#byameliak

[colorisbyshe]

@byameliak replied to your post: “@byameliak replied to your post: “I mean if your friendship is...”:

yeah I feel you. like I wonder if they're just now having a really deep friendship or something?? I understand people's urge to like want a relationship or whatever bc people do put that kind of pressure on you but idk..my life got a lot better when we decided to stop trying to force a Relationship on what we had, which was a good friendship. I feel like the qpp label put constraints on something that's meant to be sort of nebulous

Nebulous is honestly a great word to describe it. Like I feel like beacuse of the way the media presents romance/sexuality, sometimes people do feel the need to wonder WHY they aren't seeking 'more' from their strong friendships and try to force shit but like... idk getting older and realizing relationships (platonic or otherwise) are what you make them and like going along with what feels natural vs inorganically trying to label everything and categorize your relationships has been A Journey but a good one. Like... each friendship has its own standards and natural progression and boundaries. Just as I have friends I don't even feel comfortable making prolonged eye contact with, there are friends I would take a bullet for. Recognizing those relationships exist on a spectrum and are just... different is fine! I don't need to be like "friend a. is actually a quasi-acquaintance pal while friend b. is my life platonic partner." We can just... exist.

[safetybuzz]

byameliak replied to your post: can you all believe somebody just reblogged one of...

marc bergevin has Tumblr?

he def has a blackhawks fan blog somewhere

[mikerichrds]

Patrick Roy or Ken Dryden

oh mannn i wanna say dryden but i also wanna say roy??? no i’ll go with dryden he’s pretty cool (and iconic imo) and roy is kind of a dick lmao

[edourado]

Kastle + 31? 👌🏻❤️

Hello, there, dear darling! Here I am with the filled prompt that I’m pretty sure you forgot ever asking. 

I’m so sorry for this ridiculous delay. Last year was crazy, there was so much going on, I didn’t have the time and the will and the inspiration. But here I am, now, and I do hope you like it. To refresh your memory, the prompt was “the way you said I love you, #31: In awe, the first time you realised it”.

I do hope you enjoy it. It’s not particularly big, I’m trying to learn how to write shoter things. 

Now, I’ll let you read. Hope you like it. Let me know. 

Muah ;-*

                                                      I’ll worship

Frank sits there on her couch - a place he came to know well - and wraps a bandage around her arm, near her shoulder.

“What kind of knife was it?” he asked, his brow furrowed, still mad, so fucking mad it actually hurt for him to sit here and not storm out after the fucker who had attempted to stab her not half an hour ago.

She let out an angry sigh, and he doesn’t know where she gets off being angry. He’s the one with his heart in his throat, having to breathe deep to calm down, she’s the one who did exactly what she was told not to do and got jumped by a violent stoner.

“God, I don’t know what kind of knife, Frank, I’m not a weapon’s expert. What difference does it make, anyway? It was a sharp one.”

He closed his eyes for one second, breathing deep, trying to calm down.

“And you’re sure he only got your arm?”

Another dramatic, insolent sigh.

“As I told you the last 27 times: yes.”

“I’m trying to make sure you’re ok, if you haven’t noticed”. He wraps the gauze around her arm one more time, making sure the bandage is secure and her wound is not bleeding.  

“It was just a scratch, Frank, you’re over reacting!”

“Over reacting?! I walk in and there’s a man lunging at you with a goddamn knife, ma’am, please explain to me how is this not the appropriate reaction!”

His voice is louder, now. He doesn’t mean to shout at her, but he needs to do something, otherwise he’s gonna explode.

“You seem to forget that I handled it pretty well!” she responds, yanking her arm away, getting up, pacing to the kitchen. “I was the one who jumped out of the way, I was the one who knocked him out, not you!”

He understood what she meant. It was the same point she has been trying to make for almost two years, now, that she can take care of herself, and he knows it, he knows it, but he still tries to twist her words in that particular moment, because he was so mad, he was so fucking mad at her.

