#cale henituse in denial

[mytragedyperson]

Thoughts I had while reading TCF chapter 12

Deputy butler hans was one of the first people to be victimised by Cale, idc. My man is just living in confusion at this point, and every time he tries to clarify, he gets nothing exept maybe more confusion.

Cale may not seem like trash anymore but he does seem 10x more insane and unhinged than before I’d say. Love that for him.

Hans is a really good judge of character actually. He’s the first to realise Cale is/could be dangerous. Good for him.

Love that Hans seeming ruder is actually just him calling Cale out for his bullshit. You go Hans. You’re like the one person who isn’t just an enabler and occasionally thinks to ask Cale what he’s actually doing. Sorry, I may have a bias for deputy butler Hans which is only made worse by the fact that, IMO, he isn’t talked about enough. Also, really he’s just more comfortable which we love to see. It’s just too bad that now he’s going to be living a life of confusion and obliviousness, but as long as he’s happy, that’s fine.

Honestly Cale being like really? This guy is the most reliable deputy butler we have? Well, I guess I’m taking him to the capital as well. Deruth is torn between being relieved that someone who reports to him is there to keep and eye on things and being upset because his favourite deputy butler is gone. This only gets worse when Cale decides to extend his trip. Also, I feel like Hans slowly starts leaving things out of his reports. Like he’s thinking “do I tell him the young master smuggled two people into the capital? Hmm. You know what, I don’t think I will.”

Ok so I saw something recently that was talking about Dragon people and how he hoards people and the trip to the capital is proof. He brings everyone he has some sort of bond or relationship with, and along the way collects a few more. He may not be a full dragon but I feel like he’s an honorary dragon at this point. Like there’s been an adoption process, but there’s a slight disagreement over who adopted who. Cale likes to think that, because it’s his group, he adopted the dragons as family members, and most of the dragons are happy to let him think that, because they find it cute, but really, let’s face it, they’ve adopted Cale. Yes, even Raon. Eventually, they settle on, we adopted each other. But my point was part of the reason Cale attracts Dragons, is because he’s already so similar to them, and he doesn’t try to control them, that I’ve seen. If they want to join him for a plan, or something, he’ll make it work, but he’s never forced Raon or Eruhaben to do anything from what I can remember. I might be wrong though. And because of this he’s an honorary Dragon and his hoard is people, and Ancient Powers, etc. honestly he just likes hoarding things in general, wealth, resources, information, people, secrets – his and other people’s.

But Cale is so precious. He says he wants Ron away from him, but if he doesn’t see him in a while, he always remembers to ask about him. Do you think he realises Ron is already part of his small hoard? Like, he clearly doesn’t but that just makes it cuter.

I love that we can figure out the relationship between Ron, Choi Han and Beacrox just form the couple scenes they’re in. like, we don’t see every interaction they have, but from the interactions we do see, we can, not only tell that things aren’t quite as smooth sailing as Cale hopes, but also infer what their other interactions that we don’t see are like. and then it cuts to Cale lik I’m so glad they’re getting along as expected. In some ways it reminds me of the this is fine meme. You know, the one where the house is on fire and they’re just like this is fine. Only Cale actually does think this is fine, and actually is oblivious to the house burning down.

And he’s so happy that his people are getting along, but sure, it’s because “this is just like the novel”. Sure, hun, we’ll let you believe that. As long as you’re happy, we’re happy. And so is Hans

And once again Hans is confused. Every time he tells Cale something he thinks is a good thing, it’s somehow not. Someone give this man a raise, he deserves it.

Look at Hans, so happy to be complimented, completely unaware that he’s just sealed his fate by confirming he knows 3 basic martial arts. Somehow, I feel like he won’t be that put out about it, not as much as he would’ve been on day one

Also the fact that Hans has just casually been holding the kittens this entire conversation. That sounds adorable. I love that. Also, am I just forgetting or have we not gotten a description of Hans’ appearance. I only ask because I want to be able to visualise him in scenes better.

Ok so I looked it up and oh my god, he looks so cute.

Honestly, The Fragrance of Tea with Poetry sounds so relaxing.

Also, Billos is part of the hoard, but you didn’t hear that from me because he doesn’t realise it yet and Cale is in denial.

Honestly I love Billos’s approach. It’s not I’m going to make them acknowledge me because I’m their son, it’s I’m going to make them acknowledge me as their son because I’m more important/better than them. You go Billos, I’m rooting for you.

Also I want to be clear, on my first read through, I only got to about chapter 150 -160, somewhere around there, Clopeh had only just been mentioned/introduced, but I took a break and then, when I came back, I couldn’t remember a thing that was going on, so if I say something I’ve heard about this story, that happens after that point, and it’s wrong, that’s why. My knowledge of it is coming from one reaction fic, set after all these events, starting at chapter 1. So it’s probably right, but I don’t know

Anyway, that being said, Cale not liking people who don’t fight for what theirs makes so much sense with both what I’ve heard of him as Kim Rok Soo, but also in general. He doesn’t realise it but he’s constantly fighting for what’s his, his people. I think that’s why him and Billos get along so well. They’re kinda similar in that they’re both ready and willing to fight for what’s theirs and if they can make a profit off it, even better.

God, Cale is so accepting. He doesn’t care whether you’re human or another race. Can you help him? Great. If it doesn’t get in the way of how useful a person is, he doesn’t care. And, honestly, even if it does, he doesn’t necessarily dislike them. He only dislikes things that get in the way of his slacker life, and that’s so real of him.

