#can you imagine if ashton's parents lived. the DRAMA

[chaosgenasi]

having hishari thoughts. inchresting that 1) the lyth-priest's -- possibly ashton’s dad’s -- helmet, (once again could be a coincidence, but i keep thinking about "lith" being derived from "lithos," which means stone), is designed so that the leather "curls up like a living flame" 2) this passage:

[Thordak's] presence not only incinerated his enemies — it wounded the land itself. After the Cinder King’s defeat, the Tal’Dorei Council beseeched the Fire Ashari to travel from the distant lands of Issylra to Emon and lend their wisdom. The frightful Scar of the Cinder King and Thordak’s Crater, both twisted by the red dragon’s cancerous, fiery magic, were healed by the druids of the Fire Ashari over the course of about fifteen years, an act that the brightest minds of the Arcana Pansophical thought would take an epoch to achieve… Nevertheless, the Fire Ashari left behind a group of four druids, led by a female half-orc named Lorkathar. They dwell in a small stone fortress known as Flamereach Outpost — a defensive fortification used when the scar was still spawning beings of flame and hatred. They vehemently warn all who enter to avoid using elemental magic of any sort — especially fire magic — as these evocations could cause the still tender division between the Material Plane and the Elemental Plane of Fire to resonate and tear.

3) so far, the only artifacts we have from hishari are pieces of ceremonial, leather armor that appeared slightly worn, but cleaned. leather doesn't really burn.

[thegeekyartist]

for the choose violence ask meme 😘: 9, 10, 16, 17, 18, 19, 22. if this is too many, feel free to pick and choose 💌

OOH okay!!!! I, of course, will answer every single one of these, I have Opinions and am always waiting for any opportunity to share lmao. (These are all for wwdits, and also I am on desktop so please imagine my usual unhealthy amounts of emojis for emphasis/joking cadence, thank u)

9.worst part of canon

The lack of consistency/follow through with pretty basic plot points. For example, Laszlo literally says "God" in the pilot, but then also flinches when Guillermo crosses his fingers in the same episode? Nandor can turn into vapor but can't escape the cage in Animal Control? (we can assume that one is because they're all Big Dumb). Colin Robinson has parents - that are still living??? And of course the glossing over of the year abroad. (but that's my television-wide gripe. I HATE time skips, no matter the show. They're lazy and tell me that you didn't actually know what to do with your plot). I could go on, there are lots.

I will accept the girl wives/guy wives change. That was pure Nandor and I loved it.

10. worst part of fanon

Listen. I love the drama. I LOVE the angst. This is a *comedy show*. We are never going to get the huge, dramatic, heart-wrenching love confession and hour-long sex scene that some fans are actually expecting. Like it can *absoluely* have serious moments, but please lower your expectations. This show averages like 4 shit jokes per episode.

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

Forgive me everyone, but Jackie Daytona. Hilarious episode, I love Laszlo so fucking much and Mark Hamill as a vampire is everything I didn't know I needed. But I really do. not. need. another. episode. It was perfect as is. Let it lie.

(also Laszlo has some WAY better lines/arcs outside of his one episode where he was essentially someone else)

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

Ooh, for fic... I love when people play with the characters/situations from canon a bit. Not necessarily a full AU, but taking some element and asking "what if this happened instead"? I love that.

And there are absolutely no personal biases here, absolutely none, but I would love to see more traditional media fanart. Gimme some paintings, some linocut prints, watercolors, anything! I love to see it.

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

I'm combining these two, since they're kind of similar. I feel like there's SO MUCH that everyone appreciates, it's hard to come up with something that people have fully ignored.

But I think one of my FAVORITE parts of the show is when they combine actual artwork with images of the characters. My whole life is art history, so I geek out a bit every. Single. Time. I LOVE the attention to detail, and every time I go to an art museum (which is fairly often) I can't help but wonder where the characters could fit in.

It ALSO makes me OBSESS over what contemporary artist would paint vampire Guillermo. I've definitely already made a post about this, but my current bid is for Alejandro Pasquale.

(EDIT: Another artist I think would be great is Ben Ashton. His visuals with the classical style would be so interesting to see hanging next to the actual old artwork in the mansion)

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

I'm not ashamed about it, but since I somehow still see hate over a year later, I want to voice my support for s4. The lighting? GORGEOUS. The costumes/practical effects? STUNNING. College-me that thought I was going to be a theatre set designer could write BOOKS on the changes they made to the house, let alone the club and night market.

Yes, the time skip pissed me off. Yes, there's the entire Marwa/Freddie can of worms. But literally everything else was incredible and the characters had SO MUCH growth. They are so much closer to the family we've been desperate for them to be since s1 because of s4.

[tabloidtoc]

OK, May 10

You can buy a brand new copy of this issue without the mailing label for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Inside Kim Kardashian's Wild New Single Life

Page 1: Big Pic -- Jenna Dewan enjoyed a stroll around her L.A. neighborhood with 13-month-old son Callum, whom she shares with fiance Steve Kazee, in a stroller

Page 2: Contents

Page 3: Contents

Page 4: The world watched as Prince Harry came face-to-face with the royal family for the first time in over a year to say farewell to his late grandfather Prince Philip, and now that he's back home in Montecito, California, with pregnant wife Meghan Markle and their 23-month old son Archie, Harry's been reflecting on the emotional reunion and preparing for what lies ahead in the coming months -- although the trip inevitably had its share of awkward moments, he's generally happy with how it went, and things had been especially frosty between Harry and The Firm following his televised tell-all, but the main thing is they broke the ice, and he's finally communicating properly with his family again -- in fact, Harry is said to have enjoyed low-key meetings with several relatives before heading back home to the States, including his grandmother Queen Elizabeth and cousin Princess Eugenie, although he did not have a one-on-one chat with his estranged father Prince Charles and it was more of a civilized catch-up than an intense sit-down because it wasn't an appropriate time to delve into recent tensions; however, Harry did take the opportunity to reassure everyone it wasn't his intention to upset them and that he loves them all very much and they, in turn, echoed their affection for him and they mutually agreed to keep moving forward positively and constructively and there's a still a lot of unfinished business, many are hopeful that all will be resolved when Harry returns to the U.K. for a memorial honoring his late mother Princess Diana on July 1 and this could be Harry's last chance to sit down with his family and properly repair things and Harry and Prince William have both agreed to meet before the event and have a frank discussion about how they can do their best to fix the damage that's been done and air their grievances in a calm and pragmatic manner

Page 6: Next spring, Johnny Depp and his ex Amber Heard will head back to court in the latest installment of their ongoing legal drama, but this time, Johnny, who filed a $50 million defamation lawsuit against Amber following a 2018 op-ed where she detailed her experience as an alleged abuse victim, is determined to clear his name one and for all -- Johnny and his team have new and explosive testimony from two of the responding officers, plus new body cam footage, that they believe will finally turn things around in their favor and they're convinced it will show that Amber made up claims about their alleged May 2016 brawl in an attempt to ruin him and the video shows a neat apartment with nothing out of place, nothing broken or anything to suggest a knockdown fight had just occurred -- Johnny's always maintained his innocence and now he's confident this evidence will prove it and Johnny's also working on a tell-all that he intends to release as soon as he's declared innocent and the tome will vividly detail what happened on that night in 2016 and throughout their year-long marriage and Johnny feels Amber never really loved him and his friends warned him not to marry her, but he didn't listen, and he's paid a dear price for it

Page 7: A fateful chapter from Ashton Kutcher's past could be coming back to haunt him as he's being urged to take part in the upcoming documentary on his late ex Brittany Murphy and it's stressing him out to no end and so far, he wants nothing to do with it -- the documentary is going to look for clues as to why it all ended like this for Brittany, and producers want Ashton to tell his side of the story and the thinking is he may have little choice but to participate because he had a front row seat to Brittany's life, and her fans want him to shed light on what really happened

* Alec Baldwin and wife Hilaria Baldwin knew that having six kids would be a challenge, but they're realizing it's even harder to find nannies who are up to the task of tending to their brood because Alec and Hilaria have some pretty high expectations for the kind of people they want to employ and what the job entails and it's been a logistical nightmare hiring and scheduling a rotating team of caretakers -- in addition to children Carmen, 7, Rafael, 5, Leonardo, 4, and Romeo, 2, the parents welcomed baby Eduardo in September and their sixth child, Lucia, via surrogate in March -- long hours and multitasking are a must given the meal prep, diaper changes and homeschooling, plus the nannies have to know how to deal with a cranky set of kids without losing their cool and Hilaria's every bit the mother hen, so she won't settle for anything less than perfection

* Harry Hamlin and Lisa Rinna have had it with the romance between their daughter Amelia Hamlin and Scott Disick -- Amelia recently raised eyebrows when she was spotted with bruised lips, which often occurs after lip filler injections, and Harry and Lisa drew a line in the sand and they're concerned that Scott is convincing her to mess with her appearance, especially since she's talking about boob and butt surgery to keep his eyes off other girls and ever since the couple hooked up last October, Harry and Lisa have been sitting back and hoping that Amelia would come to her senses, but it's clear she's in way too deep now, and that they need to make their feelings known, but the worry is that Amelia will be pregnant before she knows it, so Harry and Lisa are ready to take the bull by the horns before Scott ruins their daughter's life

Page 8: It's been nearly four years since Matt Lauer was fired from Today amid a sexual assault scandal, and he's still being snubbed by his old Hamptons crowd -- Matt, who retreated to his waterfront estate in the celeb enclave after a colleague accused him of assaulting her at the 2014 Olympics, has done everything he can to regain his place in the community, but he's remained persona non grata despite his best efforts; he'll turn up to fancy events and be super friendly with everyone but most people just turn their noses at him -- the disgraced ex-anchor, who hooked up with public relations exec Shamin Abas after his 2019 divorce, has been talking to friends about marrying her in a big Hamptons wedding, but it's hard to imagine there'd be much of a turnout and people have had ample time to put out the welcome mat, but it seems like they've shut their doors on Matt for good

* Former Playboy Bunny Kendra Wilkinson has gone from living the high life to pounding the pavement to earn a paycheck, and she's missing the glam old days -- Kendra, who enjoyed a pampered existence as Hugh Hefner's girlfriend and Girls Next Door star, has had to bring home the bacon in the wake of her 2018 divorce from Hank Baskett to help provide for their two children, Hank, 11, and Alijah, 6, and being a single mom is a lot harder than she thought it would be and she currently resides in a humble Calabasas rental and recently snagged a job as a realtor and was hired by Kyle Richards' husband Mauricio Umansky and she's working long hours and weekends, and she looks pretty burnt out and Kendra tries not to complain and is sucking it up as best she can, but she can't help but think about the times when she didn't have to worry about bills and rent and could sleep in as long as she wanted

* He was once Hollywood's biggest bon vivant, but Jack Nicholson has become a total hermit, and friends are concerned that he's harder to get a hold of than ever and Jack's shut himself away in his hilltop home on Mulholland Drive, and everyone is worried about his state of mind -- the actor, who was last seen in public looking disheveled at a January 2020 Lakers game, says he just wants to spend his retirement in peace and quiet, but his loved ones wish he'd make himself a little more accessible -- Jack's admitted that he yearns for one last romance, but how can that happen when he's hiding at home? Jack turned 84 in April, and it's as if he's resigned to spending the rest of his life alone and it's so sad, but it seems there's nothing anyone can do for him

Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- stars wow in sexy shoulder-baring dresses -- Ella Balinska, Renee Zellweger, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

Page 11: Adrienne Warren, Martha Hunt

Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Rainey Qualley vs. Celine Dion in Chanel, Melissa Wood-Tepperberg vs. Idina Menzel in Alice + Olivia

Page 13: Ellie Goulding vs. Charli XCX in Andreas Kronthaler for Vivienne Westwood

Page 14: News in Photos -- Gavin Rossdale took his beloved dog Chewy with him to tennis practice in the park in L.A.

Page 15: Jeff Goldblum stopped at celeb hotspot Craig's for dinner with wife Emilie Livingston and their kids Charlie and River in West Hollywood, newly single Real Housewives of Orange County star Braunwyn Windham-Burke hit the beach in Miami, Natasha Lyonne continued filming her series Russian Doll in NYC

Page 16: Amber Rose enjoyed lunch with her son Sebastian whom she shares with Wiz Khalifa in L.A.

