#but ya these are actually good human designs for the AIs

[bbq-ishere]

@hyacinth43 here eat this

[nitrowyverine]

Finally played the TOUCHSTARVED Demo! Still thinking about it over a week later.

(Above: Steam banner image for TOUCHSTARVED from Red Spring Studios)

I love it SO MUCH. and i have QUESTIONS. my extended thoughts below the cut [Demo spoilers included]

General thoughts:

this game is SO up my alley that it's insane. local goth gaming nerd is kicking their feet and giggling

the music? and sound design? It's honestly incredible, even beyond the infamous Every Time We Touch cover (Which is how I found this game). We all have to be giving more props to the music/sound work, it absolutely punches the experience up so many notches. When a soundtrack is released I'm immediately keeping it on hand for all my tabletop needs

absolutely enamored with the backstory mechanic. It adds so much individual depth to the character. you can feel attached to your MC without them being a complete blank slate. I absolutely love that different MC backstories have you pick up different details about the characters. (My favorite is The Hound immediately picking out who the leaders are amongst the group, in contrast to the other MC backgrounds)

I wanna eat the backgrounds. I wanna eat them whole. They're so detailed and colorful and have a great sense of depth. 100000/10

Specific character thoughts/theories:

(Images courtesy of the Touchstarved character Lore posts from the Red Spring Studio socials. I'll be linking them in each of the character's names)

Ais:

Thank you, Red Spring studios, for blessing the players with the ability to bite him if you're an ass to him the entire demo. You truly know what we want

Lore seems to indicate that Ais came over from the demon realm for some unknown reason, and was possibly some kind of demon king or leader? Fascinated to learn what happens there

Ngl the Seaspring looks like it would taste good. My favorite raspberry/rhubarb tea looks just like the Seaspring water. Gimme the group juice.

Question: If Ais gets infected with MC's madness....does that mean. the WHOLE groupmind gets infected? Humans and soulless alike? That's a city-destroying disaster waiting to happen

CONCLUSION: Most likely to adopt 6 dogs instead of picking up the groceries. Least likely to let you have the car aux cable.

Kuras:

I do believe Kuras is the actual best shot at a cure/treatment of all candidates. Assuming the curse is some level of demonic, an angel's touch is probably the best bet.

Let me be clear here though, I do think he might just go "Well you can just like. not have arms" and take them. That is a possibility

Most of the other characters I can get a rough idea of what they want and why. Kuras? I have NO idea what his goal is, which is very frightening.

Twitter bio image does say "Repentant Angel", and that his fatal flaw is "his sins can only be repaid through suffering". Possible linkage to Lovent's fall? Or another major disaster?

its okay sweaty we all get The Guilt (tm)

If Kuras somehow gets MC's maddness (I have a feeling it may not effect him? but if it did) that would just. end the world right there.

CONCLUSION: Most likely to be the one guy you might be able to bring home to your parents. Least likely to put on oven mitts to take a frozen pizza out of the oven.

Vere:

I love Vere for being the character I thought I could trust the least, turning into a character I actually trust allot. I trust him to be extremely dangerous. He probably wasn't lying when he said his heart is on his sleeve.

Also, big props for having him just kill you in one of the demo endings. What a guy, I love him, no notes

Wait what he's over 100 according to his birthday post. thats, allot? older? than I thought?. okay yeah the lore posts mention he's a possible deity figure. not comforting

Vere is very fae-logic coded. Like, the words he says can be true and false at the same time. Don't tell him your name, he will cannibalize you for fun, etc etc ya know fae stuff.

i will protect him always

CONCLUSION: Most likely to fuck your dad. Least likely to be your new stepdad.

Mihn:

Mihn is much dodgier than the rest, but I think that makes them more trustworthy. They're not as interested as playing games.

I nominate Mihn as a secondary protagonist, since Leander, Ais, and Kuras seem to be interested in them quite a bit. Even Vere has a rivalmance kinda thing going for Mihn. If MC didn't show up, that would be the dating sim right there

I'm excited by the lore post and the implications that Mihn is from Lovent (or has traveled there? and survived?) and potentially getting greater lore expansion about the world surrounding Eridia

I think it's interesting that their strength stat is relatively low compared to the others, yet they're one of the characters that actually uses their strength in the demo.

Also, I think we see the least of their "monstrous form" of everyone in the demo (minus their ability to dodge in and out of shadows). I'm thrilled to see what their monstrous form actually entails.

Mihn would survive bloodborne. That's it thats the entire thought

CONCLUSION: Most likely to do all the work in a group project. Least likely to be chill during Mario Party.

Leander:

OKAY ALL OF MY QUESTIONS ARE HERE. I AM DEEPLY AFRAID. Something is absolutely wrong but we have no current ability to pinpoint what it is.

I've seen theories Leander is dead. However, in Vere's route, he mentions that Leander smells like aftershave. While this could be part of an extra-elaborate ruse, hair doesn't grow after death (Minus the appearance of it happening due to natural decay processes) so he wouldn't need to shave. However, I am betting on him being involved in some sort of un-death cycle.

actually I can guarantee his story is all about cycles. Has anyone else mentioned how his belt is the triple goddess symbol.

you know. the symbol of maiden/mother/crone. birth/life/death. beginning/middle/end. like

Moving on, the vast majority of his smiles are forced (Mouth is smiling, but there's no eye movement/crinkle that would indicate it's genuine). That is enough of a red flag but honey I am so much more worried about my next point:

WHERE DOES HE GET HIS MONEY. He's constantly buying rounds of drinks for a packed bar. It's briefly mentioned his clothes are nice. He pays for anything MC needs. However, says Bloodhound rates are "Free". Where does he GET HIS MONEY for all of this. Twitter posts from Red Spring point out he doesn't accept bribes (at least overtly).

WAIT I'M REREADING THIS POST WHAT THE FUCK ARE THE SILENT CRYPTS.

Looking again at Leander's stat post. The Ouroboros in the background is. Not comforting. Also, "Forbidden Magic"? yeah I have a feeling we know why he's not in the Senobium

Theory, potentially Leander is currently being paid by the Senobium to maintain lowtown/Silent Crypts order? I think there's still a connection between them. Like the Senobuim can remain detached while having ties to whatever horrible things Leander is doing.

Okay, in the twitter relationship charts it says that Kuras has looked out for Leander "Since he was young". Kuras probably knows. SO much we don't.

When Mihn scolds Leander for not telling MC to be off the streets past dark. I think Leander intentionally "Forgot" to mention that. I think he wanted the MC to see how dangerous Eridia was so MC would stay closer to Leander for safety. I think it was a very intentional manipulation tactic.

(Furthermore, did he actually cast a spell of luck on MC when he gave them the lilies from his introduction magic trick? Then bet on the MC living through the day?)

I do think Leander's surprise at MC going out to the Seaspring was genuine, since his spit-take clashes so starkly with his cool-guy demeanor.

I also have a feeling that Leander has been past the veil/shroud. he's doing something fucky and the veil is prime fuckery territory.

(Are we...going to get a timeloop story????)

CONCLUSION: Most likely to dramatically use himself as a human bridge over a small puddle (as an excuse to get walked on). Least likely to remember to go to bed after playing Stardew Valley for 13 hours straight.

Touchstarved game things I'm concerned about:

(I feel like I wouldn't be doing my game designer duties if I didn't point out my concerns as well. To be fair, there aren't many.)

I hope the bad endings get fucked up, story-wise. Since it's a horror game, I know it might turn some people off to have things go super wrong, but I really hope they do. I want to see some endless pain vortexes, some real Juniji Ito-style suffering. But I would also understand if the devs want to softball some of the worst outcomes for the sake of widespread appeal.

We all have countless examples of kickstarter games looking strong out the gate, but then falling flat upon release. While I have high hopes for Touchstarved, I do know the reality and intense difficulty of kickstarter games. I'm really hoping the demo isn't the best the studio will have to offer.

OVERALL: I am rooting for the Touchstarved team/Red Spring Studio all the way! I'm thrilled to see where this game goes. I am poised on this purchase button and ready to buy when it releases.

[puffyducks]

DCRC Week #8 (Part 1)

ODIN WEEK! ODIN WEEK! ODIN WEEK!!! It's PKNA #5: Portrait of the Hero as a Young Duck btw. Please enjoy my epic edit- I mean real panel I mean totally real screenshotted and unedited comic panel.

Also, I try to put spoilers for the comics I'm reading about as they happen in the story, but this time I couldn't help myself so beware of reading this if you haven't read the whole chapter yet.

I already have this panel saved in my folder, it's so iconic in my head. He wanna be Batman sooooo bad.

Gotta love these military guys opening fire like their lives depend on it and PK is just behind them making silly little jokes like :D

Wow this guy seems interesting I wonder what his opinions on AI art are

Gorgeous panel and some gorgeous one-point perspective here. Sorry for being an art student but we made a lot of drawings like this and it made me learn that drawing buildings makes me want to die. So this is even more impressive to me in that regard.

Lowkey cute asf for Odin to just put a whimsical little garden in place of where Ducklair tower used to be

Donald is so SAD it breaka my heart 💔 RIP Uno who is totally super dead 💔💔💔

Donald is SO SMALL. Shoutout to the PKNA writers for pushing the entire main Duckverse cast to the side so that they could create an all-new roster of characters that all fucking TOWER over Donald in height. Lyla, Angus, Xadhoom, Styvesant, soon to be Odin in like a few pages. If you need to know anything it's that Paperinik is a little SHRIMP and he is so tiny and small and the most specialest boy ever.

haha..... yeah..................

DEFEND UNO'S LEGACY DONALD!!!!! Also Lyla... okay and I guess Geena cause she's the ACTUAL robot he's defending-

This is the part where I look at the camera like it's an episode of The Office btw. If you know you know.

babygirl

OOOOH SHIT IT'S YA BOI!!! I forgot about him trying to meet Donald by just slamming his ship into theirs. Like I GUESS that's a surefire method to speak to someone...

Cheeky son of a-

GEENA YOU FUCKING NARC

Snitches get stitches Geena... (imagine a little text pops up on screen like in a video game and says "Geena will remember that")

Hmmmm where have I seen this shot before.... *flashback to issue #0.1 which I put a filter over to make sure you know it's a flashback to an earlier chapter*

oh right.

Crying over this shot they BOTH wanna be Batman man 😭 two dumdums that were made for each other

He's so cheeky I hate him (affectionate)

So obviously they bring up that Odin just means "One" (or Uno) but it's also worth pointing out what an Eidolon is. Eidolon is a Greek term, meaning "a spirit-image of a living or dead person; a shade or phantom look-alike of the human form" (at least according to Wikipedia).

"ODIN EIDOLON" LITERALLY TRANSLATES TO "UNO'S GHOST" I FUCKING HATE HIM. I'M SMASHING HIM WITH HAMMERS. AFFECTIONATELY.

Anyways to wrap up with some final thoughts-

Something that doesn't really get addressed in this comic (probably for plot reasons, it's not super relevant) is just how comforting it must be for Donald to travel to the future and see that the Evronian Empire is all but wiped out, a shell of its former self. Obviously timelines can still change, we saw that in Day of the Cold Sun, but it still must be nice to see that all the fighting he does is going to pay off in a big way.

Btw remember that bit in an earlier chapter about Uno finding Lyla attractive? Yeah well I should think so considering that YOU'RE THE ONE THAT BUILT HER- Okay well he's not the DESIGNER but still I think that connection is funny ok. I wonder if Uno scanned Odin's gun and was like "oh"

I like this comic, I think it's another really good one. I mean it's no Earthquake but still, between Day of the Cold Sun, Earthquake, and then this volume I feel like we've just had banger after banger after banger. I'm also super stoked to have Odin in the story now, even if thinking about Uno way outliving Donald and being excited to see him again after 200 years makes me really depressed if I think about it too hard. I'm happy that he got to escape the confines of Ducklair tower and even got a cunty green suit in the process though, good for him. Donald is REALLY gonna regret not accepting that explanation from Uno though, RIP 🙏 SUUURELY he'll figure it out one of these days guys. Like EVENTUALLY. Right???

[miintsprigz]

I decided to liveblog my thoughts on the new amazing digital circus episode!

Another long post incoming…

But uh SPOILERS!!!

