#cant bring her anywhere

[s1llycilantro]

havent posted on here in forever because i have chronic "start one piece get halfway through then begin another-itis" so. here's a bunch of wips ^_^

(ariana n mumbo is from "i am weary with contending" it fucks so hard GO READ IT.)

and the rest is aus. I have an actual drawing of scar lying around somewhere in my dms. not digging for that shit though.

[whispers-of-gallifrey]

Just watched Fury from the Deep and I love Victoria's exit so much it breaks my heart. She's so worn down by their travels always ending up full of danger and death and her always being put in the position of damsel in distress. She really doesn't want to leave jamie and the doctor but she doesn't want that life and I love that it let's her make that choice. And I love that Jamie's concerned she won't be happy living in, what is to them, the future but she acknowledges she's changed too much to go back to Victorian England, and she's highly unlikely to get back there anyway, not without more death and danger. That the doctor changes his mind about slipping away in the night and agrees to stay another day so Victoria can think about her decision properly without feeling as pressured. The fact that she knows the doctor won't say a proper goodbye because that's his way. The way she stands on the beach watching them row out to the tardis, knowing she'll never see either of them again. The fact she doesn't go back to the tardis with them to collect her belongings. Jamie's "I don't care where we go next" because he's miserable that Victoria made that decision. The Doctor's "I was fond of her too, you know" which is the closest he'll get to admitting how much he cares about them all. I just love it

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

waaaahhhh this is so cute :(

[silentalltheseyearsnomore]

In and out of constant crisis... to be expected. Its brutal. SO brutal.

There's a line though, where it is either pain being released and parts processing.. or just retraumatising. And the difference between what makes it one or the other can be so small! And usually to do with if we feel alone or not, connected to S or not, allowed to reach out or not.

Yet we are seeing we survive each time? And it passes. Same with S... we reconnect each time. She doesn't leave.

Today we made a huge leap! An email she sent landed badly. A part wrote a reply, not meanly at all (we never do that and are proud of our ability to communicate these days), but saying how it felt and how upset. But we didn't send... because we knew it wouldn't help. Its how they felt and it was real and valid. But she'd likely feel more defeated and stressed, then we'd feel more disconnected, and the same old cycle. (Also, we figured even IF it was intended how it felt.. we no longer beg for people to understand or care, and that has to be true for her too.) So we didn't send, and instead chose to trust our overall relationship instead of these moments and details.. and just turn up today as unguarded as humanly possible. Which was still hugely guarded lol.

It was SO hard to do. But I am so proud of us. And it went so well. It allowed us both to connect so much quicker and easier and see we are on the same side. We didn't hug her straight away like normal and just hid ourselves not looking at her, but as she started talking and we could hear there weren't bad intentions, we managed to lift a finger up and she reached for it and held our hand. And we were SO proud of us in that moment. It doesn't seem big. But for us it is huge. To be able to reach for connection without going through every detail of what hurt, ask a lot of questions, pick it all through, stay in defense... instead we just listened to how it felt right in that moment. And it allowed us to connect quicker. We made a new choice and it paid off.

She made a comment about us seeming to not want to be there, possibly hating her (kind of jokingly) and we realised that's how it may seem.. like to us it is OBVIOUS we never hate her, always want her. But then to her it is obvious how much she cares etc, and that doesn't mean we always see it. It softened so many protective parts and we looked up and we both smiled and we said of course we don't. It's just all painful. But the pain isn't from her, it's everything before her. And then cuddled in to her. It was so simple in that moment. We are on the same side.

And the whole session was so connecting and simple. Despite the fact we never talked through what happened earlier in the week really.. and despite it being one of the last sessions. It was just simple. The ending of therapy is terrifying but also helping us let go of details and see the big picture. She's SO on our side. We aren't on opposite sides. She's fighting a whole system for us. She's paying for her specialised supervisor she got just for us, even after we arent a client, to help us both through this transition and to help us fight the system as she's a very high up contact. She is thinking everything about this transition through so she doesnt rush things or make mistakes others did. She cares so much. So yeah, she's not perfect, she misses the mark, and she can't be everything we wish she could. But she is a human who wants us in her life and cares deeply and is fighting to get us the right support. We can get lost in all the pain or we can look at how lucky we are to have her.

