#by the way this does reference some other scene I've shared

[luckydicekirby]

would love any director's commentary you may have on The Only True Thing if slightly older fics are on the table here bc lowkey it changed my brain chemistry forever. I read it on a whim like four years ago at 1 in the morning and ever since then I've been hooked on making all my fav pairings miserable for no reason. this sounds like sarcasm but I'm being completely sincere the schadenfreude is exquisite

okay first of all I’m SO glad to hear this because making your favs miserable is I think one of the most rewarding activities on this earth so I’m really glad I could help share that joy. thanks also to sylvain for just making it so easy. anyway, here’s some assorted thoughts, hopefully some of which are edifying!

(the only true thing for reference for anyone playing along at home.)

this fic affectionately named the darkling au due to this tweet which I feel like I should put in a hall of fame someday. anyway this entire thread showcases the origin of this fic which was me catie and lily bullying each other on twitter about sylvix, a pastime left behind in 2019 which i really miss.

the thing that really first made me Crazy Cuckoo about sylvain is his B support with Byleth--I'm obsessed with that moment where he very coldly threatens to kill you and then laughs it off, and that was pretty much the jumping off point for Sylvain's characterization in this au--what if he was like that all the time? answer: it would be bad, but also pretty sexy!

One thing I miss about writing for fe3h is the hero’s relics were sooo nice as like. shortcut symbolism. the lance of ruin comes preloaded for you! It’s familial cycles of violence! Easy! and there's a mechanic for it breaking ALSO preloaded into the game mechanics! I wrote like three versions of the ending and the lance getting busted moved around a bit--it originally happened a little earlier.

For a while when I was still femblempilled I was idly thinking about two sequels to this—a sylvain pov sequel about the war, which would have been fun but also Yikes, and then epistolary dorothea/ingrid ideological divorce fic. sorry to dorothea and ingrid who really get the short end of the stick in this universe.

oh there's a playlist. I can’t claim to have put a ton of thought into it it’s just all my fav bad ya boyfriend songs <3 actually dead girl walking reprise is like. yeah that's the fic.

ANYWAY. I feel like a lot of my commentary on this has been washed away by the sea (the passage of time) so a few extras. I apparently wrote like 400 words of sylvain POV of the training yard scene also? Last edited September 26th 2019, here you go:

Felix has always been smaller him, ever since they were kids. Still is these days, to Sylvain’s delight. He wondered about it plenty, these past two years--maybe Felix had a growth spurt. Maybe he caught up to Dimitri. Maybe Sylvain would meet him at the monastery and they’d see eye to eye. Of course they don’t. Felix is a head shorter than him, and he’ll never see things the way Sylvain does. Still. Sylvain thought about it. He’s had a lot of time to think about Felix since the last time he saw him, since Felix ran away. Still a crybaby at heart, no matter how sure he was he’d grown out of it. Not much has changed, Sylvain figures. Felix might have everyone else fooled with that delightfully sharp-edged exterior of his--a pretty decent feint, Sylvian should know--but Felix can’t hide from him. Sylvain sees him down to the bone. The two of them are a matched set: liars at heart.  Like right now. Felix is trying so hard not to cry, his back to the wall of the training yard, his grip tight around the wood of his training sword like he’s actually going to use it. Sylvain hopes he will. He hasn’t gotten to see Felix fight yet, really fight. He bets he’s gotten better. He bets he’s elegant and controlled—maybe less so with Sylvain, and wouldn’t that be nice? That’s how it goes sometimes, when Sylvain dreams about their last day together. Felix’s sword at his throat, biting and cold, ending all this before it began. It would have saved everyone a lot of trouble. Sylvain wouldn’t have had to spend such an awfully long time missing him.  He bets Felix could make him hurt. Nothing seems to do that anymore, except for thoughts of Felix, the ones he can never stop worrying at like a bruise.  Sylvain doesn’t want much these days, and maybe that’s why it’s so hard: he wants Felix in a way that aches, delirious and unstoppable. It doesn’t matter so much how. Felix is welcome to cut him open or kiss him quiet or anything in between. As long as he never stops looking at Sylvain like he is now, hateful and just on the edge of tears, so clearly focused on nothing else. As long as Sylvain can have that, the rest doesn’t matter.  That’s love, Sylvain figures; the cheerful facade he gives the girls is nothing. He forgets about a new one every week. But Felix? He’ll be dead someday, and Felix will still have a grip on his heart, as tight as he’s holding his sword and just as dangerous.

and what exists of the sylvain POV sequel I never wrote:

Felix looks like shit. Of course he’s also beautiful. He’s radiant, for all that his hair’s a mess and his face is drawn and he’s got the kind of dark circles that only come from weeks and weeks of exhaustion. He’s Felix, right? He can’t be anything else. “You look like shit,” Sylvain tells him, because honesty is what Felix thinks he wants from him. He hasn’t seen Felix in six moons, but that probably hasn’t changed. “What are you doing here?” Felix asks. His horse stamps her feet and shakes her head, moving uneasily under him. Felix has never been a good rider. It’s clear he doesn’t appreciate his mare, and she doesn’t appreciate him. Sylvain wonders how long Felix has been making his way across Faerghus like this. He wonders if he stole the horse. It’s awful not to know. “Looking for you,” Sylvain says. “They say you’re searching for the king.” Felix never could stop himself from chasing ghosts. Sylvain hates that about him. It’s just as unfair as everything else: it’s the only reason Sylvain is still here, after all.  “I am. And you should be defending Gautier territory.” “Got a message from your father,” Sylvain lies. He slides off his horse, patting her flank. Felix, clumsily, does the same. “He wants you to come home.” That part’s probably true.  Felix scoffs. “My old man can send all the messages he wants. I’m going to find the boar.” He means it. Sylvain can see that he means it, in the flinty look in his eyes, the fold of his arms, the jut of his chin as he looks up at Sylvain. It’s the saddest thing Sylvain’s ever seen, and he’s seen a lot of shit. “Felix,” he says. He reaches out. He can never help it, not when Felix is like this, not when he believes. Felix doesn’t flinch from Sylvain’s hand on his cheek anymore. “Sweetheart. You know he’s dead.” “Don’t call me that,” Felix says. But when he swings himself back in the saddle and Sylvain does the same, he doesn’t tell Sylvain not to follow. That’s more than good enough. 

[dontjudgemeimawriter]

Mika & Terran argument

I haven't shared an excerpt in a while and I got a good amount done last week.

I'm not sure how much context to give. Reminder of the basic premise that Terran faked Raymond' death and never told Mika, Raymond's twin sister, that he was alive. That's all come out now, and Terran has to face to consequences of keeping it from her. Terran at one point in the scene gives a recap of the preceding events.

Scene under the cut

Syndicate Taglist (ask to be +/-):

@puzzleddragon02 @sleepy-night-child @drippingmoon @thegreatobsesso @athenswrites @charlesjosephwrites @wildswrites @thelaughingstag @cljordan-imperium

--

When I headed to the hotel, bag of Mika’s things over my shoulder and the folder and birth certificates tucked in the pocket of my jacket, I traveled through back alleys. Staying out of the more public areas may not have actually been safer, but it felt it. I knew when someone was following me through the messy side streets more than I did on the busy main streets.

I paused when I saw Mika.

I’d been coming to see both of them, but I’d expected them to be in the room. Mika was sitting on the steps of an abandoned shop that shared an employee parking lot with the Veranda. She hadn’t seen me yet. She was wearing the same jacket she had on yesterday and her hair was in a braid swung over her shoulder. A gray cat was nuzzling its face into her hand, and I could see the edge of a smile.

My presence would ruin that smile.

But it seemed stupid to sneak past her, and we were otherwise fairly alone. So I approached her, keeping a few feet back before announcing myself.

“Mika.”

Her head snapped towards me, the sudden movement making the cat back away. The hint of a smile left and turned back into the hatred she always shot at me. Without speaking to me, she turned back into the cat. “Yes, that’s right. Run away, you know when someone’s dangerous, don’t you?” she said.

I hoisted the bag off my arm. “I have your things. Clothes. Toothbrush. Pajamas. That facial stuff in the bathroom.” I trailed off.

“Well, I’m not keeping it out here, am I?” she said, not accepting the bag, so I put it back over my shoulder.

I didn’t know what to say. “Where’s Raymond?”

She turned back to look at me. Her eyes narrowed. “Oh really? You’re asking me now? How the tables have turned. Shall I lie and say he’s—“ Her own emotions cut her off, not able to say it even to accuse me. I watched as she swallowed hard, knowing what it felt like. She crossed her arms. “Abigail called.”

“Shit,” I muttered. I knew he’d agreed to do whatever and help them find the trove, but so soon?

Mika didn’t say anything, just stared in angry silence.

I wanted him here. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted him to tell me why Zachary was wrong. And I was still so tired. I’d noticed my body aching on the walk over here.

“You know what? Give me the bag. Thanks a lot, and fuck off.” Mika said. She stood up and held out her hand for it.

