#can you tell i listened to wild and wandering thistle before i wrote this

[rinmession]

Feeling a little sad for Rozenmarine in Lebkuchen/Freya's endings ngl. Spoilers and rambling below:

Of course to start, Not Being Gruesomely Sacrificed is always for the best in the scheme of things, but also: imagine living so much of your life with fate as a compass, being so thrilled to be with your soulmate after years of dreaming about her to the point you know her intimately without having met her, guiding her through a dream you're willing to die for-- and then out of nowhere, in only a week's time, that fate, that dream, is totally averted at the last minute.

Either Elise chooses someone else to die in Rozenmarine's stead and leaves to become a depressed aristocrat, is burned at the stake, or she abandons the ritual altogether and leaves Kieferberg with someone else, and in any case Rozenmarine's whole raison d'etre is gone... I wonder if it's almost worse on a personal level for her if Elise rejects the ritual and chooses someone else, because then what was Rozenmarine even there for? To give Elise the push she needed to leave I suppose, but then what's Rozenmarine to do with her life afterwards? Elise has a different soulmate who she wants to fulfill her dreams with, not her, and the person Rozenmarine says makes her whole is gone.

She says she's not necessarily Elise's soulmate even if Elise is hers, and that fate is something than can be changed, so she's certainly aware of other possibilities, but I wonder if she knows what to do with herself if the fate she's been chasing is so directly rejected.

Even with her happy ending in Star-Crossed where Elise says Rozenmarine 'broke free of her fate' after abandoning the ritual, she feels the need to go out on her own for two and some years and 'grow', learning new skills and taking on a whole career as a chimney sweep before she's ready to meet Elise. It's a bit vague, but she's certainly lost without the same fate that chained her, and needs to find new grounding for herself. As Elise needs to go out and find the world outside Kieferberg, Rozenmarine must go out and find things for herself that aren't Elise before she's ready for their new beginning. Even though she's with Elise as she's always wanted, this wasn't the plan! How much more disruptive it must be to lose that sense of fate without Elise, without any purpose or person to rebuild herself for.

And just to twist the knife a bit, Rozenmarine in her own route--as happy as she is to be with Elise at last--expresses her remorse that she couldn't have come to Kieferberg earlier, or even been born there to make memories with Elise and feel like she's part of a community. She pointedly compares herself to Leb and Freya here, which makes me wonder how that envy must extend to endings where they're the apple of Elise's eye. How much more bittersweet an experience it must be to only have that happiness for a week before it's snatched from your hands...

So what then becomes of her then when she doesn't show up at all in Leb or Freya's endings (besides, strangely silent, in the background of Auto-da-Fe), when she doesn't have Elise as a tether? Lebkuchen and Freya both appear in one another's happy endings at least, so I think it's intentional. Lost without fate and without her soulmate to aim towards, perhaps it's too much for her to stay on in Kieferberg without Elise after having reached the end of the line on her star-lit path, and so she returns to her nomadic life as a now aimless wanderer, knowing nothing else. Maybe as Elise could never feel like a part of Kieferberg without Holle, Rozenmarine cannot feel a part of them without Elise. More hopefully, perhaps her experience in Kieferberg allows her to reinvent herself as in Star-Crossed, however hard the heartbreak. Rozenmarine characterizes the scales of her treasured pinecone in one of her dates as all part of her path to Elise, but maybe in that same metaphor there's a dot of hope for her she says herself, and there are more scales for her yet to find...

[echoeternally]

Forget Me Not (One-Shot)

Time for another quasi-canon Pokemon one-shot!

It’s weird, because I wasn’t working on this much at all, but the idea struck me this past week, and now I wrote this up. Probably not my best work, just kind of an erratic stream of conscious, but I figured I’d share it.

This one focuses on Nidoking, and his two loves. Yes, he is bi, by the way.

Enjoy! 

It’s been a long day.

 Night is a quick comfort, as I collapse onto the bed, face buried into the pillow. My love comes in not long after me, and I hear him chuckle.

 “So, I guess we’re done for the night, then?”