Page 17: Anchor Robin Roberts filled viewers in on current events during Good Morning America in NYC, Kristen Taekman got all gussied up at her home in NYC, Howie Mandel showed up to the America's Got Talent set in surfing gear in Pasadena

Page 19: Bling Empire's Cherie Chan and fiance Jessey Lee grabbed a bite with their daughter Jadore, pro wrestler Ariane Andrew (a.k.a. Cameron) fueled up with a healthy sip

Page 20: Wells Adams stocked up on some essentials at the grocery store in L.A., Rachel Brosnahan protected herself with an umbrella while filming The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel in NYC

Page 21: Jon Hamm and his new rescue dog Splash get some fresh air in L.A., Whitney Port in a beige sweater dress and matching boots while recording her podcast in NYC

Page 22: Selling Sunset's Christine Quinn brightened things up in designer duds while walking her dogs in L.A., Monique Green attended the drive-in premiere of her new series Big Shot in L.A.

Page 23: Irina Shayk and her daughter Lea De Seine walked hand in hand around NYC, friendly exes Sara Gilbert and Linda Perry take a stroll in L.A., Law and Order: SVU stars Mariska Hargitay and Ice-T snapped a photo together in between takes

Page 26: Inside My Home -- Sam and Aaron Taylor-Johnson's designer digs

Page 28: Home Town stars Ben and Erin Napier recently announced they're getting ready to welcome their second child, a girl, and the famously private pair, who chose to keep the news a secret to avoid any extra unwanted attention or stress, could not be more excited -- this baby is a miracle because Erin was told years ago that pregnancy would be unlikely due to a past health issue and when their first daughter Helen arrived, they were overjoyed, and they never imagined they'd be blessed with a second -- with Erin's due date just around the corner, she and Ben are busy prepping Helen to become a big sis and they have no doubt she'll be wonderful because she's very warm and empathetic toward others and she loves to hug so the baby will be extremely loved -- after the newborn's arrival, the busy HGTV stars will take some much-needed time off and they're a team, and Ben plans to be there to support Erin and make sure she gets her needed rest, but they both love what they do, so it won't be long before they're back in front of the cameras -- while baby No. 3 chatter has already begun, the college sweethearts aren't getting ahead of themselves and Ben and Erin always dreamed of having a big family, and if they can, there will be more children, but if it doesn't happen, then they will be quite content as a foursome

Page 29: Kacey Musgraves is head over heels for her new boyfriend Gerald Onuoha, but friends are worried that she may be rushing the romance -- Kacey, who hooked up with the Nashville-based doctor after calling it quits on her three-year marriage to Ruston Kelly in July, tends to jump into things with her heart and this relationship falls into that category and Kacey, who was spotted snuggling up to her physician beau while out and about in L.A., is on cloud nine with this guy, but when she has to hit the road again it's not like he can pull up stakes and follow her -- she's not thinking straight about the future, and her friends are bracing for trouble once reality sinks in and Kacey would be wise to slow things down and not get ahead of herself

* George Clooney turned the big 6-0 on May 6, and his wife Amal Clooney is being a bit of a birthday buzzkill -- George wants a big, booze-soaked sky's-the-limit bash in an exotic locale like Mexico or Italy with his old drinking buddies like Rande Gerber, but Amal is pushing for a quiet family celebration at home with their children Alexander and Ella, and it's led to a few arguments -- George figures it's his chance to finally let off steam and that it's his choice on how to mark the milestone occasion and he wants Amal and the other wives to come and join in on the fun, but watching George get wasted certainly isn't her idea of a good time and she sees nothing wrong with a dinner at home

Page 30: Harrison Ford is finally set to start filming the new Indiana Jones movie this summer, and his wife Calista Flockhart will be keeping a close eye to make sure he stays safe on the set -- Harrison has been training hard to get in shape and is feeling great, but at his age, you can understand why Calista is concerned and protective Calista plans to accompany Harrison as he shoots the fifth Indiana Jones installment in London and other locales and he's still capable of doing his own stunts, and a lot of it is thanks to Calista, who made sure he stayed fit with weight training and proper nutrition, but Harrison's going to have the best people in the business looking out for him so he doesn't get hurt again, otherwise Calista wouldn't have given him the green light

* It's barely been three months since Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker went public with their hot and heavy romance, and they're already talking about getting engaged and pregnant, not necessarily in that order and Kourtney fully believes this isn't just a honeymoon phase, but that Travis is the man she's going to share her dreams with -- as for Travis, he's been telling everyone he's hit the jackpot with Kourtney and Travis, who has two kids of his own, has already started shopping for rings and he's planning an ultra-romantic proposal because he's big on grand gestures and he's still looking for the perfect ring, but that doesn't mean the baby-making has to wait until it's on her finger

* Love Bites -- Zac Efron and Vanessa Valladares split, Brooks Laich and CrossFit athlete Katrin Davidsdottir dating, Tan France and husband Rob are having a baby this summer

Page 32: Cover Story -- Kim Kardashian single and loving it -- ready to mingle, an unattached Kim is having fun exploring her dating options -- she did all she could with Kanye West and now she needs to steer a new course for herself -- she's been relishing her single status and feels like she can finally breathe again -- Kim may be living it up, but her four children remain her primary focus -- the eligible bachelors who've caught Kim's eye: Drake, Rege-Jean Page, Brad Pitt, Lewis Hamilton

Page 35: Jennifer Aniston's on such good terms with her old flames she still talks to ex-husbands Brad Pitt and Justin Theroux regularly and has even stayed in touch with her former beau John Mayer -- Jen and Brad have a lot of complicated history, but she's glad they reconnected and are friends again and she thinks the world of Brad, and they support each other -- Justin recently revealed he and Jen text and FaceTime, and the divorced duo will always share a special bond -- although she and John split in 2009, Jen and the musician still hang out from time to time and they flirt here and there and when John's in town, Jen's down to meet him -- but friends are urging the star to finally and firmly move on from her exes and they think she needs a fresh start, and Jen's been on a few dates with someone who isn't famous and Jen's not looking to get married again, but she'd like to have a partner to share her life with and this guy could be the one, she's just got to give the relationship a fair chance, without any distractions

* Weeks after announcing she'd called it quits with Alex Rodriguez, Jennifer Lopez is feeling sad and disappointed and she didn't want to believe the rumors about Alex's wandering eye, but the Madison LeCroy thing was the last straw -- it's not the first time Jennifer's been fooled by a bad boy as cheating rumors plagued her romances with Sean "Diddy" Combs and Casper Smart and she's wiser now -- Jennifer's saving grace is she's got a jam-packed schedule so it won't leave too much time to be broken-hearted and she's a busy mom of two with a million projects up in the air so don't expect her to be dwelling on the past for too long

Page 36: Young and In Love -- Why wait? These stars were in their early 20s, or teens, when they tied the knot -- Olivia Wilde married an Italian prince when she was 19, Hailey Baldwin married Justin Bieber when she was 21

Page 37: Demi Moore married rocker Freddy Moore at 17, Uma Thurman married Gary Oldman when she was 20, Cher married Sonny Bono at 18, Macaulay Culkin married actress Rachel Miner when he was 18

Page 38: Jessica Simpson married Nick Lachey at age 22, Kate Hudson married rocker Chris Robinson when she was 21, Drew Barrymore married when she was 19 for only 19 days

Page 39: Janet Jackson married R&B singer James DeBarge when she was 18, Kim Kardashian eloped with a music producer when she was 19, Solange Knowles married and a baby at 18, LeAnn Rimes married a backup dancer at 19

Page 40: Interview -- Anya Taylor-Joy thrilled to pieces -- The Queen's Gambit star is still processing her phenomenal success

Page 42: Role Models -- like mother, like daughter -- these stars are inspiring their kids to stay healthy and fit -- Brooke Burke, Gisele Bundchen

Page 43: Cindy Crawford and Kaia Gerber, Christie Brinkley and Sailor Brinkley-Cook, Goldie Hawn and Kate Hudson, Jessica Alba

Page 46: Style Week -- Saweetie has a new sunglasses collaboration with Quay

Page 48: What's Hot Right Now -- stand out with a statement piece from the 8 Other Reasons x Draya Michele capsule collection

Page 49: Make Me Blush -- follow spring 2021's hottest beauty trend and create a flush with a pop of peach, pastel pink or terracotta -- Mindy Kaling

Page 50: Mother's Day Gift Guide -- Molly Sims

Page 54: Entertainment

Page 55: Reality Check -- your small screen guilty pleasures are back and here are all the details -- Bar Rescue, The Real Housewives of New York City, Teen Mom 2, Million Dollar Listing New York

Page 58: Buzz -- The ACM Awards in Nashville -- Carrie Underwood and CeCe Winans, Keith Urban and fellow emcee Mickey Guyton, Kenny Chesney and Kelsea Ballerini

Page 59: Blake Shelton, Chris Young and Kane Brown, Miranda Lambert and Elle King, Jimmie Allen and Brad Paisley, Maren Morris and husband Ryan Hurd

Page 60: Sound Bites -- Jessica Alba on not being afraid to complain, Justin Theroux on dating, Jodie Turner-Smith on her and Joshua Jackson being perfect partners, Rob McElhenney on expectations of men in Hollywood

Page 61: Chrissy Teigen on her break from Twitter, Courteney Cox showing off her extremely organized kitchen on Instagram, Lance Bass on the basic thing in his past he'd like to move on from, Amanda Seyfried on confiding to the Mank costume designer about her pregnancy, John Stamos on getting together with wife Caitlin, Eiza Gonzalez on developing body confidence

Page 62: Horoscope -- Taurus Henry Cavill turned 38 on May 5

Page 64: By the Numbers -- Rege-Jean Page

[coppicefics]

Masked Omens: Prologue

Read the fic here!

[Image Description: Image 1 - A simple rendition of the Masked Singer UK logo, a golden mask with colourful fragments flying off of it. The mask has a golden halo and a golden devil tail protruding from either side. Below, gold text reads 'Masked Omens'.

Image 2 - A scrapbook with two newspaper cuttings pasted in. Each has a date handwritten by it; the first reads ‘Tadfield Gazette, 24th July 2009′. The second reads ‘Toffley Courier, 10th August, 2009′. Full text transcription below cut. End ID.]

Tadfield Gazette, 24th July 2009

HIDDEN GEM: O’LEARY’S LATEST STUNS CRITICS Masterful casting highlights themes of innocence and fear against a background of domestic drama. [”What do you care, David? Maybe I’d rather he dream of monsters than wake alone, like me.” ~ Jane Winsome, Act 2, Scene 3] RUMOURS OF Colleen O’Leary’s retirement have been greatly exaggerated. While it’s true that in recent years her name has been conspicuously absent from the glossy playbills and bright posters of the West End, the Dublin-born playwright still has plenty to say. Her latest offering, Hidden, is on the surface a simple domestic drama about an upper middle class family with a young son. It follows their trials and tribulations through a single fraught year as ten year old Matthew (played by the talented young team of Warlock Dowling, Gert Johnson and Adam Young in rotation) questions his relationship with his parents, his nightmares, and ultimately the world around him. Anita Lovett is both adoring and adorable in her role as Matthew's mother Jane, while Oscar Williams fulfils the role of a baffled, slightly distant father as David Winsome. The cast is rounded out by Anthony Crowley, making a return to acting in the role of Ashton Storeth, Matthew's babysitter. What might have been a fairly pedestrian premise – a child becomes unsettled as his parents fail to find time for him – is elevated to new and sinister levels by Crowley's double role as both minder and monster; Matthew is plagued by nightmares of a dark creature that dwells beneath his bed, a creature that seems to have a lot in common with the mysterious Storeth. As Matthew's nightmares increase in both frequency and severity, strange events unfolding in the household lead the audience to question just how much of what they're seeing on stage is real. The script seems to demand introspection of its audience; how much can we ever really know about the world we live in or the people we invite into our homes, even trusting them with our most precious treasures, our children? And yet, ultimately, Storeth and the Nightmare have more meaningful interactions with young Matthew than either of his parents. It's a thought-provoking piece with an ending that must be seen and not spoiled. All in all, a triumphant return to the stage for both O'Leary and Crowley, who seem to have come determined to prove themselves and done so admirably. Hidden is now booking until September 30th this year; for venue information and to book tickets, visit www.hiddenuktour.com.

