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#chan is a girl dad
adorawritesalot · 3 months
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The Cafe
hi everyone! my first ever kpop one-shot (and my longest one ever)! spare me pls
pairing: widowed father!bangchan x cafe owner!fem!reader
word count: 3.5k
warnings: mentions of death, about five curse words, two idiots in love, overthinking, the L word, lmk if i missed anything
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STORY UNDER THE CUT
:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧
Chan was a regular at your cafe. And by regular you mean he comes by every day, 3:12 pm sharp. You would be stupid not to notice him; he’s too beautiful for his own good. His dark brown curls rested peacefully on his forehead, blissfully unaware of the effect they had on you, and his chiselled jaw looked like it could cut through diamonds. It didn’t matter if he was wearing a T-shirt or a coat, you could see his well-built body even through his clothes. He just looked so dreamy to you, and maybe that’s why you were thinking about him on your Sunday shift. One of the two days that he doesn’t come by the cafe. It was hard to wake up at the ass crack of dawn at the weekends long before Chan started going to your cafe. But ever since he first showed up in a black sweater and his hair unruly, asking for an iced americano to-go, waking up for your weekend shifts was even harder.  
“You need a coffee.” 
Snapping your head up quickly, you smiled at your friend tiredly, “Thanks, Hwa. Just what a girl needs at 9 am on a Sunday.” You quickly started making his drink to wake up at least just a little bit. 
“I’m just saying,” he shrugged, “you probably haven’t gotten many customers anyway. Had a long night?”  
You turned around with a fake scandalised look on your face, making him laugh. “You make me laugh, Park Seonghwa. I have a child to take care of!” you cried out jokingly, flailing your hands around. It made him look around the cafe and ponder on how far you’ve come. He had known you for quite some time now, meeting you at one of the many college parties his friends dragged him to. Back then this cafe was real only in your imagination, and he can remember the mental picture of the cafe he had when you first told him about your dream quite well, seeing as it was standing right in front of him. Well, besides the autumn decorations on every surface imaginable. He felt proud of you, and he would come to this cafe even if the coffee sucked. 
“I know, babe, but don’t you think you deserve to at least go on a date? And before you say something,” he put a finger up, making you turn back around, “maybe you can ask a hot customer, ‘cause I know damn well you don’t go anywhere else than your flat and the cafe,” he looked at the back of your head pointedly. 
You keep your eyes trained on the coffee in front of you as you think of a certain customer. Obviously, you’ve thought about asking him out, but what if he was taken? He looked to be older than you, and honestly, it would be a crime to leave that man single. And the second problem was even worse; you couldn’t, for the life of you, function properly when he was just on the other side of the counter. Yes, that may be because you haven’t felt the touch of another human being in quite some time, but you told yourself that it was just because of his stunning looks to keep your sanity.  
“Your coffee’s ready,” you turned around, smiling at him sarcastically. 
“You really don’t wanna talk about it, huh?”  
“No, not really.” 
He looked at you plainly in silence before softening up. “Just hit me up once something happens, please. Or even when nothing happens. You know that our door is always open for you, y/n.” 
“Of course, Hwa. We still have to plan the sleepover, anyway. Now shoo before the Sunday brunchers start coming,” you laughed, and it made him check his watch. 
“Oh god, I left Wooyoung in the car alone for fifteen minutes.” 
:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧
3pm on an October Sunday had never felt as good as that day. Cleaning tables after a long day of being alone at the cafe mixed with your playlist playing softly in the background sounded like music to your ears. Even though it wasn’t by far the busiest day that the cafe had lived through, it felt like it. Your Sunday part-time worker texted you yesterday evening that he got the flu and could barely even stand up, so you told him to get well soon and then cried for an hour, like the responsible boss you are. 
After you finished cleaning up, you set the cleaning timer on all coffee machines to 4pm, turned off all the lights, put on your coat and grabbed your stuff. Stopping the music, you looked at your phone, only to see 3:10pm written on it. That means you can still catch the earlier bus without running to the bus stop and then start that series you’ve been itching to watch half an hour earlier. You add a little skip into your walk to the door, opening it. Just as you stepped out, a body stepped right in front of you. Yelping, you step back slightly, looking up at the stranger who wanted to come into the cafe, only to find Chan standing right in front of you, in that black sweater of his that you saw him in for the first time. 
He took a step back. “I’m so sorry! Are you okay?” 
You nodded at him with a laugh, “yeah, of course. I’m sorry, too. You just really scared me.” 
He then looked at your hand, which was holding the keys to the cafe, and then inside the building behind you, seeing the lights off. His expression falls and a little frown makes its way onto his face instead. “You’re closing? I thought you were here ‘till 5 today.” 
Your expression fell too, “oh my god. I forgot to put up the autumn schedule on Google,” he giggled a little at your expression, “in autumn and winter, we close at 3pm on Sundays. I’m so sorry, this is totally my fault. Do you still want coffee? The machines are not going to start the cleaning process until 4, anyway.” 
He interrupted you with a laugh, “you really don’t have to apologise, it’s nothing. But, um,” there was some hesitation in his voice, “but would you, maybe, no pressure, really, I don’t want you to feel like you have to, um.” He looked down at his feet and then back up at you with a nervous smile. “Would you want to go somewhere? With me. If you’re not busy, obviously.” 
You laughed out of shock, “Oh, um. What? I mean, really?” He smiled, his dimples on display, and nodded.  
“Yeah, sure. Sure, I would love to.” Were you dreaming? “Do you want to go in, then? O-or-” 
“No, no, I was thinking maybe, um, get street food and just go to the park around the corner? Because I don’t want you to spend time making something? Actually, scratch that, that’s just plain and stupid, maybe I should plan something fancier,” rambled Chan, combing his hand through his hair. 
“No, I think that sounds good,” you said, maybe a little too quickly, “I mean, uh, yeah. Sure, sounds good. Perfect, even.” 
“Okay!” There was that smile with the dimples. 
“Okay,” you smiled up at him sweetly, “oh!” Turning around, you locked the door quickly before turning around. “Shall we, then?” 
:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧
The food wasn’t necessarily good, but you would honestly eat worse if it meant you could spend more time with Chan. You were sat on a bench, a first date friendly distance between your bodies. You’ve gotten to know random things about him in the past hour and a half; he is 30, just seven years older than you. You also found out that he works in the local firm that’s ten minutes away from the cafe, which is why he comes to the cafe at the same time every day, and that he likes to make music with his friends. What mattered to you more, though, was how attentive and awfully nice he was. Paying for your food, walking on the outside of the sidewalk, and actually listening to what you had to say came to him naturally.  
“I’m sorry, y/n, but I’ve gotta be somewhere at 5, so I’ll have to go,” he exclaimed after laughing at your previous statement. His words made you check the time on your phone, seeing that it was, in fact, nearing 5pm.  
“Oh, wow, I didn’t even notice it was already 5. Time flies by when you’re having fun, I guess,” you giggle at the hopeful look in his eyes once you said you had fun. 