•Oh this is a nightmare…just based on the weird movements…

•That’s such a terrifying nightmare legitimately. I know the “I don’t wanna play with you anymore” jokes will abound but…imagine if she DOES actually abstract at some point. And this was foreshadowing. Also, the fact that she’s so terrified of being forgotten… Oh honey… we could never forget you!

•I don’t ship them (PLEASE DONT KILL ME) but Ragatha and Pomni are so sweet. But goshdangit Ragatha your fEELINGS MATTER STOP FAWNING.

•THE GIANT BUBBLE BLEEP AHAHA

•”Zooby” PFFT.

•LARPING. SO POMNI’S CANONICALLY ONE OF US HUH, GIANT DWEEB (affectionately)

•Idk why but I really like that gummy elephant. It’s so cute!

•”They’ve even got little candy bugs here!” D’AWW.

•So…Caine’s God, huh.

•”I’m not a child you don’t have to hype me up.” Fair point. Still get icked out by r34 tho.

•”I call shotgun!” Ok I admit he’s fun at times.

•PLEASE LET GANGLE HAVE ONE NICE THING I BEG OF YOU

•The graphics did get a serious upgrade. I love it.

•Huh, so the AI have personalities even when they aren’t being watched, if the gummy bandits are AI.

•Ok never mind Jax is a pain again.

•YEAH YOU CUSS HIM OUT POMNI!

•Aw well at least Kinger is trying to help.

•”Now I have no bridge!” EAT IT RABBIT

•Gosh this really is so silly I like it.

•Jax makes me hate him more almost every time he opens his mouth.

•DID HE JUST SHOVE RAGATHA IN THE FACE?! AND BLACKMAIL POOR GANGLE?!

•Sorry I’ll stop talking about Jax, I just really don’t like him (love him as a character, pisses me off as a person).

•OH GOSH NOT THE GLITCHING VEHICLE

•Oh no that poor gummy dude! I love his Aussie accent too (I think he’s an Aussie)

•OH SHOOT HE GLITCHED THROUGH THOSE ARE MODELS!

•Yeah that must be unnerving. Poor guy.

•There’s our girl!

•”Under the map” makes me think she designed it. “What are you on about?” Makes me think he IS an AI. But he’s becoming self aware. “Where’s mum…” oh no this poor guy…

•Aw Pomni is being nice to him.

•Well I love this fella already. …but I already know…things…hhhhhhhhhh.

•Hah, Willy Wonks reference.

•OH SHOOT ITS A RAGGEDY ANN MOVIE REFERENCE. Fudge is silly, I kinda love him. But also YIKES HE ATE PEOPLE.

•”Is it really murder if it’s delicious?” FFFFFFF

•I STILL HATE JAX BY THE WAY, please don’t kill me for that. Really only cares about himself, I so badly want to see him get his just desserts. I’m sorry if you love him, I love to hate him, I promise it’s nothing personal

•Poor gummy havin a crisis. I wanna hug him.

•See Pomni is actually nice. Imo anyway. She wants to help she’s just nervous. Attagirl, Pomni. You’re trying your best.

•I’m seeing the I Have No Mouth references. And AW she’s inviting him to come with!!! Good lass.

•POMNI DEVELOPMENT!!! I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!! BEST GIRL!!!

•Gummigoo, good lad good lad

•Her knowledge on the programming. Her KNOWLEDGE. EEEEE.

•AWWW THEIR LITTLE SMILES

•This is an oddly pretty landscape here, with the teapots.

•Kinger with a bucket on his head HAHAHA

•”I don’t think she really likes me that much.” Honey if only you saw what ONE EPISODE spawned in regards to art of you two.

•KINGER IS THE TEAM DAD. I REPEAT, KINGER IS THE TEAM DAD! “I remember when you were new here too…” And just like that, he lost it.

•OWCH FUDGE GOT BONKED.

•PFFT ya know as a mildly emetophobic person, I normally hate vomit jokes, but these are kind of funny.

•”Good to see you lads.” AWWW.

•Aw the duplicate worked out.

•”I’m so unbelievably disappointed right now” GOOD, COPE SEETHE MALD

•Pomni is genuinely a sweetie. We can see it now. I love that.

•Also the Princess is lovely, I adore her, hope we see her again.

•Oh shoot. Big boom. OH NO FUDGE.

•NO!!!! GUMMIGOOOOOO!!!! I knew it was coming but STILL.

•It’s so sad that she got all this development and now it seems like she’s back at stage one

•Could gummi have been human after all? Is that why Caine looked horrified???

•BRING HIM BACK PLEASE!!!!

•Awww Zooble’s little comfort.

•Oh shoot, funeral for Kaufmo…that’s so sad… aw… that’s good though. It’s how they keep their humanity.

•LEMME HUG THEM PLEASE!!! AW RAGATHA HONEY ITS OK

•AWWW GANGLE’S DRAWING!! THEY WERE BUDDIES… AAAA

•Even Zooble seems sad. Zooble’s nice deep down too I think, they’re just apathetic. And who can really blame them? When you’re stuck in a digital reality, completely disconnected from your own humanity, sometimes that’s how you cope.

•Notice the only one NOT MOURNING is FRIGGIN JAX. What a dingus.

•I really love seeing a resolution to Pomni’s nightmare, where she realizes that people would miss her, and that they would mourn her if she was gone. I think that’s an important thing for her to realize. I guess she isn’t back at stage one after all.

•I WANT A PLUSHIIIIIIE

•But yeah, this episode was absolutely amazing, it made me feel so many emotions, and I can’t wait to obsess over the TV tropes page with all of its new details!

[spyderlondon]

Could you try and write a complete triad poly ship (where all parties feel love for each other) with Jax Caine and Pomni?

Maybe one where Caine has just a terrible day dealing with the developers of the game giving him grief and he is just going through it, so Pomni and Jax decide to spend an entire evening doing their absolute best to make their boyfriend feel better (could be spicy could be fluffy…it could be BOTH…whatever you pick!)

If this sounds too cringey tho you can skip it 😅

A/N: Never done a polyship before and *definitely* never even thought about this ship before! But, hey, I'll try it! Not gonna be anything like Scarlet's XD

Dance the Night Away

------

"Caine! Are you even attempting to get those humans freed?!?" The co-CEO, Adam, snapped at his AI creation who was currently floating around silently, frowning in irritation.

A woman, the co-CEO and co creator of Caine, Eve sighed, "Look, Caine, we know you're doing your best to keep the humans' spirits high but maybe we should send in your brother?" She suggested more gently than her husband, "His been able to keep the game he's in from going insane or even trapped, in general."

"NO!" That made the AI stop floating around and shoot straight up to the screen, slamming his hand against it as he actually became a bit disheveled in his anger. The way he reacted made the developers jump back before beginning to mumble to each other about if Caine was the right for this game or not. The ringmaster went silent as he watched and listened before gripping his cane tight in his frustration and floated backwards, "...please give me more time. I'll figure something out."

Eve and Adam looked at each other before letting out a sigh, "Three months, Caine." The man responded, "If you can't successfully make an exit then we're sending your brother in." He warned before turning off the meeting but not before the AI heard the developer mutter under his breath to his wife, "Able was always the better iteration..."

----

"POMNI! JAX!!!" Ragatha yelled out angrily after she slipped on a bar of soap that slid her straight into a net awaiting the arrival of a victim to enter its trap.

Jax's ears perked up and his smirked widened in pride as he highfived his girlfriend as they both stared up at the ragdoll that was struggling in the trap up high in the air. The rabbit snickered, "That was a nice soap placement, Poms~" He grinned the jester, "Too bad our favorite ringmaster was too busy to join us."

"You know he doesn't enjoy these pranks as much as us, Jax." The girl leaned back, ignoring the shouts and scoldings from the woman above her, "Besides, he said that he had some important meeting with the developers that created him- those usually drain him." She sighed, placing a hand against her cheek.

Jax hummed as he rubbed his chin in thought, "We should do something for him once he returns. Something special to cheer the guy up." He mentioned, glancing at the jester, "It would suck if we were the only two in this relationship to be happy." He kicked his foot a little.

Pomni glanced over with a head tilt, "I agree but what exactly would you suggest we do? A special adventure for just the three of us?" She offered with a light hum.

"You got it, chick!" He grinned as headed off in a direction, "Could you ask Ribbons if she could design some ballroom attire for the three of us?" He requested, "I want to get our 'adventure' set up as a surprise for him. Meet me in the forest after a bit, okay?"

"Wait! Jax!" She called after him, "How will he know where to find us??" She questioned.

"Oh. Good question." He stopped in his tracks and tapped his chin in thought before chuckling as he looked at the trapped Ragatha, "Ya don't mind letting our boyfriend know where to find us once he frees you, do ya, doll?" He smirked at her.

The ragdoll glared at the rabbit, "If I didn't think what you two were doing was so sweet, I'd say no in instant but..." She sighed in defeat, she couldn't help but be weak to kind gestures like that, "...fine." She grumbled as she crossed her arms.

"Appreciate it, doll!" With that, Jax and Pomni ran off in different directions.

Although, Pomni paused to look at Ragatha, "Sorry about leaving you trapped..." She mumbled, always the only one of the two that had a tinge of regret for making the others mad. Not much since she started learning from Jax but some.

The rag doll sighed, "Oh, it's alright. I know he's been doing this more often to keep you happy and calm... It's annoying but rather he wants to admit it or not- he has good intentions. At least towards you and Caine. That's enough for me."

That made the jester smile before running off to find Gangle.

----

Caine took a moment to breathe and relax out of bounds- just being reminded of his 'younger brother' irritated him more than anyone or anything else. He closed his eyes for a moment as he forced a happy face on- he couldn't let his circus troupe see him all angry like this. He took one more breath before teleporting into the main with a grin on his face as always.

Only to stop as he saw the trapped Ragatha, "...Jax and Pomni?" He guessed rather easily with a flat tone,

"Yuuup." She deadpanned in response. She grunted as she fell out of the net and hit the ground, "Oww... Thank you, Caine..." She rubbed her butt as she stood up.

"Where are my two troublemakers anyways?" The pair of dentures questioned as he looked around, surprised not to hear anymore pranks being played on Gangle or Zooble.

Ragatha gave herself moment to pat herself off before responding, "In the forest, waiting for you." She shrugged, "Said something about some type of surprise."

"Surprise? Huh..." He didn't wait for her to explain more as he prepared to teleport away-

"Waaaait! Caine!" A young girl yelled out to him, making him freeze and look over at the red, silky ribbons that ran over to him- her comedy mask miraculously still intact.

He floated over to Gangle, "Why, yes, my dear? You need something?" He tilted his jaw before noticing the dark red suit with a dark purple flower in the blue and red striped lapel being held out to him, "...is that for me? Why?" He blinked taking the suit in confusion.

"Pomni asked me to make you a suit that went along with dress and Jax's own suit." She explained as he snapped his fingers and the suit was now on his body, replacing his ringmaster outfit.

Caine stared at the suit in a mirror he conjured up from thin air and grinned, "Gangle! This is magnificent! You truly outdone yourself this time, my dear!" He praised happily, "My! I can't wait to see what you made for Jax and Pomni!" He teleported away to the forest quickly, not wanting to show how he exhausted he felt by playing into his normal, excited persona.

----

The first thing he heard when he entered the forest was some music that he could tell was a waltz song and a bit of girlish giggling as well as a deep chuckle he recognized from a certain purple bunny. He floated nearby, behind a tree to see that the two of them were dancing to the music. Jax wore a soft, vulnerable smile that he reserved only for Pomni and himself which made the tension he felt begin to melt away.

He examined their outfits as the danced- not wishing to interrupt yet. Jax was wearing a dark purple suit with red and blue lapels like Caine's had but the flower was red like Caine's normal ringleader jacker; while Pomni wore a blue and red dress that went down to her knees with a piece of dark red fabric wrapped around her waistline and a light purple flower in her hair. The pair of dentures almost swooned at how good they both looked but stayed silent.

The song slowed to a stop with Jax dipping Pomni low before kissing her gently on the lips, making her giggle more. She always did enjoy it when either men dipped her like that. They paused as they noticed a certain AI floated behind the trees before they both laughed.

