#cant tell me emotions don't play into it to a degree

[designedparadigm]

❛  how fast do you think i can make you come?  ❜ / @warhunts

   an  eye  roll  is  what  soap  gives  ghost  at  first,  before  affixing  him  with  a  blunt  stare,  a  single  brow  raising.  "dinnae."  he  says  it  loftily  -  as  if  he's  not  laid  out naked  before  the  man  he  wants  more  than  anything  else  in  the  world.  as  if  it  won't  take  record  timing  -  with  the  way  he  already feels. 

   "guess  yer  jus'  gonna  have  tae  try  it,  huh?"  a  smirk  curls  upon  his  lips,  a  smug  aura  overtaking  him.  he's  so  confident  now  -  but  it's  when  a  return  smirk  graces  ghost's  visible  lips  that  soap  freezes.  realizes  the  mistake  in  that  moment. 

   "hey  -  wait  -" 

   before  he  can  continue,  he  watches  as  ghost's  head  disappears  between  his  legs,  large  hands  holding  his  thighs  apart,  soap  leaning  himself  back  into  the  bed,  curling  his  fingers  into  the  sheets. shite. 

   the  first  thing  he  feels  is  warm  breath  tickling  him  -  and  he  jerks  back,  only  to  find  he  doesn't  move  very  far.  he's  very  much held  in  place  -  and  it  takes  his  breath  from  him.  he squirms  in  that  moment;  being  rewarded  by  a rich  chuckle. god  -  that  voice  alone  could  probably  talk  him  into  coming. 

   but  of  course;  that's  not  what  he's  being  faced  with.  something  he's  all  but shown  when  a  warm  tongue  swipes  across  his  clit,  sending  a  jolt  through  him  -  something  that  causes  his  mouth  to  open  and  a  loud  moan  to  come  passed  his  lips,  his  body  shuddering  against  his  will. 

   "yer  a  right  fockin  bastard,  ye  ken?"  soap  hisses  between  clenched  teeth  -  only  to  be  rewarded  with  ghost's  mouth  entirely  over  his  clit.  it's  quick,  the  way  there's  suddenly sucking  and  that tongue  attacking  at  him. 

   "shite  -  fockin  -  shite  -"  swears  pass  between  sharp  gasps,  soap  writing,  but  staying good  enough  to  keep  his  hands off  ghost.  he  can  do  that  much  -  he  has  that  control. 

   what  he  doesn't  have  control  over  is  the  way  it  all  builds  up fast.  he's  never  been  this incessant  or needy  with  himself.  he's  never  had someone  else  be  like  that  with  him.  he  regrets challenging  the  lieutenant  immediately.  it's  mere minutes  before  his  cries  reach  their  fever  pitch  and  he  reaches  what  he  can  only  call  an  earth  shattering  climax. 

   heat  rushes  through  him,  and  his  entire  body  jolts  and  writhes.  he's  not  aware  he's yelling  -  and  only vaguely  aware  of  the rush  of  fluids  that  escape  him.  he knew  he's  a  squirter  -  but  never  to that  degree.  he's  never  been  pushed  to  the  edge  that violently.  he  could  never  bring  himself  to  the  edge  and  over  it  like  ghost  just  did. 

   he's glad  for  the  respite  after,  when  ghost  pulls  off  of  him.  a  forearm  comes  to  rest  over  his  eyes,  soap  letting  heavy  pants  pass  him. god  damnit.  he  scolds  himself.  couldn't  hold  out  -  not  when  it's ghost. 

   "ah  ken  how  yer  lookin'  at  me  an'  ahm  tellin'  ye  tae  stop  now."  he  grumbles  it,  breathless.  "an'  if  yer  gonna  ask  me  whit  ah  learned  -  ahmn  gonna  tell  ye  shite  all.  dinnae  care."  his  lips  curve  upward  into  a  smirk.  "ain't  gonna  admit  tae  shite.  yer  gonna  have  tae  drag  it  oot."  with  that  he  raises  his  forearm  to  look  at  ghost,  a  defiant  teasing  look  glinting  in  mischevious  blues. 

  make  me  regret  sayin'  that,  lt.  yer  capable  of  it.  i  want  that  part  of  ye.