[aberfaeth]

have any of you guys seen the shrew video

[perilegs]

ok but has a man ever told you you have a dainty rook piercing area? i don't think so 😌

[omegasmileyface]

ok im gonna put this in a seperate post so hopefully i can keep getting responses but I THINK, from what ive seen, that

a lot of people's perception of tenma's narrative purpose is fixed around him being a father. as in he's there to represent a failed, or imperfect, or distant father figure for atom. perhaps to contrast with ochanomizu.

(now bear in mind what im about to say is based off the 50s/60s and 80s series since those are the ones tezuka was directly involved with, and ive never seen the 60s anime or the japanese dub of the 80s anime. i have, however, read all of the original and 80s manga that are translated in the omnibus collection, and seen all of the 80s english dub that's available on tubi)

i personally always got the vibe that tezuka's intention with him had very little to do with him being a father. i mean obviously he is a father, and that's very important to the relationship he has to the creation of atom, but i think that part of his character- and most of his character to begin with- is pretty contained within origin story territory. he's an inciting character. (i saw a response on that post which said much the same thing btw!) if anything his fatherhood is important with respect to tobio. he makes atom, and raises him, because he wants to be a good father to tobio by "keeping him alive" after he died from his gift. (who the fuck gives a car to an 8 year old.) when he was treating atom as a kid, he had no intention of making himself into atom's father so much as making atom into his son. which, like, while it's a shitty thing for a father to do, it is a perfectly valid relationship for a character to have with fatherhood. I would say that at this point he's a (bad) father character. but by the time he sells atom to the circus, he doesn't care anymore. when he notices that atom isn't growing, he doesn't try to make him grow (presumably he'd be able to do that, or at least try! he did design the kid after all.) like a demanding, idealistic father, he instead just kicks him out and calls him a robot freak. he does NOT see atom as his son, not by this point. atom was not, to him, a bad son he was trying to turn into a son, he was a not-son he was trying to turn into a son, and he didn't pass the test. now he's just a freak. hoshie's atached, but tenma doesn't give a shit anymore. the robot he made didn't do its job, which was to masquerade as his son. now, for a while atom does see tenma as his father who abandoned him, but by the time ochanomizu rescues him from the circus, he's over it. tenma was just a period of his life, much like hamegg, and now he's moving on to a new one where he gets to go to school and hang out with funny old men.

it's worth mentioning the (english dub of the) 80s series (from what ive heard the japanese version is a little different? but i havent seen it yet) in which tenma does the same deal of trying to fit atom into being the perfect son, but when atom gets stolen (he's not sold in this one!) tenma is seen, deeply distressed and at least a little sorry, looking for him. but then, even when atom becomes sort of a public figure, tenma is never seen again. and atom doesn't mention him again (unless he does in the finale atlas episodes?? i dont remember that but it could have happened and i cANT CHECK BC THEY TOOK IT OFF TUBI AND I HAVE YET TO GET IT SOMEWHERE ELSE sobbing.)

but back to the manga, the vast majority of astro boy comics don't even mention tenma. they take place after, and do not call back to, his period of pretending atom was tobio. there are only a few comics where tenma makes a return (the blue knight saga, the greatest robot on earth, and that one with the bunny come to mind) and he generally says nothing about atom that implies he thinks of him as a son. barely even as a creation, really, mostly just some kid he knows. he tends to show up wearing sunglasses, when asked where he's been claimed to have denounced the world, offer some help (repairs, upgrades, etc) to atom and then leave. he might spy on him too but enh when asked, in the greatest robot, whether he wants to stay and meet uran and ochan, he denies the offer, insisting he still doesn't want a settled, public presence. he disappears back into the ether. atom sometimes shows signs of having missed him and being excited to see him again, but accepting how brief it is and the life he has now, kind of like you might get excited to see an uncle you don't hear from for a few years at a time.

the exception is the blue knight saga, in which he's treated way more as a villain than as a neutral backstory/cameo character. he's approached as "the one man who could repair atom from this... doctor tenma." and then he like tortures a guy to force him to use his time travel ability for his own gain (he also kills his future self i think. classic tenma move) and also, the main thing here, tries to take atom back and make him do evil for him. it backfires, and evil atom doesnt give a shit about tenma any more than he gives a shit about any other human (did... did tenma forget he's human?), but tenma's goal was control. i don't know if id call this a fatherhood plot. his main intention was, rather than treating atom as a son, to have atom under his power. again, while shitty parenting, not an invalid relationship for a character to have with fatherhood (cough cough vlad masters cough), but iirc it's sort of unclear whether his intention is to be a shitty father or to be the owner of a weapon. maybe both.