 “Rhydon, I’m sorry.” I lift my head and turn to him, his ruby eyes wonderfully sparkling in the dim candlelit doorway. “If you want, we can—”

 “Nidoking, it’s late,” he interrupts, approaching the bed. “Sleep, dear.”

 “But—”

 “We have many days to make up for lost time, love.” He leans in close, and rubs at my chin. “Please, just sleep now, and we’ll spend some time together in the morning.”

 His hand against me is firm, but his touch is gentle. Our eyes lower at one another as I nod, and he leans close, breath warm against my face. I guide him the rest of the way, press his lips to mine, and we kiss.

 Not long after, we strip from our clothes and rest under the covers. I gaze out the window, past a vase of flowers on end table before it, and study the starry night sky. Exhaustion overcomes me, and my heavy eyes shut as sleep finds me.

  Sunlight woke me quickly after, and the light burned past my closed eyes. Clutching at my face, I rose from the comforting pillows, tossed the embrace of my blankets, and shook my head.

 After a yawn and a stretch, I glanced back. Alone already, bed emptied as I stood up. Not to keep anyone waiting, I’m quickly dressed, and made my way outside the bedchamber.

 Going through the halls was a blur, but I’m past the castle walls and through the doorway. Where was I…?

 The garden. I blinked and stared ahead, gazing over the lush colors that filled the rear of the castle.

 “Are we supposed to meet here today,” my mind wondered, “or was it elsewhere?”

 “So he’s alive to the world again.”

 My heart skipped a beat. Her voice filled my ears instantly, one that I could never mistake. And I searched about wildly, rushed past the fountain and down into the patches. My jaw dropped.

 Dead ahead, there she was: blue body, shaped similarly to mine, and she’s dressed in a lovely dress that starts in purple and violet at the time, fading into blue at the bottom. She turned to me, some almost star-shaped, five-petal flowers in her hands. They’re bright blue, matching her body, and I’m fixated on her again, my eyes glued to hers, drifting away only to spot her soft smile.

 Nidoqueen.

 “Can you never control yourself?” She laughed, and Gods, I’ve missed hearing that. Nidoqueen swayed in her steps forward, her dress gently blowing along with her movement. “I thought I had made progress with you, taming that wild heart of yours.”

 “It’d never last forever, dear.” I have an outfit that matched hers, but I can’t seem to remember what I’ve done with it.

 “No, I suppose not.”

 My eyes were drawn back to her face, and I stared at the flower crown over her head. Was it there before? No matter. It’s oddly childish, but she had something of a whimsical side to her. Golden yellow flowers decorated it, a contrast to her usual favorites, but certainly lovely, almost complementing her lower jaw. What kind, what kind are they? I want to know, but I hold my tongue; I want to hear her thoughts again, I want to know her once more.

 “How are our knights?” She spun around and strolled away, and I could only follow.

 “Splendid, I’m sure.” We ambled past a bush or two of thistle.

 “Are they, or have you just failed to check in on them, yet again?”

 “Forgive me, for I wanted to meet with my wife this morning,” I joked with her. “Is it a crime for a husband to miss his darling love?”

 “It is when he’s the king that fails to check on those assigned to protect him and his kingdom, surely,” she teased back. “Your wife can always wait.”

 “But it’s been so long.”

 “It was only yesterday to me.” She hummed, and stopped at some red flowers…ah, poppy. “Surely, it couldn’t have been as lengthy as you claim.”

 “Not true, it certainly has been.” Years have passed since I’ve seen her. I know this. Why do I know this, why are we conflicted on…?

 “So you insist.”

 “And I do.”

 “As you like, then.” She reached down, roughly plucked some fuchsia-purple flowers, though they were…not malva, but mallow. Nidoqueen sniffed at a few of them. “Still, you haven’t told me of the knights.”

 “They are surely fine, and they’re training under the capable hands of—”

 Rhydon.

 “…Wait, I was…” Him, I was supposed to meet him this morning.

 “Oh? Did you forget your prior engagement after all?”