Yes, she could take care of herself, he knew that, of course he did, but that didn’t stop him from worrying. Didn’t stop his heart from trying to leap out of his chest at the hint of a threat to her. So he got up, too, apologising, oh so sarcastically, for not arriving in time to save her, forcing her to save herself.

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it! Why are you being this way?”

They argued for what felt like hours, but it was, in reality, a little more than ten minutes. They both knew and understood where the other was coming from, but they were both so stubborn, so determined to make their own point, that the fight went on. And on. Until she closed the bathroom door with a bang and he heard the shower starting.

He paced for the whole time she was in there, breathing, trying to do that thing where you close your eyes and focus on the air coming in and out of your lungs, urging himself to calm down, he doesn’t want to fight, he doesn’t want to make her mad.

He just wants her safe.

Before he can change his mind, Frank walks to the bathroom door and knocks.

“What?” came the angry reply from inside.

“Let me in”, he asked, willing his voice to remain low and calm.

After almost twenty seconds of hesitation, the lock turned, but the door remained shut. Turning the knob, he walked in, watching her silhouette from behind the shower curtain. He takes a step towards it, but she closes the shower and pulls her robe from the rack. Frank notices the movement is not as violent as it could be, but not exactly delicate, either.

“Ma’am”, he starts.

“Please don’t ‘ma’am’ me”, she says from behind the curtain.

She has as strange relationship with that term. Sometimes she likes it, sometimes she hates it. He’s still trying to identify and separate those situations, but  it seems to go with her mood, so far.

When she pushes the curtain back, the robe is tight around her waist, and her hair is pushed back, finger combed. Her cheeks are red from the steam.

Her eyes meet his and screw it. He’ll apologise. He’s right, but he’ll apologise because he already thought something was going to happen to her not an hour ago, that constant fear that he lived with, that she was going to get hurt, killed, taken away from him suddenly, that he was going to live through that again, it was almost real. He can’t take her being angry at him on top of that.

Well, he can. But he doesn’t want to.

“Look, I’m-”

“No, Frank, listen.”

She takes a step to him and she’s actually a bit shorter than him without her heels. With her hands rubbing her face for a seconds, a sigh and and her eyes on his face, she blinks.

“I’m sorry. I know you worry, and I know you mean well. It’s just-”

Frank reaches for her and stops her.

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry, too.”

She has been through some shit, Karen. He has his demons, his tragic past, but so does she. They could talk about it, now, with each other, it doesn’t hurt as bad as it used to, but just as he has the sudden, violent death of his wife and kids to carry around with him everyday, so does she, with her brother. And he knows she cannot stand being treated like a child or a helpless maiden, so yes, he’ll apologise, even if he does plan on returning to that point later, to ty and explain to her, again, why she should be more careful.

“I didn’t mean to shout at you”, he says and is glad to see the small tug on the corners of her mouth, a reluctant smile appearing.

“Considering that you shot at me the first time we met, I don’t think this was so bad.”

With an annoyed click of his tongue, but a relieved huff of breath, he shifts his weight to his other foot and reached out to pull her to him, catching her face between his hands, looking at her with a sudden surge of… Well. Huh. Fuck.

“I hate that you keep bringing that up”, he says, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs.

“I like it. I think it’s exciting.”

Her hands close around his fists and just that simple but intimate touch was enough to have him sighing, as if all the tension and the stress were pouring out of him, evaporating with the steam of her shower.

“I’m sorry I was a dick”, he says, touching his forehead to hers and Karen rises to place a soft kiss on his lips.

“And I’m sorry I was careless. I’ll be more careful. Ok?”

When he nods, pressing another kiss to her mouth, and another, she takes his hands from her face and steps around him.

“Take your shower, I’ll work on dinner.”

“Come with me”, he tries, but she’s already closing the door behind her.

“Tomorrow, maybe”, she decides.

He could use the shower to relax, enjoy the pressure of the water hitting his shoulders, let the day go down the drain with the filth. He doesn’t. Shampoo and soap and scrub, scrub, scrub, rinse, rinse, rinse, dry, a towel around his hips and he’s out, looking for her, the weight of his sudden realization too heavy on his chest.