The real reason Cale isn’t around Billos that much is because Billos can see right through him and tell when he’s just pretending to be annoyed. That must be Cale’s worst nightmare. Wdym he can’t just pretend to be annoyed to hide how he really feels? Oh my god, Cage and Taylor do this too, can tell he’s actually a kind person. It makes so much sense. Everyone he tries to push away can see right through him, that’s why it doesn’t work, but that’s also why he tries in the first place. I was gonna say I know he wasn’t trying here but I stand by this, and I still do, because this is what Cale does, tries to push away those who see him as a good person, maybe in an attempt to protect them so they don’t get hurt. If something bad has happened to everyone he’s cared about, he wouldn’t want to care, but you can’t just stop yourself from caring, and Cale is a very caring person, so he does the next best thing, he pretends, tries to convince himself and everyone else that he doesn’t care and he’s just using people, and he’s managed to convince himself, but everyone else sees him for the caring person he really is. Maybe he’s not even lying when he calls himself selfish, maybe in his head caring about others and letting them stay around him is selfish because it could lead to something bad happening to them.

I’m sorry, even Billos, who, as far as we know, had no conversations with OG Cale and if he did they were limited, has noticed that Cale has changed. The saddest part of this story is realising the reason Cale typically doesn’t do much to act like trash is because he already thinks he is trash, so considers everything he does trashy or selfish or some otherwise negative. Someone give Cale hug.

Cale: possibly accidentally convincing Billos he’s tired of being trash

Ron, overhearing: what a precious puppy young master, so cute.

Cale’s thoughts: I’m still going to do whatever I want. I’m still trash

No one knows what Cale is thinking, including Cale.

Imagine living in a world where you can ask someone if they’ve always been a tarshy young master, and it’s not even an insult. Imagine being so earnest, so genuine, that you can ask someone this as a genuine, honest question, with no insult or judgement intended.

Love how everyone can just kinda tell he prefers honesty and genuine questions and getting straight to the point and just being generally blunt instead of tiptoeing around the subject and being polite just because he’s a noble. For someone who keeps his cards close to his chest, he’s somehow also an open book to anyone who talks to him for more than five seconds, unless he doesn’t like them. Also love how even little details like this make sense and are fairly consistent. Later on we learn Violan is blunt because she grew up around merchants and stuff, and Billos is the illegitimate son of the leader of the merchant guild, and also probably spends a fair bit of time around other merchants, so it makes sense that he’d also be very blunt, because that’s just how merchants are.

And as we all know Cale is very good at figuring out ways to make money, and some of these are very creative and outside the box.

Cale might just be the perfect reversal of Deruth’s thought of there are times when the body is stronger than his mind. Like, yes, this is true, sometimes you need brawn to win battles, and that contributes to winning the war. But physical strength alone cannot win the war, and the physically strong people aren’t usually all brawn, and even the ones that are have someone smart standing next to them offering their assistance. And it’s intelligence, tactics, knowledge, that truly win a war. That and charisma, and that is what Cale has, That’s why he is the perfect leader and commander. He may not be the strongest physically, but he makes up for that in Charisma and intelligence, and more than that, he treats the people around him as equals, and he doesn’t put them in situations more dangerous than he’s willing to face himself, so he also has the morale, respect and support of his people. Sometimes the body is stronger than the mind, but Cale and his group are the perfect example of how intelligence and knowledge are really what matters.

How does one act like trash at 8 years old? Most “trashy” behaviour you can do at that age would seem bratty at wors. Also I’m sorry, but the idea of little 8 year old OG Cale, sitting there, trying to figure out how to convincingly act trashy is adorable and really funny to me. Like, him sat, with a serious expression on his face, or trying to act like trash and no one really taking it entirely serious at first.

Also I feel like, to some extent, Cale has some level of respect for OG Cale and is a little impressed and amazed by him, and I like that. Honestly, I need the fic where most of the stuff is the same, like Kim Rok Soo still goes to that world, but instead of replacing Cale, the GoD figures out a way to just send KRS there and OG Cale is still Cale, so KRS basically does everything the same, only he also befriends OG Cale. And everyone else in his crew is a little annoyed at OG Cale, except Cale who is just kind of amused by his trashy act which he sees through in 5 seconds. He also still prevents OG Cale from getting beat up by Choi Han, and just kinda drags Cale around as he goes on his adventure, and eventually Cale grows on the others and they all just end up being amused and endeared to him. The Henituse family is confused, but KRS seems to bring out a better, happier side of Cale so they’re fine with it. This features a lot of KRS teasing Cale, and later everyone else teasing him. So everything is the same only KRS and OG Cale both exist in the TBOAH world. So, if you have a fic rec, please provide. I’m sorry but you can’t tell me that KRS wouldn’t take one look at 18 year old Cale Henituse, pretending to be trash and just adopt him, because when I say Cale is a dragon, I mean KRS Cale. OG Cale would be adopted so fast.

I feel like that’s such a good message. The whole it’s okay to throw away something you’ve spent a lot of time doing. If it’s not bringing you joy anymore, or you just feel like a change is in order, go for it. My mum has mentioned a couple times going back to university or something but won’t because she sees herself as too old, and that’s bullshit. If there’s something you want to do, or a change you want to make, and it’s not going to hurt anyone, you should do it. And, even if it does hurt people, as long as it’s not illegal and it makes you happy, you should do it. It’s your life.

No wonder everyone believed him, he sounds so passionate about it.

He’s just so respectful. He acknowledges that they have different goals, but is still so supportive about it ugh.

Wait, is Cale one of the first people to believe Billos can achieve his goals, to encourage his ambitions. Maybe his uncle did but I wouldn’t imagine anyone else really does. And he wonders why he can’t get rid of people, when he’s one of the first people to believe in them, to encourage them, to support them. I feel like Alberu because he’s driving me crazy. He seems so relieved that someone believes in him, so happy.