(the blue knight depiction of tenma is almost certainly the main inspiration for his role in the 2003 series. it perfectly reflects the "king of robots" plot, and his intention via shadow of having control over that king. the 03 series takes this version of tenma, where he's literally evil and wants atom under his thumb, and spreads it out so it's present throughout the whole series, rather than just this one plot out of many, and then adds an emotional angle of his relationship with tobio's death, and thus fatherhood, for the sake of adding complexity to his character)

and i think the 03 series and the way it uses this as a constant is the reason so many people see tenma's role as that of a (bad) father. in the 03 series he has SO MUCH more presence, and he absolutely is a father in that series. if you asked 03 atom about tenma he'd be like "tenma! my father! he's always trying to take me back in as his son but he doesn't realize that things have changed since tobio..." or whatever and if you asked 50s he'd be like "oh, my creator? he tried to raise me like his son once but that didn't work out. i see him from time to time but he seems to be up to his own stuff now." he's like morally-grey hamegg. like skunk but with a single failed adoption plot. (here's the tldr) and since so many current astro boy fans like the 2003 show as their main media, i can see why this concept would permeate down to the base idea of tenma in general. i fucking love the 2003 show! and i love what they did with tenma's character. but i feel like it's important to note that, with the exception of the blue knight arc, he is a wildly different character in that reboot than osamu tezuka wrote him to be. i feel like it's important to keep tezuka's message in mind, which from my understanding was a lot more personal/familial in his original work than in later reboots, and was more regarding the wider everyday trials and tribulations of trying to get organic and artificial life to get along.

ps id also like to mention the relationship between tenma and ochan. ochan also doesnt really care about tenma in the original works, and really only knows him as "that crazy minister before me who spent the whole budget on this good boy and then left him to rot". tenma only knows ochan as the guy who replaced him. i feel like a:tb's influence may have helped tenma feel more important (this time with regards to ochanomizu) than he might really be

[zhuhongs]

rip to my cousin and her friend for hating living here but that could not be me. i honestly love taipei. its great. like ik they cant go back home and didnt really volunteer to come but like... lol. die mad i guess

[throwbacktears]

when liv captioned her post in spanish i just KNEW people were going to comment that shes proud to be latina

and they did not disappoint .. !

she is literally half asian. filipino, specifically. and it makes me so, so sad that thats not more known about her.

[s0fter-sin]

even though ellie is immune, we see in the mall that infected still attack her and we know that they will rip people apart in an attempt to spread. a vaccine wouldn’t kill the existing infected or stop them from attacking. ellie would never be able to make a decision without the fireflies manipulating her into thinking she was selfish and killing people and turning her against joel by making her think the same about him and maybe even that she’s just a replacement for sarah. not to mention they would just use a vaccine as the ultimate trading tool to topple fedra and become the new world leaders which is what they really want. they were going to kill a little girl without telling her she was going to die on the off chance her brain could produce a cure. joel did the right thing

[lepidopterium]

!!!

[lesbienneanarchiste]

Idk how to tell my dad that I do not want my grandmother to come stay with us beyond the softball way I already have. For a WEEK?? A week??! He just spent 24 hrs with her and has been complaining for 40 minutes. I don't even like when people come over our house for a few hours nvm my grandmother who is a) very critical b) has nothing in common with me interest-wise and c) barely speaks English. Like maybe if the language barrier wasn't there it would be slightly improved but SOMEbody didn't teach me kriolu OR wolof when I was a kid and now wonders why I feel such a disconnect with his family.

[pan-gya]

my family watching me, at age 20, carry toys/plushies with me wherever i go: yeah that's normal behavior

[ars0nism]

shoutout to my mom for being annoyed with me being unable to ride a bike even tho the last time this happened was 7 years ago when i had broken my shoulder bc id fallen off a horse

[masonsystem]

seto................

[arolesbianism]

Frye will forever be a history nerd to me idc. You offhand wonder how long Judd has been around and you enter an unskippable cutscene