#can we talk about kurt having more experience with girls that blaine…….. kinda.. BUT STILL

[porcelainvino]

idc about bi blaine what if i said i wanted BI KURT

[satellitesunset]

There are three characters on Glee who are REALLY constructed around their relationship to masculinity… Other characters get arcs around it, but there are three where it is a very central arc.

One is Spencer, whose story there is VERY explicitly a queer story. He outright talks about needing to be more masculine than anyone else so that people don’t write him off as “the gay one”… I really wish the show had given him more than two conversations about this. And I also get why the show drew his arc against Kurt specifically, but there are other characters who would have made more sense to connect with him… If Sam were canonically queer, maybe him, but I also think there’d have been something interesting in explicitly drawing Spencer against KAROFSKY in S6. If the show had been better about following through its themes.

One is Artie, whose story is about building an identity both incorporating and aside from his disability… I have issues with how the show portrays Artie’s relationship with his body and his masculinity, but I also think that the surface reading there — the disability one — makes enough sense on its own that I don’t think it NEEDS to be queered specifically… HOWEVER, there are certainly facets of my own queerness that I see in Artie, and I am on-board with queer readings of Artie’s arc here…

And then there’s Sam, and I just really feel like a queer reading of Sam’s body image, masculinity, and popularity stuff… It just makes too much sense to me to ignore. It’s not just about the internal stuff in Sam’s character, either… But it’s about who that character is drawn up against in those arcs… In Season 2, Sam’s drawn against Finn, and to a lesser extent Karofsky… In Season 3, it’s against Blaine and Shane…. In Season 4 and 5, he doesn’t really have a foil, but his body image and masculinity stuff is specifically drawn against Artie… but also tied into Blaine… Sam finds himself drawn into self-discovery arcs around every queer major character in the show, pretty much. He dates Santana and Brittany (… and Quinn)… he’s best friends with Blaine… there’s both Duets and Rumours with Kurt… He gets significant screentime with Spencer… He’s Kurt’s biggest defender against Karofsky…

the reply is a bit late, but there are so many great ideas that i wanted to articulate my response properly.

Spencer

Spencer, out of all the s6 newbies, is the biggest lost potential, because as you mentioned, from how Kurt and him, dare I say are opposite halves of the same coin, to how both he and Sam had to prove their own masculinity, but most importantly how his story is parallel to that of David's.

You have Spencer who, despite his surface acceptance of his sexuality, still has a lot of internalized homophobia, ( I rewatched some of his sense, and the line "we have nothing in common", stood out to me, because it reflects how he never sees himself fitting in with the community) and how interacting with David, a gay jock who has also gone through internalized homophobia, could clear up his insecurities.

Artie

Artie, unintentionally, is a very queer-coded character, he makes a lot of' jokes' about finding men/guys attractive (the writer's biophobia is showing), I don't think I'm qualified to expand on how he, as a disabled guy has to prove his own masculinity but another line that pops in my mind is in s3 ep5 the first time (my beloathed) when he talks about hooking up with Brittany, made he feel like a 'real man', which just further proves my point (toxic masculinity yay)

Sam

there's so much to unpack with Sam, what you said is so on point,

A lot of Sam's arcs are inherently queer, no denying that from how he's established to how he evolves, from s2 this well-meaning insecure jock who's going through the conflict of popularity serving as a parallel between him and Finn in S2, and I know from experience how going to a same-sex school influences how you view your identity, like it fucks you up, then into s3, from being a stripper AGE 16!! and feeling like being popular is the only way to get the girl, and how did having dyslexia make him feel lesser and like his worth lies only on his body, especially with, as you mentioned, being pitied against Shane and Blaine, and how he continuously interact with other queer characters.

if were also discussing the topic, we can expand on Puck (a deep dive into the hyper-sexual nature of his character and the deeper reasoning of why he hooked up with older women) Jake (the intersectionality of race and masculinity), and Kurt and Blaine both as gay men and how they affect each other but also individually, (for Kurt, on how he viewed masculinity and how it relates to his sexuality which is a topic I kinda covered the other day, and specifically both his arc in s3 and s5).

[spaceorphan18]

do u think Kurt has ever had sex w anyone aside from Blaine? I sort of like the idea that he really took his dad’s word to heart and only attached sex to feelings, which is why it was so important to him in their relationship. Personally I don’t believe he had sex with Walter or Adam because of the body language he had around them. I don’t want it to be like “Kurt is a virgin saving himself for Blaine” but more like Blaine is the only one he’s ever felt deeply enough to have sex. thoughts?

I understand the sentiment of your feelings -- I do, because I was once there during the original run of the show.  And there’s nothing proving things one way or an other -- so, even after you’ve read what I have to say, if you feel differently, that’s perfectly fine and valid!  The text is pretty open to any kind of interpretation. 

Before I get into it, I want to discuss your comment: 

I don’t want it to be like “Kurt is a virgin saving himself for Blaine” but more like Blaine is the only one he’s ever felt deeply enough to have sex.

So, I want to start by saying when I was younger, I didn’t understand how people could just have sex with people they weren’t in love with.  Part of it is because my Mom was a lot like Burt, and gave me a talk very similarly to what Kurt receives in the show.  Part of it is, I’ve learned, is because I’m demisexual, and I’ve never felt the need to have casual sex.  But as I’ve gotten older, my views on this have changed a lot.  

I do believe that Blaine is the only one whom Kurt has had deep and meaningful sex, but Kurt having other sexual relationships and encounters is not at all a bad thing -- and can be quite healthy in his understanding of how relationships, and his own sexuality, work.  Now, I’d like to make clear that it’s fine whether you’ve had sex with a hundred people, or if you’ve had sex with no one -- your worth is not valued by the amount (or lack) of sexual partners you’ve had.   But what I am saying is that there’s nothing wrong with Kurt having other sexual partners, nor does it detract from the meaningfulness that finds in having sex with Blaine.  

So, let’s talk a second about Previously Unaired Christmas (yes, I know, I’d rather not, either, but it does have some valuable insight).  Kurt, in an attempt to feel better, makes the decision to get a little tipsy, and throw caution to the wind -- and in the process decides to hook up with Cody.  Now, pretending that he isn’t a skeevy conman who preys on minors, Kurt would have surely slept with Cody. And found... that casual sex can still feel good, but maybe it’s not for him because he does prefer the emotional connection his bond with Blaine brings.  

I don’t think the encounter with Cody needed to be a bad one. (My huge objection to this whole thing in the episode is that Cody is a really gross guy taking advantage of minors, and for that I’m glad he didn’t get that far with Kurt.)  I think as long as you have a healthy attitude towards sex and the idea of sex, that you can enjoy the pleasure of it even if it isn’t as emotionally satisfying as having sex with someone you love deeply.  And that’s okay!  Say this did happen with Kurt -- it doesn’t undermine the fact that Kurt is very much still in love with Blaine.  

FWIW - I did write a casual sexual relationship for Kurt in my fic With Every Broken Bone (set between seasons 5 and 6) for this reason -- so Kurt can have a positive sexual encounter who isn’t Blaine - where he comes out of it happy to have had the experience, but still very much in love with Blaine.  

Moving on... let’s talk about Adam! I’ve done a lot of talk about Adam, tbh, (you can find it in my meta tag!) so I’ll probably keep this short.  I think if Kurt was to sleep with Adam, it’d be after Boys and Girls on Film, after they go on that date.  I don’t think Kurt was there yet before, but there’s a definite possibility that after they see their movie, things progress.  But, as with the Cody example, I can easily see Kurt sleeping with Adam, and it not being bad, but not being great either, so he decides he’d rather sleep with his boyfriend pillow, Bruce instead of Adam (which, let’s be honest, is kinda funny).  

I do like the idea of Kurt sleeping with Adam -- because it gives him more experience, but also because it gives him another change to realize how valuable his relationship with Blaine is -- because it allows him to have something to compare to.  

Let’s talk about Walter... Now, I think the show goes out of its way to paint them as nonsexual -- mostly because that relationship keeps getting compared to Blaine’s very sexual relationship with Karofsky as a really chaste thing.  

But I’ve warmed considerably to the idea that Kurt slept with Walter.  So, here’s my thing -- at this point in his life, Kurt has a very different relationship with sex than when he did a few years earlier.  He and Blaine have now had a ton of sex.  Kurt knows what he likes and what he doesn’t, and we know that he really enjoys sex (and is very grupmy when he doesn’t get it).  I can see Kurt going into the thing with Walter being well aware that he just wants to have sex with an attractive older man and it doesn’t mean much other than feeling good.  

And that’s okay! Because Kurt knows he can easily walk away from it once Blaine becomes available again.  As Brittany has told him -- he shouldn’t just put his life on hold just because he’s waiting for he and Blaine to get back together, and part of his life is sex.  So, yeah, I can see him enjoying a casual, sexual relationship with Walter while waiting to get back with Blaine.  

So, those are my thoughts! My line of thinking, and maybe it’s just age that’s gotten me here, is that there’s no shame whatever your sexual history might be.  I do agree with Burt’s sentiment that you shouldn’t throw yourself around as a way to please other people, because it’s expected of you, or because you feel that’s the only way to receive love (Blaine tried that -- it didn’t work).  But having a healthy relationship with sex and your own sexual identity is a good thing! 

Whether you’re like Mercedes and want to only have sex with someone you’re going to marry, or whether you’re like Brittany and have fun having sex with everyone -- as long as you’re being safe, educated, and in a consenting situation, then what ever your sexual encounters are is fine!  I personally like the idea of Kurt exploring his sexual identity with other people because it helps inform his decision that Blaine is ultimately the person he wants to be with.  But the text is open, and if you interpret it differently, that’s cool, too.  :) 

[muckrakerhq]

PRESENTING … FONDUE FOR TWO, EVERY TUESDAY, HOSTED BY JOEY HUMMEL-ANDERSON.

featuring… this week’s guests, @auroraowen​ & @steviebeckett​

fondue for two is a weekly internet talk show hosted by joey hummel-anderson. fondue for two, joey, and the muckraker team strive to get all the steaming gossip while he interviews guests of his choice over a steaming pot of cheese.

[The same old Joey’s room, same as before – Joey sitting across from Stevie and Rory, while Gil the Fish is on his bowl in between them]

JOEY: Welcome back to Fondue for Two! Since last week we had Ivy and Lincoln here with us and they’re playing Danny and Rizzo in Grease, I thought that it would probably for the best if I invited the people who are playing Sandy and Rizzo on the nights that no one cares about! In other words, I finally got Danny as I deserve, but this isn’t about me! I have here with me, Rory Owen and Stevie Beckett! How do you feel about being here?

STEVIE: Since when do people not care about closing night?

RORY: I think all days are equally important, but thanks for inviting me on here Joey. I kinda thought this was only reserved for people you liked.

JOEY: No one cares about closing night, Stevie. And it was hard for me to invite the two of you over, but it's fine, I'll just have to burn those chairs. First question is for Rory: care to explain what happened to the Schuemobile?

RORY: No comment. Any relation to me destroying the Schuemobile is simply just rumors. And I’m definitely not saying this because this video could be incriminating.

JOEY: Okay, that's fair enough! I still think you did it though, so I'll keep my eye out on you just in case. Next question is for Stevie: out of the gay boys in our school, who's the second hottest? I'm already first, so.

STEVIE: I'm definitely first hottest, so... you? Congrats.

JOEY: Stop lying in front of Gil the Fish, that's rude. Anyway, what are you guys most excited about the musical?