On a different note, I remembered the scene of Cale going to kitchen 2 and casually collecting people as he went so he had like 4 people following him, and that is both a crazy powerful image to me but also just the perfect way to summarise this story. Him just going places and casually collecting people on his way until he has like, entire kingdoms and territories following him, and I think that’s so powerful of him.

He really thought Billos would still follow Choi Han instead of him after not even a proper interaction, when he’d just given Billos the encouragement he needed. Cale is a clown,

Also I’m not being funny, Billos has literally no reason to follow Choi Han. I know we don’t know what happened in the books, but here Billos knows nothing about him, except he was with Cale. He doesn’t even know how strong he is as far as we know. The interaction in the capital, I imagine, happens after the terror attack, when Choi Han manages to save some of the people, but that doesn’t happen the same way. And that is what Cale blissfully ignores/doesn’t realise.

Cale, what did you expect. To Ron, it seems like you were having a real heart-to-heart. Of course, he assumed you know him.  And then your answer is phrased like a question, as if you’re unsure if you’re close with him. How can someone so smart be so oblivious to how the things they say or do come across? I’m not even sure if Ron believes him or not. There’s every chance he thinks Cale is just embarrassed to admit it for whatever reason.

Yep, and now Choi Han thinks everything he’s heard about how trashy you are are rumours. Oh well, this is the consequences of your actions, I’d say this is a fairly good consequence all things considered. Choi Han probably feel more positive towards him than he would if the rumors were proven correct.

Yes, yes, Cale giving Ron lemon tea is funny, it’s good revenge for the lemon torture. But how did he know Ron didn’t like lemon tea? Was it in the books or just a lucky guess? Either way Cale is a little shit and we love him for it.

fun fact: i wrote this on word first and it partially took up like 5 pages. also have the photo of Hans I found as a treat.

[blueteller]

Alberu like: So the game world is enourmous, and regular players aren't even close to fighting the Eight Evils, much less controling a kingdom Also Alberu: …So anyway I'm on the path of becoming an Emperor, obviously Cale: And you're also a hero, right? Alberu: .....

[weirdmultishipper]

[isthe-protag-cluelesstho]

Okay, probably not a hot take, but imma scribble about it anyway,

I honestly think Cale Hetinuse/Kim Rok Soo has chronic pain/fatigue.

Like, everybody loves the whole coughing up blood/wet meow meow thing he's always doing, but personally? People who are that nonchalant about Shit Happening To Their Body, are typically people who are waaaaay too used to Fucked Up Shit Happening To Their Body,

It's just a head canon, but as someone who is chronically in pain, I absolutely do some of the stupid shit CH/KRS does, like carrying stuff I should NOT be carrying, or continuing to Do Things even when I should be sitting and resting. I also know several people who (like me) can be experiencing level 4-5 pain and not show a hint on their face/through their actions besides maaaaybe moving a bit slower/stretching more

And we know KRS has been on his own since he was itty bitty... And then he grew up in a world hell bent on killing everyone. I can't help but think that a tiny child with no one to help him with the general cuts/bruises/little hurts of childhood would 1) have zero frame of reference for what "okay" actually looks like 2) probably has never really received medical care beyond emergency assistance (which does jack for chronic conditions) and 3) has NEVER really had someone in his life long enough for them to catch his way of coping with pain (my very close friends can hear when I'm hurting/tired, everyone else only notices if I am visibly incapacitated)

So, Kim Rok Soo ends up in a world/body that "technically" hasn't experienced his life, HOWEVER fibromyalgia and PTSD are like goddamn pb&j. It's a condition that is deeply tied to a body's stress response. And what does Cale say once he has the Heart? "I feel BETTER"

And that just speaks to me of a person who is so used to pain, that it no longer really registers... I had daily headaches for 7 years, it wasn't until I moved and got a new primary that I found out that more than 4 headaches in a month was considered a concern... I got on some migraine meds and actually stopped having that daily headache, something id just accepted as "how my body works" gone,

I personally don't consider pain at a 1-2 as particularly bothersome, it's more like a general annoyance. Onces it's up to 6-7 it's hard for me to move, and yet I often will still do so, despite the pain. It's only at 9-10 so I stop moving entirely and focus on just weathering it. Usually when that happens, I sleep so much after as my body tries to recover.

And when I read Cale, so casually continuing forward, despite the work he takes on himself, after the constant planning and prepping and ass kicking, all I see is a person who has lived so long with his body's suffering that it's just background noise. Yeah, he coughed up some blood, but the pain is back to "normal" so how can he raise a fuss? He killed 3 monsters with a dislocated shoulder that one time, this? This is easy. And despite claiming his body is weak, he refuses to truly accept the help and rest he needs because (like I used to) Cale thinks "this is just how my body works"

Sometimes, I cannot remember how I lived prior to my pain. Sometimes, I cannot imagine a world where I do not spend half the night attempting to force my muscles to relax, so I can actually sleep. I cannot imagine a world where I am able to do everything I want in a day and not collapse at the end. And I see so much of myself in how Cale continues to move despite the weight of the ancient powers, the expectations of the gods and his own personal hopes. He seems like a character doomed to continue walking, his bones broken but refusing the care because whats the point if everything still hurts the same way in the end?

Anyway, Raon should invent a cure for chronic illness and force Cale into a year long sabbatical

[sothgrimart]

And then, he immediately got involved XD

[kalehoneylettuce]

Wanna try a thing where people ask me stuff as if i were Cale and i reply?