Lots Donated To Charity Fundraiser WITH PREPARATIONS well underway for the Anna and Eve Foundation’s upcoming auction, it seems there are still more celebrities prepared to offer up their most prized possessions for a good cause. The latest announcement of items going under the hammer includes: The upright piano played in the drawing room scene in The Grasswater Affair, kindly donated by Celestireel A flaming sword used in the original magic act of The Amazing Mr Fell, as seen on last year's Royal Variety Performance, with personal instruction in its use from the magician himself A signed drumskin and drumsticks used by Queen drummer, Roger Taylor A Nike Total 90 Omni football signed by every member of this year’s league-topping Tadfield FC squad The stunning faux-diamond necklace worn by Angela Crowley in the 2003 film More than a Memory, contributed by Pace Productions (newspaper cuts off here)

An advert for the Four Horse Inn is also cut off at the bottom of the cutting.

Toffley Courier, 10th August 2009

Toffley Gate Protests Planned [Uriel Scrolle, Reporter] When Lawrence Richmond was elected as MP for Toffley South, it was partly on the strength of his campaign promise to invest in building affordable housing for local people. Sure enough, within a year of his election, his flagship development had been completed. Having opened its doors in 2006, Toffley Gate is a towering edifice of concrete and glass, boasting over 300 individual homes, most of which are luxury apartments – but many of them still stand empty. Now local housing campaigners are calling for lower rents to be imposed on these unoccupied units in a bid to open them up to local people who cannot afford the current rates. (Continued below.) [Image: A large, modern block of flats in yellowed black-and-white newsprint. End ID.] [Caption] The Toffley Gate development, pictured shortly after completion. Local housing activists say the affordable housing they were promised has never been provided. Photo: Daniel Brubaker on Unsplash. [End caption.]

Local Theatre Reports Record Sales for O'Leary's 'Hidden' Masterpiece: Former 'Kilcridhe' star steals show with moving performance [Citron Deux-Cheval, Arts Critic] Greater Deville’s Inferion Theatre has long struggled to fill seats as the rise of commuting in the town has left residents with far les [sic] time and money to spend on the town’s recreational offerings. It relies, therefore, on the continued patronage of those who are able to attend regularly, and on the rare piece of theatre that causes its audiences to insist friends and family go along and watch, too. This week, it reported its highest ticket sales for a single show in over ten years for the Saturday night showing of Hidden, a new play from veteran playwright Colleen O’Leary. Naturally, I had to go along and see what all the fuss was about, and I was glad I did. Hidden is a deep, dark exploration of the psyche masquarading [sic] as a simple drama about two unhappily married parents and their neglected child. While the story of David and Jane Winsome (Oscar Williams and Anita Lovett respectively) and their strained marriage is compelling, with painful betrayals and soft, poignant moments aplenty, it’s their son Matthew who steals the show, along with his au pair, Ashton Storeth, played to perfection by Anthony Crowley (once a familiar face on our television screens as heart-throb Father Jacob MacCleod in Kilcridhe). On the night I attended, Matthew Winsome was portrayed by eleven year-old Gert Johnson, one of three children who take turns in the role. For such a young boy to take on such a complex role is a very tall order, but Johnson more than rose to the challenge, demonstrating a thorough understanding of the mix of fear and adoration with which Matthew regards Ashton. In scenes with his mother and father, Matthew is quiet and respectful, almost withdrwan - but opposite Crowley, who plays the double roles of Ashton and The Nightmare, he becomes expressive and unspoken, loud in his anger, his fear and, yes, his love. Crowley, too, gives an incredible double-edged performance as warm, gentle Ashton and the silent, sinister presence that lurks beneath his charge’s bed - perhaps drawing on his own inner demons to lend authenticity to the role. Hidden is a play that leaves much open to interpretation: whether The Nightmare is real or imagined, what, if anything, it has to do with Ashton, and what the surprising ending means for the family. It’s a play to get you thinking, and I highly recommend you go along. Hidden is playing at the Infernion until August 15th. Contact the Box Office on 01632 496055 to book.

[haidenschreave]

The Final Confession

A/N: Sorry it’s taken so long, everyone! Finals have been killing me, but I finally got this out. It’s a long one, so sit tight. Thank you for being on this journey with me, and feel free to send me any questions or concerns you have afterwards. Also, don’t forget to sign up for Alex’s Selection! (More under the cut)

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Everything will be all right.

It’s a sweet voice, one that’s very familiar. It’s the voice that rocked me to sleep as a child, the slight accented lilt that I love so much. It’s soft, beckoning; I want to go to it. More than anything.

But then, just like that, it’s gone.

I think and rack my brain for any memory of that voice, of my mother’s face, her soft touch. I want it back. I want it back so badly. I just want to see her one more time.

Times like these are always the hardest—when it’s morning and I can’t seem to find the will to get out of bed. It’s all so monotonous. I sit up, I stand, I put one foot in front of another. Sometimes it’s comforting to know that my life takes only three steps to start. Other times it feels like those three steps feel like a marathon.

It’s one of those days. I lie in bed, the sun already shining in my eye. It hurts. I hurt. It’s not a physical pain, but one that I can just… feel. It creeps up my body and infects everywhere until I’m completely numb.

I hear her voice again.

Get up. Do it again. It’s firmer, darker this time. Not quite mean, just strict. It’s comforting her. I’ve heard that tone many times throughout my lessons and sporting activities. Every time she does it, I want to bite back and say no. I want to curl up into a ball and shut down. But there’s that voice in the back of my mind that says, Get the fuck up. It’s not my mother’s.

It’s mine.

I curl my fingers into my sheets and pull myself up.

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I walk down the hallway, counting my steps. It passes the time much better than I expected, but it’s not as easy to avoid people. I’m desperate for a distraction, but I’d rather it not come in a human form, particularly a female human form that’s supposed to be my future wife.

It’s probably not good to be avoiding my soon-to-be fiancée, but I can’t help it. I need to be alone sometimes, and that happens to be a lot. I don’t understand how I’m going to get through married life.

Hell, it’s hard to even imagine married life. I can’t even make myself think about my engagement. My stomach clenches every time it crosses my mind. It’s a different kind of pain, one you get from that little voice telling you you’re not worth it. The thing about that is that you have to ignore it, no matter how right it is.

Just keep walking, I tell myself, ignoring the voice. Just put one foot in front of the other.

As I do so, I feel a small bump against my shoulder and look up to see a slightly familiar face. “Oh, Prince Haiden,” Samantha Sinclair looks up at me, her eyes wide. “I'm sorry, I didn't see you there, my mind’s been elsewhere. You seem distraught, I know it’s a stupid question given the circumstances, but are you alright?”

I want to laugh at the words. Am I alright? Of course not, but I’m not telling her that, considering I don’t know her at all. I leave it to a simple, “Oh, no, my bad. Samantha, right?”

“Uh, yeah, Samantha. I believe we met briefly during the thing with the past selected. Your father asked me and my mothers to stay for some reason. He's been so occupied with... other things though so I haven’t really had the chance to speak with him.”

That does strike me as strange. My father likely wouldn’t ask a past Selected that is rightfully known as a drama queen to stay longer for no good reason. I can only imagine the amount of gossip that’s circulating around right about now.  “Hm, weird, but not uncommon.” Such a lie. “He tends to get caught up in things.” Not a lie. “How are you enjoying the palace?”

She smiles, her wild eyes darting around the hall. “It's nice. I miss my home a little my family and I live by the ocean, so it’s always very quiet, and not that many people visit so all of the people here are a bit confusing. But considering I've been here awhile, I’m starting to get used to it. Anywho. The big choice is coming up right, not to sound like a rabid reporter, but how are feeling about it?”

I’ve been asked this question again and again and again by everyone from reporters to my best friend. I’m certain they’re more excited about it than I am. I let out a fake laugh. “Uh, would sick be an okay way to describe it?” That’s the only feeling I have.

She laughs. “Totally. I think I'd hate it if I had to make a decision so soon. Takes me 4 hours to decide between one food or another.”

I shrug, looking off into space. “I just… wish I had more time.”

“Well, who says you have to pick so soon? This thing doesn’t have to end until you feel certain it should, right?” She’s right. Absolutely right. But I can’t bring myself to have this go on any longer.

“It doesn't have to, but with everything happening. I just think it's best to end it while we're ahead. Even if it means I'm unsure.” Even if I don’t love them.

“Okay, then why not try to be more sure. What helps me with tough choices is to first flip a coin. Pick heads or tails for my choices, then whichever I get it shows what I really want. If I get tails but I really want heads, then I'll pick heads. It’s a way of letting fate pick for you without ending up with a choice you dislike.”

“I… guess you’re right.” I’d heard rumors of Samantha Sinclair’s idiocy, but I don’t get where they came from. She is smart, just in a way most people don’t understand. Kinda like Eloise. “How old are you, Samantha?”

“I'm twenty years old, why? And I think I've got a coin in some pocket.” She feels her dress for a moment before sighing. “Hmm, well, I forgot dresses don’t have pockets. Well, I have some coins in my room, some from other countries, I like to collect them. Anyways, we can use one of those, come with me.” She pulls on my arm and I immediately follow.

“Um, all right,” I mumble. Not necessarily how I wanted to spend my day, but there can be worse company. At least I don’t have to be afraid of offending her.

Her hand is still on my arm, coaxing me to follow.  “You sure don't talk too much. My mother said King Ashton's the same way.” I want to laugh. If only she knew. “I can't seem to shut my mouth though, I find silences to be awkward and depressing.” She shrugs. “Should we let a new asia coin decide things, an illean coin, or a german federation coin. I have those three here with me since they were in my purse when I came.”

“I guess Illéan.” Might as well use the coin of my country to pick my wife. “And I know I don't talk much. I think silences are... comforting.”

“Really? I always think the other just dislikes me or is judging me when they’re quiet.” She laughs a bit, but it’s not one of humor. “There's plenty of me to be judgmental about.”

I know that voice. Not her actual voice, but the one inside her head. It’s one I feel every second of every day. That horrible, self-deprecating voice that just ruins you from the inside it. I know deep down it will never go away no matter what anyone says, but I just have to try.

“Nah, I couldn’t believe that.” I want to say more, do more, but I don’t know her or what she feels. I could ruin her self-confidence just as easily.

“Trust me. Both of my parents are amazing. My mother so smart, and my other is like super athlete and politician. But the most I can do is flip a coin.”

No, no, no, no.

“I’m sure that’s not true.” Her casual façade is cracking, and I can easily see the hurt inside her eyes.

“It very much is. I still haven’t even picked a job so I'm living with them. My mom would probably be glad to take care of me till the day of her death, though my other mother wants me to make something of my life. I've never even really been able to consider anything because my skillset is worse than that of a fish. I'm sure you're used to being compared to your parents, though you unlike me actually have some skill.” She gives a casual little laugh, as if trying to brush off the subject.

“Oh, please, you might just be a late bloomer,” I say. “I'm sure you have at least a few things you're good at.”

“Yeah you're right I do have a few: coin flipping, talking, and walking. Golly-jee already up to three.” Another fake laugh. “Anyways, my room is here, you can come in if you want, I have a chair in the corner you can sit in while I get the coin.”

I follow her inside the room and sit where she directed me to. As I do, she reaches into her nightstand drawer and pulls out a coin. “Righty, the remaining girls are mila anddd nnnnnaomi right. I think, I’m not the best with names.”

I smile lightly. “You’re right.”

“Great. Heads will be Mila, and tails will be Naomi. And you do not have to tell me which one wins this, however I will technically know who wins the flip. But remember go with your gut. If you feel upset with the results your guts telling you that you like the other girl more.”

I let out a breath. So this is it, huh? This is how I pick? “Okay, got it.”

She flips the coin and catches it. “Alrightyyyy.” She tells me the name and I nod. Good, good, it’s okay. This is fine.

“There did that help at all?”

I nod, but I quickly stop and furrow my eyebrows. “Wait, how did you know it was Mila or Naomi?” I hadn’t mentioned that Sophie was already gone. Not for real, but in my list of options. We’d talked about it. It was hard, but I didn’t want to lead her on any more than I already have.

“Oh, well, I said earlier heads is Mila, tails is Naomi.”

“I know, but there are three girls left.” I smirk. “Or is that just women's intuition?”