I was really tired of her being mad at me. “I’m sorry, should I not have saved your brother?” I snapped. I swung the bag off my shoulder and let it fall to the ground between us. “Before you were mad at me because I did. Now you’re mad that I didn’t, make up your mind.” I could feel myself saying stupid, hurtful things, adding fuel.

“Oh, this is just my wildest dream, isn’t it? That the one person I attempted to trust has been keeping this from me—“

“Oh and it took you how long to extend the slightest olive branch?”

“You should have told me. You should have told me day of, I deserved to know.”

“Mika, do you really not get our situation? I know you know it. I know you know that this is all fucking life or death, you recognized that we’re both terrified. You think I kept this from you for fun, to watch you squirm? I kept it from you to protect him.”

“Because I’m a danger? You think I would put him in danger?”

I balled my fists, holding them at my sides. “You did exactly that, Mika!”

“Oh this whole Judge situation? You think I want him being used like this?” She looked me over. She took a step down the stairs she’d been sitting on and shook her head. “He’s doing this for you. He’s being an idiot.”

“I’m sorry, who was tied to a chair and who was willingly handing over the trove? Do you know how mad Zachary would be if he found out about that? Do you know realize that that’s why the Judge wants Raymond?”

“No,” she shook her head.

“Mika, you handed it over to them! That didn’t look coerced to me.”

“No. That’s on you.” She insisted.

And this was ridiculous. Maybe I’d starting saying things to be hurtful and angry, but that was so blatantly false. “Let me recap for you. I sneak into their room to free Jodi, who was your freind. I get caught, tied up, and paralyzed. You walk in on your own volition and hand over tot he judge a whisper full of information, which Raymond is forced to interpret in exchange for my life. Please explain to me how this is on me.”

I can see tears in Mika’s eyes, and for a moment I think it’s because I’m right. But she shakes her head again. Stubborn as always.

“Terran, why do you think I was doing that?” She asked, this time her voice cracking a little instead of pure anger. “You think I thought it’d be fun to betray Zachary? You think I thought Oh, I sure hate working for him, how about I got help out the guy in charge instead? You gave me no other choice. You made it so I was alone, just like I had been ever since you took him from me. Don’t deny that—even if you didn’t kill him, you took him from me. Why do you think I reached out? And you pushed me away again. That was supposed to give me freedom. You think I would have put Raymond in danger if I’d known?” She turned away to hide wiping an eye with her sleeve. “And what, I’m supposed to trust you now? What else would you keep from me?”

I couldn’t find a reply to that. Her words sunk in. I remembered how she’d tried to reach out, to help me find Jodi only for me to push her away… to avoid her running into Raymond. And maybe I’d been wrong this whole time. She could keep a secret. Maybe I should have told her.

I’d never cared until now how much she hated me. She was hating me for something I didn’t do, so I never took it personally. Never even really cared, for a long time, it wasn’t very important what she thought. But now she was hating me for exactly what I had done. And the hurt that Raymond’s death had caused her… that I’d caused her… that didn’t just go away with his return to her life.

I dropped focus. “I’m sorry,” I said. I avoided meeting her eyes, just started at the ground. “You’re right. I should have told you. I should have told you a long time ago. I should have trusted you and not pushed you away.” I sat down on the stoop. “When I did that, when I saved him, it was the first good thing I ever did. I wanted to protect him, but I was also protecting myself. It was easier to keep you in the dark.” I fiddled with the zipper of my jacket. She didn’t say anything. I found myself continuing talking. “You and Raymond were so good at knowing what the right thing to do is. I watch you do all this and see how much you hate it, because you know it’s wrong. But I’ve only known that based on you guys’s example.”

The cat Mika had been petting, that had disappeared at some point, suddenly jumped up next to me. It curled next to me, a small warm body against my leg.

Mika let out a sigh. “Just don’t keep anymore secrets,” she said.

I reached over to the cat, running my hands cautiously over its body. I know they sometimes bite without warning, but the cat just lifted its had and looked at me.

I wasn’t sure if that meant we were okay, apology accepted. I glanced at her, but her expression was unreadable, as she just stared at the cat. At least he wasn’t angry or crying. “Zachary and I burned your house down,” I said. I looked back at the cat, which had relaxed again. I stroked its forehead. So soft.

“I figured he had,” she said, taking it much better than I’d thought she would. “He’s burned you before, too, hasn’t he?”

She’d asked me that back then, in the bathroom, when I’d helped her.

The memories twisted in my gut, but I kept stroking the cat and it was easier to say. “Yes. Before you and Raymond arrived, it was pretty common. But it was to teach me.”

Mika sat down next to me. She reached over and pet the cat under its chin, and it leaned its head towards her. “You didn’t deserve that.”

“It’s okay,” I brushed it off instinctually.

“Yes, burn a child to teach him a lesson, that’s totally fine and normal.”

“To teach me to be an assassin. To survive,” I argued.

“Fine,” she said. Then, she added, “You look like crap, you know.”

I managed a small smile at that. “Yeah, I didn’t sleep very well.”

“And poured energy into him yesterday,” she added. I’d forgotten about that. “Of course you’re drained.” A pause. “Did you come here just to bring my stuff or did you want him for some reason?”

“I wanted to bring your stuff” I said. But now that I was trying to be honest, I added, “And I didn’t really want to just stay at home.”

“Now there’s a sentiment I can get behind,” she said.

The cat decided it was bored of us and stood, walked behind Mika, and then let away.

“I found something else,” I said, remembering what was in my jacket pocket. I reached in and pulled out both things. The birth certificate I handed over first. “From your old house,” I explained. “I thought you might need it if you do manage to leave.”

Hint of a grin. “Thanks,” she said. She read it over, then folded along the seams and stuck it in the bag of her things.

“I also found this,” I said, taking out the folder. I tilted it towards her.

“What is it?” She asked, but she opened the envelope, and I waited for her to discover it herself. “A journal?”

“Your mom’s.” Suddenly I was afraid I’d lost something by giving it to her— what if she didn’t want me to read it? “I haven’t read it. But I think there’s stuff about my parents in there, too.”

She stroked a hand over the book. “Let’s go inside,” she said. “We can look through them together.”

Thank god. It was just as good as saying she forgave me. I gave her a smile— I think a real smile, for the first time with her— and stood, following her into the Veranda.

[drive-pdfs-and-stuff]

Hello! This is a blog primarily focused on making animal books (mainly Xenofiction) more accessible to those who can't get them legally (or don't want to support the creators)

I've made two separate drives that contain A LOT of pdfs of said books, such as Warrior Cats, Wings of Fire, Ratha's Creature, Watership Down, Survivors and many more you can see on this list

You can ask for the links through messages or comments!

More details about this under the cut!

Why not share the drives here?

Well, the last time I saw someone do that, the links got taken down, so instead I'll be sharing them through DMs!

Also, don't be shy to ask any questions.

There are two drives, the Main Books drive, and the Mature Books drive (which is mostly still a work in progress)

Please, specify if you want access to the mature books drive, and only ask for it if you're 18 years old or older, I will be checking if you have your age/age range in bio, if you don't have it, you can also say you're an adult when asking for it. (It's not a foolproof system, I know, but It's not like I want to ask for personal details)

The main drive has books that range from Family friendly to other series with an age rating of +13 or +15.

(I usually censor slurs before uploading the PDFs, but this time around, because of my own triggers, I haven't checked the contents of them and left the books the same as they were upon release, including slurs) (just because I left them intact, does not mean I agree with the usage of said words in the context of the books, which is why I added warnings for each slur in a document inside the drive) (I've personally censored every slur I've found in the books of the main drive, however)

The mature books drive has animal books that have a lot of content not appropriate for minors, such as animals going into heat cycles, uncensored slurs and a lot of other dark topics (like SA, for example). (Just because there's animal heat scenes doesn't mean that I condone the enjoyment of said scenes, if I see someone claiming to be zoophile wanting access to the drive, they will be blocked on sight) (This is not a safe space for anyone attracted to animals in such ways)

Some gross people have already asked me for the link to the mature drive, if more people like them keep asking for it i WILL DELETE IT.

For reference, this drive has books like Ratha's Creature and One for Sorrow, Two for Joy.

ALL BOOKS IN BOTH DRIVES HAVE A DOCUMENT LISTING ALL TRIGGER AND CONTENT WARNINGS FOR EACH SERIES.

The trigger warnings were sourced from book reviews and pages focused on giving content warnings.

Here are other questions you may have:

Can I share the link once I have it?

Yes! As long as you don't share it in public internet spaces (comments, public posts, open discord servers with huge amounts of people) it should be fine. I would love to make it public, however I also don't want it to get taken down minutes after sharing, which is why I'm limiting it to private links.

Can I take the PDFs from the drive and use them on my own drive?

Of course! The entire point of this is to make these books more accessible! Take whatever you need from here!

Have a nice reading! I will keep giving out the links for as long as this post is still up (or gets taken down or something happens to me lol)

[ecrivainalene]

Leviathan Panel at Otakon 2024

I was OVERJOYED to be at the Leviathan panel during Otakon 2024! I'll do my best to recap it below, but if you want a more coherent play by play, this Twitter user did an excellent job.

I've got a handful of photos, recap of Sharp Gender Discussion, plus misc. things I remember.