Sound good?

Pls ask stuff wid your account or anonymously if you think it's fun!

[cinnabeat]

it fucks me up so so bad that natsume doesnt think hes kind just bc he was a "difficult" child growing up and bc he doesnt understand the emotional aspects of relationships between others human and youkai alike like holy shit its not your fault

[teriri-sayes]

Reactions to The Light's Chapter 422

Brief summary: Cale meets the two users and drags them into his scam. Cale makes a show as Alberu wakes up.

==========

We got a flashback again to after Cale watched the videos.

Cale: *trembling as he watches all the videos* Cale: (D-Damn it!) Raon: Human, what's wrong? Your face is really serious! Narrator: Cale could not hear Raon's voice. Hours of battle footage, all captured in ultra-high definition and with incredible sound performance. Cale: Ha… *looks up at the ceiling* DA: Cale, we're totally awesome. Shield AP: The forest is beautiful. Cale: ...

While Cale was in shock and denial of what happened, the APs were giving rave reviews. 😂😂😂

Male user: I-I am Crazy Attention Seeker. Female user: I am Strawberry Cream Bun. Raon: I like that bread! Strawberrry Cream Bun: Gasp! *dies from Raon's cuteness* Cale: (These two are strange. They're like Clopeh.)

Cale finally met the two users responsible for his current suffering: Crazy Attention Seeker (CAS) and Strawberry Cream Bun (SCB). And he immediately realized that he had to be cautious of them because... they were like Clopeh. 🤣🤣🤣

SCB was fangirling about Raon's cuteness while CAS was extremely nervous yet excited to meet a "god." Meanwhile, HD was having his own monologue about Cale's godhood.

HD: *telepathically tells Cale* This is fun, but it will be hard for you to become a god. Cale: (What nonsense is he talking about?) HD: (Gods are both worshipped and feared. But heroes aren't. People look at them in excitement rather than fear. These two must be excited because they still don't know Cale, who faced GoC, to be a god-like being.) HD: (Coughing blood and fainting are bad, but also good. Because it makes you look human. A god must not appear sick to their believers. But Cale shows that he can be sick, and can express various emotions, reminding everyone that he is human.)

So HD... are you rooting for Cale's godhood or not? 🤣🤣🤣

Cale introduced himself with his real name and told the users that he was from another world because a god requested him to save this world. He was asking the two users for help as he mentioned that the game world was becoming real, but it would soon become hell.

What Cale wanted from the two was their expertise: releasing videos. SCB was a film director, and understood that Cale wanted them to create videos related to the Night and Light quest in order to move public opinion. Thus, the two, who acted like crazed fanatics, accepted Cale's request and joined in his scam to deceive the world.

The subquests that Cale received, the one about getting a skill and changing the attribute of a divine item, needed to be done in a sacred place outside of GoC's reach. So the Sun God saintess arrived and told Cale that the Sun God was calling for Cale and Alberu to the Sun God church's main HQ. And that was how Cale and Alberu ended up with the situation last chapter.

“Pfft.” And now. Alberu Crossman flinched once more at Cale's laughter. “Oh, suuuuuuuun- grant me a glimpse of your brilliant glory- oh, suuuuuuun!” Even in the midst of all this, the pope's cries were heard. “Huh?” Cale opened his mouth, feigning surprise. “Your Holiness, Your Holiness! It looks like the hero is coming to his senses!” “Alas, at last!” Alberu's irritation flared. Cale Henituse, he must be doing this on purpose. “Hero, hero!” Cale called to him in a desperate voice, shaking him slightly in his sleep. Alberu heard the subtle laughter in his voice and simply squeezed his eyes shut. 'This is driving me crazy.' As he closed his eyes, the quest window popped up. It was an unusual, wobbly quest window, as if sent by the Sun God. Of course, it was clearer than before. [Urgent Sub-quest: Show them the dignity of a hero!] 'Really driving me crazy.'

Cale enjoying teasing Alberu. 😂😂😂 Sun God eager to show off her hero. 🤣🤣🤣 And Alberu suffering from the two. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Ending Remarks Poor Alberu. 😂 Next chapter would be Alberu finally facing reality. How would he show a hero's dignity though? 😂 I really hope we'd get a flashback to his conversation with the Sun God.

[slackerlifewhere]

The subtlety of Cale Henituse

SPOILERS for those who haven't finished the first part of the novel. If you don't like spoilers, please don't continue. Thanks!

- This is kind of a review about the novel but it's basically my analysis of Cale/KRS.

___

For someone who has trust issues with people, I first had an initial distrust with Cale Henituse/Kim Rok Soo as a reader.

I think it's because of how he was first introduced.

As a first-time reader of the novel back then, Cale/KRS was introduced as a very indifferent person. He was calm at the face of a sudden transmigration and acted like nothing could surprise him (aside from Ron and Choi Han). And of course, like anyone who was fooled, I also thought that he was selfish. He's not the trash that he thinks he is but he's selfish and I didn't place my full trust in him because I still didn't know him yet. And I like it that way. The author kept me on my toes and didn't force fed me a truckload of information about Kim Rok Soo.

Like I said in my previous post, he didn't actually give us his whole introduction. He left a few crumbs here and there that told us he didn't have a great childhood but it wasn't enough for me to build an image of him in my head. There were still some blanks and question marks about Kim Rok Soo.

Sure, there were moments when he gave a bigger tip to someone without blinking an eye and acting all smug about it but I really just thought that he was happy because he's finally rich. Or when he was being so polite and gentlemanly in front of an old man that Venion was disgusted with and then later on went back to being indifferent and I thought it was just him being extra petty and angry (which he was) at Venion for being an asshole. He's very quick to change from smug to indifference and it made me switch back and forth on how I see him as a person.