“Huh. Ahhh I completely forgot about the third. But considering you didn’t correct me sooner I’m guessing she isn’t the top one on your mind. Or yesh women’s intuition let’s add that to my skill list.”

I roll my eyes playfully. “You got me. And come on, surely you have more? Can you hold alcohol well?” I should probably be concerned that’s the first thing that comes to my mind, but it’s a skill.

“Hah well, my mother never let me drink so I’m not too sure about that.”

“Seriously? What kind of mother do you have?” A reasonable one, probably.

“Hah, one who believes alcohol only leads to bad choices. Your father told me she used to be a party animal though.” I’d heard of Gracebella Sinclair’s wild side from a few older ladies that apparently were her maids. Samantha laughs. “Can you hold yours?”

“Let's just say I have two parents with extremely high tolerances.” I don’t mention my mother could drink my father under the table.

“Ah, so that’s a yes. I assume I do not, once I snuck a glass of champagne at someone’s wedding and was already tipsy from just one.” Ah, so she’s a lightweight.

I shrug. “Technically I'm supposed to be getting sober, but there's no fun in that.”

“Well why not just try to minimize the amount that your drink till eventually you barely drink rather than just going like cold turkey.”

A decent suggestion, but problematic considering the type of person I am. “Because I have no self-control.”

She giggles. “Ah such a wonderful trait for an heir. How about you take a rubber band and like hit yourself with it when you drink to associate pain with it.”

“Well, I'm a masochist so that wouldn't help.” A little known fact about me. Physical pain never bothered me. In fact, it was kinda nice. It’s the constant numbing pain in my mind that’s the problem.

She snickers. “Welp, there goes half my plans. Wouldn’t want the little prince to be enjoying himself too much.”

“What about you? Do you take pleasure in pain or something else entirely?” I don’t realize the implication until after I’ve said it. I force myself not to blush.

“Ah well, little prince, I think that's a conversation I'd enjoy, but in very different circumstances,” Samantha replies with a quick wink. “Anyways. Prince Haiden Schreave, the masochist. Would you like to see some of my coins? I have a very rare one from New Asia.”

“I would absolutely love to see your coins.”

She opens her nightstand drawer again and pulls out her coins. “I got one of the guards to bring them from my house with some other personal things, I enjoy counting them before bed and organizing them. The ones on my left are from New Asia. As you can see I even have some from when China and Japan were still around.”

I hadn’t seen coins this old since I was little, and that was obviously a very long time ago. “A very strange hobby, I'll admit, but interesting.”

“A lot of these coins I could sell for a ton of money too, thus if I keep them for even longer I can be rich.”

“Patience is key, I guess? I wouldn't be very good at coin collecting.”

“Get them when you’re drunk and hide them from yourself so they age. Though if you have a high alcohol tolerance that might be hard.”

“No, it'd just be more fun. Try mixing vodka, whiskey, and rum sometime. It's great.”

“What are those? You can mix drinks?” I want to laugh. There’s such an innocence about her, but it’s not annoying.

“It’s okay. You’re too young.”

I laugh, shaking my head. “You know, I may not know how to cook, but I can make a mean martini.” My parents really should not have let me drink.

Samantha giggles. “Prove it.”

“I don’t want your mothers to murder me.” Yanely Genovious is 5’9” without heels, a gymnast, apparently also an excellent kickboxer and Gracebella Sinclair is just plain terrifying.

“They don’t have to know. Plus one of them is fine with it.”

“Let me guess which one,” I say, a hint of a smile on my lips. It’s nice to forget the world for a bit, even if it’s with a girl I’m not even supposed to be with. Honestly, I’m probably in a very inappropriate situation and if the press found us it’d be a disaster. But I’ll let myself have my moment of peace and… happiness.

She sits on her bed and snorts. “You hardly know them I doubt you could.”

“Well, one dresses all professional and gives the mom look. The other one I've seen talking up Hux with a bottle of vodka, so I think I very much could.”

“Ah true. Yan-yan isn’t very clean on anything.”

“What exactly does your mom do?”

“Well, she’s primarily a politician. I think my other mother lets her take a lot of the wins so they don't fight being they share the same occupation and community. But she's very busy do to that. I think they're supposed to be like a bad cop good cop due but the only one I really get to see is bad cop.”

Yikes.

“Was she the Yanely Genovious that helped my father pass that women's and sexual health act?” I don’t even know why I have to ask. I was only three years old when it was passed, but I’d learned about it during my schooling. It had all seemed very strange at the time, but I never really thought about it again.

“Probably. She was very into womens sex rights. My other mother helped with rape laws for awhile and they kept this very sexually graphic poster they made toge—nevermind don't wanna scar you.”

“They... sound very happy. So they met together... in my father's Selection?” I already know this, but it still strikes me as really strange. I mean, two girls who go after the same guy somehow fall in love with each other? It sounds like something out of a weird novel.

Samantha, shrugs. “I suppose. They don’t talk much about your fathers selection so I don’t know a lot about how they came to meet and loved each other. It makes my 'bad cop' mother depressed to talk about it. I don’t know why. At first I thought maybe she really did love your father and she just wasn’t over him. But Yanely told me it was something like they have a secret and she hates keeping secrets and it reminds her of it. Very vague. But due to that I don’t ask much about it.”

“It seems like a painful time. I'd... hate to have my heart broken. It's just nice to hear that even through all the trials and tribulations, they're still together.”

She laughs, but it’s not genuine. “Maybe. I think it'd be simple to say she’s just upset by a broken heart and being reminded of it. I personally think there’s more to it, and both of them know about it. I actually lied to my mother to get her to let me come. I acted like a fangirl of your father because I knew then she’d let me see him. And I can add onto my skills from earlier that I can tell when someone is lying or hiding something. But he didn’t seem to be. So maybe mom just told me that there was something more so I wouldn’t bother mother anymore. But my gut still says otherwise.”

“You should listen to your own advice, Samantha.” I grab her coin and toss it up in the air, catching it in my hand.

“Ah, well I would. But I’m afraid my choices aren’t very clear. They’re less of what I want, and more of what’s the truth. I can't use a coin and my feelings to determine the truth. It’s something i need to look for and find. I think your father wants me to find it. That’s why he asked me to stay. My mother doesn’t like me being here so she doesn’t want me to figure it out. I heard them fighting in a hallway earlier. I couldn’t make out what they were saying. I dont think ive ever heard my mother speak so coldly to another. I’m surprised your father didn’t force her to leave. He easily could have.” She takes the coin back and starts to fiddle with it.

I let out a fake chuckle. “My father may be a lot of things, but he's definitely not boring.”

“Ah, and forcing her to leave would have been the boring option? I’d think it would have made a scene. Or are you saying the whole ordeal of the argument of truth which I suspect is present is not boring?”

“Both.”

She sighs. “Do you have any idea what they could be hiding?”

“Do you really want to know?”

She gives me a side-eye. “You say that like it’s a truly awful thing. If it were so bad that I wouldn’t want to know I’m sure that your father would agree with my mother. So yes, I want to know.” I’m taken back by the sudden snap. She always seems so collected and giddy, almost like a child.

“Fair enough,” I mumble.

She looks over at me. “So do you know?”

I’ve heard rumors. A lot, actually. There are a lot of maids who still talk about what happened in my father’s Selection. It was a large event, one of the biggest ever in fact. I hear people still talking how particularly awful this one girl is or the influx of condoms that were used. It was no secret that my father slept with a few girls, but I had always assumed they were just once or twice. I keep thinking about it and…

“No,” I say.

“You made it sound like you did. Oh well. Well, to talk your mind off of things do you wanna help me figure it out?”

“Can we? It seems like you're stumped.”

Samantha smiles, genuinely this time, the childish spunk coming back. “Well, I had an idea earlier. But I was worried I'd get in trouble. I was thinking about watching all of the old videos on your fathers selection. Since it seems everyone who knows knew from then. There might be clues in that. But I didn’t want them to record that I had gotten them from the archives then that’d get to my mother. But if you do it it'll look like you’re just getting help on your selection.”

I laugh lightly, shaking my head. “Who said you're not smart like your mom?”

“IQ tests. Anyway, the sooner the better, right?”

We leave, and I count my steps.

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That’s how many tapes we watch. Each one consists of three reports and a couple interviews from the girls and my father. It’s strange seeing him bright-eyed and fresh, but I try not to think about it too much. I see nothing I didn’t already know about, but that doesn’t stop the hurt in my chest when we come across an interview from my mother.

I immediately stop it.

Samantha sighs, leaning against the armrest of her seat. “Well, apparently my clean mom was a skank, and my good cop mom was a depressing drunkass, and your dad was a playboy and your mom was socially awkward.”

I ignore the comment about my mother. She’s not lying though. Must be where I get it. “Did that help anything besides realizing our parents are ridiculous trashbags?”

“Mmm not much. But hey maybe it’ll make you feel better since apparently your mom was not a favourite then, but people loved her.”

I avert my eyes and look at my feet. That name, God. It still hurts. “Yeah.”

Samantha laughs awkwardly. “Ah, I'm sorry. That was meant to make you feel better.” She pauses for a moment. “I bet my mom cheated on ashton.”

“With your other mom?” I ask, a little confused.

“No, a man. Think about it. I know I’m not adopted but she tells me to say  am because my age doesn’t match up. And if I don’t, I lie about my birthday because I was… conceived...towards the end of her stay at the palace. Which means she had to be sleeping with another man. That would explain a lot. Why she never even lets me try to find my father. Since it would destroy her life if the public found out.”

Now that catches me by surprise. But I know it shouldn’t at this point. “You know that makes a lot of sense, but I don't know if it would ruin her. It's not like my dad would press charges or anything.”

“He might not. But there are plenty of people who hate my family because of the progressions of my mothers in law. They would harass us.”

“I guess that's a concern.” I stare at her for a moment. The rumors I hear flash through my head again.

“Remember that Gracebella Sinclair?”

“Oh, the one who slept with the prince?”

“Yes! Remember that time I saw him leaving her room?”

“God, yes. The girls had a fit about it. You know, sometimes I wonder if that child of hers—Samantha, I think—is secretly his. That couldn’t be, though.”

But could it?

“Samantha…” I trail off.

She doesn’t hear me. “Well, I guess I’m satisfied now. That was easier than I expected. And I've attempted to help you with your issue via coins so it looks like problems worked out.”

“Samantha,” I say again, a bit louder.

She looks at me. “Yep, that’s my name.”

“When were you conceived again?” It’s a weird question to ask, but… I need to make sure.

“Towards the end of your fathers selection. Which would be why it was cheating.”

I’m silent for a moment, fiddling with my own armrest. I don’t want to keep thinking about this. It’s painful to think that maybe… No, I have to ask. Maybe I’m just being paranoid, but I-I have to. “Well, what if it wasn't cheating?” I ask, my voice low.

She laughs. “It was. My mother might not be the best, but she wouldn’t keep something like that a secret.”

I hesitate for a moment before saying, “But would she?”

Samantha snaps her head around to look at me. There’s an angry glint in her eyes. “She wouldn’t. There’s no reason for her to anyways. She wouldn’t do something like that so drop it Haiden.”

I hold my hands up in surrender. “Okay, I’m sorry.”

She sighs. “I'm going to tell her I know she cheated and ask to meet him. She always told me he was an asshole golfer from Clermont. But obviously he wouldn’t be at the palace. So she lied, probably to distance him from her and make cheating seem impossible. She'll tell me now that I know at least a little bit of it. I’m sorry for being stern about that, I just think that’d be a horrible thing to do. Especially to you. I can’t imagine her doing that and you suggesting it just makes me feel sick.”

“I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset yo—” I cut myself off when the door flies and none other than Yanely Genovious appears with a bottle a vodka in one hand and a bottle of rum in another.

“Sammy! There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you!” she shouts, a little too loudly for my taste.

“Haiden and I were just watching some old videos from your selection,” Samantha says. “Actually I wanted to talk to you about that.”

“Oh, sure, honey!” She sits on a chair and giggles. “So what were you doing with little Hai Hai here?” Ugh, that nickname.

“Well, I was looking into that secret that you mentioned mother and King Ashton having. She cheated on him during the selection, right? Which is how I came to be.”