RORY: Being able to play a part that I actually deserve. Don’t get me wrong, I’m absolutely thrilled to play Jan but... we all know who had the best Danny audition and it wasn’t Julien or Ivy.

STEVIE: Getting to knock the socks off of the audience with my rendition of 'Hopelessly Devoted to You' on B nights. And getting to piss off any backwoods townie homophobes by telling an enchanting gay love story on stage. Even if it does mean I have to kiss you, Joey.

JOEY: You're right, the best Danny audition was mine, I'm glad that we could agree on that! And Stevie, the thought of kissing you makes my skin crawl, but I'm willing to do it because I really want to play Danny. Okay, next up, we have a little game. Fuck, marry, kill: Theo, Kaden and Cam. And don't worry, the internet is a safe place.

STEVIE: They're all straight, right? Snooze, I'll let Rory take this one.

RORY: Well, I’ve already fucked two of the three so I guess I’ll fuck Cam since I haven’t yet, marry Theo, and kill Kaden. Pretty refreshing lineup in my opinion.

JOEY: Stevie, it's supposed to be a game! You have to answer! Wait, Rory you slept with Theo? Can you whisper in my ear if the Evian water bottle rumors are true?

RORY: Evian water bottle rumors? What?

STEVIE: Oh, well if that's true I know my line up.

STEVIE: Unless I'm missing something.

JOEY: Stevie, just answer the question! Rory, we'll talk after the video is over. [looks at the camera for a while and then back to Stevie]

STEVIE: I'm invoking my fifth amendment right, and would like to instead use this time to encourage everyone to vote for me for Homecoming King.

RORY: I thought you weren’t on the ballot?

STEVIE: Please tell me my sister's curse is not passing on to me.

JOEY: You have a sister?

JOEY: Right, I'm getting distracted, the Evian water bottle thing threw me off. Moving on, Stevie, why do you dress like my dad?

RORY: Joey, he has a literal twin.

STEVIE: If you're referring to your fabulous if a tad washed up father Kurt, I'll just say it's an honor to be compared to him.

JOEY: I don't mean him, I mean my dad Blaine. You're telling me if I pulled out one of his bowties right now, what are the odds that you already own it?

STEVIE: It's rare of me to rock a bowtie, but considering I'm pretty sure your dads could have me fired in an instant for whatever I say on here, I'll just say pass on the fashion inquisition, thanks.

JOEY: I guess that's fair enough, just don't go steal clothes from my dad or he'll be really mad. Rory, I heard a rumor that you're taking Drew McCarthy to Sadie's! Is this because he reminds you of a lost puppy? Because that's what I think.

RORY: No? I mean, he’s a bit like a lost puppy but that’s not why we’re going together.

JOEY: Then why are you going together?

RORY: Because we’re friends.

JOEY: So, you don't want to jump in his pants?

RORY: Why would I want to do that?

JOEY: I don't know, I was just wondering. You're very defensive about all of this. Anyway, Stevie, who are you taking to Sadie's?

STEVIE: I'll be escorted by the illustrious Darcy Clarington-Smythe whose financial backing combined with my fashion sense will make her the best dressed girl there, even if she's not a McKinley student.

JOEY: That's kind of lame. I thought you at least would go with a hot guy, but at least Darcy's pretty cool! Right, another question for the two of you: predictions on what's going to happen at Sadie's? Drama, hook-ups, tell me all.

RORY: I don’t really know? People are probably going to just get drunk and fuck like usual.

STEVIE: This is McKinley, if we don't have some form of rigged election or prank during court announcements, I'll feel cheated out of the full experience, honestly. I'll probably be crowned Queen instead of King as a cheap joke, someone will put bath salts in the punch, and someone'll get Carrie'd. Those are my guesses.

JOEY: Right, right... Stevie, you're not getting crowned Queen, you're not popular enough. Besides, I'm a Cheerio, if anyone were to be crowned Queen, it would be me.

STEVIE: I am also a Cheerio.

JOEY: Liar!

JOEY: Anyway, it's time to wrap this up, I took most of my cold medicine an hour ago and now I have the urge to stand in a corner for three hours. Time for Gil's final thoughts. [Zoom in on Gil the Fish as he swims around] Rory, he said something really offensive, I'm not going to translate that.

RORY: He can speak??

STEVIE: Okay, well, Vote Stevie! And come see Grease on B-cast nights! At least that's one thing we can all agree on.

JOEY: Of course he can, he's a fish! And obviously vote for Joey, this is my show and if you guys don't vote for me, I'll be really sad. Did you guys have fun?

RORY: It wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever done. So, kinda fun I guess.

STEVIE: Never imagined I could have such a great time exposing my personal life for all of Lima to see.

JOEY: Awesome! Don't forget to join us next week for more Fondue for Two! 

 [THE END]

[klaineship2]

TDB  Rewatch   Wonderful Episode  4x21

“Today we are celebrating life’s most treasured and wonderful gift - a second chance.”

Stop worrying because in the end everything is gonna work out. This is the overall theme of the episode - although unfortunately this isn’t how life usually works. But still despite all the tough issues that are touched this might be one of the most joyful episodes of s4. And not just because of the bright colours after too much darkness. There is lots of Burt-wisdom and Kurtcedes-friendship (I missed this since s2)  - yeah!!!

While I am bored with all the Rachel-NYADA stuff (probably because I know how she will throw away everything in the end after having stomped over her friends) I liked the other plotlines. That tiny glimpse into Artie’s family life was adorable and his fears made totally sense. I can imagine a bond between Artie and his mom very similar to the one Kurt and Burt have. Also this is the beginng of his relationship with Kitty - she was the best match for him.

It’s a shame that Will Schuester calls Rachel ‘McKinley’s biggest success story’ for having a callback when Mercedes is about to release a CD with original songs. At least he remembers her great voice even though he hadn’t used it all that much when she was in Glee Club. Mercedes’ experience with music business might be something many artists have to face - that your looks and body shape can be much more important than your talent and voice.

Kurt is such a sweetheart througout the episode. His nervous anxiety and OCD-tendencies that are finally released in a happy little song; Kurt ushering the girls around and dancing around Burt and having fun and kidding around is a Kurt we didn’t see for too long. After the good news at the hospital he’s utterly relaxed and optimistic and that’s something he finally deserved. Plus - this song has the perfect pitch for Chris’ voice.

I loved Blaine’s meeting with Burt (even though I still don’t get this ‘asking the father for permission to ask someone to marry you’ - is this actually still a thing in the US?) He is so excited about marriage equality and adding his jarring experience from the shooting and the fact that he and Kurt are on good grounds again and relaxed around each other I get why he is so determined to propose.  And I want to hug him and tell him that everything’s gonna be all right after Burt turned him down. He seems so desperate and disappointed and even annoyed with Burt when he sits him down for a talk... and what a great talk Burt gives him. You’d better listen to him Blaine! He’s the voice of reason after all.

By the way, did anyone believe that they actually didn’t hook up this time???

Kurt-Blaine Things:

Given the amount of socks Kurt is packing, he’s planning on staying at least for two weeks.

“Don’t worry we’re not gonna hook up this time.”

“By the way you look cute tonight and I mean like dirty cute.”

Kurt’s dancing moving awkwardly through Superstition. LOL

Blaine: “I formally ask for you permission to ask Kurt to marry me.”      Burt: “You kidding, or you nuts?”

“You get kinda cute when you get nervous.”

Other Things:

Tina tickling Kurt at the end of You Are The Sunshine

“New York isn’t exactly wheel-friendly - unless you are a bike messenger.”

“And if you ever imply again that I’m an old hag I’m gonna tip you over.”

Burt getting his rainbow pin from Blaine.

Give me all the Mercedes-Kurt interaction - yeah!!!!

I love the sene at the doctor’s office with Kurt and Burt all tense and irritable and the sweet family hug at the end (although this sadly reminds me of the next time we’ll see them gathered in a hug like this :-/ )

“When two people love each other like you two do everything works out.”

@todaydreambelievers

[skivvysupreme]

“I Saw the Signs” - Kurt/Blaine

anon asked: “ Can you write a little something-something post 3x05 where Santana or someone can tell Kurt and Blaine had sex and is totally loving embarrassing them about it xD“

excellent prompt but Santana is not embarrassing enough

how about 1400 words of post-”The First Time” Hudmel family shenanigans :P

read on AO3

Burt sits at the kitchen table, flipping through the morning paper. There’s already a review of McKinley’s production of West Side Story in the arts section. Admittedly, Burt would normally pull this area out of the paper without reading it and set it aside for Kurt, but on this particular morning, there’s a big, grainy picture of Blaine and Rachel at the top of the column. The columnist gushes relentlessly about the perfect casting, particularly spotlighting the “incredibly talented” romantic leads and musing about their possible real-life connection. Burt can’t help but feel a swell of pride, here; Rachel and Blaine are family, and watching them already doing well in their chosen field is a real treat.

He muses, just for a moment, with a wistful little grin on his face, that those two will be legal family someday, if his sons get their way.

Burt looks up at the sound of soft footsteps padding down the stairs. It’s Kurt, looking a bit more disheveled than Burt’s used to seeing him in the mornings; his hair is a mess, and instead of his usual muted pajamas, he’s in a bright red Dalton Athletics t-shirt that’s pretty snug on him.

Huh.

“G’morning, Kurt,” Burt says, raising his coffee cup.

Kurt doesn’t answer, instead staring into the middle distance with a tiny smile on his face as he shuffles into the kitchen.

“Good morning, Kurt,” Burt tries again, a little louder, and Kurt snaps his head up in surprise, jumping a little, as though he hadn’t actually realized he wasn’t alone.

“Good morning, Dad,” Kurt answers. He’s beaming, though it’s small, visually contained even as his face seems to be bursting from within. He looks away quickly, his arms wrapped around himself as he approaches the full coffeemaker on the kitchen counter. He sighs when he fixes his cup, sticking his thumb in his mouth when a little coffee creamer splashes onto it.

Burt sets his newspaper down, watching him curiously. He seems tired, but not hungover, which is a relief. Burt trusts his sons but he knows how these kids get down from time to time. “How was the afterparty?”

Kurt shrugs one shoulder. “It was lovely.”

“At Breadstix, right?”

“Uh-huh.” Kurt absentmindedly tugs at the neckline of his too-small t-shirt, his fingers slipping underneath it, lingering on his neck. He’s not looking at Burt, again.

That shirt isn’t just snug on him. It’s not his size.

Kurt can’t stop touching himself.

Ah.

Burt takes a deep breath as sirens start going off in his head, trying to prepare himself for what he’s about to ask. It’s so much scarier than the first (and last) time they discussed this, knowing Kurt has now gone and done it; this is the real test of whether or not Burt’s getting through to him.

“You kids – I mean. You, uh. You and Blaine. You’re being safe?”

Kurt almost drops his coffee, quickly going red in his ears and cheeks as he struggles to look his dad in the eye. “What do you mean?” he asks, his voice tight and his posture suddenly tense.

Burt clears his throat. “Kurt, I’m gonna ignore that you lied about the afterparty, but I need you to be straight with me on this. I know this sucks, but I gotta know. You’re being safe?”

He visibly swallows, his eyes flicking up to Burt’s for just a moment before he looks at his socks and nods.

“I know things get, ya know… kinda. Uh. Hot, in the moment, so you forget things like that or they seem less important, but–”

“We used protection, Dad,” Kurt says, finally forcing himself to look at him. “I promise. I get it. We both get it. Okay?”