Yeah, you need to read between the lines when reading this novel.

[side note: Actually, If I remember correctly, I thought that I wouldn't like his character because I find it weird when MCs in KR manhwa and novels easily shrug off the isekai bullshit they're in. The influence of KR manhwa on me affected my opinion about him and it shows.]

So when he first met the kittens and Choi Han, I was reading it with the feeling of "Run away, guys! Run while you still can!" lingering at the back of my mind. He was nice to them, as much as he could with random strangers he just met, but he's very distant with them.

Another thing about him that makes it harder to understand him is because he's always distant with people. He relies on them and helps them but he's always at arms-length when dealing with them. This, if you didn't think of or was reminded of his thoughts about his abuse and pity, simply makes him look indifferent.

Before I continue, I don't like tsundere characters. I absolutely find them cringe and sometimes, I just wanna bash my head when they blush at the bs they're spouting at someone they like.

Because that's the thing with Cale. He is a tsundere. He says one thing and does the opposite. And he's so in denial about it which makes it more hilarious and sad.

He's subtle about it at first. He didn't even give me the vibe that he's more complex than what he shows because he's so quick to disprove my sudden epiphany that there's something deeper than what he's showing. He's so good at hiding his emotions EVEN WHEN I'M READING HIS POV.

This bastard is so in denial about himself that he fooled me so bad! I think I only realized it when he saved Raon but even then, there were still some doubts about his character. I liked his words to Raon and thought about how kind he is for giving the dragon the freedom of choice but because he later thinks of making Raon do things for him, it shook my trust in him just a little bit. Just a little, I promise.

...Maybe I just have major trust issues.

Taylor Stan

The weirdest thing to me that actually snapped me from my doubts that he's actually a kind person is oddly enough, because of Taylor Stan.

Remember when Taylor and Cage suddenly arrived at the area they were camping in and he finally talked to Taylor face to face? Yeah, he was indifferent there but it's when his tsundere traits actually exploded at my face.

He, while trying to hide from everyone, told them to give Taylor and Cage the best care and protection as if it's the most normal thing in the world.

Mind you, they don't even actually know him aside from OG Cale's reputation as trash. And he also technically isn't supposed to know them because, in the duo's POV, this is their first time meeting him so he didn't have to help or care for them.

He basically acted as if what he was doing was bad in their eyes but in reality, it's not???

He's just helping them and he's in denial about it? He's genuinely being a kind person and he thinks he's trash?

He later gives them money (and acts cool about it) and helps with smuggling (lmao) them to the Roan Kingdom so they can arrive there safely and he thinks he's trash???

He gave this man hope to finally heal himself and fight against his brother and he thinks he's trash?????

Seriously?

Self-hatred

It's why whenever he calls himself trash, I shake my head because it's amusing but I also want to cry because, as I go further into the novel, he fully believes that he's actually trash.

I don't know if this is ever talked about but Cale is hiding a huge self-hatred about himself.

Cale pointed to himself with his index finger.

“I have lived my life as trash. That is my dream.”

- Chapter 33: You

At first, when he called himself trash, I thought it was because his soul is in OG Cale's body and thus, he inherited the title and uses it to cause chaos. It's a part of the reason why but, if I think about it, he doesn't have to call himself that??? He can still cause chaos without using that title.

It's why I think he fully believes it. That he's trash.

I didn't understand back then and thought it was just him loving the title and the chaos that comes along with it.

Him and his smirks or "selfish" ideals made it seem like he's fully embraced the title and liked it that way.

And the way the author hides a deeper meaning behind his words and actions is by making it feel humorous or comical. The author makes it feel extra.

We laugh and find it amusing because it's chaotic. The secrets behind those wild ideas and explosive destruction are brilliant and subtle.

It's why I fully believed back then, that it's a simple story about a man who just wants to cause mischief in a strange world.

And then...his past as Kim Rok Soo is finally revealed by the author.

And it suddenly turns all this humor about himself into a freaking tragedy.

Kim Rok Soo is a tragic character. He's a person who has lost far too much and can only react in indifference even when he's hurting. He's cold in another person's perspective because he doesn't cry when in front of those he lost.

He hates himself for something he couldn't control. He hates himself for being weak. He hates himself for a lot of things. And he hates the scars Kim Rok Soo has because they're the reminder of all his failures and all his sacrifices that only ended up with making him alone. Like he will always be alone. (Which makes his distant personality in the beginning make sense too wtf)

So he takes in their words of him being cruel enough not to cry in a funeral of his friends and fully believes it.

He believes, as Kim Rok Soo and Cale Henituse, that he's trash.

And it absolutely made me cry like a kid when he, as he woke up surrounded by those he befriended and could call family, finally cries with a smile.

This is the first time they and us readers see him cry and smile and it's just heartbreaking.

The whole lead up to this reveal was me seeing him as a tsundere and a freaking crazy bastard that utters "slacker life" like it's comic relief.

It's completely unexpected and I love it.

Because him crying and smiling for the first time is him finally shedding his shields and walls from these people who see him as a kind person.

Cale Henituse, for all his masks and secrets, is just a broken but endlessly kind person.

It's why those who meet him, trust him. His actions are a big reason why they trust him but his words, when it feels hopeless, are eye-opening and full of wisdom of a 36 year old man. He's straightforward in front of those he trusts and tells them something that flips over everything they think about the current situation. And he says it with the experience of Kim Rok Soo.

