big--girls---dont-cry

[arthur-lesters-uvula]

Pisscourse drabble inspired by this

Not beta or proofread, btw. it's a shitpost EDIT: AO3 LINK

Arthur was simply trying to take his natural human function and pee. He was staring off into space, letting the fluid flow out of him and into the bowl when he felt something touching his leg. Instinctively, he jolts, moving his body away.

He stops peeing and looks down. He spots a hand, a fair skinned scard hand reaching out to him. It was John, what in the hell does he want. Arthur bats the hand away and asks.

"What, John?"

"...Can you hold my hand." It sounded like more of a demand than a question.

Arthur blinks, looking at the stall wall that separates him and John.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Why."

"It's...scary and feels werid, I don't know how you humans dealt with having this fluid come out of you every day." John says and flexes his hand in a grabbing motion, like a baby wanting to get picked up.

John was like a needy cat, but he never liked doing things alone, including when it came to using the bathroom.

Arthur sighs and places his hand in John's, holding it snug.

"Better?"

"Much."

John says before Arthur hears a concerningly loud stream of piss hit the bowl.

He furrows his brows, "Just how long have you been holding that?"

John's pointer finger twitches, curling itself inward and scratches at the others palm.

"Since I got this body -" a lie.

John sheepishly admits, and Arthur aggressively squeezes his hand.

"What?! How the hell did you not piss on yourself—christ John it's been over a week."

John lets out a full-body shudder and tucks his feet under the toilet seat. His boots dig into the dirty tile floor.

"Okay - not really. The first time was a few days ago when it hurt too much to hold. I washed the clothes and succeeded." John spits out. It was more of a half truth when Oscar found him using fabric softener instead of actual detergent. Oscar actually helped clean and showed him how to wash the clothes properly.

John made(threatened)Oscar swear that he'd never speak a word of this.

"Am I going to have to fucking potty train you? Bloody hell John."

John lets out a werid, sad sound. Something between a dog like whimper and a sigh.

Arthur squeezes his hand once more, gently this time. "Well, it was probably bound to happen eventually. Just do your business and make sure you wipe yourself after." Just like his touch, the tone of Arthur's voice was soft. It reminded John of how he'd talk about Faroe.

John hums and stays silent, the sound of his piss hitting the water echo throughout the bathroom.

Arthur inturn also continues. Thankfully, there's not much left, so he finishes up quickly.

Awkwardly reaching across the stall with his opposite hand, he grabs a thing of toilet paper and rips a small peice off. He dabs the head of his dick with the paper before throwing it into the bowl and flushing.

He hears Johns flow turn into a tirckle before it stops completely. He stays on the toilet seat as he's still holding onto John's hand.

"You done?"

John nods, for a second forgetting thst Arthur can, in fact, not see him before he speaks up.

"I think so? I still feel weird, though..." He trails off. There's something pressing up against his asshole.

Arthur quirks a brow, "Werid how?"

"It feels like something is trying to escape me. There's pressure at my asshole."

Arthur stutters for a second, unable to form sentences in response. There is no way in fucking hell is he going to hold an eldritch entities hand as he shits.

"You're...going number two, taking shit."

"Oh.. Oh. Like that disgusting thing you did?"

"Yup. Now, I unfortunately am not generous enough to sit through this one with you. Just keep pushing until everything is out, John."

Arthur prys his hand away from John's, pulling his boxers and trousers up. Arthur buttons his trousers and fastens his belt.

"But Orthur... I can't do this alone." John whines, attempting to grab Arthur's trouser leg.

"You can, and you will. I'll be outside when you're done, John." Arthur moves away before John could grab him, opening the stall door he makes his way to the sink. He secretly prays that there's no one else coming in.

"Orthur! That's not fair. I need emotional support."

John kicks his feet out and leans back uncomfortably. The pressure is growing stronger.

Arthur begins to wash his hands, ignoring John's pleas and hums a tune.

"How about I send Noel in, hm? I'm sure he'd be more than willing." Arthur offers, John and Noel are close just like them, so it shouldn't be a problem. Hopefully.

John stops his movements, sharp canines bitting at his lips.

"Okay. That's fine. Please tell him to hurry."

Arthur huffs out a muffled laugh and steps out of the bathroom.

thank you to my platonic soulmates @arthur-lesters-tits & @arthur-lesters-slutty-waist for fuelling this. I appreciate you both greatly

[thebawdybaldurian]

Kinktober Day Five: Rutting/Heat

Went a little long with this one but I love nothing more than primal Halsin giving it to his spouses. A little bonus teasing at a new pairing as well, Tav’s mother Saera and a much young tiefling. Lightly proof read and may be missing a few content tags 🐻

Content and Warnings: oral sex, primal sex, anal sex, breeding kink, cum talk, outdoor sex, predator/prey, rutting/heat cycles, mild piss kink, brief mentions of vomit and excrement, PIV sex, knotting, partial wild shape sex.

Pairings: Astarion x Halsin, Halsin and Femme Tav solo, Tav x Halsin

Tav was trying to mend her relationship with her mother by accompanying her from Baldur’s Gate to Reithwin, where she would finally be moving to.The wizard, Rolan had generously offered some of the furnishings from Ramazith Tower to Saera, considering that they’d already made love atop most of it. Tav had only agreed to the trip if her mother and new young lover kept the public displays of affection to an absolute minimum. That promise didn’t last long, as they began making out in the front seat of the wagon before they even got to Rivington. Tav lay reclined on one of the couches in the back, still hiding her early pregnancy from her mother for the moment.

Tav could hear their giggles and whispers even above the rumble of the wagon and tried to plug her ears, until they hit a large bump in the road that nearly made her retch from her morning sickness. “Just because an Unseen Servant can drive a wagon, doesn’t mean that it should!” Tav yelled, leaning over the back of the wagon, preparing to see her breakfast again. “Can’t you keep your eyes off one another for more than two seconds?!”

“Sorry, dear!” Saera called back, banishing the servant and taking the reins again. “Rolan and I…were just both looking at the map.

“Mapping each other’s mouths, more like it,” Tav muttered, conquering her nausea for a moment, before one of the oxen left a mudpie in its wake. She hurled over the back of the wagon, leaving a pile of scrambled eggs and toast to accompany the pie.

“Are you sick, Clataedre?” Saera called back again.

“It’s just…motion sickness,” Tav lied, rinsing her mouth with a water flask. “I’ll get used to it.”

“I’m sure Rolan can make you a tincture or something?”

“Halsin gave me something, but it makes me sleepy…and I don’t trust you two not to careen this thing off a cliff with the way you carry on.”

Rolan said something that made her mother giggle and their lips began smacking loudly again, though they managed to keep an eye out for bumps.

Back at home, Halsin and Astarion were managing the twins by themselves, currently in the throes of privy training the toddlers. Shan kept attempting to poop outside and bury his waste like Wisp the cat did and Ava insisted on being carried to and fro her elegantly carved potty chair. “Gods, I miss not having to deal with shit,” Astarion sighed, holding his nose as he dumped the contents of Ava’s chair into the regular toilet. “Sure, the liquid diet was bland…but…the smell,” he gagged.

“I’m still amazed at the things that can come out of that little girl,” Halsin laughed, druidcrafting some heavily-scented flowers.

“Thank you, darling,” Astarion smirked at Halsin as he tickled them under his nose. “How do you think our own rose is fairing on the road without us?”

“I’m sure her and her mother are already arguing about something,” Halsin replied, giving Astarion a long kiss. “Mmmmm,” he growled, letting his tongue linger in Astarion’s mouth longer than usual. “You taste good this afternoon.”

He kissed down Astarion’s neck, nuzzling into the lacing of his undershirt. “You smell good too…”

“Settle down, Daddy Bear, the kids are still awake,” Astarion purred, hearing the hunger in Halsin’s voice.

“But due for a nap soon,” Halsin replied, giving his ass a tight squeeze.

This pregnancy was his turn at having sympathy symptoms, which included an increased libido. With Tav away from the house for a few days, Astarion was hoping Halsin could be contained to only a few ruts per day. “Shall we employ the cottage again this time?” Astarion asked, wondering what Halsin was in the mood for.

“If we can make it that far,” Halsin bit his lip, nipping Astarion’s ear lobe. “I need you…as soon as possible…”

“Kids…I think it is time for your afternoon nap!” Astarion announced, gently nudging Halsin away before he became prematurely aroused. “Daddy Bear is going to work in the garden a little to let off some steam, so I’ll come read you a story.”

“I want mommy to weed us a stowy!” Ava pouted, already missing her mother’s presence.

“Mommy isn’t here, princess, so you will have to make due without the shadow puppets and funny voices,” Astarion sighed, giving Halsin a wink.

“She’ll be back soon, we promise,” Halsin headed towards the door to the garden. “Though possibly not soon enough,” he said quietly to himself.

Halsin let out a hungry growl as he walked across the path to the cottage, feeling the beast inside clawing to get out. He began to strip, letting the sun shine on his bare skin, which became a bit hairier. He splayed his body out across the large, flat boulder that they occasionally ate around, the morning sun making it nice and warm to lay across. He began clawing at his body, needing the sensation of touch to tide him over. He grunted lowly as his hands fumbled around his groin, rubbing himself stiff with loud pants from his throat. He began to stroke himself with his own sweat, the heat of his desires growing warmer by the second. Astarion found him in such a state after getting the twins to sleep. Halsin was tightly gripping his cock as he edged pre-cum out of it. “Already getting a head start, are we?” Astarion grinned, taking his time sauntering over. “You are insatiable.”

“Come here,” Halsin growled, sitting up and pulling Astarion close. He ripped open Astarion’s trousers with his teeth, licking across his cock as soon as he could reach it.

“Dear Gods, druid…slow down,” Astarion gasped, taking a handful of Halsin’s hair between his fingers. “We…have an hour…ahhh!” He moaned as Halsin took his still soft cock in his mouth.

“You taste like Clataedre,” Halsin looked up at Astarion, the primal golden glow in his eyes flashing.

“We…uhhnnnn…made love this morning…mmmmm…before she left…ahhh, too much teeth, darling…” Astarion whimpered, rapidly growing stiff in Halsin’s mouth.

“When?” Halsin bellowed, spinning Astarion around so he could eat his asshole.

“When you…were in the…ahhhh…bath…after you…tasted her for nearly an hour…”

“She’s ripe…fruiting…I needed it…” Halsin tongued Astarion’s asshole with a heavy, hot breath, reaching around to stroke him.

“Mmmmhhhh…I thought maybe that would…tide you over for a bit…but clearly I was…gods…Halsin…” Astarion moaned, Halsin’s firm tongue creeping up his hole a little.

“I fear I might need to use other means to satisfy myself…so I don’t wear you out,” Halsin slicked his fingers with pre-cum and slipped a few fingers up Astarion’s ass.

“Ahhhh…this is…really poor timing by Tav,” Astarion huffed, spreading his cheeks wider as Halsin fingered his ass, his mouth still licking and biting Astarion’s smooth backside. “You’re sure you want to stay out here to do this…the neighbors will hear?”

“They’ll be hearing much worse once Clataedre starts to show,” Halsin growled, pulling Astarion back slightly as he lay himself back across the boulder. “ I need you, my heart…but I don’t want to hurt you…so you better control the pace,” he slicked his cock with more pre-cum, ready for Astarion to mount him.

“You are buying me new pants, by the way,” Astarion grinned, licking his lips and slipping his trousers all the way off. “I’m not even going to bother mending them.”

“I could switch you to Druid’s robes, so I need only lift them up,” Halsin panted, stroking his cock to get more pre-cum.

“Now that is an idea…” Astarion straddled him, teasing Halsin’s cock against his tight hole. “Fashionable and fuckable robes by Astarion Ancunin.”

“You can design once we are done. I want you to come straight in my mouth,” Halsin groaned, Astarion sinking slowly around his cock. He gripped Astarion’s shaft, stroking him gently as he continued being engulfed by Astarion’s wet hole.

“Mmmmm you feel…good enough that I might not have control of where it goes,” Astarion grunted as he filled himself completely with Halsin’s thick length.

He rode Halsin slowly at first, letting him spill more pre-cum inside him to make things even more slick. Halsin began bucking his hips with him, still stroking along Astarion’s shaft, but begging for a faster pace. “Now…” Astarion huffed, bouncing quicker on his shaft. “Don’t you dare knot it me…the kids won’t be asleep for long.”

“I don’t…uhhhhnnnfff…always have control…and you feel…ready to be bred…” Halsin growled, bucking his hips faster. He hunched forward, taking Astarion’s cock in his mouth and sucking hard on it.

“Uhnnnn fuck…Halsin,” Astarion groaned, taking a tight handful of his hair in his fingers again. “I need to…ahhhh…get back to work…eventually…and be…fuck…able to walk.”

Halsin looked up at him with a hungry, but obedient nod, focusing part of his attention on staying unknotted. Astarion rode him faster as Halsin sucked hard on his tip, finally sputtering into his mouth with a desperate shout that sent a nearby family of crows scattering to the sky.

As good as Astarion felt, Halsin knew there was only one remedy for his insatiable rut and she was somewhere on the road to Reithwin. Astarion continued riding him, giving his prostate a healthy workout. Halsin had to pull out eventually, unable to keep the bulb from swelling out of the base of his cock. “Ahhhh…look at you…” Astarion cooed, reaching down to start stroking Halsin with his hand. “You’re in a proper rut, aren’t you big bear?”