“Okay. But, uh…” Kurt groans when Burt starts his next sentence, closing his eyes in an agonized expression while Burt barrels on, “You’re feeling okay? I mean, you – you know, enjoyed yourself?”

“Dad!”

“Alright, alright,” Burt chuckles; he already knows the answer to that question from the way Kurt’s behaved this morning. And he doesn’t want to push, honestly. He doesn’t need or want actual details. But that look on Kurt’s face, the blissful, secretive look he had before this embarrassed one took over, couldn’t be mistaken for anything else. “Just wanna make sure we can have open conversations about this if you ever need to.”

“Yeah… Thanks, Dad.”

“Next time, just… no sex in the family room, you got it? I saw the blankets you left on the floor.”

Kurt lowers his hand away from his eyes and says, “We did it at Blaine’s. What are you talking about?” 

Burt stares, lips pursed. 

He cocks a hip and continues, “Do you honestly think I would sleep with my boyfriend for the first time on the floor, and then just leave the blankets there?”

Just then, Finn bounds down the stairs two at a time, cheerfully calling, “Good morning!” as he enters the kitchen. He, too, looks extra rumpled, which is saying something considering how he usually looks in the morning. “Hey Kurt,” he says, easily reaching into the cabinet above Kurt’s head to retrieve a cereal box. He thinks he’s whispering when he asks, “How was the afterparty?”

“The real afterparty, or Kurt’s afterparty?” Burt asks, now glancing back and forth between the living room and Finn with one eyebrow arched. 

“Whoa, what? Dude, where’d you have another party? I was home all night.”

Kurt narrows his eyes at his father for a moment before he glares at Finn and hisses, “Except when you took Rachel home, right?”

“She drove herself here,” Finn says, grinning because he finds the idea so flattering before he realizes what he’s said. “I mean. Um. She–she stopped by, because I, I left something at school, so…” Finn, as bad a liar as he’s ever been, cuts himself off and glances nervously at Burt as he clutches the cereal box against his chest.

Burt rolls his eyes. “Christ, did you guys coordinate or something? You’re not in trouble, it’s just… I gotta get it through my head that you’re not little boys anymore.”

Finn looks back and forth between Burt and Kurt for a few seconds before it suddenly clicks. He still thinks he’s whispering when he asks, “Kurt, did you…?” He nudges Kurt with his elbow when Kurt just sips his coffee and says nothing, as though Kurt didn’t hear him. “Like, you and Blaine?”

Kurt scoffs. “Who else?” 

Finn holds his hand out for a high five, which Kurt reluctantly returns as he adds, with a sideways glance at Burt, “You’re relaxed about this.” 

“I thought I got a girl pregnant for half a year. Everybody thought I did, including my mom. I’m over that, you know? If I’m not in trouble, I’m just glad I did it for real this time.”

At Kurt’s bewildered, and frankly, alarmed expression, Finn rushes to add, “I did sex – I mean, I had sex, for real this time! Not the pregnant part. No. We used condoms, I swear! Not that this is my first real time since then, but like, the first time it mattered. Santana didn’t really count.” Finn’s smile drops as he considers something else. “Or, do you mean like, relaxed about you and Blaine doing it? I’m over that, too. I’ve grown up. Gay guys do butt stuff, it’s whatever.” 

The agonized look is back on Kurt’s face as he struggles to respond to anything Finn’s just said, his coffee cup hovering in front of his re-reddening face as Burt guffaws loudly from the kitchen table. 

“Hey, as long as you’re being responsible and treating your partners right, I got nothin’,” Burt says. “I’m here if you need anything, alright? Just, stay safe.”

Both boys nod. 

“I’m taking my coffee to my room,” Kurt announces, avoiding their glances as he leaves. He turns at the foot of the stairs and adds, “Thanks, Dad. And Finn, despite the, um… crude way that you said it, I – it’s nice to know. I do appreciate it.” 

Finn shrugs. “It’s nothing, bro. I’m just not being a dick.” 

Burt picks his newspaper back up, grinning at the picture of Blaine and Rachel staring into each other’s eyes. “Our protagonists, in love and on the verge of adulthood, are so convincing in their charming young romance that one might think they had real-life experience to draw from!”

That columnist has no idea.

[vcg73]

Witch!Kurt Chapter 25: Family Night

This is one of those sort of rambling ones that I couldn’t seem to corral. Sorry for the mild cliff-hanger at the end. I didn’t want to get too far into that bit in this chapter. :)

~*~*~*~*~*~

Burt reached the top of the stairs and listened intently for a moment. It had been quite a while since he had heard the shower turn off, but he was reluctant to disturb his son and Adam if they were still talking or … well, he did not want to interrupt them either way.

Hearing no obvious sounds from behind Kurt’s closed door, he decided it was probably safe to knock. He waited a few moments afterward, surprised to receive no response. Had they left? Off the top of his head, he could not remember whether Adam had that transportation power or not. 

Hoping he was not about to walk in on something he shouldn’t, Burt ventured to open the door and peek inside. What he saw made him relax. The young couple was lying on top of Kurt’s freshly made bed, fully dressed and snuggled in each other’s arms as they napped peacefully together.

Poor kids. Between the adrenaline rush of Adam’s adventure, their shared panic attack, Kurt’s magical morning workout, and the mutual stress-relief he was certain they had been enjoying up here earlier, he supposed they must be exhausted.

Burt debated with himself, then decided they probably needed food just as much as they did sleep. Kurt had told him over Christmas that magic sapped a lot of resources, and that he was usually starving after he’d been using it for any length of time.

With years of experience in the best way to wake Kurt without startling him, Burt stepped forward to gently shake his son’s shoulder, whispering, “Kurt? Hey, buddy. It’s time to wake up.”

Bleary blue eyes opened with reluctant slowness. “Dad?”

He reached down to ruffle the thick brush of still-damp brown hair fondly. “Yeah. Sorry to disturb you, but Carole says dinner will be ready in just a few minutes. Do you two want to come down for it, or should I ask her to save you both a plate?”

Kurt grunted and sat up, hitching himself forward a little and swinging his legs over the side of the bed, careful not to disturb Adam. He rubbed at his stomach when it let out an audible gurgle, expressing its own opinion on what he should do. Kurt laughed a bit. “Dinner sounds great. I didn’t mean to fall asleep. Adam zonked out and I figured I’d just keep him company for a minute.” He yawned and made a token effort to fix his hair. “How long have we been up here?”

“A couple of hours,” Burt said, patting his shoulder when his eyes went wide and he opened his mouth to apologize. “It’s fine. Guess you both needed a chance to relax.”

Kurt winced at the slight emphasis on the word, clearly realizing that some of their recent activity must have been audible downstairs. “I thought we were being quiet.”

Burt raised an eyebrow. “You were. Mostly.”

“Mostly?” he said faintly. 

“Oh Kuht, you are a God!” Burt mocked with a half-hearted try at duplicating Adam’s British accent.

Kurt raised both hands to his burning cheeks, but was unable to keep from smiling. “Oh wow, you heard that? Sorry Dad.  Um … are you okay?”

“I’ll live, though I am rethinking those new tiles I put up in that bathroom last summer,” he said wryly. Then his lips twitched into a smirk. “But hell, I actually think I’m kinda proud.”

“You ought to be,” Adam interrupted, opening his eyes and smiling sleepily at them both. He looked quite smug as he sat up, yawning and dipping forward to kiss Kurt’s t-shirt clad shoulder. “And I second the vote for dinner. Starvation is closing in as we speak.”

Burt snorted. “Guess you worked up an appetite, huh?” he said, not bothering to hide his amusement. “Between combat class and wandering all over Lima, that is. We’ve got beef stew, salad, and fresh bread waiting downstairs.”

“Food and a nap. The answers to everything,” Adam said, eyes brightening.

Kurt let go a little huff, his tense posture relaxing as he realized that his dad had decided to let the two of them off the hook. “All hail the wisdom of Lord Tubbington.”

Adam sniffed the savory scent that had followed Burt through the open door. “It smells delicious. Just give me half a mo to freshen up, and I’ll be right down.”

Kurt gave him a kiss and then stood up. “Take your time. I’ll go see if Carole needs help setting the table.” 

Reaching out quickly, Burt stopped him. “Wait. Before you go down, I need to talk to you both for a minute. Do you remember over Christmas when you guys looked at Carole with your witch goggles and said that she could be one of you?”

“We said that she had unmanifested Potential,” Adam corrected. “Meaning that she carries the genetic component to be a witch, but her power never developed.”

Burt nodded eagerly. “Right, but see that’s what I’m saying. Something weird has been going on with her over the last few weeks. She didn’t want me to bother you, knowing how much stuff of your own you’ve both been dealing with, but we agreed to quit trying to protect each other from the truth, and I figured you’d want to know.” Kurt indicated his agreement, his expression serious. “Carole dismisses it all as being tired or imagining things, but I’m not convinced. See, ever since we saw Blaine after New Year’s, she’s been having these symptoms.”

“Whoa, wait a second,” Kurt said, waving a hand to stop his father’s words. “You saw Blaine? Are you both okay? Why didn’t you tell me?”

He harrumphed. “We’re fine, and I’m telling you now. It was the day we got back from New York. Blaine was waiting for us when we landed, all ready to give us a ride home from the airport. It was no secret to anyone that we were visiting you over the holidays, but how he found out when we’d be getting back, I have no idea. For all I know, he grilled the mailman.  Anyhow, Adam’s magical cologne helped us keep our heads when he started pouring on the charm, though it kind of made me feel itchy all over, like a bug was crawling up my skin. I guessed it was his persuasive influence rippling against your force-field, like in those sci-fi shows Carole likes to watch.”

“Very likely,” Adam agreed. He scooted off the bed and moved to lean against the nearest wall, crossing his arms over his chest in a habitual thinking pose. “In fact, I suppose it’s possible that being around so much magic lately, including frequently wearing Burt’s pendant and my perfume, just might have sparked Carole’s dormant power. We know she already had at least a modicum of active magic, just by her ability to sense the memories the girls infused into her necklace. If her magic was entirely inert she’d have received no more than a warm feeling of affection. Not clear, if somewhat oddly blended, memories. Burt, what else has been happening?”

“Well, I’m not sure given that she’s been a little closed-mouth about the whole thing, but I know she got a real bad migraine after we ran into Blaine. And she snapped at him for the first time I can remember. Said he had no business acting all friendly to us after what he did, and she didn’t want him dropping by anymore. He got a real weird look on his face when she said that. That boy isn’t used to hearing the word “no”.”

“Or at least not paying attention to it,” Kurt grumbled. “Sorry, go on.”

“Well, I thought that’d be the last of it, but then Carole started getting these moody moments. Like she’ll get really angry, or suddenly start to cry, or burst out laughing, and then a minute later she’s fine and sort of confused about whatever made her do it.  I’m really getting worried about her. I mean, I guess it could just be something biological. Menopause, or some kind of delayed stress syndrome that our grief therapist missed when we were going to all those sessions after your brother passed, but I don’t want to take any chances if it’s something more in your line.”

Kurt’s eyebrows had furrowed. “Wow. I’m glad you told us. We need to help her. Adam, what do you think?”

“It does sound as if she’s had a late manifestation of her power. I’d rather not turn my Sight on her again without her knowledge. I felt a bit weird about doing that before. I suggest for now we just go downstairs and have a pleasant dinner. We’ve all been pretty worked up today and if she is developing a Talent for empathy, it wouldn’t be a good idea to bombard the poor woman with our collective anxiety.”

