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seventhtower · 8 years ago

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FRANK REVIEWS A MOVIE: Issue #3 - IT (2017) Part I

So, here’s the thing: this movie sucks. But in order for me to accurately convey how much it sucks, I’m gong to break this review down into several parts: 1) The movie by itself, 2) The movie compared to the TV mini series, 3) The movie compared to the novel. I think it’s pretty important to address each in its own category and not mesh the three together. That way we can all see why “It” (2017) doesn’t stand up, no matter what the excuse is. But before we delve too deep into the sewers of Derry, I want to start off with things I DID enjoy about the movie. They’re few, but they are note worthy: - Some subtle things: There were a few things in the movie that were genuinely creepy to me, because they were so subtle. Like the kid show playing on all the TVs. Or my favorite part of the movie when the creepy old lady in the background of the library stops and stares at Ben reading the Derry history book. However, as much as I liked these bits, the movie always had a way to fuck it up and go overboard. - Neat visuals: I liked some of the design to a few things quite a bit! How the kids floating around the tower of junk, Pennywise’s blood floating upward when he was hurt, Pennywise’s “deadlights”, even the clown suit started to grown on me even if the makeup didn’t. I applaud some of the concept design, because it was pretty cool sometimes. And the cinematography is included here, because there was a lot of awesome shots. Like Stan fixing the askew painting on the wall, also fixing the camera’s perspective. Neat! - Funny: Some of the kids were great in this movie! Ritchie was hilarious, Bill and Stan were acted great, and Ben was adorable. They did splendid!

Alright, that’s about it for the stuff I liked. Moving on.

Chapter One: “IT” (2017)

DISCLAIMER: I am a VERY big fan of the novel. You will often find me saying it’s basically my bible. A lot of questions I will be asking in this section I already know the answers to. What I aim to show is how an average viewer who is not privy to the novelor has any or no memory of the tv series can have these questions, and can be left wondering. I’m taking myself out of my fan shoes and putting myself in silly ass clown shoes, if you will, and will review this objectively. One of my friends streamed the entire opening sequence on her Snapchat before I saw the film myself and I was able to catch a sneak peak. And what I saw was dreadful. I think the entire film can be summed up with that whole pre-title section. Bad pacing, bad editing, not scary. Something like this: The story starts off with two boys in a room making a boat. The walls are littered with 80’s movie posters (trying hard not to pretend like I haven’t seen that aesthetic recently). Our lead child actor (?) (I’ll be honest by the end I’m not sure if there is a leader of the bunch), Bill, sits in bed sick, while his younger brother, Georgie, waits to be handed the boat. But first he must get the wax to it wont sink. But the was is in the basement! Reluctantly, he trugs down the dark basement stairs and finds the wax. During this slow climb downward a very loud, obnoxious, blare of his walkie-talkie cuts in: his brother reminding him to hurry up. Was that noise supposed to scare me? It didn’t even make anyone in the audience jump. Hmm. He eventually finds the wax and is stopped by a pair of shinny eyes staring at him from the darkness. He shines a flashlight on them and they turn out to be. . . I’m not sure exactly, but they were not belonging to monster. Que loud “scary noise” and a bit of thunder, and Georgie bolts backup the stairs to have some small chat with his brother before he’s off down the street chasing the boat in the rain. I’m not sure how this next part happens, because the camera clearly shows us, from his perspective, that there are two barricades directly next to each other. But he dips under one, and on his way up its revealed there’s another one (even thought they already showed us that) and he smacks his head and collapses. This kids kinda dumb. Anyway, he loses his boat in the sewer and this is where things start to get worse. We’re introduced to Pennywise, the villain of the movie here, as he greets Georgie from inside the sewer’s opening. Why is this kid talking to such a scary as clown? Just listen to it. It’s sounds like psychopath. This kid is dumb. The unfriendly clown chats it up with the not so bright child for a bit, then it cuts away to a woman and her cat opening her porch shutters. Why take the focus on Gerogie and the clown? Why was this so important enough to cut to? She doesn’t do anything. Back to the kid, and he’s about to take off, when Pennywise offers him his boat back. Come on. This clown is legit drooling. And is it cock-eyed?! What in the world. . . No way a kid is going to find this appealing enough to talk to. But, as established, this kids dumb, so he reaches for the boat, and the clowns face warps in a horrific toothy monstrosity of CGI effects. I’m not even frightened about all the fangs, I’m more scared about how bad it looks. Then we snap cut to a close up of It biting down on Georgie’s arm ripping it off. Something tells me that’s going to be the pattern here. . . Loud low scary noise, snap cut to close up of a scary thing. We’ll see. After having his arm bitten off and not passing out from shock or blood loss in a few seconds flat, the kid manages to crawl away yelling, before being drug down into the sewer. The old lady seen before notices the large amount of blood pooling in the rain. Did they really need a shot disrupting the flow the kid and clown just to show this old lady ahead of time? They could have cut that other part out and just shown her here and it would have worked fine. Man. The title comes after in a blaring cacophony of children laughing. And that’s that.