I believe the only times he lies to them is when he was given the thing that he was gonna use to stab himself and also when he hides his identity as Kim Rok Soo. There's actually a hint of his guilt sometimes...or maybe I'm just thinking too much about it.

Anyways, that's all my thoughts for now.

This subtle bastard made me cry, damn it.

___

That one scene of him crying and smiling is etched in my mind and was reminded of it when I recently saw a fanart. So I decided to write about my feelings about his character and personality.

It's not a mindblowing post or anything new and it goes from humor to angst pretty fast but I think it's just like him. If you analyze his words in one way, it's just hilarious but if you analyze it in another way, it's sad.

I like how the author wrote him. He's a crazy bastard and a tsundere (the only tsundere I'll ever like) and I'm so glad I found this novel.

[mytragedyperson]

Thoughts I had while reading TCF chapter 10

The idea of little 5 year old Raon Miru being so desperate to escape his tormentors that he cuts into his own life force still makes me so incredibly sad. The idea that in canon there’s a world where Raon Miru not only died, but was killed by Choi Han. Can you imagine if Choi Han found out that this could’ve happened. I don’t think he’d ever forgive himself even if Raon 100% would. God this book has some sad moments, but even the novel within the novel is so sad. I know that’s a doomed world but this is actually insane. I also feel like this book does a really good job of exploring the butterfly effect or something similar. Literally one person changed, was transmigrated into the world, but because this Cale was different he made different choices, and each small choice he made, caused another change, some smaller than others, but all ultimately leading to their victory. Let’s talk about how him saving Raon changed a lot. For one thing, I don’t think, without him, he would’ve known Alberu was a dark elf. He might’ve been told or found out, but it would’ve taken longer, and he might’ve reacted differently. Because he had Raon, he knew Alberu was using magic to change his appearance, and had an aura or something that was different to the rest of his family. Then, in the forbidden forest, Raon recognised the dead mana or something, so when he next met Choi Han, he told Cale or something. Sorry, I’ve not gotten to that point in my reread yet so I might be misremembering but that was the gist. But his lack of a bad reaction to Dark Elves, allowed him to meet and form some sort of alliance and bond with them, while also improving the bond he had with Alberu. And there are so many other times where Raon or one of the kids were helpful, and The Birth of A Hero world didn’t have them. In fact, that could’ve been the start of the world being doomed, those kids, and Taylor, and Paseton dying. Just by bringing Kim Rok Soo to this world, things changed, but he had no real way of knowing, when he saved these people, the impact it would have, the knowledge it would give them. He just didn’t want to see kids, or anyone else, suffer. And just by refusing to let people suffer or die if he could help them, he gained allies, and resources, and information that they didn’t have in The Birth of a Hero, or if they did, they learned it too late. The fact that having one person change, the fate of the world changed. Each small choice, each small change, each time he does the thing he decides to do, it leads to a much bigger change and a much bigger impact later on, even if just because now all these people he’s helped have a common ally that they trust and respect. God I could and probably will go into more detail about this later on, but yeah. Moving on for now.

Also Choi Han was right that the dragon’s eyes being full of pain and sorrow but its mouth still smiling is sad. This is his first time being outside the cave he was kept on, he’s seeing the world for the first time, but he’s lost his rationality. He’s happy to be free but he hurt and lost himself in the process. And then you imagine Raon Miru (that means happy dragon, right?) the same adorable little dragon that threatens to kill everyone and destroy everything if anything happens to Cale. It’s heartbreaking, that’s heart breaking. Cale needs to hug Raon extra tight for me because he deserves all the love and affection, plus extra for the version of him that never got any.

I’m so happy Cale went out of his way to save Raon. Like, he didn’t have to do that, he chose to and it was the right thing to do, but so many other people would’ve probably not cared. This is another example of Cale being a good person and refusing to admit it. Let’s keep note of that, misunderstandings, every time someone just doesn’t question something, honestly everything, let’s just keep a note of everything. It’s not even like he can say this is selfish because he doesn’t plan to keep him, he literally gains nothing from this if everything goes according to plan, and he doesn’t care, he does it anyway. Also him saying that he can use the kids to justify adopting them will never not be funny, adorable and kinda sad, because he can’t admit, even to himself, that he just wants to keep them around.

I forgot this was still the interview scene. Damn, a lot of shit is mentioned in this scene, like from the scene with Hans before the interview to the end, we get a lot of information.

Also, the interview being about whether Choi Han can protect people and then the job actually not requiring him to. Beautiful. That thing I said yesterday about the interview scene being good for Choi Han because it gives him someone who believes in him and respects him still stands. But his first job more or less being an escort mission of find and bring these two people to me, with the two people being capable of protecting themselves? It takes the pressure off Choi Han to have to protect them and builds his confidence and belief in himself, while also providing him with a support system of some sort. And Cale doesn’t intend for this but it happens. And the fact that Choi Han, not only succeeds in the job, but also helps save the other wolf children? That probably did wonders for his confidence, for his belief in himself. Ugh, it’s so good.

Also, Cale claiming in his thoughts, to himself that he’s just gonna let Choi Han, Lock, and Rosalyn deal with the terror incident, only to make a whole plan to stop the attack. He’s so good at scamming people he even scams himself. That’s beautiful.

And then he makes it a secret between just them. He’s essentially telling Choi Han he trusts him with this more than anyone else. No wonder he can never get rid of Choi Han after this. And the best part is he doesn’t even realise he’s doing it, he doesn’t know the impact it has on Choi Han.

Also Choi Han is just kinda precious in a way I can’t explain. Like he seems like he needs a hug, but specifically a hug from Cale and his kids and Rosalyn and Lock. Tbf the entire Calefam kinda needs a hug.

