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soft--dragon · 2 years

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I posted 1,609 times in 2022

1,596 posts created (99%)

13 posts reblogged (1%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@soft--dragon

@fluffallamaful

@tasmanianstripes

@spectral-ask-memes

@rowlets-are-seriously-round

I tagged 1,605 of my posts in 2022

#dragons asks - 1,539 posts

#b3an1e io - 143 posts

#joker anon - 129 posts

#nicodiangelofanboy - 124 posts

#crownin the stars - 115 posts

#bat anon - 101 posts

#squirrel anon - 68 posts

#sh0rt cak3 - 63 posts

#wolf anon - 37 posts

#artymiswritesfics - 36 posts

Longest Tag: 65 characters

#i recommend anyone who loves bedrock bros and fluff to go read it

My Top Posts in 2022:

Light-Hearted In Limbo

Inspired by this ask here

I changed the prompt a bit, hope that's okay <3

Word Count: 3,368

Warnings: A bit of a depressive episode in the beginning but it leads to hurt/comfort and a lot of fluff :D

This is a SFW tickle fic, if you don’t like that then don’t read :)

ALL PLATONIC, PLEASE DON'T INTERACT SHIPPERS

A low, flat hum echoed in the depressive cold of the platform. It made the space horribly eerie, chilling to anything that could hear it. Though, as far as Wilbur Soot was concerned, nothing heard him. His fingers were raw with how long he’d been scratching his nails down the walls, but he couldn’t stop himself from doing it over, and over, and over again. His glazed eyes were locked to the dried blood on the concrete, the previous attempts of escape of his eternal prison stared straight back at him.

This was his purgatory. A constant, repetitive pattern that never stopped. He was going to suffer this fate forever, he knew it, it was practically written on the wall alongside his blood. He was never escaping. Never. Never.

“-ilbur! Oi! Wilbur!”

Hands landed on Wilbur’s tightly drawn shoulders, the contact burning through the thick trench coat wrapped around the man’s shoulders. He couldn’t keep the scream from wrenching from his constricted lungs, swiping out at the thing attacking him and curling up tighter.

“Hey! Jesus fucking christ, don’t hit me dickhead!”

In his panic, Wilbur tried to shove at the hands still digging into his skin. “Let go of me! Let go- don’t hurt m-me- please-”

The hands left his shoulders almost immediately and Wilbur shuddered, the cold drowning him once more and making his heart ache for the warmth to return, even if it had been overwhelming. He hunched in on himself, shivering against the freezing floor.

The silence was louder than his previous yelling, the stillness in the air making the man’s skin crawl. Then, a small sigh sounded out, making him flinch and press closer to the wall.

“Wilbur, I’m not gonna hurt you.” The gruff voice was quiet, concern lining the edges.

Recognition tingled in the back of Wilbur’s brain and he hesitantly lifted his head to risk a look. A pair of orange eyes looked back at him, framed by mutton chops and gnarled, chipped horns.

“S-Schlatt?” Wilbur croaked, staring at the semi-translucent ram hybrid in front of him. After all this time in his hellscape, had he finally lost it?

The man before him let out a small breath again. “Yeah,” he moved back a bit, not to crowd the brunette. “You look like shit.”

Wilbur blinked rapidly, making the ram hybrid come more into focus. Schlatt was squatting on the concrete, watching him with careful eyes, his ears bent back in clear apprehension of Wilbur freaking out again.

So, Wilbur slowly let go of the vice grip on his knees, then kicked Schatt’s ankle.

“Fuck!” Schlatt fell back with a yell, gripping his foot tightly and gritting his teeth. “What the fuck man?! Why’d you do that?!”

Wilbur fully sat up, eyebrows high and teeth gritted together. “You scared the crap out of me!" he snapped.

Schlatt grumbled, rubbing his stinging ankle. “Yeah no shit, I can see that- fuck that hurt man, the fucks wrong with you?"

Wilbur was too busy trying to wrap his head around the situation to really acknowledge Schlatt's griping. "How did you get here?" He asked.

The ram glared at him but the pain in his ankle seemed to have calmed as he answered gruffly. "Got bored."

Wilbur stared at him for a moment, the cogs in his head screeching against each other as he slowly processed that nugget of information. "Bored? How the hell did you leave your limbo?"

Schlatt shrugged. "Don't know. Don't care. I figured it out somehow." He dropped his hands behind him, propping himself up. "I wanted something entertaining after years of pure hell."

Something angry curled in the base of Wilbur’s gut, and he glared at the man. “Don’t expect anything from me, I’m still pissed at you.”