The movie follows this formula pretty tightly. ESPECIALLY when it comes to the scares. Every one of them has a kid in a scary situation then the “loud spooky noise” happens, it cuts away to a close up of a gross face. I thought it was a coincidence the second time I noticed. By the end of the movie I was rolling my eyes. Jump scares lose what little effect they have when they’re predictable. There wasn’t a single thing in this movie that frightened me. There was the creepy bits mentioned in the cool stuff section, but nothing long lasting or made my heart quicken. And it’s not that I can’t be scared at all. Because I can be. But this movie didn’t even get close. The only part that could have potentially made me squirm was when Pennywise jumps out of the projection on the wall. But it is ruined by the weirdly paced slide effect. It kept cutting out to blackness for no reason. It wasn’t like he was slowly getting closer all creep like every time the light went back on. That would have been awesome. But he was already charging at the kids. It felt like a normal scene that had the cut always thrown in as an afterthought. And this is my main problem with this movie. It’s lack of subtlety. Once they have something going for it they ruin it by throwing a million other ideas into the scene. Ben reading the book in the library with the old woman in the background would have been great by itself. But they had to add an over the top chase scene. Instead of creating a sense of unsettling fear build up they opt for loud noises, cheap jump scares, and horrible CGI. And what’s with Pennywise running at the camera all the time? Almost every single instance of him creating the scare for the scene it’s him running head long at the viewer, usually having a weird epileptic shaking fit! How is that scary? And why does it look so awful? It looks as if were designed to be viewed for 3D but didn’t translate at all to 2D. Everything's blurred and frigidity. Isn’t he supposed to be the scariest part of the movie? Then why is he the least scary? Also, the voice It has is a little annoying to me. Its like a weird Jack Nicholson/ Heath Ledger mix. Its both growly and whiny in the span of a few words. I’ve seen a lot of people applaud his acting, but the most I saw him do of worth was drool. But I’m not going to hand out gold stars for physical acting for drool. To destroy the terror, or lack there of, are the Losers Club. The one with the glasses was pretty funny. But sometimes the humor gets a little out of place. Once again, lacking in subtlety. Then kid with the pills, was also the funny one, too? So, there’s two jokers, I guess. But his acting started to get annoying over time. It felt over the top and unnatural. By the way, that kid’s arm was NOT broken when he fell on the table. They show his arm clear as day and it aint broke until the next time they show him. Bill was played well, but his character was written poorly. He must be as dumb as his brother if he thinks he’s still alive to be found. And is his motivation to find his brother, or to kill It? That wasn’t really clear. Bev, I thought was pretty cool. Tough, strong female. Until she’s taken and used as the damsel in distress. Guess she wasn’t that tough. Ben, as a chubby kid at heart myself, was relatable. He was probably my favorite of the bunch. Kind of a nerd, with all the history stuff, secretly in love with a childhood crush. But he probably got it the worst out of all of them. He got it the worst from Henry, the bully, by having his name almost engraved into his stomach, and he also got it the worst from It by having his stomach slashed opened. The later was a bit odd to me, because no one seemed to really care that his stomach was literally ripped open. Not even him. And it wasn’t just a scratch. It was pretty bad. Dude, go to the hospital for that. Then there was the Jewish kid. I like that actor a lot. He had this natural inevitability to his character that was really nice. But he didn’t really do much. Then there’s, what was his name, Mike? Mark? The black kid. He wasn’t even In the movie for a large amount of it. And that’s kinda sad. Because I can see has the potential for some acting chops. And its even worse that all the bonding the kids do in the film, he isn’t a part of. He genuinely had no role other than to provide the gun thing. By the way, I don’t know if he should pay more attention to his Grandfather or something, but I don’t know how he got “I’m an outsider. I should stick to myself.” Form the speech he was given in the beginning. That’s a bit of a stretch. The subtlety knows no bounds even in the end, where the kids literally beat their fears into submission. But they still seemed kinda scared of them though, so, I’m not sure if that worked or not. But to be fair, I probably would have beat that clown, too, after doing that lame ass jig of a dance. Was that supposed to be humorous? I have no idea. But it was dumb. And I saw Ashlee Simpson do it better on SNL. All in all this movie is a cluster fuck. Things feel out of order or timed weirdly. Like why are we told what a leper is like half an hour AFTER we see a leper? All the scenes have no flow or rhythm to them. They feel like small shorts tied up with a very thing thread. For instance, they help Ben and in the next scene they’re friends. It just feels like stuff was missing to explain everything better. There are so many questions out in the air without any explanation. Here are a few: - Why does it keep showing “Silver” on Bill’s bike? Is that important? - What is that tubular building they kept showing? The one on the postcard? Is THAT important? - Why does the Mark see multiple set of arms crawling out from behind the door when it was just his mom and dad that died in the fire? - Ben mentioned a “Bradly Gang”. What’s that? They never mentioned it. - Why is Pennywise a clown in the first place? Is it because Ritchie is scared of clowns? But he was a clown to everyone else, and before we even find that information out. - Was it actually a turtle that brushed by their feet in the lake? Was that important? - Why does Beverly cut her hair? Something her dad did? Didn’t I see that in the new Power Rangers movie too? - Why is Stan scared of the painting? I get that he IS scared of it, but why? They could have set that up better. And didn’t I see a similar painting escapes the painting is in the room thin the new Conjuring movie too? - How does Bev come to the conclusion that thembeing all together is why they were able to hurt It? They don’t know that. They never tried hurting it without them all together. - Does Ben have parents? And seriously, why doesn’t anyone care about his stomach slashed open?! - Why does It attack Mark with mantis hands(?) during the final fight? - Why does It turn into a mummy to attack Ben during the final fight? - Why does It turn into Bev’s dad when we all know she just practically killed him not too long ago. - If It can just capture them all one at a time like he did Bev, why are the rest of them even a threat. - Why does It turn into the demigorgon form Stranger Things? What are those weird lights in its mouth? Why does it make Bev into a psychic? - Why does this remind me of Stranger Things so much? - There are four bullies; why can I only remember two of their names? Who are the other two? Why weren’t they given names? - Why were the bullies even relevant? They didn’t do much that couldn’t have been taken out with no effect on the story. - Is Henry dead at the end? - Why did Henry need to kill his dad? - Henry’s dads the cop from the beginning of the movie? Were we supposed to know that? - How old are these kids? They look so young, but come out of Derry High School. - Why is Henry “looking” for Ben when school lets out? - Did they actually hurt It during the final fight? He doesn’t appear to be wounded, just wet. - Why does his head disintegrate before he falls? - Does the gun thing actually hurt him when Bill shoots him? - How did the kids get out of the sewers? - Why didn’t they try to get more adult help? - Why can’t Bev’s dad see the blood in the restroom? - Why do those old people in the car ignore Ben’s cries for help? Was the balloon supposed to mean they were actually Pennywise? - Why does It have a lair in a such an obvious spot? Anyone can just find the hole in the ceiling and look down and see all the kids floating. - Why did they all cut their hands in the end? Was it like a blood oath? - It feels like there's a book that would explain this stuff better. Is there a book? As you can see, this movie made me have a lot of questions. And some of this stuff felt like it was forced in with no explanation on purpose, but I’m not sure why. And half of those questions had nothing to do with the main story, so I’m really scratching my head on why they were included. In summation, I think this movie had a lot of potential going for it. It could have been pretty neat. But the lack of control to hold back left it bloated with too much junk. The scares weren’t scary, the clown wasn’t clowny, and the kids, while some were good, were somewhat ever the top. I give it it 4/10 Tim Currys.

Continued in “Part Two: ‘It’ (2017) vs ‘It’ (1990)

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davidedwardking · 5 years ago

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The Black Square

It was simply there on one humid morning about six weeks ago. I walked out of my house, looked right on the way to my car, and there it was: a black square in the middle of the street. I thought it was a strange box or something. Thinking nothing of it, I went off to get lunch.

But it was still there when I returned, and this time the neighborhood kids that usually collectively played in the yard to my house's left were now instead off to the right. Circled around the black square, they were talking, laughing, and poking at it with sticks. Something didn't seem right about the scene, so I got out of my car and stood for a moment watching. What was wrong here?

It hit me: they weren't poking at it. They were poking into it.

One of the local teenagers was sitting on the porch behind me, so I knew the kids were being looked after. If it was some strange prank or something, well, I'd hear about it later. I headed back inside and returned to writing that day's story.

Around eight in the evening, someone began knocking on our front door. Two of my roommates were in their rooms with the doors open, but we were all playing an online game together, so we ignored it and hoped the guy in the room downstairs would get it. He either didn't hear it or didn't care, so we sat there listening to the pounding and knocking for about fifteen minutes before one of my roommates logged off the game and stormed down to the front door. I heard, "What the HELL do you want? None of us are parked in your goddamn spot! We never park in your spot!"

That didn't sound good. I left my computer and slid down the hallway to see what was going on. They'd told me stories about Bill and how he insisted that one section of the sidewalk was for his food truck; apparently, he'd go around at literally any time of day or night knocking on every single door in the neighborhood until he found the 'offender.' This time, Bill was looking not for a car owner, but for the perpetrator of the black square prank.

After much arguing, he finally moved on to the next house, but I couldn't go back to playing our game. Instead, I wandered out under evening orange and headed down the street. The black square was odd; its angle seemed to be changing to match me, and I moved my head back and forth a few times rapidly to confirm that it always looked exactly square from any angle.

Anton was sitting in his open garage in a lawn chair as I approached. He handed a man a bag, pocketed a stack of cash, and coughed and leaned back. The stranger hurried away without looking at me. It was not an unusual sight.

Standing in Anton's driveway, which ran straight at the black square and Bill's house beyond, I asked, "Hey, what is this thing?"

"No idea man," he responded. "But it's got me on edge. It's just been there all day. I thought maybe somebody was scopin' me out, but it doesn't do nothin'."

I didn't want to get too close to it, so I picked up a stick. "Kids were messing with this earlier, right? Did anything happen?"

"Nah."

It was strange. There seemed to be some sort of scaling perspective at work. As I moved closer to the square, it grew larger in my sight than the change in distance warranted. Far away the effect had been imperceptible, but up close it was extremely unsettling. It felt almost as if the black square was looming up to encompass me, and might even leap out at any moment.

It was becoming increasingly obvious that this was no prank. The sides were exactly equal in length from what I could see, and absolutely nothing showed or reflected on its surface. I'd seen Vantablack nanofabric in person once before, and that superblack material had definitely left an impression on me. It had felt like staring into absolute void—and I had that same feeling now. The only difference was that my stick encountered no resistance as I moved it forward.

I took one step. The stick still moved freely ahead.

Was it past the threshold yet? It was disturbingly impossible to tell because the square always seemed to be facing me, so I couldn't tilt left or right and get a look from the side. The square also got bigger faster than it should have with each step, so I couldn't get a good idea of exactly where it began and ended. Worst of all, the forward perspective had no landmarks and no shadows. It felt as if I was inside a television show and reaching forward into a CGI background: the studio lights offscreen were still lighting the stick and I was reaching into something that didn't really exist.

I swung my branch left and right. There were no edges to strike, either. The pointed end traversed from ultrablack to the green of Bill's lawn and back with no resistance. It was then I truly understood that we were in trouble.

"Hey Anton?"

"What up?"

He was usually one to play it cool, but I could tell by his subtly concerned expression that I must have looked very strange standing in front of complete nothingness. "Let's, uh—" How to phrase it? "Let's make sure nobody goes near this."