Not everyone was up for the entire time, but I snapped this photo near the end when everyone was on stage! From left to right: Waki Kiyotaka (Studio Orange), Yoshihiro Watanabe (Studio Orange), Scott Westerfeld, Christophe Ferreira (Quibic Pictures), Justin Leach (Quibic Pictures), Katrina Minett (Quibic Pictures), and Diana Garnet (ending theme vocalist).

New concept art! Looks like Dr. Barlow, Klopp, Alek, and Sharp, right before the Germans attack the Leviathan.

More under the cut!

Alternative shot of that art bc I couldn't get my lighting right:

Clanker and Darwinist technology designs. Watanave explained that Studio Orange's early days were spent doing contract work on Gundam anime, so I can't wait to see how that translates to the Clanker machines.

Some more concept art:

By the way, the entire series is being adapted at once - so we'll get the complete story at once! That in mind, the second image here makes me think of that maneuver near the beginning of Goliath to pick up the cargo.

Sharp!!! Look at them!!!

I don't have much to say about these but I'm fairly sure I hadn't seen them before. I am wondering if they downsized Alek's crew for the sake of the story, or perhaps we just haven't seem Bauer and Hoffman yet.

We got some new character art! The panel was very cryptic about who the character designer is. Apparently they're pretty well known, but they can't share it yet!

Volger I am so sorry your photo was unfocused. Forgive me.

The panel jokingly described him as "Alek's dad," which feels accurate. And maybe I misunderstood, but it sounds like he plays an even more important role in the anime than he does in the books. I've always considered Volger to be a pretty important character, so I wonder what else he'll do in this new series.

Klopp looks exactly like how I pictured him in my mind!! They said if Volger is Alek's dad, then Klopp is like his mom. Which is very fair but also made me laugh a lot.

Dr. Barlow!! She looks amazing. There was a lot of talk about the dynamic between her and Volger and how they're often playing mental chess games with each other. I'm really glad they're leaning into that dynamic.

And one more concept art:

This looks like the visit to Istanbul, which I'm desperately hoping means we'll see my favorite chaotic bisexual, Lilit.

That's all of the photos I have! They also showed us a preview of the show plus a live performance of the ending song with Diana Garnet. No video recording was allowed and I don't break rules, but believe me when I tell you it was stunning. The world feels so full of life and adventure and I can't wait to see the final show.

Tbh I was too busy holding back tears of joy but one thing I remember distinctly is there's a shot of Sharp getting ready for the day, and we see a sheet of paper with a bunch of names written and crossed out before finally (I think) "Dylan" is circled.

Which actually brings me to the Q&A part. TLDR, between the use of "Sharp" for Deryn's name, Scott referring to Sharp as "she/he/they" during the panel, and the scene I mentioned earlier, I feel really hopeful about how they're approaching Deryn's gender and identity in this adaptation.

I asked a question about this at the Q&A and voice recorded it, so I'll try to transcribe it here as best I can because the audio is not great lol. I stumbled through my question so I trimmed it down here but I'll transcribe the response as clearly as I can!

Me: I just finished re-reading [the series] for the first time since I was probably in high school, and one of the things that interests me about this adaptation is the approach to Sharp's character... I guess I'm just interested, like, was there a lot of thought put behind, or what kind of thought was put behind how to approach their character in the anime, I guess as a chance to re-approach the story however many years after it was originally written.

Scott Westerfeld: Yeah, there's a lot to that. The "girl dressing as a boy" as a trope was something completely different in 2007 when I started writing this than it is now. And so we really approached Deryn's identity as what was at stake rather than just... rather than just her being in disguise, it's about their recreating themselves and becoming a different person and transitioning and, and so... but it's always been interesting to me that the words that I wrote back in 2009, 10, 11, y'know, as an old guy who grew up in Texas in the 70s - who was David Bowie fan! - but otherwise didn't have a lot of access into issues of gender, I'm amazed at how many people have been [able to?] adopt Deryn/Dylan as one of their own. I just got an email a week ago from a trans boy whose chosen name is Dylan. So it is amazing to me how whatever imperfections or whatever problematics there are in the text, people still find their way into what they need from a character. And as a writer, I can say that I always respected that character, I always respected their choices, I always respected who they were. I never tried to stick them into a dress and have everyone go "Ooh now you're pretty 'because 'cause you're in dress!" We didn't do that, and I think that what may be important for people and I think that's why it's still what's gonna work here, but it's been fun to be able to update it and everybody on the team's been really great about understanding that.

TLDR I don't want to get anyone's hopes up too high, but I'm really appreciative of the care that's being taken with Sharp's story and identity in this adaptation. It seems like Scott and the others on the team are taking that into account, and I'm excited to see how it plays out.

Other random things I remember:

THERE WAS AN ALEK COSPLAYER. I took a photo with them but I won't post it without their consent. Just trust that they looked fantastic.

Scott said one of the first things he was told was that Alek can't actually kill Nikola Tesla because he's too well loved by people in Japan, which I think is the funniest possible reason for a change to be made in an adaptation.

Diana Garnet (they/any) mentioned how much they love Sharp (don't we all) and also how they used to work at a Barnes and Noble and remembers selling lots of Westerfeld books!

Scott said his approach in writing Leviathan was taking everything he'd always wanted to write about and basically throwing it together, because he was just coming off of the success of Uglies and figured he could get away with it.

If I remember anything else I'll add on to this post! Overall, it was a wonderful panel and I'm incredibly excited for this project.

[love-byers]

for 2 years i've been wondering what the connection is between the byler scene and the max scene. like they didn't seem similar at all, but after reading this i realized something.

earlier today i was thinking about the track "Letter to Willy" and wondering why it sounded so familiar. after some listening im 100% sure it's because "Letter to Willy" is a version of "Eulogy", a song from the s2 soundtrack. I'm 100,000% sure and i painstakingly edited this to make it clear to anyone listening

"Eulogy" plays whenever the scene is related to death, more specifically a character who has died. hence the name. a eulogy is a speech written to honor someone who recently died, often times read at their funeral. which is interesting, because the first time we hear "Eulogy", it's not an actual eulogy. so clearly this has a deeper meaning.

here's are all the times the track has played, as far as i'm aware

season 2

2×01 nancy cries about barb in the bathroom

2×01 mike puts his toys in the donation box and remembers el, who is believed to be dead

2×03 hopper shows el the cabin for the first time

2×08 hopper sits with joyce after bobs death

2×08 mike tells the group about how bob founded the av club

season 3

3×01 joyce has a flashback of bob

season 4

4×03 mike and el fight

clearly there is a pattern here. (and for the hopper and el one, if you watch the scene there are multiple references to dead characters. hopper mentions his grandpa, and hides a box of sara's things right before the song plays. this could also be representative of the death of el's old life.)

"This is your new home."

"Home."

so if "Letter to Willy" is 100% directly connected to "Eulogy", what does that mean?

(i'm not sure if "Letter to Willy" plays in more than those 2 scenes, but i'm pretty sure it's just the two so i'll proceed on that)

so we can assume the two scenes are related to someone or something that has died. obviously, max is reading her letter to billy at his gravestone. unknown hero agent man is dead and there is shared imagery of gravestones, but mike and will aren't talking about that when the song plays. they're talking about mikes fight with el, again.

mike and el's fight. the scene that "Eulogy", aka the theme for DEATH, plays in.

mike and el's relationship died during that fight. even mike knows it, he keeps trying to say it in different ways. "A fight you can't come back from." go back and watch the scene, and look at el's face when mike says "you're being ridiculous" she is so so done with him. mike is right, this is a fight they can't come back from.

i also think "Letter to Willy" could be implying that the truth of the situation is being hidden. max later admits that vecna was right, she wanted billy to die and that is a source of her guilt. in the letter she implied she had just frozen and wishes she had done something, but that wasn't the whole truth. it was partly on purpose because billy made her life a living hell.

and with byler...i mean do i even need to say it? mike isn't not telling the truth, but he's not saying the whole truth either. he dances around the reason he didn't say what eleven wanted him to say, he won't even say what that thing is. and if you ask me, a byler truther, this is also indicative of mike and will not outright saying their feelings for each other because they're both closeted.

"Eulogy" plays when mike and el's relationship dies.

"Letter to Willy" plays when mike and will are talking about the death of the relationship.

[nerdygaymormon]

I hear so many people hating on the Olympics for showing drag queens reenacting the Last Supper. That does seem pretty blasphemous. I'm curious to hear your thoughts about that

The morning after the 2024 Paris Olympics opening ceremony, my mom expressed her disgust at drag queens recreating da Vinci’s "Last Supper" and said it’s fine if they don’t believe but they shouldn’t mock others. I had no idea what she was talking about, I watched the opening ceremonies but I missed that. She admitted she didn't notice it either but it was all over her morning news.

Tbh, I figured if she was going to be offended by anything, it would be the multi-racial ménage à trois

Or possibly the guillotined Marie Antoinette holding her head

I found online that what she was referring to is what took place on a bridge over the river Seine. There was a table with a red carpet down the middle which served as a catwalk. At the center of the table was seated a woman wearing a silver headdress, surrounded by some drag queens and dozens of dancers and artists. Models featuring fashions from France's most promising young designers walked the runway.