“I had fun today, too, y/n. I’m glad you had time for me. I’ve been meaning to ask you out for a while now, and I’m happy I finally managed to do it. You’re a great person and even better company,” he stood up and look at his feet, red tinting his ears. 
“Chan,” you started, also standing up, “could I get your number before you go?”  
He looked back up at you for the second time that day. He thought you wouldn’t want anything more with him, maybe just chatting when he gets his coffee, but that’s about it. He let his insecurities cloud his judgement. He thought you were the one who saved this date from being a complete disaster, not knowing that this was the sweetest date you have ever been on. 
Maybe this whole dating thing isn’t as hard as he remembered it to be. Or maybe it’s just your presence that’s making it easier for him. He doesn’t know, but he thinks exchanging numbers with you could be a good idea. 
And as you part ways with him, he waves at you with a giddy smile, dialling the 3racha group chat. You wave at him with a giggle and a bright smile, calling Seonghwa quickly.  
“You won’t fucking believe what just happened.” 
:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧
It’s been almost a month since your first date with Chan. And to be honest, you were in deep. You have been texting him almost all the time, and every time he would come by the cafe, he would stay a little longer, just to see you smile. You’ve gone on different dates in the past month, but your favourites were probably the museum and the aquarium date. 
But today marks the day of the biggest, and in your opinion the most important, date so far. You will be going to a respectable restaurant, dressed in your finest clothes. Seonghwa told you, that he thinks Chan might finally ask you to be his girlfriend, something you aren’t too sure of. Sure, you’ve fallen for him, and you would love to think he’s in the same predicament as you, but your overthinking mind cannot help but worry.  
Especially since he texted you at half past ten in the morning that he can’t go on a date today, because his work will probably keep him busy until late at night. So, you texted him that you understand and that you hope he doesn’t stay in too late, and then took a break to cry in the breakroom. Your mind was screaming at you from every corner of your brain. Why are you crying over this? It’s nothing personal, you’re sure, Chan wouldn’t do that to you, but you can’t help but worry. What if you are just another girl to him, while he is the main topic of your conversations with your best friend? 
Trying to push those thoughts away, you got up from the floor and cleaned up.   
At least your part-time worker doesn’t have to close by herself, you tell yourself to feel better about this whole thing. 
:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧
Chan felt like an asshole. He accidentally put his daughter’s recital on Saturday instead of Friday in his calendar, so he made plans with you. Turns out, the recital is, in fact, not on Saturday. His daughter was talking about it all the way to the kindergarten, all while he was silently cussing himself out. What is he supposed to tell you? Oh god, what if Jisung and Changbin can't come today? Nari would probably stop functioning if she saw two empty seats next to Chan. And then her teacher, who already didn’t like Nari for some reason, would be mad at her. This was bad. 
Then he remembers that he’s talking about Changbin and Jisung, the two guys who were by his side every step of the way. They wouldn’t miss Nari’s recital for the world. 
You, on the other hand? He was planning on telling you everything today at dinner; from his daughter to his feelings for you. And now he had to call off the date. Driving to work had never seemed this long. His mind was running through all the possibilities. He wasn’t stupid, he knew he should’ve told you sooner. Chan was just too scared to say anything. You were probably the best thing that’s happened to him ever since the death of Nari’s mum. What would he do if he fucked this up, too? 
Brushing it away as best as he could, he texts you that he won’t be able to make it to the date due to work and that he’s sorry. Because he truly was, and all he could do was hope that you wouldn’t take anything personally. 
Thankfully, his day at work went by quickly. Nothing out of the ordinary popped up, and so he could leave peacefully at 3 pm. He really wanted to see your smile and get coffee, but he knew he couldn’t, so he drove past the cafe to Jisung’s place, where he would be picking him up. Thankfully, Jisung lived quite close, so the drive didn’t take too long. Chan pulled up to his friend’s house like he had a million times before, unlocking the car as he saw Jisung standing there. 
“Hey, Chan,” he greeted enthusiastically, receiving a greeting back, “you excited?” 
“Hell yeah. This is Nari’s biggest recital so far. I just hope everything goes well.” 
:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧
“Excuse me, sorry, excuse me, sorry,” he muttered as he passed people to get to their chairs. 
Changbin looked at all the parents around them, “Gods, when did these people even get here? I thought we were gonna be the first ones here.” He received an enthusiastic nod from Jisung. 
“Well, we were, but then Channie hyung just had to talk to Nari’s teacher,” Jisung rolled his eyes jokingly. 
“Sorry I care about my daughter.” 
A beat of silence passed through the group. Changbin and Jisung held eye contact with raised eyebrows until Jisung averted his eyes to look at Chan, “you okay?” 
“Yeah, of course, why wouldn’t I be?” 
All three of them knew he was fucked with that response. 
“Is this about y/n?” Changbin asked, already knowing the answer. 
The lights started to dim, “we’ll talk once the recital ends.” 
:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧
He stood up, clapping proudly as he looked at his daughter. She waved at him with the biggest smile on her little face, and he knew he had to make things right. He turned to Jisung. “Could you go to Nari? I have to talk with Bin.” 
Jisung nodded sombrely, seeing as he wanted to hear this conversation, but ran off happily to his niece.  
Changbin sighed, “so, what did you do?” 
And so, Chan tells him. Changbin knew that he hadn’t told you about Nari, but he didn’t know Chan wanted to tell you today. Chan tells him how he lied to you, and how it’s slowly eating away at his conscience. And mainly, he tells him, “I don’t want to love her, Bin. I don’t like what that means to me.” 
“What do you think it means, Chris?” 
“It means I have something to lose again, and I’m not strong enough for that anymore,” he whispers harshly. 
“Well, if I can, I’ll tell you what I think it means,” Changbin started, “I think that means having someone who can help you bear all your problems. It means having someone who is here for you all the time. But mainly, it means having someone who loves you unconditionally, Chris. And from what you’ve told me, she’s great at all of these things. And she would probably be great with Nari, too. Nari would love her,” he paused, wondering if he should say it, “Nari will love her. But you gotta let her.” 
“But, Bin,” Chan tried to reason. 
“We both know she would want you to be happy. And if that means being with y/n, which I personally think it means, then she would want you to be with her.” 
Chan finally looked back up from his shoes to his friend. Chan knew he was right. Changbin was always right. But what about you? Would you even want him? 
“Stop overthinking and go tell her how you feel, please. I’ll cry if you don’t,” Changbin joked. 
“But Nari-” Chan began, only to get interrupted. 
“We’ll take her home. Go make things right,” he replied, pushing Chan to the entrance of the building. Chan only smiled before he took off, taking long strides to his car. 
:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧
You sighed as you wiped down the last table. It was almost 5 pm, which meant you were closing for the day. It wasn’t your normal schedule, but it was the annual maintenance day, so your customers knew about this.  
All you wanted right now was a tub of ice cream, a cheesy romance movie to make you feel even worse, and three boxes of tissues to cry into. You knew this was stupid to cry about; after all, it was just a cancelled date. But what if this was just one out of many? Maybe he just didn’t want you anymore, or he never wanted you in the first place. 