[youremyheaven]

Hi, I'm the Purva bhadrapada/ashlesha native from earlier and I wanted to add to the combo of nodals being attracted to yang energy. I also have a Leo stellium so that adds to it.

All of my friends/ex friends have prominent nodal energy, I have a similar dynamic with all of them in the way that they always look to me for guidance you could say? I've always been the emotional anchor, the therapist or the one that keeps their feet on the ground. My experience with them depends on if they have other energy prominent in their chart to ground them.

I have a double magha friend, but she has a Purva bhadrapada sun and moon conjunct Jupiter energy, similarly I have a magha sun, Swati rising friend but she has pushya moon conjunct Saturn. Their jupiter and saturnian energy keeps them from being too "hollow" or "void" in the sense that the ketuvian headlessness doesn't dominate their senses. They are both extremely anxious though and I'd attribute that to the rat yoni, since smaller yoni animals tend to be that way. Another Swati/Magha friend of mine always looked for my guidance in his creative pursuits, turned out he was in love with me too, so that just adds to the long list of nodals I've known that are attracted to yang energy.

On the other hand I have another magha sun, mula moon friend who doesn't have any other energy to really anchor her, and let me tell you she is probably the most unhinged person I've ever met. She, in comparison to the rest of my friends is always looking for my guidance/advice the most and for the longest time I was basically her 24 hours open therapist. It was the most emotionally and mentally draining friendship of my life and it was toxic for me so I had to cut contact with her. She was the epitome of ketu headlessness, no thoughts, head empty respectfully 😅

So yeah, if people don't have other energy in their charts I find it hard to have healthy relationships with them.

thank you so much for sharing your experiences. i feel like everytime i say nodals are attracted to yang energy specifically of Sun & Jupiter (because Sun is the source of light and Jupiter is by nature very giving and "boundless" and no other planet indulges Nodal behaviour this way- Venusians who only engage in mutually beneficial arrangements def wont, Mars people are not known for being accommodating or "giving", Moon is receptive and passive, Mercury is too trickster-y, Saturnians are too disciplined to tolerate the unhinged chaos of Nodal people so yeah that leaves us with Sun & Jupiter) and how draining Nodal people can be to these natives (speaking from my personal observations) people are quick to chime in "oh its bc men are trash, its not the naks" like honey boo boo i never said yang = men, im talking about planetary energy not gender dynamics. and ive literally watched it play out and i cant stand the chaos of these Nodal- Sun/Jupiter dynamics.

girlies will describe the most manic obsessive behaviour and ask "but my Sun/Jupiter person has no interest in me and does not give a flying fuck about me, idk why" and when I say its bc they feel drained by this type of behaviour they'll say "omg my Sun/Jupiter pursued ME, theyre OBSESSED with ME" idk if its being delusional or what but girl u literally just said they didnt gaf about u 😭maybe they were interested initially before they knew what it was like to be close to you and the minute they found out, they started distancing themselves. I've noticed the tendency to be delusional among Nodals and they always act like they're doing YOU a favour by unleashing their chaos on you. I knew a girl a long time ago who had Ardra Moon and Mula Rising who gave me random updates of the tiniest tidbits of her life and constantly overshared to a bizarre degree when it was absolutely clear i wanted nothing to do with her and one day she had the audacity to tell me that she was doing this because she thought i was lonely??? bitch what 😭😭 perhaps she genuinely thought she was helping me somehow and was offering me her company but she was completely deluded about how i "needed" her companionship or whatever bc i would act so cold and disinterested like girl can u not take a hint 😭

sorry Nodals but one thing I cannot stand about imbalanced Nodals who have no other planetary energy to balance them is how they completely lack self awareness and are absolutely delusional about how others see their behaviour

another Ardra stellium girl I know had a spam account on IG where she had like 30 followers and THOUSANDS of posts, she literally posted every spare thought she had in her head, including really embarrassing and completely personal details about her life and i told her i was concerned because others could see this info and use it against her and she told me that her "followers want her to be a vlogger" because she's "so entertaining" like bbg people find Trisha Paytas interesting, does not mean she isn't unhinged

