#car reant

[rideon199]

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[blizzardfluffykpop]

Sorry to bother you buy I have latterly no friends to reant to them.

Okay so I got in a fight with my dad and he's basically kicking me out I could move out I would but I don't make enough money to do so it's hard to get a second job rent is so expensive and I won't be able to afford it between that and my other bills I also have two cats and In some places, they don't allow pets or they charge you more for each pet so I don't know what to do at this point (I pay rent at my parents and help them pay a few bills as well but it's not the same as living with on my own) now I don't know what to do my dad also told me I was a burden to him and that he can't wait to have me move out. I'm on my own I don't have a friend or a family member to lean on and I can't talk to my parents since they have made up their minds

No pls don't worry about that please feel free to come to me about this whenever, okay?

Now I'm going to give you as much advice as I can and I know you just wish to talk about it- so I'll do that first and then I'm going to give you all kinds of advice I've learned from fellow abused kids who have successfully moved out and never went back. Okay?

I won't dig into my situation because this is about you my dear. But I have a vv similar situation. And I'm at constant "war" with mine too- and I can't afford to move out either. So tbh I'm not completely sure how to talk about this because of how close it is to home for me? Because one hand I wish to say fuck it let's move out doesn't matter how much we struggle it's better than being at home. And in that sense- either way we're paying. We pay with our mental states and emotional labor. But on the other hand- ik my lived reality doesn't matter how much I fight with mine that I'll still stay until I have enough saved for my cat and I to move out. But I don't want the same for you.

It is so hard to get a second job in this job market- esp with all the fake job postings. And rent is terribly expensive. But you will have to find somewhere (even if it charges more) for your kitty-cats. My dad has told me even when I had two jobs and was paying for everything- I was a burden. So please know, that no matter how much you give of yourself or your wallet- he'll still call you that. And I'm so sorry. My father can't wait til I move out either. Please feel free to lean on me and talk to me about it. I don't have family outside of my two parents- so I understand that. But I thankfully- after years of struggling- have friends. And while our situations aren't exactly the same (no situation is) I wish for you to come to me about them. You can do it anonymously/in chat- wtv- I'm here for you bubba. I'm sorry that your parents have made up their minds. But you need to protect yourself and your cats.

Don't give up- don't let them win that way. Keep fighting keeping going. I believe in you full heartedly- find somewhere you wish to be. And run after it- Don't ever look back. Once you move out don't go back.

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I'm going to list a few things then dig into em about the things you need to think about for renting/paying bills. (Outside of the cats cause I'm sure you can figure that out). But these are tips I've learned.

Going to estates you know that rent and aren't online will be cheaper.

Find somewhere that pays utilities.

You don't need to pay hospital bills- (if you live in the usa) but you will have to pay routine checkups if you choose to do so. (Preventative care/medicine saves you more money than you know)

You need a line of credit if you don't already have one.

Call every company you pay money to- to lower all your bills- fight with them and get it lower.

Second job if this already isn't your first- is a waiting tables/bartending/pizza place- wherever place accepts tips- you want to work it.

With the extra tip money (I don't mean money you need to survive) put it into a high yield savings account.

If you have a car- worse comes to worst- you'll live in it. If not- we'll dig into this too. And how to get one for cheap.

Worst point is saved for last: You shut yourself in your room until your shift comes around, leave- do not engage with the rage machine outside of 'hi goodbye' and return to home and save money that you can (which will prolly be your reality for a little)

Firstly, I'm not sure if you're over 18- I hope you are. And if you are over 21- you'll have better chance at landlords wanting to rent to you. If no to the second- it's going to be so much harder for you. And I'm sorry bubba. But what I suggest is you look into the local housing bureau. They do have planning and you could get somewhere with your income and their help. But if that is too scary! I will tell you this now- you will not find affordable housing on Zillow (or wtv) because most older landlords don't know how to use tech and you'll find the cheapest places to rent by going door to door at rental places (places you know rent). Or if you see a sign that says 'call this number to rent' call it- they're always cheaper. Now I do live in small town- I don't know if this is true for all places. But I'm trying to give you viable options.

Try to find somewhere that pays for the utilities. If they pay for the utilities you won't have to worry about the electricity/water being shut off. You do not want to be without electricity and you def do not want to be out of water. Because no water, means no cooking, no showers, no nothing. You need that more than electricity. (Make sure you have a candle or two just in case btw)

Now if you live in the united states- there was this bill passed that doesn't require you to pay back hospital bills they will look like they count against your credit score- they don't. Do not avoid going to the hospital. But routine checkups/personal doctors are kind of out of the question. Because you have to pay those docs back. Or else you can't return to them. Preventative care/medicine best option. Buy cough syrup/ibuprofen/pain killers (always have a meal/snack before each :))

Speaking of credit & credit score. You need a credit card/credit line- yes- you are paying bills but if I'm understanding correctly- they are bills under your parent's name so you will not have a credit history. Put in for a credit card or no one will rent to you. For me I put a purchase on it once a month and pay it off completely before the due date. [Now you can get a car without a credit score if you are going to do it the person-to-person way* We will dig into this- But I sincerely hope you have a car unless you live in a metropolitan area.]

But whatever bills they make you pay at home; you will no longer have to pay them, I promise. And if you are paying your own cellphone bill, I want you to call them if you see an ad for '19.99 a month' or something like that. And ask them to lower it down to that- I know for a fact you can fight with Verizon and eventually (they don't want to lose customers) they'll lower it. Okay? And like if you don't watch tv- you don't need to pay for cable. Just do the bare minimum until you can afford things.