And maybe you could just cry over a man on a random Friday night. 
You stopped the playlist sombrely, turned off the lights, and grabbed your things, seeing it was eleven minutes past five. You were supposed to be sitting in the best restaurant in the city right now. 
A ring of the bell above the cafe’s door interrupted our train of thought. “Sorry, we’re closed for the day,” you turned around, only to see him standing there, dressed in that damned black sweater of his. 
“Chan,” you breathed out, “what are you doing here?” 
Chan froze for a second. He was finally here, after sitting in the traffic for ten minutes. He had plenty of time to think about what he was going to say and do. Problem was that he forgot all of it the moment he saw you. And so, his heart took over. He took quick steps towards you. He stopped just short of you.  
“I’m so sorry, y/n. I need to tell you so much, but first I want to apologise. I haven’t been truthful with you in every aspect and,” he took a breath,” I’m just so sorry. Could we sit down?” 
And as he told you about his late wife and his daughter Nari in one of the cafe’s booths, you felt like a complete asshole for overthinking this. Of course he didn’t tell you, dumbass. You wouldn’t tell yourself either. A few minutes of silence were all it took for you to realise what Chan had just said. 
“Chan,” you started, trying to find the right words as you stood up, “be honest with me right now, please. Do you see this thing between us going somewhere serious? I get that you lost your wife a few years ago, and I’m really sorry to hear that. And I get that you have a daughter, so you probably won’t want her to meet me this soon or anything, but-” 
He kissed you. 
He kissed you, and it felt like all the tension from your shoulders fell right between the two of you and then dissipated into thin air. His kiss felt like a breath of fresh air although you were losing your breath slowly, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. Your hands found their way around his neck as his hands traced your waist, bringing you even closer. 
You then parted; you were both breathing heavily, but Chan’s face had that dimpled smile you’d fallen for.  
“I’m sorry, I just had to shut you up, y/n,” he giggled, “I do see this going somewhere and I do want you to meet Nari as soon as possible, because I don’t think I can handle another day without letting you know I love you. I love you, y/n.” 
The smile you had on your face could probably brighten any of Chan’s dark days, and he just wanted to kiss you again. 
“I love you, too, Chan.” 
:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧
THANK YOU for reading! friendly reminder that my asks are open!
asked to be tagged: @bangtancultsposts
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not-an-enstarrie · 2 years
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nya rawr ^__^
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luvxiem · 5 months
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y'know when 2 people fall into a 1x1 hole in minecraft and literally cannot do anything without accidentally hitting the other yeah that's how close i wanna be to luca rn. ideally we would meld together into some abomination of flesh and bone. or i just. slip underneath his skin. i'm sure we can both fit 🥰🥰
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metalandmagi · 28 days
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I didn't watch that many anime last season, but I did watch Sasaki and Peeps which I think should count as like...five different shows. Magical girls. Psychics. Domestic pet dad. Isekai. Economic and political thriller. Even a dash of restaurant anime in the beginning. And all without making it into a harem, despite the way it looks. They really threw everything but the kitchen sink into this show. It's truly a feat of animation.
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Bang Chan more like Dang Chan
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minbinchan · 6 months
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Oh my god I just woke up and open twt and the first thing I see is a promo video of chanlix for the return of superman??? I'm not gonna be able to handle the cuteness when that episode airs 😭😭
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xen-10 · 1 year
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My Pico Day submission from awhile back dis year :0
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sysig · 11 months
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Family matters (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#Yanderapy#So this one's a bit convoluted but hang with me lol - y'know how I mentioned that I came up with their names quite quickly?#But also how I specifically mentioned that Mitsuru's name was easy for me? Lol yeah Ishida didn't really want to play nice at first#I got Ishida quickly so that was no problem but I kept waffling on his first name#I knew I wanted it to be something to do with his placement in his family but that was part of the problem!#That meant I had to think about siblings! And if /he/ got thoughts about siblings then so did Mitsuru! And then everything exploded lol#But that is how I ended up with Ichiro (lit. firstborn son) and then the rest of the family dynamics unfolded from there#He's being silly in the last one lol - he never had a twin that he consumed he's not a chimera - but his parents did want more children#They didn't lose any or anything they just had a lot of trouble conceiving until they finally ended up with Ichiro#They named him according to their wishes but he ended up being an only child anyhow - at least so far but considering he's 23 now lol#And that leads to all the thoughts I did with the Maeda family! All the Maeda kids were planned very carefully#Well - by their parents anyhow lol I made them for the meme hahaha#They're all exactly four years apart give or take a few months haha#Makoto is basically a carbon carbon of their dad and Kanoko of their mom - Mitsuru got the proper mix of genes between them#He's also the youngest so he has the perfect mix of being babied and looking up to and wanting to be just like his older sisters#I love the sisters already ahhh <3 Makoto got married to her wife in her late 20s and Kanoko started dating just a year before Mitsu did#Also for the record Kanoko-chan does like men she just currently has a girlfriend lol - Mitsu also likes girls but he currently loves Ishida#Oh and Kanoko got her nickname (Kinoko (lit. mushroom)) from Makoto when they were little and it stuck haha#It suits her since she's a basement dweller lol#I had so much fun with this family ahhh <3 They're all so cute!
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natsu2501malo · 1 year
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Remember how Tomo nicknamed Carol cotton candy on ep 2??
Well when Carol invited Misuzu to a shop to have cake, the name of the store was "Barbe à Papa" which means....
You guessed it!! It means cotton candy in french!!! What a coincidence right!?
(Although if you want to get technical, and translate it word for word the shop is called Daddy's Beard. Do with that what you will. XD)
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needlxd · 1 year
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          kitiara has a girlfriend who loves the casino as much as she does. she is winning at life.
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ceramicbird · 10 months
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so i've seen the sara mini episode.
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astraystayyh · 3 months
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pieces of you
single dad!chan. x fem!reader
genre : neighbors!au. fluff. angst. slow burn. mutual pining. 8.7k wc
summary : In which you and chan are each other's missing pieces. Alternatively, Chris and his daughter come knocking at your apartment asking for flour, and he's no longer embarrassed when you open the door.
a.n. : my chris best girl dad agenda is going strong!!!!!! my second fic for the winter falls collab with my writer xi hehe i hope you will all enjoy reading!! feedback is highly appreciated 🤍 the song chris will write for sowon is light by sleeping at last, highly recommend listening to it!!
winter falls masterlist.
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i. 
“I can’t believe you’re making me do this.”
“Shh, daddy smile.”
Soft murmurs linger just beyond your door, elusive words that could easily be dismissed as figments of your imagination. However, any doubt in your mind dissipates with three resounding knocks, jolting you from your momentary contemplation. 
A reluctant groan escapes you as you glance down at your attire—a loosely hanging oversized hoodie, a testament to the numerous times it has been tugged down, and a pair of pajama pants whose matching top has mysteriously vanished. Clearly, you don't feel presentable enough to welcome anyone at this late hour. So, you remain motionless, futilely lowering the TV volume in hopes that whoever's behind the door will just continue with their night. But the knocks persist against your wish, so, with a resigned sigh, you rise from your seat, your blanket cascading to the ground in a soft descent.