He nodded and gave a nervous laugh.

We didn't have any sort of housing association or community building, so it would really be up to word of mouth. Bill was two houses past ours now, still knocking on doors, and he was doing a decent accidental job of warning everyone. A few neighbors had come out onto their lawns to stare at the thing, and I saw Idil emerging one lawn over. While studying the black square from afar, she shivered and pulled her headscarf a little closer. I smoothed down my shirt reflexively as she approached.

She stopped on the sidewalk just short of Anton's driveway. "What is the square?"

We just shook our heads.

"You call police?" she asked, looking at me.

Anton leaned back in his seat and watched me.

Put on the spot, all I could say was, "Um, I don't think so."

She was visibly confused. "Why not?"

Anton snickered. "Cops don't come here, girl."

"Police don't come this area?"

"Nah. They do, but trust me, you don't want 'em. They don't come here to help."

"Oh." She looked down at the ground, then over to the black square, and then to her front door. She departed without a word.

The rest of the neighbors began to emerge from their homes as Bill pissed them off in sequence, but we did not meet or talk beyond the distant glances of confusion and confirmation. I didn't like that strange square in the street, not one bit, but there wasn't much to do about it. A few people were taking pictures, so I went back inside and put my phone on the charger to do the same.

My roommates and I locked the house up tight that night. We couldn't see the black square from any of our windows, but the mere knowledge of its presence was like a chill in the air. I was the night owl of the four of us, and when the others went to bed, I quietly stacked boxes full of junk from the basement to block the windows—just in case. In the morning, nobody commented in approval of the boxes, but neither did they take them down.

I stepped outside to confirm that the anomaly was still there. This time, I took pictures.

I'd seen more than my share of movies and shows about creepy anomalies, but it was another thing having one actually show up outside my house. In person, there's a balance of risk versus curiosity, and there was nothing we could do about the square without endangering ourselves. We couldn't get too close to it, because who knew what would happen? And we certainly couldn't go inside it.

So it sat there, and, in large part, we ignored it in our day-to-day lives.

But there's also another kind of risk: the unknown, and the stress effects on your community and on your health. Each morning for a week I would look to my right at that eerie black square and wonder if I was being watched. Or, worse, was it some kind of hole from somewhere that might let in horrific entities beyond our understanding? Or hell, even just basic clawed creatures we could understand would be horrifying. A simple wolf or bear on the loose on our street would have been an emergency warranting help, and here we were with the possibility of literally anything appearing at any time.

On a random night that about eight people were over to play board games, Idil asked again if I would call somebody. This time, I agreed.

But who? And how?

I did find some numbers for two local news channels. I sent in my pictures, but they laughed at me and said they looked photoshopped. I insisted that no, it was literally just a black square, and they told me to call back when I had something scarier.

The military was an obvious answer too, but how does one 'call' the military? I didn't exactly have a phone number for 'the military.' Each night for a week, I waited on hold with various desks, bases, and institutions, repeating my story verbatim each time. "A strange anomaly has appeared in our neighborhood and I need somebody to come take a look at it."

Most secretaries hung up on me immediately, but I finally got one that laughed. He asked, "Watching some X-Files tonight?"

I sighed. "Look, I've been trying to contact someone about this for a week. Let's say, hypothetically, that I'm serious. Is there some sort of division or group for that?"

"Let me just call Area 51, buddy. They'll take care of you."

"Come on! There has to be some guy that takes weird phone calls and checks them out, right?"

"Aww, that's no fun. Fine, I'll give you the number."

I had it. Finally, I had it. The next conversation I had was promising, and a military jeep showed up the next morning. Idil texted me when she saw it park on the street, and I hurriedly went outside to greet—one man, apparently. He was only slightly older than me, and he stood staring at the black square with a haunted gaze. As I finally got his attention, he turned his head to look at me and said, "Motherfuck!"

"Right?" I pointed down the street at the black square. "That thing's been sitting there like that for a week and a half."

Finally prompted to move, he went to the back of his jeep, pulled out a tripod and a camera, and set it up facing the anomaly.

Watching him, I asked, "So you're going to call in the big guns, right? Someone will take care of this?"

His only answer was a glance, and then he got in his jeep and drove off, leaving the equipment running.

That was progress, I told myself. Somebody was aware of the issue now, and somebody was on it. Small consolation as the days wore on. One of the neighbors boarded up their windows—and then everyone did. Nobody asked the first house to do it if they had seen or heard something scary. We just did it. That day we went to the hardware store, endured the awkward process of explaining what we were doing to the overly-helpful employees, and then took our boxes of nails and stacks of wood and began hammering into the window frames.

I winced at the first one that went awry and damaged the wall, but I figured our security deposit was long gone anyway. We kept the curtain between the glass and the wood so that the landlord wouldn't notice on a casual driveby, although he would certainly see that the entire neighborhood had suddenly acquired bars and boards. If the area went to shit, would he lower our rent? Doubtful.

Then, my roommates and I got drunk together for the first time in months. The neighbors were doing the same thing in their boarded-up houses and on their lawns, and eventually we had a sort of block party going. It was an eerie thing all being connected and bonded by a common threat—but being unable to mention that threat even as it loomed in the distance at all times. There was nothing we could do about it, so mentioning it publicly was impolite.

As dusk deepened and someone started a bonfire in their back yard, I almost couldn't stand the pressure of what was happening. That thing might turn deadly and kill us all any time, but I wasn't even allowed to mention it without pissing people off! Boarding up our houses? We were all reacting to it! We were all aware it existed and we all knew everyone else knew too, but we couldn't talk about it?! A weird defensiveness was emerging among the conversations I overheard; this was our street and none of us could afford to move away, therefore the black square had to be harmless. There were even people talking about the idea that there was nothing wrong at all—and that talk was growing.

Agitated, I left the block party. I still wanted to drink, but angrily now, so I went to the nearest bar and sat. By pure chance, to my left was the soldier who'd set up the camera equipment. He was half-sloshed already, and he looked sidelong at me while holding the bar to keep himself up. He laughed darkly. "Oh, it's you."

It was almost a relief to see that he was still in town. "You guys going to do anything about the black square once you collect enough info?"

He sat taller and focused his bloodshot eyes on me. "Guys?"

"Yeah, your team or whoever."

"It's just me."

"Oh, well what about the higher ups?"

He downed another shot that had just been delivered. "Higher ups? My whole department got cleaned out by the new administration to 'cut costs' or something. I'm the only guy in my entire building."

My beer arrived, and I took a sip of it while trying to fully understand what he meant. "Like, temporarily? Are you waiting on new hires?"

He gave an exaggerated shrug. "It's been seven months, and nobody talks to me or tells me anything. I just get a paycheck automatically. No emails, no nothin'. I'm thinking maybe they just forgot to transfer me when they got the rest. I don't think anybody even knows I'm still there."

That was an off-putting thing to hear. "Then what do we do about the black square?"

He gave a long drunk belly laugh. "Brother, there are forty-seven anomalies in Ohio alone and I'm the only person in this state left in the department that handles that shit. Just be happy that yours isn't making people crazy or changing your muscle tissue into acid while you sleep."

"What? Does that happen?"

He stared forward at the venue's long mirrored back wall for a moment, unmoving except for the muscles in his jaw tightening as if he was grinding his teeth. After a tick, he suddenly reached over and clapped me on the back. "Nothin' so dramatic as all that. I'm just playin'." He got up, threw some cash on the bar, and began to stumble away.

"Wait!" I called after him. "What's your plan for the black square?"

"Plan?" he yelled back on his way out the door. "You are on your own brother."

I skirted through the crowd and pushed out into the night. "And what about the forty-six other anomalies?"

He just kept walking and soon became small in the distance.

Was it really possible that there was nobody manning the defenses for things like this? Were we simply open to danger with no one to respond? Was the only working plan to hope that nothing bad would happen? What the hell kind of plan was that? I returned home even more agitated than before.

It was about three weeks after the appearance of the anomaly that those that insisted the black square was harmless became the majority. We'd been able to complain about it, make jokes, and watch it fearfully before that afternoon, but the winds changed and I immediately found myself on the outside with no warning. If I glanced suspiciously at the black square, someone would deride me for it. If I tried to measure it to see if it was growing at all, someone would come out on their lawn and tell me to stop and that I was wasting my time. By the fourth week, those reactions became veiled threats.