Also for some reason I just got the image of early days!Hans hearing from Deruth he has to give Cale more money and just cursing in his head the entire time he goes because what is he even doing with all this money? He’s not spending it all on alcohol, he’s not drunk enough for that? He hasn’t been back to Billos’ shop and then remembering hearing from someone that Beacrox saw him buying a fuckton of bread and medicinal herbs and going into the slums and being like did he really spaen that much money on bread? How much bread did he buy to be spending that much money? Also why does Deruth give him his allowance in gold coins and cheques exclusively? No wonder he doesn’t wait for change and just says keep it, that would be a bitch to figure out for everyone involved. Also I’ll be honest I don’t get how cheques work in general but, like, he goes to three different bakeries for bread, and I know he paid for that with coins, was that first gold coin for the rest of the week? It was, right? Because otherwise my question was gonna be how does using a cheque at 3 different places work but the answer to that is it doesn’t, right?

God I love Ron just tormenting Cale with lemon things. And then he gets Beacrox and I believe later recruits Hans to help keep it going even when he’s not there? Or maybe Choi Han? I can’t remember who but I know he told someone to do it while he was looking for information on Arm. Maybe one of the kids? That would explain why he didn’t just say he doesn’t like lemon things. I don’t know. I’ll revisit this when I rearead that bit and remember who it was. Ron’s already admitted he knows something’s up. I feel like this is an attempt to figure out why he’s changed at first and then it just becomes their thing.

Also his plan to foist everyone off on Choi Han has already failed because Choi Han already knows he’s not leaving Cale, not if he can help it. So, sucks for Cale but, sorry, you’re already stuck with the troublesome people. But in all seriousness that’s probably for the best because they all need each other.

I’ve finally finished this chapter. I’ll be back with my thoughts with my thoughts during chapter 11, if I have any.

[masteri-0]

You know, something's always confused me in the early chapters of tcf. In chapter 33, when Cale was making a vow of death with Choi Han, he mentioned,

“I have no desire to become my family’s successor. Basen Henituse, my blood-related younger brother. I am hoping for him to become the successor.”

And we all know that's not true. The part about Basen being his blood-related younger brother. (At least, as far as ik? There wasn't a sudden reveal that they were actually blood related in p2, right? Right??)

And it's such an unnecessary detail to add, too, specifying blood-related? It really felt like he was testing something. Now, I could be looking too much into it... But. Cale Henituse vowed to speak the truth to Choi Han.

"I, Cale Henituse, vow to speak the truth to Choi Han in front of the God of Eternal Rest, and, if what I say is even slightly a lie, I will immediately die in this spot to pay the price."

It very likely refers to what he believes is the truth. And the thing is, yeah you could've brushed it off as him believing that Basen really is related to him, and therefore didn't register as false or incur a penalty. But this is Cale we're talking about?? You can't tell me he didn't at least suspect something???

Like sure, maybe he didn't realise the timeline in which Jour died and Deruth married Violan before he went to make the vow. But with the measly age gap of Basen and Cale, it would either have to mean that a) Jour died when Cale was really young (like baby age) and Deruth remarried quickly, or b) Deruth cheated on Jour. Both of which makes little sense if you consider a) the tense relationship between Cale and his stepfamily and b) Cale's attitude towards Deruth. (Also the novel's uncanny details on Cale)

And, okay, maybe I'm overthinking this, and the author just made a mistake in that part.

BUT ALSO. Later on we learn about Kim Rok Soo's curse. The curse that rubbed off on him from the White Star. It was also made through a vow of death, and he had to live with it taking away everything he ever cared about. But we can clearly see that he still managed to form connections, until they eventually left, too. So it can be circumvented somewhat, if only due to it being a weaker version.

And I (and likely the rest of the fandom) headcanon that KRS's fervent denial and unreliable narration in acknowledging his care for ppl likely stems from the curse. If you believe you don't care for them, then they won't leave. He's a smart kid, he would've realised the pattern.

So stay with me here, Cale/KRS obviously wouldn't know he had a curse or that it was connected to the VoD at that point in time. But he could've been subtly testing the efficacy of the vow?! Like, even this theory is iffy, considering, would he really do something so risky off the bat? I don't rlly see what he would've had to gain from it, but it's the best I've come up with. He makes himself believe, with reasonable justifications, that Basen is related to him, tests out the vow, and he doesn't drop dead straight away.

Well if anything, it felt like a good little tidbit of foreshadowing, unintentional as it may be. Also quoting those bits made me realise that he really did accept his identity as Cale Henituse really fast, and acknowledged Basen as his actual younger brother too. Nice!

And if it turns out Basen is actually revealed to be blood-related to him, well. Honestly nah I can't see it. But what if..? Atp I can't discount anything...

[blueteller]

Cale's Super Rock Villa Has a Deeper Meaning

So, I was re-reading the Caro Kingdom fight against the White Star recently (around chapter 450) since it's a super underrated fight… so much stuff I forgot from that part. Like, Mary actually using a dead mana sword?? That's so freaking cool!!

Anyway, the reason I bring it up is because there's an important detail about KRS's past there, which I totally missed before!

As Choi Han attacks the White Star in TCF Chapter 453, he recalls a flashback from CJS's life:

After struggling at work with Kim Rok Soo when he first entered the company, he headed home right away after finishing work for a while after he got used to the work. There were colleagues who wanted him to join them after work because he was a friendly guy, but he always declined and headed to his own place. Only Kim Rok Soo and the team leader knew the reason he had to go straight home. Honestly speaking, his home wasn't much. The company that was located in Seoul was located around the central border of the destroyed area and the still somewhat intact area and Choi Jung Soo's house was around there as well. His house was a small one bedroom in a building that was barely maintaining its shape as a villa. The building looked old like the buildings in a movie about the apocalypse he wanted before the world changed, but the people living inside were happy.