Schlatt dipped his head to the side almost patronisingly. “Still? Dude, it’s been like, what? Ten years since everything happened? Why can’t we just go back to old times?”

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173 notes - Posted June 18, 2022

Give Us A Laugh, We Miss It

Inspired by this ask here

Word Count: 2,178

Warnings: None

This is a SFW tickle fic, if you don’t like that then don’t read :)

Ranboo's sing-song voice hummed out in the room, “Not gonna get me~”

“How do you not laugh at anythin’?” Tommy demanded, slapping a hand into the armrest of his chair as he turned to look at the masked teen beside him. “We really can’t see you trying not to- ya know-” He pulled a face as if holding his breath and bringing a hand to cover his mouth, emphasising Ranboo’s advantage of the mask hiding his features, only for the teen to throw his hands up in a helpless shrug.

“No- I just haven’t- I legitimately have not laughed,” he replied, his own words tapering off at Tubbo’s mutter of, ”I’m gonna rip it off.” His eyes were impishly glinting, which were the only things seeable in the fabric of his red hoodie that was practically drowning him. The narrowed pair of eyes were locked right on Ranboo’s black and white face covering.

Ranboo leaned away with an unseeable smile of amusement. “Don’t you dare rip it off.”

“I have scissors.”

“Don’t rip it off.”

The threat however, was indeed acted upon later that same night.

When they hit end stream, Ranboo slipped off the glasses and mask with a content sigh, his eyes squinting with his smile at the pair on either side of him.

“That went well I think,” he commented, “can’t believe I’m the one that got you both to lose though.”

“We weren’t expecting you to make a balls joke!” Tommy defended, tapping at his keyboard to send a message to his editors about the vod.

“I didn’t, I was just stating a fact!”

“Bullshit, you knew what you were doing,” Tubbo grumbled, glaring at his phone which was being flooded with Twitter notifications from the tweet he was forced to make from losing the challenge.

Ranboo chuckled quietly, folding his glasses and placing them on the desk alongside the iconic mask, stretching his arms back over his chair. He was unaware of Tubbo staring at him rather intensely.

Tommy however, scoffed loudly. “Oh, so you laugh now that the cameras are off? Such a bastard.”

The faceless streamer gave an offended noise. “What? We’re not doing the challenge anymore! Why wouldn’t I laugh now?”

Tubbo leaned towards him, a devious smirk on his face as a plan formulated in his head. "That’s a good point Ran, we haven’t heard you laugh in so long. I think you owe us some laughter.”

Ranboo gave him an odd look, confusion evident in his face. “Huh?”

Tommy, who had taken part and fallen victim in Tubbo’s schemes before, knew exactly where the boy’s mind was headed, and he turned in his chair slowly, a mischievous grin stretching on his face.

Now, Ranboo was running laps of Tubbo’s house, screaming like Wario as Tommy and Tubbo skidded after him, cackling madly as they tried to cut off the American from escaping.

“Bugger off! Both of you! Just- Tommy, crAP!” Ranboo had to slide on the floorboards with his socked feet to avoid running straight into the blonde, changing course mid-motion to bolt towards the kitchen instead.

Tommy gave a yell of outrage. “Oi! No- Tubbo catch him! Catch him!”

Tubbo absolutely leapt across the space, managing to grab Ranboo around the waist and cling on with surprising strength, planting his heels into the ground and laughing when the boy almost stumbled to the floor. "Got him! I got him, Tom!”

“Hold him there!”

Ranboo dropped an arm to Tubbo’s side, squeezing quickly at the skin and delighting at Tubbo’s squeal of alarm, the boy immediately scrambling away from Ranboo and releasing him. Unfortunately for the tall teen, Tommy had skidded in front of the kitchen doorway, blocking off his one way of escape.

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173 notes - Posted August 15, 2022

Meetups in Florida

Inspired by this ask here

Word Count: 2,866

Warnings: None

This is a SFW tickle fic, if you don’t like that then don’t read :)

Meeting Dream was one of the biggest, coolest, pogchampest moment of Tommy’s life.

The guy was just so awesome! The moment Tommy knocked on the door and it opened to reveal Dream in all his 6’3 glory, he’d cracked a grin and pulled Tommy into a warm embrace. Tommy clung on, the hug making him giddy beyond reason.

“It’s good to finally see you kiddo,” he spoke softly, Tommy was able to hear the smile in his voice.

“You too big man,” Tommy’s voice was just about a whisper, in awe of the whole situation. Dream was right here, he was hugging him, this was happening.