“Try to keep the magical shop-talk to a minimum until everyone is nice and relaxed,” Kurt agreed. “I was thinking the same thing. When a good opportunity shows up, we can ask for permission to See her aura again. I don’t think she’ll actually object to the idea of being a witch, but I’d rather not spring it on her out of the blue.”

Burt nodded. “Thanks, son. I really appreciate this. What do you say we go set the table and act like an everyday, average, non magical family for a while?”

“I’ll be down in a few moments,” Adam promised.  “Kurt, would you mind if I borrowed your mobile?”

He reached into his pocket and handed it over. “Sure.” He smiled when his empty stomach suddenly lodged another complaint. Giving it a pat, he warned his fiance. “Just don’t take too long or I won’t leave you any dinner.“

Adam laughed and gave him a quick kiss. “Duly noted.”

~*~*~*~*~

“I ran over to the store earlier and grabbed a bottle of that merlot you and Carole both like, a pack of light beer for me, and a few of those orange sodas I saw back at your place for Adam,” Burt said in the kitchen a few minutes later.

“Thanks, I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.”

“No problem. It’s not like when you, Finn, and Sam all lived here and half the glee club was usually tagging along behind you. It wasn’t easy to keep up when I had an endless parade of teenagers roaming through my refrigerator twelve hours a day.”

Kurt laughed, pulling out four sets of cutlery to go with a set of bowls and plates he took down from the dish cupboard. “I understand your pain. I have a coven of nine people going in and out of my apartment all the time and we’re always hungry. If you want, we can ask Brittany to use her magic and restock the fridge for you before we go home tomorrow.”

Burt chuckled. “Maybe I will. Speaking of large gatherings, how’s the wedding planning going? You guys still set on a Valentine’s wedding?”

As if conjured by the mention of his impending nuptials, Carole was suddenly by Kurt’s side. “Oh, yes. I want to hear the details!”

For a few minutes, Kurt happily told them all about his and Adam’s plans. A ceremony with his coven in the morning, followed by a civil service at the courthouse with just their families and Kurt’s best man (Adam was planning to give his little brother the honor.) in attendance, then on to the large reception hall where the rest of the coven would have everything set up for a grand party.

“We only have the hall for three hours that afternoon, but that’s enough time for everyone to have hors d'oeuvres and wedding cake, and get some songs and dances and toasting in before we take off on our honeymoon.”

“Where have you decided to go?” Carole asked eagerly. “With transportation magic you can go anywhere in the world!”

He nodded. “True, and Elliott already offered a lift.  Unfortunately, we can only afford to do a long weekend since I’ll still be busy with school, but we’re hoping to take a couple of weeks in the summer and see some of Europe. I’ve always dreamed of going there, and that will give us a few months for this business with Blaine to be wrapped up, and for Adam to have hopefully recovered enough that he can show me around. His dad used to have business trips that took him all over, and he would just pack up his kids and Transport them along with him. I felt a little like I might be cheating Adam out of something he’s always wanted to do when I found that out, but he’s really excited to see his old haunts again, to show me his favorite spots and introduce me to some of his old friends.”

Carole sighed rapturously. “That sounds just lovely, and there’s nothing wrong with delaying things until you’re settled. A European honeymoon would be romantic, no matter when you end up taking it.”

Burt gave her a fond squeeze around the waist. “Is that a hint?”

“Hey, that’s right!  Thanks to Dalton, you never did get your own honeymoon,” Kurt remembered. “Maybe you should go this year.  Adam and I are going to ask Henry for transportation when we go, and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind doing the same for you guys. Adam says he’s not restricted by familiarity with the location the way Santana and Elliott both are.”

“We may take you up on that one of these days,” Burt said with a smile. “Or we may do it the old fashioned way. We’ve got a little extra put away now and might be nice to see what a first-class flight is like.”

Carole gave him a kiss on his round cheek, and then clapped her hands. “I’ll get some travel brochures on Monday and we can start making plans! But for right now, let’s get this food on the table before everything gets cold.”

As the three of them moved into the dining area, Burt said, “Oh by the way, kid, I picked you up some winter s’mores for dessert.”

Kurt licked his lips. “Really? That’s awesome!”

“What’s a winter s’more?” Adam asked, walking in to join them. He had combed his hair neatly and straightened out his nap rumpled clothing. Giving Kurt a kiss and handing his phone back, he relieved Carole of the large salad bowl she had just taken out of the refrigerator, helpfully putting a serving on each salad plate as Kurt set the dishes in place.

Carole told him, “They’re one of Kurt’s favorites. Graham crackers, chocolate frosting, and a spray of Reddi-Whip. He introduced Finn and me to them the winter after Burt and I got married, and the first night I think my son polished off an entire box of crackers and a can of frosting all by himself.”

Adam laughed. “Well then, I’m definitely looking forward to being the next convert.”

The family took their places around the table, Burt putting a ladle-full of fragrant beef stew in each of their bowls. The four of them spontaneously clinked their assorted cans and glasses in a cheerful toast before they began to eat.

“Wonderful as always,” Kurt said, after a hearty bite of his stew. “Nobody makes this like you do, Carole.”

“Thank you, sweetie. Adam, would you like some bread?”

He put his spoon down and held out his hand to accept the small plate she was offering. “Please. I agree with Kurt. I feel I could eat the entire pot of stew single handed.”

Burt smiled around a bite. “Help yourself. Just save some room for dessert.”

“Tell me more about these s’mores.  How exactly did you come about discovering your fondness for them?” Adam asked, taking a bit more salad as well and dribbling a light serving of dressing on top. “Were you a scout of some sort?”

Kurt laughed. “No way. This may surprise you, but I actually love camping. Every summer, from the time I was about three, Dad would take me to a place just a little northwest of here called Cody Lake. My mom wasn’t an outdoors person, so she’d take the opportunity of a few child-free days to visit with friends or get some things done, while Dad and I went out and played manly men of the woods together.”

Burt joined in, “I admit with a lot of hind-sight embarrassment that my original motive for those weekends was stupid. I had just got my first inkling that Kurt was gay when he was coming up on his third birthday, so I got it in my head that if I introduced him to stuff like fishing and camping, that I could head his sexuality off at the pass.” He and Kurt exchanged a rueful look. Seeing Adam’s surprised face, Burt shrugged. “Let’s just say I had my head a lot farther up my ass when I was your age. Anyhow, much to my surprise, Kurt took to the great outdoors like a duck to water. He thought sleeping in a tent and cooking around the campfire were terrific fun.”

“There were lots of bird and animals, trail songs, lying out on the sleeping bags looking up at millions of stars overhead,” Kurt said, eyes shining like he could still see those twinkling lights. “We took hikes through woods filled with flowers and streams; went swimming in the lake; and of course there was plenty of fishing, which for some reason I found absolutely hilarious. Whenever a fish would grab one of dad’s worms and start tugging at his line, I would just roll over laughing. Then at night there were ghost stories and s’mores around the campfire.”

Adam looked surprised but absolutely charmed. “You enjoyed ghost stories?  Even though you were barely out of nappies?”

Kurt gave him a teasing smile. “Even as a wee baby camper, I was fearless.”

“He really was,” Burt agreed. “Though to be fair, they were pretty mild stories.  Except for that one about the vampires who lived in the caverns at the south end of the campgrounds. That was a mistake that I lived to regret!”

“I think I was five when he told me that story,” Kurt said, shivering dramatically at the memory. “He got a little carried away with the details and I started crying. I was sure a bunch of blood-thirsty monsters were going to pop up out of the ground and eat us.  He eventually got me calmed down enough to go to sleep but then I woke up from some kind of noise in the middle of the night and wormed my way into Dad’s bag for protection.”

Burt snorted. “Yeah, he went back to sleep and then proceeded to wet the bed. And me! I spent the rest of the night standing guard against vampires. After that, you can bet I stuck with stories about nice friendly baby animals frolicking in the forest.”

Adam managed to make a convincing ‘aww’ face, even though he was laughing too hard to continue eating. “You poor little thing. Serves you right, Burt. I suppose that story is what planted the seed for Kurt’s continued aversion to those nasty blighters.”

“If they aren’t sparkling and angst-ridden, I don’t wanna deal with ‘em,” Kurt said vehemently, making the others laugh.

“Can’t say I was too fond of vampires myself after that night,” Burt said with a wry shake of his head. “Other than that one incident, though, we always had a real good time. I think the only thing about camping that Kurt didn’t like was the dirt and lack of regular bathrooms, but I guess he figured it was a good trade-off.”

Kurt smiled. “Which brings us back to the s’mores. They’re how he calmed me down after the story. Dad had discovered the first time he made them that I would agree to just about anything for graham crackers, chocolate and marshmallows.”  His expression went a little melancholy. “I was eight the last summer we went camping.”

“The winter after, his mom died,” Burt clarified, shooting Kurt an apologetic look. “I should’ve kept it up, but I just didn’t have much heart for stuff like that for a long time. The winter s’mores happened the year he was ten and Kurt got sick. He picked up a really awful cold with a lot of chest congestion, and it turned into bronchitis. He had to stay in bed a while and he was miserable. My sister offered to come out and stay with us so I could work part time, and it helped, but I felt guilty every time I had to leave him alone.”

Kurt reached out and squeezed his hand. “I got scared that maybe I was sicker than I thought because he brought me so many stuffed animals and games that week. Basically, all I had to do was ask for something and Dad was jumping to get it.”

“Then one night, I asked him to tell me if there was anything special he wanted to eat. His appetite wasn’t the greatest at the best of times, but being sick had pretty much killed it off, so when he asked if there was any way we could have s’mores, I would’ve moved heaven and earth to get him some.”

“Unfortunately,” Kurt cut in, “it was the middle of winter and everything was frozen solid. We couldn’t use the barbecue and we didn’t have a fireplace in our house. But we did have a box of graham crackers, and we used to live just down the street from a little market, so Dad got all bundled up and mushed out into the storm. Aunt Mildred thought he was crazy.”

“When I got to the store, they’d been cleaned out of marshmallows by people wanting hot chocolate, but I found a big can of whipped cream in the cold case, and a can of Betty Crocker chocolate frosting on the shelf. I managed to get ‘em home and put everything together the best I could. They weren’t exactly real s’mores, but they seemed to make him happy.”

“I thought they were the best thing ever,” Kurt laughed. “After that, I started requesting them every winter. I didn’t want them any other time, but when the weather got cold I always requested what we started calling winter s’mores. Even when I got really calorie-conscious in high school, I could never resist having at least one.”

“I noticed you’re eating better since you moved to New York,” Burt commented. “Healthy stuff, sure, but also good stuff like cake and ice cream. Figured you might be up for your old favorite.”

He smiled. “I’m glad you thought of it.  Besides, ever since I started using magic it seems like it doesn’t matter how much I stuff my face, I stay thin anyway.”

“Makes me wish you’d inherited the witchy powers from me,” Burt said, ruefully patting the rounded surface of his belly. He had taken up regular exercise since his heart attack , but middle age had still managed to settle comfortably around his waist.

Adam laughed, spooning up the last bite of his dinner and regretfully waving away Carole’s inquiring gesture with the serving bowl. “Well, I for one am looking forward to trying these dessert masterpieces. However, I think you owe your gorgeous figure more to youth and an active lifestyle than to witchcraft, darling,” he said, copying Burt’s gesture and patting his own flat stomach. Adam was still noticeably on the thin side after his ordeal with the Void, but he said, “You’ve met my dad. He’s a very powerful witch, but … well, I should warn you that you’re likely seeing a vision of your future husband there. I always have taken after him in looks.”