“What–” the words dissolve in your mouth like a sweet nectar as you open the door, your eyes beholding no one in your periphery. A slight tug at your pants draws your attention downward, only to find the most adorable child your eyes have ever laid on. She's clad in Rapunzel-themed pajamas, wolf slippers bumping into your plain ones, and, to your surprise, a whisk cradled in her small hand. 
“Hey there,” your voice softens as you crouch to meet her warm gaze. You find an innocent happiness gleaming in her eyes, a radiant spark shining even beneath the corridor's muted light. Two dimples adorn her cheeks as she smiles at you. 
“Hi, my dad wants to tell you something,” she says, pointing with her whisk to the very end of the hallway. You crane your neck, trying to catch a glimpse of the elusive figure. 
“Your dad?”
“Mm. He’s a bit shy, that’s why he’s hiding,” she confides in a whisper. But, despite her earnest attempt, her words still resound loudly in the vacant space, causing giggles to spill out of your mouth. 
“And you aren’t shy?” you inquire, tilting your head. 
“Nu-uh,” she shakes her head with conviction as someone emerges behind her. She instinctively wraps an arm around their leg, nestling her cheek against their thigh. 
She isn't shy because she feels protected.
You rise from your place, eyes locking with a familiar shade of brown. Only these hold a mesmerizing quality to them making your very breath catch in your throat. Kindness pours from his gaze as it travels down your face, a sentiment that further materializes as delicate smile lines stitch around the corner of his eyes.  
He’s beautiful. 
Your eyes trail down to two pairs of dimples, mirroring the ones of his daughter perfectly. She is his living portrait, sharing his eyes, lips, and smile. Yet, his cheeks blush in a hue she does not possess, while his left hand fiddles with his earlobe, in an unspoken, timid gesture. For some odd reason, it pierces straight through your heart.
“Sorry for bothering you,” a smooth Australian accent rolls off his tongue, similar to rich butter spread on warm bread- it infuses your being with tingles pulsating from the base of your toes. You suddenly no longer miss your blanket.
“I'm your next-door neighbor. We were just making cookies and we realized we actually  don’t have flour,” he explains, a bashful smile imprinted onto his lips. 
“You didn’t check beforehand?” you ask, laughter tinting your voice. 
“I forgot,” he admits, but his tone sounds almost sad as if beating himself over it. A fleeting shadow veils his face briefly, dissipating like a passing cloud grazing the sun.
“Can we borrow some from you? I told Sowon that we could go to the store but she said it’s too cold out,” he asks, his hand resting on his daughter’s shoulder soothingly. 
“It is too cold out,” you agree with a frown, looking down at Sowon to which she smiles brightly, happy to have your support. 
“And of course, I'll bring you flour. Don’t worry about it. Do you want to come in meanwhile?”
“It's okay, we'll wait here. Don’t want to intrude.” 
“Thank you!” Sowon beams, her missing tooth in full display. 
“Yeah, thank you so much…” he trails out, tilting his head as if to silently inquire about your name.
“Yn. And you?”
“Chris.”
“Nice to meet you, Chris,” you smile, shaking his extended hand. His fingers wrap around your palm, and it feels as if you’re grasping thunder, crackling with an electricity that your eyes can’t behold, yet your soul does, suddenly illuminated from within. 
Your smile grows as you detach yourself from his hold, before bending forward to bop Sowon’s nose. “And nice to meet you too Rapunzel.” 
Your words make her hide behind her father’s leg, peeking out slightly to look at you. 
“See I'm not the only one who gets shy,” Chan chuckles, and Sowon whines in complaint, further burying her face in her dad’s grey sweatpants. 
Adorable, so much it stirs a long-forgotten melancholy within your being. 
“She gets a pass, she's still young, right Sowon?”
“Are you calling me old then?” Chan fakes outrage, bringing one hand to his chest while the other cradles Sowon’s back. 
“Old enough to forget about flour,” you wink and he laughs, looking down at your slippers. 
“Touché.” 
A few minutes go by before you come back, a recipient full of flour in your hands. The sight before you makes you pause in your tracks– Chris, leaning against the wall, Sowon propped on his hip, her arms loosely hanging around his neck, her eyes closed. 
“Did she…” you whisper and he turns to you. 
“Yeah, fell asleep,” he smiles fondly, tucking a few strands of her hair behind the curve of her ear. “She’ll be disappointed when she wakes up to no cookies. She wanted us to have a baking holiday tradition.”
“You don’t know how to make them?” 
“No, I was counting on a six-year-old to assist me,” he chuckles quietly, prompting a snort from you. 
“Well, keep the flour, in case you need it again.” 
“Thank you, Yn,” he grins, the smile taking over his entire face, grabbing the recipient from you. 
“You’re welcome Chris,” you say, as you both linger around the door still, not making any attempt to move. 
Your eyes refuse to peel away from his, as if there were a magnetic force drawing you to him, telling you that your gaze belonged to rest on him.
“Uhm,” he clears his throat, leaning away from the wall. “I'll get going.”
“Yeah, sleep well, Chris.”
“Thank you,” he smiles before turning around. 
An idea brews in your head, a germ sprouted by the clear adoration in which Sowon gazed at her dad, and the disappointment in his face as he said he would no longer be making cookies. Had you wished to dig a little deeper, you would’ve also found a long-buried feeling of a little girl who would have loved holiday traditions as well. You close the door before heading straight to your kitchen. 
One hour later 
You knock softly on Chris’ door, fidgeting from one foot to another. You almost retract back to your apartment after your fourth knock, when the door finally opens, Chris coming into your line of sight. 
“Hi,” you greet, hands behind your back. 
“Hey,” he smiles, leaning his arm on the doorway, right above your head. He tilts his head to the side, silently wondering what you want. The words dissolve in your mouth at the way his eyes fixate on you as if trying to peer behind your irises onto your mind. 
“Cookies,” you bring the plate before him, as his eyes grow wide, an incredulous smile drawn on his lips. 
“You made them?” 
“Yeah, didn't want Sowon to be disappointed,” you shrug and his eyes grow wild, racking all over your face in disbelief. 
“You didn't have to do this,” he finally says, tone softening, syllables ringing like a sweet sonnet in your ears. 
“I know. I wanted to. and I'm a baker so making cookies comes easily to me, don't worry about it,” you shrug sheepishly, biting your lower lip slightly. You felt scrutinized by him in ways you haven't felt before. 
“Thank you, Yn, I don’t even know what to say,” he says, his smile resembling a beam of light. A surge of pride courses through you at managing to bring it forth. 
“No need to say anything. I hope I didn't wake you up,” you smile sheepishly and he shakes his head. 
“No, I- I was working in my studio and Sowon is asleep. It's just us two. Always has been,” he adds, tone slightly changing, air growing heavier between you both. It's just them two. 