She laughs loudly. “Oh, that? Pfft, it's so funny, let me tell you. It starts out with your mom being a skank.” Samantha smirks a little. “She had sex with this one's—” She points to me “—father within like a week.”

“Ah right,” Samantha mumbles. “I heard there were rumors of that. But I’m assuming she stopped upon realizing she liked someone else. Then before she left because she knew she was going to be eliminated she had sex with him.”

I sit back and listen to Yanely’s explanation. It’s… very bizarre, but it didn’t seem like anything too scandalous. At least until I hear on particular comment: “Aw, sweetie, you're... too young. Wait, what were kids you doing again? We don't need an incest rumors.”

“Incest?” Samantha and I say at the same time.

Yanely giggles a bit. “Of course, silly. He's your brother, isn't he?” She gasps before giggling again. “Whoops I don't think I was supposed to say that.”

My head is running in circles. Did I hear that right? Did she just say—?

Samantha doesn’t seem convinced either. “Uh, no he’s not. I mean look at us. I’m white.” She really isn’t that smart, is she?

“Well, so is your—I mean, Haiden's dad.”

And just when I think things can’t get any worse, Gracebella Sinclair walks in the room. “Hi sweetie, I was just looking for this old drunk hag. Hope she wasn’t bothering you and your new…” Her eyes land on me, and she glares. “Friend.”

Samantha rolls her eyes and glances at Yanely. “Mother, mom is being crazy and drunk and babbling worthless stuff. You should take her to a room to sleep.”

Yanely grabs onto her partner and starts whining. “But Graceyyy I'm not lying! I accidentally told her Haiden's her brother and she won't believe me!”

Gracebella laughs loudly. “Why in the world would you even say that? There’s no way anyone in their right mind would believe that or even think it for a moment.”

Am I in my right mind? Why… why do I believe her?

Samantha turns to me. “I'm sorry for my mom, she gets a little wild and starts making things up after too much to drink. Just ignore her, she'll be gone in a bit.”

Gracebella looks at me. “Right. Plus Haiden. You could ask your father, I'm sure he'd never do anything wrong ever like lie to you.” There’s a hint of bitterness in her voice. It’s at this moment, I know I’m right. “Come on yan-ham,” Gracebella says, turning to her wife.

I shake my head and quickly grab Samantha’s arm before she leaves. “Samantha, wait.”

“Yes, Haiden. Oh, do you still have my coin? Since my collection wouldn’t be complete without it?”

I dig in my pocket until I feel the cool metal against my fingertips. “Trust your gut remember, not matter what the coin says.” I press it into her hand.

Samantha stares at me for the longest moment. And when I look into her eyes, I know. I know it’s true. She lets out a single sigh before flipping the coin, then immediately throwing at Gracebella Sinclair. “Why, why did you lie to me? Give me a good reason. Haiden deserves one too. You decided for him he would be the heir, and you decided for me I would be nobody. You never even let me have a friend till I was 16. Do you even know how hard that was for me? And all so you could hide me and keep me like your toy. I am not your possession and I want to know why you made this happen!”

Gracebella stares at her, jaw slacken, speechless. Finally, she lets out a defeated sigh and turns to me. “I just didn’t want her to grow up like you, okay? It seemed better to not think of you as a person and to let someone else take the fate and the life you have instead of Samantha.” She turns back to her daughter. “I just wanted to protect you.”

Samantha growls. “Bullshit, I bet you just wanted to protect your 'legacy' or whatever of free choice. You were really against the monarchy when I was born, right? People actually listened to your ideas and having a kid related to the king sure as hell wasn’t going to help your career. You couldn’t give a rat’s ass about me.”

I want to hear more. I want her to yell at her and blame her for everything. But I can’t. I hate that feeling. And even though I’m upset at Gracebella and my father for keeping this a secret, I can’t help but feel like this is going too far. As much as this is a mistake, Gracebella genuinely does care for her daughter.

I set a hand on her shoulder. “Samantha…”

She turns to me. “How can you be okay with this? Haven’t you ever wanted to not be the heir? To not have to worry about the things you do? It’s great because now you have someone to blame. It’s her fault.”

“Samantha, I know you're upset. You have every right to be. But maybe we should talk about this. With everyone.” I want to talk to my father. I want a reason, and I want the truth. For once, I don’t need a bullshit excuse about why he’s busy. For once, I just need the truth.

“Everyone. Who else would there be to talk with, let alone talk about? The damage is done, she chose to act the way she did and I think she needs to stop acting like a child for once and accept the fact that she made a mistake. And just because she dresses and talks like an adult doesn’t mean she is one.”

I sigh. “Maybe you should get some air. Calm down, you know?” The last thing we need are two angry Sinclairs fighting it out in the movie theater.

“I am perfectly calm.”

“I don’t think you are.”

Samantha lets out a sigh and glances at her mother. “Fine. I’d rather be anywhere than with her.”

She follows me, tears silently streaming down her face.

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“Hey, uh, Dad, could I talk to you?” He hadn’t noticed me before then, his eyes focused intently on the paper he held in his hand, but he looks up at me now as I stand awkwardly in the doorway of his office.

He’s tired. I can tell by the way he slouches the slightest bit. I almost don’t want to have this conversation, but I can’t hold back any longer. I’m… I’m running out of time.

I don’t know how to start this conversation. I haven’t known how to start it for ten years, but there’s not point in holding back. I’m 20 years old. I am a man. I am an adult. I can talk to my own father for once in my life. But when I look at him now, all I see is Samantha. “I-I know things have been tense since Mom, uh... I just, well, w-we never really had the best relationship.” Stupid stupid stupid. You can’t even make a proper sentence.

My dad sighs and pulls out a chair, gesturing for me to sit down. I do so and keep my eyes trained on the floor. “I know. And I'm sorry,” he says, his voice quieter than usual.

“It's not your fault,” I say quickly then stop myself. “Well, maybe it is partly, but that doesn't matter right now. What matters is that, well, you know the last challenge has passed and... I guess it's time.”

There’s a hint of a smile on his lips. “It’s surreal, isn’t it?”

Surreal. Well. “You could call it that.”

He sets down his pen and faces me fully now. “How long have you known?”

How do I tell him? “Who's winning? “For a while, I think. It's just coming to terms with it was hard.”

He furrows his eyebrows. “Because the other girls matter so much, or because you weren't ready?”

“Both.”

“And now?”

And now? I don’t even know. I don’t even know who I am. I don’t... “I still don’t know if I’m ready.”

“But?”

I want to laugh. “No buts. I'm still really terrified. I just... want to be terrified with someone else now.”

Dad smiles lightly and traces the ring on his left hand. It hurts my chest. “It doesn't stop being terrifying, I'll tell you that. Every day with your mother was like jumping off a cliff, even all these years later. Everything is scary. The job, the choices, everything.” He pauses, as if to collect himself. “Did you know that I cried the day you were born?”

I stop and look up at him, hopefully not looking as startled as I feel. “No.”

“I was standing there, holding your mom's hand and then there you were. They let me hold you first and I looked down at you and just started crying.”

My throat tightens against my will.

My father sets his hand on mine. “It was the happiest day of my life, Haiden.”

“Can’t imagine why,” I mumble, though I’m not sure why. It’s my automatic response at this point.

He squeezes my hand. It makes me wonder how long it’s been since I’ve touched him. “I know I have not always been the best father to you. There is so much more I could have done. But I do love you and want the best for you, and I will until the day I die.”

I force myself not to cry. I hate crying in front of anyone, especially him. “There... was a time when I wondered if you were even my father, but I knew that despite our differences, you know, I'm just like you in so many ways. It's not completely your fault. I could've tried harder.” I look away from him. “And, besides, it doesn't really matter anymore.”

“It will always matter, Haiden. I'll always be here for you, whenever you need me.”

“I know you will,” I mumble.

I stand up to leave, but I’m stopped halfway to the door by my father’s voice. “Do you truly love her?”

I look back at him, my hands clasped behind my back. “I like to think I do.”

A lie.

1

2

3

1

2

3

That’s how many lies I’ve told today.

The first, telling Samantha I was all right.

The second, telling my father I love my fiancée.

The third, the reason for the alcohol that I currently hold in my hands.

It burns my throat, but the pain is welcome. As I drink, it’s as if the thoughts that have been plaguing my mind slowly drift away and are replaced with something equally as worse.

I’m not drunk, far from it, and I curse my father one more time.

One more time.

One more chance.

I have the rings. It’s her exact size, cut in a way any future princess would like. I’d been wanting to give it to her for so long. She’d been perfect. Perfect in almost every way. But… there’d been something holding me back.

Something.

I think I’ve figured it out now. All this time, I’ve been wondering what was wrong with me, wondering why I couldn’t seem to want any of this, even when I became friends with the girls. It’s crushing almost, knowing that no matter how hard they try, you can’t seem to want them.

This whole time, I’ve been praying that something changes. I’ve been… trying so hard to be okay with this, but there’s just that feeling that this isn’t right and it never will be.

I take another drink and squeeze my hand close, the metal of the rings cold against my hand. These are supposed to go on the woman I marry, but what if…

Samantha said to follow my gut. It was during the coin flip that I realized neither of the girls on that coin were for me.

Another drink, the metal still stinging against my hand. I stand in front of my bathroom  mirror with everything above my waist bare. My face is numb, but I can still see myself. I can see everything.

I can see the pain behind my eyes. I can see the tears and scratches and bruises I’ve been hiding for so long. None of them are physical, but all of them hurt. All of them hurt so much.

I think back to what Aileen said yesterday. “Who cares what the rest of the country thinks? Just do what you think is right." I’m not sure if this is what she meant, but it still rings true. I have to do what I think is right, and maybe that’s not what the people want, but why does it matter? Why does it matter what they want?

I look down at the rings again and grip the sink. I remember again. These are supposed to go to the woman I marry, but what if they go to no one at all?

I look up at myself one more time, a silent proposal in my eyes.

The rings clank against the sink and fall into the drain.

No.

3

2

1

[fantasysuiteleague]

Week 2 Recap: The Three Ds

Is it just me or does it always seems like The Bachelorette gets a shitty draw of contestants? Each year there are at most 3 guys I would take home to meet my parents, maybe one worth actually marrying, and the rest are all that terrible guy you see on TV and hope you never meet in real life. They only care about themselves and what makes them look good or what will get them the most screen time. This season, with its new colors and Blachelorette, is no different. At most we’ve added an extra amount of swagger, but with that swagger comes an added level of douchebaggery that leaves a bad taste in your mouth. 

D is for Doggo

This episode highlighted 3 of the worst people we’ve met since Chad, and one precious angel who is too pure to be around any of this mess. That’s right, I’m talking about Copper. That precious baby with the broken toe who stole Bachelor Nation’s heart. Not only did he get his own limo entrance, but he also went on the first and best 1-on-1 date of the season, accompanying Rachel and Peter to a DOG PARTY. I can’t say I paid much attention to Rachel and Peter, as I was focused solely on Copper and all the ways I could pet him and be his best friend.

The only thing I took away from the 1-on-1 date was that Peter and Rachel bonded over the gap in their teeth, and that Rachel doesn’t seem to mind that Peter is dead in the eyes. Something’s off about him, but it looks like he’ll stick around for awhile so I’ll come back to him when the meat isn’t as fresh.

D is for Douchebags

The first group date of the season is very on-brand for the Bachelorette: a low key picnic with ... an obstacle course and celebrity sighting. The picnic is set up in what I assume to be a vacant lot three spaces down from the Bachelor mansion, where everyone takes turns grilling and playing touch football. Right off the bat it’s hard not to focus on the douche of the century, Whaboom. Everything he does is for attention. He pushes other guys around so he can be the “first” to say hi to Rachel, he obnoxiously dances around the football, shouts constantly, and even picks Rachel up at one point and spins her around like a Disney Princess. It’s not hard to see that Lucas is, in the words of Blake: garbage. The other guys question his personality traits and whether he’s here for the right reasons simply because he is TERRIBLE.  He’s not even trying to fight with anyone, he’s just being himself, which is absolute garbage. Fun fact: My friend was in the same frat as Whaboom at Berkley and said that he is, hands down, the absolute worst person he has ever met in his life—next to his twin brother.  That’s right, there are two of these assholes. 