Kurt just smiled at him. “I promise to always keep you on a healthy diet and regular exercise routine, if you’ll do the same for me.  To be honest, though, as long as you’re healthy and happy I won’t care if you end up looking like a blond Sumo wrestler. There’ll just be more of you to cuddle with.”

Adam’s eyes were fond and full of love, knowing that while he was only teasing, Kurt really would love him just as much, no matter what sort of physical appearance he had. After all, had he not already proved that? “Ditto, darling. Though if you should feel like modeling the mawashi a bit early, I wouldn’t object.”

“The what?” Burt said with a frown.

“The costume Sumo wresters wear,” Adam told him, eyes twinkling.

He considered that. “The thong diaper?” He grimaced, but then shrugged philosophically. “Wouldn’t be the weirdest thing my kid has ever put on. Trust me.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Kurt said dryly while Adam and Carole both chortled. He stood and said, “Why don’t I just go grab the dessert and some hot chocolate for all of us.”

Adam jumped up. “I’ll help. That’s a bit of a load for one person. We’ll just whisk these dishes out of the way and be back in a flash.”

He and Kurt shooed Carole out when she tried to insist on helping with the dishes, pointing out that she had cooked, so someone else should clean. Burt, more used to his son’s bossy domesticity and amused to see that Adam apparently shared in it, just knocked back the last swallow of his beer and escorted his wife out to the living room.

Kurt moved about the Hummel kitchen with the practice of long familiarity. He had not lived here in quite some time, but Carole had not moved things around too much. He got out the frosting and crackers, instructing Adam just how much to put on each so they would not be too messy after he added a spray of whipped cream to another cracker and sandwiched the two together. While he constructed their dessert, Kurt whipped up a batch of his deliciously rich hot cocoa.

“I really love watching you and your dad together,” Adam said after a moment. “You’re so wonderfully in tune. At first glance, you don’t seem very much alike, but once you start sharing memories with one another I can absolutely see it.”

“You and Henry are close,” Kurt said, borrowing the whipped cream to add a bit to each steaming cup.

Adam nodded. “We are, but it’s different for us. I had Gran to take the place of my mum after she passed. Not that I didn’t miss her, but the hole in my life wasn’t quite as big as it otherwise might have been and Dad didn’t have to try and fill it all alone. Plus I had Beth and Celie and little Donnie to share the loss with, and Dad had all of us. That made it a bit easier for my family to pick up the pieces.  You and Burt didn’t have that. You had only each other, and anyone can see that even with a few years where you had trouble speaking with one another, you still managed to get each other through brilliantly.”

Kurt smiled. “Yeah. I guess we did.” He lowered his voice and asked, “Do you think Carole is relaxed enough to tell her what we talked about upstairs?”

He nodded. “Let’s go find out. I think we should just slide magic back into the conversation gradually and see if your dad picks up the cue.”

They put the finished offering on two trays and each carried one out to the waiting parents.

Burt and Carole had curled up together on one end of the sofa, leaving the soft red loveseat for the younger couple. Adam tried a winter s’more and declared it excellent, liking it even better after following Carole’s example and giving the treat a dunk in his hot cocoa. “You Hummels are clever chaps,” he said, dispatching another.

“Well, you know what they say about necessity being the mother of invention,” Burt said with a smile, nibbling a graham cracker with far less zeal than his son, who was already happily munching his third. “And when it’s your kid and you just want to put a smile on his face, you learn to get creative. You’ll see one day, maybe.”

Kurt and Adam looked at one another, surprise in their eyes.

“Actually, we haven’t really talked about that,” Kurt admitted. “I suppose we should, though, before we get married. Between how much your three younger siblings adore you, and the way you are with both the Apples and the coven, I’ve sort of just assumed you’d want to be a dad one day.”

Adam shifted, inviting Kurt to curl against him as he settled more comfortably in the big leather chair. “I would like to be, but I’m in no great rush. I seem to collect strays everywhere I go, so it’s not vitally important to me that I have someone to share DNA with. I’d be just as pleased to adopt one day, though I rather fancy the thought of a little baby with your beautiful eyes and amazing talents. However, I don’t even know if parenthood is something you’ve wished for.”

Kurt scooted down a bit so that he could rest his head against Adam’s shoulder while his fiance’s arms came around to cuddle him securely. “I don’t know if I have, to be perfectly honest. When I was young, I just assumed I would never have kids because I was gay.” He laughed a little. “But then attitudes and tech both advanced and it became a possibility. I’m still not sure, though. I like kids, but I’m not super comfortable with them. When I was with Blaine, he was always very insistent that someday we would have both a boy and a girl, and that we had to have names picked out for them. It was a fun fantasy and I didn’t mind going along with it, but he pretty much had their hypothetical lives completely mapped out for them years before they were even conceived.”

“Selfish twat,” Adam grumbled. “That’s no way to raise a child. They’re people, not dolls. They also require a good bit of self sacrifice, which I can’t imagine from that one.  As you and Burt so capably proved, it isn’t up to the parents to dictate how their children will be. It’s their job to simply accept those children and take good care of them; to guide them toward being honorable and responsible adults with independent minds and good decision-making abilities.”

“Thanks,” Burt said with a nod, “and I agree with my son. You will make a terrific father one day if you already know all that.  I also think I may have underestimated Henry, because it took me a lot of years to figure all that stuff out. I’m just lucky that Kurt was such a great kid while I was stumbling through raising him.”

Kurt smiled at him. “Thanks, but you were a great dad and I won’t hear any argument about it. Anyway, I do think I’ll want to be a parent at some point. But I’d prefer to put it off for a few years, until our lives are more stable and we’ve had some time to just be us first. Mister and Mister last name to be determined, the epitome of domestic bliss and crazy coven leadership.”

Adam chuckled and kissed his hair. “That sounds entirely reasonable, love. And I vote for keeping our own surnames, perhaps hyphenate at some future point, for ease of identification if we do decide to have children. The Crawford clan has a rather distinguished lineage among witches that I don’t want to abandon, and I know you feel equally proud of the Hummel legacy. Besides, I’m looking forward to seeing Kurt Hummel in lights one day and boasting to anyone who will listen that he’s my husband. We want to be certain your name fits properly on a theater marquis.”

Kurt lifted his head to give Adam a kiss. “Agreed. And thank you. It’s nice to know I’m with someone who doesn’t just assume I’ll take his name.”

With a sigh, Adam held him tighter. “You make me wish I’d had the presence of mind to shoot a good strong itching spell at that nasty blighter when I saw him today.”

“Can you do that?” Kurt asked curiously.

“Mmm. I’ll teach it to you when we get home,” Adam promised, seeming to take distinct pleasure in the thought of unleashing it on their enemy. “Or perhaps the one meant to loosen or tighten the ravel on woven materials. I’m told the spell was created by some clever weaver back in pre-industrial days, but it’s also quite handy for pranking a victim so that his trousers are constantly slipping down, or tearing out at the seat when he bends. With your particular power combination you should be able to handle it with no problem at all.”

Kurt elbowed him, unable to keep from laughing. “Adam, that’s terrible! I never would have pictured you as a practical joker.”

He grinned mischievously. “Oh, there’s a reason Santana picked me for a spying partner. She must have sensed my wicked school-boy past.  My two closest chums and I got up to all sorts of larks. Spent half our lives in the Headmaster’s office. I’d grown out of those impulses by the time I graduated, but I’m suddenly discovering the urge again.  Another prank we might unleash on your ex is a potion that acts as a sort of reverse Viagra. It will temporarily shrivel his willy to the size of a peanut if we can figure out how to make him ingest it.”

Kurt deadpanned, “I don’t know if that’s a good choice. I’m assuming you want a spell that will be noticed.”

For a moment, the room was dead quiet. Then Kurt smirked and the others all burst into whoops of mirth.

Wiping his eyes on the back of his sleeve, Burt chuckled, “I think it’s a real lucky thing for your classmates that you didn’t have magic when you lived here, kid. I’d have been getting called in to your principal’s office every other day.”

“If they ever found out it was me,” he said slyly. Then he shrugged. “Actually, Johnny said that too. The day I accidentally slagged Blaine’s old warbler figurine, he said it was a good thing I couldn’t do things like that during high school. Maybe that’s part of the reason I didn’t manifest until I was away from Ohio. My subconscious may have held me back as much as Rachel and Blaine did.”

“Speaking of Blaine,” Burt said in an all too casual manner. “I was telling the boys about him trying to give us a ride home from the airport.”

Carole seemed to realize immediately that that was not all he had told them. She sat up, giving him an exasperated look. “Oh, Burt, you know I didn’t want to worry Kurt and Adam. It’s nothing!”

“I don’t think it is. Why don’t you tell ‘em, honey. Maybe they can help.”

Kurt got up and sat down next to his step-mother, taking her hand and encouraging her with a nod.

She considered it for a moment, then sighed. “Well, all right.  I’m sure it was just a coincidence, or some side effect of the protection potion Adam made for us, but the moment we spoke with Blaine, I started to develop a terrible headache. The longer we talked, the worse it got. When he started using that old coaxing tone on us, trying to get us to tell him all about our visit with you, I also got a sudden stronger sensation of anxiety and fear. I felt almost as if my body had been taken over by someone else. I suddenly got so angry that I could have happily taken the bouquet of flowers he brought for me and beat him unconscious with it.  I’ve never felt that way before.”

“It was pretty great,” Burt added. “Carole yanked her hand out of Blaine’s and told him that it was none of his business how you were doing and that he wasn’t welcome at our house anymore. I told him that went double for any more drop ins at the garage, and if I ever caught him trying to put his slimy mitts on you again, I’d introduce him to my flame-thrower and find out if his hair is a greasy as it always looks. He scurried out of that place like his ass was already on fire.”

Kurt laughed. “That might not have been the wisest move, but I appreciate it.  You know, Dad, one of these days I need to buy you a real flame-thrower,” he said. “You’ve been threatening people with that imaginary one since I was six.”

“I already got a real one. I got you,” Burt shot back. He snapped his fingers and pretended to shoot magical flames with his hands, making Kurt and Adam both smile.

“He has a point there,” Adam said fondly. “So, Carole, did the headaches and such fade once you were away from Blaine?  I sincerely apologize for the severity of your symptoms, by the way. I hadn’t anticipated my potion having any adverse affect upon you two physically.”

She nodded. Brushing the tips of her fingers through her reddish blonde bangs, she bit her lip. “The headache faded almost immediately when we left the airport, but ever since then …”

“Tell us,” Kurt encouraged her gently.

“I keep getting … I don’t know how to describe it. Flashes, I suppose. Impressions of other people’s thoughts and feelings. It’s the strangest thing!  It doesn’t happen all of the time, or even most of the time, but every now and then, I’ll be walking through the grocery store or dealing with someone at the clinic, and I’m suddenly flooded with happiness, or sadness, or in one rather embarrassing instance, visions of a coworker’s sex life!”

Burt squeezed her knee. “On Monday, I stubbed my toe real hard at work and I was hopping around and swearing, and the phone rings and it’s Carole, all worried and asking me if I’m okay. Weirdest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“I’ve been trying to tell myself that I was just stressed or overtired, but it’s starting to happen more frequently and I don’t know why. Do you think that Blaine could have done something to me?” Carole asked anxiously. “I was considering asking you about it the next time I called, but it seemed so silly.”