The specific part of the ceremony that caused the offense was a closeup of the people at the table. The tableau was reportedly based on a painting by Dutch artist Jan Harmensz van Biljert called "Feast of the Gods," painted in 1635, and is housed in the Musée Magnin in Dijon, France. In the painting, the Greek gods on Mount Olympus have a banquet to celebrate the marriage of Thetis and Peleus.

The figure seated at the center of the table is Apollo, being the sun god he has a halo of light around his head.

One thing I liked is they updated the idea of Apollo with his lute to be portrayed by French DJ Barbara Butch with her equipment. Barbara advocates for several causes, such as acceptance of obese people and lesbian rights. She says her "aim is to unite people, gather humans & share love through music for all of Us to dance & make our hearts beat at unisson! Music sounds better with all of Us!"

They also had a blue Dionysus, the Greek god of wine, fruit, vegetation, and festivities.

All that meaning wasn't explained during the broadcast and went over my head, but I guess it makes sense to have a scene in the Olympics that gives a nod to the Greek gods, where the Olympics began, and which is meant to convey celebratory festivities, and is based on a painting housed in a French museum.

Even though there was no iconography like bread, wine, or even a bag of gold coins, having a bunch of folks on one side of the table reminded some people of Leonardo da Vinci's "Last Supper" painting.

The ceremony’s artistic director Thomas Jolly has said it was meant to celebrate diversity and pay tribute to feasting and French gastronomy. "The idea was to create a big pagan party in link with the God of Mount Olympus — and you will never find in me, or in my work, any desire of mocking anyone," Jolly said.

My guess is that if drag queens wanted to portray the Last Supper, they're talented enough that it would've been clear that was the intent.

Even if they meant to portray the "Last Supper," that painting has been recreated in many creative ways and I've never heard anyone upset about it, but maybe in this case they're upset because there were queer people involved. They forget that it is a queer painting, having been done by one of the most famous gay men in history, with one of the characters at the table being modeled on da Vinci's own lover Salaì.

Let's say the Olympic organizers did intend for this scene to be reminiscent of the "Last Supper," I'm good with it. Jesus would invite everyone to have a seat at the table, which is a good message for the Olympics to convey, all are welcome. No person at that table would be excluded from Jesus' table, but there's a number of Christians who would exclude themselves if it meant not having to sit with queer people and others they perceive as sinners, which is ironic since Christianity teaches that we're all sinners.

In summary, I think some people misinterpreted the intention of what was presented, and a group of conservative media types promoted that misinterpretation to cause outrage because that would generate views and clicks. Most people who are angry by this weren't upset when they saw it originally aired, they are furious because they were told that they should be upset about it.

[curio-queries]

I agree, I think the main character was always meant to be their relationship. I think when they were planning the show that must have been a discussion, because it would be self-evident once they were traveling together, same as it came out so strongly when they were in BV3 and walking around together. Obviously the jeju episodes were hijacked so to speak (but imo mostly served to show us the incredibly intimate bond Jikook share), but yes, the main character is that, it is meant to show us them, as they are. They said this too in their first intro.

I also think it was a way for JM to make up to JK for his busy period, and spend quality time being free to travel together. They obviously say that to open the show, so it is not a reach. But, it is more than that, I think he truly does care about JK and his happiness. He also says that a few times in jeju and in Sapporo so far, as long as JK is happy, that is what mattered, and I am like that in my relationship. It truly shows how much they both care for each other.

I love that in episode 6, all they really do is check into their hotel, eat snacks, go to a 7/11, eat more, talk, go to bed. Then JM is there calling JK into the bathroom to take a selfie because 'they made memories here'. it is so sweet, because really all I think he is referring to is them being together, enjoying the normal/mundane things. Then they go on to do more of that, walking the snowy streets to go find food, coffee and ride a train. Things a lot of us will take for granted, often complain about probably. I know they had a lot of staff to protect them/look out for their wellbeing, but we have. to remember they are used to that, and so for them, it is just being out and about on a normal day, doing normal things, together.

Hi anon,

I'd definitely be interested to learn a little more about the scope of AYS and how it developed. I've still been thinking about the idea of the relationships as the main character and how that could have developed throughout the production. It's been a while since I've watched Bon Voyage but I don't think the same could be said there. BV is absolutely modeled after typical travel shows where the journey/destination becomes the chief focus.

I do think there was space for the Jeju eps to open the focus to all three members' relationships and I do believe it was mostly successful. It's one of the reasons why all of the pool segments didn't feel repetitive, there was a different mixture of members each time: taekook, jikook, vminkook. Even though they recreated some of the same bits in each subsequent scene, they weren't cut our of the edit because it didn't feel like repeat moments due to the changing dynamics and thus fulfilling the goal of exploring the differing relationships.

On a complete sidenote, while we're sharing lovely bursts of joy from ep 6, let me share mine about the memories moments as well. I have a family history of memory loss-related illnesses so I've always been hyperaware of my own shortcomings with my memory and made my peace with the likelihood that I will have my own journey on that path as well. There was a phrase I heard years ago that has given me a lot of comfort: our character has still been influenced by those we love even if we lose the memories associated with them.

This episode spending so much time talking about making memories in such a sweet way just reminds me how much Jimin and Jungkook want to have eachother influence their character. They have so many extraordinary events in their lives and while they may not remember the exact day-to-day detail, they have absolutely helped shape the other's character. I just think it's especially lovely.

[poomphuripan]

Hello Claire,

First of all, thank you so much for everything you have been sharing these last few weeks about My Stand-In and Poom (and Up). It's such a treat ❤️

Was My Stand-In Poom's first project out of CH8 or was it Bake Me Please? I hope his popularity will rise and allow him to be cast in different kinds of show and role. Because it must be frustrating to always play the same type of character... And do you know in which agency does he belong please?

Have a nice day ❤️

hiiii (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡

well thank you for following and always supporting my gifs i see you (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♡

So Bake Me Please is actually Channel 8 (CH8)'s first ever BL series where they got their rising male actors (Ohm, Guide, Poom, Atom, Prame, Tawan) to star in, so BMP is actually a CH8 series.

I believe Poom's first ever non CH8 work is Saneha Stories Season 4: Saiyai Saneha (2022) which is a two-episode mini series based on the real life story of a gay man. This was aired on AIS Play and produced by TV Thunder.

Poom also has another comedy series Jenny A.M./P.M. (2022) on AIS Play but this was in collaboration with CH8 which is why there were some CH8 actors (Poom, Nonny, Prame) in the series. Poom plays the straight best friend of the male protagonist (played by Singto Prachaya).

So technically My Stand-In is Poom's 2nd or 3rd work outside of CH8 (depending on how you view the two projects above) but it is Poom's first lead role in a major production and Poom often refers to My Stand-In as his first ever lead role in interviews so that's Poom's position on it 😅

For some background on Poom's agency. He is managed by RSDG - a production/talent management subsidiary company of RS Group, a Thai entertainment and media company that owns CH8. So basically Poom is a Channel 8 actor but it seems that CH8 is a bit more laxed about their actors partaking in series outside of their network (but that also comes with a cost).

I've heard rumors that CH8 gave Poom an ultimatum between becoming 2ML in another CH8 lakorn or choosing to star in My Stand-In (a non CH8 work) and not having any CH8 lakorn projects left for the rest of the year. I have no idea the accuracy of this rumor but I guess all we gotta do is look at Poom's schedule for the rest of this year and see if he's got anything else other than MSI fanmeetings here and there ಥ_ಥ

But I have a lot of fun watching Poom playing his evil lakorn villain roles at CH8 as well and I think those scenes helped greatly in honing his acting skills throughout his acting career so far (you can watch Poom being very stiff in his early works and the gradual improvement progress over the course of his lakorn works). If you pick a random CH8 lakorn with Poom, his character is sure to be killing or dying or crying or getting mad or fucking someone (sometimes all of the above).

Whatever the future holds for Poom, I'm very happy that he chose My Stand-In because I can't imagine a world where we do not get Poom Phuripan as Joe. Poom expresses a lot of happiness from finally getting positive reactions about his acting performances for the first time, which is a thing that I think lakorn actors will hardly get (especially if you play supporting roles at an obscure TV channel with low to average viewership). I also feel like Poom is pretty happy to finally get to play a character that's so close to his personality in real life (bonus the fact that his character isn't dying or going to jail).

I too hope that My Stand-In will be the breakthrough project Poom needed to get the attention and the opportunities he deserved after being much underrated and typecasted at CH8, manifesting many interesting scripts and acting opportunities come his way 🥹

sorry op i hope i answered some of your inquiries. i totally get carried away whenever i'm rambling. tldr: poom is managed by rsdg group so officially speaking, he's an actor for channel 8 but sometimes they let him out to star in non-ch8 works.

[monstrousgourmandizingcats]

ik the post was from like a week ago but would like to hear your thoughts on jackie and the prescription drug thing because it really isnt discussed!

Absolutely. Jackie has prooooblems and I really wish they were more openly talked about in the fandom.