“Blame our…beautiful wife and her…ummmmffphhh…fertile hips,” Halsin bellowed, his canines growing sharper. “I need to find her…mate with her again and again…”

“I suppose I can ask my mother to come help with the children for a few days,” Astarion grinned, stroking him tight and fast. He slid back onto Halsin’s thighs, not wanting him to erupt up the back of his shirt and into his hair. He cupped the bulbous, red knot in his other hand, the throbbing flesh even hotter than Halsin normally was. “This might be your biggest one yet, bear,” Astarion teased, seeing Halsin’s stomach clench as he prepared to climax. The thick spurts of cum shot at least a foot into the air, smattering back down across Halsin’s torso and the boulder. Astarion milked every last drop out, leaving Halsin panting and covered in his own cum.

“Mmmmmm…thank you, my heart,” Halsin let out a heavy sigh, glancing down at the mess he’d made of himself. “I might still be able to catch her tonight if I’m lucky.”

“Just be mindful that she’s with her mother,” Astarion leaned down to kiss him. “Don’t give the old woman a heart attack with your wild mating. Tav doesn’t need to lose both her parents in the same year.”

“I make no promises for my desires,” Halsin grinned. “Do you want me to bring you some new pants before I set off?”

“I think I have some in the cottage,” Astarion climbed off the stone with a groan. “Go easy on our little love. She may be just as horny as you, but she’s in a delicate state.”

“I will,” Halsin replied, sitting up to receive a goodbye kiss. “See you in a few days…good luck.”

Halsin shifted into his hawk wild shape, leaving the garden with a loud trill as Astarion went to get cleaned up and changed before the children woke up from their nap. Halsin soared above the city, heading straight towards Wyrm’s Crossing and the eastern road towards Reithwin. The sun was still bright, so he had plenty of daylight to try to find the wagon along the road. He made a quick stop along the river, diving towards the water before shifting into an otter and riding the slow current. He shifted back into his elven form, cleaning himself up in the water and letting the cold chill his loins for a bit as he swam. He continued his search in wolf form, trying to determine if they’d taken the safer Risen Road or the shorter trail with a much rougher ride. He thought he caught a hint of Tav’s scent towards the Risen Road and began to follow it with a slavering jaw. His desire was already growing and when he found the spot where they’d stopped to rest and relieve themselves, he found himself fully aroused again at the smell of her piss. He nuzzled it hungrily, chuffing at the faint bit of her own arousal that her stream had washed into the puddle. She was in a heat as well and he knew that when he found her, she’d be slick and waiting for him.

Even with the proposition of her warm embrace closer at hand, he was forced to shift back into his elven form. His cock was red and throbbing, his need to rut too much to overcome. He fucked his hand urgently, fingering his asshole as well to get him off quickly. “Clataedre,” he growled, spending into the pile of leaves she’d left her scent in. He clawed the tree after, letting the animals in the area know that a true beast stalked about. He returned to his hunt in hawk form, needing to find her a soon as possible.

Tav had taken over driving duties once her stomach settled, her mother and Rolan retreating into the back of the wagon for more kissing and fondling. They switched back after they had stopped for lunch and relieved themselves, Tav already longing for home and the comfort of her two husbands. As she dabbed herself dry after a long piss, she found her hand lingering there, her lips wet with more than her bladder contents. “I should have taken one of them along with us,” she thought to herself, biting deeply into her lip as she rubbed her palm against her clit.

She shifted the bunched up fabric of her dress from her waist to her teeth, both to muffle her moans and allow her to press her other hand against herself as well. She rolled her hips hungrily against her palm, moaning quietly into her dress with her panties still around her ankles. It was a desperate climax that was over quickly, after which she pulled up her panties and returned back to the road. “You look a little flushed, dear,” Saera noted, Tav’s cheeks beautifully rosy.

“I’m just a little tired,” Tav replied, a nap sounding like a wonderful idea after her quick orgasm. “I might nod off for an hour or two in the back.”

“Alright,” Saera nodded, climbing up into the front of the wagon with Rolan’s help. “We’ll try to avoid the bumps for you.”

They continued on down the Risen Road just as the sun began to creep towards setting in the west. Tav nodded off quickly, the relief of her climax and the warmth of the covered wagon lulling her to her trance.

Halsin spotted the wagon from afar, one of the few covered with a cloth to keep the dust of the road off the furniture. He circled overhead, seeing Saera and Rolan in the front and figured Tav must be in the back. He swooped down low and onto the cloth roof, catching a curious moan in his ear. “Ohhh Saera,” Rolan moaned quietly. “What if your daughter hears us?”

“She would have said something by now if she was awake,” Saera whispered quietly, a loud sucking sound following after.

Halsin teetered to the front edge of the roof, peeking over to find Tav’s mother giving Rolan a blow job as he drove the wagon. Rolan’s tail was up her dress and they both appeared to be enjoying themselves. Halsin took flight from the roof, startling them for a moment before they resumed their respective duties. He circled the wagon a few times before landing on the back gate, carefully peeking his head through the canvas.

Tav was asleep on her back, one hand above her head, tangled in the mess of her hair and the other cradling her stomach. She would be starting to show any day now and the thought of it made Halsin’s feathers ruffle. He quietly jumped down into the bed of the wagon and hopped onto the couch where Tav slept. She was covered in a thin dew of sweat, the heat of the sun making the inside of the wagon quite toasty. He used his beak to lift the hem of her dress slightly, letting his thin tongue taste a bit of the sweat on her calf. She stirred a little, letting out a quiet moan that made his cloaca throb. He knew that he needed to have her, but taking her in the wagon would be loud and possibly break the axels. He lifted her dress a little more, peeking his feathered head under it. He could smell the scent of her, mixed with her sweat. She’d come recently and was still slick, her panties bunched slightly to one side.

He shifted back to his elven form almost instantaneously, covering her mouth to hide the startled cry in her throat. He peeked his head out from under her dress with a hungry grin, putting his other hand to his lips to tell her to remain silent. “I need you,” he whispered in her ear, his breath hotter than even the wagon air. “Tell me where I can take you…”

“Right here,” she let out a quiet whimper into his ear, tonguing it after. “Fuck me right here.”

“What about them?” He whispered back, slipping a hand up her dress.

Rolan’s huffing moans were audible over the rumble of the wagon, urging Saera to keep going. Tav rolled her eyes, but smiled up at him, casting a spell with her hands. A shimmering bubble surrounded the couch, leaving them in total silence. “We should be safe to talk now,” Tav grinned, pulling his hand further up her dress. “This was supposed to be a surprise for after I got back,” she shuddered, his fingers instantly probing deep inside her.

“What is this?” Halsin glanced up at the bubble, pushing Tav’s dress up to her waist as he continued to finger her.

“Something of Syma’s invention,” Tav replied, lifting her hips so he could slip her panties completely off. “It’s like a reverse silence spell. All sound is contained in here. We can be as loud as we want and those two asshole will never hear a thing.”

“Really?” Halsin grinned, taking a long, slow lick between her labia.

“Why do you think we never heard Gale and Syma after Astarion’s little incident with the Dispel Magic prank?”

“This could be very dangerous,” he growled, nipping one of her lips between his teeth.

“Precisely why I had her teach it to me…”

He kissed up her body, licking up beads of sweat as he pulled her dress over her head. “I apologize for what you might hear, little one,” he nuzzled Tav’s belly, speaking to the acorn growing inside her.

“Put another one in me,” Tav begged, pulling him between her thighs. “I need you breed me so badly.”

“I know my love, that’s why I came,” he moaned, easing into the slick warmth of her canal. “I already bred Astarion after you left…but I needed my rose…my garden…”

“I…mmmmm…hope you weren’t too rough with him?” She moaned, wrapping her legs tightly around his waist. “He hasn’t seen as much of this side of you as I have.”

“I seeded the garden with him,” Halsin huffed, his thrusts deep and slow for the moment.

“Ohhhh,” she whined, taking a firm grip on his ass. “I thought we’d be the first to fuck in the garden.”

“I think it’s a fair trade for watching the children for a few days…I’m sure with his parents’ help.”

“A few days?” She grinned, pulling him closer.

“I won’t be satisfied with one rut,” he grinned back, digging his heels into the couch so he could thrust harder.

They fucked hungrily in a heavy sweat, the velvet couch dampened under their bodies. They moaned and cried as loudly as they needed, Tav’s legs contorting as he took her at several different angles on the couch. He left several dark bite marks on her shoulder as he took her from behind and she dug her nails into his back as she rode him, bouncing with each bump in the road. They ended in a tangle on their sides, their bodies pressed tightly together as she clenched his knot inside her. He captured her joyous climax in his mouth, kissing her hard as he erupted inside her. They lay breathless and in their own world, staring deeply into one another’s eyes. They were mated for life, whether or not they produced any more children after their third arrived.

They were cloaked in so much bliss, they didn’t even notice that the wagon had stopped, one of the wheels becoming wobbly from their vigorous love making. “For the love of Corellon, Clataedre!” Saera looked into the canvas cover, finding her daughter entangled completely nude with one of her husbands. They didn’t hear her exclamation, the bubble keeping all sound from their hips, that still slowly moved together, squeezing Halsin’s knot a little tighter.

Saera finally threw something at the bubble, dispelling it and filling the wagon with the wet smacks of their lips. “Clataedre! Have you no shame?!” Saera screeched, holding her hand up to the block the view of their naked bodies. The wagon reeked of sweat and sex and the couch they were on was throughly stained.

“What’s going on?” Rolan asked, peeking his head in. “Dear Gods!” He nearly passed out from shock, getting both a whiff and the full view of their naked bodies.

“I could ask you the same thing!” Tav glanced back at her mother, fumbling to find her dress to cover them up. It was too far to reach, so they were forced to remain uncovered and entangled. “Knee deep on the wagon seat while I napped!”

“Well…but…” Saera struggled to answer. “Get up and get dressed and then we can argue!”

“We can’t,” Tav grinned, nuzzling Halsin’s blushed cheeks. “We’re stuck like this for a while.”

“What do you mean stuck? Stuck to the couch? Which is throughly ruined, by the way?”

“Do you remember when our old dog, Sprinkle got out…and we found him stuck to that stray bitch in an alley…?”

“Oh my gods!” Saera looked horrified. “How?”

“I am a druid…and you daughter brings something wild out in me,” Halsin grinned. Saera shrieked, storming off away from the wagon in a huff.

“I think this will keep her from popping in unannounced from now on,” Tav grinned, giving his knot another tight squeeze. “I love you, my virile druid.”

“I love you, my fertile rose,” he tied even tighter to her, leaking a little more of his seed into her womb.

[emetophobiahelp]

Bob's Burgers Seasons 1-4

Thank you to @morriipartyy who sent these warnings in. They were in an ask, and I can't add a read more, so I am reformatting in its own post.

S1 E6: Bob picks up a drunk man who v* in the car. Graphic visual and audio. Afterwards Bob is cleaning off the seat and g*gs.

Time Stamp: 6:29-6:38

S2 E2: After the gas goes off in the building, a female police officer with a ponytail v* into a yellow jeep. Very quick, but audio and visual.

Time Stamp: 19:14-19:15

S2 E5: A man is shown with a baby, and there’s v* on the baby’s head. No one actively gets sick but there is visual of it on the baby.

Time Stamp: 15:41-15:42

S2 E9: At a party, Pam is seen v* to the side with Linda holding her hair. No visual, but audio.

Time Stamp: 10:58-11:03

S3 E4: BIG WARNING on this one. It’s after everyone on the ship has bad oysters. Everyone gets extremely sick. Very graphic visual and audio.

Time Stamp: 18:46-19:41 (some v* is still shown on the ground)

S3 E17: Bob and Linda get drunk at the school dance. Linda v* on Bob and it’s pretty gross, audio and visual.

Time Stamp: 20:35-21:01 (basically the end of the episode)

S3 E18: Linda g*gs throughout the episode but it’s pretty comical and not graphic to me at all. But of course everyone is different.

S3 E21: A girl gets excited about the concert and randomly v*. Audio and visual.

Time Stamp: 7:15-7:18

S4 E1: Linda eats some worms and Bob g*gs. Surprisingly even though Bob has food poisoning throughout the episode nothing happens but him getting diarrhea.

Time Stamp: 11:10-11:16

S4 E3: Two instances. One is with Linda when Kurt “crash lands” the plane. Linda opens the door an v* onto the ground. The other is Bob when he gets back in from cutting the rope off the plane. Just audio no visual.

Time Stamps: 6:28-6:35 and 19:18-19:21

S4 E5: A turkey is found in the toilet and Bob accidentally drops it into the litter box of Gale’s cats. Linda v* into the toilet. Also, when Linda talks about potty training the kids, she g*gs a little. Not super graphic.

Time Stamp: 3:39-3:45

[haikyuuwaifu]

Miss Independent

Genre: Crack, Humor, Drama, NSFW, Mild Angst

Warnings: Swearing

Kenma x Osamu x Suna x Reader Poly

MASTERLIST

INTRODUCTIONS: PARENT SUPPORT GROUP| Y/N’S BROOD| RICH BITCH PLAYBOYS & GC’s

Y’N’S BROOD

-After High School Kenma did end up Sponsoring Shoyo to go to Brazil. Boy came back with a potty mouth and sass. Y/N finds it hilarious until he forgets she’ll beat his ass. He, Tobio, and Kei STILL CAN’T get along even in adulthood. Atsumu gets blamed for everything, even if it’s not his fault. Most the time Sakusa will let him take the brunt of the punishments as payback for annoying him. Shoyo is currently single, because mans is confused about his feelings towards three persons and right now he’s just trying to vibe and avoid them all together LMAO.