Bill was standing out on the sidewalk the first day of that fourth week. I had just come home from playing a card game elsewhere, and he approached me rather angrily. "Stop causing trouble," he said without sugar-coating it.

"Me?" He was a large man in multiple ways, and I took a step back warily. "I'm just not willing to accept that the incredibly odd anomaly in the middle of our street is safe."

"The black square isn't causing any trouble," he growled. "You're the problem here. Pissing people off, going against the grain. People wanna sleep soundly and they can't do that if you fill their heads with nonsense dangers."

"If it's nonsense," I asked. "Then why are your windows boarded up?"

He balled a fist. "'Cause that's how it's always been around here. Everybody does it, and always has."

"The hell are you talking about? It was just last month that—"

He slugged me in the stomach.

I backed away. There was nothing left to say. I understood exactly what was happening.

He glared from the sidewalk until I went inside and closed the door behind me.

Two mornings later, screaming erupted from a few houses down. Nine of us rushed out of our houses with makeshift weapons—only to find that the danger had been the night before. Someone's window had been broken, and the wood beyond had been clawed mightily by something that had left traces of azure ichor behind.

I thought that certainly it would be undeniable now. It was obvious that something had come out of that black square and tried to get into a house. The only reason the single father and his two girls were alive: they'd boarded up their windows like everyone else.

"See?" I said to those gathered. "I told you it's dangerous!"

But the single father in question shook his head. "Of course you'd say that. How'd you do it?"

I began backing away almost instantly as all eyes turned on me. "What?"

Bill said, "Yeah, likely what happened. What tool did you use to make those marks? And what is that blue shit? Is it toxic? Did you put Ethan's girls in danger by throwing toxic blue sludge on their house?"

Ethan added, "And you'll pay for that window, too."

"The hell is wrong with you people?" I clutched my bat and continued moving backwards.

Idil came out of her house then, and asked some of the others in the group what was going on in Somali. They backed off, and Bill and Ethan shot me hateful glances.

On the way back to my place, Anton shook his head as I crossed his driveway. "Gonna get yourself killed boy."

Whispering, I asked, "What, by insisting that the physics-defying anomaly in our street is possibly dangerous?"

"Just sayin'. I sit in front of this thing all day every day and it freaks me the hell out, but I don't say nothin' to anyone else around here. Neighbors are more dangerous than that thing, get it? Keep your head down."

I mulled over his words for another few days while the attitude in the neighborhood became openly hostile. More claw marks and strange azure liquids appeared during each night, and Bill started enforcing what he called 'his right to open carry' by walking around on the sidewalks with an automatic rifle slung over his shoulder.

And then Ethan started doing it, too.

It made me tense as hell, but they'd often talked about gun responsibility, and part of me was glad to have weapons around given that something was probably coming out of the black square each night and trying to get into our houses.

At four in the morning on the first night of the fifth week, I heard loud banging on the front door. For twenty minutes I listened to someone pounding and yelling outside until one of my roommates shouted from his bed, "Fuck off, Bill! We don't have to answer the door for you! We're not parked in your goddamn spot!"

The knocking went silent. My other roommate called from his room, "That's the first time he's ever actually just gone away!"

At that, I sat up starkly in my bed. I knew. In that keening instant, I knew. Something had happened out there; some spark. Perhaps the unseen creature had finally gotten someone. Perhaps it had gotten one of the neighborhood children.

I grabbed my baseball bat and put on my tennis shoes. Other than that, I was only in shorts and a t-shirt, but there was no time. Running into the dark hallway that connected our rooms, I whispered, "Get your gun out."

"What?" my roommate asked.

"Get your goddamn gun ready," I practically hissed. "They're coming for us."

There was a crash of glass and the sound of boards being ripped off in the back of the house to punctuate what I'd said, and I heard my roommate jumping up and fumbling around with the case that held his gun. My other roommate just said quietly and fearfully, "They're not coming for us. They're coming for you." In the dark, I heard his door close and lock.

This was no movie situation. I knew this would end very quickly between untrained civilians, and I knew I was at a big disadvantage. If the windows hadn't been boarded up, I would have escaped that way, but I was forced into a corner. I only had knowledge of the terrain and the advantage of surprise. Using long steps to avoid the parts of the floor that creaked, I moved out into the board game room, and a big silhouette moving around the corner became a wide open target for my bat. I swung without restraint and as hard as I could. I'd never tried to kill anyone before, but I was amazed at how lethal my strength felt when the restraints were off.

The bat snapped in half on Bill's head, and he fell to the floor. He limply tried to resist, but I pulled at his rifle while screaming obscenities, and he gave it up while groaning on the floor and whimpering about his head bleeding. I'd won.

But, unfortunately, there were seven more silhouettes behind him.

Ethan was among them, and I saw his face by moonlight as they dragged me out into the street. "This asshole nearly killed Bill!" he shouted. "Proof positive he's the one behind the attacks!"

"You came into my house with guns!" I screamed at them. "You goddamn psychopaths!"

There were twenty other people out there already, many sticking to their own lawns. By the light of the full moon, they watched fearfully. Some of them asked if what I was saying was true.

Ethan yelled over me, "He'll say anything to trick people. Fake news!"

"Fake—?" They were still holding my arms, but I struggled. "This is ridiculous. You've all got guns and you literally just broke into my house in the middle of the night!"

"Fake, lies," Ethan insisted to the neighbors we passed as they kept pushing me and dragging me. As we passed Idil on her lawn, I realized where we were going.

She ran forward and kicked at Ethan. "I did not leave my country just for you to be the same!"

One of the men stayed behind to keep her restrained, and I nearly got away because of the distraction. Unfortunately, they caught me, and continued moving me toward the black square. Even by moonlight, it was starkly visible. "Why are you doing this?"

Ethan snarled, "You know, you monster. I can't let you live after what you did to my little girl."

I could see one of the wooden barricades among his windows had failed. Something had broken its way inside, and red blood was mixed with the azure pools usually left behind. "So you're going to try to kill me by throwing me inside the black square?" I asked loudly so that everyone around could hear. "How does that make any sense if you insist it's not dangerous? That I'm the one who somehow orchestrated these attacks in the night?"

One of the neighbors screamed, "Stop trying to get out of this. Fake news!" She turned and insisted to someone else that I was a liar. "Getting rid of him will stop the attacks."

They were lost. I'd known it, but it was only now that I truly accepted that I was not in a neighborhood surrounded by peers. I'd been living in hostile territory surrounded by enemies for weeks, and they'd become delusional because of their own fear. Living with fear every single day and being unable to do anything about it had turned their fear to anger, and now anger had become violence directed at the only target they could actually reach: their neighbor.

On that first night of the fifth week, they kicked me forward and pointed their guns at me, forcing me to walk into the black square; the unknown source of their fear. It had come to us from somewhere else, but it was now the desperate void at the center of our lives. It was our heart.

I'd never felt more sharp and aware. Adrenaline seared fire through my every nerve as I kept moving forward away from the guns at my back. The dark square expanded rapidly in my sight, but then grew more slowly as I came nearer than ever before. It asymptotically filled half of the sphere of what I could see; I kept waiting to pass the threshold like a door, to see the sides I'd tried to find with sticks and ropes over the last five weeks, but it never came. I kept pressing forward only to find myself still half in the world I knew and half in the darkness—until I turned around and saw Ethan and the others very far behind me. My brain struggled to process the shape or curve of what was happening, but I had the distinct sensation that I could keep walking forever and the black square would remain a giant sail pressed against half of me.

Except I knew there was an unseen dropoff, and perhaps that was the key. Perhaps the door was actually down, and the black square we could perceive was merely a higher-dimensional perspective on it.

I got down on my knees and hands and began to crawl. I couldn't afford to fall accidentally.

"Don't bother!" Ethan shouted in the distance. "You're going over. You're not getting out of this."

There it was. I could feel the edge. Here, the black square was almost exactly half of what I could see around me. Directly above, to the left, to the right, and down. The paved street far beyond Bill's and Anton's houses—part of the street I'd stood upon many times coming the other direction—now met sheer void.

But it wasn't dark.