So there are at least three references to Jackie abusing prescription drugs in canon. I forget what the third is (I might be misremembering it but I'm pretty sure it's there), but the first two are in "Pilot" and "Blood Hive". The reason why Shauna is asleep during the flight is that Jackie has given her Valium, a benzo (its generic name is diazepam) that in the 70s through 90s was commonly prescribed for anxiety and to an extent still is. What's remarkable about this is the casual way everyone involved treats it; this is consistent in how Shauna and Jackie themselves talk about Jackie's drug use, but the scene also establishes that even Jackie's mother doesn't seem to see any need to monitor her teenage daughter's access to her pills. As Jackie puts it, "Swiped these from my mom's medicine cabinet. Valium. She's got, like, a never-ending supply, so I doubt she'll even notice."

A series of questions already arises here, all of which the show is fascinatingly uninterested in answering, possibly because the screenwriters share Shauna and Jackie's flippant attitude (which is generational, as I'll discuss below) but, I think, likely also because what's implied about the Taylor household here is more disturbing if it's not spelled out. Why does Mrs. Taylor have that much of a med lying around at all times? Has Jackie taken the Valium before? If so, why and how often? (Does she, perhaps, use it to get through sex acts with Jeff?)

The second time this comes up is in the scene in which Shauna and Jackie are discussing their respective Wilderness skills as Shauna butchers one of Nat and Travis's first quarries. Almost everyone in the fandom has favorite bits of this scene, which is full of fantastic Shaunajackie lines and moments, so it's surprising to me that this isn't discussed more, but again, the breathtakingly casual delivery probably goes some way towards distracting the viewer from what's actually being communicated. (It could also be that the line in question here comes immediately before "Wowza, Shipman," which understandably steals the show):

Shauna: Remember when Kiffy Schumacher broke her arm right before we were supposed to go to Whipsplash River, and you told her that if she shared her Percocet, we'd all crash bingo at the Elks Lodge instead? Jackie: Wait. Is this a pep talk? Wowza, Shipman. Wow, that is so not your style.

Uh. Girls? You okay there? "Poppin' Percs" is something Kendrick Lamar accused Drake of earlier this month. The company that makes this drug is currently being pounded in court by the Attorneys General of Ohio, Mississippi, Missouri, New York, and possibly other states too since the last time I checked. You're talking about like it's Pez.

Percocet is a mixture of oxycodone, which is an opioid, and paracetamol, which is a common over-the-counter painkiller (it's called acetaminophen in the US and a few other countries; it's the active ingredient in Tylenol and Panadol). Unlike Valium, oxy is something I've been on in the past--I, like Kiffy Schumacher, had a badly fucked-up arm a few years ago--so I can speak to how it's currently treated in American medical culture. You're given a very small amount of it at once, you pace yourself taking it and alternate it with over-the-counter painkillers unless absolutely necessary, and if you have any left over when you decide you no longer need it, which I did, you surrender whatever pills you still have on you to the police. I know that the current widely accepted view on drug control is that it's wildly overdone in the US, and I agree with that for the most part, but in this case the tight controls on this sort of painkiller are a regulation that was written in blood. And the opioid epidemic is still ongoing; in fact, in some ways it's worse, since people are using black-market opioids now that are even more dangerous than oxy and its ilk.

I do want to stress that Jackie's pattern of drug use isn't unusual for a teenager; in fact, it's pretty classic. "Adolescents....most commonly reported receiving prescription[s] for free from a friend or relative, although significant proportions of adolescents also used their own prescriptions, purchased drugs from a dealer, or took them from friends or family without asking." (The article linked cites data taken in 2006, when the prescription drug abuse epidemic on whose upward slope Jackie lives had plateaued.) I also want to clarify that the cavalier attitude Shauna and Jackie have towards prescription drugs isn't unique to this category of substances; teenagers in the 1990s were much more blasé about controlled substances in general than they are today, and adolescent prescription drug abuse has declined less than most other categories:

(Note the especially massive drop-off in adolescent cigarette use after the turn of the millennium. Lottie in her kinderwhore-meets-Empire Records party outfit diffidently holding a cig is very much an image from the past these days. And yet this isn't entirely a success story; adolescents who are still engaging in substance abuse are OD'ing a lot more than they were thirty years ago.)

I don't really have a conclusion here, because I just want to encourage the fandom to discuss this aspect of Jackie's character, not necessarily to adopt any particular narrativization or interpretation of it. This, then, is the basics on Jackie and prescription drugs. Poor girl.

[backjustforberena]

I think some of you here are overly indulgent with Corlys and tend to overly romanticize his relationship with Rhaenys. I believe the issue stems from projecting Eve and Steve's relationship onto these characters.

Hello, anon. I hope you're doing well. I debated long and hard about how to reply to this. I don't know who the "some of you here" is referring to so the first thing I would like to say is that I'm just talking about myself. Also that your phrasing is rude.

This is my response to your accusation that I overly romanticise the relationship between Corlys and Rhaenys, and specifically do so by projecting the relationship of Eve Best and Steve Toussaint onto those characters. I'll take it point by point and, please do feel free to get back in touch in case anything isn't clear enough for you.

I would very much like it if you could credit me with the intelligence to be able to differentiate between an actor and a character. I do not believe I have ever created a scenario, a headcanon or an interpretation about this ship from the way that Eve and Steve interact with one another. Eve is not Rhaenys. Steve is not Corlys. They are very little like their characters. Their relationship, certainly, is nothing like the relationship that is shared between the characters they play on screen. It also has no bearing on how that relationship is portrayed on screen, beyond what the work asks of them in fulfilling their jobs to bring these scripts to life.

To suggest that I am somehow "projecting" romance onto Rhaenys and Corlys from the way the actors interact is not only unfair and baseless, it is also illogical. What romance is there to be gained by projecting a completely platonic four-year friendship of two colleagues onto a "love match" marriage that has lasted over thirty years?

Eve Best and Steve Toussaint are a joy on the press circuit. I have found much happiness in watching their interviews, seeing them be playful with one another and having a nice time. They are friends. That is where it ends. The only thing that I take from Eve and Steve to then apply to the way I think about Corlys and Rhaenys is what they say about Corlys and Rhaenys. Nothing else.

What an actor says about their character is important because that is what they are playing, and thinking, and feeling about a scene. That is reliable information in which you can then build an opinion of a character and of a ship. Just as you might listen to a showrunner or a writer or a director speaking about the same thing. And I do do that. I find great happiness in hearing their insights. That, however, has nothing to do with who Steve and Eve are as people or how they are with one another.

I have never done anything or created a thought that has no textual basis from either within the show or from other equally valid sources such as interviews. And I resent the implication that I do.

The relationship of Corlys and Rhaenys does not need to be over-romanticised. It is romantic. Is there hurtful, painful or otherwise unidealistic behaviour involved? Of course. It's a grown-up, complex relationship that navigates a lot of flaws, failings, betrayals and losses. I've never shied away from that aspect. They are not a perfect couple. That is evident.

But I don't need to over-romanticise them when I have canon quotes such as "I wonder if they knew it was all for her", "We are at war, Corlys. If something were to befall you…" and "And I would remedy that small-minded error by any means", as well as various other moments, actions, and scenes.

I don't need to over-romanticise when I have interview quotes, referring to Corlys as Rhaenys's "beloved husband" and Rhaenys as "the woman he loves". The thing that Eve and Steve were told, by the showrunners, at the outset, is that this couple is in love. It was a love match.

If Steve says that Corlys feels the fragility in the relationship then I take that on board and I look at how he might be trying to address that. If Even says Rhaenys is feeling the fragility in the relationship, I will also take that on board and see where she might be receiving that message. Likewise, if Steve says scenes reminded him of what Rhaenys and Corlys might have been like when younger, I will look for that. If Eve says that Rhaenys and Corlys still maintain a "rocking sex life" then I will take that and run with it. That's not over-romanticising, that's just being informed.

And if I were to over-romanticise them, then I certainly would not take anything from the way Eve and Steve are with one another because it is not relevant, applicable, or even helpful. It is also rude to do so with any serious intent because they are real people, whereas Rhaenys and Corlys are fictional.

In terms of being "overly indulgent", I'd be very grateful if you could tell me any specific examples, because god forbid I find enjoyment out of shipping and generally interacting with the idea of this couple and their arc. I won't apologise for finding something that brings me joy, and I won't be shamed for it, especially when I pride myself in being logical and always having basis in text and perspective. If you have a different opinion than me, then that is fine. But allow me mine, and do not imply that no thought or the wrong thought has gone into my opinion.

A ship is supposed to be romantic. This ship is romantic. That is just a fact. The relationship between the two is romantic. From the first scene they share together, to the last. Shipping hurts no one, it brings joy, and it is, I would argue, the whole gosh darn point of it all. There are far worse ships to be shipping than a middle-aged married couple, be honest. If I am indulgent, then thank goodness because it makes me smile.

[telomeke]

4 MINUTES – COUNTING DOWN

We're now just shy of the mid-point in 4 Minutes (three eps down with five more to go) and I've been avidly watching, but getting quite confused at the same time by all the twists and turns.