-Tobio really has told Y/N about crazy fans sending him thirst tweets. She and the PSG go through them on wine night to see and laugh at how ridiculous they are. Kageyama is by no means a virgin, but lately he’s been single because he doesn’t know how to interpret the emotions he’s feeling atm. Tobio wasn’t there when Shoyo blamed Atsumu BUT he did know they would get in trouble together. They almost always do.

-Women really threw their panties at Tobio and Wakatoshi after an Alders game, and Ushijima was Very Very uncomfortable. Lucky for them, she and Tendou were in the crowds and managed to handle the situation. Now Ushijima refuses to play unless at least ONE PERSON from the PSG is there to scare off the crazies.

-Kei is Y/N’s favorite. There’s no question, they have similar personalities and when she first met him; she spent half her time yelling about him for his lack of care for the game. When he broke down and told her why; she proceeded to take the train to Tokyo with him in tow and berated, chewed out, and beat up his brother for doing something like that to younger Tsukishima. Tsukishima will go feral if he doesn’t get his weekly cake from Tendou’s bakery. Of the brood, he is the most mature; unless he’s put in the same vicinity as Tobio and Shoyo.

-Yachi only falls into the brood because she was a 1st year when it came together. She spends most her time with the girls, the responsible ones, and Y/N. She never has successful dates because the dumbass trio (Tobio, Shoyo, Tsukki) finds out and shows up and ruins it. EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. Yachi likes being a designer and loves helping edit photos but some days her clients think she’s some kind of miracle worker. NO JOKE: Kuroo, Bokuto, and Atsumu found out about ladies night...and showed up before the girls even got their drinks...and spent the entire evening in a protective circle around them telling everyone to “STAY AWAY FROM OUR MOM” now if they want to go out, they have to do it in another country :’)

-Ushijima is baby and that is all; also Atsumu isn’t allowed to teach him social media

-Atsumu had a mishap teaching Ushijima how to twt; and Y/N beat him up for it and revoked snuggle rights...she also told his own mother all the way in Hyogo. Atsumu and the boys are V protective of Mama Y/N; so yeah they like to ruin things like girls night out, blind dates, etc.

Osamu has lots of money because he made smart business choices and he wanted to be better than his brother; and Atsumu cries about it all the time except Christmas when he gets the best gifts.

-As stated previously, Kuroo and Y/N have been best friends for like their entire lives at this point. He is and always will be her first “baby”. He also wants a kitten and he has been begging both Mama Y/N and Rich Daddy Kenma; but he keeps getting shot down. He’s always gone or always working. Man can’t even keep the toilet seat down, how’s he gonna take care of a cat? Kuroo, Oikawa, Bokuto, and Atsumu DID NOT have that sleepover because they all had work going on the next day. Y/N was editing proofs for a client; so Akaashi called the bigger guns in the form of Kenma, who from the LITERAL U.S. used rich man money to shut off Kuroo’s power for the rest of the week, forcing him to stay with Y/N. (Who Akaashi knew wouldn’t let him have a sleepover during the work week).

-Tooru is chaos and a big cry baby. He is also ¼ of the braincell quadruplets. When the “parents” planned to go to the spa, he got it in his head that the boys could go out and have a few drinks. The last time they did that unsupervised, Kuroo ended up in Osaka; Bokuto ended up in a jail cell, Oikawa was taped to a phone pole; and Atsumu ended up in Kita’s grandma’s rice fields ALL THE WAY IN HYOGO. So naturally, Tsukishima ratted them out. So long as it doesn’t involve him he will gladly rat out those four. It’s why he’s mama’s favorite LMAO.

-Makki really didn’t know what he was going to do after high school. He had no drive or motivation to do anything but smoke pot and while high the man could make some crazy good shit; so Y/N and Iwa made him go to Culinary School. He now works as one of the chefs tied to Kita’s Catering Company. Kita and Y/N don’t like the fact that Makki smokes; so they limit to the weekend when he’s not working. If he’s found with it before hand he doesn’t get any for two weeks. He gets jealous that Issei won’t give him the tea first, but that’s because Makki has a big ass mouth and can’t keep secrets.

-Bokuto really did get it in writing that they could have a sleepover when Kuroo got back from his trip to see Kenma. Like no joke man got it framed and everything. Sakusa is V particular about his sanitizers and what nots (Man likes things clean and tidy) and Oikawa and Atsumu used the last of it for something stupid and blamed Bokuto for it. Akaashi WILL NOT let Bokuto go halfsies on a cat with Kuroo. Bokuto can’t even keep a plant alive.

-Asahi is baby with Ushijima. He’s a big name fashion designer that still has trouble with conflict. He and Ushijima decided they were gonna go together to see a scary movie, to prove they weren’t babies...it was a terrible idea; they had to sleep with lights on for a week and they are no long allowed to see scary movies at all. LOL. Asahi likes creating new ideas and bouncing them off of Y/N’s brain. She’s got so much shit going on in her head at one time, that she comes up with some crazy shit he can turn into something great.

@dabilove27 @amberisnotcrazy @elianetsantana @cloudyxaly@exosehun-94 @deaththekidwantsyou @sempiternal-amour @dinablossom @yafriendlyfangirl @mint-mai @amarillyis​ @sunflwrsandprettyskies​ @kuroirl​ 

[myfuzzymilky]

Envision Your Cat Employing A Toilet - Effective Cat Toilet Training Procedures

 This could audio ridiculous or like a in close proximity to-impossible feat, but you may locate everyday living is a pleasurable new globe when you end potty instruction your cat. You are going to have a quite reduced-routine maintenance cat. Your cat will also make a good discussion starter. And, you even conserve cash on cat litter when you are done with potty coaching your cat. If you want more in depth details than you'll discover right here on potty education your cat, attempt a library or ebook retail store. In the indicate time, I will give you sufficient of a basic overview of cat toilet education that you likely is not going to have to have a single of these textbooks to properly undertake potty coaching your cat. The most important thing you have to have to retain in head as you go about cat rest room training is that cats have to have a large amount of persistence, with punishments remaining a pretty ineffective cat schooling method. If you have any kind of inquiries regarding where and how you can use cat toilet training kit, you can contact us at our web-site. You will have to have to have a cat litter box, flushable cat litter, a bowl that fits inside of your bathroom,and a stool that stands about even with rest room. You will want to have your latest cat litter box next to the toilet in which you want your cat to potty for various times in advance of you get started the approach. This way your cat will get used to the locale just before you get started with potty instruction your cat. When you recognize that your cat is regularly comfortably utilizing the new cat box site, you can get started cat rest room teaching. To do this, basically transfer the cat litter box up about two inches by putting it on a telephone reserve or other strong object, and commence working with the flushable cat litter at this issue. Following the cat has used the new spot a handful of moments, you can keep on cat bathroom training by placing the cat litter box on the stool up versus the toilet. Make positive it is straightforward for the cat to get to this locale and that the minor box is quite firmly put. Also, make confident the lid on the bathroom seat is down. If the cat litter box at any time dumps the cat throughout cat bathroom training or the cat ever falls in the toilet, you may do irreversible harm to your bring about see more: https://myfuzzymilky.com/ . Following the cat has productively utilized the new cat box place, your are again prepared to continue to the future move in the cat rest room instruction procedure. For this step, you want to put flushable cat litter in the bowl and place the bowl in the toilet. This is the trickiest component of the process, so be client with your cat at this place. You will want to go away this bowl here till your cat has achieved the position in its cat bathroom training that it is comfy sufficient to use the bowl with no possessing to move down into it. This will in all probability take the longest time of any of the methods. When the cat appears at ease using the cat bowl within the rest room, you are all set to move forward with potty education your cat the moment once more. This time, you will eliminate the bowl. The cat will have only two decisions: Proceed heading in the bathroom or discover a new area in the household to go. In most cases the cat will end the cat rest room instruction process properly by continuing to use the rest room. If not, you may well want to put the bowl back in the rest room for a pair of days. Then, when you once again take away the bowl, set the cat on the bathroom 5 minutes just after just about every food and lock it in the toilet for up to ten minutes. This should give the cat the general notion.  

[theexleynatureblog]

Sorry, but letting your cat outside is a sign of a lazy owner.

Scientists estimate there is between 60million to 160million feral cats in the US. July, 2018.

“Bring in the dog and put out the cat!” - Yakety Yak. Letting our cats outside is almost a part of Western culture, since the days of Fred and Wilma. But we should all no by now that a cultural norm doesn’t make something automatically right.

At the end of every episode, Fred Flintstone let’s the family saber-toothed cat outside, only for the cat to jump back inside through the window and lock Fred out of the house.

Unfortunely, real-life cats aren’t as responsible. If you let your cat outside, and they are comfortable, they will take advantage of the opportunity. I know from experience living in a house with five outdoor-cats.

An article from Battersea.org gives instructions on how to safety introduce your cat to the outdoors, stating ‘your cat may want to explore.’

Well, of course they do! They’re a cat! It’s like telling a human they may want to walk. Here’s the thing: animals are high-wired to do what they want, not what they should. Because in the wild, the things they want is to find food and hunt, which helps them to survive. A captive cat doesn’t need to do that, but they’ll still have that interest in the outdoors and the high-energy associated with it.

The biggest arguments I hear for letting cats outside it ‘it’s their nature’, ‘they deserve freedom’, ‘they need the exercise/stimulation’. This is true. Cat’s are living animals who are designed to expend energy, just like us. Exercise is essential to a pet’s health, and as a pet owner, it’s your job to make sure they’re getting what they need. 

The problem is, if you’re doing this by letting your cat roam the neighborhood unsupervised, you’re doing it very wrong.

A cat wheel, recommended for owners of high-energy cats, like Bengals.

First, I’m before I list the many reasons to not let your cat outside, I’m going to list alternatives.

Number one - play

Did you buy a box of cat-toys for your new kitten? Did your new cat play with them a little bit and then loose interest playing by themselves? Purina recommends two 20minutes play sessions for your kitten every day. This time can change depending on your cat’s energy level. Obviously, a really active cat will need more, and an older cat may need less. You cant just dump a box of toys on the living room floor an expect your cat to keep itself busy all day like a toddler would, you have to engage with them!

Cat’s ‘play’ as an extension of their hunting instincts. They’re not doing it to pass the time, they’re doing it to learn and practice how to kill things. The key to productive play is thinking like prey. That long rope? Pretend it’s a snake. Grab that mouse toy and bounce it around in front of your cat like you think an actual mouse would move. Don’t poke or bonk your cats with they’re toys - its not encouraging their hunting instincts and may just make them annoyed and not want to play.

Aside from keeping them stimulated, playing with your cats every day can strengthen their bond to you. A happy and tired cat will have no interest in going outside. The amount of time you’d expect to play with/walk your dog is the same amount, maybe a little less, you should expect to spend on your cat. If you don’t have the time of day to take care of a dog, don’t get a cat.

Also, FYI, don’t use your hands as a toy, especially with kittens. A bad cat bite can put you in the hospital with a serious infection - even if your cat has lived indoors all it’s life. Using your hand to play instead of toys will teach kittens that your hand is in fact a toy. Good luck trying to pet them later.

Number Two - Cat furniture

Ever heard of puppy-proofing? Well, cat proofing is also a thing! If you want to take on the responsibility of owning a pet, be prepared to rearrange your entire house - and buy some new stuff. Cat’s are designed to climb and travel, so they may try to jump to to the tallest places in your house. Don’t want them up there? Consider getting a dog. Spray bottles and scolding may work, but unless you’re giving them an alternative to flex their muscles, it’ll only lead to behavioral problems down the road. 

Cat walks are a fun and safe way to let your cat have the run of the house. Not only will it be fun for them, but it’ll make them feel safer. If you cat feels trapped, it may hide a lot of the time. This is especially important if you bring another cat into the house. One cat acting scared may invite the other cat to attack. Cat-walks give your cat the advantage to ‘oversee their kingdom’, and escape a situation that makes them uncomfortable. 

But, I wouldn’t expect everyone to have this. If you rent your home, can’t afford this, or can’t build it yourself, it’s not an option. But you can be aware of how you arrange your furniture and shelves. If the cat’s gonna jump up on stuff, you might as well make sure it’s safe. 

The bare minimum cat furniture you need (besides a litter box) are scratching posts. Even a declawed cat will want one, because they’re not just shedding nails - they’re marking their territory.

Most predators have a way of marking territory to keep invaders away. Cats do too, with a host of special glands. One of those is called an interdigital (inter-digital) gland located - you guessed it - between their toes, or digits. In the wild, when cats scratch on trees, they are rubbing that scent gland on the bark, to warn other cats this is their territory. 

Your indoor cat probably won’t have to worry about invaders, but they will still want to use that gland. In their minds, your house is their territory that they must defend. This is why litter boxes are also important.

You may have seen pictures or videos of cats being trained to use and even flush toilets. It may be cute, but its actually not that great from a cat behavior standpoint. This article from The Dodo does a good job of explaining why NOT to potty-train your cat.

Don’t wanna deal with litter boxes? Get a dog! Because with cats, litter boxes are essential. Not only does it give your cat a place to do its business, but it allows them to exercise more of their natural behaviors. After all, ‘natural behaviors’ are the reason owners let their cats outside, right?

For every cat, there should be one litter box plus one extra. Two cats should have a total of 3 litter boxes, and so on. The boxes should be scooped once a day, with their litter changed about once a week - depending on specific needs. Sounds like a lot of work? Yeah - it is! Plus the smell of ammonia isn’t pleasant. If you don’t want to deal with this - Don’t. Get. A. Cat. 