Light had always been coming up from below. There'd just been nothing for it to reflect from so that we could see it. Light came up from below now, illuminating my face, my eyes, my mind. It was a ghastly light, certainly not ever a color that had graced our world before, and I could see everything by the cast of its deep glare. I'd never seen that color with the rods and cones in my eyes before, but I knew what it was. If you could open a door into the mind and observe the hues within, if you opened that door into the mind of a person being tortured with perfect and exacting skill, you would see the chroma of pain. Not just the feeling of it or the idea of it in thought, but the blood of the concept, the core, as a brushstroke on existence.

For some reason, I laughed—but I did not smile.

I stood and began to walk back.

Ethan held his assault rifle forward. "Don't you come back here. Don't you fuckin' do it!"

I just shook my head.

The other men behind him raised their guns, too, but they were waiting on him.

I didn't slow. I couldn't. As I moved toward Ethan, I told him, "You're human, Ethan. Fundamentally capable of good, or just neutrality, of cooperation, of peace." The words spilled directly from my raw brain and into the night air. "You are not like what's over that edge. Take a look for yourself. You'll understand."

The barrel of his weapon glimmered darkly by moonlight—but the square behind me was blacker.

"What do you mean?" he asked after a moment, the strain of oncoming terror dampening his tone. I think he saw the look in my eyes. Some small fraction of what I'd seen had to still have been lingering in my irises like a rotting reflection gone bad. "What's in there? What's over that edge?"

I couldn't really think at that moment. I put my forehead to the barrel of his rifle and grasped for the trigger under his hands. "Please."

He pulled away in fear. "You're crazy!"

They were no longer a threat now. I drifted past them and back to my house, where one of my roommates peered out his door and apologized and the other finally finished finding his ammunition. "Danger's past, don't bother," I murmured before going into my room and sitting on my bed.

It took six days for my brain to develop a coping mechanism. For six days, I sat and stared at any blank white wall I could find. It was eye bleach, in a way, because it had every color and none. After six days, I felt nothing, and that was my release. To scab and scar over what had happened to my mind, my brain had amputated my emotions.

And good for that. I would feel horrible at the loss of love and joy and friendship and companionship—but I can't.

And that's better than feeling what I witnessed over that edge.

Bill was back from the hospital by then, and feeling rather sheepish. A neighborhood watch had been set up and armed men were taking turns guarding the black square, around which they'd built a wall out of bricks and cement. They knew that nobody would be coming to help. No police, no military, no government. We were on our own, a fact which made Idil sad as she talked to me about the home she'd left, where it had been exactly the same in her village. "This is humans," I told her. "Sometimes we do better, for a little while. Sometimes we don't." She didn't have a chance to reply before Bill came up and sat carefully down next to me on my porch.

He rubbed his bandaged head and said, "Sorry about what happened last week."

I kept watching my armed neighbors around the black square. "It doesn't matter."

"It does, though," he muttered, looking downcast. "We coulda killed ya."

"It doesn't matter," I said again.

He swallowed audibly and then asked, "What'd ya see in there? Think the neighborhood'll go to shit now?"

"Now?" It amazed me that it was right there. It was right there just a hundred feet away. We were alive and standing here breathing air and eating food and having conversations just a hundred feet away from that. "It was always here, Bill. The only thing that changed six weeks ago is that we can see it now."

We don't talk much anymore. The neighborhood is quieter than before. We just sit and wait for the inevitable, each day and each night. The black pit is among us, lurking in open sight, and one day it will spill forth ungodly hordes I don't need to describe because you already know what they look like.

Sometimes we do better. Sometimes we don't.

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cutsliceddiced · 6 years ago

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New top story from Time: The 50 Most Anticipated Movies Coming Out in Summer 2019

Blockbuster film season has arrived, and its first entry will almost certainly be its biggest. Avengers: Endgame opened last week and shattered all kinds of box office records; its reviews have also been extremely strong.

But the rest of the slate of summer movies is just as intriguing: ambitious live-action Disney adaptations, a star-studded Tarantino return, terrifying original horror stories and soundtracks from rock legends. Here are 50 of the biggest summer movies coming to theaters (and, in some cases, streaming in a living room) near you.

Avengers: Endgame (April 26)

If you’ve stayed with the Marvel Cinematic Universe for 21 films, you’ll probably be happy to sit through the climactic film’s monstrous three-hour runtime. Those of the Avengers extended family who survived Thanos’ devastating final attack in Avengers: Infinity War—including Iron Man, Captain America, the Hulk, Thor, and Black Widow—are joined by newcomer Captain Marvel (Brie Larson) to turn the tables against him.

Knock Down the House (May 1, Netflix)

In 2018, a record 529 women ran for Congress. This documentary, which won the Festival Favorite Award at Sundance this year, follows four of them, including Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, as they attempt to overcome skepticism and long odds on the campaign trial.

Long Shot (May 3)

For some reason, beautiful and impressive women, from characters played by Katherine Heigl to Rose Byrne to Elizabeth Banks, tend to fall in love with Seth Rogen in movies. The latest to do so is Charlize Theron’s Charlotte Field, the poised and intelligent U.S. Secretary of State running for president who hires Rogen’s schlubby journalist to punch up her speechwriting.

Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile (May 3, Netflix)

This controversial film about Ted Bundy has received mixed reviews since its Sundance premiere, but Zac Efron has drawn raves for his shivering portrayal of the serial killer. Lily Collins plays Bundy’s girlfriend, who witnesses his descent into a steadily darkening place.

Wine Country (May 8, May 10 on Netflix)

A group of SNL pals—Tina Fey, Rachel Dratch, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Ana Gasteyer, Paula Pell, and Emily Spivey—have been taking real-life vacations together for years. Those uproarious, disastrous trips served as the inspiration for this warm comedy, which is Poehler’s directorial debut.

Detective Pikachu (May 10)

The creatures of Pokémon invaded the real world three years ago thanks to Pokémon Go—but they lacked fur, scales or saliva. This quasi-live-action film, in which Ryan Reynolds voices Pikachu, imbues Pokémon with all of those physical attributes, making them alternately unsettling and adorable.

The Hustle (May 10)

Scam Season never ends. This remake of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels features one experienced con artist (Anne Hathaway) taking a small-time scammer (Rebel Wilson) under her wing, as they embark on a quest to swindle a tech billionaire. Hathaway slips into her British accent and sillier side.

Poms (May 10)

A group of legendary actresses (Diane Keaton, Pam Grier, Jacki Weaver and Rhea Perlman) play women in a retirement community who shake off rust and bad hips to form a cheerleading squad.

Tolkien (May 10)

The $1 billion Lord of the Rings Amazon series won’t arrive for awhile, but Tolkien fans can bide their time with this biopic starring Nicholas Hoult. The film presumably takes liberties, as many biopics do, with the writer’s life; Tolkien’s family recently issued a statement expressing their disapproval.

The Souvenir (May 17)

Two generations of Swintons appear in critical darling Joanna Hogg’s latest film, which premiered to raves at Sundance. A shy film student (Honor Swinton Byrne) enters into a turbulent and destructive relationship which threatens to throw her off her path. Her real-life mother Tilda Swinton plays her buttoned-up mother in the movie.

John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum (May 17)

The legend of Keanu Reeves has only seemed to deepen over time. He returns to play the title character of this cult-favorite franchise, which features plenty of exquisite hand-to-hand combat and canine love.

The Sun Is Also A Star (May 17)

Grown-ish star Yara Shahidi and Riverdale‘s Reggie Charles Melton play star-crossed lovers in this adaptation of the YA novel by Nicola Yoon.

Aladdin (May 24)

Disney hopes that the live-action reboot of its beloved animated take on the Middle Eastern folktale will be a huge hit. For better or worse, much of the recent discourse surrounding the film has centered on Will Smith’s bewildering body paint. “Will Smith as #Aladdin’s genie makes me want to uninvent CGI,” wrote one user on Twitter. Blue paint aside, the film itself looks like a splashy, effects-heavy take on the original.

Booksmart (May 24)

The trope of the Last High School Party has been told time and time again through the years—from Dazed and Confused to Superbad—but very rarely has it been seen through female eyes. Olivia Wilde’s directorial debut features two goodie-two-shoes seniors (played by Beanie Feldstein and Kaitlyn Dever) as they attempt to leave high school with a bang.