Part of that confusion stems from not being able to watch the "Sultrier" version at first, despite getting Viu Premium. (How do they come up with these euphemisms though? Remembering that KinnPorsche also had a "La Forte" incarnation. 🤣) The sanitized 4 Minutes was annoying, not just because the sexy bits were cut out, but also because we missed important, informative parts of the narrative.

For example, Korn and Ton Kla's Ep.1 sex scene was actually an in-your-face illumination of their relationship dynamics, and also a parallel with Win and Ton Kla's own Ep.3 turn in the sheets later, that revealed so much about their characters in the vein of show-don't-tell.

Ep.2's tryst between Korn and Fasai was also missing, as was (inexplicably) the conversation between Korn and a smoking Great in Ep.1. I can only presume it was Great's cigarettes that caused that scene to be snipped, because other scenes also had alcohol and ciggies all blurred out. Highly annoying, but anyway – I finally found out what was going on with Viu Premium, so if anyone else is having trouble finding Sultrier, I will share some tips in a different post.

And with that out of the way, I finally got to watching the unbutchered 4 Minutes – and I'm finding it smart, sexy and oh-so stylish in the mold that we've come to expect from Be On Cloud. Sumptuous cinematography and visuals are now quite a BoC hallmark, that started with KinnPorsche and continued in Man Suang – and 4 Minutes so far has been a delight to take in, a cinematic and super-twisty supernatural thriller overflowing with signs, symbols and scenes (possibly) pregnant with hidden meaning, so much so that the fandom is all a-flutter, me included.

Directing (and editing) has been taut, and I think Director Ning Bhanbhassa Dhubthien does much better when given free rein (unsaddled by screenwriting duties, and P'Pond maybe! 🤣) My take is colored by Man Suang – its huge potential for intellectual engagement (all that historical drama and political intrigue!) was unfortunately not developed to a satisfying extent; its most potent elements were given insufficient screentime, watering down what could have been a truly juicy experience for the viewer. Perhaps it might have done better as a mini-series with a longer timeframe for the developments to unfold, but that's a remake for another day perhaps.

Anyway, back to 4 Minutes. They've been really stoking the furnace with clues to the truth underlying the narrative, and fan theories abound as to what it all might mean while we breathlessly await revelation.

So I can only guess at some of the stuff, and nod at some of the visuals. But here's some of what I've picked up on.

The title 4 Minutes (especially with so many references in Ep.1 to cardiac arrest) is quite likely a nod at the widespread belief that when the heart stops beating, you only have four minutes to start resuscitation before the process of brain death begins to set in. (I'm seeing a lot of different opinions about this online, with some sources insisting the window of time is much longer. But there are enough mentions of the four-minute deadline in more than a few Thai sources that I think this is probably the intended significance, especially since screenwriter Sammon is also a medical doctor who would know of this notion's currency in popular culture. Here's an example in Thai media: CPR กู้ชีวิต ก่อนสมองตายใน 4 นาที/CPR saves life before brain death in 4 minutes.)

After the four minutes are up, it is too late to save the stricken patient – so there is a sense of urgency underlying the notion. (For another work that plays on this, see Madonna's song 4 Minutes where the urgency being messaged is about saving the planet instead.)

But with cardiac arrest, the premise is that even when corporeal death is signaled (cessation of the heartbeat being the traditional marker of this), a person's life-force still has that small window of time for human intervention to make a difference, a sort of ultimate last chance beyond the final frontier, if you will.

This aligns somewhat with what we're seeing of Great's do-overs, each time he is thrust back four minutes into the past. But I think there's also a bit more to it, based on what we're seeing in Episode 3.

Among all the fan theories online, this one by @myezblog caught my eye: Theory - plot is pretty much revealed.

Now, whenever Great is alone, we see that his clocks reset (and Great is aware of this too, by Ep.3). In Ep.1, his clock showed 11:00am (at timestamp 05:00, after his call with Title). And in Episode 2 we were shown Great's clock turning to 11:01 at timestamp 35:06, and in Episode 3 it went to 11:02 (timestamp 41:37).

But the ominous 11 o'clock actually put in an appearance even before these instances. Looking back, at the start of Episode 1 we were shown that the patient in the Emergency Department Resus bay basically flatlined at 11:00 – that was their time of death.

If it's really Great whose heart stopped on that Resus trolley in Ep.1, what we appear to be seeing is a flashback of events playing in his head, leading up to the time of his cardiac arrest (11:00).

And what his clocks are showing him (and us) whenever he's alone during that flashback is basically a countdown of the four minutes that he has, before he is brought back (hopefully) or is gone forever (I hope not – it wouldn't be much of a series then!).

So in the coming episodes, we should be watching for Great's clocks to tick up to the 11:04 mark – that is likely the time horizon when Great is jolted back to the present, hopefully having learnt some lessons reviewing his past that will be key to solving his conundrums in the present and the future.

[suzy-queued]

DVD Commentary: Out of Nowhere

I got a request from @doshiart for behind-the-scenes commentary from Out of Nowhere. @shamelessdvdcommentary

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc) 86,511 words, 15-chapters. I wrote it between November 2022 - January 2024.

What was the initial inspiration for your story? I love murder ballads. I love graphic novels. So when I saw the book In the Pines at my local library, I snatched it up. This book takes old murder ballads and turns them into short stories, told in graphic format. My favorite one was "Where the Wild Roses Grow," based on the Nick Cave song.

I took some very loose elements from this story: A secluded property, a guy escaping from prison, a person protecting their family's gold. The prisoner wooing the gold protector in order to get close enough to rob them. Doesn't that scream Gallavich?

In the murder ballad there's, well, murder. The prisoner dies by the end. Boy, was I tempted to do that in my story.

What was your favorite scene to write? In each story, there's a scene that pops in my head early on that I base the whole setup around. It's the one that I'm gleefully waiting to write. For this story, it was the "cleaning guns" scene in chapter 7, when the sexual tension is high and Ian tantalizes Mickey as he works.

How did you come up with the title? My favorite murder ballad of all time is "El Paso" by Marty Robbins. There's a line in that song, "From out of nowhere, Felina has found me."

The placeholder title was "Gallagher Gold."

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice? I made this note early on: "Ian has a high PHYSICAL IQ. Mickey has a high VISUAL IQ." I used that to make character decisions throughout. Ian was good with his body and his posture. He was good at carrying things and balancing things, climbing and shooting. Mickey was obsessive about patterns and puzzles and solving challenges.

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this? Chapter 13, oh my god. That's the hardest thing I've ever written. I was dreading it for months. It's a tense culmination of everything the story has been building to: love, betrayal, physical and emotional pain. The land gets torn up, and so does their relationship. I overcame it by taking lots of deep breaths and writing small chunks every day. I made sure that every sentence was exactly what I wanted to convey, without letting the prose take its own (lazier) path.

Favorite line in the story? “I’m not a fucking Viper.”

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story? When I started this story, I was sure that I didn't want to do another long multi-chap fic. I outlined it as a 5-chapter short, maybe 30,000 words. Then the "what if" whispers started happening, and it grew to a full 15-chapter outline. Most of the chapters had very short descriptions. One was just "fun and games on the land." One was just "This wasn’t supposed to happen, Gallagher."

Other possible settings included: an abandoned church with a small cemetery, and old hospital, a forgotten amusement park. I wrote "somewhere old-timey that would have land."

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterization, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc) The art! I had so much fun with it. I based the style off the old Penguin classics, like the Grapes of Wrath cover below. (Where they had the little penguin, I put the double-triangle Viper tattoo). I'm also showing my concept sketch for chapter 1 art.

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share? I hand-wrote the story first, and it filled two notebooks:

Here are some research shots on the land and the equipment:

I took this photo while I was working. Welcome to the inside of my brain:

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add? I was itching to dramatize more of Ian and Mickey's lives while they were apart. It would have been fun to have 5-6 chapters of them learning to be whole humans again. But ultimately, that wouldn't serve the story. I did a time jump instead.

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc? The story is set in Fox River Grove. This entirely happened because @lalazeewrites introduced me to the town in their comments on Estate of Blood and Trust. So the events of EOBAT and OON are taking place in neighboring towns!

Did you have a beta or a friend who helped you as you wrote? @mzshko helped me figure out the best way to structure chapters 2 & 3. She was patient enough to read an alternate fully-written version of both chapters and tell me which option worked best.

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story? Three months into writing this story, I stopped and did a self-analysis because it wasn't igniting. I wrote, "Could it be that I haven't put enough of myself into it?" So I re-evaluated and dug deeper and made it as personal as I could.

I can't emphasize enough how interwoven details of my own life were in this story. I helped my dad install that big aluminum gate in the woods. I used 5-gallon jugs of water to brush my teeth and sponges to bathe. I washed clothes by hand and cooked on a propane stove. I hauled and stacked logs from fallen trees. I had a love/hate relationship with my family's land and ached to be back in civilization, like Ian. My dad used to tell me bedtime stories about escaped prisoners (Mickey?!) roaming the woods and killing small children.

This story is a love letter to my dad, who was dying the entire time I was writing. He passed away in May of 2024.