He also told me that Lucas was constantly trying to be the center of attention and was always making loud obnoxious jokes or trying to steal the stage but NO ONE thought he was funny. Some quick sleuthing on the interwebs brought me to his IMDB page, which honestly says it all. I mean, a 2012 Spanish dating show? God what a fucking loser. But his “rival” Blake is no better, and we need to unpack both of these shitty bags of garbage to really get down to their trash core. In a voice-over, Blake mentions that he knows Whaboom and is the only person that can “ruin this” for him. Well first of all, Whaboom doesn’t need anyone’s help ruining anything. Second, Blake knows the true garbage nature of Whaboom because they were both on a trashy reality TV dating show hosted by Carmen Electra. Yep, that’s right. Garbage, meet Garbage. Oh, you already met on the Ex-Isle? Perfect. Let’s skip the pleasantries, and the entire obstacle course while we’re at it. That way we can also skip over Blake whining the entire time that Lucas is cheating and not following directions, and Lucas winning then attempting to get Ashton Kutcher to yell “whaboom.” To literally everyone’s relief, Ashton politely passes on the offer, as he should have with My Boss’s Daughter / Just Married / Killers / basically all movies he’s ever done.

No really, name a good Ashton Kutcher movie. You can’t, because there are none. Anyway, since Whaboom won the competition he got the first 1-on-1 time with Rachel. Blake takes this opportunity to let everyone know that, to the extent they hadn’t figured it out yet, Whaboom is a douchebag. Blake, it is the first fucking week. Chill the fuck out man. When Lucas gets back to the perfectly stirred pot, he’s confronted with the question of our generation: how do you identify yourself? The correct answer, of course, was garbage, but we would have also accepted trash. Speaking of trash, Blake continues his crusade against Whaboom by informing Rachel that, to the extent she is both blind and deaf, Lucas is just a clown here for TV exposure. Like any guy NOT trying to get TV exposure, Blake then goes and tells Lucas that he just spent his time with Rachel letting her know that Whaboom is wearing makeup and is here for the wrong reasons. 

At this point it’s pretty clear that Blake is also here for the wrong reasons and obsessed with Lucas, who may or may not be totally wasted. It’s hard to tell, because he’s just that terrible. In the end, Whaboom walks away the winner of this confrontation after he tells Blake he’s going to do “him” and that Blake is “dismissed.” Point, Garbage. I can’t really tell you what else happened on this date due to the overpowering stench of Garbage, but everyone else was so boring that the 20-year-old Ricky Fowler look alike, Dean, got the group date rose. Good for you, Dean.

D is for Drama

The second group date the guys get a considerably better draw with a game of pick up basketball monitored by Kareem Abdul Jabar. DeMario is the focus of this date, which I wanted to attribute to his charisma fuckboi charm and casual ability to dunk a basketball. But something doesn’t feel right about this spotlight and even though deep down I know why, I think and hope that maybe, just maybe, it’s not him. It’s like when you’re watching a Law & Order SVU episode and it’s definitely the dad, but it feels way too obvious to actually be the dad, so instead you convince yourself its the neighbor but like, it was always the dad.  It was always DeMario. Always. You don’t get this kind of attention in a group date when there are previews of a scorned lover confronting her man unless it’s your scorned lover. Enter Lexi, the girl who DeMario was allegedly fucking days before he went on ATFR and met Rachel. Before she even opened her mouth I could tell from her eyebrows that this girl was trash and was ready to shamelessly take down the Big D. The build up to this drama is great. After being summoned by Rachel, DeMario is convinced he’s getting the rose and walks gleefully back into the gym talking about what he learned playing the game until he saw cash me ousside girl waiting for him.

DeMario’s face quickly goes from happy to freaked out to “confused.” He immediately launches into fuckboi defensive mode and makes a series of moves that only digs him deeper into the pit of despair.

Move 1: Pretend like you have no idea who this girl is and that you’ve never seen her before. Obviously this is NOT the right way to go, but you have to give him partial credit if only because I would also deny knowing (let alone fucking) someone that trashy. This obviously doesn’t work as she’s tracked him down, so it’s on to the next move.

Move 2: This girl is fucking crazy, and we met “many many times ago.” Um, what? Thankfully Rachel is smarter than to buy into the “she’s crazy” excuse that’s constantly applied to women by the patriarchy. Instead, she asks for clarification on what “many times ago” means, and at this point the Big D starts to sweat.

Move 3: Claim that this is personal stuff that we should handle off-camera. This was an obvious misstep that sent Lexi into a rage about unanswered text messages and fucking her 2 days before he went on ATFR. Rachel keeps it classy, however, pointing out that this is also her personal life so DeMario really needs to explain himself.

Move 4: Admit he dated her, but claim that he broke up with her because she was “too much” to handle, circling back to the old “she’s crazy” thesis. DeMario tries to suggest that he broke up with Lexi face to face, but then Lexi starts shouting about how he still has her keys... 

Move 5: Keys? What keys? I don’t  have your keys..... Oh, wait. I actually mailed them back to you. As if this mother fucker has ever been to the post office. At this point DeMario has to know that he’s totally fucked and should probably just leave before he says anything else. But he doesn’t. Instead, he continues trying to downplay what Lexi is saying until finally Rachel tells him he’s not making any sense and she just wants to know when was the last time he saw Lexi.

Check: Lexi stops swearing on her kittens’ lives long enough to offer up the receipts to prove not just her side of the story, but the exact date and time when Demario was last in and out of her...apartment. Before Rachel accepts any documents into evidence, she gives DeMario one last chance to say literally anything that isn’t a lie and asks if the dates on Lexi’s phone will match his story or hers....

Move 6: It depends on the dates...

Checkmate: Finally at the end of her rope, Rachel takes Lexi’s phone (which I imagine smells like cigarettes) and reads the standard fuckboi texts we all knew DeMario sent. Rachel calmly informs DeMario that she is not here to be played or to be made a joke of, so he can get the fuck out.

In the aftermath of the DeMario drama everyone starts whispering about how DeMario was obviously not there for the right reasons when, in reality, they are all there for the same reason: fame. DeMario was just sloppier about it. The remaining guys on the date all use this as an opportunity to let Rachel know they’re there “for her” and will “protect her” from this kind of behavior. Josiah flexes his protection muscles the most with his... creepy side eye stare and ends up getting the group date rose. We don’t get too far into the cocktail party before the ghost of DeMario comes knocking at the gates of The Bachelor mansion to prove once and for all that D is for determination dumbass.

Did you notice . . .

Ashton knew when he “first saw” Mila that they would get married ... after he married Demi Moore and played dad for a few years, of course.

“This is not a show. When I want to turn it on, I turn it off. When I want to turn it off, I turn it off.” - ummm that’s a show, Lucas.

Curious that Lucas and Blake hate each other so much yet look like pals in this picture from 2016....(also, the hastags...)

“I check my mailbox every day.” - Lexi, lol.

OF COURSE her name is Lexi with an I.

I could do without Alex’s singing, especially as it’s likely a trigger for the Russian Manchurian Candidate, Jared Kushner.

Minority Report: The most embarrassing part of the whole DeMario saga is that before the Bachelorette he was dating white trash like Lexi.

[swearronchanel]

Who let me watch 5.06?

I should be doing an assignment that’s due tomorrow but ya know due tomorrow means do tomorrow. Lol I know I should be ashamed to be a procrastinator but university has ruined me anyway. I’m tired from literally going to one lecture haha, but in any event I’ve been rewatching mad men for the who knows what time but I thought I’d take a break from all that and watch an episode of CtM & @flyingnonny inspired me to do a reaction post so why not? I decided on 5.06 since last Sunday’s episode reminded us of that camping trip 😂😂  here goes nothing.. 

*skips intro bc I’m impatient*

Cute community moment ☺️

TRIXIE😍 slaying my life

Shelagh looks so good too 😍 and Angela melting my heart!

Why is shelagh forever wearing cardigans? I like cardigans every now and then but all the time, really?

Everyone is sitting outside, Trixie is in a sleeveless dress, as is Barbara, so it has to be warm?? take it off Shelagh

She’s still my bby though even if I don’t always agree with her fashion choices

what gross vejo pinching Trixie’s ass? That’s not ok

And Babs too lmao, creepy old man, die

Shelagh saying “hello dear” aw

But this is like the only interaction between Shelagh and Trixie & that does not suffice !!

ALL I WANT IS FOR THEM TO HAVE AN ACTUAL FRIENDSHIP IDC HOW MANY TIMES IVE SAID IT I REALLY Want it😭😭💕💕 my two fav bbys

I HAVE EVEN GIVEN REASONS WHY & I CAN GIVE THEM AGAIN ***        1) Why not?? Shelagh has like no real friends besides her husband and sort of Sister Julienne?                                                 

 2) just please, because I’m asking nicely                                                     3) When Shelagh was Sister Bernadette she was often friendly/ in the gossip and conversation with the nurses & remember that one time Trixie grabbed her to come listen to Jenny’s phone conversation?               

4) Trixie was the only one besides Sister Julienne to visit her in the sanatorium. That has to count for something!                                             5) They’ve both been on the show since day 1 & have known each other the longest (besides the nuns) why wouldn’t they be friends or least actually speak to each other?

Aye this is the lady who’s fake pregnant

Shelagh wearing earrings though >> here for it

Sorry there will be a lot of gushing over Shelagh and Trixie

And also I WANT TRIXIE’S HOOP EARRINGS SO BAD, where can I find them??

And how do I get her clothes and figure and her everything lol?

PHYLLIS ! My champion

“Would it have killed you to sit down for five minutes and eat the whole thing!” I LOVE HER, SHE IS A GEM, A HERO, A BADASS & IM NOT READY FOR SUNDAY. IM GOING TO BAWL WITH AND FOR HER

she deserves the best

I think this is the only time I’ve ever heard Trixie address Shelagh by her first name?? a prob.

They need to interact more 😭💔💕😍 I will stop saying it when I’m dead even then I’ll prob say it

Actually when I think of it no one ever calls Shelagh by her first name besides obviously Patrick? And Sister Julienne

#MoreShelaghAndTheOtherNursesInteracting2k17aka1962

And I need at least two seconds of them dotting on pregnant Shelagh

Helen looks so good like goals

“I threatened to put one man over my knee but that only encouraged him” HA IM DEAD NO KINK SHAME

I think there’s been a similar joke before but fuck it it’s still funny to me

But seriously everyone loves Trixie lol how could you not though?

Hey Pats, it’s been a while

Lol omg Tim in that uniform.. Not the best costume 😂😂

Never seen Whistle Down the Wind

But you see, Tom and Babs making out as usual, I’m not knocking it lol but this is why Sister J told her to chill when they went to South Africa😂

also lowkey jealous bc Jack Ashton is handsome af and that could’ve been me but it’s all good. He and Helen are adorable together and I’m here for it x10000

Omg I forgot this lady got assaulted

Oh shit I just remembered this is the episode where sister MC is attacked FUCK WHY DID I WATCH THIS

she can’t report it bc she’d get arrested for soliciting wtf

But remember Shelagh wore the headbands in like series 3 (so glad she stopped I was not here for it)? They must’ve gave them to Babs lol

I forgot Trixie didn’t tell the nurses about AA yet

But she looks gorgeous as ever, even with her mascara running

Lowkey nauseas looking at all that fish ugh. Funny becuase they put a grocery store that has a fish market on the block up from where I live in NYC and I hate it  

I forgot about Peter lol and he was in an episode this series whoops

LIKE WHERE’S YOUR WIFE LOL, *I know, too busy for this, I don’t think she’d fit in the series anymore anyway*

Sister Mary Cynthia 😰❣️

Lol she doesn’t sing loud enough ??

Sister Julienne is so cute when she smiles but don’t forget she’s a badass

REMEMBER THE AGGRESSIVE JACKET FLAP BC OF THE IRRITATING SISTER URSULA

How did this girl hide her pregnancy though?

And did her brothers just not realize she was pregnant and the mother wasn’t?

Oh jeez my cousin was a colic-y baby and my parents kept him like 3 days a week when I was in high school & it was a nightmare. I didn’t sleep for so long

Dont get me wrong I love babies. But when they scream when I’m trying to sleep, nope. Return to sender.