He stops for a second at the door, looking at her, standing there fixing whatever for their dinner, hair brushed back, wet blond strands almost shining against the white t shirt she only ever wore for bed. It was a man’s shirt, not even his, he didn’t know who it belonged to before her. Maybe her brother, maybe an ex-boyfriend, maybe she just bought it oversized because she knew how good she looked in it, maybe she was predicting, even before she met him, that he would love the sight of her bare legs when she wore it, the hem brushing her thighs, exposing her bottom if she lifted her arms.

How on Earth did he keep getting this lucky? Frank was not a particularly good man, he used to thank the heavens for Maria everyday. And now, after all his faith was obliterated and he thought he was doomed to walk the rest of his days alone, he gets her. He gets Karen, all to himself, and if that’s not proof that there is a God that, for some reason, likes Frank, he doesn’t know what is.

Or maybe she’s God herself. He wouldn’t be surprised.

Walking to her, he feels a lump in his throat that, he knows, will dissolve as soon as he touches her. He knows, because it happens all the time. She dissolved his horrors, his terror, his fear and his worry. She dissolved him under her fingers, her lips, under her smile and her tongue, only to put him back together with a look, her arms and legs around him, every time she opened the door.

Frank stops behind her and weaves his left arm around her waist, bringing her back to his chest, burrowing his nose inside her hair, right hand on the counter.

“It’s almost ready”, she informs him, cocking her head under his lips, left hand quickly stroking the arm around her before going back to her task.

“Ok”, he says, feeling almost dizzy as the truth and the depth of his devotion becomes clear to him. He breathes in and out slowly, enjoying her proximity, wondering, praying, for the millionth time, perhaps, that he’s not still in a coma, that this is as real as it feels, he has her. He has her. And, even if he is still trapped in a hospital bed, somewhere, he still does. He still feels, she’s still real. “I love you”.

It leaves his mouth like a prayer, like a promise, like something so simple and so clean, like the one beacon of light in an otherwise bleak, dark existence. He does, he loves her, and his brow furrows as he breathes her in again, just as she turns her head to look at him and, Lord, he wants to drop to his knees and worship, pray, thank whoever he has to thank for her, forever.

A smile that is nothing but divine spreads on her lips, and she blinks, and swallows and lifts her hands to wrap her arms around his neck, and he’s so close to her, he can feel her heart against his chest when he holds her back, so tight, and that moment stretches, the world stops spinning, just for them.

“I love you, too”, she whispers there in their small space, her apartment that became a sanctuary, a sacred place, the only place he can let go of all that makes The Punisher. “You know that, don’t you?”

He swallows, feeling light, lighter than he ought to feel. Smiles at her when she moves back to look at him.

“I do now.”

He should let go of her, so he could get dressed, so she could finish with the food, so they could eat and he could check on her arm.

But he holds her, holds her up in the air and Karen lowers her head to kiss him again, so slow, so full, so loving, tugging on his towel and he won’t let go.

Not ever.

[thesummerfox]

Five Things That Make Me Happy tag

I was tagged to do this by the very nice @emanationman, thank you!

books! I have far too many of them at this point and I can’t go into the city without venturing into a bookstore, but they’re my happy zone and I love them.

funny animal videos

trailers for new movies

the imminent Twin Peaks third season yay

that first moment when the weather gets warmer and it’s possible to venture outside without a jacket on

Tagging @carry-the-sky, @feel-like-im-fading, @nabokovsshadows, @evilbunnyking, @ltfrankcastle, @byameliak, @kalilat, @thepranksterguy, @maschinen-mensch, and @thediaryoflaurapalmer with apologies if you’ve already been tagged/hate this kind of tagging stuff. ^^

[islandoforder]

5 things that make me happy

tagged by @byameliak <3 thanks 

a nice cup of tea

dappled sunlight

that feeling you get when you finish a book you’ve been really enjoying

waking up and feeling properly well rested

watching a tv show that i love

tagging: @bi-dominusrex @mooitstimdrake @pagesofkenna (if u feel like, i’m not gonna call you out this time) and anyone else who wants to

[mosaicabstract]

Tagged by the lovely @lolahardy !