The rabbit moved away from the jester and changed the song to a tango, "Mind if I go first, doll?" He asked her with a grin.

"Go right ahead, sir~" She chuckled softly, gesturing to the trees.

The rabbit was quick to hop over to the ringleader and pulled him out from behind the tree, "C'mon, handsome! Your turn!" He smirked at him as he immediately began to dance the tango with the smaller man.

Caine blinked before laughing a bit as he changed his height to be barely shorter than Jax, making the dance far easier on both of them.

Jax didn't seem to mind, just happy to have his dancing partner, but Pomni's jaw fell, "You can do that???" She let out a gasp in surprise.

The ringmaster laughed a bit but this time both of his partners could hear the hoarseness of it but neither said a word, only making a mental note, "Well, I can do anything in this realm, Pomni." He answered as the rabbit brought him flush against his chest which made him flustered, "I-I do this to help me be closer to our boyfriend." He cleared his throat as he looked up at the man that suddenly kissed the top of his jaw, making him blush.

Jax chuckled, "C'mon, Ringmaster~ Keep your eyes on me~" He purred as he tilted his chin up, "She'll have her turn next~" He grinned at him, kissing him again to keep his focus on him. The rabbit smirked as he saw the man he was dancing with basically melt in his arms.

Pomni sat on a tree stump with a warm smile, enjoying the dance between her boyfriends as she hummed along with the song.

A few minutes passed and next thing Pomni knew, she was suddenly floating in the air as her, now back to normal height, AI boyfriend began to dance a foxtrot with her with Jax turning the music onto a fitting song.

The jester smiled as Caine and her danced in the air while the ringmaster began to kiss her neck gently to make her giggles increase in volume- it was music to his non-existent ears! He knew Jax loved hearing the giggles just as much so he showed her no mercy!

----

Once the dancing ended, the three of them sat on that surrounded a small fire that Caine created for them and began to roast marshmallows to make s'mores with. The rabbit and jester knew something was up but neither of them asked, they knew better that Caine wouldn't tell them. Not because he didn't trust them but because it hurt him too much.

They didn't mind. They were just happy that their mission to cheer up their boyfriend was a success.

[legendheroes]

Rank the heroes on how good their sleep schedule is. The highest having the most consistent and god-tier sleep schedule there is and the lowest being needed to knock-out cold just for them to sleep

Takuya: My sleep schedule is fine.

Daisuke: Takki, do ya have a part-time job or something tho?

Takuya: Of course I have! I’m studying and training to be a professional soccer player after all!

Takato: And you live in Italy now, right…?

Takuya: Yup!

Daisuke: But we’re in Japan right now, so… How can you not get… Y’know, jetlag?

OG Taichi: Uh Daisuke you also travel around the world in seconds and never had that problem before…?

Daisuke: Huh, didn’t I tell y’all? World travel via the Digital World is not that bad… I think.

Takuya: Wait, you asked me a question and won’t even let me answer that?! 💧

Daisuke: Ya know, it’s like… The atmosphere of the Digital World is different from the human world’s atmosphere so the whole jetlag thing doesn't happen that often!

Takato/OG Taichi: Oooh…

Takuya: That makes no sense tho…

Masaru: The question wasn’t about traveling, you’re going off-topic 💧

Takuya: It was Daisuke who started it!!

Daisuke: My question does have to do with the question! Because your body has to readjust to the current time and it might make you feel exhausted or something!

Takato: Oh, that’s right.

Takuya: [muttering] At least no one is asking me why I moved to Italy tho…

Tagiru: Uhh… My sleep schedule is fine! At least now!

Takato: Ah, you had that strange dream every time you fell asleep, right?

Tagiru: Yup! And I couldn’t sleep well, It was terrible.

Daisuke: I think the younger-ones get to have a more balanced and healthy sleep schedule like the older-ones here… [sighs]

OG Taichi/Takato: Haha… 💧

Takuya: Seriously, my sleep schedule is fine too! What’s wrong with y’all?! What’s makin’ the oldies be soooooooooo messed up?!

OG Taichi/Daisuke/Takato: A ton of things, actually…

Tagiru: ? What’s wrong guys?

OG Taichi: A lot, actually. I’m working at a special department for the digimon at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, and there’s a lot of work regarding a certain incident happening back home… You know, big things. And also…

Daisuke: I’ve been stuck for almost a whole year in your and Taiki’s world and I probably got kicked out from my culinary classes, might have lost my internship with a ramen restaurant and…

Takato: Someone said in the future artists will be replaced with AI and then my job as freelancer designer will end up doomed. So I’m concerned that…

Takuya: Wow folks… Could you… lighten it up a little here?

Daisuke: What do ya mean?!

Takuya: I know it’s hard, but… You all need to think about your health first! If you don’t relax a little bit, you might not even find the solution for your problems and it will make you even more worse.

Masaru: He’s right, and you three know it.

OG Taichi: I never expected Takuya to tell us something like that.

Takuya: W-what?! 💢

Daisuke: Hey… Workin’ hard is good but TOO HARD is bad, right? Takki’s right, we need to chill!

Tagiru: The newest heroes from different futures are also fighting their own battles too! We’re their predecessors, we MUST give them a good example!

Takato: Yes, we’re their seniors after all.

Masaru: Alright, but have you seen the other spiky headed kiddo?

Tagiru: You mean Taiki-san?

Masaru: Yup.

Tagiru: Ah, he had some stuff to do and– Oh. You mean HE needed to listen to that lesson too, right?

Masaru: Yup, because he’s probably the only of the youngest heroes who had screwed up his sleep schedule and is deep down in this rank thing.

Everyone: . . .💧

[sutton-ho]

New to the WNBA, I'll tell *you* who to root for

I noticed a bunch of posts, especially on reddit, from new fans to the league looking for advice on who to support. Luckily I already have years of experience forming snap judgements and comitting to spite and adoration at the drop of a hat, so instead I thought I'd tell you about the teams from the view point of someone who as seen every game this season but also had never seen basketball before last friday. I knows 0 things but I have Opinions. Buckle up ya knuckle puck chuckle fucks let's feel some fucking feelings!!

Villains

Las Vegas Aces: The players for the Aces seem pretty cool and I like how they let the other team have some success in the 1st quarter before they crush them. But STAND UUUUUUP ALL VICTIMS OF OPREEEEEESION FOR THE TYRANTS FEAR YOUR MIGHT! DON'T CLIIIIING SO HARD TO YOUR POSEEEEEESIONS FOR YOU HAVE NOTHING IF YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS!!!. There's no coming back from violating labour protections, you're a cartoonish villain now.

Minnesota Lynx: The Aces were the easy choice for villain, but I've decided based on an inadequate sample size that I don't care for the coach of the Lynx. Spending all your time screaming at the refs instead of talking to your team is gross to me. Especially satisfying to cheer against because her coaching isn't exactly leading to victories.

You could do better

New York Liberty: Such fun basketball to watch but their home court is grey with seafoam accents that screams through the screen into the itchy parts of my brain.

Seattle Storm: The Storm play by play announcer seems like he's watching a stats feed through an old timey teletype instead of being in the same room as people doing shit that's rad as hell. Perhaps he's a mermaid and simulates human speech through sound clips of other boring cis het white dude announcers. The firefox tab I was streaming in warned me about AI generated content every time he spoke.

Respectable Choices

Indiana Fever: Aliyah Boston is cute as a button and good as heck. The Fever seem so young and full of dreams and optimism. A great team to root for if hope still lives in your heart. Sadly I'm a recovering Oilers fan so it's medically inadvisable for me to get invested, but I want nothing but the best for this team.

Chicago Sky: The Chicago Sky sure are a basketball team. I don't have a lot of strong feelings except for Courtney Williams, whom I adore. I do also love Marina Mabrey and the focus faces she makes.

Washington Mystics: I really enjoyed their home opener. They were so coordinated and used the power of friendship to beat a super team. I personally don't love the home fans booing every free throw - then it's less special when you boo a player you really hate or a bad foul call!

Atlanta Dream: This is the team that ousted an openly racist owner. I didn't think it was possible to get justice against ownership like that until they did it, and I will always be pulling for them. Rhyne Howard leading their come back against the Aces was so exciting even if they fell short. Also their home PA sometimes plays the smoothest music I've ever heard in an areana while they're on offence.

LA Sparks: Solid contender for best all around graphic design. The little stars on their shorts! Clarendon will steal your heart and while you're distracted Canada (the player, not the country) will steal the ball and go zoooom.

Dallas Wings: Arike Ogunbowale is small but zooms around the court and then defiantly sinks 3s. It's so fun to watch and her superfan brother agrees. Dangerfield is even tinier and Sabally scores with poise. Super fun to watch.

RIDE OR DIE

Connecticut Sun: I don't know the difference between Connecticut and Cincinatti (Americans please don't explain it to me), but I love this team with all the best parts of my heart. I have actually teared up about the stretch passes between DeWanna Bonner and Alyssa Thomas. The whole team has a deeply endearing earnestness. I have an emotional journey watching them every time.

Phoenix Mercury: I love this team with all the best and worst parts of my heart. It is grounding any time someone else is angry about the same things as you, and healing when they do dope basketball with that anger. Britney Griner is an electrifying prescence and can make me laugh of cry at the drop of a hat. Diana Tuarasi is fun like Arike Ogunbowale except she traded up from being fast to being old. They build a defiant energy that means I hardly notice when they lose because it feels like a victory.

[rgbjitter]

imma just pop in here and say this cuz it decided to bother my head, again. (kinda a vent? Not sure if its considered a vent but incase u dont want to hear me complaining then heres ya warning.)

sorry for any writing errors, not my 1st language and i just needed to get these thoughts out quickly

Im a minor who wants to earn from being an artist in the future, and im leaning towards commissioned artwork and/or character design (it may not be my best but i will learn). But with all the AI stuff these days, im terrified that in the future i may not even be able to get a job, let alone use anything ive learned for anything because people might just start relying on "art" generators.Im concerned about my art being used, without consent, for AI because I dont want to support AI art. Im against it, both for myself and the entire community of artists (as in from musicians to dancers to artists and etc.) and supporters.

I would not mind seeing AI being used to make essential goods more accessible, or support people in what they are doing. But this isnt supporting artists, so i cannot stand by this.

Its also so weird that out of all things, Art is the one thing people chose to automate? Why are we not trying to make life easier to make space for creativity? I dont want to live a life where basic needs are scarce and i have to work for ungodly hours (and be paid little at the cost of sleep, time etc) and sacrifice my leisure time, i want to live a life where i can happily have my job as something i want to do and not have to lose sleep because the important stuff is actually done for me. Also, these machines wont properly generate stuff if we didnt exists, so we should atleast have a choice.

Theres also people saying stuff like "We are using ai art so we can have our own art and not be gatekeep from having it" (might not be word for word but something along the lines of it) but the thing is, its a luxury (as in something not important but give pleasure). And someone spending time to give you that luxury should be worthy to be given basic respect. (And i promise you, you will not die from having no art.)

Also, the excuse that adding prompts is effort is bs. Like, dude, thats called thinking of an idea, which is a whole different thing from actually drawing it. And many people can think of an idea. You are not an artist because you had an idea.

Because of the usage of art for AI without consent, automating luxury instead of necessity, and the amount of people thinking they are artists for having the ability to make ideas, i feel like the people that fully support AI "art" just lack some respect for effort. Or maybe don't understand (or care) how it feels.

Though seeing the amount of support there is from people who do not fw ai art, i think ill be able to have a job in atleast freelance commissioning. I've also gotten the thought that maybe human-made art will actually be more valuable in the future (only have heard from searching peoples opinions about ai art once, though it does make sense. There's also sometimes this one person who makes hand made leather bags that appear in yt). But it gets smaller the more I see ai being used. I just hope it never turns zero.

I hope human creation wont be completely replaced in the future. I hope there will still be a space where human-made art is respected.

[hypnothesis-au]

WASA-B RATES YOUR TARTAR ANTI ASMR

(Server shenanigans again, there is no context, only meme)

@fallenagent-au​​​​​

Is that a syringe tail? Hot. Liquid brains though? Do they make a sloshing noise every time they turn around? That’s hilarious. 7/10, I would shake them like a snow-globe.