[compassionatereminders]

hi kat, i want to ask about an outsider's view on things concerning my partner and i. i feel like i lean a lot on my friends during times like these and i dont want to bother them again anymore, currently, about these issues.

my partner and i recently have been fighting a lot, about mundane things, usually stemming from me being pushed a little. i do agree that i may be a little too sensitive about certain things, and sometimes i become selfish. my familial relationships are rooted in emotional abuse so i had been closed off my whole life. sometimes i drop everything on him about things and he has his limits. this is because i often feel like if he likes me he will do anything for me even though theyre out of line.

his part of the family isnt great either, he had been exposed to physical abuse disguises as love afterwards, and he wants to leave as soon as he finishes his degree.

we have broken up before, due to miscommunication, he wants to sleep things off before talking and i take that as a personal insult when i cant help my emotions, i want to solve things before bed. however we have compromised sometimes, and things have been great.

the thing is i am half positive that we are often fighting recently due to us missing each other, we havent met each other in a month now, and it is the longest we have not seen each other in person. however, since he is still staying at his parents' house and hes not allowed to leave for trips unannounced unless he wants to get the consequences, we havent been able to cope well this vacation period.

i never mean to start a fight but recently everytime i say my feelings he has an issue with it. one time we had a plan to watch moviws together online, so i asked him to set a plan. and he did, however he turned up 35 minutes late and it greatly upset me. he informed me after we cooled down that he had been lectured by his parents and he couldnt message me during it. i understand that i had a fault in not perceiving things a lot, however i think the whole fight could have been avoided if he apologized and told me immediately afterqards the reason why. he had told me that i was too sensitive about it and that it wasnt his fault. i had let it pass because i do think its also true, given that i myself am also late sometimes.

yesterday, we had spent the day together playing online games and watching movies. however, by the time it was nightfall, i had felt down and i told him that i feel like the love i had received for the day wasnt enough and that i dont mean it as an offense to him. he said he loved me a lot the whole day and i should think back and cherish the moments we had. i dont even rememver what happened after that but we got into a huge fight, i just feel like i want some love and he should have just given it? instead of trying to tell me that im being ungrateful, because i dont think i am, i appreciated the whole day i just wanted to be cuddled to bed too, and i feel like we didnt connect a lot. he said i can never be content and will always want more than he can give, and then he had slept.

i understand that im sometimes asking for too much, but then again. i cant helo it sometimes and i dont mean to. i also dont want to accidentally start a fight every single time i feel a negative emotion.

i dont know what is happening to us and i just want someone to shine a light on what is happening. sorry for the long ask, i hope you have a good day. thanks for listening

There are no obvious red flags here in the sense that I don't get the impression that you OR your partner is doing something inherently abusive towards the other. But it seems like you both have your fair share of emotional issues and related trauma, and that you have a tendency to talk past and trigger each other. And the key to resolve it isn't in you forcing a discussion when he's asking for space, just like he doesn't get to just tell you to feel differently when you communicate unmet needs. So you have to decide whether there is still something worth fighting for in this connection, and then you both have to be willing to work on yourself and compromise and communicate. Because maintaining a relationship is hard work, especially during less than ideal circumstances, and whether you're both able to put in the work it would take to change this pattern is worth thinking about

[lets-talk-spirituality]

OKAY SO I USUALLY CANT STAND PEOPLE ANALYZING HIS LYRICS BUT YOUR GRAPEJICE ANALYSIS WAS ACTUAL GENUIS

I’m a literature major and it’s seriously more brilliant than anything my profs could come up with I swear

PLEASE DO MORE

ANY H SONG PLEASE

Thank you! I have my degree in English and just love analyzing things for deeper meaning. How to read literature like a professor was so impactful to me.