“It’s not silly,” Kurt assured her. “Believe me, I know how weird it can be to suddenly have magic pushing in on you from every direction. Carole, I want to do something. Do you remember when Adam and I explained Sight? If you don’t object, I’d like to use mine on you. Is that okay?”

Looking a little apprehensive, she nodded.

Kurt blinked his eyes firmly, activating the power. Sure enough, the murky grayish fog he had perceived around Carole when he had looked at her this way over the holidays had changed, as though the sun had come out and burned away the fog, leaving a ray of sunlight directly overhead. His dad was right. Carole’s long-dormant magic had unexpectedly activated.

“Is it empathy?” he asked, turning to Adam, who also narrowed his eyes and took a look.

He nodded. “Almost certainly. Mixed with more than a trace of telepathy, I would say, given what she described about receiving impressions of specific events. ”

Carole looked back and forth between the two of them, her mouth falling open a little. “Are you telling me that I’ve developed magic? But how is that possible? I thought you said a witch’s powers manifest during puberty.”

“Mostly,” Adam agreed with a reassuring smile. “But it has been known to happen at other times. It’s extremely rare for anyone to manifest in their middle years, but not entirely unheard of either.”

Kurt gave her an apologetic look. “I didn’t want you to feel disappointed after how excited you got about my magic, but Adam and I both noticed last month that you had a strong aura of inactive Potential. That means there was power in your blood that never developed. A lot of people have that, like a dormant gene. Apparently for most people, if it doesn’t activate by the time you’ve hit your twenties it never comes at all. We think Finn had it too, and that he was beginning to manifest. It may have been having a magic damper around him delayed his powers, just like it did mine.”

She swallowed, blinking sudden tears from her eyes. “So you’re really saying that I’m a witch? That I’m developing magic at nearly 50 years old.” They nodded, smiling a little at the half fearful, half excited tone in her voice. She laughed and wiped her eyes, then she suddenly gasped. “Oh! Oh my God.  If I passed my Potential on to Finn, does that mean …? The medical examiner told us he had a sudden, unexplainable cardiac arrest. Was it the shock of discovering that he had some form of power that he couldn’t control? Was I …?”

“It was not your fault,” Adam said firmly, catching on quicker than the others. He moved to sit on the coffee table and capture her nervously fluttering hands in his. “Magic takes on many forms, and comes in a wide assortment of strengths and capabilities. I’ve a cousin whose only active power is making flowers bloom, and another who has been known to audibly shout for her rapscallion offspring at a distance of five kilometers. Neither Talent came on without warning. You may have passed on the gene for magic, or perhaps Finn inherited it from both sides of his family, but if he truly needed help then he would have attracted a mentor of some sort. New witches, even the irregular sort like Blaine and Rachel, invariably attract the attention of a more experienced fellow witch. It might be a friend or relative, a Familiar such as Elliott and Tubbington, a school like NYADA, or perhaps a coven of their own if they’re powerful enough. Your son would have been no different.”

“Thank goodness.” She momentarily closed her eyes as the panic reaction left her. She opened them again and looked at Adam, a slight smile lifting her lips. “I … I can feel how much you mean that. Empathy means to share in someone else’s emotions, doesn’t it? So when Blaine tried to coerce me at the airport I felt it as  … I don’t quite know. Insincerity? Danger? Is that why I reacted so strongly?”

“Maybe,” Kurt said. “You did tell me before that you didn’t like Blaine, that you always felt like there was something fake about him. Maybe your power had already started blossoming a little. Brittany says that my Potential was really noticeable to her long before it became fully active. The coven has told me it’s not unusual to have some false starts.”

She shook her head. “But if all that’s true, shouldn’t I have attracted a mentor? Is it because I’m already close to you boys and your friends?”

“That’s a very good question,” Adam said with a smile. “And fortunately, one that I thought to call in an expert for. I gave Lord Tubbington a ring when Burt spoke to us earlier, via Brittany. I’ve never dealt with a new witch at your stage; having abundant experience with life but none whatsoever in witchcraft, and I needed a spot of advice.  Apparently L.T.  took one look at you when he was here this afternoon and sent out some sort of message. Don’t ask me what, or to whom. Familiars don’t quite operate by the same rules as the rest of us, but from what I gather they have some form of internal communications, which explains how they always seem to know exactly where they need to go, like Elliott sensing Kurt’s burgeoning Potential all the way from Paramus.

Kurt nodded. “Interesting, and thanks for doing that, honey. I wouldn’t have thought of asking Tubbington. I was wondering if we should invite Carole to join our coven, but that wouldn’t be practical. I can’t stay in Lima, and she can’t just pack up her life and move to New York.” He looked seriously at his parents. “I hope you’re ready for another housemate, because I suspect you’re about to get a Familiar of your very own. Someone who can give you the one on one training you’ll need. And trust me, there’s a lot to learn!”

Burt rolled his eyes. “Great. We may need you to give up your room here, son. Because cat or no cat, this new helper is not going to start sleeping in our bed with us.  At least we know none of us is allergic.”

Kurt just smiled at the grouching, knowing it was just a cover for how worried he felt for Carole. He also knew that his dad liked to keep Kurt’s old space free for him “just in case”.

“Well, whoever Tubbington sends our way, I trust that they’ll be a good fit for me. And maybe they can help us figure out how to help poor Sam if he agrees to move back in with us. Then Kurt and Adam can spend less time worrying about us, and more time concentrating on their own lives,” Carole said, taking a deep breath and nodding to herself as she resolved to put the matter out of her mind for now. “Why don’t you boys tell us more about your day’s adventure? That combat magic class sounds very exciting.”

Adam and Kurt exchanged a glance, both recognizing that Carole did not wish to think any more about it for now, and was requesting a distraction from her worries. So they obliged, filling the rest of the evening with detailed accounts of Kurt’s ‘battle’ against the rubber ball blitz, and Adam’s meeting with Coach Sylvester and subsequent walk through town.  Then Adam recreated his job interview with the head of Henderson Productions, followed by Kurt’s lively description of the headaches he had been experiencing with his play and how nervous he was about putting it on for an audience that would include a panel of NYADA instructors that would be judging his play-writing, directing, and acting progress.  

They deliberately kept the story-telling going until everyone was relaxed again and ready to head to bed for the night

 ~*~*~*~*~*~

 The next morning, while the family was enjoying breakfast, the doorbell rang.  

“I wonder why they’re ringing the bell instead of just coming in?” Kurt said, wiping his lips and hurrying to answer the door.

Before opening it, he sent out a magical feeler just as he had been trained to do in New York, in case there happened to be an unwelcome visitor on the other side. It was a worthwhile precaution because while Blaine had no reason to show up here, being unwelcome had never stopped him before.

The signature on the other side was not his ex, and it also did not belong to his coven mates as he had been expecting. In fact, the person on the other side was someone he recognized but had never expected to see here.

All but yanking the door open, Kurt blinked in surprise at finding no one on the other side. Then he heard a sound and looked down. A large brown long-haired cat was sitting calmly on the doormat waiting to be acknowledged. Kurt glowered at it. Even in the form of a cat, he recognized those wicked green eyes. “What are you doing here?”

“Lord Tubbington told me it was time.” With no more explanation than that, the newcomer suddenly took on human form and pushed past the astonished Kurt like he owned the place. He looked around with an air of curiosity mixed with haughty judgment. “Hmm, very ‘Leave it to Beaver’ but I suppose it will have to do. Where is she?”

“You … she … you can’t be Carole’s new Familiar,” Kurt sputtered.

A lazy smirk tilted Sebastian Smythe’s lips and his narrow green eyes gleamed with amusement. “And yet, here I am.”

 THE END

[spaceorphan18]

99 Perspectives on a Single Love Story #7 (+Bonus Scene)

A/N: The Story of Kurt and Blaine told through the eyes of everyone else but them. Each chapter is a different perspective in the ongoing tale of their love story.

I started something like this a while back - and now I’m taking the idea and really running with it. Each chapter is a ficlet of a different character at a different point in Kurt and Blaine’s life - documenting their love story. This starts in Audition, and each chapter will be paired with a different episode until reaching Dreams Come True.

I’m using this as a fun writing experiment for a) writing short things and b) writing things from a multitude of varying perspectives.   Have fun! :)

[Ao3]

***

Holly Holliday : The Substitute

Another day, another successful class wrapped up and forgotten about.  Life as a substitute teacher is thrilling as it is unstable, not that Holly minds either.  Bringing a smile to the kids’ faces and then getting the hell out of there is what she lives for - that and a really good bottle of chardonnay.  Nothing beats helping out these glee kids, though.  She isn’t sure what kind of drab lesson plan Will Schuester keeps giving these kids, but in the past week, they’ve certainly come alive.  It brightens her day.  That is why she became a teacher in the first place, right? To help the kids?

“Ms. Holliday, would you mind if I have a private word?” The boy who had asked her to sub for Mr. Schuester pulls her aside after glee officially ends.  He’s sweet, but god if she can remember his name right now.  Kirk? No, Kurt. It’s definitely one of the two.  She won’t be around next week, so no need to figure it out .  

“Of course you can,” she says with a broad grin.  “I would gladly like to help you out with whatever I can.”

“I was wondering if…” he looks around, waiting for his classmates to leave the room.  Oh, this must be juicy.  He tries again, this time in a lower voice.  “I was wondering if you knew how to tell when you’re out with a... a person whether it’s a date or not.  See, I have this friend, and lately we’ve been going out to lunch a lot, and he pays of course, and we text all the time, and he asked me to go to the theater with him tomorrow.  And I keep waffling on whether I should gussy up for my possible first date or should I play it cool, you know, cause he didn’t say this was a date and I’m totally misinterpreting things and I make a fool of myself or something.  God, I would never recover.”  

Holly puts her head on her hand, endeared.  This kid is too sweet in his earnestness.  Ah, to be young and not so jaded anymore.  

“Look, I’m going to be real honest with you about this - guys, they be kinda dumb sometimes,” she says, amused as his eyes go wide.  “Just last week, I had a guy ask me to one of those superhero movies -- and don’t get me wrong, I love me some explosions and some dreamy Robert Downey Jr., but not the most romantic choice for a date, so I was pretty straightforward.  Were we on a date? He said yes, I said yes, and then some explosions happened in the bedroom.”

The kid looks at her a little uneasy.  Oops, probably shouldn’t have said that last part because he still is a minor.  God, she just loves to talk too much and has too little a filter.    

“...Anyway,” she continues.  “My point is, whether your style is all glammed up or casual and cool - be your authentic self.  Make sure you’re both on the same page. Remember - consent is important no matter what type of relationship it is.  And whatever it turns out to be, it is.”

“Thank you so much, Ms. Holliday!” the kid says excitedly.  “I have to go raid my wardrobe, who am I kidding, friend or something more, it’s always worth it to dress to impress.”  He smiles giddily.  

“Best of luck with your date, Kirk!” she says as he scurries away.  

Ah, another job well done.  Now, to see that girl about the tater tots…

***

BONUS : Mercedes Jones

Things are changing, that much she understands.  He had been so withdrawn when school had started, and even more so after his father’s heart attack.  Mercedes has done all she can to reach out to her friend, to help him through what he’s going through.  But there is only so much she could do, and she recognizes that.  

However, in the past week, something has definitely shifted.  Kurt seems… brighter than usual?  She has never seen Kurt this giddy, and that includes the time they stumbled upon a garage sale where Kurt had found an authentic replica of a pair of gloves Audrey Hepburn had worn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s.  