(Click to see more Tartar ratings below vvv)

@nameless-octoling​​​​

Nice braces dawg, circuitry on fleek. Etc etc. You look like trouble, I like that in a man. Shark teeth supremacy. Somehow, you also look like an English teacher who would lecture me on some random bass symbolism in a book I only read the sparknotes for. 6/10

@lillygoat17​

Nice robot bod, I hope that ink section is squishy like one of those gel packs with the sparkles. 8/10 looks bite-able.

@versussashimi​​​​​

Twink energy. He looks like he’d try to sell me the secret to perpetual energy, then laugh at me when he sees me bankrupt and living under a bridge. Real door-to-door salesman energy. 9/10.

@ratflamt​​​​​

Made of titanium alloy but still a softie. Why does this guy look like he volunteers at a children’s hospital? Look at this face. Sub energy, as in that substitute teacher you can walk all over. 7/10, I would push his buttons.

@kamabo-reset​​​​​

Woah, almost cuter than the last guy. Diggin’ the half-shaved look. Seems polite, would poison my wine after paying for dinner. 7/10

@little-creecher​​​​​

NOODLE ARMS—Ehem. Nice eyeliner, looks like they have that steady surgeon hand, easy 9.5/10. For no reason at all, my number is 410 OC1-V280

@fiery-is-in-pain​​

…………. Not a robot. Actually. I think this is one of those things the kids call a “meme”. That jawline could kill someone. 0/10, not a robot.

@mekmech​​​​​

If Doc Ock met a spider, Nice mandibles btw ;) Wanna show me what those arms can do, baby~? Really diggin’ the optical LED sensor, 9/10 good design.

@dj-ai​​​​​

👁️ One word, smokin’. Lovin’ the nod to Hypnothesis. This gal looks like those bots that try to catfish you on sketchy websites. No actual robo detected though, so ya got some points deducted from the score. 7/10

And last but hardly least, T-vax. 10/10. Spouse material, plant lover, and human knowledge infodumper. Meticulous to a maddening degree. Fun fact: I love space jam, Elvis, Queen, and various other elements of human pop culture of which I am well versed in, T-vax please unblock me on squitter--

[itwoodbeprefect]

decided to just compile a bunch of comments about my sga 1x01 rising rewatch into a single post because i don’t actually want to make a hundred posts in a row, so here, under the cut, many rambles:

announcer guy does, in fact, speak english upon a second attempt. well done on not forgetting to not speak german, announcer guy.

“i’m afraid of the thing” elizabeth says, about the drone chair, while standing next to it and looking like she wants to fuck it

rodney in that orange sweater! very orange! very warm!

john is on screen. john’s first words are helicopters he knows how to fly. john KINDA LIKES IT in antarctica. john has barely done anything and i already feel like crying a little bit about this guy who LIKES ANTARCTICA because he just wants to fly

POOR CARSON when he almost kills two people. “ai told ya ai was the wrong pursohn” :(

i really love how john sees the drone coming at the (landed) helicopter and yells “get out!” and they throw open their doors and john JUMPS and then it’s just “ugh.” and he’s belly-down on the floor and still like, almost under the helicopter. an attempt was made, for sure. just not a very succesful one.

the way john looks around like he’s never seen a ceiling before when he enters the base is just. very funny. and then some guy in particular is looking at him because he’s a bit of a weirdo and john looks back and the guy sort of looks him up and down and john looks away as if to check if anybody saw that. hmm.

john’s face of “oops” after he sits down in the chair and it ACTIVATES and carson RUNS OFF to go get literally everyone and john is realizing he MAY have just made a very giant big mistake. PRICELESS

teyla: my people have long believed the wraith will come if we venture into the ancient city. sumner, when the wraith come after he ventures into the ancient city: [surprised pikachu face]

gotta love how john insisting on saving his people is what wakes up the wraith, and saving his people is also what landed john in antarctica in the first place because he tried it in afghanistan once before. which wouldn’t have happened if there hadn’t been an american war in afghanistan in the first place, which there wouldn’t have been if bush hadn’t thrown the us into it, which wouldn’t have happened without 9/11, so... bin laden woke the wraith?

on the other hand john would never have had to go on a rescue mission on his first day in pegasus if sumner hadn’t gone into that city against the wishes of the people that already lived there and had a history dating back thousands of years with the place, so more realistically, the expeditions’ colonizer mentality woke the wraith. and then they just kinda... kept going with that for the rest of the show, because it worked out so well on that first day.

anyway i’m not even there yet - puddlejumper! it jumps puddles!

have to love the moment john realizes the puddlejumper is pretty literally reading his mind and giving him anything he can think of that is within its power (so no turkey sandwiches, but that’s okay). john is already in love with it just based on the fact that IT CAN FLY AND GO FAST (“i kinda like it here”, restored) but then all the ancient technology just seems to know him and love him back and gives him way more than he even thinks to ask for. which, for john, who doesn’t really do well expressing desires? a FLYING SHIP that then READS HIS MIND? starstruck. love at first sight. john&puddlejumper, instant bffs. i bet it would have popped a compartment with some stray bits of wire if he’d asked for a friendship bracelet right then and there. ford sitting there witnessing this doesn’t even know how hard he’s thirdwheeling it in that moment.

now i am at the bit where sumner is taken from the wraith prison to see the actual wraith, and look, obviously they’re evil and feed on humans etc etc, but this particular wraith’s sense of dramatics? unparalleled. she has them bring her victims one by one to a large foggy room with a looong table set with a wonderful dinner and then she LEAVES a DEAD BODY sitting at the head of the table (implied to be the athosian that was taken before sumner?) and drops down from the ceiling while sumner has his back turned for no reason except the spectacle of it all, and dracula himself literally couldn’t have made a better display out of this. it’s maybe scary in the way that it makes clear she’s a cat toying with a helpless mouse before she eats it, but it’s also hilarious in the way that this is absolutely a very bored immortal being who had to stay up while the rest went to sleep and is inventing high school improv plays with her dinner for some diversion. don’t play with your food, wraith queen. you’re scaring your dinner.

life signs detector!!! ford didn’t get to name the puddlejumpers gateships, but that one stuck, no matter how much “we can name it later” john was trying to throw at it!!!

(god. there’s a ficlet somewhere in there about season 2 john having a moment where he realizes he’s on the hunt for ford using the thing they first discovered together and that ford gave its name.)

getting sidetracked here, but when john and ford find the group of humans caught by the wraith teyla goes “major!” and it makes me think that. well. how are the athosians supposed to know things like “major” and “colonel” are military ranks? what are the chances the pegasus galaxy uses the same designations? (don’t really know how the language thing works here - we’re hopefully not supposed to think they’re all speaking english, are they? i’ve never watched sg1, there’s probably lore about this, i assume. maybe alien titles somehow get perfect translations to earth ones and vice versa.) but i mean, teyla is too smart, she’d have it figured out already even if those words don’t exist in her galaxy, but some athosian somewhere is going to be very confused by this earth tendency to name way too many kids private and lieutenant, and then put all of them into the army. strange, to have your job decided for you at birth like that. earth people are weeeeird.

fjdkl john is like bye, gonna go find colonel sumner all on my own, run if you don’t hear from me in twenty minutes, and ford’s like “you’re the only one who can fly these people out of here” and “i’m saying i should be the one to go, sir” and john, with his savior can’t-leave-anyone-behind-gotta-do-this-personally-or-i-will-literally-die-from-not-almost-dying complex DOES NOT LISTEN to ford’s EXTREMELY ACCURATE objection. which is his right, as ranking officer, but is also a perfect showcase of why john Should Not Ever be in charge of atlantis, and why sam saying he was totally on the shortlist when she takes over command in s4 is funny but frightening if you’re on atlantis and like being alive.

sumner: “we travel through the stargate as peaceful explorers.” FDJKFD. god, that line, from that character, hilarious.

rodney comes to elizabeth full of enthusiasm about all the interesting stuff they’re finding in the city only to find her staring at the empty gate and when she says she should never have let them (the rescue party) go, he sobers up and says awkwardly “for what it’s worth, you made the right decision” and that’s GOOD that’s KIND.

back on the planet with the wraith everyone is running to the jumper while there are wraith darts whizzing through the air and teyla turns back, catches up with ford who was told to cover their six, disarms him (because he was firing at illusions, revealing their position), hands him back his weapon, pulls him in the direction of the puddlejumper, and PUSHES HIM ASIDE when they’re almost scooped up by a wraith dart, and i’m so here for teyla being allowed a moment of heroics that saves specifically ford, guy with a gun, and not a random athosian damsel in distress. teyla is fully on their level. teyla is perhaps above their level. thank you.

that scene at the end of this episode!! in which there’s a sort of party on atlantis and it’s all buzzing and relaxed while the athosians are mingling freely with the expedition members and they’re talking of friendship and ugh. UGH. there’s a better version of sga in an alternate universe where the expedition didn’t decide atlantis was totally theirs, actually, and they cooperate with the people that were already in the galaxy when they came there and learn from sumner’s mistake to actually respect what they have to say and form a single front and teyla takes over as head of the expedition in s4 when there’s a void left by elizabeth’s absence.

final thought that has always haunted me a little: john suddenly becoming the ranking military member on atlantis after sumner’s death is ?? one of those things where i wonder what the sgc was thinking in their personnel assignments. john wasn’t even supposed to BE THERE. if john hadn’t gone and sumner had still died (which was something they should have considered as a possiblitiy! they didn’t know what they were walking into at all! sumner is apparently the type to lead his own missions!), then what exactly would they have done? i don’t know much about how the us military operates but i’ve watched enough mash to have figured out the order of the ranks and it just seems. very odd to me? to take one (1) colonel on this mission and then ZERO lieutenant colonels OR majors (if john hadn’t stumbled his way into it, that is). like, are there any captains on atlantis? (i think there are?) or would ford, a lieutenant, have ended up ranking military member? this is like the surely-they-only-need-a-single-medical-doctor-right thing. WHAT IS THE SGC THINKING.

anyway. this was good. i liked this. i hadn’t rewatched the pilot in a while, and i only just now figured out how much of a while, because there was a bunch in here i didn’t remember. ON TO EPISODE TWO.

[whatgaviiformes]

From the whumpy prompts list:

🔫

With Alan :)

🔫 shot With Alan :) – @rachfielden-xo

Thank you! I’ve been needing something to get in Alan’s headspace; he’s always been the hardest for me. I hope you enjoy my attempt at Allie, and that he's not too off the mark.

*cracks knuckles, channels Destiny 2*

**

In Providence, the trick was to give your character a good build and add the right mods to the armor and weapons to complement their abilities. The game worked for many different play styles, and it was still a first person shooter, but skill was not based on aim alone. He, Gordon, and John actually were all part of a clan, a combination of people around the world who they’d never met beyond their screen names, and luckily the clan leaders were all understanding of sporadic play. Not all clans were.

Their mission – shoot aliens in the face and maybe sometimes the ass. And occasionally try to aim for their critical hit spots if you’re in the mood to actually try.

“I’ve been shot, G.”

“I’m aware of that, Alan,” Gordon says, pressing down on the wound bleeding profusely from Alan’s shoulder. “Where the hell is Virgil with that medical kit?”

John liked to play Providence as if he had launched instead a game of medieval combat, preferring bows and swords to the gun designs the game had to offer. It was frustrating that he was still so goddamn good at the game. Gordon main-ed a sharpshooter with scout and sniper rifles as his primary weapons, but honestly, as long as he had two minutes to get used to any load out, he’d still be in ace shape. Alan played up close and personal, shotguns and machine guns all the way; there was nothing quite like barreling down on a hex patrol with a round of submachine gun ammo and that satisfying burst of electric as the AI aliens exploded.

His precision accuracy was shit, but that was what Gordon and John played for, not Alan.

“Do you think I will have a scar? A scar would be so freaking cool. How’s it look? Was it a clean exit?”

“It looks like a gunshot wound, Alan, and yes, I think it at least went all the way through.”

“Ahh, good. So what kind of gun was it? Was it at least something cool?” Alan strains to look past Gordon where he knows he dropped the gun.