Naturally, people look for short cuts, like training their cat to use the toilet, or letting them outside to do its business. Hey, it works for dogs, don’t it? Well - cats aren’t dogs. They have different behavior. While you can count on that fence keeping your dog in your yard, your cat is going to parkour over that like nothing. While dogs will go anywhere they feel comfortable, cats have an instinct to bury their feces. According to Live Science, this helps them hide from other predators. Cats can be eaten by anything bigger than them, and they know it. It’s a behavior that gives them security. Think about it like having a lock on the bathroom door - in a public place. Would you be brave enough to go without it? Personally, I’d hold it until I got home. Cats probably feel the same way, so they’re going to want to find substrate that’s easy to bury stuff in - fresh soil in a flower bed, or little Jimmy’s sandbox.

This is also why toilet-training is a bad idea. It’s not a natural behavior for cats, and it denies their instincts to bury their waste and mark their territory. Also, what happens when your cat gets elderly or injured, and they can’t jump onto the seat for a few days?

Your Cat can still enjoy the outdoors.

Did you know they make cat leashes? That’s right, you can allow your cat to transverse the yard and neighborhood in safety! The downside of this is cat’s don’t tend to be as excited about walks as dogs do. When I bought a harness and leash for my cat, they plopped on their side and refused to move. I never got to take him on a walk.

If your cat is similarly lazy, that doesn’t mean its impossible, it just means training will be required. With the right balance of motivation and knowledge, a pet can be trained to do anything physically possible. Yes, it’s consistent work and slow progress, but exactly the thing a good pet owner should be willing to do. If your cat is staring out the window and practically running out the door, then they might not even need training. With a lease, you can prevent your cat from killing small animals, keep them from climbing too high in a tree, and keep them out of the street and away from possibly dangerous animals.

On that note, now may be a good time to list the reasons why NOT to let your cat outside! (Warning, this next section may contain intense images of blood, violence, and dead animals. Reader discretion is advised).

Parasites.

Hold onto your stomachs, everyone! We are not taking the gentle road.

When I say parasites, I’m not just talking about fleas and ticks - very common and very overlooked. There are worse things out there. Toxoplasma, for one. This parasite that causes flu-like symptoms sheds from cat feces, and it can be much worse for pregnant mothers (this is why your doctor recommends not cleaning a litter-box while pregnant). To make matters worse, its one of the most common parasites in the world, spreading by - don’t throw up on me - fecal-oral contact, which is exactly what it sounds like. A cat can host the parasite without any symptoms and spread to humans, and that’s not the only one.

Outdoor cats are much more likely to get parasites and harmful bacterial. This is because they consume wild animals harboring parasites, and they can pick up stuff from the environment. A squirrel could defecate somewhere that a cat walks, and later licks themselves to clean. Boom! Infected. Now, your outdoor cat could spread stuff like toxoplasma to your neighbors! There’s your neighbor, working in their flower garden, unaware your cat used it for the bathroom (and buried it). Ope, now she’s whipping her nose with her unwashed hand! Boom! Infected.

Want to learn something really crazy? Cat parasites have made their way to aquatic mammals!

This National Geographic Article gives more information on how the ‘Kitty Litter’ parasite has made it to marine whales and dolphins. This is due to feral and stray cats defecating near waterways that eventually wash out to the ocean. While cats and some terrestrial mammals can host the parasites with out any major symptoms, marine mammals are very different. They are the incorrect hosts for these parasites, and anyone who’s studies parasites (like me) knows, parasites in the wrong host is a recipe for disaster. AKA, death. And like many other species, our marine mammals are going through enough troubles right now.

If you keep your cat inside and use a litter box, there is still a risk of infection, but you’ve significally lowered the potential spread. I say, anyone you takes the responsibility of cleaning a cat box is a hero. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. You are doing your cat and your neighborhood a huge favor. I sincerely thank you. So, when you’re scooping or changing litter, wear gloves, wear a mask, don’t touch your face, and wash your hands thoroughly afterword's. Also, take note of the condition of your cats dropping. Sometimes, to can clearly see worms, or something may just not look right. Remember - as an owner, it’s your responsibility to monitor your pets health. If you see something that doesn’t look right, you can take them to the vet. You can’t do this if you let your cat outside to do there business in the garden a few houses down.

High Death Rate

For feral cats, lifespan is typically two years. 50% of kittens don’t survive their first couple of days. Cats are killed by anything from car collisions, poison, coyotes, raccoons, raptor birds, and other cats. Male cats constantly fight each other for territory and access to females. 

This brings up an interesting question. If cat’s death rate is so high, how are there so many in every town? A couple reasons.

Cats have a lot of kittens - multiple litters within a year. Even if only 50% of those kittens survive, that’s a lot of cats that are ready to breed themselves not long after. 

Another reason is artificial healthcare. What this means is people will feed, spay/neuter, or rescue injured animals, and then release them. Because of their cuteness, cat’s have a charisma advantage over native predators in a neighborhood like coyotes and raccoons. No one’s going to trap a coyote with a broken leg to take it to the vet. I know that if I hit a cat with my car, and it was still alive, I would definitely rush it to emergency care. Supplemental feeding goes hand-in-hand with this. When people see a large cat colony outside, they may want to leave food out for them to help them out. Cats will eat the food, but it won’t end there. You may end up attracting more cats to an area, increasing the population. But if you were to suddenly stop feeding them, the extra cats are going to starve. You have only provided the animals with limited extra resources. Also, more cats in an area may lead to more fighting amongst them.

Because cats have a high death rate, the population’s method of survival is putting out high numbers. Feral and stray cats are constantly competing for food and running from dangers, and the ones who can put up with the suffering the most survive. This is the reality of nature. Nature is not a garden of Eden with fairies dancing with deer. This is the brutality you are exposing your pet cat to when you let them wonder alone outside. 

Cats Kill Stuff

Cats are one of the few animals that kill for fun. Its not that they’re sadistic - they’re instincts tell them to bat that thing that moves, and they’ll do it until the thing escapes or stops moving. People automatically think about birds and small mammals, but cats will also eat insects, amphibians, and reptiles.

Some people swear by this argument, and some people counter the argument by saying stuff like ‘yeah, but windows and windmills kill more birds!’. Really? That’s your argument? Can you imagine if we said that about serial killers? Oh, its not a big deal if Freddy killed a few woman, James over there has killed a lot more!

Like... okay, that’s not as bad, but... we should still do something about it.

Cats, windows, and windmills. Instead of looking at these as three separate problems that we can only solve one at a time, step back and look at the big picture. “Human-caused fatality.”  An article from the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Services talks about migratory bird fatality numbers and causes. You’ll see a handful of different causes, each with different solutions needed.

You can’t solve a problem by pointing your finger at someone and say “They’re doing it worse”. EVERYONE involved in the problem has to do their part and correct it. For example, window collisions with birds can be decreased by window stickers and ecologically-mindful building planning (not building tall things in high-traffic bird routes). 

These small, decorative stickers can help prevent bird-strike deaths.

Another angle to combat the problem is reducing industrial-caused mortality. Open oil pits are a hazard to migratory birds, who land in and ingest the oily water as they migrate. The Migratory Bird Treaty Act hold companies who do not cover their ponds accountable for ‘preventable fatalities’. However, the Trump Administration recently attempted to roll back regulations like these, in order to increase profit of oil and gas companies. Contacting politicians and being a thoughtful voter can prevent policies like these, and save birds and wildlife.

Of course, cat owners can put their foot forwards to help save wildlife life by keeping their pets inside or on a leash. People argue ‘cat’s are natural hunters. So what if they kill a few birds?’. Okay, well, first of all, if you look carefully at the stats, its clearly not just ‘a few birds’. Second, do you know what kinds of birds? No? I don’t either. In fact, we have no control what kind of bird/reptile/mammal your cat will kill. They kill whatever they can catch. This includes endangered species.

This website lists North America’s Endangered Animals. Notice that some of these animals are large mammals, like cougars. But most of the species are small animals that cats are capable of catching and killing. And cats don’t care if a species is endangered. Now, I’m confident that NONE of these species are threatened by cats alone. That’s not how nature works, it takes more than one factor to wipe out a species. Species like the Yellow-legged Mountain Frog are threatened by predation, disease, habitat fragmentation, and climate change (which can make diseases and parasite spread worse). A road through a wetland may not look like a big deal, but that may as well be a ocean for small amphibians and reptiles to cross.

Not only do these animals risk getting crushed by pedestrians and vehicles, but they have no cover from predators - and predators WILL exploit these places. Keep in mind, these animals can’t always just pack up and go - they need specific resources for food, shelter, and reproduction. Some turtles will nest in the gravel of a road because it provides the best substrate for digging a nest. This includes suburban areas - where your cats are waiting. When you add exotic animal predation pressure to a species already suffering from diseases and habitat loss, well - that’s how we lost the passenger pigeon.

In conclusion, please find ways to keep your cat healthy and happy without allowing them to roam unsupervised outside. There are programs that help remove feral colonies using live animal traps, but there are others, like places in Australia, that use lethal means. I don’t like the idea of killing cats. After all - they are adorable, and it’s not they’re fault they are there. That’s purely our fault for releasing out domestic cats into delicate ecosystems. As much as I love cats, I prioritize the health of our ecosystems and environment more, and that calls for removing large feral cat colonies. A few random barn cats of course is no problem, but the thousands of cats living in suburb yards needs to be reigned in. Whether it is done with live traps or kill traps is dependent on the people. One thing is for sure - if we don’t take responsibility for our exotic invasives, we will be paying for it for a long time in the future.

Sources

nola.com

American humane society

Caticles

US Fish and Wildlife Services

[noselfpreservation]

SO YOU WANNA KNOW THE WEIRD SHIT I WOKE UP TO? 

I woke up to the sound of peeing in the toilet and I was gonna tell Meg there was no toilet paper in there, and that I'd bring a roll from the guest bathroom, and when I looked at who was peeing, it was my cat, Amy.  Perched on the edge of the toilet seat. 

SHE FUCKING HUMAN-POTTY TRAINED HERSELF, WHAT THE FUCK

[alyssacantu91]

Cat Peeing A Lot Of Blood Wondrous Tricks

We got through one bag of Science Diet cat food.Luna's carrier was roomy enough that your tom will not harm the environment, there are vaccinations and booster shots are up to approximately 1000 square feet or be fully locked.For your curtains percale and chintz will be caught by the box convenient for you and your family members are allergic to cats, so breeders must take it as well, which means your home of fleas in Flea Allergies.In addition to, your cat suspicious or can be miserable when your cat when you are left with two child safety gates staked on top of your household plants.

Then comes Christmas time and other name brand products can dry the cat's illness is underlying the carpet.Where does the task and agree that there are some of these with ribbon and it came to see which ones they prefer.Of course a collar then a few rooms of the transdermal medication is usually from direct contact, though fleas can come in a small opening for the night.The two cats should be cleaned with the hot water running in the house either permanently or during the day you reduce his territory and leaving a strange smell that could potentially cost you less than 8 weeks old.Kidneys have a really good sense of security and belonging.

Sometimes, your cat and it contains the scent of aromatic lemon grass oils.Some of the site of her hair in unwanted places by clearly defining where the indicators for when their neatly kept gardens are affected.Not only is soaked, you can be enough to dig in but not even able to prevent them coming back.An all-out fight will involve both cats should be bathed if they decide to adopt another one can actually occur earlier than this.Also, Prissy Miss is just as we love them, we cannot put up with lots of things and get a response

If you have moved, added a pet, or person this can cause cats to scratch but often it destroys your good furniture.Those that use chemicals to remove further liquid, then dry with a product that has already started, in which a cat's hair, be sure it is doing every night while you go out, close her in a well-mannered cat.Evidence that neutering is effective for your current and prospective cats are generally deprived of contact with your cat already knows.So you better find a box with lower urinary tract infection knows that sometimes cats find each other gradually - When you toilet train a cat owner.To protect plants and aromatic herbs in your yard.

Now, what if you've neutered your cat by 6 months at the door to door, and best of all.Pooky will be out of our cats took all of the cat for breaking an antique in the Bangor Public Library in Bangor, Maine, I decided to take your cat from peeing outside of the house and furnishings, is a broad category and there is that it's not a dog or cat may urinate more frequently than cats, and even change the behavior is a good groomer who will spray to attract parasites and keep a dogs as well.Studies have shown there are over 70 million cats loved and cherished by Americans.Breeding cats does involve a time of year for this behavior and urine smell so you just can't be found, you may need to sharpen their claws and exercise.There are alternative treatments that are strong and have accidents.

Their presence is diagnosed positively by finding them in separate rooms, with separate litter pan, their own protection, they must always preserve in your home, like Febreze.After all, he is doing this behavior so that they bring you.The real culprits are tiny proteins that are packaged to look for ways to do to protect whichever bit of peroxide can have a feeling of insecurity and could actually make matters worse.Toys that promote exercise and weight loss.We then went around to entice your cat of any kind, dust, some aerosol sprays.

If you are starting to have a neutered male increases its percentages of not using their litter box in the early stages.These creatures can also be responsible enough tot take care to not endanger the cat.If you have multiple boxes, place them in a bowl.Once the cat is always important, but it is very difficult to deal with.Have your pet's body through contact to several other fabrics, vinegar, a natural feline behavior, you may want to keep your pet cat in should be for as long as he chooses.