Rules: Answer the Qs and tag 9 people you want to get to know better.

How old are you? 22 turning 23 this year my man

Current Job? Currently (sadly but entirely by my own fault) unemployed, “fresh” out of college, disillusioned, looking for meaningful work...

What are you talented at? I can play guitar kind of. And piano. And viola. I’ve been told I’m an ok writer. I’ve been told I’m an excellent academic writer. I’ve been told I have a good head voice. I know pretty much every meaningless fact about every film in existence. I’m good at making people laugh.

What is a big goal you are working towards (or have already achieved)? Finding a job that fulfills me and also helps and empowers those around me where I still get to have a creative outlet. 

What’s your aesthetic? My aesthetic is the scene when Luke asks Yoda if Darth Vader is his father and Yoda just rolls over and tries to die

Do you collect anything? Books, petrified wood chunks from the woods next to my house, anxious thoughts

A topic you always talk about irl? Obscure French films from the 1950′s and food

Pet peeve? I hate when people chew but it’s actually a form of OCD like it’s an actual mental disorder that gives me a flight or fight reaction so I don’t know if you could call it a pet peeve. I also hate passive aggression too.

Good advice? Drink water, listen to good music, punch nazis and racists right in the fucking face

Recommend 3 songs: 

Genghis Khan - Miike Snow

Guillatine - Jon Bellion

Green Light - Lorde

(wow all of those start with G...)

Tagging: @heathledger @avengingpotter @aknightfornawt @sagemb @regular-lord-reckoner @hermeowyn @byameliak @coffeecupandcorgi @keziahdelaney

:)

[slimetony]

hey randy answer this publicly so people know boyhood took 12 years to make

yweah

[colorisbyshe]

@byameliak replied to your post: “I mean if your friendship is thinking you found The One and you'd be...”:

I literally have a kid with my friend who is also my ex, only because we felt like we had to date since we hooked up a few times before realizing we were friends, just with a sexual history. idk it's not that hard yall

I feel like people like my anon have extremely limited world views/experiences. Which like... isn't their fault but is also maybe something they should be a bit introspective on. There are literally infinite ways that friendship and sex and romance can intersect and depart from each other. Like... yes, intentionally having children with yoru friends isn't like the most common experience but it's also something that has been done before (especially within the LGBT community). Friendship isn't some box where's like "if you hang out for more than once a week and do anything more emotionally/physically intimate than talk about your netflix queues, you must be something else entirely and Not Friends."

[mikerichrds]

@byameliak !!! no need to apologize i appreciate it a lot !!!! thank u lol :^))

[thesummerfox]

I was tagged by the very lovely @byameliak, thank you! I know the rules are to tag 9 people but I’m not in a tagging mood so anyone who wants to do this can do it!

How old are you? 28, yikes

Current job? I do information management on-site with different companies on behalf of my employer.

What are you talented at? I’m apparently a pretty decent writer! My favourite talent is my memorisation skills, though.

What is a big goal you are working towards (or have already achieved)? I’m working toward getting a car and moving out of my parents’s house.

What’s your aesthetic? this and this! (Yes, I just linked you to my Pinterest. Hah!)

Do you collect anything? books!

A topic you always talk about irl? history, outer space, politics, pop culture

Pet peeve? slow walkers and people who stop in their tracks right in front of you, ughhh.

Good advice? seize the day because tomorrow you might be dead

Recommend 3 songs:

here, here, here.

[bethofbells]

byameliak replied to your post:there’s been a mosquito in my room for the last...

����

oh no, i haven’t updated my phone! i have no idea what those emojis are?!?!?

[thekastlediaries]

byameliak replied to your post “byameliak replied to your post “fadedtoblue replied to your post...”