Any H song? How about Cinema? So much symbolism

You got, you got the cinema

Cinema, as in something to watch, a movie, you got that thing, movie magic, “a movie that feels like a movie” (I had to guys)

It's you, And I'm not gettin' over it, Darlin', is it cool, If I'm stubborn when it comes to this?

Make no mistake, he’s set on you, he’s stubborn on them being the one for him. Stubborn (cough cough fixed Aquarius energy looking ass, also hark back to him being stubborn in SC), darlin “darlin can’t you see I long to be with you all the time” Same person? Same muse?

I guess we're in time, If you're getting yourself wet for me, I guess you're all mine, You're sleeping in this bed with me

In time, so there’s some discussion around whether or not their love or the timing has come too late “you’re just in time, make your tea and your toast” (another reason I think elements of Matilda speak to more than family)

Hmmm “she sleeps in his bed” she’s only his in dreams, notice how he says all mine, a little possessive streak 🥵 you is his when they are together “I’m not worried about where you are or who you go home to” because you’re mine when we’re together in dreams

I just think you're cool, I dig your cinema, Do you think I'm cool too? Or am I too into you?

Awww he’s nervous, this is just cute and talking about when you feel so much for someone you don’t know how to act

Tell me what you want and you got it, love, I want all of you, gimme all you got, That's cinema, That's cinema, uh-huh

“I want you!” MFASR “come on jump out at me, come on bring everything” SG, he’s saying… bring all your insecurities, fears, I want it all, I want to spread you open, that’s magic.. cinema as in a great love movie, giving each other everything, that’s what makes a great love

It's you, Don't know why, but it feels so right to me

He’s confused about this person but it feels right “it just feels right” he can’t explain whatever it is but he doesn’t care because it feels right

Something in the way you move, I like it when you dance for me (I just think it's-)

Dance for him, hmmm I think this could be where it starts to show to me this is a wet dream or a fantasy, he’s picturing them dancing for him maybe to his music, he’s trying to talk to them, he just thinks it’s what? No words “I’m still tongue tied”

You all the time (time, time), In doses at night (night, night)

So this person all the time “I can’t get you off my mind” but also only in doses, how in doses and all the time, well I think he gets doses of them at night in his dreams but he feels them all the time, doses… of medicine? Hmm

No roof on the drive, Dust off the high, and go to sleep

This feeling makes him feel so high, he has to bring himself down so he can sleep, that’s why I think this is a fantasy or wet dream, maybe it wakes him up, like waking up and your emotions are all stirred and you have to calm down to go to sleep

Do you think I'm cool, too? Or am I (cinema) too I bring the pop to the cinema You pop when we get intimate (baby, you're cinema)You got, you got the cinema

The repetitiveness, doses “I go round and round” am I cinema too “he plays pretend” you’re cinema, this thing that seems real, that I can watch, but can’t touch “now I know what it’s like to fall in love from the outside” he brings the pop, he shakes it up, the spark to this distance, he wants to bring them this, they are the cinema, he wants to bring the spark to this lovely thing he watches but can’t touch “I can see you’re lonely down there” but he can only bring it to them when they get intimate in doses at night. They are cinema but they also got the cinema, this thing that draws him in.

**note the cinema scene in LNT MV**

[lostinlogan]

Ok, we're a bit of a standstill here.

Damn its been an interesting week.