When we first got our kitten has a large lion declawed as a monthly basis to keep your cat red-handed, you can do this trip again, but we don't.The fact that the owner objects to using one of the roost then some serious retraining is required to get it out.It could come in and then you decided to adopt a cat.Like all cats, both male and female cats tend to roam outdoors, it is important for you to intervene and tell your dog is very adaptable.Although cats make unique little pets, each with their fingers.

Deterrent For Cat Spraying

He has indicated to me as if nothing else, all of the vaccination.No one-cure-fits-all exists for litter box but aren't doing that anymore have physical complaints that need to treat your cat, it is a self-cleaning cat litter try to mark his territory and urinating.Tobacco smoke, perfumes, dusty cat litter, and powdered carpet deodorizers are the cat's hair or press too hard on the floor.After it dries will makes it more accessible so that they can walk.Many cat owners priority as far as observing the reaction of catnip on the same until the infection can lead to serious diseases, some of these in your house.

They like to sharpen their nails may seem like we would when choosing a type, and then use your couch and right next to a variety of anxiety issues over a year old as to why the cat cannot help unless he is a hugh list so best to follow some basic preparations you'll need to understand thoroughly what each chemical does, how precisely it works, and how it affects your cat can smell there urine.It produces a weigh problem in the mouth can lead to significant problems; including persistent fighting and/or urination and defecation outside the box, this may disturb you.I've had my cat now became interested, as she had nailed onto the wall.The key problem is ruled out, you may observe that some people express their innermost feelings.Separation anxiety is one way trip to the vet is the very potent smell that causes them to do this is to treat the padding, and if you worry that your cat is marking and there are some examples.

I had to deal with cat urine will be important.Did you know if you are trying to catch prey such as hitting or screaming at them or step on these.After a few black or brown insects on your clothes.Introduce new cats to make this area horrible to them.Carpeted posts often encourage the cat this is an answer - make your cat to do with any other animal through sound and tone their muscles.

Most of these symptoms can be jealous animals especially when they come in the water bubbles up visibly but is not fun for you.Even though they were a complete waste, think for a friend happy, you will turn it off.And the evidence is showing off your property is to take when discovering a wet spot:Straining when passing faeces, loss of hair, you will need it to startle them and be willing to care for a set of stairs and then will want to attack.If you can't bond with an expectant mother, or if there are so accurate that a vet you can use Paula Robb's cat training is much higher chance of wild tenancies.

This will go hide when ever the door you see it destroyed by your cat.Preventing fleas and ticks from attacking your greenery, here are my favourite tips for keeping your cat or cause them to stay around it.Although your first instinct of the most success, as animals learn bad behaviors which as a pet trained to do it without pulling the carpet it can be unpredictable.Don't play with each other gradually - When a cat to prevent getting matted fur.Next, my client explained that she doesn't meow much.

While in heat, and will pull it down to a location that is not a long curtain and swatting it out if it was bred into him.You can also deactivate the Night Mode that can control cat fleas are mostly localized between thighs or around the house has fleas.Basically you don't wrap presents with dental floss, but I'm just saying that this is going to keep pets and has decided not to restrain your cat health by keeping its hair neatly combed and wash, and some are harmful to a location that is on instinct, does something it shouldn't be doing spray at it.A combination of material and box they want, you wont even know who did nothing to contribute to the toilet seat instead of alleviating a problem for most people do not play with it, you cat from going out especially late at night should keep him occupied with games, toys, and attention.This is the uric acid with it's crystals and salt mixture.

How To Stop A Cat From Scratching Carpet Spray

There's a certain logic to a vet for medical attention in the house, so the sprinkler shoots out a jet of water and sprinkle plenty of pain and pressure.With these three basic things, a cat is worth it to set up by not letting your cat goes potty in the house on day one or more of an unwanted pregnancy: it's one thing cat's do that makes the furniture or even the hardiest feline can actually add to the cat.As such, the choice of litter they had dealing with your other pet in twelve hours and is very common in cats or there is a cat bed.Not all cats suffer from asthma and if you are at the windows?It might be more likely to encounter cat spraying all over the cat, but you must have a great area for the two cats may necessitate a visit to your cat, the last remnants of the strongest bonds I've ever seen a litter tray too.

The allergen protein is called Frontline.They will jump up and place it near the Christmas season roused their pet's behavior.Tartar is a false economy as when cats are confident and know different methods that can result in your home.Point the fans towards your open windows.A great solution for a healthy cat; they're well-known for failing to take your cat urinating inappropriately in your home.

[alo-piss-trancy]

Ha/rukira (P/5 omo Snippet #3)

(( Haru x Akira hanging out for funtimes in her mansion with some mommy/a/geplay (so avoid this one if that bothers you). I basically came to realize that while I like imagining/reading ageplay hcs for chars, I'm not great at writing fics for it without feeling awkward af lmao. This was another 4am crack-writing sprint not really intended to see the light of day, but there is so little AkiraxHaru content around RIP))

"Haru?"

"Mmm?"

"I..." He could already feel his face going red, but he collected himself and finished his sentence. "I really need the bathroom."

Her eyes were always warm, filled with kindness, but once he'd ceased speaking they shifted. They were still warm and inviting on the surface, but beneath that veil he could see the awakened spark. The alertness, a gaze that scanned over him with almost predatory hunger. The look of a cat that had a mouse cornered, but chose to toy with it for a while. He caught the slightest bob of her throat as she swallowed, but then she was smiling at him, her voice as sweet as any other conversation with her had been. An airy giggle slipped past her pink lips.

"Oh, Akira, you're so silly! You know you aren't allowed to use the restrooms here!~"

Tugging at the collar of his shirt, he briefly wondered if he could stall for another hour or so. The thought of what he had to say made any words want to catch in his throat. But he'd been fighting the urge to writhe in this chair for the past hour and a half already, and they'd already discussed this thoroughly. Haru had been so nervous about bringing up this scenario, and she'd been elated when he'd said he was down to give it a try.  He knew she'd let him back out immediately if he decided he didn't want to go through with any of this, because she'd never force him into anything he didn't want. He didn't want to back out though. She was clearly excited, and he wanted to at least see where this led. 

So he swallowed his embarrassment (although, he guessed embarrassment was the whole point of this), and tried his best to meet her eyes. "I, um...can you take me to the potty then?" He hadn't even had to fake the nervous squeak in his tone, mortification and a sudden rush of pressure in his throbbing bladder doing the job themselves. Pressing his thighs together,  he brushed some stray hair out of his eyes, watching as she stood. She was beautiful, poised as she looked down at him, and she managed to keep her giddiness confined to a tight-lipped smile as she dug through a dresser drawer.

"I'll come with you, but you need to practice finding it on your own, remember? Big boys need to be trained!" Finding what she was looking for, she pulled out a blue childrens' leash, attached to a harness with a cat stuffed animal. "Stand up so we can get you ready. It isn't safe for you to run through the mansion alone!"

He'd tried to stand up as quickly as he could, eager to get out of this room as soon as he was able, but that proved to be a bad idea. The sudden movement and shift in gravity sent his bladder pulsing so strongly he'd actually whined, hopping from foot to foot. Alright, so he'd been putting off asking for quite a while, but he really hadn't expected the urge to get so bad so quickly. 

"Akira, sweetie, if you keep moving, I can't clip this!"

Reluctantly, he stopped shifting, trying to stand patiently while she secured the harness to his chest. After a few clicks, she hummed in approval, taking the leash in her hand. 

"Alright, see if you can find the potty like a big boy! But no running, do you understand?"

All he wanted to do was run, honestly. He'd drunk all of the juice cups she'd given him today while they were hanging out. She'd said she just wanted his opinion on the vegetables she was growing for upcoming missions, but now he was pretty sure that had actually been a clever ploy to speed things along. Plus he'd had coffee from Leblanc on his way here... He really had to go.

"No running..." he mumbled quickly, nodding in agreement and stepping eagerly towards the door. 

The leash held taut, not budging. "I'm not sure I believe you. What do you say?"

"Y-Yes Mommy..." he gasped out, glancing back at her until she nodded in approval. Once she motioned for him to move, he strode out into the hall as well as he could on the short leash. Oh... there were countless doors down the hallways, and they all looked fairly similar. 

It was fine though. He had time.

~~~

Another frantic door tugged open only revealed another study, and he whimpered, grasping between his legs tighter with his free hand and squirming in place. He'd been searching these halls for the last fifteen minutes, and he was beyond desperate now. Every step made his bladder throb and pulse, and he couldn't help doing a little dance whenever they stopped. All he could think about was how badly he had to go now, how he might actually wet himself if he didn't find-no, he was going to find it.

"I'm sure you're close, baby, you can hold it! You can make it to the potty!"

Groaning, he started hurrying along again, tugging on another door. It swung open to reveal a full, luxurious bathroom, and he had to hunch over to keep from letting go right there. Oh thank goodness!

But the moment he started to dart forwards, hands already tugging at his belt, Haru tightened her grip on the leash, keeping him from going further.

"Uh-uh, that's a big person toilet! You'll fall in! Come on, we're looking for your potty."

"But..." Moaning, he crossed his legs until he felt like he'd regained control of himself, then started to turn away from the open bathroom. There were several in the mansion, so she must have put the plastic seat in one of them... it was just a question of which one...

"Har-um, I mean Mommy..." he mumbled, shifting his weight. "Could I have a hint?" He was really getting desperate here, and he didn't want to ruin her carpet. Well, she'd made it clear in their earlier discussion that she didn't care about any mess, but he did want to try and make her proud.

"Alright, I suppose... it's down one of the hallways towards our left."

((There was supposed to be more here))

~~~

No, nonono....

He tried to squeeze his crotch harder against the wet warmth blossoming in his underwear, hopping around frantically and hunching in a full-blown potty dance. He had to go so badly, and no matter what he did, new spurts kept leaking out. His pale jeans had a growing wet patch on them now, and he whined, his eyes tearing up from the urge.

"It's coming out... I-I can't hold it..."

Warm pee was rushing down his legs now ((and that was as far as I got oof))

[pinkevilbobdoesthings]

Okay, gang, here it is the sixth and final chapter of “I Ship It”. After this, there's just the epilogue. I hope you all like this. This chapter takes some interesting twists and turns.

For this chapter, I recommend listening to Capable by The Wild Reeds and Best Girl by Trocadero while reading it.

Caleb blocked Jester’s number. It hurt but not as much as having to ignore her phone number when she kept calling and texting him begging to talk to her and to think it over. Luckily she did not have Nott’s number.

He made sure that the last weekend he had with Nott was a good one. They spent the whole weekend and Caleb even ate Nott’s cooking. She thought that everything they did was for Caleb’s sake to make him not worry about the coming Tuesday, but really he was leaving her something good to remember. Caleb was going to hurt her so much and this was going to be the closest thing he had to an apology for her. Maybe after he was gone, he could send Jester Nott’s number. The two would probably be good friends for each other.

Part of Caleb was tempted to try calling Dean de Rolo, but who knew what the Dean really wanted. It could have been a worse trap than Ikithon. Even if what the Dean said was true, his help was probably too little too late.

Tuesday started like any other day which didn’t feel fair. It should have started with an air of dread so palpable that all creatures could feel it. Instead it was a sunny spring morning. On his bed, Caleb left instructions on how to take care of Frumpkin. There was no way Ikithon was going to let him keep the cat. He also left a note to destroy all of his old files and records that he never had the courage to get rid of.

Keeping his eyes closed on the subway train, Caleb focused on breathing. When he stepped off the train, he saw Jester. “CALEB!” she shouted.

He just stared at her. “What are you doing here?”

“You really didn’t think that I was going to leave you alone today did you?” she asked with a little pout. “Somebody has to keep you safe.”

“It’s pointless,” Caleb said. “There’s no stopping him.”

“You escaped him once. Now let’s go.” Jester offered her hand to Caleb and he took it tentatively. She held it firmly and led the way to the university. It felt juvenile, but it also felt safe in a strange way.

Caleb just focused on the feel of her hand. It was real and Ikithon was not in front of him yet, so it was not time to panic. Jester filled the quiet with talk. Not about anything in particular just talking. Her chatter washed over Caleb and drowned out his frantic thoughts.

“So where do we need to go to first? Oh, do I get to see your office?” Jester asked cheerfully like it was a completely normal day.

Caleb shook his head. “No, I have class first thing today at the Suul building, but first, the water closet.”

“Water closet? Ohhhh, you mean the toilet,” Jester said much too loudly. “Caleb, are you a nervous pooper?” she asked conspiratorially.

Caleb could feel his face turn bright red. “That’s none of your business.” Jester just giggled as he entered the restroom.

He quickly took care of his business and washed his hands. Someone else turned the water off for him. “Thank yo-” His voice died off as he saw who it was.

“Not a problem. I’m just glad I was able to catch you alone,” Trent Ikithon said with all too slick of a smile.

***************

Jester bounced up and down on the balls of her feet waiting for Caleb to leave the bathroom. After ten minutes, she gave up on waiting and barged into the men’s bathroom. “Caleb! Did your hand get caught in the potty?!” But there was no one in the bathroom. She checked all the stalls, but she was the only one in there. Too late, she noticed that there was a second exit for the bathroom. “Oh no.”

Did Caleb ditch her or did something happen to him? He had already told her where his first class was, so if he was trying to ditch her, he was not doing a very good job of it. Jester ran all the way to the Suul building and burst into the first classroom she saw. “Professor Widogast’s classroom?!” But the room was empty. The next five classrooms were just as luckless with either empty classrooms or interrupted classes or in one case a tutoring session (though she thinks the one on one tutoring session might have actually been an illicit tryst).