This is open to all writers! Pick your favorite story you’ve written or your most popular or the one you think deserves some more love! Or ask your followers to suggest their favorite fic of yours!

[themadsquirrel09]

Eric and Kenny: the paranormal connection (Season 1 to 7)

Some of this has been explored in analysis like this one, but I wanted to look into Eric's and Kenny's mystical connection 🪄

The transplant

Eric steals Kenny's eyes 〰 S3E3 ☆ The Succubus

There are real life stories about people having personality changes after organ transplants.

"The most intriguing finding involved 'disconnected memories.' Several recipients reported vivid memories that seemed unrelated to their past experiences. These memories often involved sensory details, potentially linked to the organ donor."

I think it is also implied that Eric's optometrist is actually a monster (?).

The view of the fandom: For what I've noticed, it is a common headcanon that Kenny and Eric are connected since the transplant. There are fanartist who draw Cartman with heterochromia, mostly keeping one eye brown, or hazel, and the other blue.

I have heard mismatched eyes can be related to being able to see "the other world". Seems like Native American cultures believe people or animals with different colored irises see heaven and earth at the same time; in the pagan traditions of Europe, this was associated with witchcraft. I could not find a reliable source for this, though.

If you are wondering, eyes do not change color because of a transplant, or at least not like that; but it looks great and I think it works because it is South Park: weird things happens there.

We get to see that Kenny has blue eyes on S01E08 ∣ Starvin' Marvin. And Princess Kenny has purple eyes.

Kenny could actually have both; it is said Liz Taylor's eyes shifted color between blue and purple.

Through Kenny's eyes, Wizard Cartman has blue eyes!

Ghost message

Kenny dies in the movie and he appears to Eric as a ghost 〰 South Park: Bigger, longer, uncut.

This analysis is one I haven't found! So why is Eric is the only one who can see Kenny's ghost in the movie? or is the right question: why does Kenny only shows himself to Eric?

Let's explore some possibilities:

Eric is the only who can see Kenny because he has his eyes. It makes sense and the Succubus episode airs before the movie. For what I've found, this is usually the view of the fandom.

Kenny and Cartman have unfinished business. Since they made a bet just before the death! Kenny won the bet, but Cartman didn't pay. Some believe people with unfinished business are stuck and connected to the person who owes them.

It is said that ghosts and demons target the weakest: Cartman is a psycho, yes, also a very lonely child. In this scene Liane is singing to Eric, he asks her to keep going, but she "has to save her voice for work". Before she goes, Eric confronts about the porno video: she lies to him and goes away. Right after that, Kenny appears.

I think the V-chip could also have something to do, since electricity is shocking Cartman every time he curses and ghost are detected as electromagnetic changes in the ambience. It is a bit far fetched (?), but maybe he was working as a medium thanks to the chip.

Because it's funny! The idea of Cartman intimidated by Kenny is just something to giggle to.

1 body, 2 souls

Eric drinks Kenny's ashes and shares his body with him for almost a month 〰 A Ladder to Heaven ☆ S6E12 to The biggest douche in the universe ☆ S6E15.

I mean, wow. Cartman does not only access his memories, he feels like Kenny and sees through his eyes.

And what about what Kyle says? Is that just a fat joke, or could he be referencing the animated postcard that initiated South Park? If you watch it, you see a boy who looked like Cartman, but he was called Kenny. He dies.

They both die.

The name of a person can be important in literature and magic. Long ago, some people didn't revealed their name because it was believed that if other knew it, they could have power over them. An animation which references this is Spirited away (2001).

The awakening

The way Kenny awakes is awesome! This memory makes him speak up throughout Eric:

Kenny awakes at the the third time he shouts "Shut up Cartman, you blood-belching vagina!".

If you like horror, you probably have read or seen this: the act of repeating something 3 times can be a way to summon something or someone. We also get to see this on S11E10 ∣ Hell on Earth 2006!

Kenny was so willful to stand up for himself that he took control over Eric's body just to be heard; at the end of the episode, something similar happens:

After Kenny and Cartman start sharing a body, it all escalates. We see Kenny overpowering the speech and actions. After almost a month, Eric is dying because of this and they have to exorcise him.

My curse is to remember

Lets consider that Eric remembers Kenny's deaths and also a bunch of stuff he should not! 〰 Volcano ☆ S1E3, Cartmanland ☆ S5E6, and others.

The boys go camping and Cartman starts playing with a gun, but it sounds like he is having war flashbacks. Stan says he is lying and of course he could be right, but what if Eric does remember? Pasts lives, Kenny's deaths and who knows what else.

Even if it has never been confirmed, it all points towards the fact that Cartman remembers Kenny's deaths. Here you find my favorite evidence compilation.

Eric seems to be the only one who knows Kenny dies, also he tries to do something about it sometimes. In the End of obesity special we have him trying to reach for Kenny's hand.

Of course, Cartman remembering this kind of stuff can just be a gag, it also aligns with his character as he is some sort of trickster: on cartoon, the most likely archetype to know things they shouldn't, or break the 4th wall.

With South Park, this can be relevant or not, we don't know because of its negative narrative, which I love!

I do think Kenny and Cartman' s paranormal connection is there and their destiny is intertwined by the narrative, but only time will tell.

This was made for the @kenmanweek2023 💘

[traincat]

hello!! i reaally wanted to write a fic centered around johnny and mayhaps the rest of the f4, but i haven't read many of their comics yet and i don't wanna accidentally make them too ooc. can you gimme some tips on characterization please???

also hey, here's the anon who asked u about f4 characterization. which comics would you recommend in terms of best characterization??

Hey anon, sorry for the wait! So honestly I've been thinking a lot about characterization and I think this is a general rule but also it goes especially for comic characters who have been written by so many people over the years -- there's never going to be one branch of "in character." Everything is filtered through every writer's experiences at all times. So I think an important thing is to look at your characterization and ask yourself whether it feels right and real to you. Ultimately, you're the one who has to be happy with it.

I also think the way "in character" is treated sometimes in fandom isn't necessarily helpful. As an example: say it's common practice in Made Up Fandom to say Character A never cries. If you have him cry in fic it's out of character, says snide tweet 2024 to eight billion likes. And like, sure, maybe Character A cries a lot in some fic and not so much in canon, but the thing is everyone cries. It's not particularly useful from a characterization standpoint to say "Character A never cries." It's more helpful to go, "In what situation do I think Character A would cry? What would push him to tears? Does he cry when he's happy, sad, angry?" When I wrote Work Song, I needed a scene where Peter broke down and revealed everything, which was a problem because he's not Mr. Let Other People Help. So I took the time to push him into a corner where I felt it was organic that the character would share his problems. It's easy to go "X is out of character" but not constructive. It stretches your muscles more to try and figure out how to get X to a point where what you want to happen is in character. Go with your instincts; they're usually pretty good and they're something that will only get better the more you use them.

Also, and your mileage may vary on this one, but what's useful for me is to kind of look at characterization as excavation -- you're digging up something, uncovering it piece by piece. You can see the ground layer but now you've got to break through underneath it. For characters who have been in hundreds of issues like Johnny, I like to hit up really weird little single issues or lesser known series. There's this one issue that's formatted as one of those Wizard Magazine interviews where Johnny lists his three favorite movies as two installments of a Simon Williams action piece that would be equivalent to the MCU-style movies and also Titanic, and that one has always stuck with me as a really fun detail. Or there's a Marvel Knights 4 issue where every other word out of Johnny's mouth is a reference to a horror movie.

(Marvel Knights 4 #26) Thanks Johnny. Another Johnny thing I really like to keep in mind is that what's going on underneath and what's going on on the surface are not necessarily the same thing. Johnny can come off selfish, entitled, immature, or uncaring, but there's a deep volcano of compassion inside there. He's a very emotional character, which is something that's always fun to write.

I also find repetition really helpful when I'm trying to get the basics of a character down, which, again, might not be helpful for anyone else. Or it might only be useful for certain characters -- it's a lot easier to reread twenty issues than two thousand. I love my reference folder because a lot of times I'll remember some line or little canon thing and want to look it up and read it again. If you don't like saving panels from comics, just writing down what issue something is in is helpful, too. But that's just what works for me.

For Johnny specific comics, I have a bunch of Fantastic Four comics recs here (note that the "current run" I advise against in this post is Slott's run and not North's) and here! I hope you find some comics that you love and that you write the Johnny fic of your dreams!

[jesuisgourde]

Okay, All Quiet On The Eastern Esplanade is out in the states, so time for a listen and a rambling track by track reaction. I'm listening to the whole album through and writing my thoughts, and then listening to it once more and adding any other observations.

I've already heard Run Run Run, and like I said before, it feels very classic Carl track. It's very catchy. I think I have the same complaint as everyone else, which is that it feels over-produced. No one should autotune the Libs, the whole point is that they're a bit wonky. Also I don't like that they've fucked with the equalizer and the vocals sound weirdly muffled? Also, upon this listen-through, this song reminds me a little of Frank Turner, which is a weird musical callback to like 2012. My favorite thing in any song is when the instrumentals cut out and it's just drums and vocals, so I love that as the ending of the song. This whole album has so many varied cultural references which I find very entertaining. Does Peter yell "Get your pants off" or "Get your hands off"?