(Also I really wish you didn't have to pay rent at your parents, you should be able to save it to move out. But since that isn't possible- I want you to save every dollar you possibly can* and it's def not the same as living on your own.)

Anyways this works for all bills :) But if you go thru with moving out. I want you to fight for every dollar you can. How are you gonna do that? You're gonna call up the companies that you pay for. Just like Verizon (or phone company) you're going to tell them you want a lower price- it may take a couple hours on the phone- but it'll save you sm money.

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Next- the problem of second jobs… For a while I worked two- I still couldn't move out with that but that was partly on me cause I didn't look- so I took the higher paying job and put in as many hours as I could. To avoid coming home and dealing with mine. Now suggesting what I'm suggesting can put you at risk. Why? Because you could come home to all your stuff outside and you can't keep your eyes on your cats as much. And personally I don't trust mine with my cat at all. But it saves you the burden of having to deal with them but work problems. But it could stress you out bad. (You need to find an outlet for that too).

Now personally imo, you should get a job that allows you to earn tips- it will be a cheaper pay- but remember you're going to be scraping by- but if you a saccharine sweet- and butter customers up- you'll be raking in the tips. You compliment them to hell and back- you do everything in your power to make these people "fall" for you. It sounds awful- and it kind of is. But it'll make you more money faster. (Ik because I used to) And do not- and I repeat DO NOT- keep your tips where-- if you are still living at home-- where they can find em. I mean the second you earn those you put them in the bank. You don't let them know you've earned any. Okay? Okay.

*What I want you to do with extra spare tip money (not the tip money you are using to survive) is get a high-yield savings account on top of the bank account you have. Okay? So, you search up Raisin.com. You will click on the high-yield savings account selection, and you put money into the highest paying one at that time. I bank tech with Ponce Bank thru Raisin.com. Why do I suggest this? Because while you add maybe 10 bucks to it every week to two weeks past the initial deposit- it's making additional money on top of it. Unlike your bank account that makes .06% on your dollar (effectively losing money). You can get like 5% on your dollar- and it will increase your dollar faster- it'll be a bit before you see results. But having that extra money that's making money for you with no real work? You'll notice the difference. Why do I suggest it- you'll have more pocket money to buy things that bring you joy. Okay? For example one I have- has like 650+ in it- and it earns me 2 dollars every month- which isn't a lot- but that's money you normally wouldn't have if you didn't.

For the car thing without credit. You buy it from a person, this could be off of facebook marketplace or in person you see someone selling a car. You check it out you make sure the transmission isn't making noise when you shift. You check the battery and make sure no acid is leaking from it (blue around the terminals) you make sure it has no funny smells. Like vv sweet near the raditior is antifreeze leak. You don't want nothing that's bad- that'll just cost you more money. You make sure nothing is leaking on it. Only thing that should leak is air coolant for when the air conditioner runs through the car. Okay? Anyways- Car Gurus is what my friend got her nicccceeee car from it's like 2018? And it only costed her three grand and she did a payment plan on it. *Which is also a way to form credit~* Just know you don't need credit for cars but you do for landlords. (Never buy one from a car lot btw- if you must go to the actual company (ford, chevy, prisus) it's cheaper that way because lots raise the prices like crazy)

What will negatively impact your credit score is missing payments. Try not to- but if you do- just explain your situation to the company and they can give you leeway, okay?

All of these things seem so silly and extremely hard to do- but please hear me out- if you do them- you'll have a higher success rate. Why? Because I know so many people who have escaped their abusive households. I learned from the best. I just haven't been able to figure out where I wish to live until recently. And that's why I haven't moved out. (and another personal reason but) Please know you're not alone, you never are even if it feels like you are. You aren't.

BIG LAST POINT:

And DO NOT I repeat DO NOT move into somewhere with someone you DO NOT KNOW. (This sounds so fucked up) But because you and I are from the type of households we are- we're likely to fall in love with someone that feels like 'home' if someone feels like 'home' RUN. It is better to be on your own struggling to afford a meal than with someone who feels like your parents. Do not move in with someone you don't know for at least two years. I've heard so many horror stories. Please stay safe, there are horrible people out there who will remind you of 'home'. Trust your gut no matter what. There will be people who will make you feel safe and that is not the same feeling. I promise.

The first person who made me feel safe was the craziest feeling- because it took until this year for my guard to finally be fully let down around them. And it's not because they felt like home- they feel the opposite. They feel like 'this is what home was supposed to feel like' because they care about me. And you'll know what I mean when you meet someone like that, okay? Please don't let anyone who feels like home be in your life. It will only cause you harm. Friendship/love feel uncomfortable to us because we're not used to it. And that's the kind of feeling you'll grow to love. Don't be comfortable with bad people.

It takes two years to heal for your body to go out of fight or flight- you'll be healing for the rest of your life. But you cannot heal yourself where you're constantly being hurt. So if it's not now that you move out but in the future. Just know healing takes time, good people are worth the uncomfortablity. And bad people your gut will know- listen to it. If someone feels like home to your gut- that's not home. Until you are healed do not trust that home-y feeling.

So please- reach out to me- and we'll get thru this! Because this not our forever- this is not our destiny to be with them. We are meant to live happier lives outside of the hell we grew up in. Don't ever forget that. Your cats and you are going to live a much better life when you leave that house with good money.