Sapnap was just as ecstatic to meet Tommy, sweeping him up into his arms and spinning him around, laughing with the boy as he clung back to his friend.

“The gremlin child is in the house!” Sapnap whooped, stopping in his excited spinning and simply bear hugging the teen close.

“Aye! I’m not a child, bitch!”

“First cuss in the house and he’s barely been here five minutes,” Dream laughed from where he was leaning against the wall.

“But he didn’t deny he was a gremlin!” Sapnap grinned, gently putting Tommy down and ruffling his hair affectionately. “It’s awesome to meet you bud.”

Tommy pretended he wasn’t leaning into the hand messing with his curls, his toothy smile spread across his face. “You too Sap Nappitus."

The rest of the day was filled up by relaxing together and planning the vlog they were going to film the next day. Dream was suggesting visiting his favourite places that would allow Tommy to see Florida. While Sapnap offered a petting zoo, knowing Tommy's love for animals and wanting to indulge the kid.

In the end, they decided to do both. Vlog Tommy's tour of Florida, but leave the petting zoo off camera. The adults agreed that not everything had to go on film, Tommy didn't have to be pumping out content the entire trip. Some moments could be left for them to enjoy.

The entire time they were talking, Tommy had been leaning on one of them. He’d pre-warned them he was going to get clingy during the meet up, and got an amused “It’s okay Toms, you’re more than welcome to." And with that reassurance, Tommy became the human embodiment of a barnacle. Whether he was touching a knee to one of theirs, leaning on their side, or simply hugging them close, Tommy was in full ‘clingy raccoon mode’. Dream and Sapnap may have sent boastful texts to Wilbur who promptly sent them a photo of his middle finger and a plane ticket to Florida.

They weren’t sure if the second picture was a joke or not.

To Dream and Sapnap’s delight, Tommy was just as sweet and kind as he was off camera. His internet persona was completely gone, leaving one of the more adorable teenagers they’d ever met.

Sapnap gave Tommy bear hugs constantly, ruffling his hair and gently flicking his forehead when the boy said a particularly cheeky comment. Dream kept carding his fingers through Tommy’s curls when he leaned into the older man’s side, dropping nicknames and compliments left and right when he saw fit. Tommy was relishing in the contact and praise. He usually got it from Wilbur, and having to visit America without him sucked, the loneliness was suffocating. However, with the people he was meeting and spending time with, it helped the ache in his chest.

The hours were whisked away, soon night approached and the trio were kicked back in the lounge, sharing stories and laughing, simply enjoying each other’s company in person after being stuck behind a screen for so long.

Tommy had eaten the snacks provided, but when you’re a 6’3 teenager and still growing, you tend to need a larger portion of food. Sapnap grinned at him when Tommy’s stomach growled, already pulling out a takeaway menu and throwing it at him.

“I’ll go pick it up when we’ve ordered,” he said, standing and going to find his phone.

Tommy, who was leaning on Dream’s shoulder, held the pamphlet up to the man. “What you getting?”

Dream hummed, leaning over to read the name of the food place before dropping his cheek into Tommy’s hair. “Burger,” he replied simply.

The blonde snorted with a fond eye roll. “You are so American.”

“Don’t worry Tommy, I’ll bring you onto our side one day.”

“No- No you won’t, I’m a proud British boy, I will never leave my old ways bitch.”

“Yes you will,” Dream grinned, hugging Tommy closer and squeezing a bit. “I’ll bring you over to the land of guns, burgers and gators!”

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177 notes - Posted January 14, 2022

Welcome Home (Don't Leave Just Yet)

Inspired by this ask here

Word Count: 960

Warnings: None

This is a SFW tickle fic, if you don’t like that then don’t read :)

ALL PLATONIC, DON'T MAKE ME GRAB MY NERF GUN >:(

"Toms-"

"Shut up."

"Tommy, I have to get up."

"No you don't."

"I can't stay here forever."

"I'll make you. You're my personal pillow. You're not moving."

Ranboo sighed heavily, (fondly,) and carded a hand over Tommy's fluffy hair. "I leave for a few weeks and then you become a barnacle?"

"I'm much cooler than a barnacle, bitch," Tommy readjusted his arms and smooshed his face further into the crook of Ranboo's neck.

The taller streamer tried not to flinch at the contact, his smile widening as Tommy's breath tickled his neck. "Oh really?" He teased, "much cooler than a barnacle?"

"Obviously yes, that's what I just said."

"Would a barnacle still be able to cling onto rocks if it was tickled?"