Always Be My Maybe (May 29, May 31 on Netflix)

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#AlwaysBeMyMaybe comes out May 31st!

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Randall Park and Ali Wong play childhood best friends-turned lovers in this will-they-won’t-they rom-com. Look out for lots of delicious-looking food, a spot-on D’Angelo impression and a hysterical cameo from one of the superstars on this list.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters (May 31)

The mythical Japanese monster was given a jolt in 2014, when Gareth Edwards’ film was largely praised (though not in this magazine) for its jaw-dropping visuals and action sequences. The sequel features Stranger Things’ Millie Bobby Brown and an array of leviathans and giant brutes.

Rocketman (May 31)

The latest entry of the classic rock biopic boom traces the life of Elton John, who is imbued with flair and an impressively accurate singing impression by actor Taron Egerton.

Domino (May 31)

The director Brian De Palma celebrates 50 years in cinema with this grisly thriller starring Nikolaj Coster-Waldau. The Game of Thrones alumnus plays a Copenhagen police officer tracking down the killer of his partner.

Ma (May 31)

Octavia Spencer has often been typecast as sweet or wearied characters, perhaps in part due to what she terms her “nurse face.” She is far more sinister in this new psychological thriller, in which she plays a woman who begins to terrorize a group of teenagers in small-town Ohio.

Deadwood: The Movie (May 31, HBO)

Fans of the HBO Western series have been begging for a reboot since the show was abruptly cancelled after three seasons. The film, which has been in development hell for more than a decade, will finally come to fruition and grapple with death and memory loss—themes that creator David Milch has confronted in his real life after being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

Dark Phoenix (June 7)

Game of Thrones will be wrapped up by early June, but Sophie Turner’s rise is just getting started. The actor who portrays Sansa Stark on the HBO series will lead the latest X-Men installment; she plays Jean Grey, a telepathic mutant struggling with the power of her alter ego, Phoenix.

Late Night (June 7)

Emma Thompson plays a curmudgeonly late-night talk show host opposite Mindy Kaling—who also wrote the movie—as an idealistic writer and the only woman in the writers room. The unlikely pair attempts to lift the show out of white-male mediocrity and prevent a looming cancellation.

The Last Black Man in San Francisco (June 7)

Joe Talbot’s directorial debut won rave festival reviews for its wistful portrayal of a rapidly-gentrifying San Francisco. A black San Franciscan named Jimmie Fails plays himself as he attempts to reclaim his childhood home in the Fillmore District.

Secret Life of Pets 2 (June 7)

Patton Oswalt, Tiffany Haddish and Harrison Ford join an already star-studded cast of voice actors for the second installment of this chipper animated franchise. Oswalt takes over for the disgraced Louis C.K. in voicing the protagonist Jack Russell Terrier.

Rolling Thunder Revue: A Bob Dylan Story by Martin Scorsese (June 12, Netflix)

From The Last Waltz to Shine a Light, Martin Scorsese has proven that few directors can match his ability to capture the intimacy and kinetic energy of a rock concert. Here, he turns his focus to Bob Dylan—whose life he explored in the 2005 documentary No Direction Home—and his legendarily freewheeling 1975-1976 tour, which featured appearances from Joni Mitchell and Joan Baez.

Shaft (June 14)

The third generation of “the black James Bond” arrives in the guise of Jessie Usher. He is joined by the Shafts who came before him: his father (played by Samuel L. Jackson) and grand-uncle (played by Richard Roundtree, the original Shaft). The last Shaft movie, released in 2000, was directed by the late director John Singleton.

Men in Black: International (June 14)

Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson showed off a crackling rapport in Thor: Ragnarok. The duo reconvenes in this latest installment of the alien franchise that leaves Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones on the sidelines. In this one, Hemsworth and Thompson take their carbonizers to London.

Spider-Man: Far From Home (June 14)

Spider-Man: Homecoming served as a welcome reprieve from the weary darkness of much of the rest of the Marvel Universe. In this sequel to that 2017 movie, Peter Parker (Tom Holland) sets off on a European vacation, where Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) recruits him in a fight against Mysterio (Jake Gyllenhaal).

The Dead Don’t Die (June 14)

Jim Jarmusch, a titan of independent film, wrote and directed a movie populated by what is being billed “the greatest zombie cast ever disassembled”: Bill Murray, Adam Driver and Chloë Sevigny play police officers who lead the defense against a zombie attack on a small town. They are joined, in living and undead form, by Tilda Swinton, Steve Buscemi, Danny Glover, Selena Gomez and Iggy Pop, among others.

Wild Rose (June 14)

A brash ex-convict and single mother from Glasgow, played by Jessie Buckley, strives to become a Nashville country star. Buckley has received rave reviews for the role: “As a musician, she’s terrific, but as an actress she’s even better, with ceaselessly mobile features like a changeable Northern sky,” Leslie Felperin wrote in the Hollywood Reporter.

Child’s Play (June 21)

Mark Hamill, who in addition to playing Luke Skywalker is one of the great voice actors in film and television history for his Joker and other roles, lends his pliable vocal cords to another terrifying villain: Chucky. Aubrey Plaza plays a mother who gifts her son that unsettling doll before realizing it has started murdering people.

Toy Story 4 (June 21)

Woody, Buzz and the gang meet a new friend: a plastic spork with googly eyes and an existential crisis. Tom Hanks, Tim Allen and the rest of the talented voice cast return for the fourth installment of this beloved series—as does the voice of Mr. Potato Head, the irascible, late Don Rickles, whose parts were assembled through archival recordings.

Annabelle Comes Home (June 28)

The Conjuring universe continues to expand and terrify. This film—the third of the hugely successful Annabelle subfranchise—takes place between The Conjuring and The Conjuring 2 and follows the paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga) as they bring home a doll that will soon torment their young daughter.

Yesterday (June 28)

A mediocre singer-songwriter (Himesh Patel) is hit by a bus during a global blackout and wakes up to a world in which nobody but him remembers the Beatles. He begins passing their songs off as his own, kickstarting a long and winding road through fame and disillusionment.

Midsommar (July 3)

Director Ari Aster shocked the world last year with his grotesque and exhilarating horror film Hereditary. From the looks of it, his follow-up will be equally unsettling: it follows a summer festival in a small Swedish village that quickly turns into a bloody competition.

Crawl (July 12)

You’ll probably want to stay away from bodies of water after seeing Alexandre Aja’s latest horror flick. The film sees a daughter and father trapped inside a house during a hurricane—along with a teeming horde of alligators from the Florida Everglades.

Stuber (July 12)

Kumail Nanjiani is a nebbish Uber driver; Dave Bautista is a gassed-up cop. They bounce off each other in this 21st-century take on the odd-couple road trip.

The Farewell (July 12)

Courtesy of A24Awkwafina stars in The Farewell, written and directed by Lulu Wang.

Awkwafina is best known for her uproarious, scene-stealing turns in Ocean’s 8 and Crazy Rich Asians. But she shows off her range in The Farewell, a sensitive family drama in which her character and her family travel to China from New York City to say goodbye to her dying grandmother.

The Lion King (July 19)

The big cats of this computer-generated, photorealistic remake of Disney’s animated classic have some new and famous voices: Donald Glover will voice Simba, while Beyoncé lends her pipes to Nala. But one voice will remain from the original 1994 film: the deep, reassuring tones of James Earl Jones as Mufasa.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (July 26)

Quentin Tarantino’s ninth film—he has said he’s retiring after ten—takes place in 1969 Los Angeles as the city reels from the Manson Family murders. Leonardo DiCaprio took a pay cut to star as a washed-up Western actor; Brad Pitt plays his body double and Margot Robbie is Sharon Tate. Al Pacino, Bruce Dern, Lena Dunham and Luke Perry—in his last credited role—also star.

Dora and the Lost City of Gold (July 31)

Dora, the diminutive explorer, charmed a generation of children on Nickelodeon with her whimsical, low-stakes cartoon adventures. Will those fans follow her into this live-action adventure film? Dora, now in high school, plunges into the jungle to confront a familiar foe (Swiper the fox) with a terrifying new voice (Benicio del Toro).

New Mutants (August 2)

Two months after Dark Phoenix, it’s the little Stark sister’s turn to plunge into the X-Men universe. Maisie Williams plays one in a group of young mutants who are held against their will and attempt to break out of their captivity. The movie is being billed, unlike its more action-oriented predecessors, as horror.