Like I really cant even lie its not even been that much spice but from where we were of getting NO PLAY whatsoever, to like , having two girls show even just the slightest bit of interest is like incredible, for me. And its been good because I can se the work that I've put in. Like I was in an uber with this girl for like 20 min and I was funny, listening, was able to hold a conversation, DRIVE the conversation and these are all skills that I didn't have had like two, three, five years ago. All of the internal monologues that ive had with myself while listening and analyzing the speech patterns of people that I've identified as good communicators has to a certain degree paid off. I wont share too many details here but I recently joined this group that meets once a week. I've been goign for about 4 weeks but my friend that i know from outside of the group joined this week for the first time and while they were talking to another member of the group I guess i cam up intheir conversation and I received a compliment about my openness and personality from a group member. Like my reputation has preceded me in a positive way which is BIG jump from just like being another no-name in the background. So I was a little proud of that.

So again, two women, in the same week have showed an interest in me, the problem now is that I'm not really sure if I want them, not even want them but want the weight of a girlfriend. This is the problem with like learning and growing and becoming a better communicator as a man its that understanding the weight of being a good boyfriend or even friend for that matter like actually is. I know what it takes to be a good partner and it take s a lot of work and communication and I"m not sure that's something I want to do right now. Or maybe its not something I want to do for these two women, I'm not sure.

My dilemma is that yes, I want to have a physical and emotional relationship but I don't really want to put in the work to make that happen, partly because I'm really happy with my own personal growth right now and don't want to mess that up but also because I don't see myself long term with either of these people and it feels wrong to like put on the good guy act when I know deep down there's really no weight behind it.I don't really have good long term intentions. But like is that so wrong??

I want like a friendly hookup. I want to find friends really but partners that I respect and care for but also am able to hook up with? i think that is actually normal and fine but the problem is ME, I AM BOYFRIEND MATERIAL BUT I WANT TO BE A SLUT. How do I become a slut without falling into the male manipulator andrew tate mold? Like in the Uber i was telling this girl about my job and what I don=, personally I donthtink its that impressive but Its good money and more than a lot of other people make and like.. her eyes just like up, like she had just found the one and I don't like the feeling of being projected on like that. And she was cool and fun and had a good personality but if that's where this relationship is heading then I do not want any parts of that.

LOL, my brand is earnest good guy because I think that's what comes naturally to me and its something I enjoy. Listening to the stories and perspectives of women has actually been such an enriching experience and has added such a depth of color to my own life. And in the partner that I find, i want to continue to do that but I just don't want the be center of those stories. Sometimes I find myself on the peripheries of peoples life and I tend to like it there, or I've become just become accustomed to it; rearguards its a place that I feel comfortable in.

OK but will say, I've been working on he body, been in the gym, getting the diet (almost) entirely locked in and that been rewarding in itself but i think it will help me get to my goal of reaching the hookup culture that everyone else is talking about. Like if I can get in physical shape get to what i consider to be sexy, then I fell like all the other stuff is true , but i feel like people will start projecting Slut instead of steady, hallmark boyfriend. But yes, your mom will love me and I will love her back.

[eva-420]

It's kind of frustrating seeing your posts in here because you want people to tell you if they like you, but then if they're not mutuals you'll be weirded out by it, but then if they tell you on anon you say you don't view them as real people telling you that cause you can't relate them to a name. You get a lot of anons saying they like you, so I think that's proof that you must be lovable to some degree (unless you've carefully perfected your tumblr persona to hide your villainous personality)

i am desperate for validation, attention, and affection and this very clearly stream of consciousness microblogging website is how i’ve chosen to vent my excess thoughts and emotions so i do not drown in them 

getting a lot of anons is nice but there is definitely a disconnect that like. really any online communication creates but especially anonymous online communication, i cant really help you with that. that’s not even just me that’s like a known and recorded psychological phenomenon 

 and its not so much that i would be weirded out by a nonmutual telling me they have a crush on me, like it is definitely flattering; my problem is that it then sets up an imbalanced social playing field. it becomes impossible to have feelings grow organically because there is Expectations. they have established the fact they are Interested and so it becomes this painful race against the clock of figuring out if i am also Interested in a manner and time frame that doesn’t Lead Them On 

i don’t have an answer for you anon. especially the post i made on the subject this evening was intended to be a joking expression of my own frustration at my lack of social skills and avenues, and to playfully poke fun at this exact  thing that i guess i had to spell out point by point 