“Studio?” you inquire, hoping to dispel the tension latching around you both. 
“I'm a music producer,” he clarifies. “I made a studio here so I could stay the night with Sowon.” 
“I'm sure she appreciates that,” you say as you hand the plate to him. His fingertips brush against your own, and a slight electricity courses through you at the touch, the hallway suddenly brighter from the fireworks ricocheting off of you both.
“I…. I'll get going.”
“Yeah, yeah, don't want to take more of your time.”
“I'll see you around.” 
“Yeah, I'll see you,” he says, words not ringing carelessly into the air, sounding more like a promise. He'll see you, he'll make sure of it. 
ii. 
“Can you wait!” a voice echoes near the building entrance, and you prevent the elevator doors from closing as hurried steps near you. 
You recognize the voice easily by the light tingles running down your spine, the Australian accent shooting straight through your heart. Its owner materializes, Chris— leather jacket hugging his muscles snuggly, black t-shirt tucked into a pair of blue jeans, cap nestled on his head, rebellious strands of ebony hair peeking behind it.
You find the breath knocked out of you once again at his sight. He's beautiful, even more so in broad daylight, where every feature of his comes to life, beckoning, demanding your sole attention. 
“Hey, Yn,” he smiles in delight, uttering your name in a familiarity that infuses your being with warmth. Even though you've only talked once, two days ago. 
“Hey, Chris,” you greet back, pressing the fourth elevator button again. you face the mirror to find Chris already looking at you, his eyes instantly locking with yours. 
“The cookies were good,” he smiles softly and you grin. “I'm glad you think so.” 
“Where is your bakery? I need to taste more of your baking.” 
The butterflies in your stomach tone down at his words, your attraction momentarily forgotten as gratitude coats your heart instead.
“I can text you the address?” you propose. 
“Yeah, here,” he takes out his phone, a picture of him and Sowon set as his lock screen— their cheeks are pressed tightly to one another, messily done eyeliner on both their eyes. you giggle to yourself as you grab the device.
“Cute picture,” you muse and he brings an arm to his neck, scratching the side of it timidly. 
“She insists on trying her makeup on me.” 
“She makes you look better,” you giggle and he rolls his eyes, tongue poking against his cheek. 
“She wants to become a stylist,” he explains, as the elevator doors open. He lets you out first, arm stretched forward.
“I find her passion really cute so I buy her anything she asks for,” he shrugs and you chuckle, pointing to the bag of pink ribbons he is carrying. 
“Let me guess, she wants to use these on you?”
“Yeah. She also said that I quote ‘need to learn new hairstyles because her friends always come to class with intricate braids, and she can't go to class with a simple one.’” He repeats, tone growing slightly high-pitched as he mimics his daughter's words. Yet, the fond smile on his face is louder, screaming of his love for her. 
“She has you wrapped around your finger,” you muse, leaning against your door. The keys in your bag are long forgotten. 
“She can be very scary for such a little girl.” 
“What does she threaten you with?” you ask, feigning horror. 
“No goodnight kisses,” he whispers, as if scared she'd hear him beyond the wooden door. 
“Torture,” you gasp, placing your hand on his shoulder reassuringly. Yet, the smiles slip out of your face instantly. Was it normal for clothes to dissolve under your touch, layers of cotton and leather doing nothing to stop the warmth of his skin from seeping through you? Was it normal to be so affected by such an innocent touch? 
“Uhm,” you clear your throat, “I can help you. with her hair, I mean.” 
“You don't have to. I already took too much from your time with the cookies,” he seems truly apologetic, his tone sobering as if despising others doing things for him. You see yourself in him, in the way he wants to carry the world’s burden on his shoulders. It is a reflection you wish to mend. 
“I don't mind, I remember feeling jealous of the other girls in my school so I made myself learn all the braids.” 
And then you see his gratefulness, the twinkle in his eyes that you can only grasp for a millisecond before they disappear into moon crescents. Happiness looks grand on him, overtaking his entire face, brightening his features with a glow too ethereal to be of mankind, as if they were carved to translate joy. You find yourself willing to give up more of your time to see it.
“Thank you,” he breathes out and you nod, a grin taking over your face as well. 
“You’re welcome. Let me just change my clothes.” 
☃︎⋆꙳•❅
“And then, you pull the right strand all over to the middle one. Then you repeat, this way the ribbon is braided into the hair,” you explain to a very concentrated Chris, his eyebrows furrowed as he follows your movements. 
“It looks easy when you do it,” he frowns and you giggle, handing the mirror to Sowon so she'd be able to look at her hair. 
“Do you like it,” you ask, a tad apprehensive and she beams, dimples that almost swallow her chubby cheeks surging forth. 
“Pretty!” she exclaims and you giggle, bopping her nose. “You are pretty.”
“And you are pretty too. right, daddy?”
You turn back to find Chris watching you, a smile so fond on his face that it renders your insides putty, coats your cheek in the palest shade of pink.
“Very much so,” he says, tone quieter, his eyes never leaving yours. 
Sowon suddenly climbs on her dad’s lap, star and moon stickers in hand. She places them all over his face, and he sits there diligently, arms wrapped around her midriff so she won't slip away. Every carefully placed sticker is punctuated by a soft gasp from him and a small giggle from her. You could feel the love radiating from both of them, a feeling so strong it made your heart twist in your chest. 
Were there red neon exits you weren’t aware of in your being? Ones through which love trickled away all these years ago? Were the spaces between your fingers carved to hold someone’s hand, or to make everything you've ever wanted slip from your grasp?
“What do you think?” Sowon startles you and you force a smile on your face, willing the heaviness in your heart to dissipate. There were questions you'd never find the answers to, you had to make peace with that.
“I love it!” you grin and Sowon nods, satisfied. You look down at your lap as Chris fixates his eyes on you, a worried crease growing between his eyebrows. 
“Fun is over, you need to do your homework, Miss Bang,” he scolds and you snort, as Sowon rolls her eyes slightly. 
“Did you just roll your eyes at me?” he fakes offense and you giggle as Sowon huffs slightly. “Dad, I told you I have no homework. I already did it with uncle Felix.” 
“Oh, right,” he deflates slightly before brightening up once again, “then, you should put away all these hairbrushes and ribbons, okay?”
“Will you watch a movie later with me?”
“Of course, baby.”
“Okay then,” she grins, quickly standing up to start putting away her things. you smile, getting up your turn to leave. Chris understands and stands with you on cue. 
“You can stay and watch the movie with us.”
“It's okay, I have some things to work on,” you turn around, but then you feel his fingers wrapping around your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. 
“Are you okay?” he asks, hand still burning straight through your skin, igniting a million nerve ends with a simple touch. You avoid his eyes, looking down at the ground. It seems to be response enough for him. 
“We’re conditioned to say yes even when we aren’t, right?” he speaks softly, his words travel through your veins in a rapid course against the current of your blood— which one will reach your heart first and flood it? 
Your facade cracks. His voice wins. 
