. Take a second pass

~~~