"Barnacles aren't ticklish, you nimrod."

"I know, but you are."

Tommy's eyes slammed open, his whole body tensing. He blinked up at Ranboo who was grinning widely and felt a flutter of nerves in his stomach.

"W-Well- I'm- I'm not that ticklish-"

Ranboo hummed, tapping his fingers against Tommy's waist and smirking when the boy flinched. "So you're saying if I tickled you, you wouldn't let go?"

Tommy internally screamed. This is a trap, this is a trap, this is a trap-

"Duh, I'm better than a barnacle, I'll just hold on tighter if you tickle me!" Tommy tried to hide his growing nerves with bravado.

"Is that so?"

Fingers softly - so softly they barely touched - trailed along Tommy's sides. The blonde squeaked and shoved his face back into Ranboo's chest, clenching his hoodie tightly. Not even two seconds and he was already cracking.

"How are you doing Toms?" Ranboo chuckled, massaging his fingertips into the gaps between the boy's ribs.

"G-Greheheat," Tommy gasped, hugging Ranboo around his middle more, all the while in fits of giggles. "Juhust pehehachy!"

"Well that's good to hear," Ranboo skittered his fingers up and down Tommy's side and ribs in alternating patterns, keeping the boy guessing. "I would've thought that you'd let go by now."

His thumbs pressed into his hips for a moment, a smirk lifting Ranboo's mouth when Tommy squealed. He focused back on the blonde teen's sides, brushing over his lower back every once in a while.

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224 notes - Posted February 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Snowstorm Serenity

Based off of this prompt here

Word Count: 3,325

Warnings: None

This is a SFW tickle fic, if you don’t like that then don’t read :)

Ranboo could be called many things. Skittish. Quiet. Hardworking.

One thing that popped into Phil and Techno’s heads was, at this moment, awkward. The tall teen was sitting rigid in the plush couch of their cabin, hands squeezing the fabric of his dress pants and eyes nervously flitting around the room. He was the embodiment of a paranoid feline on catnip.

You see, there was an awfully strong snowstorm blustering outside. Phil being the worrisome father figure he was, invited Ranboo to stay in their well fortified home instead of the rickety cabin the enderman hybrid had made. It took a bit of convincing, the boy was extremely hesitant to invade the pair’s own house, but after a bit more reassuring and coaxing, Phil got him to agree.

However, once in the warm and cosy home, Ranboo looked terribly out of place.

Phil sat beside him, his wings twitching in worry and agitation at Ranboo’s restlessness. He tried to focus on the book he was reading, the mug of steaming tea in his free hand slowly going cold the longer he neglected it. Techno sat alone across the room, weapons laid out on the table with the piglin hybrid re-enchanting them back to their best. The only sounds in the room were the crackling fire, the raging snowstorm outside the cabin, and the occasional chimes of a tool being fully restored.

Ranboo’s tall ears perked and flicked at the different sounds in the room, his eyes not staying in one spot for more than a few seconds before they jumped somewhere else. Phil finally cracked after another minute of it.

He sighed. “Ranboo.”

The boy immediately winced, ears dipping close to his head and making Phil’s heart squeeze sadly. The pair of wide heterochromia eyes met his own, and all the blonde could see was anxiety.

“Y-Yes Philza?” Ranboo stumbled over his words, shoulder subconsciously curling further inward.

Phil released a short huff, an easy smile lifting his lips. “We’ve gone over this mate, you can call me Phil.”

Ranboo stared at him for a moment before giving a slow, timid nod.

Phil set down his book and tea, resting his elbows on his knees and dipping his head to the side. He cleared his throat a bit. “You don’t have to be so tense Ranboo, neither of us are gonna bite you.”

Ranboo, once again, nodded mutely. The action was incredibly stiff and looked like it took all of the boy’s willpower to do it. Damn, how freaked out was this kid?

Phil was scrambling for a way to get the boy to open up and relax when Techno dropped a sword on the table with a loud clatter, making them both flinch.

The piglin had a rather bored look on his face, eyes locked to Ranboo. “Kid, you’re allowed to chill out,” he grunted. “I know Phil and I seem intimidating, but Phil will literally chirp when you scratch a specific spot on his wings, and I will spend hours with the wolves and play with their pups.”

Phil made a slightly strangled sound at the admittance to his soft spot. Techno didn’t even spare him a glance.

“We’re both dorks,” he said bluntly, “if you’re afraid we’re gonna be mad at you for relaxing in our home you’re wrong. We invited you here cause it was cold outside and we wanted to make sure you were okay. Got me?”