Shelagh is so excited about camping it’s the purest and most adorable thing 😭😭And I like her shirt  

Shelagh made Tim copy the napkin folding from a magazine, SHE IS A GEM

“We never have serviettes on a weeknight” wtf did they just not use napkins every day? I’m confused Lmaoo. What am I missing here 😂omg that reminds me of one of the times my family and I went on a cruise (2006, hella long time ago already wow?? 11 yrs yikes) and my brother & cousin were late to dinner and lied to my mom & aunt saying they were at a “napkin folding class” & my family deadass believed it up until 2 years ago😂

Shelagh’s accent is so cute. I’ve said that many times but it’s so sweet. But again why do we just have to accept she’s Scottish with no context as to how/why she came to England? Like I’m sure there were convents in Scotland. I dont even care that much I just will forever be curious as to why it seems she had no life before she got married lol? Like they don’t ever bring up the fact she was a nun, but ok maybe she feels awkward talking about it but what about before? 

They’re so excited it’s so precious, protect this family 😂😭💕💕

Sister MJ is fasting lol I should try it😂

Omg another dumb story, I didn’t realize today is Ash Wednesday and was hella confused seeing some people with ash on their forehead 😂😂 I should give up something for lent but idk what, we shall see. My mom gave up carbs last year & I died bc I lived at home and ate what she cooked and almost all my fav foods are carbs😂

Shelagh referred to Patsy as Patsy, I’ve only ever heard her say Nurse Mount??

lol Tim you’re what 14? you know damn well those arent* bullet holes

at least he has some of his innocence still. I didn’t @ 14

Sometimes I forget I’m gonna be 19 this year wtf. I’ve accidentally told people I’m 16 before and had to correct myself 😂😂

Patrick is excited about this holiday, boy you don’t know what’s coming 😂

HE’S GONNA ATTACK THE LADY WITH A BABY I FORGOT THAT TOO WTF

I wanna fight him

Diane’s anemic ? Or her mum is just assuming

SHELAGH IN HER CAMPING OUTFIT!! The hair scarf and trousers !! I’m so here for it 😍😭

I want to see her in another pair!! yes lets get it 1962. Probably not likely this series but hopefully next series!! Ah can’t wait

Shit this series is almost over 💔💔 but omg 1963 gonna be lit as well?!

Like the space race started/orbiting the earth, Kennedy’s assassination .. wait never mind lol I’m thinking of American History moments. but still a lot of it was crazy world news so maybe it’s mentioned?? first bond film came out in'63, petition for Tim to go take Susan whatever from around the corner to see it since we know he liked the novels

Lots of famous films came out in ‘63 so there’s gotta be some reference.

Fun fact: I love pop culture references in period drama bc I’m lame jk I’m majoring in education (to teach history)

Old news but still relevant: Phyllis’s turn on: Rolodex systems 📇

“CRANE, as in the wading bird or industry lifting equipment, whichever you prefer” LOVE U PHYLLIS, YOU CORRECT HIM

PHYLLIS’S FACE WHEN GODFREY SUGGESTS SHE CAME OUT OF RETIREMENT, IM DEAD

“I shall consider retirement when I’m at the appropriate age”  IM LAUGHING SO HARD, FUCK YEA PHYLLIS. I LOVE HER SO MUCH, LINDA BASSET IS ON THE LIST WITH LAURA AND HELEN OF PEOPLE WHO COULD PUCH ME IN THE FACE AND I’D THANK

LOL SHELAGH JUST STANDING AWKWARDLY LISTENING TO THIS CONVERSATION

“Buenos vacaciones”  I NEED MORE PHYLLIS WORKING ON HER SPANISH I LOVE IT, Ella es oro.

lol the roof rack, bet it was Phyllis’s they borrowed when they moved

PHYLLIS’S FACE OF DISGUST WHEN DR GODFREY SMILES AT HER IS ME ALWAYS

LOL THE THE NURSES & SISTER WINIFRED DYING OVER PATRICK’S SHORTS (EVen though sister W “swears she’s not looking”)

I THINK THE SOCKS AND WHITE DAD SANDALS ARE MORE AMUSING 😂😂

Poor Judith💔

It’s a vicious attack Sister J! But you don’t know it yet so I get u

Here comes summer..😂

SETTING UP IN THE POURING RAIN LOL

Shelagh and Angela being adorable !!

Tim and Patrick proud that  they set the tents up & boom it falls 😂 which is symbolic for me taking exams, I think I did well or at least decent on them and then I find out I failed by like 5 points

Nonnatus table scenes <3 😭

”I’ve seen more dangerous marshmallow bunnies“ lmao Pats this is a serious moment I shouldn’t laugh

Shelagh took off her glasses 😉😏 but fr how is Laura Main so perfect

Patrick put scotch in its lit, pass it over😏

Lol Shelagh drinking is a strange thought but I’m so here for it. Nuns can’t drink right? Idk. Imagine her drinking alcohol for the first time and just getting drunk 😂 we know Patrick and Tim are lightweights getting drunk off one beer so I assume shelagh would too😂

Damn it Patrick, you spilled your cup. Furthermore proving you’re a disaster 😭

LMAO SHELAGH’s “WTF” FACE WHEN SHE ASKS PATRICK WHAT HE’S THINKING ABOUT AND HE SAID THE ULCER CLINIC

LIKE C'MON PATRICK YOU KNOW WHERE SHELAGH WAS TRYNA GO WITH THAT😂

“And if you don’t mind my saying so, you’re not exactly Cliff Richards yourself” SHELAGH 😂😂 another great line of hers, love it

I love their playful banter lol we need more of that 😂 but lets be real series 6 has had some of the greatest Shelagh and Patrick moments so I can’t complain 😭😍

Peter and Barbara is such a unusual dynamic haha

“How is chummy?” Wait does Babs even know Chummy? I don’t even remember if they met tbh

But for real Shelagh did you really think Patrick would just forget about work completely ??

Lol Angela crying because she is petrified of squirrels😂😂and Shelagh running to her is so cute.

Why didn’t she just get rid of the *creepy* squirrel nutkin book? it seemed like they still had it in series 6 haha

rice pudding is I think the same as aroz con leche, lol it’s gross sorry

Diane’s water broke oh shit

the Turners all in the tent playing I spy bc it’s raining haha

I went camping for the first and last time this past summer w/ my sister in laws & her friends, it was awful 😂😂 I got like 100 mosquito bites that became welts, i literally slept in the car the second night & it was mid July fairly south of east coast aka it was humid and sticky af , there were wild horses that walked around..Thank God they brought alcohol cause it was a nightmare I don’t wanna remember 😂😂

ANGELA IS SO CUTE UGH & ANOTHER GREAT SHELAGH FACE����

lol yes go to a hotel, should’ve done that from the get

So what exactly does Fred run? some civil defense thing?

She’s in labor and can’t even scream omg, I’m screaming

“They are often incorrect in their opinion” Sister MJ is a gem. I want someone to look at me the way Sister MJ looks at cake and the television

Phyllis yelling at Dr Godfrey😂

PATS’S FACE OF DISGUST IS ALSO ME

HOW DO THESE WOMEN GIVE BIRTH STANDING/SITTING UP?? AHHHH

There you are Beatrix, it’s been a while

Patsy being suspicious with the card game line lol. but when is Trixie going to find out about Patsy and Delia?

SHE RIPPED OUT HER WOMB?! WTF OMG IM SCREAMING

THIS HURTS TO WATCH AHH

Trixie and Sister MC to the rescue but omg this is wild I forgot

Fred wtf you can’t be sneaking up like that

DONT LEAVE SISTER MC ALONE TRIXIE

NOO, IM NOT PREPARED FOR THIS

“There are flowers on the table, and feathers in these pillows, that’s all the nature I need to get back to” I feel you Patrick lol, I like nature but not camping

Lol remember Shelagh’s old nightgown? ah I don’t miss it. The bri nylon is such a look™ & obviously has magically powers i.e this miraculous conception.

“..or they’ve been mulled to death by squirrels” IM DEAD HAHA THAT WAS A GOOD DAD JOKE, NICE ONE PATRICK

aw the baby is so precious

Why is the operating room/being in surgery called theatre in the U.K.?? and why is the doctor’s office/practice called the surgery? so many questions from a confused American..

Sister MC by the docks😭💔 she was just chillin with God and THIS HORRIBLE MAN RUINS EVERYTHING WTF UGH

Oh no

SISTER MC JUST UNCONSCIOUS ON THE DOCKS WTF IM CRYING WHY WOULD HURT HER

Patrick even if you were there she wouldn’t have called you, don’t blame urself

it’s not your arrogance sister MC!!

“don’t you even say the word fault, do you hear me, I won’t allow it” 😭💔 it’s NOT your fault sister MC 😰

I forgot how upset/hurt this episode makes me

“The worst thing is that I actually stopped to pray…” my heart hurts

You can’t even blame her for being angry😪

Judith you’re not a bad mother!! This isn’t your fault either

Sister MJ IN THE BATHROOM WITH HER😢😢💔💔 I’m c r y i n

I SAID PROTECT THEM AT ALL COSTS WHY DID THEY HURT ME LIKE THIS

Everyone so quiet at the table..

ILL FOREVER BE PROUD OF HOW BRAVE SISTER MC IS FOR SPEAKING UP FOR HER AND THE OTHER VICTIMS💖😭💔

Russian prison tats??

“I thought at first it was a test of faith, but it was a test of strength. I can bear more than I ever though I could and I can bear it for others because my strength is a gift, from him..” brb sobbing

I feel so bad for Mrs Hills bc I understand she thought she was doing the right thing and was trying to protect her daughter from the stigma & judgment from having a baby born outta wedlock 😭

But damn she almost killed her & now she can’t have any more kids

“I’m a mum, mum” Aw

lol I want children (obviously not anytime soon) but if I do Ima be shook for the rest of my life. Like my kids will  be like grown & I’ll still wake up like wtf I had them?  Lmaoo

SHELAGH’S GREY DRESS >>😍

Patrick jumping on the bed was cute lol

The Turners being cute and an unrealistically perfect family together as usual

Trixie 😍off to her AA💕

“I think it’s about time I came clean..”

Im so proud of her omg. She’s come so far in 6 series 😭💖💖😭

And Patsy and Delia are supportive yess👏🏼

“New truths were being spoken at Nonnatus house, but some remained concealed. While one voice rose, striving to erase its agony in song.”

Thanks Vanessa,, The End 😭

[ensmagonline]