 She smirked at me, and I hesitated. Where was Rhydon? Why am I with Nidoqueen? I’m meant to be with him, and yet…I’m here with her. Still staring at me, she bit into the flowers, the mallows, and I shook my head.

 “Love, what are you—?”

 “These are delicious, you know.” She swallowed, and I shook my head. What the hell was that for? “Do you know? No, no you wouldn’t.”

 “Nidoqueen…?”

 “Strangely, I realize, I only belong in your world less and less as the days trickle by.”

 “What?”

 “You and I already know this is wrong, isn’t it?” She ripped the flower crown from her head and tossed it to the ground, at me.

 “Hold, Nidoqueen, love—”

 “Don’t call me that.” Her expression hardened quickly, her eyes narrowed, and she pivoted away again. She’s never been like that; I’ve never seen her so… “I’ve been replaced, no?”

 “That’s not true at all,” I protested.

 A step forward, and a crunch sounded beneath me. I lifted my foot and gazed at the flowers from her crown: yellow…carnations and hyacinth. Those are for…no, no, she’s never been the type to be so—

 “Isn’t it, though?” Again, I returned my attention up to her. The sunny sky became cloudy, and she wandered under…we don’t have a willow tree in the garden. “I’m not meant to be yours anymore, you’ve moved on.”

 “Honestly, I haven’t,” I insisted. “Even as you…Gods, why is this so difficult…?”

 “Why is it?” Nidoqueen’s darkened gaze haunted me. In spite of how terrifying she appeared now, even as the wind picked up, I walked toward her. “Why can’t you just admit that you’ll forsaken me?”

 “Nidoqueen, I’d never—!”

 “Haven’t you?”

 She held up the blue flowers in her hands. The brighter blue ones, the name eludes me, but now there were darker ones, they…they’re anemone. No, that’s not right.

 “My love,” I persisted, even as the gusts pushed me back, “please, I would never forsake you, ever. You’ve given me so much, you’ve helped me grow over time, don’t you understand—?”

 “Even now, you wonder where he is.” I do, that’s true. “Even now, you feel something amiss without him here.”

 “Truly, yes, but he is as much to me as you are—”

 “And why is that?” Tears streamed down her face. She’s never been like this, and jealousy never suited her so. She always told me as much. “Tell me, why are you keeping us on the same level like that?”

 “Because you’re both so very different, and yet I love you both so much,” I offered.

 “Laughable.”

 “Please, it’s true, my love, you must believe me…”

 “Still you think that you have enough in you for both of us,” she spat. Nidoqueen shook her head. “Why do you bother? You make yourself so weak, torn in two like that.”

 “None of that ever mattered so much to you. Nidoqueen, please,” I pleaded, “tell me where this is coming from. What’s wrong? What have I done?”

 “It’s what you haven’t done.” Her eyes narrowed, and they were hauntingly dark, bloodshot red. “It’s what you left buried and never bothered to properly answer. It’s who you let get away, who you haven’t brought to justice.”

 “…Nidoqueen…?”

 “This is how you’ve left me, Nidoking.”

 Black petals floated up around her, and I glanced down at the bed of black roses she stood within. The petals swarmed around her, and she shook her head. I shouted, yelled to her, but no matter how hard I drove myself toward her, something pushed me back. Petals, wind, even the earth itself felt like it would move me back, away from her. And I reached out to her, as the black petals surrounded her, but she made no efforts to move. A lone, bright blue flower floated away from her, and to the ground before me.

 “This is what you need to solve.”

 Her last words to me…they weren’t what she’s told me ever before, but I can’t get those words from my mind.

 Black roses swallowed her, and I couldn’t tell where she went in the darkness. Almost as quick as she appeared to me, she was so instantly, totally gone.

 I cried out, even as the clouds faded away, but she was gone.

 “Nidoking…? …Nidoking!”

 His voice…he’s here, somewhere…in spite of all of this, he’s…maybe behind me, no, above, or…wait, Rhydon, he’s…

  My eyes snap open, and I’m met by the darkness of my bedroom.

 “Nidoking, are you all right?”

 His touch gets me to jolt with a start, and I twist around to him. My breathing is labored, and his eyes, even in the dark, glisten red, but hold fear, worry.