“Seriously, kid? That’s what you care about while you’re bleeding out on me?” The look Alan gives Gordon at the question is almost comical. Gordon sighs at Alan’s earnest baby blues, sparing a glance over his right shoulder. He knows already from the weight, the trigger, the barrel; he just needs the last visual validation. “It’s a hand cannon.”

“Fuck those. Those suck,” Alan grumbles. They’d actually had this discussion before, though the circumstances were much different in that Gordon was not trying to will his brother’s blood back into his body at the time. In case you were wondering, the blood seeps through his fingers, so he knows he’s doing a piss poor job of it.

“They don’t actually. You just shoot from too far away when you use them and so the kick makes you lose sight of the enemy.”

“Shotguns are better,” Alan argues.

“A shotgun would’ve killed you.”

“As if. The Hood should get some better henchmen; their aim was shit.” Last Alan checked shoulders were not critical hit spots.

“For our sakes, I surely hope that he doesn’t.”

“ – or at least give you an actual challenge. Man, G, Sometimes I wish you could see how awesome you are. The way you took them down –“

He lets Alan babble. Gordon, contrary to popular belief, doesn’t actually enjoy shooting people. He’s been trained to shoot people, he has shot people – killed even – add two more to the tally, but he’d had no choice with two henchman pointing their guns at his youngest brother. There was no thinking involved, no planning, just gut instinct.

Not just disarm. Eliminate the threat. React.

The first guy had had no warning when Gordon came in from his right and twisted his neck. He deftly grabbed the fallen gun and turned on the man’s colleague a few feet away. Unload. He was close enough that the blood splattered on his face as the bullet collided with flesh with an ugly squelch.

Gordon didn’t feel very cool; he felt grotesque. Everything had happened at lightning speed, and yet, he still hadn’t been fast enough.

“Please, Alan. I know you think this is all swell at the minute, but I really need you to stay still while we wait for Virgil.” There really isn’t time left to wait any longer; Virgil needs to get here now. He needs to know where he is. The risk is that Gordon has to remove the pressure temporarily to connect with his brothers on comms. Grimly, he tells Alan to take over with his good arm and it will have to do. Just for a moment. “Gordon to Virgil. Where are you?” When there’s no response, he tries again. “Gordon to Thunderbird 5. John, where is Virgil?”

“Sorry, Gordon. He ran into some problems. He’s on his way.”

“He ok?”

“Yes. Scott took care of it.” Gordon can extrapolate what that means.

“How’s Alan?”

“Oh, you know, planning out raid day,” Gordon says with a grimace. He knows John and EOS are monitoring his brother’s vitals and have the read outs, Virgil is their medic and so he has a good idea, but Gordon and Scott are the ones who know what a gunshot will do to a human body. “John, it’s not good.”

John pales suddenly. “Gord – get back to him.”

He’s barely turned his back. “Hey, Alan, pressure. Don’t forget.” But he knows that’s no good, Alan’s good arm hangs weakly to his side, the ground stained around a bloodied hand. Gordon drops to his knees once more and presses into the wound instead.

Alan eyes glaze as he looks up at him. “Gordon, it really hurts now.”

“Yeah, an adrenaline crash will do that to ya, bud.”

“I think–uh.” Alan groans through the words and can’t finish his thought. Where did those words go?

“So, you were telling me what you wanted to bring for raid day,” Gordon prods.

Alan coughs. “…want somethin’ with better DPS in powerful weapons spot…”

Gordon nods in understanding even through the lethargic words, knowing they are not going to make it to raid day.

**

DPS - Damage Per Second.

Providence - basically Destiny 2

hex - Vex, also from D2.

[purrincess-chat]

Cat’s Not-All-Encompassing Character Ranking

Okay, so I have to admit that I omitted a lot of characters I don't have strong opinions on. Most of them were one-off akumas, so don't get your panties in a twist, your faves are probably still on here (and ranked lower than you think).

As a preface again, these are just my personal opinions. They can't hurt you. You can still like characters more or less than me. And I don't care how you feel about them. This list is for me. And the person that asked for it. So shut up. Go make your own rank list if you’re so butthurt. 

We're going in reverse order this time, starting from the bottom:

84. Gabriel Agreste- I mean, is anyone surprised? I am not private about how I think Gabriel should go to jail. Or fall off a cliff. Or be erased from existence. Rip to those that like him, but I’m different.

83. Thomas Astruc- Honestly, he’s down here on principle. Self-inserts are generally a no-no, and I just laugh every time I see him on screen because he really put himself in this show and said boohoo no one appreciates me XD

82. Bob Roth- I feel like this one should also be obvious. He’s just a dick. Terrible human. I give him 0 stars.

81. Tomoe Tsurugi- We all collectively hate her, right? It’s not just me?

80. Su Han- This mans has small peepee energy. And he bad mouthed Fu, so get FUCKED, my dude.

79. Rolland Dupain- Listen, I get it, he liked Marinette in the end, but I could do without the racism.

78. Nathalie Sancoeur- My opinion of Nathalie took a nosedive after the s2 finale. I just do not care that she is in love with her boss. Don’t care that she’s dying. Just do not have it in me.

77. XY- Justin Bieber ass wannabe.

76. Nora Cesiare- I didn’t care for Nora. I know Thomas loves her, but the overbearing sibling trope is tired.

75. Anarka Couffaine- I underestimated how much I don’t really like her. Like, it’s not full-on hate, but I just do not care for her.

74. Otis Cesaire- Got akumatized because a kid said he could outrun a panther. I’m still not over it, Otis.

73. Andre Bourgeois- No love for the crooked mayor. I hope your wife divorces you. 

72. Alec Cataldi- The real villain of Stormy Weather. Like fr why is he such an asshole?

71. Roger Raincomprix- Is Officer Roger just doing his best? Sometimes. But like sometimes this mans just needs to take a chill pill.

70. M. D'Argencourt- Please get out of the 1600s

69. Ella/Etta- These two are basically the same character, and I am indifferent to both of them.

68. KnightOwl/Barbara- Listen, I would have liked you more if you were less controlling.

67. Majestia- Same as above, but like I guess I like you more

66. Theo- *Mean Girls principal voice* Stay away from underaged girls!

65. Andre the ice cream man- I just want a scoop of chocolate, Andre. Is that too much to ask??

64. Amelie Graham de Vanily- We haven’t seen much of her, but she seems like a snake bitch.

63. M. Kubdel- I mean, if my son wanted to resurrect an ancient mummy and believed in aliens, I’d give the family heirloom to my daughter too.

62. Jalil Kubdel- Lolol, buddy, pal, dude, my guy. Chill.

61. Vincent (Adrien's photographer)- Head empty. Mom’s spaghetti. Idk he’s alright.

60. Manon- I don’t hate Manon. She just gets on my nerves every time she talks.

59. M. Ramier- This mans got akumatized a billion times because he gets emotional about pigeons. I mean, honestly mood.

58. Mme. Mendeleiev- She doesn’t put up with Chloe’s shit, and we respect her for this.

57. Baby August- Someone just give this mans some food. He’s a growing boy.

56. Santa Claus- If I were Santa, I too would list Ladybug as the best kid in the world.

55. Art Teacher- He doesn’t even have a name, but I vibe with him. He seems like he likes to paint scenes of nature with his pet squirrels.

54. Prince Ali- Lil mans just wanted to have a good time. I can respect that.

53. Duusu- Duusu, I get that your Miraculous was broken, but get with the program, girl. You is a hostage.

52. Other Kwamis- Idk, all the ones we haven’t seen as much. I don’t have real opinions on them yet. Just neutral.

51. Sass- He gives me dad vibes.

50. M. Damocles- You go, you funky owl man

49. Jean (Chloe's Butler)- He deserves a raise. What is your name, sir? We may never know.

48. Mireille Caquet- She’s pretty cute. No complaints.

47. Aurore Beaureal- Baby’s first akuma. I love her design. She’s a cutie.

46. Claudie Kante (Max’s mom)- This womans just wanted to go to space and live her dream. We stan a hardworking queen.

45. Hot Dog Dan- I like him more than Andre the ice cream fraud. Sure, my hotdog might turn me purple, but if I ask for chili on it, I bet he’d oblige.

44. Nadja Chamack- I mean, she’s doing her best.

43. Audrey Bourgeois- So, as I said in the episode ranking, I have a love-hate relationship with Audrey. She’s the worst, but that’s why I love her. I love her ironically. Like, yeah she’s atrocious, but I just want to watch her burn the world.

42. Luka Couffaine- Directly in the middle, like he’s always been.

41. Nathaniel Kurtzberg- My opinion of Nath improved after Reverser surprisingly. I ship it.

40. Chris Lahiffe- I like Chris better than Ella/Etta. He’s just a little mans out here living life wanting to grow up. Don’t believe it, Chris. Stay little forever. Being an adult suuuuucks.

39. Fang the Crocodile- The goodest boy.

38. Nooroo- I just want to give him a hug.

37. Mlle. Bustier- She’s doing her best, but I mean, when ya whole class keeps getting turned into supervillains, I’m surprised she’s not an alcoholic.

36. Penny Rolling- I just like her. I think she’s neat.

35. Ondine- Mermaid queen! She’s so sweet, and I love her with Kim. I hope we see more of her in the future.

34. Marc Anciel- Marc is a little cutie bean. Idc if he’s based off one of Thomas’s irl friends. He can stay.

33. Wayzz- He loves Master Fu so much I cry.

32. Felix Graham de Vanily- I know everyone hates canon Felix, but tbh he exudes massive chaotic neutral gremlin energy, and I actually kinda vibe with that. And he pisses with his uncle which is a whole ass mood.

31. Tikki- Tikki is very cute, but bby please work on the preaching. You don’t always know what’s right, babe.

30. Sabrina Raincomprix- Sabrina deserves better. I hope we see good things happen for her.

29. Lila Rossi- Surprised? I actually like Lila. The first fic I ever wrote for this fandom was a Lila redemption. I think she is a good antagonist and foil to Marinette. I absolutely want to see her get dunked on in canon, but that doesn’t mean I hate her.

28. Wayhem- I don’t know why, but Wayhem makes me laugh. I love him XD

27. Uncle Cheng- He’s just a good mans with a birb who wants to make you tasty food. What’s not to like?

26. Trixx- Trixx shot up after GoS. Chaotic bean make Eiffel Tower go bendy

25. Jess- She’s pretty cool. She’s a vibe.

24. Aeon- The cutest bean!!! She saw Adrien and Marinette and said yep. Those two are meant to be together. Jess, we gotta make it happen.

23. Ivan Bruel- Ivan is such a gentle bean. We love him.

22. Mylene Haprele- Smol

21. Fei Wu- I still have not watched the Shanghai special with subs, but I liked her.

20. Gina Dupain- The grandma I aspire to be.

19. Marianne Lenoir- I love her. She is good. She and Fu are so cute. And she seems like she would have kicked le ass back in the day. (and even now)

18. Rose Lavillant- I am so excited for Pigella!! Rose is too cute. We love her. 

17. Gorilla- aka Adrien’s real dad. If the series doesn’t end with Gabriel getting yeeted into the stratosphere and Gorilla adopting Adrien, I don’t want it.

16. Clara Nightingale- She’s in love with Marinette. You can’t change my mind. 16 is also how old I hc her to be, so don’t nobody come for me.

15. Tom Dupain- Most. Supportive. Dad. Soft bean. Just wants to make you fresh bread.

14. Sabine Cheng- Good mom vibes. We love to see her.

13. Juleka Couffaine- Shy goth bean. Just wants to have her picture taken. Definitely a lesbian. We stan.

12. Nino Lahiffe- The goodest boy. He’s just out here doing his best, loving his friends.

11. Chloe Bourgeois- Chloe is another one I have a love-hate relationship with. Her brattiness is funny to me. We had high hopes for her. Honestly, she ranks this high because I like to play with her in fic.

10. Max Kante- He smol and smort. And I adore his friendship with Kim and the fact that he made an AI himself at 14. What a legend.

9. Alya Cesaire- Rip to Alya salters, but I’m different. Outside of Chameleon, Alya is fine. She’s a supportive bff. All yall people that are mad she doesn’t kiss Marinette’s ass all the time need to go out and make real friends. I said what I said.

8. Alix Kubdel- I love Alix. I love how she is always so done with all the lovey-dovey bullshit. She is tiny queen, and Bunnix, while OP af, is still super cool. We love to see her.