I'm not a crossover fan either. In good hands maybe it'd work out but marvel tends to write themselves into a corner and there's still so much that needs to be wrapped up on the show if that's what they're doing. Fisk esp and I hope elektra but I'm worried that they'll be like "now what" with Karen and foggy and write them out or basically out so honestly...I just don't even know what they're doing. Of course, this leaves Karen open for punisher :P

honestly, my fantasy is that if Karen’s role on Daredevil is diminished in any way, they will make up for it by putting her in The Punisher in some capacity (it doens’t have to be romantic, i just want to see them interact, I think they bring out the best in each other characterwise. Every show needs multiple kinds of conflict, and I think Karen and Frank inspire inner-conflict within one another and that’s fascinating to me). Speculation is just so... useless I guess, since things are so far out at this point. We’ll know more of course after the next series posts, which I for one am looking forward to. Foggy is such an important character to have with Matt though, the voice of reason mixed with a little comic relief, that I can’t see them writing him out any time soon (even though I know it’s definitely possible if the comics are anything to go by). I love Foggy and Karen so much I would be hella disappointed if anything truly awful happened to their characters, or even if they were dropped by the wayside in favor of other storylines. As for Elektra, that ending had to have been a setup for DDS3, or possibly an Elektra storyline in one of the other shows, bc it so closely aligns with her comic book arc. As for Fisk... I imagine he’ll probably play a bigger role in the Punisher series??? but it’s just baseless speculation at this point.

[mosaicabstract]

byameliak

 who should i be shipping dick grayson with: a...

I was always rly into dick/babs but I’ve been out of the game for a while haha idek what other ships there are??

i think the main/canon ships are dick/babs and dick/kori but i’ve also been seeing some dick/jason around. i saw dick/bruce and i got so grossed out omfg no

there’s also dick/wally i believe

[nagia-pronounced-neijia]

byameliak replied to your post “Taking Prompts”

Could u do one that's like..mostly Frank thinking of Karen or dreaming about her, I know it's been done and stuff but it's my fave <3

(little dreams)

Frank's heard a lot of bullshit about dreams, over the years.  That they mean things and predict the future.  That they're just the brain's radio static way of entertaining itself while the body recharges.  That they're the brain's way of processing everything that's happening to it right now.

Of the three, he's not entirely sure which camp he falls into.   Well, except for the one about dreams predicting the future.  His dreams don't predict shit.  So of the two actually rational explanations, he's not sure which he buys into more.

He does know that he wishes he could stop dreaming about her.  Too many nights, he closes her eyes and sees her running in the hospital.  Coming cautiously toward him in the diner.  Stepping over the line in the hospital and shoving a picture of his family under his nose.

It's probably a sign that he's around her too much.

Except for the part where he's dead to her, where he's a dead man walking, and they haven't exchanged a word since he left her behind in the woods.  But she lingers in his life like a bruise he can't stop pressing on.

He shadows her through the city sometimes.  

It'd be best to just walk away entirely.  If she wants to get herself killed, that's her own business.  But she's pursuing the same thing as him and Red, just from a different angle.  Digging up the graves and turning over the headstones, exposing the city's secrets and lies and rot for all to see.

So he follows her through the city at night.  Keeps a scope trained on the streets around her building.  Puts down any shitbag ready to try and take Karen Page out of the equation.

And he dreams the smell of her hair.  The click of heels.  Her face, drawn and pale, eyes glazed over with confusion.  Her voice sharp with certainty.

Frank wishes he could stop.  But he knows that so long as he's her guardian sniper, she's going to stay in his head.  And like hell is he going to give up keeping her safe just for his peace of mind.

[jiilys]

#8 for fanfic ask meme!

how often do people catch onto your little details?

pretty often!! the people who read my stuff are amazing and they put stuff in the tags of what they’ve noticed and that is the actual best. tbh most of my ‘little details’are literally inside jokes with myself where i put something that has happened to me/i heard about in my stuff. i dont know thats just like the best bit almost?? like i published this thing but these two lines really happened to me and no one knows but me?? its cool and im lame

ask me questions abt fic