Ranboo’s mouth had slipped open at Techno’s words, his ears perked up a bit but he was still showing signs of nervousness.

Techno clearly spotted it. He folded his hands on his lap and dipped his ears marginally, both were attempts to soften his broad frame. “What’s eatin’ ya kid?” He asked, somehow managing to sound gentle and firm at the same time.

Ranboo winced again, making Phil want to hug him and Techno even more determined to find a way to make him relax.

“I-I…I just-” Ranboo’s grip on his pants tightened further, the words stumbling over each other as if they were new-born deer learning to walk. “...I shouldn’t- I’m not supposed to-” His tail twitched anxiously at his side, his eyes planted on the floor. “I shouldn’t be…doing nothing.”

There was a sound of confusion from Phil and a hum from Techno.

The piglin sat back in his chair, looking at the teen with a neutral expression. “How come?” he asked plainly.

Ranboo flicked his eyes up to Techno in confusion. “Be- Because you let me stay here? I need to pay rent and- and I can’t fall behind- and I need to be ready for…for anything. I can’t afford to relax when someone might…you know…attack? That’s all anyone seems to do here. Fight each other.”

There was a hand suddenly on his shoulder. Ranboo flinched at the touch and snapped his gaze to Phil who was looking at him sadly.

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251 notes - Posted March 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #dragon speaks #Not quite sure what I expected lads #Wild year huh?#Can't wait for the next one #also nice number of times posted #very close to funny number

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itwoodbeprefect · 2 years

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I posted 3,947 times in 2022

207 posts created (5%)

3,740 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@smileylover99

@spaceradars

@eg515

@redgoldblue

@randomkiwibirds

I tagged 2,875 of my posts in 2022

Only 27% of my posts had no tags

#starsky and hutch - 360 posts

#* - 208 posts

#mash - 142 posts

#sga - 125 posts

#art - 90 posts

#leverage - 79 posts

#tos - 75 posts

#our flag means death - 61 posts

#eurovision - 54 posts

#fanart - 52 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#it scares him half to death but mostly for how much he wants it to be true – to not need to keep this to himself even if it’s just for once

My Top Posts in 2022:

tumblr_video

when you’re a priest and for a second there it seems like this wedding might have brought gays to your church. and it has, but also they’re cops

160 notes - Posted January 17, 2022

tumblr_video

“something’s queer. let’s check it out.”

or: a compilation! he’s here because he’s here because he’s practically the only character that says the word queer.

also, adding in the old post that got us to this point:

176 notes - Posted September 28, 2022

shoutout to serpico pacino for his immaculate sense of style. weird bucket hat, full beard, earring (not visible), double bangle bracelet, whatever those clothes are, and a mouse. literally who could do it better

215 notes - Posted January 27, 2022

love me a male main character who is ambiguously and yet so very sharply queer. benton fraser, hawkeye pierce, john sheppard, ken hutchinson even, if you’re feeling wild. is he gay? is he asexual, bi, aromantic, anything in between? is he even a he? yes. also no. also both and neither. he’s schrödinger’s man. this is the perfect character type

224 notes - Posted January 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

people who only speak languages that don’t make compound words by smashing multiple existing words together into one big mess of letters with no spaces will never experience the epic highs and lows of reading a salad recipe that calls for “kerstomaatjes”, which depending on where your brain thinks the cutoff point should be could mean either cherry tomatoes (kers-tomaatjes) or small christmas grannies (kerst-omaatjes). it’s “let’s eat, grandma!” vs. “let’s eat grandma!” all over again, but concentrated into a single word, which, as two prominent examples of humorous language mishaps, should set one thinking about the international linguist community’s apparent repressed desire to cannibalize their maternal forebears. in this essay i will

3,903 notes - Posted March 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #that's such a dramatic longest tag goddamn #can't even find the post associated with it so i have no idea what that was about??#also. that throwaway serpico screenshot making it to number three in the top most notes. oh boy #other than that a solid top 5 though. thank you for your good taste tumblr #*#edit: wait oh god i hadn't even noticed that eurovision had made it to the most used tags. love that for me

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glitzwashere · 2 years

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I posted 71 times in 2022

That's 71 more posts than 2021!