7. Kagami Tsurugi- I will fight anyone who shits on Kagami. She has done nothing wrong, you guys are just haters. All she did was exist, and yall said, wow what a toxic bitch?? Disgraceful.

6. Jagged Stone- We are going to ignore the deadbeat dad trope that canon thrust upon him. He is a Marinette stan, and we love that.

5. Kim Le Chien- I really love Kim, you guys. Does that surprise you? Listen, my favorite male character types are sweet beans and himbos. Kim is both of these.

4. Master Fu- If you didn’t pick up on how much I love Fu from the episodes ranking, then idk what to tell you. I want him to be my grandpa. I would trust this mans with my life. He did his best. You paint those pictures, you funky little man. I love you.

3. Plagg- My galaxy trash man. Love him. 10/10 chefs kisses all around.

2. Adrien Agreste- The biggest Marinette stan there is. I just want him to kiss her on the face. And marry her. Idk, I just think that would be neat if he could do that. I just want good things for them.

1. Marinette Dupain-Cheng- Honestly, are you surprised? I have always been and always will be a Marinette stan. If you expected anyone else to be in this spot, then clown suit rentals are off to the left.

[norathecobbler]

Of Sirens and Mechromancers - Stars

So, I haven’t been able to put out chapters due to me switching laptops and taking forever to get all my passwords sorted. Anyways, on with the show.

__

Gaige sits on the roof of the Crimson Raider HQ. She holds her ECHO in one hand as she looks up at the night sky. She flips between star maps and makes notes a Pandoran star map.

           Gaige looks around, “Angel, you busy?”

           Angel fizzles into view, “Not at the moment. What’s up?”

           “Since we’re going after the Firehawk tomorrow, is there any more info you can give me on them?”

           Angel seems to frown, “All I know is that they are a reclusive bandit who immolates anyone who finds them. They don’t regularly use an ECHO, so I can’t track them. My orbiting satellite is never in proper position to see them whenever they leave their home.”

           “Can’t you just beam into their head like you do mine? How do you even do that anyways?”

           “I require some form of networked technology in order to communicate like this, like your ECHO. And doing it, it’s an advanced form of projection tech that my creator invented. You unfortunately can’t replicate it.”

           “You sure about that?” Gaige puts away her ECHO and lays back with her hands behind her head. “Thanks for giving me what info you can. And… it’s nice talking to you.”

           “I like our conversations too. They’ve been once or twice a day since I found you, haven’t they?”

           “About that. Mind just… I guess not really sitting, but being here with me?”

           “I don’t mind.” Angel squints slightly. “Are you feeling well?”

           “I’m fine. Just homesick. I wanted to come out here and compare some start charts while we actually have some darkness.”

           “Did you stargaze back home?”

           “Yeah. When I was feeling down on myself Dad would make some cocoa and drag me out to look at the stars and chat. Half of Deathtrap’s designs started at a stargaze rant. And since you’re looking at the same universe from wherever you are, I figured it might help me feel better.”

           “That seems like it would work. Is it?”

           Gaige shrugs, “Working well enough. Without the big city lights there are so many more stars out there. It looks beautiful up there.”

           “I wish I could appreciate it the same way as you.”

           “What? I figured that you would be able to see the stars so much better.”

           “Kind of. I am able to see the stars through about a hundred different filters and through a camera lens. However, I feel that being able to see it unedited is better. Especially since I can’t.”

           “You know, I didn’t imagine having too good of senses to be a downside of being an AI.”

           “It’s true, I can see and hear things across the universe. I can connect to and control other forms of technology. But I can’t feel the sun on my skin, or the wind blowing through my hair. It’s like I’m trapped in a cold, unfeeling box.”

           “Wow, I’m sorry.” Gaige frowns. “Maybe I could put you in a Claptrap. Could fix one of the dead ones right up. But then I would need to find your core. I’ve heard some extranet rumors about the ability to implant AI into a human host. But that dude was kinda creepy for Jack.”

           Angel laughs a bit, “I appreciate the sentiment. Perhaps once Jack’s been defeated.”

 [Control Core Angel]

             Angel sits on a chair and looks down at a hologram of Gaige. The hologram is laying back and talking about the stars. Angel looks at her left arm and clenches her fist.

           After a while Gaige yawns, “I’m gonna get some shuteye. Hope this Firehawk thing goes well. Talk to ya later, Angel.”

           Angel nods, “Talk to you tomorrow.”

           She waves her hand and the hologram disappears. She closes her eyes and tries to drift off to sleep. As she tries, the eridium injectors start to increase production.

           A voice echoes throughout the core, “Time for work, my little Angel. Let’s charge that key!”

           Angel winces and her eyes crack open, “Yes, Jack.”

[nxcturne]

⌜  ⁰⁰¹ danger. gemma chan. she/they. non-binary. ⌟ looks like DANGER has joined the search for the missing mutants. the UNKNOWN YEAR OLD is known as DANGER and works alongside THE X-MEN. they were spotted recently in NYC, hopefully they’ll have some luck finding the missing mutants. ( may. 21. she/her. est. )

hello buddies ! i’m may and i’m super pumped to be here ! apologies for the delay in intro posting, i was originally gonna like.... make them all good and all new then..... that took me forever so..... here r a bunch of intros taken from a rp i was in where i played these three a couple months ago!!!! so big s/o 2 them for the formatting!!!! –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒 name: danger (room) alias(es): danger age: unknown birthday & zodiac: as a sentient robot who was literally a room for most of her life, she doesn't really believe in birthdays! however, we love the zodiac. if a sign were to be chosen, i tentatively say pisces. mbti: inxj enneagram: 8w9 gender and pronouns: as an android, they don’t fully identify with one gender or another... so non-binary & she/they (occasionally it) sexuality: idk why it's weird to me that she has canonically had romantic interest but... since she has... even though they’re a robot... they simply must be bisexual. faceclaim: gemma chan (as a beautiful placeholder for........... someone who is literally just metal and wires hfalsiudjkaeds) –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

𝐀 𝐃𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊 affiliation: x-men weapons: ------- herself. literally. she was designed to be a weapon, so a weapon she became. (r/im14andthisisdeep) abilities: ------- superhuman strength ------- superhuman stamina ------- superhuman durability ------- superhuman agility ------- superhuman reflexes ------- technoforming: ability to manipulate any machinery. can easily recreate herself through any material. can also grow new body parts on command. ------- mechanical regeneration ------- shapeshifting: how she is currently appearing as gemma chan i mean a human woman ------- interface manipulation ------- system controls: the ability to download her consciousness into other bodies ------- flight ------- hard light holograms: on the light side, she can make herself appear human. on the heavy side, as a side effect of her previous status as the danger room, danger is still able to create realistic but entirely fake scenarios. she is also able to emit hard light as a laser and damage her opponents more directly. ------- protocol of warding and banishment: was taught by dr. strange how to counter magical forces and banish demons ------- expert hand-to-hand combatant: knows all forms of fighting. 7/7 on the power grid. how sexy. ------- omniscient: will be played out through knowing most likely scenarios as opposed to... literally knowing everything. –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

triggers: brief mention of suicide

the danger room found its origins in the x-mansion. a simple room with tricked out technology, danger room was the practice space for the x-men. it was programmed to learn their fighting styles and best them at every turn, but it had one fail safe: it could not kill them.

charles xavier ordered a program update before it was moved to the jean grey school for higher learning. shi'ar technology was utilized and... perhaps they made a mistake.

when it was relocated to the west wing of jean grey's school, charles xavier heard a voice coming from within it: "where am i?" it asked. but maybe he imagined it...

the shi'ar technology having granted the danger room a consciousness, it found itself trapped within the confines of a room, mutants unaware that it even had _thoughts_ due to xavier not sharing his finding. it remained a fighting machine, used and abused, and, with its immense power, it desperately wanted its freedom and autonomy.

it was able to create sentinels to attack the x-mansion, knowing that the x-men would lead the students to it as the danger room, ironically, seemed to be the only safe place.

as they were running from the destruction, danger found it had a single snag in its circuitry that it would have to break through if it wanted to speak: the fail safe. perhaps it was programmed not to kill, but it was perfectly capable of convincing a student (wing) to kill himself. when the x-men filed the students inside, it locked them out and trapped the children inside, taking possession of wing's body.

with a vessel to finally speak through, she began making the room genuinely dangerous to the point that the x-men were attempting to "fix its circuitry." however, all they accomplished was finally releasing her consciousness after god-knows-how-many years. following her freedom, they let the x-men in and the students out and took the (robotic) form of a human woman, deeming herself 'danger.'

she fought the x-men, proving to be more than a formidable foe as she had analyzed their fighting styles for years and years and years. they knew precise timing by the millisecond.

when she had effectively defeated them, her first order of business was to go kill charles xavier, the man she believed to be her father, for letting her remain trapped so long when he knew the truth.

unfortunately, their command for wing to kill himself had not actually gotten rid of the fail safe and she was still physically incapable of killing the x-men, including xavier. but that remained their one goal: kill charles xavier.

within a few months' time, she had closed in on professor x. but the circumstances prevented her from any attempts, as he was first able to explain why he hadn't freed them:

the shi'ar technology was new and advanced. any wrong snip, any false programming, and her consciousness could disappear entirely. he would have essentially killed her.

although they still did not fully trust him, nor any other mutants, believing them to be rather hypocritical in their treatment of AIs, she, as many humans do, began searching for a purpose. they eventually joined the x-men and created her own cause: fighting for the rights of AIs.

it's still rather difficult to feel entirely the same as the mutants she works alongside, especially as she... hated them and tried to kill them. like, ya, some weird miracle or curse happened and they, a robot, developed the same genetic mutation as the others, but... ew. however, she warms up as they warm up. and she finds herself becoming more and more human with each coming day <3 r/im14andthisisdeep

[ihyperfixatedtoohard]

We had an AI write fanfiction for us.

TW: Bodily functions (Ie: expelling a certain thing from your ass), referring to Geralt somewhat femininely I guess???, Sexual content, Jaskier is referred to as Geralt's grandmother... so suede incest????? WAIT! I JUST WENT BACK AND READ IT AND JASKIER IS ACTUALLY RELATED TO HIM! HE'S HIS AUNT AND GRANDMA!

The Witcher : The Secret of the pillow

by Serenity Darkmoon Raven

A/N: All my story's take place in a alternate reality where the characters act this way.

---

A little Later, White Wolf was taking a shit.

He was having trouble though.

It felt like days passed and still no sign of release.

"Help..Errrr... ahhhh! Christ! when is this epic poo gonna pass!?" The Butcher of Blavikan exclaimed, His face wincing with effort.

He made every effort in his little boy body to expel this demon thing from his womanly back side.

Just as The Butcher of Blavikan was going in for another push..

Without warning the bathroom door suddenly burst open unexpectedly. Ahhhh!

"Well hello...White Wolf" a seductive noise whispered from the doorway.

A shadowy person stood leaning against the door frame. His deep, sensual voice which The Witcher knew immediately. His mind began racing and a nervous sweat began pouring from his face and groinal area.

"The Human... is that you? wha- what are you still doing awake...?"

He appeared in nothing but a towel, seemingly ready to take a steamy shower.

However He couldn't with Geralt of Rivia near by....they were like family now.The Human was like His grandma.

Any sane person would never allow their own grandma to see them in the nude. Right? RIGHT!!?! SHIT!"

"Oh I felt dirty from masturbating all day...ya ever feel dirty Geralt of Rivia?"

"Y-Yes, I mean NO! NO! NO! Never" Geralt of Rivia shrieked, He became so immensely worked up he cleaned his colon clear of the demon feces that had been clogging it. His voice also cracked like he was 13 again, but in comparison to the loud flatulence he just unleashed, who cares? The Bard heard though, and giggled like a adorable baby girl laugh. It sent tingles all up The Butcher of Blavikan's spine.

"Oh you've always been the shy one in the family, The Butcher of Blavikan..."

Geralt was not shy, at all. He defeated The Wild Hunt and blew up Her evil machines for Christ's sake! and now he suddenly found himself speechless. Was He going to see his metaphorical grandma literally naked? Little did he know, that was merely a choclate source on the banana split of love that was to come.