[kookingtae]

I've been a big fan of your blog for a long time and I've seen that you give your personal thoughts about anything we ask you so I really need your personal thoughts about this: I think I like my friend’s boyfriend and I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to be a bitch and make them fall apart because of me. I know him for about 3 years and I don't know if it's love or my mind is playing tricks on me. Oh and I must say that's the first time I like someone. Apart of that your blog is amazing.

wow, this is definitely a tough situation O.O of course you cant help who you like bc the heart wants what the heart wants, so im sorry that the first time you like someone ended up being someone off limits :/ honestly theres nothing you can really do in this situation other than try to get over him. you dont want to break your friend’s relationship up, and even if they ever break up on their own, its kind of not cool to go date him right after….. unless you and your friend arent really close? idk your degree of friendship here, but if its your best friend, i’d say dating the boy is definitely a line that cant be crossed if you dont want to upset your friend. even if she tells you shes over him, it could still be weird.

i was once in a kind of similar situation…. i was at a house party my freshman year of college (it was small, say about 20 ppl) and my friend (who i wasnt that close to but we had the same friend group and she was always nice to me) was drunk and crying bc of her ex that she still wasnt over. now their relationship had ended before i met her but i had heard the whole story, they dated for a little over a year, he randomly broke up with her bc he didnt want to be in a relationship anymore.

anyways, so halfway thru the night i was tipsy and super friendly (bc i open up and get super friendly when im drunk lol) and there was this super cute guy who walked into the room that i was in and started talking to the person next to me. so obviously i jump in on the conversation bc im drunk and friendly, and the boy and i started going back and forth with witty banter that lasted for a while bc he ended up pulling up a chair and sitting with us. then after a while he left and went back in the other room, and then sometime later in the night i found him again (a coincidence bc he was playing super smash bros with my other friend) and i sat down and joined their game. TOTALLY BEAT HIS ASS MULTIPLE TIMES BTW EVEN THO HES SUPPOSED TO BE REALLY GOOD AT IT AND IT WAS MY FIRST TIME PLAYING, but anyways. we talked and laughed and flirted for the rest of the night and i was really attracted to him.

end of the night comes, he’s already left, im giving my friend a ride home and he brings up my friend who was crying over her ex and how her ex was there. and i was like ??!?!! WHAT???? WHO WAS HER EX???? bc i genuinely had no idea. and then my friend describes the exact boy i had been flirting with all. night. long. O.O i was shocked, floored and felt terrible bc im sure she saw us since she was in the same room when i first met him. and i was SUPER DISAPPOINTED bc i was genuinely attracted to him in more than just a “oh im tipsy and youre kinda cute” type of way. and i couldnt stop thinking about him after the party. he added me on fb a few days later and mY HEART FUCKING SPED UP??? WTF???? i never act like that, which is how i knew this guy was special. but i was also torn bc he was my friend’s ex.

needless to say, i didnt make the right decision. he messaged me and i caved and we started talking, hanging out, kissing. after a couple months or so he said that the direction we were headed seemed like a relationship, and he wasnt ready for that. and he broke it off with me ;( thats been the one guy that i was ever super into, and before/since him im basically a robot whos void of emotion with guys (BTW THIS WAS ALL BEFORE BTS so they basically broke my dry spell of liking anyone and now im in love with jungkook and cant give anyone else the time of day 😭😭😭)

but anyways, the point of telling you this story is bc even tho i wasnt that close to my friend whose ex he was, and they werent even dating at the time, she still held a lowkey grudge against me and apparently called me a “boyfriend stealer” one night when she was drunk LOL. i cant tell you what to do in this situation, but i can tell you that if you try to go for your friend’s bf, it probably wont end well