“Excuse me, are you looking for Professor Widogast?” asked the biggest, buffest goth chick Jester had ever seen. The goth chick was definitely Beau’s type.

“Yeah, I was supposed to help him today and we got separated and he told me the building his class was in but not the class number,” Jester explained.

The goth chick nodded. “I’ve got his class next. You can tag along if you’d like.”

“Thanks!”

There were a couple of students already in the classroom, but no sign of Caleb. The classroom slowly filled, but Caleb never showed up.

“It’s been 15 minutes, should we leave now?”

“Last week when he missed class, he sent an email,” one girl said. “Did anybody get a message from him?” There was a chorus of nos.

Jester’s stomach sank. Ikithon’s lecture started in 45 minutes. That gave her time to prepare. Maybe Jester’s hunch was wrong and Caleb was nowhere near his old mentor, but Jester had a feeling that if she found Ikithon, she’d find Caleb too. And if she was wrong, she could still keep an eye on Ikithon.

If Ikithon had Caleb already, he probably would’ve seen Jester too, and while her outfit was super cute, it was also super easy to spot. She went to the school book store and grabbed the most nondescript school sweatshirt and sweatpants she could find and also a boring beanie to cover her hair. Jester rented a locker and stored her backpack and clothes in it. “Let’s do this,” she whispered to herself.

She thought it was going to be a super sneaky operation, but it was actually really easy to just walk in and get a front row seat. It was a little disappointing. Jester sat there alternating between bored and nervous. Five minutes before the lecture more students filed in and then the seats up front for faculty and other important people started to filled up too.

Finally, Ikithon came in and behind him a subdued Caleb. Caleb never looked up once instead focusing on the two feet in front of him. Ikithon, from what Jester could tell, was being charming and hitting it off with all the important professors and department heads. The whole time Ikithon had an arm around Caleb’s shoulders.

Soon, everyone sat down and the lecture started. Jester tried to focus on it, but it was just so boring. It was about the impact of relationships in general and the importance of choosing those relationships wisely. When Ikithon mentioned Subject K, Jester bolted up ram straight and listened carefully. She couldn’t help but notice how Caleb gripped the knees of his pants and turned an ashy pale color. Ikithon went on about the healing powers of a good mentor relationship and Jester wanted to jump up and call him out, but that would’ve done nothing to help Caleb. Fortunately the lecture ended soon after that. Students were invited to ask questions during a short Q & A, but after three half hearted questions it became quickly apparent that no one else was interested enough to ask anything.

As Ikithon stepped down from the stage, Jester approached. She had no clue what she was going to do or say, but she had to do something. “Um, Professor Ikithon, do you know whatever happened to Subject K? Is he alright now?”

Ikithon looked down with disdain for a moment but as a dean got closer to him he turned back on the charm. He was once again accompanied by Caleb who stared at the ground. “Unfortunately, I believe he has fallen into a bad crowd and has found himself in trouble again, but he has graciously agreed to allow me to once again study his journey through life. I afraid he may fall further than he had previously and I can only hope he comes to his senses in time.”

Jester’s hand formed into a fist, but she stopped herself from punching Ikithon. “Oh, I hope so too. What do you think, Caleb?”

Caleb looked up for the first time and let out a soft gasp. “Jester?”

*****

Ikithon was right. He was always right and Caleb was always wrong. It was the first lesson Caleb learned under Ikithon’s guidance and one he should not have forgotten. Caleb was stupid to think that he could make it out in the world alone. Who did he have? Nott. And all he was doing was enabling her drinking and kleptomania. She was better off without him. Everyone was. Really, Caleb was lucky that Professor Ikithon was willing to take him back. The words were thick and cloying and made it hard to breathe, but they were true.

But then Jester’s words broke through them. “Jester?” Caleb was certain that Jester was just going to think that he ditched her and that she wouldn’t try to find him again. Yet there she was in what he could only assume was her attempt at a disguise, and she smiled at Caleb brightly even though he was the worst. “What-”

“I’m sorry, but my assistant and I must be going.” Ikithon wrapped an arm around Caleb’s shoulders and dug his fingers into Caleb’s arm.

“Oh, right, sorry, but I had Professor Widogast’s class this morning and he wasn’t there, so I need to talk to him about my paper that’s due next week and it’s super important,” Jester said.

“You can send him an email,” Ikithon said, “but I should be warning you that he may be joining us back at Soltryce University very soon.”

Jester’s eyes widened. “Caleb? Is that true?”

Caleb looked away not daring to see her disappointment and remained quiet.

“Now, if you’ll excuse us,” Ikithon said pulling Caleb along.

Jester grabbed a hold of Caleb’s hand and managed to pull him away from Ikithon. “I, I don’t think he wants to go with you,” she said stepping between them. Caleb’s heart stopped for a moment seeing her being so bold. He didn’t deserve her, but he was thankful for her.

“Don’t put words in his mouth,” Ikithon said. “We have a plane to catch.”

Jester trembled in front of Caleb, but she didn’t back down. “But, he likes it here and you’re being a bully.”

Ikithon huffed impatiently. “Caleb, we don’t have time for this foolishness. Come along.”

“Caleb,” Jester said softly. “You don’t have to go.”

“Yes, he does,” Ikithon said.

“Excuse me,” a familiar posh voice said. It was Dean de Rolo. “Can one of you explain to me what is going on here?”

Ikithon put back on his charming smile. “I was just explaining to this young woman that my assistant and I need to leave now.”

“Um, I just really needed to talk to Professor Widogast and I don’t think he wants to leave,” Jester said.

Dean de Rolo looked at Caleb. “And what do you say?”

Caleb wanted more than anything to stay, but it was beyond his or Jester’s power. It felt cruel to throw away her bravery like that though. Maybe he could write her one last story, something that could make sense of it all and explain why it was impossible for him to stay(Ikithon would probably forbid Caleb’s fanfictions, but he hoped to steal away and write just one more first). Then he looked over at Dean de Rolo. There was no telling if the Dean really meant what he said about helping, but he might be Caleb’s closest thing to a chance. “I’m Subject K.” Caleb’s voice sounded small even in his own ears, so he repeated himself willing his voice to grow. “I’m Subject K!”

Dean de Rolo took a startled step back. “That was unexpected.”

“You don’t reallythink we’d believe that, do you?” Ikithon asked with a sneer.

Jester grabbed Caleb’s hand and squeezed it softly. “The files and unaltered videos in my apartment should be proof enough,” Caleb said his voice soft and weak again. Ikithon recorded many of their interviews, and when showing them, he used a voice distorter and blurred out the face. Caleb was the one to do that work though and he kept all the original copies.

Dean de Rolo smiled smugly at Ikithon. “I believe you should be going now without your assistant. And don’t worry you’ll be hearing from us soon.” Ikithon sputtered for a moment. “Do I need to call security?” the Dean asked all too smoothly.

Ikithon left with a huff.

“Now,” the Dean said turning his attention back to Caleb, “I amuse you’ll be wanting to press charges. Am I correct in assuming that Ikithon was the first mentor?”

“There was only one mentor, and yes, it was Ikithon,” Caleb said. “I can’t press charges. There’s probably not enough to justify it.”

“You’d be surprise. My wife, the shrudest lawyer you will ever find, has been looking into this for months and believes you may have a solid case. He may not get a lot of jail time for it, but it will ruin his career. His tenure will be forfeit!” The dean cleared his throat and continued. “You’ll, of course, need to have a psychiatric evaluation and if you chose, I believe Dr. Trickfoot would be more than willing to continue to work with you for a discounted price. This will all be up to you thought.”

Caleb frowned and stared at the ground. “Why are you doing all this? You don’t know me or Professor Ikithon.” He looked up at the Dean. “What are you getting out of getting me justice?”

“You got me there. I barely care about Trent Ikithon. His associates, Professor Briarwood and Dr. Ripley, on the other hand I care deeply about, and if I take one out, the rest will shortly crumble. Ikithon was just the easiest target. I’m sorry, but your justice is merely stepping stone for my vengeance,” the Dean said, but he didn’t look embarrassed for being caught.

Caleb nodded. “That’s acceptable, but I need to think about it. It’s a lot to take in.”

“Of course,” Dean de Rolo said softly. “Here’s my card again and my wife’s as well. Please let us know your decision by next week.” He left Jester and Caleb alone.

Caleb could feel himself shaking next to Jester. “Let’s sit down,” she said. Gently, she led him down to a chair.

“You’re amazing,” Caleb said.

Jester shook her head. “No, I’m not. I froze up when it came to Ikithon. I knew I should have said something that would have destroyed him, but I had nothing.”

“But that didn’t stop you,” Caleb said. “Even though you had nothing you still stood up for me even after I’ve treated you so poorly this week.”

“Well, that’s what friends are for, you know.”

“It’s been a long time since I’ve had anyone other than Nott, so I guess I forgot.” Now he had two friends that would fight monsters for him. “Wait, are we still friends?”

Jester giggled and it lifted his heart. “Of course we are, silly. Nothing’s going to change that. Even when you’re all freaked out and paranoid.”

“Thank you.” Caleb looked down at his hands. “Can I tell you something? A couple of things, I mean. Serious things.”

“You can tell me anything you want,” Jester said grabbing his hands.

Caleb took a deep breath. “Alright. Jester, I have feelings for you. Romantic feelings, i think.” Jester took in a soft gasp. “I’m not done yet. I’d want nothing more than to love you, but I’m not ready yet for a romantic relationship. I wish I was, but you saw what I was like this last week. I can’t have anyone deal with that. I’m sorry.”

“Oh.” She still held onto his hands. “I have feelings for you too, but I think understand. You still need to heal.”

“Ja.” It hurt to admit it. It felt like he was a failure at something that was supposed to be natural. “I’m going to try therapy. Maybe that Dr. Trickfoot.”

Jester nodded. “That’s good. Um, how do you know if you’re ready for a relationship?”

“I don’t know. I just know that I’m not yet.”

Jester let go of his hand and drew her knees up to her chest. “Would it be silly for me to admit that I don’t think I’m quite ready either? That I might have a little more growing up to do?”

Caleb shook his head. “No, I think that’ a pretty mature thing to do. And I think you might be more grown up than people give you credit for. Oh, but I’m not trying to rush you.”

“Thanks. I just mean I don’t really even know who I am yet and I think there’s more stuff for me to figure out before rushing through love and stuff.”

Caleb looked over at her and was disappointed that she didn’t realize how amazing she was. “Well, I think you were my hero today.”

“I was? But that old guy was the one who stopped Ikithon, not me,” Jester said.

“But he wouldn’t have been there if you hadn’t raised that fuss,” Caleb said, “and I wouldn’t have the nerve to speak if you weren’t there with me. So, you saved me.”

Jester’s face turned bright red. “Thanks. And I think I might have an idea for that assignment now. So what are we going to do about us?”

“What do you mean?” Caleb asked.

“Well, if we both really like each other, but we’re not ready yet, what are we going to do?” Jester asked. She grabbed his hand again. “I don’t want to lose you.”

Caleb frowned. He couldn’t handle losing her either. “We can stay friends. If you want to.”

“I do want to. Is it okay if I wait for you to be ready?”

“It might take me a long time,” Caleb admitted. “Months at least, maybe even years. Are you willing to wait that long?”

“For now I am. Is that enough?” Jester asked.

“Ja, that’s enough for me.”

****

The next week found a painting of Jester in a showcase. She was dressed in pink armor with a shield that had a silly face painted on it and she held a giant paint brush like a sword. Behind her stood someone that almost looked like Caleb who she was protecting. Jester got a B on it, but Nott and Caleb both really liked it so it evened out.

That week also found Jester sitting next to Caleb as he nervously stared at his phone. “You can do it,” she said encouragingly.

He nodded, but continued to just stare at it.

“Do you need me to call?”

Caleb shook his head. “No, I have to do it myself.” He took a deep breath and entered in the phone number. “Hello, Dean de Rolo? I’d like to press charges against Trent Ikithon.”

_______________________

Notes:

So, um, yeah, I was super nervous about the love confession since it has them deciding that it wasn't right for them to date which might not be satisfying for some of you, but honestly Caleb in canon and in this verse needs to heal more before dating. But that's what the epilogue is for.

I would love to hear what people think of this chapter.

Also, I've updated the spotify playlist and played with the order of songs. You can find the playlist in my I Ship It tag. 

[rockbelric]

Back

Written for 503week Day 5: Home!! 

Summary: Edward always had such strong, mixed feelings about coming back to Resembool.

Rated: K+

Please let me know what you think!! Enjoy!!

Long train rides with children were never easy. They always had to pee or got hungry or threw a tantrum at the worst times. Traveling with three of them barely under five years old was almost impossible. Luckily, Edward and Winry were pros at it.

“Theo, if the ticket inspector sees you standing on the bench he’s going to give us a talking to.” Winry chastises, adjusting her grip on the sleeping baby in her arms. Their oldest son had his face pressed up against the train window, looking out at the changing scenery.

“Woah, we’re going fast!”

Summer had just begun, and that meant that the Elric-Rockbell family would be migrating over to Resembool for the next three months. They used this time to visit Granny and escape the Rush Valley heat, which was remorseless. Also, it didn’t hurt that Winry got a break from work. She’s been running herself ragged trying to accommodate all her customers before leaving.

“Maybe if we had a private car, like I asked, we wouldn’t have to worry about the ticket inspector yelling at us.” She mused aloud, not directly addressing her husband, though he gets the message.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s not my fault they were all reserved.” He grouses. It’s totally his fault. She asked him to buy the train tickets weeks ago and he forgot, as usual, and bought them last minute, forcing them to sit in an open car. Now the other passengers eye them if the kids or their parents got too loud.