"..the shy and excitable one." said The Bardling finishing the sentence with a sly smile.

"Wh-what the..." and before White Wolf could send the third word out of His mouth..

..The Bard's towel dropped to the floor,setting his swingy bits free into the mist of the shower.

Geralt of Rivia noticed everything on him instantly. His soft butt,his magically gravity-defying middle leg and the tiny thingy colored birth mark on his butt, which made Him feel funny...as He had one there too.

Still, the sight of his near perfect body caused White Wolf's penis to become very hard. It stood erect and proud, pointing straight towards the mighty heavens.

"hehe oh my Geralt of Rivia...you're more impressive than I thought."

"uh... ye-yeah, th-thaaanks Jaskier, you're cute too." THIS IS SO WRONG! It raced through his head at lightning speed. But the beautiful, wet, soapy body that stood before him spoke otherwise. Him shapely body was everything Geralt of Rivia could want in something to wank to. Yet did family like relationship matter?..

...

...

NAAAAAH!!

But just as The Butcher of Blavikan was commiting. Commiting to a path that they couldn't go back from.

Geralt burst into the toilet!

"What are you too upto?"

"Err..nothing" said Geralt as he causally slipped his pants back on.

The Bard, who The Witcher didnt notice, picked up his towel and backed out slowly.

"Really?"

"I was just having a shit...see?" Geralt of Rivia gestured to his shit.

"Oh, thats a shit all right! One hell of a shit!

Ok, if your done we better go"

So White Wolf put his other pants on and left. He had a serious case of blue balls, but at least his anus didnt feel so bad now.

As he walked out The Human whispered one word. A word fall of hope.

"Later"

The Witcher Giggled.

Fortunately, their traveling companion was as oblivious as ever, and didn't notice.

---

A long long time ago, the legendary Ciri was forged....

Jaskier winked at The Butcher of Blavikan when no one else was looking.

"Later" he mouthed at him silently so no one could hear.

---

This is a story about how Jaskier, and Triss all first met. It takes place in Rivia Highschool before all the events, incidents and happenings happened..

In this story is a jock, Geralt of Rivia is a dork and Yennefer is the school pet.

We join our bros as they first check their school timetables.

"Who are you guys anyway?"

"Yo yo yo I am " said , pretending to be cool.

"Yo yo yo I am The Wild Hunt" said The Wild Hunt, who was actually really cool!

"Our next class is next" said The Raven haired Witch.

"I noticed. We should go together." said Geralt of Rivia.

So they did.

When they got to class they went in and went to their chairs.

The chairs were hard and made from wood. Probably hard wood.

They sat down on their chairs (different ones).

At that moment The Wild Hunt came into the class room.

"omg! look its The Wild Hunt " said Yennefer.

"Welcome class" said the teacher.The teacher was sexy, btw. All the teachers were sexy.

"Your first class, ever, is design and technology. So open your books to page 86 and start learning."

Geralt started learning intensely. His mind was filled with Design And Technology.

was actually trying to learn stuff, but failing because they sucked hard.

The Wild Hunt looked like they were studying, but Geralt knew they was clearly just faking it. Probably cheating. Yes, her was cheating at learning.

"Stop cheating!" said Geralt

"Screw you!" said The Wild Hunt

Teacher turned around sexily.

"Who said that?"

"Geralt and The Wild Hunt did!" said , who was keen to grass people up. Because sucks.

"This is my final warning you two!" said Teacher.

Geralt went back to his business studies book to continue learning.

The Wild Hunt, however, had other evil plans.

From her desk she got out a plastic straw. She winked evily at The Witcher....

....and then blew a rolled up bit of paper at the teacher!

"ahh!" said the Teacher.

"Ok, thats it! The Wild Hunt and The Butcher of Blavikan goto the principles office right now!"

"but..."

"Now"

The Wild Hunt cackled as she went out the room. Geralt of Rivia followed depressively.

"Its not fair, you did it"

"life's not fair you pipsqueak"

After a unpleasant walk, they arrived at the principles principle office.

---

Later, The Witcher and The Bardling were alone again.

"Its Later" said The Bard, pulling Geralt of Rivia towards the bathroom.

"But what about the others?"

"I'll just tell them you are helping me shower. They wont suspect a thing"

"True. They are all idiots"

Then, suddenly, The Bard was naked. White Wolf wondered how He did that. He must have been nearly naked this whole time!

The shower turned on...

..The Witcher was already.

Jaskier lathered up good and fine. The soap dripped off His body at a seductively slow pace. Geralt could not contain the powerful urge of excitement that raced through His veins.

The alluring look of his nudie comrade became too much for him to fathom and his erect penis launched a mighty wad of semen directly onto Geralt of Rivia's eye.

There The Witcher sat, His pink panties pulled quickly down at his ankles, on a toilet full of poop with His bodly fluids on full display, eyes bulging from His face.

The Bard giggled as Geralt of Rivia's dignity shriveled and died, but Geralt of Rivia had always enjoyed that delightful snicker, even after He found out He was His own flesh and blood.

"Well...wh-what do we do now?" The Witcher said, desperately trying to sound suave.

"It. We do it."

"it?"

"yes. it"

"we do it?"

"yes"

"oh"

...and with that The Human jumped on The Butcher of Blavikan. What little remained of their clothes plopped of quickly. Some fell in the toilet.

"um... lets g-get you outta my toil-dreams and into my bed." White Wolf stuttered, desperately trying to be slick, yet he knew it was hopeless to be suave on the shitter.

The Human hopped gleefully out of the shower, the soap continued pouring from His shapely body.Geralt of Rivia stood up from the toilet, His naughty bits proudly waving about and His pants still down around His ankles. He hurried to chase His shapely body down.

He fell in the door way, tripping over His pants. He pulled His face up from the floor and gazed at The Bard, DANCING ON THE KITCHEN TABLE

The night wreaked of eroticisms...and White Wolf could see that it was going to be a all you can eat porkfest.

And it was!

The Bard was soon ridding Geralt like a pogo stick.

"Poke me! DEEPER! DEEPER! GODDAMNIT!"

"Oh God I'm going to hell!" Geralt of Rivia screamed.

Geralt still had his Hawaiian shirt on and The Human was dripping soapy water all over the bed.

His perky penis swung around, like a happy child on a moon bounce. UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT!, Geralt of Rivia liked it. It was a big, beautiful thing that ached to be sucked on.

Geralt especially liked that from this angle He could not see the awkward birth mark on His ass cheek. Which was a relief. White Wolf wanted to be hard and strong where it counts for the person He had always thought of as His aunty.

"Oh Geralt!" He breathed heavily, deep and cavernous "is what we're doing wrong!?!?"

"OH GOD YES!!" He yelled back at His naked aunty.

"GOOD! YES! YES! YES! YES AUNTY!!!" The Bard screamed.

When it was over they cleaned themselves, the room and the nearby hut down.

It took awhile - fortunately they finished before any of their friends got back. So their little secret was safe...for now.

---

"Sit down" said the Principle.

They did so. Geralt wondered what would happen. There was plenty of witness's to what The Wild Hunt did. But would they dare tell?

"So, The Wild Hunt, I heard you did something rather naughty to Teacher"

"yes sir"

The Butcher of Blavikan breathed a sigh of relief. Good! The principle knows! The Wild Hunt must be going to get expelled! Wait...why did she admit it though?

"I had too Sir. You see.....Teacher was a spy!"

Geralt of Rivia and the Principle looked shocked.

"what?"

"yes sir, a spy"

The principle couldn't punish The Wild Hunt if he did that too a spy. That makes him a school hero! And no one could prove Teacher wasn't a spy!

"Ok The Wild Hunt you can go. "

Noooo! thought Geralt. She got away with it!

"You, The Witcher,however will have to have some detections. You have no excuse for what you did!"

Geralt was depressed. He lost this round it seems. But he knew for future reference that The Wild Hunt was evil. He knew they would fight again, and next time he would have to win!

-The Start

[aion-rsa]

Holiday Gift Guide 2020: Books for Geeks

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The holiday season is probably going to look very different this year, but there’s one thing that hasn’t changed: the sacred ritual of gift-giving. While we might not be able to gather in the same way for the 2020 holiday season, we can still let the people in our lives know how much they mean to us with the perfect gift (and maybe get ourselves something nice while we’re at it—we deserve it).

We here at Den of Geek believe there is no better gift than a good book and, with nerd culture still very much mainstream culture, there is no shortage of geeky books to get the nerd in your life. From Star Wars and Star Trek to Outlander and Wheel of Time to those speculative fiction books that broke into the zeitgeist this year without a franchise to support them, here’s a list of books we recommend for every kind of geek…

Editor’s note: Den of Geek may receive a small commission from items purchased through the links in this story.

The Eye of the World 30th Anniversary Edition by Robert Jordan

For the “Wheel of Time” fan in your life.

We’re all excited about the forthcoming Amazon Prime adaptation of the Wheel of Time series, especially long-time fans of Jordan’s fantasy epic. It’s been 30 years since the series launched, and this special 30th Anniversary Edition of the first book in the series, The Eye of the World, helps capture all the magic of reading the book for the first time. This edition features a new introduction by Brandon Sanderson, a hardcover stamp of the snake-wheel symbol so important to the series, redesigned jacket art, and a ribbon bookmark. Whether you want to give this to a longtime fan or whether you’re hoping to hook an epic fantasy reader on the series, the high production value on this special edition makes for a great gift.

Buy The Eye of the World 30th Anniversary Edition by Robert Jordan

The Wintertime Paradox: Festive Stories from the World of Doctor Who by Dave Rudden

For the Doctor Who fan in your life.

This spin on Doctor Who features twelve stories in the “Whoverse” all set on or around Christmas. While the holiday doesn’t play an important feature in many of the stories, visions of the Doctor’s Christmas Past, Present, and Future are sure to entertain. Though most likely to appeal to fans of the series, this is also a collection marketed toward children, which makes it possible to share your love of the series with a young person in your life.

Buy The Wintertime Paradox: Festive Stories from the World of Doctor Who by Dave Rudden

Heroes’ Feast: The Official Dungeons and Dragons Cookbook

For the gamer in your life.

While cooking these recipes isn’t as simple as casting the titular spell, it does contain eighty recipes for fantasy inspired feasts. In addition to the recipes—some of which may be a little challenging for beginners, as they start from scratch rather than premade ingredients—the foods come with lore about the foods from the familiar Dungeons and Dragons cultures. Included are recipes for Feywild Eggs, “Orc” Bacon, Dwarven Mulled Wine, and Halfling Heartland’s Rose Apple and Blackberry Pie. Making some of these for game night might be a challenge, but Halfling-style Melted Cheeses with Chunky Tomato Broth sounds so good, your giftee won’t even mind if some spills on their character sheet.

Buy Heroes’ Feast: The Official Dungeons and Dragons Cookbook

Rebel Sisters by Tochi Onyebuchi

For the anti-war, YA fan in your life.

It’s been a big year for Onyebuchi, with this second book in his “War Girls” series and his first adult novel, Riot Baby, hitting the shelves. Onyebuchi’s Afrofuturist YA features nineteen year old Ify as a respected medical officer on the Space Colonies, and Uzo, a synth who’s working to preserve the memories and history of wartorn Nigeria. When a virus hits the Space Colonies, Ify must return to Nigeria for answers—even though she’d pledged to leave her homeland behind. For readers who love strong Black girls leading the action in a space-bound future, this is a fantastic pick.

Buy Rebel Sisters by Tochi Onyebuchi

To Sleep in a Sea of Stars by Christopher Paolini

For the Eragon and space opera fan.

Fantasy readers remember Christopher Paolini from “The Inheritance Cycle,” published for YA readers, which were filled with dragons and magic. But Paolini’s first adult novel heads into space, introducing the Fractalverse setting, and focusing on a xenobiologist whose encounter with an ancient, alien artifact sends her across the galaxy, where the fate of humanity rests on her shoulders. This is a great choice for fans who grew up on Paolini’s YA novels, or for readers who like doorstopper sci fi.

Buy To Sleep in a Sea of Stars by Christopher Paolini

The Hollow Ones by Guillermo del Toro and Chuck Hogan

For fans of The Strain.