31 posts created (44%)

40 posts reblogged (56%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@gouthepro

@zoriizons

@im-urchin

@pansear-doodles

@onebadnoodle

I tagged 60 of my posts in 2022

Only 15% of my posts had no tags

#cookie run - 14 posts

#crk - 14 posts

#glitzart - 12 posts

#sketch - 10 posts

#glxtzbakublog - 9 posts

#bakugan reboot - 9 posts

#cookie run kingdom - 8 posts

#bakugan - 8 posts

#splatoon 3 - 6 posts

#writing - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 112 characters

#imagine fist fighting your old man boss because your new old man boss said so after just calling you an octojerk

My Top Posts in 2022:

⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰

Eclair Cookie

Please do not steal, copy or use

7 notes - Posted June 14, 2022

Update: Clotted Cream has started doing it too. They're planning something, like kingdom destruction

8 notes - Posted May 21, 2022

BROOOOOO

This update is so cool, LOOK @ THEM

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10 notes - Posted July 28, 2022

Hi I love Candy Diver

See the full post

11 notes - Posted September 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

So this is how the new Cookie Run Update is going for me with stuff

See the full post

13 notes - Posted September 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #my tumblr year in review #uhhh wow #I'll promise I'll add tags more to stuff I've reblogged #sometimes I'm just lazy #ANYWAYS CAN'T WAIT FOR ANOTHER CHAOTIC YEAR ON TUMBLR WITH YOU ALL

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taikawaititisbellypudge · 2 years

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I posted 3,704 times in 2022

That's 3,310 more posts than 2021!

92 posts created (2%)

3,612 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@snake-snack-stede

@edwardteachonthebeach

@captainmilf

@vampireshmampire

@cowboyselkie

I tagged 496 of my posts in 2022

#ofmd - 152 posts

#our flag means death - 129 posts

#wwdits - 22 posts

#rhys darby - 9 posts

#blackbonnet - 8 posts

#wwdits spoilers - 8 posts

#ofmd s2 - 8 posts

#prev tags - 7 posts

#nathan foad - 7 posts

#ofmd season 2 - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#’multiples so ed and stede could both have one multiples so ed and stede could both have one multiples so ed and stede could both have one’

My Top Posts in 2022:

This cast has me in a chokehold

209 notes - Posted July 28, 2022

I know in my heart Lucius is alive but I'm still very afraid

322 notes - Posted September 17, 2022

See the full post

338 notes - Posted September 25, 2022

Can’t wait to see what song they decide to use in season two that makes us all go feral

1,152 notes - Posted June 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

There’s just something about this shot that makes me absolutely lose my mind

2,811 notes - Posted April 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #i love you all so much thank you for making it such a great year!!!#also no idea what that long tag is referring to #and when i search it on my blog it doesn't show up surprise lmao #anyway can't wait for this next year with all of you 😊

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phosphorus-noodles · 2 years

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I posted 1,211 times in 2022

That's 1,126 more posts than 2021!

276 posts created (23%)

935 posts reblogged (77%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@neohood

@eevee-eclair

@sevenbirdsbrainrot

@bdoubleowo

@phosphorus-noodles

I tagged 1,206 of my posts in 2022

#pho.reblogs - 898 posts

#pho.posts - 150 posts

#pho.saves - 142 posts

#pho.asks - 92 posts

#sm0lcatfish - 54 posts

#empires smp - 45 posts

#empiresblr - 39 posts

#mcyt - 33 posts

#leftover.noodles - 33 posts

#alsmp - 28 posts

Longest Tag: 100 characters

#my irl asked me how my elusive ‟portuguese bf‟ was doing today and i just abt threw up out of stress

My Top Posts in 2022:

this was empires the musical right.

1,020 notes - Posted June 19, 2022

BOAT DUO BOAT DUO

1,519 notes - Posted June 17, 2022

See the full post

1,947 notes - Posted April 20, 2022

can't wait to see what other problems he'll cause ^^

2,153 notes - Posted August 13, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Great work everyone.

6,233 notes - Posted October 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#gee i never saw that top post coming /s lh #fun year! can't wait to make next year worse :)#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #pho.reblogs

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dilf-c0nn0isseur · 2 months

Note

deadpool fucking you in front of a mirror👀

blessss this is so good🤌 hopefully I did your request justice!

man in the mirror - deadpool x fem!reader

NSFW! MDNI!

Deadpool always seemed horniest after a successful mission, returning to the apartment to find you waiting for him, ready.

And that's how the two of you got to where you were right now- him settled into the couch with you riding him cowgirl style. Hell, today he was so impatient to get his dick inside you that he hadn't even bothered to change out of his suit.

Plus, he knew you liked it when he fucked you while wearing it.

"I really gotta give it to ya babe," he chimed while watching you bounce up on down on his cock. "That pussy of yours is fantastic!"