Already I like the lyric to Mustangs A LOT. Feeling a Lou Reed influence there. Love Peter's high-pitched backing vocals and also the Pigman reference. I really love Libs songs where it's just a little scene set to music. And this is exactly that, in such a good way. Again, not a fan of the mixing. What is it with producers these days and mixing so shittily that the vocals get lost in the background instruments, and everything gets muddied? I had the exact same complaint with the last Manics album. Anyway, love the little jokey bits at the end. The second verse about the nun is such fantastic imagery. (Lastly, I thought it was Mustang, singular? But it's plural on Spotify?)

I Have A Friend has an AMAZING chorus I love it. Also that solo guitar bit from Carl right after, I literally could see him hopping up and down in my head. Love Peter's rolled R's. Okay, upon listening the second time round I really really really like this song. The lyrics are incredible. I think they're my favorite on the album. Social commentary but also absolutely beautiful and amazing imagery.

Merry Old England has a bit of a Hamburg Demonstrations vibe to it, which I love. The further I get into this song, the more I love it. It's such a creative and sarcastic critique of Tory policies and all that. Again, I've criticisms about the mixing. Also the pretty violins makes me miss Miki Beavis's wonky violin in Madres, which I think suits Peter/The Libs way better. Still, they add a nice touch.

Ohhh I love Man With The Melody, the clear pretty vocals. I like that each of the Libs have their own verse, that's so cool! Fuck the autotuning though. I really like this song. Melodically it sounds like a sequel to Milkman's Horse, and thematically a sequel to Fame And Fortune. It sounds like a "reply" or a look back at Anthems. Very pretty, with the lovely piano and minimalist guitar.

Hahahha Oh Shit! feels soooooo early 2000s American pop, in a fun way. It reminds me of something but I can't quite put my finger on it. Something that was on the radio a lot in like 2003 or 2004 maybe? This is clearly a Fun Song, like a slosh your drinks around while dancing all goofy type song. Peter's "And that was the news today" at the end is so silly. I think this track is my least favorite but it is fun.

I already know I love Night Of The Hunter. Firstly because anything that uses the Swan Lake motif has my heart instantly. But also because I love the lyrics, I love when Peter writes songs about noir-type vignettes. Finally, some good shared vocals that aren't drowned out by instruments. Gosh, I love the lyrics of this song, I love the dual meaning in that it is technically about an actual noir film but could easily be talking about Peter's past as well. I really like that the lyrics get priority on this one and the instrumentals are pushed back in the mix with the Swan Lake motif coming forward sometimes. It feels like it needs that minimalism.

The guitar on Baron's Claw is already great from the start. I hear Peter's taking a leaf out of Daniel Darc's book with the close-in breathy vocals, which I'm so into because since I learned about Daniel Darc from Peter and Frederic Lo I've actually fallen in love with his music too. Melody-wise it's very close to The Glassblower from the Fantasy Life album, which is my favorite song off that album, so I'm not surprised I like this song too. I like the story in the song and I like the jazzy brass and piano and Peter's vocals. It feels like it's being sung in a smoky jazz bar. This one is so good.

Shiver is sooo catchy. I find myself humming it sometimes at work even though I haven't yet absorbed all the lyrics in my memory. This is also the real "Libertines mythology" song, so of course it's good. The fact that the lyrical subject matter is made up only of criticizing the monarchy and talking about specific Libertines lore is just so them. It's so short, though! I wish it were longer!

The guitar on Be Young is so chaotic lol. It reminds me of Horrorshow a bit. Okay, actually this whole song is chaotic. Melodically, lyrically, it sounds like they were crashing around in the studio while recording, which is very fun. The random calypso bridge bit is so....random! I like it, just a surprise in terms of musical style change. Suddenly they're the Clash! A fun way to pay homage to influences, I think. Also Carl yelling "Woo!" and then collapsing into a cough at the end is really really funny.

I can definitely hear the early-ness of Songs They Never Play On The Radio. You can tell the scaffolding is there from that early set of Libertines-to-Shambles transition songs like East Of Eden/Love Reign Over Me/Merry Go Round etc. I really really like the guitar on this one. And the vocals are so nice. Again I don't like the mix, where Peter's voice is a bit overtaken by the muddiness of the backup singers and instrumentals. But I do like this song a lot. The lyrics are pure Libertines mythology. Ahahah the dogs howling! The bit of acoustic and messing about and chat, I really like that. I think it's a really lovely ending to the album, just a glimpse of them obviously being friends and having fun. It's like a beautiful reply to the question "What became of the likely lads?"

As I've only listened through the album in full twice at this point, I'm sure my thoughts will change over time. But at the moment I think my favorite is torn between Night Of The Hunter and Baron's Claw. I Have A Friend and Songs They Never Play also are just so lyrically good. Least favorite is definitely Oh Shit. I'm excited to see which songs grow on me and in what ways.

[adoroborosgoth]

Crowley dying in s3

I wasn't sure how to start this meta. I've had this theory with possible (big possible) evidence sitting around for ages and I just didn't know what to do with the information.

After I'd already had this information, I only seen a hand full of others talk about it, but none have touched on it in the same way as the things I've found in my research.

So let's get on with it. For reference I'm going to tag @nightingalecottage and their lovely post here. I really recommend reading it. This theory only saw the light of day because of their post and I told them I would tag them with my meta since it lends a lot to it. And I promised myself that I would finish this for them.

Now for the meat and potatoes. I'll break it all down about how I found this information and how it might lend some theory about possible plot to s3.

This got really long so I put a cut.

-Silly narrator voice-

The facts were these.

To start I was doing research for a fic I'm working on and the details don't matter much but I'd planned to make my 'human' crowley a barrister. I was googling famous barristers for inspiration.

This lead me to wikipedia naturally as you do. And as I was looking over the list I saw this.

After seeing this name on the list of barristers in popular culture I had a mini freakout. Mainly because two things NG is a huge fan of Charles Dickens and A Tale of Two Cities is on the bookclub reading list. And I kept thinking why did this seem familiar and this is why.

A Tale of Two Cities is on the list of books that they recommend we read or were found in s2. So after I stopped freaking out I immediately went to the wiki page for this character. I wasn't too familiar with this book so I wanted to know more. As I was now super invested and intrigued. And found this.

Sydney Carton

I couldn't help be blown away by the similarities here between Sydney Carton and a certain depressed snake demon from s2. Morosely asking Shax on a bench in the first episode "What's the point of it all?"

For some context, in the novel Sydney Carton and his later best friend Charles Darnay share a striking semblance and are easily mistaken for each other. This is how Sydney is then able to make the switch with Darnay in the end saving his life.

This brings to mind of the lore that we know that Crowley and Aziraphale were once long ago one character and split into two. Also with the ideal casting choice that Terry Pratchett wanted one actor to play both roles. That would have been really interesting and funny. Also this plays into our favorite duo MS and DT having not worked together before because they were up for the same roles.

Let's move on to

Charles Darnay

Darnay resents his uncle's views much how Aziraphale resents certain aspects of heaven, but is never able to act on very much.

The note about Darnay being tutor of French made me chuckle considering what we know about Aziraphale being terrible at French. With that whole scene centered around it in s2.

Ok so we all are well versed and familiar with the famous Bastille scene. We all know the one and its clear the inspiration here for it comes from A Tale of Two Cities possibly.

Side note Darnay and Carton are both in love with Lucie here, but I posit that in the case of Good omens, Aziraphale is possibly both Darnay and Lucie. Making him the best friend and love intrest.

Lucie Manette

And finally why does any of this matter and what does this have to do with Crowley maybe dying in s3 you ask?

The one important detail in all of this is that at the end of the novel Carton heroically sacrificed himself to save his best friend and for the women he loves. He feels it gave him purpose and felt as if his life finally had meaning.

Two things here. The scene in which Carton swaps places with Darnay being able to pass as him well enough to save his life. Is very reminiscent of our Body Swap from s1. As well as the idea that in s3 this could also happen, but in the sense that Crowley does it to save Aziraphale's life. I clearly have no idea how s3 will play out.

Now I'm not saying that s3 will be as dramatic as all of this. It is still a comedy at its core. As others have touched on in meta and in nightingalecottage's post there are many little hints that point to the similarities and the idea that Crowley maybe doomed by the narrative. In a way, I personally don't think that Crowley's hypothetical death will be permanent. I just do not see that happening at all. A temporary death I could definitely see and it could also serve to show how much Crowley truly means to Aziraphale. The shock of it would maybe be similar to how Crowley thought he lost Aziraphale in s1 and could be a parallel.

In the end this is all speculation and theory. Either way the idea of it all makes me vibrate and I needed to finally share this with someone else. They wouldn't have recommended this book if there wasn't some sort of meaning here right? And its entirely possible I'm looking in the wrong direction.

Overall there are many parallels and similarities here between A Tale of Two Cities and certain parts of Good Omens, I'm sure I may have missed some and I just wanted to end this now before it gets too long. If you made it this far and have any other theories or something you want to add on to this please feel free to tag me. I release this into the void.