7 things no one will tell you about becoming rich

What do you want to be when you grow up? I wanted to be an actor and a footballer. Simultaneously. Sadly, neither of my dreams was at all realistic, and predominantly because I wasn’t actually very good at drama or sport, but that was part of the fun. When asked the same question in 2014, however, 1 in 5 children up to the age of 10 said they “just want to be rich”. VoucherCodesPro.co.uk after carrying out the survey, found that the desire for fame and fortune was a more popular answer than that of professions such as a police officer, zoo keeper or fire fighter. So how can we prepare our kids for the future? And what’s the secret to hitting the jackpot? Well, there isn’t one – its mostly all common sense.   1.You only need a tenner to start out   Financial terms can sound terrifying but can help turn your pound coins into piles of cash if you make the right decisions about where to put them. One of the most important things to remember about banking your money is that different types of accounts will give you different deals. A vital detail to look out for is what kind of interest your money will be accruing. There are two key types of interest to look our for: simple interest and compound interest. Simple interest is interest that your earn on your first deposit. For example, if you put your £10 into the bank with a simple interest rate of 5%, you will earn 50p in your first year which will bring your total to £10.50. In the second, third and fourth years of your account, you will also get 50p each year and, after 50 years, you will have a sum of £35 in the bank as opposed to just £10 when you started. Compound interest is altogether more exciting however, as it’s the interest that you earn on the entirety of your account. This means that you get interest on your initial deposit and the total, with the interest that accumulates over the years. If you put your £10 into a bank account with a compound interest rate of 5% therefore, you will also earn 50p in the first year. In the second year, however, you will earn 52p. After 50 years of using a compound interest account, you’ll end up with £114.67 – that’s an additional £79.67 when compared with simple interest! The above calculation has only outlined how much you would earn if you saved £10 a year – start saving £120 a year or break it down into £10 a month and in 50 years time you could have almost £1,000 more in savings than if you’d opted for a simple interest rate. Start saving more now and in a few years, you could be rich.   2. Buying secondhand helps Everyone has a memory of the first time they ever got their first pay packet and that feeling of the world opening up. I know from personal experience that when you’ve suddenly got money in your hands, it’s very difficult not to spend it but one of the secrets to making it last is not spending it all at once. It sounds silly but in The Millionaire Next Door, two US economists, Thomas Stanley and William Danko, spent years researching the behavior of millionaires (U.S. households with net-worths exceeding one million dollars) and discovered something surprising – that millionaires are more likely to be middle-class and live in so-called blue collar neighborhoods than have a so-called white collar job and live in a fancy neighborhood. The authors divided households into three groups, Under Accumulators of Wealth, Average Accumulators of Wealth and Prodigious Accumulators of Wealth and asserted that the key difference between them was not the size of their income, but what they spend their income on. Most of those classified as Prodigious Accumulators of Wealth (aka millionaires) did not lead extravagant lifestyles or spend stupid amounts on holidays or handbags. Instead, they lived below their means, spending money on second hand cars and furniture which enabled them to have a decent amount of money left from their pay packet each week. By spending more money in Primark (true story) than on high end fashion brands that would soon depreciate in style, this meant that they also avoided the financial black hole of the status label lifestyle and stuck to staples they could wear anywhere. As Stanley and Danko point out, this lifestyle choice also set a good example to their children as kids tended not to expect nor demand outrageous purchases from their parents and learnt how to budget. But, Sanley and Danko emphasize that the wealthiest do not get their millions by solely scrimping and highlight the need to invest money for good returns (see below) and the importance of a little risk to get the biggest rewards. Despite being first published in 1996, as Stanley’s 2010 preface underlines, The Millionaire Next Door is a book that is worth the initial expense and one whose ideas might make you think a little bit more about whether you are making the most of your money.   3. You need a bit of knowledge For the majority of us who aren’t natural financial whizkids, finding out what the word “investment” really means is vital to cracking the puzzle of what to do with the money you don’t want to spend. There is a wide range of different investment opportunities out there and they range from shares and bonds to investments in property and commodities. Here’s a quick break down of these 4 key areas: Shares – Shares are the most conventional form of investment and are a stake in a particular company. You can buy shares in most companies on your local high street and so you could become a shareholder of Boots, should it take your fancy. You can make money from shares when they increase in value and you sell them on, or when they give you dividends (they make a profit). Bonds – Bonds are basically a loan to a company looking to make some money and so can be compared with IOUs. Investing in bonds is usually considered less risky than investing in stocks as the time period, rate of interest and value of the loan are set in advance with a guarantee that it will be paid back. But this does also means that they are potentially not as lucrative an investment as shares. Property – Investing in property does as it says on the tin. While you can invest in housing, such as buy-to-let homes, there is also the option to invest in commercial property like shops or factories. Property investments also tend to offer more security as while the stock market can collapse, the practical and monetary value of your house (as long as it remains standing) is ‘set in stone’ whatever the financial weather. Commodities – Commodities are physical substances that are mined or manufactured such as gold, silver, oil or even art and are also often a stable investment. Once you have taken the time to decide in which area you would like to invest, you need to make an informed decision on how you will do it. As it takes a considerable amount of time and energy to research individual companies and shares, and as it can be very risky putting all of your eggs in the basket of just one firm, it is often advisable to invest via a fund (although there are other avenues to explore as well). Funds professionally manage your money and pool it with that of other investors to procure a significant number of assets and make the most of your savings. They make investing a lot easier as they keep an eye on the stock markets and make sure you’re getting a bang for your buck. Getting the services of a fund manager does not come cheap, however, as they will charge you for things like stockbroking fees and send you a management bill. This is why it pays to do your research and to make sure you get informed before you make a decision. Here are some good sites to get you up to speed: Hargreaves Lansdown Interactive Investor Bestinvest Charles Stanley Direct Remember that getting clued up is a great idea for becoming more financially savvy in general, and you should take advantage of every opportunity you have to expand and develop your knowledge, whether it be be subscribing to the Financial Times or gritting your teeth through the Radio 4 business news!   4. Talent helps When it comes to getting rich in the arts, sport or business, (unfortunately for me) talent is actually important. While it sounds like a cliche, this means that the best investment you can make in your life is setting aside some serious time to figure out what your special skills are. If you’re stuck for ideas then don’t worry – here are three things to try to help you uncover your hidden talents: Go find yourself! When was the last time you got away from the daily grind and put yourself in a truly challenging situation? Book a one way ticket to Berlin or Lagos and you might find the inspiration and fresh outlook you need to start from scratch. Go test yourself! If you’re really at a loose end and need some career guidance, try yourself out on a career test and see what it recommends. You might be told you should stop everything and become a fish farmer (my 18 year old self was ecstatic) but you might also be presented with a career idea you never imagined. Try CareerFitter or What CareerIsRightForMe.com for some quick and easy career questions. Go network! Make a list of your favorite people and their jobs and do what you can to get out and meet them. As celebs such as Ashton Kutcher found out, make the most of local creative competitions and, even if you don’t win, they might give you the contacts you need to become a star.   5. Persistence and hard work are essential Not to put a damper on your post-epiphany celebrations but once you’ve nailed your star quality, along comes the hard work which is translating that skill into a marketable reality. If you really want to get rich by doing what you love, then you’ve got to psyche yourself up to overcome the obstacles and setbacks that will inevitably come your way (Murphy’s law, right). If you need a hero, J K Rowling is a personal one of mine and a great example of someone who didn’t give up, despite the fact that it seemed the odds were against her. Although previously employed at Amnesty International, the Chamber of Commerce and as a foreign language teacher in Portugal, she found herself at a low point in 1993 when she moved to Edinburgh, a single mum, broke and diagnosed with depression. Seven years after graduating from university, Rowling said that she saw herself as a failure but still continued writing, her faith in her own talent enabling her to get herself through. Two years later, with a finished manuscript under her arm, Rowling was signed by a literary agency but still had to face the difficult environment of the business as her draft was rejected by 12 different publishers. Her grafting paid off however, as she was eventually taken on by Bloomsbury and preceded to become one of the most successful writers of her generation. J K Rowling is only one example of someone who put her life and soul into her dream to make it come true. Ask yourself if you’re prepared to do the same for what you do.   6. Keep a balance There’s no two ways about it – making money can be stressful. That’s why it’s important to look after yourself and your mental health, especially when confronted with the ups and downs of the markets. And that’s also why it’s a good idea to spend some of the money you are trying to make – you deserve it! These don’t have to be extravagant purchases that set your life goals back by £100,000s but little luxuries like a new pair of shoes or a weekend break in Rome that make you feel good about yourself and put your life into perspective.   7. Some people are so poor that all they have is money Focusing your life on becoming rich is not only shallow and narrow, it’s also generally not the way to get the money in. When it comes to making it through your work it generally comes as a side-effect of doing your best to give to others in terms of talent or products/services in business. Don’t follow the money all the time if you really want to be rich. And anyway, money in itself is not riches. Over time we find out that a ‘richer life’ involves far more of love, family and serving others. Might sound trite but it’s true. The post 7 things no one will tell you about becoming rich appeared first on MoneyMagpie.

https://www.moneymagpie.com/manage-your-money/7-things-no-one-will-tell-you-about-becoming-rich

[mysteryshelf]

BLOG POST - The Oliana Mercer Series

Welcome to

THE PULP AND MYSTERY SHELF!

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GUEST POST BY THE AUTHOR

HOW ACTING LED ME TO THE WRITE ROAD

During my two-year attempt at acting, I had the pleasure of meeting actor Dan Lauria. He was a guest speaker at an actor’s workshop held by my agent at the time in Colorado.

  If you are not familiar with him, he was the dad on the family show The Wonder Years, and I loved him in it. A while back, I got to see him in a 1988 movie called David.  He played the role of a disturbed father which was a huge difference compared to his role as the grumpy and caring dad on the show. After the movie was over, I realized how frustrated I’d become watching him play this character. It had distorted my view of the guy I looked forward to seeing each week.

  Once I’d gotten over that the movie was based on a true story, I told myself that Dan Lauria was doing his job as an actor. He’d honed his craft. That was one of the moments that helped me decide that acting wasn’t for me. I wanted to be behind the camera and write. The similarities in each artist’s performance, whether it is on screen or paper, are meant to touch an audience. But to make any of it real, I had to do what Dan did—make my writing a priority.

  Fast forward to today. As I look back and reflect, it has been a long, long road. Going to conferences and treating my writing like a business on an author budget was tough. Except my desire to be a writer was stronger than my addiction to avocados. With all of the ups and downs, the easiest thing for me would have been to give quit. But that’s the one thing I refused to do. When my books weren’t selling, I kept writing. When the rejection letters poured in, I kept writing. When I reached the point of exhaustion, I took a nap and started a new chapter.

  I’ll never forget what my writing mentor told me. She said, “Keep your head low and just write.” And that’s what I’m doing.

Shadowed Seats

Oliana Mercer Series Book 1

by Marguerite Ashton

Genre: YA Mystery

Oliana knows that every family has a secret, but she never expected hers to come from the grave.

High school senior Oliana Mercer dreams of attending the prestigious Reyersen Drama Academy and pursue her acting career. But when tragedy strikes, Oliana discovers secrets hidden from her by her adopted parents, dimming the lights on her perfect world.

As the sins of the past surface, Oliana finds herself caught up in a tug-of-war between two families while the love for her boyfriend is tested.

Determined to find some form of happiness in life, Oliana becomes student director in the high school’s senior play. When her best friend, Devin Worthy, dies during dress rehearsal, Oliana is re-cast as the lead.

Everyone thinks the death was a suicide, except Oliana, whose search for clues may be enough motive for the killer to murder again.

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Staged

Oliana Mercer Series Book 2

It’s been two weeks since Oliana Mercer learned a horrible family secret and witnessed the death of her best friend. Two weeks of heartache, secrets, and lies. While Oliana wants to move on, graduation day is a turning point for her, but for the worse.

Austin wants Oliana to stay and not attend Reyersen Drama Academy, a relative from the past wants her forgiveness, the custody battle for her little brother moves forward…and then there’s James whose recent drug habit landed him in trouble. Now he’s missing. After a charred body, believed to be James is found in a dumpster behind the high school, Oliana receives a text from James’ phone.

When Oliana turns to the police for help, she is pulled into a conflict that makes her question whether to obey the law while fighting with the family who abandoned her.

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Cold Read

Oliana Mercer Series Book 3

Settling into campus life at the posh Reyersen Academy acting school, Oliana Mercer prepares for an audition for a lead part in a play called Cold. She soon discovers that her new roommate is not only vying for the same role, but is seeing Austin – Oliana’s ex-boyfriend. She does all she can to avoid Austin until he is found murdered at a party. With hardly any clues, she starts snooping around and descends into Reyersen’s forbidden East Wing, which mirrors the set for the upcoming play.

As Oliana learns more about the school’s past, she begins to suspect people around her might be involved and becomes obsessed with finding out what really happened. When another body is discovered, Oliana finds out that acting will be her best chance for survival.

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Burned Bridges

Prequel to the Oliana Mercer Series

Newly sober and dating the man of her dreams, Traci Collins is ready to enjoy the good life, until her new best friend, Olivia Durning, confides a dreadful secret far worse than Traci could imagine.

Sealed by a shared bond, and unaware there is more to the secret than what she was told, Collins feels honor-bound to protect her friend when a confrontation between Olivia and her childhood tormentor turns deadly.

A mysterious text forces Traci to question Olivia’s actions and re-examine her loyalties. When the answers to Traci’s questions endanger a life she treasures more than her own, she must decide if friendship has a limit. For a bridge once burnt severs ties forever…

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When Marguerite Ashton was in her twenties, she took up acting but realized she preferred to work behind the camera, writing crime fiction. A few years later, she married an IT Geek and settled down with her role as wife, mom, and writer. Five kids later, she founded the Crime Writer’s Panel and began working with former law enforcement investigators to create; Criminal Lines Blog, an online library for crime writers who need help with their book research.

She’s a workaholic who hides in her writer’s attic, plotting out her next book and stalking Pinterest for the next avocado recipe.

A member of Sisters in Crime, Marguerite grew up in Colorado, but is now happily living in Wisconsin and playing as much golf as possible. She can be found on Twitter and Facebook.

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BLOG POST – The Oliana Mercer Series was originally published on the Wordpress version of The Pulp and Mystery Shelf with Shannon Muir