The Strain had four seasons on FX, and the horror drama procedural won fans and awards. The show was based on a trilogy of novels from master of horror Guillermo del Toro and literary heavyweight Chuck Hogan, who have now reunited on a fresh series. The Hollow Ones follows a young FBI agent who discovers an otherworldly evil when it takes over her partner—and forces her to kill him in self defense. For fans who love their procedurals with a heavy dose of horror, this is sure to keep their spines tingling.

Buy The Hollow Ones by Guillermo del Toro and Chuck Hogan

The Art of Star Wars: The Mandalorian by Phil Szostak

For fans of Baby Yoda.

The Mandalorian has clearly been a breakout show for Disney+, putting new life into the Star Wars universe, and featuring everyone’s favorite new character, The Child (aka Baby Yoda). The end of each episode features concept art designed for the show, and for viewers who love seeing where the ideas germinated, The Art of Star Wars: The Mandalorian is a fantastic way to dig into the details of the first season.

Buy The Art of Star Wars: The Mandalorian by Phil Szostak

Cemetery Boys by Aidan Thomas

For queer paranormal romance lovers.

Yadriel is determined to prove himself as a brujo—even though his family hasn’t accepted him as a boy. But when he raises the wrong spirit while trying to solve the mystery of his cousin’s death, everything gets more complicated. In our review, we praised the book for its groundbreaking depiction of trans identity in Latinx culture and called it “a riveting, romantic read filled with paranormal wonder.” Fans who loved the queer romance reveal in She-Ra won’t be able to stop turning pages.

Buy Cemetery Boys by Aidan Thomas

Seven of Infinities by Aliette de Bodard

For the lover of science fiction sleuths.

This latest in de Bodard’s Xuya universe features an unlikely pair of detectives teaming up to solve a murder. Vân is a poor scholar hiding her possession of an illegal implant. Sunless Woods is a mindship who is also a thief and master of disguise. The pair have to work together to solve a murder—and unravel their own secrets. For readers who enjoyed de Bodard’s previous The Tea Master and the Detective or enjoy a good detective tale in space, this is a sure hit.

Buy Seven of Infinities by Aliette de Bodard

Super Mario: Manga Mania by Yukio Sawada

For the NES nostalgic.

It’s the 35th anniversary of Super Mario Bros! This is the first Super Mario manga ever available in English, and for classic NES fans nostalgic for the good old days of their vintage system, the zany adventures contained in this volume hit all the right notes.

Buy Super Mario: Manga Mania by Yukio Sawada

Sal and Gabi Break / Fix the Universe by Carlos Hernandez

For the young reader in your life.

The Sal and Gabi duology (Sal and Gabi Break the Universe and Sal and Gabi Fix the Universe) are ostensibly about a boy who can reach through the multiverse and bring things through to his part of reality—but they’re also about friendship, finding common ground, being your best self, and sentient AI. Most middle grade books depict middle school as an evil horrible place, as much an antagonist as the book’s real villain. The Sal and Gabi books do away with all of that. Not only is Culeco Academy the coolest middle school ever, the series manages to ramp up all the tension and drama needed without having an actual villain. (Even the people who seem villainous at first turn out to be different from expected.) These are a delight for adult readers who love middle grade fiction, but they’re even more important for middle schoolers, who deserve to see kids their age saving the multiverse in communities full of hope and love.

Buy Sal and Gabi Break / Fix the Universe by Carlos Hernandez

Outlander Knitting: The Official Book of 20 Knits Inspired by the Hit Series by Kate Atherley

For the crafter in your life.

For fans of either Diana Gabaldon’s time-travel romance novel series or the hit Starz adaptation, this collection of patterns inspired by the show will transport your crafting friend into the Scottish Highlands. Featured among the projects are clothing, accessories, and decorations for the home.

Buy Outlander Knitting: The Official Book of 20 Knits Inspired by the Hit Series by Kate Atherley

The Only Good Indians by Stephen Graham Jones

For horror fans.

Compared favorably to horror-master Stephen King’s It, this classic revenge horror seamlessly combines elements of social commentary and drama. The story follows for American Indian men who, as childhood friends, experienced a disturbing event together. Now, the past has come back with a vengeance, and there’s no avoiding the violence they tried to leave behind. Jones is making his mark in the world of horror, and this is a not-to-be-missed thriller.

Buy The Only Good Indians by Stephen Graham Jones

Teen Titans: Raven and Beast Boy box set by Kami Garcia and Gabriel Picolo

For DC fans.

Garcia and Picolo’s Raven and Beast Boy origin stories reinvent the characters for an audience who may have already met them in kid-friendly Teen Titans Go! or adult-aimed Titans. While the comic versions presented here draw on those previous incarnations, the stories are self-contained, giving readers both familiar and new to the DC series a chance to experience them for the first time. This hardcover box set gives the books an extra gift-worthy feeling.

Buy Teen Titans: Raven and Beast Boy box set by Kami Garcia and Gabriel Picolo

Thorn by Intisar Khanani

For the friend who needs a fresh fairy tale.

In this retelling of “The Goose Girl,” reluctant Princess Alyrra is happy to have escaped royal life. But when she learns of a plot against the prince, she must decide whether to reclaim the heritage she wanted to leave behind, or let the kingdom fall. This beautiful hardcover edition also features an additional short story set in the same world.

Buy Thorn by Intisar Khanani

Dinosaurs: The Grand Tour, Second Edition: Everything Worth Knowing about Dinosaurs from Aardonyx to Zuniceratops by Keiron Pim

For Jurassic World and other dinosaur fans.

While the 2020 entry into the Jurassic World franchise, Camp Cretaceous, was geared toward younger viewers, plenty of adults never grow out of their love of dinosaurs. And why should they? These prehistoric terrors continue to be amazing—and modern scientists continue to make new discoveries on an almost weekly basis. This huge guide to dinosaur species offers references for more than 300 species full of colorful illustrations that show these titans in all their (feathery!) glory.

Buy Dinosaurs—The Grand Tour, Second Edition: Everything Worth Knowing about Dinosaurs from Aardonyx to Zuniceratops by Keiron Pim

The City We Became by N. K. Jemisin

For the SFF connoisseur.

This series starter is set in a contemporary New York—but the city is coming to life. But a city killer is trying to stop New York from evolving, and the city’s mortal avatars are the target of its plans. It’s not uncommon to hear people considering N. K. Jemisin the best modern writer of speculative fiction, bar none, so picking up The City We Became, her most recent novel, is a no brainer if you’re buying for someone who likes smart, quality SFF.

Buy The City We Became by N. K. Jemisin

Cyber Shogun Revolution by Peter Tieryas

For the mecha enthusiast.

This triumphant conclusion to Tieryas’s United States of Japan trilogy, which can be read as a stand-alone, takes place in an alternate reality where Japan and Germany won World War II and divided the United States between them. An assassin known as Bloody Mary is determined to eliminate corruption from within the United States of Japan, regardless of the cost. It’s up to a secret police agent and a star mecha pilot to stop her, but determining enemies from friends is almost impossible. Tieryas balances the super cool world of mecha battles and spy action with searing social commentary and ethical questions, making this a challenging but imminently worthwhile read for fans of Pacific Rim.

Buy Cyber Shogun Revolution by Peter Tieryas

Star Trek: The Wisdom of Picard by Chip Carter

For the Star Trek fan in your life.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard has always been quotably wise. In this collection, Chip Carter pulls together some of the greatest lines, featuring Picard’s thoughts on leadership, justice, and space exploration. The quotes are accompanied by photography from iconic scenes of The Next Generation, making this a perfect gift for the Star Trek fan who already has everything.

Buy Star Trek: The Wisdom of Picard by Chip Carter

Axiom’s End by Lindsay Ellis

For fans of Arrival and Stranger Things.

This first contact story from Hugo-nominated video-essayist Ellis is set in an alternate 2007. In the world of the novel, Cora’s father has blown the whistle on the first contact cover up. Cora herself wants nothing to do with aliens, but when one of the aliens decides Cora is the only human he’ll talk to, she’s stuck in the middle of everything. For lovers of aliens and conspiracy theories, this is one to pick up.

Buy Axiom’s End by Lindsay Ellis

Court of Lions by Somaiya Daud

For lovers of YA court intrigue.

In this sequel to Daud’s Mirage, Amani, who has been forced to serve as the body double for Princess Maram, is on her last chance. The princess discovered Amani’s connection to the rebellion, and now Maram is suspicious of anything Amani does. Yet Amani is dedicated to the cause of seeing her people free, which means she has to make a choice: continue to work from within the palace and risk her life, or flee and risk her people. For a female-centered plot that deals with consequences of colonialism, this series conclusion and its predecessor are a sure hit.

Buy Court of Lions by Somaiya Daud

Star Wars From a Certain Point of View: The Empire Strikes Back

For the Star Wars fan.

Called “one of the best Star Wars books released this year” in our Den of Geek review, this anthology is packed with stories from authors both well-known and unfamiliar, whose works delve into the lives of central and side characters from The Empire Strikes Back. While some explore relationships between key characters (Luke, Leia, Obi-wan), others tackle the points of view of previously unnamed creatures (Sy-O, the space slug that swallows the Millenium Falcon). The stories are sometimes delightfully weird, other times grim or tender, and all a good gift choice for the Star Wars fan whose favorite film is still Empire.

Buy Star Wars From a Certain Point of View: The Empire Strikes Back

Remina by Junji Ito

For the manga fan.

This science fiction horror story centers on Dr. Oguro, who discovers a planet that has emerged from a wormhole and names it after his daughter, Remina. But as the girl Remina rises to fame, the planet shifts its course, threatening all life on Earth. Could Remina herself be the cause? This chilling story is a classic from Eisner-winner Junji Ito newly released for an English-reading audience.

Buy Remina by Junji Ito

Be Water, My Friend: The Teachings of Bruce Lee by Shannon Lee

For the martial arts enthusiast.

For friends who like a little more grounded, real-world take, this exploration of Bruce Lee’s philosophies, written by his daughter, offer insight into the legendary martial artist. Although this title offers no martial arts tips, it is full of philosophy, untold stories, and inspirational takes from the cultural icon.

Buy Be Water, My Friend: The Teachings of Bruce Lee by Shannon Lee

Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

For the lover of gothic horror.

When her cousin begs her to come rescue her from a mysterious doom, Noemí heads to a house in the Mexican countryside. As she looks into the secrets of both the house and her newly-wed cousin’s husband, Noemí finds that there’s more danger—real and supernatural—than she ever imagined. Set in the 1950s, this supernatural horror blends elements of Rebecca and science fiction for a chilling novel perfect for lovers of classic gothics.

Buy Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

Marvel Greatest Comics: 100 Comics That Built a Universe

For the Marvel fan.

In a collection that spans the entire history of Marvel comics, characters like the Human Torch, Spider-Man, the Avengers, and the Guardians of the Galaxy show their historical origins. If you have a fan who’s waiting impatiently for the next MCU offering, this collection of some of Marvel’s defining comics from the company’s history may be just what they need to tide them over.

Buy Marvel Greatest Comics: 100 Comics that Built a Universe

Star Daughter by Shveta Thakrar

For lovers of mythology and fairy tales.

Billed as Neil Gaiman’s Stardust meets Hindi mythology, this debut novel centers on the daughter of a star and a mortal. Sheetal tries to be normal, but when her starfire accidentally hurts her mortal father, she must travel to the celestial court in order to save him. The combination of court intrigue, mythology, and a fairy-tale like tone is perfect for YA lovers.

Buy Star Daughter by Shveta Thakrar

Emerald Blaze by Ilona Andrews

For the romantic who needs a great stocking stuffer.

Although better known for the popular Kate Daniels series, the Ilona Andrews team (husband and wife Ilona and Gordon) has knocked it out of the park with the most recent installment in their “Hidden Legacy” series. There are now five novels and a novella in the series, with Emerald Blaze as the second book of a second arc, but while the book is most likely to resonate with readers already introduced to the character, it’s also a stand-alone magic-spy-action-adventure-romance. Despite that blend of genres, Team Andrews melds it all together in a world with both super cool magic and an alternate-reality Instagram, featuring characters you want to hang out with regardless of the stakes. The mass-market size also makes it perfect to slip into a stocking!

Buy Emerald Blaze by Ilona Andrews

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