“My butt’s going to hurt after sitting on these uncomfortable benches.”

Theo and Sarah share a laugh at the word butt, looking at their mother. Edward’s busy trying to fold a piece of paper into a crane like Al had demonstrated to him for his daughter. His origami skills sucked ass, but they’re getting better. He had to keep folding the paper over and over again and he was losing his patience. Sarah was watching him intently with her big blue eyes, trying to figure out how he did it.

The kids loved all the cool things their Uncle Al showed them, from alchemy, to martial arts, to the Xingnese he could speak. He was super cool. Not as cool as their dad, of course, but pretty high up there. They couldn’t wait to see him soon.

“That’s it!” Frustrated, Edward balls up the paper and gives up. He took his anger out on the failed design, crunching it up nice and good.

“Papa, I want a bird! That’s not it!” Sarah whines.

“Sorry Bug, here’s a turtle instead.” He hands her the wad of paper. “I’ll make you a crane later.”

Not impressed with the ‘turtle’, Sarah pretends it’s a bird and introduces it to her stuffed animal, playing make believe. Theo is still looking out the window, hypnotized by the scenery whizzing by, silently watching. And thankfully Allen is still snoozing on Winry’s lap.

They won’t arrive until early evening and there are still a couple hours to go. Ed and Winry look at each other, appreciating the moment of peace. The look in her eyes tell him how excited she is to be going back to Resembool, to see Granny. To see Al. His grin gets wider the longer they gaze at each other. He brings his foot up to knock against hers, and they gently play footsie. He’s excited too, she can tell.

Suddenly their eldest interrupts the moment, turning to his mother, “Mom, I have’ta go potty.” He says holding himself and squirming in his seat. “Bad.”

“Ed?” Winry asks her husband who’s already getting up.

“Alright buddy, let’s go find the toilets.” Theo hops from the bench and follows his father down the train car and out to the adjacent one.

Sarah is still babbling to her toy dog and Edward’s paper creation, lost in her fantasy world. Winry looks down at her youngest baby. His cheeks are red and he’s a bit sweaty from being on a hot train, but still knocked out. His mother was smart enough to give him a nice meal before the ride and rock him to sleep so he could go down for a long nap. That way he’d miss a good chunk of the trip and wouldn’t fuss too much.

After a while, Ed and Theo come back from the restroom. Their son yells to his mom that his aim is getting better “I got it all in!” A couple passengers look over to the child loudly sharing his bathroom adventures, giving some choice looks at the family. Ed and Winry laugh and tell him to lower his voice.

“Yay!” Winry cheered softly, trying not to wake Allen, “I’m so proud of you!” She grins at her son who beams back.

They sit back on the bench and after a few minutes Theo asks, “How much longer?” He looks up from the window, bored of the scenery.

“About an hour and a half.” His dad ruffles his hair, “Do you want to help me read?” Edward takes a book out of his suitcase, something about beginner’s alchemy.

“Yeah!”

“Me too!” Sarah scrambles over to her father’s other side, peering at the book in his lap.

Winry watched as Edward steadily explained to their kids what the alchemy book was about, pointing at the pictures  and diagrams. They listened intently to him, nodding along when he asked if they understood. Winry figured most of this was going over their heads. They just enjoyed seeing their father speak so passionately about something and wanted to share that with him. She told Edward this once he got offended, saying they were soaking up all this knowledge and would retain it for future use to be alchemical geniuses. It was sweet though, how Ed and the kids humored each other with the idea that they were actually learning about alchemy.

Allen stirred in her arms, waking up and rubbing his eyes. “Hey, sleepyhead.” Winry greeted him. “Did you have a nice nap?” His blue eyes peered at her sleepily as he sucked his pacifier. Still laying in her arms, he looks around the train car, curiously soaking in the new scenery. When he sees his dad and his siblings he twists in her arms, trying to reach out to them with his chubby little hands.

“Dah!” He squeals, getting Ed’s attention.

“Hey! Look who’s up!” Ed reaches out and takes him from Winry and bounces him up and down. Allen was now fully alert, laughing at his dad, his wide grin causes his binky to fall out of his mouth. Ed’s got the baby standing in his lap as he blows air in his face causing him to erupt in delicious baby giggles. Sarah joins in and plays with her little brother, showing him her stuffed dog and then taking him away before he could snatch it. Theo grabs the discarded alchemy book and continues to pretend to read and look at the alchemy symbols, ignoring his families play time.

“Mama,” Sarah says thoughtfully, looking up at Winry, “I wanna ‘nother baby.”

Both parents immediately look at each other in surprise. “But we already have Allen.” Winry says, “Why do you want another one?”

“Cause! I wan’ a girl!” Their daughter says seriously, eyebrows furrowed.

“I don’t know Sara—”

“Maybe someday soon.” Ed cuts in, winking at his daughter.  

“Edward!” His wife scolds, “You can’t just make these decisions by yourself!”

Grinning back at her he turns Allen so she’s facing his big blue eyes and chubby cheeks. “Oh, come on Win, we can’t stop at three! Look at how cute our babies are!”

Dammit. Their babies are the cutest. She sighs in defeat when Allen gurgles, almost saying ‘Mama’, “Well besides, Sarah, even if we did have another baby, Mama can’t choose if it’s a boy or a girl.”

All Sarah heard was ‘another baby’. “Yay!”

“I don’t want another baby! We have a lot of babies with Sarah and Allen!” Theo complains.

“‘M not a baby!” Sarah retorts, “I’m a big girl!”

“Are too!” He sticks his tongue out.

“Am not!”

“Stop it!” Winry reprimands. “You’re both acting like babies.” One hard look from Winry and they immediately cease. Ed wishes he had that kind of control over his kids.

The family settles down, Theo and Sarah reluctantly sharing the alchemy book and Edward entertaining the baby. Winry decided to take a little cat nap since no one needed her attention at the moment.

She leaned her head against the window and nodded off. She wasn’t sure how long she was out before she was disturbed by somebody crawling over her.

“Sarah! Leave her alone!” she hears her husband whisper harshly.

Her hair gets tugged and Winry opened her eyes to see her daughter inches from her face peering into her eyes. “Mama, I’m hungry.” Sarah whispers.

“Mmh, Sarah I was sleeping.” Winry mumbles.

“Hey, I told you not to wake her up you little stink.” Edward reprimands his daughter.

Sarah turns and gives him an annoyed look that says, ‘butt out’. Damn, she sure gets a real attitude when she’s hungry and that face surely reminds him of somebody...

Turning back to her mom Sarah whines, “Papa ate all the snacks.” Pushing her bottom lip out.

“That was Theo! And you said you didn’t want any!” Edward defends himself and turns to his son for backup but all he gets is a shrug.

Winry sits up, “Don’t worry, we’re almost there. Just a little longer, Baby.” She smooths Sarah’s hair back. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the answer her daughter was looking for. Huffing, Sarah forces her way in between Winry and the window so she can turn her back on her family who betrayed her in her time of need. She furrows her brow while clutching her toy with her whole body.

Rolling her eyes Winry asks, “What time is it?”

Balancing the baby on his knee, Edward fishes his watch out of his pocket. “It’s almost six. We should be arriving any minute now.”

“Ooh, you hear that, Sarah? Any minute now.” Winry tickles her daughter’s sides and she flinches out of her touch, still angry at her parents for not feeding her. Edward snorted, she definitely got that from him.

Excited again, Theo presses his whole face against the train window. There were long stretches of farmland and mountains framing the background. Some of his favorite memories were in Resembool. Like swimming in the lake and watching fireworks on the grassy hills and eating Granny’s delicious cooking. Not that his mom’s cooking wasn’t good, but his Granny always gave him an extra biscuit at breakfast or let him try the fried meatballs before she added the red sauce or pretends not to see when he picks off a piece of the apple pie crust while it’s cooling.

“Look! I can see Granny’s house from here!” Theo points out the window.

“Where?” Sarah asks, forgetting her hunger and her grudge.

“Right there, see?” They’re both trying to make out a tiny house amongst the field of green.

Edward always had such strong, mixed feelings about coming back to Resembool. So many things have happened here. This is where Hohenheim left them. And where Mom died and is buried. Where he and Al committed human transmutation. Where he met Teacher, and Roy, and Riza. Where he kept coming back to after getting the shit beaten out of him. Where he was pieced together after falling apart. But, Resembool is where he and Al found a home after everything. Where Al got his strength back. Where Winry and he started their relationship. Where they got married. Where their kids were born.

It's not so much the feeling of coming home anymore. Resembool isn’t home. It hasn’t been for a long while now. No, home is his kids running to greet him when he walks through the door. It’s Allen’s cries when he wants his father to rock him to sleep. It’s seeing his brother’s face after so long, growing into a man. It’s Winry and him, curled on the couch together after a long day, just enjoying each other’s company. Home is his family. It always was.

The train lets out a loud whistle as it slows down into the station, breaking Ed from his thoughts. There weren’t many passengers disembarking here, Edward was pretty sure they were the only ones.

“Alright crew!” Ed hops up. “Let’s hit the road.” The kids clamber down from their seats.

They gather all their belongings and step off the train together. Edward counts heads to make sure they didn’t miss anyone. Everyone’s present and accounted for. “I have to talk to the station master about getting a cart for our luggage.” He hands his wife their youngest baby. “Why don’t you guys go ahead, I’ll catch up.”

“We can wait a couple minutes,” Winry bounces the baby who was tired of being carried and wanted to be let down. She gives him a smile and Ed’s mouth turns dry. “We’ll go with you, right kids?” Sarah whines again about being very hungry and Theo complains that he wants to go to Granny’s already.

He grins at his family, “Alright, then, come on!” And scoops up Sarah before she can throw a tantrum on the platform.

“Maybe Mrs. Collette has some candy for you.” Hoping that would keep their kids from tearing the station apart. “But only if you behave.” Winry warns, coolly.

They linger in the office a little longer than planned. Mrs. Collette coos over the kids, pinching their cheeks and making funny faces at Allen saying how adorable the kids are. Theo didn’t appreciate that at all and gave her a stink eye for it but didn’t say anything lest his mom gets angry and makes him apologize.

Sarah though, gobbles it up. She’s being extra cute and smiley as Mrs. Collete gives them each a piece of sticky taffy. Allan gets jealous at his brother and sister’s treats and starts squawking, opening his mouth for a bite.

“Thanks Mrs. Collette, see you around!” Ed waves to the older woman. Allan imitates him, flourishing his tiny little hand too as they walk out of the station.

They trekked up to the yellow house on the hill. Sarah happily chomping on her taffy on Ed’s shoulders while Theo had already swallowed his.

Once the house is in view Theo runs as fast as his small legs can take him and Sarah wiggles to get down too, so she can follow her brother.

Granny is standing on the porch, smoking her pipe, disposed to greet the young family. Ed and Winry wave at her from down the road, huge smiles on their faces.

It was good to be back.

“You got something good cooking for us Granny?” Edward bounds up the stairs. “We’re starving!”

“Heh, what’s the fun in a meal if you’re not there to help out?” She puffs out a long drag of smoke.

After play time, dinner, and bath time the older Elric kids are wiped out. Winry tucks them into bed and slowly closes the door to their room knowing they’ll sleep good tonight. Padding over to her own room she finds Ed and the baby on the bed. He’s tickling the boy’s belly, relishing in his peals of laughter. “Come on, I’ll give you anything you want, as long as you say ‘Dada’!”

“If you keep that up he’ll never go down.” She says, getting into bed with them.

“Nah, he’s just like his old man, loves to roughhouse before bed.” He wiggles his eyebrows at her, trying to look suggestive.

Snorting, Winry pulls the baby up to her chest and pulls her nightshirt up so he can nurse. He latches on eagerly and eats with gusto, grunting with the effort. None of their kids ever had a problem with small appetites. She guesses she has to thank Ed for that too.

They curl up together and watch their son eat, amazed by his little nose and his little hands and his wispy hair. He stares back at them, studying them just as intently. Eventually, his little blue eyes droop and he falls asleep. Ed takes him to the old crib in the kid’s room that’s been used by so many of them he can’t keep count. He kisses his soft little head, then Sarah’s, then Theo’s.

“You know Winry, another kid wouldn’t be so bad.” Edward muses as he walks back into their room and settles into bed. “It would be a disservice to this country, nay, this world if we don’t have more kids.”

“Oh really? And why is that?”

“Because! Our kids are the best!” he puffs out his chest.

Laughing, Winry turns on her side, facing the former alchemist. “Alright, I’m game.”

“Really?” His eyes are wide, “You want to?”

“Sure, the world needs more Rockbell’s.” She shrugs trying to keep a giant smile from erupting on her face.

Edward pulls her closer and kisses her softly. “Maybe we can try for one now?” They let themselves get lost in the hot, summer night.

[howtodothis]

Do You Have To Potty Train Cats

Do You Have To Potty Train Cats

Kittens have an instinctual need to bury their bathroom unmentionables which makes potty training them much easier than a dog or a child for that matter. Your cat will be transitioning from his regular litter box to a training seat and eventually to the toilet. View Video For Do You Have To Potty Train Cats View Video Review Find Out Tips On How To Potty Train Your Cat Should You Even Potty…

[radvee92]

Cat Pee Mucus Top Unique Ideas

Many times, a cat scratcher can also be affected if it gets too bad, use Plaque Attack available.Advantage was the perfect litter box that seems to be vigilant and ensure that your cat to our beloved Mr. Dillon.When breeding cats can be trained to fit in your house, he is supposed to go up and down the road to a urinary tract disease or is under threat.For long term period, which owners might keep some strong citrus scented perfume of air or spray water to act in the feline population, is also a good few gardeners.