“So, you don't have to reply now,” his thumb swipes once across your pulse. “But I'll be here if you ever wish to tell the truth.” 
iii.
You’ve grown exceptionally fond of Chris in the span of mere months, more than you would like to admit to yourself. It was an easy task, as natural as the current of a waterfall. Yet, you did not plan for it, for a new emotion to settle on top of your lungs, to make you more aware of your heart and how it beats, slightly faster, around Chris. But it happened serendipitously, against all odds, when he knocked on your door at 10 p.m. asking for salt.
“Should I start buying groceries for you?” you joked, and it took Chris a millisecond longer to respond, his gaze wandering across your face, as if discovering the world’s eighth wonder, hidden in plain sight all these years. 
“For my defense, I have a daughter that likes experimenting with cooking,” he smiled, and you raised an eyebrow at him. 
“Just with salt?”
“She added four teaspoons of it in an omelet. Then forced me to eat it because I always tell her food shouldn't go to waste,” he shudders at the memory and you chuckle loudly. 
Chris knocks on the doors of your heart, once.
It happened when you spotted a cockroach the size of your palm on your bedroom wall. You would’ve killed it, you were going to, except it started flying towards you and you let out a loud shriek you didn’t know your vocal chords were capable of conjuring. So, you called Chris. 
“Can you please come over,” you murmured, crouching near the entrance door, a pair of slippers in your hand.
“Why are you whispering? are you okay?” he sounded worried, and you heard the turning of a lock as he opened the door to his apartment. He didn’t ask questions, instantly coming to your aid. A sudden urge to weep filled your being at his gesture. 
“There is a cockroach. a flying one,” you precised, horror dripping from your tongue and his laugh flooded your ear, tiny squeaks that made your hold on the slipper grow limp. 
“I'm from Australia,” he knocked on your door, and you stood up promptly. “I've seen worse,” he said once you finally opened it, his eyes softening incredibly when they met yours. 
He did kill the cockroach, by spraying your insect repellent enough times to asphyxiate you too. “I don't think I can sleep in there tonight,” you sighed, gulping down ice cold water, “why does it feel like we went through war?” 
“We? You were behind my back all the time.”
 “I was cheering you on, from afar. Spiritually.”
 “I can’t believe a cockroach scares you this much.”
 “You literally screamed when it flied towards you too.”
 “I didn't scream! I made a very manly, non-terrified sound.”
 “Mm, sure,” you giggled, voice softening at the blushing of the tip of his ears. Chris didn't have to force the door down to your heart, you willingly opened it for him. 
And after that, it was a race to find the silliest excuses to see one another. Chris suddenly taking up an inkling for baking, you manifesting a newfound interest in music, Sowon needing her makeup done for a dance, Chris visiting you in your bakery, Sowon craving your cookies and you teaching her the recipe, Chris knocking on your door and you knocking on his. The same giddy smiles on your faces as you usher each other in. And it always, always ending with a movie night. 
“Let's watch Tangled,” Sowon exclaims, clapping her hands excitedly. 
“Baby, we watched this movie for the past…” he looks at you for support. “Three,” you whisper, a bashful smile on your face. “Yeah, for the past three movie nights,” he whines slightly.
“But I love it,” she says, her pout morphing into a huge grin. “Again! Again! Again!”
“Fine,” he concedes, mouthing “save me,” from afar to you. You giggle softly while Sowon cozies up to your side, your arm naturally draping across her body while her legs stretch atop Chris’ lap, naturally, as if having you both by her side was the way things have always been. The only reality she’s ever known.
It is a fleeting fifty minutes as the three of you watch the movie, Sowon reciting excitedly the lines that she seems to remember. But then the quiet is replaced by her soft snores, her body growing light against you.
“She fell asleep,” you whisper, tapping Chris’ shoulder to catch his attention. He tilts his head to the side, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips as his eyes land on his daughter. 
“I'm sorry you have to watch the same movie every time,” he says apologetically and you shake your head. 
“I don't mind. Tangled is a good movie.” 
“Are you here just because of the movie?” he smiles, dimples peeking through. The juxtaposition between the weight of his words and the soft expression on his face makes a buzzing warmth spread through you. He’s cold and hot, in and out, yours but not. 
“What do you want me to be here for?” you throw back, squeezing his shoulder slightly. 
“The company.”
“I do find Sowon entertaining.”
“Just her?” he pouts and you giggle, tipping your head back. 
“And you too, I suppose, by extension.”
“By extension, mm,” he hums, as he gathers Sowon in his arms, freeing her from your hold. “Then I guess I shouldn't come visit you in your bakery anymore. Since you only enjoy my presence by extension.”
“So sassy,” you shout-whisper as you both walk to Sowon's bedroom, “I like your company too, idiot.” 
“Yeah?” he turns back to look at you, tone a tad bit too hopeful. He doesn’t care that he sounds eager for your approval, not when he feels as if he can only truly breathe when you're near. 
“Yeah, Chris, I really do,” you speak earnestly, and Chris bites his lower lip slightly, suddenly overwhelmed by the gentleness of your tone. Your eyes follow his action instantly. 
He lowers Sowon gently onto the bed and she stirs awake, blinking repeatedly at the both of you. “Yn,” she calls out quietly once her eyes land on yours and you kneel before her bed. Chris watches from the door entrance as Sowon cups her hand near your ear, before whispering something to you. He notices your body stiffening, your gaze fleeting to him before you relax, pressing a kiss to her cheek. 
He wishes he could freeze time, stitch this moment into his eyelids until it is the only thing he sees when he goes to sleep. Loneliness is too big of an enemy for one person to fight off, but it seems more harmless when you are near. 
Chris sees you right here, every night, not forcing your place into his family, but falling seamlessly into place. Perhaps you were the missing piece that’ll soothe the burn in his heart. Perhaps he’d let you in, even as fear paralyzes his being at the mere thought of asking you to stay. 
One week later. 
You've grown used to the knocks on your door at ungodly hours of the night, Chris seeking your company each time you both fail to fall asleep. Except this time, there is a chilling premonition in your heart as you walk to your home’s entrance, anxiety coiling like a steel ball in your throat. 
“What’s wrong?” you ask upon opening the door, locking eyes with Chris's bloodshot gaze.
“Sowon,” he heaves, tone laden with fear, so different from how he usually pronounces her name. The syllables pierce through your heart like an arrowhead dipped in alarm. 
“Sowon?” you question, peering behind him to his slightly ajar apartment door.
“Yes, she has a high fever, and it won’t come down. I tried everything, and I-I don’t know what to do anymore. She’s shaking, but I can’t—”He trembles, his quivers akin to delicate chinaware on the precipice of an earthquake, poised to shatter at your feet. You'd plunge to the ground first, anything to soften his impending collapse.  
“It’s okay,” you soothe, your voice soft as you grasp his wrist. “Let’s go see her, okay?”
“It's her first time being this sick,” he whispers, clearly distraught, one hand running through his freshly dyed blonde hair. 
“It's okay. Don’t panic, it happens. Did you give her medicine?”