“Hey, Kurt, how was your weekend?” Mercedes asks Monday morning as they slide into their homeroom desks.  She had been a little bummed that Kurt had to bail on bowling to see a show with his new friend, Blaine, but she had ended up going to the mall with Tina, and scored some great new shoes that she couldn’t wait to show Kurt.  Unfortunately, Kurt is busy texting away, and hadn’t even noticed her sit down.  

“Kurt?”

Kurt’s fingers are flying.

“Kurt!”

He jumps in his seat, startled.

“Oh, hey Mercedes,” he says.

“Do I even need to ask who you’re texting?”

A guilty look crosses Kurt’s face. “Um, sorry, Blaine was just texting me that he had just read that the latest bachelorette just split with her beau. Which, of course she did. That’s what she gets for not choosing the guy she let go in week seven. Blaine totally agrees.”

“So, am I ever going to meet him?” Mercedes asks.

“Who, the guy from the Bachelorette?”

“No, silly, Blaine,” Mercedes says. As irritating as it had been over the last week to listen to Kurt go on and on about Blaine, she has to admit her curiosity has been stirred. “Maybe we should all hang out. You’ve jibber-jabbered about him non-stop all week. I think I’ve earned the right to check this guy out for you.”

Kurt scrunches his nose. “Really, Mercedes?”

“Of course! I mean, he’s obviously important to you if you’ve already got him gossiping about The Bachelorette.”

His cheeks begin to blush a deep shade of red. “Well, okay. Maybe we can try getting together at Breadstix. Blaine has never been there. He swears that this little family owned Italian restaurant near his house has the best chicken Alfredo on the planet, but I doubt they have Breadstix’s breadsticks. Why don’t we go tomorrow night? I’ll text him right now.”

Kurt bends over his phone, ready to text again when the screen lights up.  He bursts out laughing, wiggling in his seat. Mercedes raises an eyebrow at him. “Blaine just texted ‘I want it deep purple,’ which is…” he can barely finish he is laughing so hard. “It’s something we overheard this guy say when we went to Rent on Friday. We think he was one of the understudies or a disgruntled second director or something. And he said the funniest thing. Blaine does the funniest impression of it and….it’s kind of an inside joke. But I’ll get Blaine to do the impression for you when you meet him.”

Great, I get to be the third wheel. Mercedes sinks a little lower in her chair. Things are definitely changing indeed.

[spaceorphan18]

TDB Rewatch: The New York Arc

I was originally going to do a post for each episode - but you know what? I think I’ve talked about this particular part of the series more than any other part - and even though it’s been seven weeks since I’ve even seen an episode of Glee (!!) - I’m not entirely sure I have anything new to say about these episodes, so here we go with one big post for you. 

New New York

Is this still the best episode of the series?  Yes - I think it is.  The entire episode is completely watchable, the music is great, the Klaine stuff is great, everyone gets something interesting to do, Rachel is interesting again, Mercedes re-joins the cast, and even Artie has some funny lines.  This episode almost feels like a pilot of a spin-off series, and I’m a little sad we didn’t get to see more than this arc, because these characters still seem fresh and interesting - and this episode is clearly all setting up the status quo for living in New York.  

I’ve seen the episode so many times now that this one flew by, and while I’m always here for the amazing Klaine stuff - the nice thing is that watching the episode as a whole, I’m not bored with any of it.  I have no new meta to add to the piles of things I’ve already written and said on the podcast, but I’m glad this episode remains enjoyable even after a million rewatches.   

Btw - I still say they should have asked Adam Lambert to be a regular - he adds so much and I’m sad that this is his last appearance on the show. 

Also - I can tell it’s been a while since I’ve watched the show - Chris and Darren are really pretty.  Just thought I should remind you ;) 

///

Bash

So, while Opening Night might be my least favorite of the bunch, but I think as an episode Bash might be the weakest? And actually - I think it might have been better if the Kurt being bashed story line was a) more prominently in the episode or b) not in it at all.  It feels like it’s almost an after thought to Rachel’s (absurd) story - and there’s such a rich story with Kurt (and Blaine) that feels wholly untapped because it’s more about Rachel Berry and her feelings. :P  I do like the little bits of it that we did get, Kurt and Blaine are superb as they are in all of these episodes.  And I mean - it’s nice that Rachel gets yelled at twice for being a moron - even if the whole thing doesn’t hold together very well.  

Meanwhile, I’m not sure how much I have to say about Sam and Mercedes - I enjoy them as a couple, though I can’t say that I’m riveted by their story line. It is nice, though that Amber Riley gets a chance to shine since she’s been away from the show for so long.  I think the awkwardest thing about this episode, (besides Sam’s impressions) is the fact that that the two story lines don’t mesh well, and it feels like the episode starts off as one thing then pivots and does something else entirely in the second half.  

That said - the music is great, as always, everyone sounds really beautiful on all the Soundheim things.  And while I didn’t need two Mercedes solos - she is lovely as always.  

///

Tested

Who knew Artie having an STD would be such a fun episode.  Honestly, I think this is the best episode the show does about sex.  Yes, even over The First Time (even if I like TFT just a smidge more).  Each of the characters are in a unique situation, and come at sex in a different way - and it’s actually pretty cool the way the show handles it.  They’re not usually great with these kind of topics, but I really have no complaints about how they handled anything in this episode.  I especially like the fact that a) Mercedes gets to choose how she wants to deal with sex and b) they let Mercedes and Rachel be actual girl friends when it comes to a topic - again something the show doesn’t always handle the best.  Yes, for all the sex positive conversations in this episode.  

Also, the ‘I’m slut shaming you’ scene might be one of the funniest things the show ever did.  

The only one weighing this one down, and why it isn’t passing NNY by on my favorites list - is that the music just isn’t good.  I mean, all the songs fit the episode fine, and the performances are great, I just don’t like any of the songs.  

Also - Kurt is super extra in this episode - which really reinforces my headcanon that Kurt not getting regular sexy times is super grumpy. 

Anyway, I give kudos to the show for doing an episode that has some actual layers to it in all of its plot lines.  Usually, Glee’s pretty anivilish about everything, but there’s some actual nuance in this story - good job show.  It’s nice to be not spoon fed everything all the time.  

/// 

Opening Night

Well...  This remains the worst of the NYC Arc - and really, only because the stupid and a bit convoluted Sue plot.  Rachel’s arc is a bit silly too (really - I roll my eyes at the whole ‘oh no NYT reporter’ bit, especially when the dude just waxes praise on her like everyone else on the show) - but are some legitimately entertaining things going on during the Rachel side of things.  And I dare say the episode is a little underrated?  There are some good jokes and nice music, and it is exactly what you’d expect from Rachel’s first night (even if I still think Funny Girl should have been placed at the end of the show) and Rachel has been rather held back and used well during the NYC Arc so I don’t mind her spot light here.  

But man, the Sue stuff is tedious.  I kind of forget Will is apart of it (and did logic take some time off again? Because the Emma having a baby thing is...  let’s not get into it).  Sue actually has already arrived at her season 6 self - and even some of the early sequences with her kids aren’t bad, but there are really two scenes that drag this entire episode way, way down -- the date with Mario the restaurant guy, and the last five minutes with Mario the restaurant guy.  Oh my god - why is this the only thing they could think of to do with Sue?  I mean - everything about this plot line screams contractual obligation - needing to give Jane Lynch one episode during this 7.  But could they really not think of anything more interesting for her to do??  DId she really need a date so she and Rachel could sing that song together??  Ug - it is really frustrating that this takes up a third of the episode.  What a waste.  

But, I mean, as a whole, it’s not terrible in the way the worst of Glee is - and really, everything on the Rachel side (mostly) works for me.  It’s a good thing all that Sue/Mario stuff is pretty easily skipped.  

///

The Back-Up Plan

Hey! Another solid episode! It’s weird - the focusing only three story line lets the episode breathe - a lot - to the point it seems strange, lol.  But anyway...  

First there’s Rachel’s story - which I know people were annoyed that Rachel bails a month into Funny Girl, but idk - this seems like Rachel.  And this is the one and really only time she faces serious consequences for her actions.  It’s refreshing really.  Also - Jim Rash is a delight, and that audition scene is priceless.  

Meanwhile - Mercedes and Santana have a great story that I kind of wish there was more of.  Santana’s been gone for most of the arc so far, but I don’t mind her coming back - she’s rather civil and low key during these last few episodes, and it’s a bit refreshing, honestly.  Anyway - I like that pop business is treated with a little more realism than Broadway, as D’Shawn (Mercedes’s producer) seems to tell it like is.  But more so, I feel like there’s a genuine friendship between Mercedes and Santana and that’s pretty refreshing, too.  

And then there’s the June story line.  You know what? I really do not like June.  Sorry.  And I find it a little creepy she wants to mold Blaine into something of her own making.  I’m also... not sure what the purpose of this entire story was? Ah well...  At least we get some really lovely Klaine moments out of the whole thing.  

Bonus - the music in this episode is all pretty solid.  

///

Old Dog, New Tricks

You guys ever notice Artie’s eating dog biscuits in this? Weird things you notice when you watch the whole episode.  Anyway...

Hey - it’s that episode that Chris wrote.  And yeah, it’s a little awkward - in a - you can tell this is a new writer for TV kinda way not in a - this sucks kind of way.  I really wish Chris had stuck with TV writing, I think he showed some real promise, and writing for other shows would have been great experience.  Ah well.  It all just makes me miss Chris actually doing things that are not related to middle school fantasy novels.  

So, for the record, if you guys ever wonder who Chris is, seemingly, frustrated with? Watch this episode - and how he writes Rachel.  She’s been almost acting human in the rest of this arc, and in this episode, she really is back to being really awful.  At least multiple people get to tell her off again - it’s, again, refreshing.  How many times as she been told off during this arc? Not enough, but it’s been kind of nice when you string them all together.  

Anyway - this episode, as you’ve probably heard me say before, works pretty well.  Santana as a publicity is brilliant (and perhaps the best aspect of Chris’s writing), Sam and Mercedes relationship issues are handled rather maturely, Chris as Peter Pan is incredibly inspired, and the music is pretty solid (even if it’s not my personal favorite).  There’s even a sweet Klaine scene (though - I still maintain it was wise not to have Chris write too much Blaine).  The only thing that really doesn’t work to for me, and maybe we’re far enough away that I can say this honestly without feeling like there will be too much repercussion - I don’t think June Squibb is very good.  I mean, yeah - part of it is the awkwardness of the story itself.  But - Maggie just doesn’t work for me.  Sorry :(  

///

The Untitled Rachel Berry Project

I know a lot of people say that this episode feels like a finale for them.  And I kind of get that, I do. But, honestly, it feels more like a chapter break.  This episode is incredibly bittersweet - as if it knows (and it does) what’s coming in season 6.  But, also, it’s the ending of a show I kind of wish we had much longer, and I guess it feels a little sad to get to the end.  

The episode itself is solid - there are only really three plot lines here, and they all work pretty well.  The music might be the weakest element (I only like about half the songs in this one) but it’s got comedy and drama and warmth and sadness, and does make for a great season finale.  (It’s the best season finale the show did -- really, it is.)  And I guess - everyone ends up where they’re supposed to end up, and it works for me.  

I don’t really have a lot to say about it, or at least anything new to say.  It’s good, it’s solid, and while I’m super tired of watching TV all day, it’s a great ending to a really good chunk of TV.  