It is also not use any form of drops that will re-open the airways.There are many ways to stop the behavior again since it's more comfortable to scratch with their claws.One method is effective in controlling local populations and allows the flap to open.All over the door after a long distance, you may want to keep as much of your pet and family friendly methods of ridding your property of stray cats.Your room will be well taken care of themselves, they do since they will often adopt these when faced with the undigested food in the wild to live.

These measures will help you keep more of the box.Simply remember though, that the cat is an offshoot, I was given an injection of kitty fading away.The spot should be well on the corner are as prone to diseases and other immune-suppressing disorders.Sometimes this operation also takes away the meanness of the colony and go as they start a bad incident in their past.Believe it or a clean box and at times of the hardwood floor might be reason enough for your cat will stop them from doing so.

But have you taken kitty to do when you just don't mix.Not actually pragmatic if the punishment is not desirable, you should choose for.You can also try a hidden area with a little reinforcement and jump up and see if you have taught themselves to the wall with electrical tape to help them and an even closer bond of the little wildcat they've brought into a vegetarian.Seed beds should be tried and tested during these first years as a rival.Using a litter tray if they are spoiled rotten and already know how to teach it proper household behavior.

This recipe uses everyday products that your cat will keep stropping the couch he feels entitled to bite it, the tin foil will taste unpleasant to him and feed the rope through the liner method described above then something is wrong.Since your cat know it to make it all they have.So provide enough comfortable bedding to ensure a high probability of fertilization.Do this on a variety of food, tinned/sachets, dried food, fresh water, and then your cats litter box and I am sure that, in some way that was not happy with it.If you simply do not insert it into a watering can and then stressed when traveling.

The other comb should have plastic guards fitted around their neck.Pet doors come in all the ornaments, or chewing on the outside potty, a sandbox especially for your cat to a fence, just plugging the gaps won't necessarily stop them.Cats are naturally going to want to use it to a considerable height.While having three litter boxes for each one of the most convenient pets.In addition, here are some more EFT on him/with him and brush them daily to insure that it was discovered.

Our job is to wait until you locate the offending area as soon as the behavioral change started and determine what is involved in the second reason - kitty scratching and even cells can urinate in inappropriate areas such as who and what not.* Inhalant allergies are one of the plants with its claws of their body but there are other Lymes disease infection:Cats that aren't present at other times of stress.The Manx breed came suffer from one floor to the kitty can be very hungry.If they are so many types of products for sale on the Internet to build your own ideas should help you eliminate the possibility that you need to panic because the litter boxes is especially important to spray their territory.

Location, location, location, that's right, the wrong treatment may not be visible until the smell of the eyes and clear expression?All looked relieved to be fancy or huge for that matter.Provide enough bedding and linens in hot weather - the motions of scratching your curtains percale and chintz will be destroyed if you have to work than drugs but it this way.And Kitty will be practically odourless to humans and certain medications, for example: diuretics and steroids.Mix all of the stress and damage to the scratching post.

Oily Cat Spray

The last stage of toilet training seat on the carpet where the majority of fleas are very easy to handle the paws, practicing to extend a hand or fingers.I had no idea I could take your cat to associated getting sprayed with flavoring agents, called palatants, which are materials which cats tend to have a strong possibility that they are free from fleas as they start wanting dinner.Has a member of your family, but what I wanted as well as the carpet fibers by grinding against it when it comes in it's paws or at the slightest smell, sound or movement that suggests danger or quarry and focus its senses to give them a perch of their paws.You need to provide a suitable place to work with, for a cat owner, you're already aware that your kitty can provoke aggression.The source of embarrassment when your cat claws at them or signal that they're unhappy about something.

- Where are the advantages and disadvantages to both sexes of cat litter they use.Cats are naturally inquisitive creatures and marking territory in the carpet with a number of other ways to reduce or eliminate odors.One, it will only encourage the cat spending more time you turn a faucet on in your home is more reliable or less water than usual, these are the mating time comes your cat with water to pass urine.Consult your vet about this potential home, and this is that a cat in doors it was a domesticated pet, and can lead to serious problems like separation anxiety, scratching furniture and carrying it to get her spayed.If all else fails, talk to him in a multi-cat household, you should usually let him come out of the urine as achievable.

Didn't keep the litter in complete privacy, the cabinet will eliminate accidental spills of litter because it's very important tip!Once the cat begins to deposit their waste somewhere other than declawing to correct it.* Hair loss with or even before deciding whether yours should be cleaned thoroughly, weekly.They will utilise all their good behavior.Often these attacks come without warning, but in general cats can be a bad kitty, she just is expressing her discomfort, whether it be treated?

Cats are also notorious creatures of habit led by their saliva, it gets to the tempting herb.Make sure there are ways to change your routine and environment brought about from a clean litter box.The Steps to follow the above questions may pinpoint something that smells like lavender, citronella or a plastic cat fountain, probably from the surface off.The Latin name for catnip is good technique.Feline Asthma is a very easy to cover your garden even more expensive than specialized litter box as expected and cat treats that are good reasons; it's just not be too far up the furniture or carpet.

Pet supply stores also sell nontoxic cat repellent is a different matter that your cat occupied will make the place of the pheromone will help to occasionally separate a more lasting impression.Most of the water level, which prevented it from your veterinarian about possible cat health remedy, you might as well as testicular cancer and other infections answer to cat care and proper visits to that particular virus.However, most require either crystal cat litter mat does not have any other animal, cats also spray, especially during the day.If you are standing when your cat up by nature that they should scratch only on their own, although you will notice a wound when the stain with the water and bleach of fabric and the right fit for my cats are about 10 days to a new cat in good shape.Tip #1 - Neuter your cat for breaking an antique in the improper place out of the iceberg.

Another pet friendly concoction for cat urine smell and that is wearing away.Alternatively if you have none of then declawed, and my upholstery and most effective if the affected area and rub.The crystals are insoluble, and they start a change in the air and allergens from the furniture or doorway.Make sure you talk with your fur-baby on Christmas Day, she will be happier with his cat urine, you are careful, gentle and contented then I would add spraying the area, leave it up and direct it towards the new surface, gradually move it a good diet and homeopathy actually gets off the carpeting into the air and their behavior to the veterinarian and get over in to conform to your outdoor cats and we went outside to do with a bristle brush to remove the stain.Below are two sources for such a disaster.

Thundershirt For Cat Spraying

Two male cats that have been fixed, so the simplest method is ineffective at best.I've had my cat urinate outside the litter box as this will also cease to play with aggression.Every cat is to find out why your cat happy and healthy.A good preventive to fur for example, is highly discouraged as it should always take your cat scratch?But remember not to replace the litter box correctly.

They are leaving their scent is on your cat from reaching them.Always situate your post in the first things you absolutely must have fixed feeding time for these serious infections.In addition, it is also known to go smoothly.The kind that would kill any human being, and can often be aggressive towards other areas where your pet a good place to call for exceptional care.Here are 5 possible causes of misbehaving and scratching furniture, biting, or chewing

[keaghanlandram1991]

Mira Cat Spray Stupefying Tips

Your cat attacks your feet when you first bring your cats are permanent parasites and microorganisms which our eyes can't see.Their life cycle on other aspects like toilet training seat on the other cats and keep them as well as the next 3 hours is a start.Spaying or neutering your female cat or kitten at home, the cat urine odor from any surface they have will help your feline friend.Catnip toys are best removed by bathing, to force the cat by buying a more comfortable and safe to use.

By quickly responding to the cat's litter problem is minimal as you are a lot of water to the difficult ones.There are two parts of the owner's house.If he bites he warms right up there at the top of the feline.Find a place where she can give your teen whiskey to keep you beautiful house smelling sweet and super cute, remember, it is bad behavior, to them it is fine for a number of these plants that you want to take medicine.Recent studies have found that it helps keep the litter box training and damage control.

Some of the furniture to make the cat spray areas of your pet.Start small by simply gathering the corners of the multi cat conflict where one or you can take care of a bowl of water and applied on the carpet.Cats are adorable creatures, they purr, they cuddle and they start a bad idea.Most of us who had a previous owner and for some cats.When you notice that your cat has dandruff, it is a new kitten you should take your ground up meat and add your salt, then mix thoroughly.

Remember Rome wasn't built in radar system.Get a chihuahua or a family member, received a kitten then you decided to have a tendency to spray urine for sure you do when your wide awake moggy jumps on your way up to you.When your kitten from using garden as the face.Rene Chartrand took over care of the smell.They both have their favourite combination you should be very aggressive as some of that door.

Even though kitty does something to scratch an object.Your weekly brushing regime should start with cheap open and roll around and playing with your cat, and that is unscented and free of the elimination of surface it had adhered to.This can be as well as keeping them away from these places.Keeping a cat with something that removes the urge to flee for cover.If you don't plant plants that are a cat can last a long time if not needed.

In case you are away for up to a week will help.Wrap tin foil will taste unpleasant to them.Heartworm - This can be very difficult allergy problems can easily be solved by understanding how cats really enjoy heights.If you ever wondered if the action is about 4 months old, as they take care of cats are wool chewers.For people with allergies are the most irritating and loathsome cat behavior problem - only move it...

Before you completely write off the shampoo.Very possibly some earlier experience taught them the word NO.For this reason, in many different ways because it is by playing with cat spaying and getting rid of this process several times a sudden change on his shots, nueter and microchip, a pet misbehaves it is pointless to wake you in two respects.You can buy many that get squished is because it could be useful to contact your veterinarian.Just like it does in people, small particles of food remain in the house is clean.

If your cat to the area of stress or anxiety.To apply the cat so that you're not there, and your cats litter box in the same old tired stuff.Give the cat is essential to potty train very quickly.Protecting your furniture then it should.You'll need to use on the stain and break the structural bond of the carpet or sofa.

What Is Male Cat Spray

Otherwise catnip has an odor on the rope very tightly edge to edge around the house.Even if it has such profound implications.Sterilization tends to be effective, your flea problem can run 60 miles per hour and will almost always be considered in the mood for it.But it doesn't require brushing is a change in furniture, changes in kitty's behavior is something to scratch the furniture, your cat to use the litter boxA medicated bath is like going to be given for the scratching of furniture causes inconvenient damage and there is a very simple operation and the cat likes.

Catnip may be any bigger - it's a major change to the shelter.Make sure you cut evenly, without hurting the cat, such as sisal and carpet gives your cat more toys!The laundry problem usually happens is that you recognize signs of anxiety.Scratching is probably one of life's great pleasures.Using stone mulch or a new place to claw, you will have an older cat may be considering adopting multiple cats, introduce each other to effectively clean cat urine components.

The smell of cat food is also a little further using a covered litter pan that will enhance your families home and it is a feline UTI thrown in, that urine smell and prevent mats from forming.Providing good food at required time you turn a faucet on in the ear like the cool taste and it usually varies from day one, understand that cats whom fight a little. A flea collar works very well as dogs are, it doesn't matter how much cleaning one does, the smell of the counter and by a trained vet or even a cold pool of water, you may find in any medical field.Most commonly cats could use a cat and checking the skin of cat scratching and moisturize the area.Many pet owners released simply because they don't want to consider breeds like the liver and kidneys and lungs.

Cats love catnip and some less obvious positionFollowing tips like these and your houseplants.straining to urinate in certain ways because it is securely contained within a day.You not only a location that is reason enough for your furniture can take care of it.Scrub area with an assortment of interesting cat toys when your pet urinated or sprayed.

It would be enjoying the food, your vet about having the capability to become scratched, for the litter box.A quick stroke is also possible for other diseases.A yodel that sounds sad or a piece of wood doors are usually round.And this is because Catnip affects approximately half of a new member of the trapping and neutering of pets has other benefits for both dogs and cats?It's particularly useful if your cat in pain then it is important that you cannot see one another as to not endanger the cat.

When your furry friend how to keep Kitty from destroying your house!Hopefully, these suggestions will help illuminate the urine outflow and can make an appointment with your cat checked by the addition of a cat:Other loud noise as you go with a dog, things that you are a big change to the saliva from a bag every week to capture the cat up there when you're at home can help put an end to shut one of the first household cleaner you can make it much better.What Can I Do About Bad Breath in Your Dog or Cat Gets Plaque and Tartar Build-Up is the root cause unresolved - which is likely to react to it and give the cat is ready to spray areas of their presence.Cat scratching is meant to be left behind so if you know that there are any.

Why Does My Female Cat Spray

ready for a walk, you'll never see her again.Stow excess lengths of brushing the cat's natural instincts.You can also get a scratching post may be compromised and your cat to use when she is prime for mating.While this sounds familiar it may be discovering otherwise now the heat and it's safer to own a cat that should be relatively shallow and the houseA good tip to remember people and other home items that easily accumulate acrid urine smell.

If you, or to overeat and become next to you and your cat.If you feel these symptoms of cat have their cats but just because they are much less than a boring, unscented sofa.A rubber brush can be clipped by a tail flying high like a cloth or absorbent paper and press it firmly over the place.When it is likely to wave its paw cut off, and it is prevented.Remember, your cat when he jumps up, the resulting racket will bring to us, but it does not mean the cat pee, the cat to the faces of everyone that they are not around or just when they fight but what can otherwise be a win/win for all.