Sex with Wade was oddly full of laughs, because he really was true to himself and did not ditch that 'merc with a mouth' act.

You let out a breathy laugh as you slammed back down on his lap. "You act like this is the first time you've had it," you quipped back. His hands were currently folded behind his head, leaving you in full control. He watched every movement of yours behind his mask.

"Sorry sweet stuff, pussy's just so good I can't help but forget!"

You giggled and continued your work, but his hands grabbing your hips took you by surprise. He stood up whilst managing to keep his cock from slipping out of you. "Watcha doing Wade?"

He crossed the apartment swiftly to the bathroom, nudging the door open with his shoulder. "We're gonna watch this little show we're putting on together." You raised your eyebrows, his sudden switch up furthering your arousal.

He continued his remarks as he slid you off his hips, positioning you so that you were bent over the bathroom counter, facing the mirror. "Trust me baby, you are gonna love this." His gloved hand reached up your curved back and tangled your hair between his fingers. "I mean, it'd be cruel of me to keep this view from you." He was now lined up behind you with his cock, still wet from just being inside of you, parting your folds. He held up his hands, index and thumb out, one eye squinting, as if checking to make sure the shot was right. "Perfect."

You laughed at his commentary while he had been perfecting the position, but the sudden feeling of his cock pushing into your cunt caught you off guard and you gasped. "Fuck Wade!" Your eyes closed from the pressure. He saw this in the mirror, and tsk'd, "Nuh-uh-uh babe, eyes stay open for this." You did as he said, opening your eyes just in time to see him wag is finger back and forth in the mirror, a motion that said 'nope'. "Wouldn't wanna miss this show."

A grin crept onto your cheeks. He was right, you definitely didn't wanna miss this. Watching him standing behind you with his hands gripping your hips, pounding himself into you, practically rearranging your guts, it drove you insane.

His fingers dug deeper into your skin as you rocked back on him, forcing him deeper. "Damn you are naughty!" You let out a loud squeal as he slammed harder into you, as if to one up your last move. You grabbed the counter to steady yourself. A string of profanities fell from your lips, along with his name. "Fuck, fuck, fuck! I'm gonna cum, Wade!"

Without stopping his movements, he began to dig in one of the pockets of his suit. He grunted as he searched for what he wanted. "One second babe," he said. "Hold that thought."

Finally, he pulled out what he was looking for. "Ah-a!"

Was that- his phone?! You could not imagine what he would be doing with that out right now, until he held it up, his camera open.

"Alright princess, go on."

Thank god he said that, because you couldn't hold your orgasm back a second longer. Right at the height of your climax, you heard a click from the camera on his phone. That fucker just took a mirror picture of him fucking your brains out, your face caught mid-orgasm.

Hot though, you had to admit.

As if that wasn't enough, he swiped up on his phone, continuing his charade, reviewing the picture. "Oh that's getting framed for sure."

Once he had the picture saved to his favorites, he focused back on the real task at hand. "Alright hon, my turn." His pace quickened and your face contorted in pleasure again, walls tightening around him. He let out a loud groan at this feeling and you felt him twitch inside of you as his rhythm began to fall apart.

"Fuck- hold it- hold it-"

He slammed into you, once, twice.

With his third thrust he released himself in you, cum coating the walls of your pussy. You moaned with him as he road out his climax. Once he had milked himself completely dry inside of you, he slowly pulled out, and gave you a firm slap on the ass. "Hey!," you giggled.

"Next time, I'm gonna make sure to get a shot of that ass."

#wade wilson x reader #deadpool x reader #deadpool #deadpool smut #wade Wilson one shot #deadpool x you #wade wilson imagine #deadpool 3

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teddybeartoji · 2 months

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even though toji loves lazing at home with you, he does think it's very adorable how you like to drag him to the cutest little coffee shops you can find. he might let out a grumble or two but those are only so you can whine and pout at him. hand in hand, you tug him behind you while talking his ear off about how you found the place and what the menu is like and how good the reviews are and how pretty it looks and toji takes it all in with a grin on his face.

it's sappy, he knows, but he really can't help it. if you're happy, he's happy and if that means following you through the crowded streets every sunday then so be it. the sound of you humming at the first sip of the warm beverage and the sight of you smiling ever-so-brightly at the first bite of the sweet pastry that's in your hand is enough to get his heart racing. he's giddy, like some teenager who's on his first date ever – the gooey feeling floods his body, every nook and cranny. it never leaves. the rest of the world drowns out as he zones in on your face, mossy green eyes locking onto yours while resting his heavy head on his palm.

smitten.

you ask how his own drink is and all he can muster up is a hum but your smile widens at his response anyway. you're both glad to just be there with each other – no words needed. there's a slight flush on his cheeks and you can't really tell whether it's because of the warm air around you in this coffee shop or it's the hot drink.

it's neither.

obviously, it's because of you.

but it's also because of the small, little velvety box that's hiding in the depths of his right pocket, just waiting for the right time.

#SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBBINGGGGGGG #WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAILING #this was just meant to be one paragraph but then it... grew #i really do love him sm wahh #toji #wtf mickey can write #toji x reader #toji fluff #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #toji fushiguro #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro fluff #miji

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augustinewrites · 3 months

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jealous zhongli my beloved

nestled right in the heart of qiaoying village sits a cozy little apothecary run by you and zhongli.

your little shop is popular for locals and tourists alike, perfect for people looking for natural remedies or just a new tea brew. today is a little bit slower, with everyone in liyue harbor celebrating lantern rite. so zhongli sits in the back with a half drained cup of tea, reviewing the shop’s finances and balancing the books while you work up front, greeting and assisting the last few customers of the afternoon.

every so often he lets his focus drift to where you’re working, passing out unlit sparklers to a trio of young children. you shake your head when their parents try to pay, smiling softly when the young ones thank you excitedly and rush out, dragging the adults behind them.

zhongli’s mind begins to wander to the future, as it often does on days such as this. perhaps next year, you’d be handing sparklers to children of your own.

“are you almost ready to go?” you ask, appearing in the doorway, just as he’s brainstorming baby names in the margins of his work. “i’m waiting on one last gentleman, then we can close for the day.”

zhongli leans back, watching you with a measured expression as he considers your words. “i see. may i ask who this gentleman is? he must be important, if we’re waiting for his business.”

amusement dances across your expression. “he came by yesterday while you were in the city, inquiring about teas. i think you’d enjoy his company, he reminded me of you. incredibly knowledgeable, wise beyond his years, not to mention very handsome…”

now he was really aching to leave, but not to the harbor to witness the festivities. he was aching to take you home, grab his spear, then return and wait for this gentleman.

you look over your shoulder when the bell at the front door tinkles. “oh! there he is!”

“i should greet him,” zhongli suggests (though it doesn't really sound like a suggestion). “i'm sure we have much to discuss.”

“alright, my love. lead the way,” you tease, letting him position himself in front of you.

zhongli forces a somewhat pleasant smile and tone as he greets the customer clad in the fineries of…fontaine.

it takes all of three seconds for him to realize that this is no customer.

but he can't do anything, not in front of you, and he’s sure the hydro dragon wouldn't be so foolish to threaten the safety of one’s mate.

“monsieur neuvillette!” you greet cheerily, peeking around zhongli’s defensive stance. “i have the tea blends you ordered stored in the back. i’ll go grab them.”

so begins a true gentleman’s argument.

“welcome. is there anything i can assist you with in the meantime?” (why have you come?)

the chief justice smiles, though it looks practiced and every bit as forced as zhongli’s. “i’ve just come because i admire fair prices.” (i've come for justice)

zhongli has always known this confrontation would come. though the authority of the original elemental dragons has disappeared from the world, a new generation has come to reclaim what was lost.

“i see.” (i see)

“i've heard much about this place from the locals.” neuvillette says, fearlessly holding eye contact with the archon. “you’ve created quite the human life for yourself, morax. an artifact appraiser, funeral consultant, and now you run a successful apothecary with your lovely mate.”

something old, draconic, possessive rumbles through veins.

neuvillette merely chuckles as the earth beneath the shop trembles lightly.

though you return just in time to quell the impending earthquake, zhongli’s possessiveness flares through no fault of his own. dragons mate for life, and though he has the utmost trust in you, he does not trust the dragon from fontaine smiling so politely at you.

with his gaze narrowed so dangerously, he misses the amused look you cast up at him when his hand grasps your waist, securing you at his side.

“thank you for your patronage, monsieur, but we are now closed. safe travels back to fontaine.”

he doesn't bother waiting for a reply, dragging you away from the counter and into the back room as you try to look over your shoulder.

“thank you for coming, monsieur–”

zhongli presses his lips to yours before you can say his name, the hand not gripping your waist cupping the back of your neck as he crowds you against the wall.

there’s only one, foolproof way to mark you as his.

good thing he already has names picked out.

#zhongli x reader #genshin x reader #genshin fluff #zhongli x you #my first genshin crush who made me wait six whole months for his rerun 🫶

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