GUYS. DID YOU CATCH THAT? KRS LIVED IN A VILLA!!

And old, crumbling villa where he owned only one bedroom – but that's not the freaking point!!

First of all – KRS liked Super Rock Villa so much because it reminded him of his old home! That's just so sweet. He's such a sentimental guy...! 😭

But that's not what I want to focus on. Yes, there were the Henituse villa and the Harris Village as well, but... Super Rock Villa is different. As something that Cale inherited, by himself, it represents something more than merely a house to live in.

Think about it: the state of the two villas Cale lived in... it's like an allegory to his previous life VS his new life!

In his old life, he lived among the very people he protected, but he kept distance from them. It wasn't a physical distance – since he was living in the same building as them – but he didn't make any friends with his neighbors. Just like with his co-workers, KRS enjoyed their happiness from the sidelines... because KRS was cursed and doing his best to stay away in order to protect them 💔

But! BUT! In his new life, when he got Super Rock villa, not only was it in pristine condition – in contract to the old one which was falling apart – but the first thing he did, was fill it with living beings!!

...Sure, he also did that stupid in-denial internal monologue how he's doing it because he wants them to protect him. But we all know Cale is a shameless liar by this point; even to himself. ...Especially to himself.

So basically: Cale did that because he WANTED TO LIVE AMONG HAPPY PEOPLE AGAIN

Except this time – he was a part of that family!!

The whole Wind Island's test of fear later re-affirms the idea completely. Cale's biggest fear is the Super Rock villa being empty. The happy home meant for friends and family becoming their grave.

The Super Rock Villa is so much MORE to Cale than merely a cool rich house to live in. It directly represents the state of his life and family 😭

[chaoticallyfragmentary]

Cale Heitenuse X Alberu Crossman

Alberu froze, the instant he realized what Cale had planned. He isolated the panic seizing his veins, freezing it out, shattering shard after shard of unbidden possibilities of a world without Cale that his brain was mapping out.

What the fuck?

Shit, he barely had enough time to block the kids' view. Unbridled rage joined the panic, a fresh flush of heat beneath his skin. He flaked it away too.

Fuck.

His jaw ached from the force he used to grind it shut.

Cale, his stupid, idiotic bastard plunged the dagger into his chest and Alberu, the crown prince of his kingdom wavered, his chest tightening like it might crack, ribs reduced to rubble. His comprehension of the world around him screeched to a halt, a strangled sigh of relief slipping from the back of his throat when he moved.

Oh, he's going to kill that idiot.

[murasaki-cha]

Cale looked puzzled, but soon understood, muttering that he was a drunkard once too. Wi was confused at that confession.

Cale continued that he was famous for being a trash too.

I can't with him anymore seriously I'm at my fucking limit

[robins-on-lea]

TCF/TBOAF reaction fic ft people from the sealed god’s test except TBOAH!Cale has this dimensional pouch filled with a variety of ranged weapons + poisonous needles/knives and the only one who knows the contents is Og!Cale. And as a (semi-)responsible adult-ified version of TBOAH!Cale, Og!Cale tries (and fails) to convince him NOT to shoot TCF!Clopeh.

Like, every time TCF!Clopeh opens his mouth and starts talking(which usually is just him preaching abt ’Cale-nim’), TBOAH!Cale just starts reaching out for his pouch for a gun or even his crossbow but Og!Cale would always stop him.

And whenever TBOAH!Cale looks at Og!Cale wondering ”WHY?!?!”, Og!Cale just turns to TCF!Cale is like;

“Hey, do you mind if Clopeh dies or get injured?”

“…Which Clopeh?”

“The one from your world, obviously.”

And most most of the time, TCF!Cale says he does mind cuz yea Clopeh is currently getting on his nerves with all the praises but it isn't all THAT bad.

Until at one point, TCF!Clopeh starts praising Og!Cale and TBOAH!Cale. And since TBOAH!Cale is still an emotionally constipated teen, he just snaps. Like;

TCF!Clopeh: [Preaching abt ’Cale-nim’]

TBOAH!Cale, on his last fucking straw: [Whispering] I’m at my fucking limit

Og!Cale, who’s tired of TCF!Clopeh’s bullshit: You know what? I’m not even going to stop you this time.

So TBOAH!Cale just stands up and goes ”YESSSSS” and everyone’s like, “wtf is wrong with the kid??”

But then TBOAH!Cale pulls out a fucking shotgun and before anyone, even the dragons, could react, he shot TCF!Clopeh on the shoulder without taking that long to aim.

Everyone ofc just goes ”…what?” bcs what the fuck? what the actual fuck?

Even TCF!Cale and SGT!Kim Rok Soo didn’t expect that. Meanwhile, Og!Cale is just;

“Yep, that’s mini-me, who’s also me. That’s what I did after Ron left. Shooting people in the face and back whenever they annoy me. With nobody to stop me.”

While everyone was still staring in shock, Clopeh was already on the ground clutching his shoulder while in pain whilst TBOAH!Cale was already readying his next shot.

Og!Cale, who knows TCF!Cale still has uses for Clopeh, tries to stop and reason with mini-him.

It succeeded.

…….somehwat

(this stuff is also filed into my nonexistent Reaction fic :’))

[hajidumps]

Someone: I love you

Cale: what? No. Take that back. no you don't!