“Yes, a few minutes ago,” he replies as you guide him towards her room.
“Good, it'll start working soon,” you reassure, opening the door and crouching before Sowon.
“Hey, Rapunzel,” you coo softly, and Sowon attempts to muster a smile. Her cheeks flush, eyes dim like withered petals.
“How are you feeling?” you ask, pressing your hand to her feverish forehead. You cast a wary glance at Chan, who's anxiously biting his thumb.
“Cold,” she whispers, and you nod, peeling off her blanket. “I know you are, but you have a high fever. We need to let it cool down, okay?”
“I-I’m shaking,” Sowon sighs, lower lip protruding and trembling, both from the iciness clawing at her frail being, and the tears welling in her waterline, like a cup on the brink of overflowing. 
“Shh, don't cry. It will pass, it's okay,” you murmur soothingly, cradling her face on your lap, gently moving damp strands of her hair behind her ear.
“Chris, can you bring me a towel and a bowl with cold water?” you ask softly, and the man startles, painfully peeling his eyes away from his daughter, as if doing so would consign her to a dark fate.
“Sure. Sure,” he repeats, scurrying out of the room.
Sowon buries her cheek in your thigh, small hands clinging tightly to yours. You tie her hair up into a loose bun as Chan hurriedly comes back, a bassinet in his hand.
“Thank you,” you smile, as he kneels beside the bed, his hand resting on Sowon’s knee gently.
“Hey sweetheart,” he coos softly, and Sowon blinks at him, light spilling over her face. 
“Hey daddy,” she replies as you dip the towel into the water, before squeezing the fabric to remove any liquid excess. 
“You're being so strong. I love you so much my pretty girl,” he says, bringing her small hand to rest upon his cheek, bestowing a gentle kiss on her palm. 
The moment feels so intimate, so tender, that you almost feel like an intruder. You imagine this is what thorns on roses must feel like, so out of place amid delicate petals and stems. 
“I love you too,” she grins, and you remain silent, diligently wiping her face and neck with the dampened towel. You soon lose track of the number of times you've repeated this motion, but Sowon’s eyes are now closed and her body is no longer trembling. 
You rest your palm upon her forehead, a sigh of relief escaping your body as you realize that her fever has gone down noticeably- the medicine finally taking effect.
“It's better now,” you smile reassuringly and Chris’s eyes widen, irises shaking as he looks back to his daughter. 
“Will she be okay?” 
“She will be. She just needs to sleep a bit.” 
“Okay, thank you.” 
“Can we prepare her something to eat meanwhile?” 
“Mm,” he absentmindedly nods, his fingers trailing down Sowon’s features delicately, resting upon her round cheeks. 
"She looks just like you," you softly smile.
"I know," he admits, not with pride but in surrender, as if his reflection was nothing but a cursed fate. His voice tastes like ocean water, salty, acid, suffocating.
“Chris…” you trail off and he shakes his head, abruptly standing up. 
“Let's make her chicken noodle soup. She loves it,” he says and you nod. A ticking bomb resides in his veins, devoid of a countdown, leaving you unsure of when he'll finally explode. 
You get your answer soon after—it takes two minutes and thirty-three seconds for the first tear to roll down Chris’s cheek. You spot it as you retrieve carrots from the fridge, averting your gaze as Chan angrily wipes it away.
A few seconds later, five tears follow the same agonizing trail, and now the knife is shaking in Chris’s hands. He squeezes his eyes shut as if frustrated by his pain, by the emotions escaping through the cracks in his heart.
You stay silent, bringing the water to a simmer.
The clank of metal against the counter snaps your attention, and you see Chris with his head lowered down, his hands tightly clutching the counter.
Your tongue moves before you can order it to speak. 
"Chris," you call out, your hand finding its place on his back. An ugly sob escapes his lips, a raw cry unearthed from the depths of the soil where he buried his feelings, never allowing himself the grace of grieving, then moving on. 
“I'm a horrible father,” he utters so brokenly as if this idea were cemented into his head, woven into every thought of himself—an adjective that lingers like a phantom each time Sowon calls him dad.
“You're not, what are you saying?” you gently turn him around so he'd face you. But his eyes remain downcast, as if ashamed to meet your gaze. 
“I didn't know what to do. I panicked. I-I wasn't enough to help her.”
“It's okay, you can't know everything, you are trying your best-”
“No, no, no, it's not just about this!” he snaps,  despair clinging to his eyes as he finally looks at you. “It’s hard. It’s so hard to be here alone, and I- I try but it's not enough, I can't do everything and I'm not a good enough parent for her, there will a-always be something missing.” 
“You're wrong,” you say but he shakes his head in disagreement. “Chris, you're wrong,” you cradle his face, taking you both by surprise. Your thumb swipes gently underneath the skin of his eyes, wiping his cascading tears. 
“You love Sowon. And she can feel it, she can see it, she can hear it. Everyone can. A parent can't be perfect, but they should love. And you love her.” 
“What if I can't even love her enough for a father? How will I ever fill the role of two parents?” he's leaning onto your palm, hanging onto your every word. You'd sit for hours and untangle every thread of his mind if you have to, until you single out the infested one and burn it away. 
“She loves you Chris. She looks at you as if you hang every star in the sky. As if you're responsible for every good thing that happens in our world. She loves you and you love her.”
You gaze up at the ceiling, tears welling in your eyes. Chan notices the subtle tremble in your hand against his cheek.
“If I had someone who loved me as much as you love Sowon when I was a child, I would've turned out so differently,” you smile bitterly, swallowing down the lump in your throat. 
“You won't be a perfect dad. You can't be. But she won't grow up with a throbbing heart, pulsating because of a void that cannot be filled. Her veins won't be poisoned by hate and abandonment. Because she knows what it's like to be loved,” you pause, as your voice breaks, traitorous tears rolling down your cheeks. “To be cared for.” 
Your eyes hold his in a silent conversation, secretly telling him what your tongue cannot speak of— Sowon, an untarnished blossom, won't unfurl into a solitary flower the way you did.
“I'm sorry,” he whispers after a while, eyes softening in understanding. His knuckles brush gently against your cheek. 
“Why are you apologizing?” 
“So you'd find a reason within you to forgive,” he says, as he leans forward to press a tender kiss on your forehead. And somehow it feels more intimate than any way you've been touched before. 
Five days later.
chris [11:32 p.m.]: you up?
yn [11:32 p.m.]: i just got bad flashbacks to my college years
chris [11:33 p.m.]: ajaksjsbsbbs
chris [11:33 p.m.]: i didn’t mean it like that ㅠㅠ 
chris [11:33 p.m.]: wanna come over? i'm in the studio but im not feeling inspired 
yn [11:34 p.m.]: and how will i help? 
chris [11:34 p.m.]: i find your presence inspiring 
You don’t reply, instead putting on your slippers and walking over to his apartment. He opens the door before you even have the chance to knock. 
“What are you working on?” you ask once you’re settled atop his chair, spinning around slightly. He looks down at the pillow on his lap, lightly plucking its pink fur. “A song for Sowon,” he admits softly and your eyes grow a little wide. 