The Nightingale (August 2)

Jennifer Kent’s harrowing follow-up to the global horror phenomenon The Babadook had a successful run at film festivals beginning last summer. The movie, which stars Aisling Franciosi and Sam Claflin, follows a young woman seeking revenge for the murder of her family.

Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (August 2)

The latest Fast and Furious spinoff knows exactly what it is, and so do you: there will be fast cars, flying fists, hair-raising explosions, sweeping waterfront locales, and grandiose paeans to importance of family. Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham frontline this mission against a menacing and cyber-genetically enhanced Idris Elba.

Artemis Fowl (August 9)

It’s been 18 years since the twelve-year-old criminal mastermind Artemis Fowl hacked his way into the hearts of young readers across the world. Seven novels later, the precocious criminal will finally arrive on the big screen in the hopes of kickstarting the next blockbuster fantasy franchise.

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (August 9)

Guillermo del Toro loves his monsters, and especially the ones found in this book by Alvin Schwartz. Del Toro stumbled upon the series at a bookstore in Texas and was compelled to produce this adaptation; it will likely feature a handful of the series’ creepiest and most compelling tales.

The Kitchen (August 9)

Alison Cohen Rosa—Alison Cohen RosaElisabeth Moss, Melissa McCarthy and Tiffany Haddish in The Kitchen.

Tiffany Haddish, Elisabeth Moss and Melissa McCarthy play mob wives-turned-mobsters in this 1970s period drama. They confront rival gangs, the FBI, and their own criminal husbands with barrage after barrage of gunfire.

Blinded By the Light (August 14)

Nick Wall—Nick Wall(L-r) Nell Williams, Viveik Karla and Aaron Phagura in Blinded by the Light.

Sarfraz Manzoor was born thirty years after Bruce Springsteen and grew up more than three thousand miles away. But as a teenager, he came to realize that the existential dread of Thatcherite Britain closely mirrored the “death trap” of Springsteen’s New Jersey. This film, which Manzoor co-adapted from his memoir, Greetings from Bury Park, dramatizes the story of how he turned to The Boss’ music for escape and uplift.

Good Boys (August 16)

Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg specialize in the hijinks of juvenile men. But this film, which they produced, might be their first since Superbad in which the characters’ maturity levels properly match their ages. It centers around three middle-schoolers as they enter the agonies and ecstasies of teeangerdom. Jacob Tremblay, one of the youngest Oscar nominees ever, gets in on their potty-mouthed humor.

Where’d You Go, Bernadette (August 16)

Maria Semple’s 2012 novel about a disappearing mother spent a year on the New York Times‘ bestseller list. Cate Blanchett stars in the titular role; Richard Linklater directs.

via https://cutslicedanddiced.wordpress.com/2018/01/24/how-to-prevent-food-from-going-to-waste

#Time #top stories #IFTTT #news

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vdbstore-blog · 8 years ago

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New Post has been published on Vintage Designer Handbags Online | Vintage Preowned Chanel Luxury Designer Brands Bags & Accessories

New Post has been published on http://vintagedesignerhandbagsonline.com/like-acid-rain-the-trumps-were-hard-to-avoid-in-80s-new-york-fashion/

Like acid rain, the Trumps were hard to avoid in 80s New York | Fashion

Each time Donald Trump Jr speaks his brains on Twitter, I am reminded that you grew up in New York in the 1980s. Do you have any memories of the Trump family you could share with us?

Marina, west London

Marina from west London, you are Bill Paxton. And I am an old lady in a rocking chair, hiding a precious treasure. “Are you ready, Hadley?” you ask. “Ready … to go back to New York in the 1980s?”

“It’s been so long!” I protest. “Just tell us what you remember,” you say soothingly.

And so we leave this Titanic analogy (or is it straight-up cosplay?) and go back … back to my early encounters with la famille Trump. Paging James Cameron: stop faffing around with Avatar 17 and send us some CGI stat!

Growing up in Manhattan in the 80s meant that it was near-impossible to avoid the Trumps entirely. They were like acid rain, or Leona Helmsley – part of the 80s New York atmosphere. And for a while, I succeeded in suppressing the memory that I, for example, shared a primary school teacher with Donald Trump Jr. That’s right, Donnie and I learned our ABCs from the same blessed woman – well, one of us learned them, anyway. Because Donnie has indeed been “speaking his brain” on Twitter, and my memories have been unstaunched. But it is a decidedly unsettling experience to have not encountered someone since they were six years old and to realise they have regressed intellectually since then.

Last week, Donnie tweeted a photo of his daughter holding her Halloween candy and added the unimprovable caption: “I’m going to take half of Chloe’s candy tonight & give it to some kid who sat at home. It’s never to [sic] early to teach her about socialism.” Donnie, Donnie, Donnie. You (or one of your servants) had just taken Chloe out and literally got free handouts. Remember thinking before speaking? I’m pretty sure we learned about it between music and nap time on Monday afternoons. Also, I would like to say, for the record, that other students of the lovely teacher I’ll call Miss B learned the difference between “to” and “too”.

Fatherly advice … Donald Trump Jr. Photograph: Portland Press Herald/via Getty Images

Donnie has also been tweeting smugly about “Hollywood creeps” after the Harvey Weinstein scandal, apparently unaware that his own father was caught on tape bragging about grabbing women by the vagina. (There’s another lesson for you, Chloe: let’s listen to some of grandpa’s comments and learn all about sexual assault!) Donnie, must I be the one to break it to you that your own mother gave a sworn deposition that your father raped her? Ivana later insisted she hadn’t meant rape “in the criminal sense”, while the best spin Trump’s own special counsel could put on this last year was “[Ivana] felt raped emotionally”.

Donnie, you probably won’t be surprised to learn, was not known on the Manhattan schools network as the brightest spark in the toolbox. Indeed, I can’t say for certain that he was the inspiration for Ralph Wiggum, with Daddy-pleasing issues to boot, but I also can’t say for certain he wasn’t. Ivanka, on the other hand, who went to the school across the street from my high school, was always described to me as “actually pretty nice”, and the unspoken but heavily alluded to words at the end of that sentence were “for a Trump”, so make of that what you will.

Anyone who ever picked up a copy of Vanity Fair or Spy magazine from the 1990s will know that the blustering, self-aggrandising narcissist who currently occupies the Oval Office was a blustering, self-aggrandising narcissist and wannabe bigshot back then. My father was tasked, in 1991, with helping Galeries Lafayette, a French retailer, rent space in Trump Tower. Even though this was explained to Trump several times, he somehow didn’t understand that Galeries Lafayette was not Hermès until the store was literally in front of his face. Plus ça change, eh, Trump watchers?

My father also went to college with Trump’s older brother, Freddy, and was friendly with him. I used to love to look through my father’s college yearbook, and there he was, “Frederick Trump, from Jamaica Estates, NY”. According to my dad, Freddy was nice, really smart, easygoing, low-key. He was also, apparently, fond of his family, and he occasionally had his scrappy brother Donald, who was eight years younger, come to stay with him at Lehigh University.

Alas, Donald does not seem to have felt the same familial loyalty. Freddy, an alcoholic, died at 43, and when his father, Fred Sr, died 18 years later, it was discovered that the latter’s will, which Donald helped to draft, specifically cut Freddy’s children and descendants out of the family inheritance. Freddy had a grandchild who suffered from cerebral palsy and the Trump family had helped to pay for his care. But when Freddy’s children sued over their grandfather’s will, Donald promptly withdrew the medical benefits the baby desperately needed.

“I was angry because they sued,” Donald said to the New York Times last year, when asked about this incident, as if that was, I don’t know, justification for depriving an infant of medical care? The final outcome of this charming saga is unknown but one thing we can say for certain is the US is truly blessed to have this guy overseeing its healthcare plans.

So there we are. Those are my hot insights into the Trump family based on my ships-in-the-night relationship with them: Donnie is a fool, Ivanka can at least fake being almost normal and Donald is always worse than you think he can be. Granted, you wouldn’t exactly call any of these revelations, but one of the problems with the Trumps is that there is no depth: what you see is exactly what you get.