///

Final Thoughts: 

I am a little saddened that we didn’t get those two episodes that were taken from the season.  I feel like another couple of beats in the story lines would have worked wonders, and of course, selfishly, we’d have a little more of my favorite part of the story. 

Interestingly, though, I don’t know if this makes any sense - but I got the feeling the writers were always more comfortable writing stuff back at McKinley.  Like - they did this because they had the time, but they wouldn’t have been able to sustain an entire season writing it.  I know we could all come up with great stories, but I think it’s better that they were wrapping things up at this point, because the show feels like it’s headed towards an ending. 

I thought I’d get more insight about things watching them all in one sitting - but I’m not sure I did.  I think the show almost works better as a week to week so you can sit with each episode.  I think when strung together the arcs don’t seem as fluid as we have them in our heads now that we’ve spent years talking about each episode individually.  

Weirdly - the music of this arc is really hit and miss for me.  It’s interesting, to me, that a lot of times when the story is stronger, the music isn’t always as good.  A lot of other times, it’s vice versa.  The really, really good episodes can balance the two.  

I feel bad for Kevin McHale - who really had nothing to do other than be a giant STD.  

That said - one of the most refreshing things about this arc was the lack of toxic masculinity crap, as well as some of the best writing for the women ever on the show. 

I enjoyed the little bit of Santana and Brittany that we got - this was, like, the prefect amount of them.  

One of the downsides of everyone being paired off is that we didn’t get to see interesting mixed-up pairs - one of the draw backs of the show having such little time in New York.  

One thing that stood out to me, and god I hope I don’t get too much hate for this, is that Mercedes and Sam don’t really work... at least at this point.  Seeing the entire arc all together, it’s very apparent that while I don’t doubt how much they care for each other, they’re definitely in two different places in their lives.  And while I applaud the maturity that the relationship was handled with, it’s clear that they’re not ready to be in a long term relationship (yet).  

Rachel! Was bearable for most of the arc.  Yeah - there are still a lot of special snowflake Rachel moments.  But Lea Michele can do comedy well, and they let her do that.  

I didn’t find anything wrong or unusual about Chris’s acting choices.  **shrug**

Kurt’s mildly unhappy through a lot of these episodes - but much of that is at Rachel.  And really at his own place in life.  And the one episode where he’s super sexually frustrated.  

The Klaine stuff is delicious - and of course, discussed many other places that you don’t really need me to rehash it.  

It’s also unfinished.  

They should have made Adam Lambert a regular. 

Alright - bring it Season 6.  

[spaceorphan18]

Finding Kurt Hummel: Prom-a-Saurus

Masterpost

3x19: Prom-a-Saurus

Hey, it’s the prom episode we always wanted -- dinosaur themed!  Oh wait, no we really didn’t.  This episode is frustrating on a lot of levels.  The fact that Brittany as a senior is basically ignored all season, only for this kind of thing to take place -- and dinosaur themed? Really?  Meanwhile, Rachel gets to be a special snowflake **rolls eyes**.  And we have about 50 couples in the background making out while our two queer couples still have to keep a good foot between them.  I don’t think this is a bad episode on its own, but man, especially at the time, I think as a fandom, we were about to lose our collective shit and it’s easy to see why. 

Prom Round 2

Will’s all excited that he’s having the glee club sing at prom again.  I know it’s been a while, but how about another round of Will ideas Kurt is less than impressed with.  Because this is literally his reaction to the news.  

Kurt: What that makes no sense. 

Kurt to Brittany after every thing she says regarding prom.  I’m with ya Kurt.  Nothing about this episode makes any sense.  

Oh, and Brittany bans hair gel.  Because she doesn’t like how Blaine looks.  How about stupidest plot line ever.  I’m sure, writers, you could think of a better way to free Darren’s hair.  But I digress.  At least Kurt’s a little WTF on Blaine’s behalf. 

Big Girls Don’t Cry

Rachel’s singing her woes on stage, and the Klaine boys come to join her.  It’s one of those rare times when the studio version is vastly different than the on screen version.  Kurt sing more on screen, but I hate to admit it, I think the studio version is better (the balance is better, and the sound is, overall, cleaner).  Anyway, the song is mostly about Rachel dealing with her shit, but Klaine get a nice moment to themselves in the full version of the song. 

Like the little school mate in the school yard We'll play jacks and uno cards I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine Yes, you can hold my hand if you want to 'Cause I want to hold yours too We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds

I mean -- how adorable is this.  We barely get anything post-Dance With Somebody, but I enjoy that while we don’t always get to see their connection, the production was always all over the Klaine-ness, whether was giving them lines in the songs, or props, or costumes.  It’s kind of textured into the show.  

Kurt, Blaine, and Rachel all have their reasons for lamenting about prom.  Rachel doesn’t want to see her boyfriend go with his ex-girlfriend.  Which -- ya know what Rachel, I feel ya on this one.  

Kurt doesn’t want to go because of the high chance he could be crowned Prom Queen again.  And I mean, it’s a nice moment of reflection here.  Yeah, he held his head high, and was amazing at dealing with it -- but as he says here, it was humiliating.  And he has no desire to relive that traumatic experience again. 

And Blaine doesn’t want to go because of the ban on hair gel.  And there are two points I’d like to pull out of this little moment.  

First, yes, while Blaine is validly insecure about his hair, Kurt’s giggling a little bit about it.  Because to him, it really doesn’t matter what Blaine looks like -- it’s Blaine, and he loves Blaine.  And it kind of reminds me of a moment we’re going to get later on -- when Blaine has his bubble machine and Kurt says to Artie that ‘Blaine just has to have his bubbles’.  Idk how to describe it, but it’s one of those old married moments.  

The other is the commentary I’ve seen on Blaine’s line about them never seeing him without hair gel.  And while I do think this line is more so directed at Rachel, I do think it’s possible that Kurt’s never really seen Blaine without hair gel at this point.  Sex will make them sweaty, but the hair gel most definitely won’t be gone (and I actually don’t think they’re having as much sex as fanfic leads us to believe).  And I’m guessing that since it is such a sensitive matter to Blaine, he makes it a point to not show Kurt what he looks like with out the gel.  So yeah, Kurt’s definitely see Blaine naked -- but Blaine’s still controlling what that image is presented to be.  Interesting, huh.  

Anyway -- more on the point to this scene -- I’d like to point out that it’s Kurt’s idea not to go to prom.  I like that’s thrown out there as an option -- cause really, prom is not a thing everyone needs to experience -- and usually, it is overrated. 

Kurt’s face as Rachel explains the whole anti-prom idea.  Lol. 

And when Santana shuts them down. 

So -- there’s a whole lot of complicated stuff going on in this scene, because there should be an opportunity for people to not go to some over-hyped party, but Santana has a point when she shuts down Rachel saying it’s a pity play, at the same time, Rachel is going through a hard time, at the same time Santana’s later going to eat her words when she crowns Rachel prom queen, and it’s such a mess that I’m glad I don’t really need to spend time untangling it. 

Mostly, Kurt and Blaine have legitimate reasons not to go -- and I don’t think they should be forced to do anything they aren’t comfortable with.  But it is one of those awkward things -- do you go be with your friends because friends, or do you skip and just hang out with each other.  Kurt and Blaine don’t really explore the issue at hand, but I just wanted to point out that it was there.  

The Anti-Prom

I think there’s a better BTS still of this floating around somewhere.  

I have so many questions.  What exactly was their grand plan with this whole anti-prom? I mean, it’s obvious by their cluelessness that there wasn’t a plan.  But a hotel room? What did they think was going to happen, lol. 

Can we talk about Kurt’s outfit for a second?  It’s a stark difference from the previous year, which makes sense that Kurt would go the other way.  It’s also a much more relaxed and open look -- which is a little different for Kurt.  I mean, he’s in a safe place, so to speak, but I also think it’s part of Kurt being more relaxed with himself, too.  Also, I kind of love it.  

So -- the anti-prom starts off on a shaky foot.  Becky’s all about strip poker and giant orgies apparently, but Kurt’s quick to shut that down.  I find it funny how he reminds her that he and Blaine are gay -- as if this conversation had happened before.  Meanwhile, Rachel wants to do a fashion show, and Puck wants to watch porn.  Blaine looks like he’s bored already.  Kurt entertaining himself at first -- and man does he love that bed, cause all he does is bounce on it the whole time.  

So -- the anti-prom gets pretty boring really quickly.  And Kurt seems to be regretting, a little, that they didn’t go to prom.  I kind of love that he leaves to Blaine’s decision.  He might be feeling okay to go, but like last year, he’s not going to go without Blaine feeling comfortable to go. 

Oh right -- Blaine does specifically say to Kurt that he’s never shown Kurt what he looks like without a ton of hair gel.  Well -- I stand by all my original points above.  And I love Kurt’s little smirk.  He doesn’t really care.  He’ll take Blaine however he is.  And this is just one of those smaller moments that I just love between the two of them.  Cause they like each other and love each other. 

So Finn comes along and says they should all come to prom -- which they decided is more fun than doing nothing in a hotel room.  I have to wonder -- I’m assuming the hotel room is paid for that night.  Who gets it after prom is over? ;) 

I’m guessing based on the comments in season 4′s I Do -- that Kurt and Blaine definitely did not return home that night, lol. 

Real Prom

I’m kind of rolling my eyes at their entrance, standing literally in the shadow of Finchel.  So yeah, because Wemma kinda goes on the backburner, Finchel became the A-couple of season 3, and Klaine the B-couple.  Unfortunately, that meant that Klaine was tied in it’s parallels -- which will continue through season 4, but also not get as much as meat as Finchel does.  On the plus side, I think Klaine still works better for not being the focus, too. 

Anyway -- Blaine’s gotta wash out the hair gel, and Kurt’s being a supportive boyfriend.  

And then Kurt goes to dance with Mercedes during What Makes You Beautiful -- a song I really adore, even if it’s a One Direction song. 

It’s not that bad, Kurt, lol.  I don’t even think it’s that shocking -- but it is kinda funny.   

Kurt: I love finally getting to see the real you.  The man without the product.  And I want everyone here to know how proud I am of my brave, handsome, bushy-haired boyfriend.  

I think this quote speaks for itself, and is an understated, small yet romantic moment between the two of them.  And, I think someone’s getting most definitely laid after prom. 

God, sometimes Glee, I’d really like to bop you on the head with that scepter.  Obviously, what was done to Kurt last year was a mean prank.  Why relive that with making him crown next year’s winner?  Oh because the writers seem to get off on the idea of Kurt crowning Rachel prom queen.  **grumbles**  At least Kurt is not at all enthused during this.  

I like that there’s a moment where Kurt thinks he might actually have had another write in.  Poor bb. 

We’re not going to talk about Rachel being prom queen.  I have so many issues, it’ll fill up a whole other post.  

We do get a couple of shots with the two of them dancing -- and being flirty and having fun.  It’s kinda there.  And I do like Klaine in this episode, and there’s actually a lot of it! But yeah -- there is an imbalance that is very obvious when you watch the episode as a whole.  Finchel get to slobber all over each other during the whole episode.  Wemma and Tike get to kiss.  There are, literally, fifty or so hetero couples draped all over each other, and many of them are full on making out.  I didn’t need a Klaine kiss in this episode, but I didn’t need to see a bunch of close ups of people making out that I didn’t care about either.  And yeah -- Brittana is treated the same as Klaine -- lots of distance.  I understand the frustrating at the end of this season guys, I do.  

At least these two goobers are adorable. And at least we can deduce that these two probably did have a ton of sex afterwards ;)