 “Rhydon…I…I’m fine…”

 “Milord, my love, you are not fine,” he argues. “Please, talk to me.”

 “It’s…only her, again.”

 “…You saw her this time?”

 “Yes.”

 “And…?”

 “She’s never been so furious, Rhydon.”

 “No, I don’t recall her like that often at all,” reminisces Rhydon. “Why was she like that?”

 “…I don’t know…” It’s a lie. I have a guess, but it’s late, and I don’t want to keep him up like this.

 “Darling, if you want, we can—”

 “Let it wait, love.”

 “Nidoking…”

 My heart pounds, but he reaches around and strokes me, rubs my back, and I find my shoulders drop. He pulls me in close, and I listen to his breathing, his heart, and it slows, calms mine. We nuzzle into one another, and though I want to tell him everything, I cannot. He doesn’t protest or implore for more, and caresses me gently, keeping me in his arms.

 “Just…give me a moment, Rhydon…”

 His arms slowly slide away from me, and my body is screaming to have him back against me. But I rise, out of the bed, and stroll to the window. Past the roses of many colors in the vase, out that window, I gaze into the night, and then down below, past the fountain, into the garden.

 It’s distant, a bit tricky to spot in the night, but I find them: those bright blue flowers from her arms. I don’t remember if I planted them, or if someone else had. I don’t recall how long they’ve been there, but they were there only after she was gone.

 She’s never been forsaken…how could I ever…?

 But I turn back to him, back to my love, as he waits in bed. His eyes aren’t open completely, but he watches me still, waits. And I return to him, back to our bed. I wrap my arms around him, and though I’m smaller, he leans into me, and lets me hold him back this time.

 “Will you tell me tomorrow?”

 I’m not sure.

 “You don’t have to.”

 And yet I want to.

 “…Nidoking…”

 “…I’m sorry, Rhydon. This isn’t fair to you.”

 “It’s perfectly fine, Nidoking.”

 “No, I shouldn’t—”

 “She was your wife, Nidoking.” His arm reaches around my side and pulls me into him. “She doesn’t just leave you once she’s gone.”

 “But you’re…I’m yours now.”

 “Yes, and I am to you. That doesn’t make you any less hers, or she any less yours.”

 Why do my knights ask for my advice ever opposed to his? My mind is muddled, and his words fall so crisply, he’s so clear.

 “Rhydon…I…”

 “Yes?”

 “…It can wait. Just…don’t wake without me, tomorrow, please?”

 “Of course not.” He pulls my arms over his chest and body, and I nuzzle across his shoulder, against his face and the pillows. “I won’t leave until you’re up.”

 “Thank you.” I kiss him. “Thank you, Rhydon.”

 “Any time you need me, love,” he whispers. “Come on…let’s sleep…”

 “Yes, yes…goodnight, my love.”

 “Goodnight…”

 If I know him as I have better these later years, he’s fighting his own exhaustion to stay with me. But I know him too well, the day was longer for him, and he needs to sleep. His soon steady breathing is rhythm before me, and I know he’s asleep again.

 Once more, I gaze back out the window, to the starry night, to those petal-pointed shapes in sky.

 She’s never forgotten.

Feelsy fic, yay!

I dunno, I was looking up flower meanings again, and I was like, “Ooh, look at all of the sad ones! Can I use them? How could I...oh, I know!” And then I made this one.

If you’re still confused, the bright blue flower that’s in Nidoking’s garden is called the forget-me-not, one of everlasting love and to those that wish to not be forgotten. Hence the symbolism and title.

Malva/mallow are food for the dead, though they’re symbolized as consumed by love. So, that’s the weird Nidoqueen munches on a flower scene. You’re welcome for that oddball moment.

The rest of the flowers are fairly obvious in meaning, hence their use. Dramatic!

But yeah, I’m looking forward to expanding on this idea in the next story, and I guess I’m too eager about Nidoking’s depressed musings, so I came up with this while I’m waiting to get to my next Pokemon fanfic.

Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed the bizarre one!