Post your questions to Hadley Freeman, Ask Hadley, The Guardian, Kings Place, 90 York Way, London N1 9GU. Email [email protected].

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thegeekdevil · 8 years ago

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Send in the clowns…

It’s the late 80’s in a small New England town. A group of bullied and abused kids band together to fight an ancient evil that’s hunting the children of the town, disguised as a clown called ‘Pennywise’…

“How do you solve a problem like Stephen King?”, asked no-one ever. One of the worlds most popular and successful living writers, King has provided a rich seam for film and television producers over the years, who have often sought to adapt his phenomenally successful work at the first opportunity, with varying degrees of success. On the one hand, there are acknowledged modern classics, such as ‘The Shining‘, The Shawshank Redemption‘ and ‘Stand By Me‘, as well as cult classics, such as ‘The Dead Zone‘, ‘Christine‘ and ‘The Running Man‘. And there’s also a good helping of tripe as well, chief amongst them the barely coherent ‘Dreamcatcher‘ and the recently released ‘The Dark Tower‘, a movie based on Kings most epic work that was years in the making, only to be released to scathing reviews and tepid box office. Indeed, the epic nature of much of Kings work means that it more often finds a more natural home on television in the form of a miniseries, where the many complicated plot strands have more time to develop naturally. ‘The Stand‘, ‘The Tommyknockers‘ and ‘The Langoliers‘, along with many others have been produced this way, and like the cinema adaptations, some are very good and some are not so. Falling into the ‘quite good’ category is the first adaptation of ‘It‘. Produced by ABC in 1990, the series was a big hit on it’s original broadcast, and retains a loyal following to this day, primarily due to the incredible performance by Tim Curry as ‘Pennywise The Dancing Clown‘, the primary manifestation of It throughout the story. Curry’s performance is rightly lauded as one of the all-time great horror performances, and has probably done terminal harm to the birthday party clown industry (which can only be a good thing), but as is the way with Hollywood a new adaptation of ‘It’ has been on the cards for a number of years. Originally being developed by first David Kajganich and then Cary Fukunaga, who got as far as casting Will Poulter as Pennywise, the movie has finally reached the big screen under the guidance of Andy Muschietti, an Argentinian director mainly known for the underrated 2013 Jessica Chastain starrer ‘Mama‘. Has Muschietti done a good job? let’s find out…

The first thing I’ll say is that, considering he wasn’t involved from the beginning, Muschietti has done an excellent job in bringing his vision to the screen. Although the script is still credited to Fukunaga (along with Chase Palmer and Gary Dauberman), it’s been widely reported that significant revisions have taken place (mainly by Dauberman and Muschietti), including the removal of one particularly controversial scene that readers of the book may be familiar with that, even in todays ‘enlightened’ times, would be difficult to film without upsetting lot of people. What remains is relatively faithful to the source material, although the setting has been updated from the ’50’s to the late ’80’s. As such, this has also resulted in some minor alterations to the storylines of some characters, with the very ’50’s based fears of the original novel replaced by more up-to-date ones. These manifestations of It are brought to the screen using a combination of live-action and CGI, and it mostly works very well, with the twisted painting that terrorises young Jewish kid Stan Uris an unpleasant stand-out. All these creatures, however, pale into insignificance compared to It’s most famous form, that of Pennywise. If you already have an issue with clowns (and let’s face it, who doesn’t?) then his appearance here, all long limbs, weird angles and an off-kilter smile, will do nothing to help you deal with it. And if you’re one of those foolish people who claims that they are completely okay with clowns, then this should put paid to that resilience. I’ll talk about casting later, but suffice it to say that Bill Skarsgard (son of Stellan, and cast after Will Poulter dropped out), is superb as Pennywise, using all of his gangly 6ft 4in frame, along with an incredibly creepy make-up and costume job, to convey all of the malice and sheer evil of a creature that eats children in the same way you or I might eat a biscuit, namely often. Put simply, he’s bloody terrifying.

The setting for these horrific events is key to the story (like most of King’s stories, it all takes place in a small town in Maine), and this is another area where the film does well. Taking place in the fictional town of Derry (although actually filmed in Port Hope, Ontario), the picturesque town is as much a character in the story as any of the kids, or even Pennywise himself. It’s a beautiful place to look at, with tree-lined avenues and well-kept colonial style buildings nestling alongside majestic forests and rivers, giving the impression of a perfect town, and the ideal place to raise a family. And of course, it’s all a complete lie. Despite it’s beauty, despite it’s seemingly welcoming nature, Derry is a town with a dark tragic past, where great disasters occur with frightening regularity (roughly every 27 years), children go missing, never to be seen or heard from again, and adults act like nothing is wrong, desperately trying to ignore the evil in front of their eyes. Not-to-mention the fact that there’s a centuries-old demonic entity from another dimension living underneath the town. I don’t think even Kirstie Allsopp could convince you that moving here would be a good idea…

It’s why, when something resembling heroes are required, It falls upon the children of the town to step up. And these are not the cool kids either. Much like in ‘Stranger Things‘, to which you feel this owes a fair debt, these kids exist on the edge of things, bullied, abused, poor, or just ignored, no-one’s idea of saviours. Which is why they’re perfect for the job. While things are initially deeply personal for group leader Bill (Jaeden Lieberher) after his younger brother Georgie is taken by Pennywise he, along with the rest of The Losers Club as they come to call themselves, gradually realise the size of the fight in front of them, and the true scope of the evil underneath their town. The adults either don’t know or don’t care, and the other kids in town, personified in mullet-sporting bully Henry Bowers and is gang, are too busy being horrible to the main characters to help. Considering their importance, the casting of the Losers Club is tremendously important, and Muschietti has come up trumps. Alongside Lieberher we have Jeremy Ray Taylor as overweight introvert Ben, Finn Wolfhard as joker Ritchie, Chosen Jacobs as African-American outsider Mike, Jack Dylan Grazer as hypochondriac Eddie, Wyatt Oleff as thoughtful Stanley and Sophia Lillis as Beverly, the one gal among the guys. Although relatively unknown (Lieberher featured in indie sci-fi ‘Midnight Special‘, while Wolfhard will be familiar to fans of the afore-mentioned ‘Stranger Things‘), all of them are excellent, infusing each character with individual quirks and traits that will be a real challenge to whichever actors get the job of portraying these characters as adults. A particular mention should go to Lillis, who is at times heart-breaking as Beverly, dealing with all the problems of adolescence as well as a Father that takes a little bit too much of an interest in his daughters well-being. Her friendship with the boys provides relief, and the moment she finds the strength to break away from her father may well have you punching the air. If most of the adult characters don’t really register, well that’s sort-of the point. Parents, teachers, librarians, policemen, all are next-to-useless in the fight against Pennywise. As for Pennywise, although he’s been covered earlier, it’s worth repeating that Skarsgard is superb as the clown, literally, from hell. He’s neither better or worse than Tim Curry, he’s just different. He’s thoroughly weird-looking, completely out-of-step with our world, and just about the most unsettling thing you’ll see on screen this year. I look forward to people dressing up as him for many Halloweens to come…

Some people were keen to write off ‘It’, long before it made it to the screen. Delays caused by issues with script and budget are never a good sign, and that’s before you consider the esteem in which the previous adaptation was held (well, Curry’s performance anyway). All of this taken together could’ve resulted in a minor disaster, but happily that’s far, far from the case. The delays simply meant that time was taken to make sure everything was done properly, while everyone involved is keen to stress that this is not a remake of the 1990 series, just another adaptation of the novel, and that’s the only way to look at it (and what’s more, it should finally kill off that ludicrous notion that clowns are all about fun and happiness). Put simply, ‘It’ is an excellent film, full of great performances, with a creepy, unsettling atmosphere that frequently gives way to moments of genuine terror, while Skarsgard should join Curry in the pantheon of great horror performances. At the same time, special praise should go to Andy Muschietti for taking on a project that was so closely linked to another director, and making it his own in every way. Although it’s not been confirmed, I certainly hope that he comes back for chapter two. Following this will be quite the challenge. Let’s hope he’s up to it…

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‘It: Chapter One’ Review Send in the clowns... It's the late 80's in a small New England town. A group of bullied and abused kids band together to fight an ancient evil that's hunting the children of the town, disguised as a clown called 'Pennywise'...

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sending-the-message · 8 years ago

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