“That is so sweet,” you pout, inching closer to him. “How is it going?”
“I've finished the melody and now I'm working on the lyrics. There is just.. so much i want to tell her, i'm unsure if ill be able to express it well.” 
“Can I read what you wrote?” 
“Yeah. Yeah, sure,” he searches through his papers. “Here.”
May these words be the first to find your ears
The world is brighter than the sun now that you're here
I'll give you everything I have
I'll teach you everything I know
I promise I'll do better
I will soften every edge
I'll hold the world to its best
And I'll do better
Tears spring to your eyes unexpectedly, you try to stop their flow but they fall upon the paper, splattering like a broken mosaic, mimicking the brokenness of your own heart. 
“I'm sorry,” you spin around, your back to him as you attempt to dry your tears, and yet they show no desire to stop. Chris is in your heart and he’s kicking every other emotion out, forcing you to make amends with your sadness, the one you buried years, years ago. 
Chris gently grabs the back of the chair, pulling you back to him before spinning your chair once again until you are facing him. You bury your face in your hands and his rests reassuringly on your knee, squeezing it slightly. “Is it so bad it made you sob?” 
“Shut up, you know this isn’t the case.” 
His hand delicately traces up your arm, gently lifting your fingers from your face. He kneels before you, his thumb tenderly wiping away the traces of tears on your cheeks.
“Talk to me?” 
“It's so beautiful, so warm, so loving. Everything a parent should think of their child,” a traitorous hiccup escapes your lips. “Everything my parents never felt for me.” 
Chris’ mouth morphs into a pout, eyebrows scrunching tightly. You shake your head, smoothing down the worried crease between his eyes. 
“I don't feel sad over things I can't control and I love myself enough now to compensate for what I didn't have, but sometimes-'' your voice breaks, Chan’s hold on your hands tightens. “It stings to remember what could’ve been.” 
Stings was an understatement, it is rather a pulsating void, throbbing in ache every day, calling out for its missing piece. How can I fill you with what was lost when it chose to walk away? 
“Come here,” he whispers, coaxing you to your feet, his arms enveloping your body as he guides your head to the crook of his neck. His body runs warm, the material of his sweatshirt soft, and he smells nice too, the contours of his muscles tailor-made to complement the ridges of your own. 
“You grew up well, Yn. You did well.”
You clutch his shirt, tightening your grip as you fist the fabric in your palm. He's patting your back, and time slows down to match the rhythm of his touch. 
“Love can be hard, I know. Especially when the people who left are the ones supposed to be staying.” 
He understands, more than anyone you know. He missed out on a different kind of love too, two facets of the same coin. 
“You’re doing well too, Chris. You shouldn’t doubt yourself as much,” your arms trail up to encircle his neck, as his nose tickles your hair. You're the one hugging him now. “Sowon is really smart, she told me that she loves you a lot. She can feel it. She sees everything you do for her.”
“Is that what she told you that movie night?”
“Partly,” you whisper, and Chris leans away slightly, his warm palms still pressed to your waist, holding you close. 
“What else did she tell you?” he asks, curiosity barely hidden in his tone.
You pause for a while, eyes going over the entire room before finally locking on him.
“She thanked me, said that I make you smile more.” You suck in a deep breath, gathering your courage. “Do I?” 
“There are smile lines that don’t show on my face until you're near.” 
“Oh.” That is the only coherent response you can formulate, and Chris giggles, a tiny squeak escaping his lips in a huff. “Cute,” he murmurs, planting a tender kiss on your temple. His lips linger, holding onto the moment a beat longer than necessary, causing your eyes to close in delight. Both of you find yourselves blushing as he leans away, a shared warmth coloring the space between you.
“Sorry, didn't mean to make the mood somber,” you say sheepishly as you sit back down, eyeing Chris’s laptop. “I wanna hear this,” you quickly point to a random track on his screen before he can reply, hoping to make the sadness flee away.
“This one? It’s not really good, let's listen to something else,” his rambling and eagerness to change the track pique your curiosity and you quickly click on the song before he can stop you.
connected.mp3 starts playing. 
Sultry beats inundate your ears, weaving through your veins and whisking you away to the pulsating rhythm of a dance club. You knew Chris produced good music, yet you never fathomed that his voice could be so luxuriously rich, cascading over you like molten wax. You feel a blush rise to your cheeks at the suggestive lyrics, the innuendos peeking behind every word. And then, a sudden jealousy claws at your heart, at the thought of Chris hunched in his studio, fantasizing about connecting with someone who isn’t you. 
You wished to be the only one Chris liked. 
“It’s a- a demo for one of my clients,” he explains through a stutter once the song is done, and you nod meekly, willing your body’s temperature to go down, for the possessivity crinkling in you to fizzle out. 
So, you put on your best taunting smirk.
“I know you want me don’t crumble.. No need to be desperate we’re just getting started,” you sing-song back. “You were feeling so cocky when you wrote this, right?” you grin, inching your chair closer to his. “Feeling yourself, Mr. Bang?”
He chuckles with a hint of annoyance, running his tongue along the expanse of his lower lip. Leaning back into his chair, he casually spreads his legs a bit wider, a gesture that suddenly leaves you feeling dizzy, on him.
“It’s cute how affected you seem by it,” he throws nonchalantly, crossing his arms before his chest.
“I'm not,” you smile, although your erratic heartbeat spoke of a different tale, you just didn't need to voice it to him. “I think you were the one getting all hot and bothered in your studio,” you stand between his legs, hovering over him as he leans back fully in his chair. 
“I was thinking of a pretty girl.”
“Yeah?”
“Mm,” he suddenly grabs your waist, you feel like your entire body is ablaze. “The prettiest.”
"Who is she?" you exhale, teetering on the edge of crashing your lips onto his, like an incoherent love poem, hastily scrambled on a notebook in a fit of anger.
“y–” The door suddenly opens, Sowon’s small frame standing by the door, she’s rubbing her eyes tiredly, her chick plushie dangling from her hand (a gift from her uncle Felix as she explained to you). You quickly scramble away from Chris as he clears his throat loudly.
“Daddy, I can't sleep,” she says faintly, a tiny pout drawn on her lips, and you can see Chris physically melt at her words, at the way she paddles to his chair, and tries her best to climb up his legs. She fails to do so, so he quickly scopes her up his arms until she’s buried in his hold. Her small hands wound up around his neck, and he tenderly pats down her hair, his gaze never wavering from her frame.
“Want me to sing to you, sweetheart?”
“Yes,” she whispers, before making grabby hands at you, your heart softens like clay dough as you scoot closer, enclosing her fingers in your hold. 
“Sleep well, Sowonnie,” you whisper. 
“Can’t you stay with us?” she asks and you feel your blood freeze in your veins, your heart skipping three beats at once.
To stay. What a frightening concept. Even more scary when you realize that you aren’t opposed to it. 
You yearn to stay, for the first time in years, you wish you could. 
You swallow the growing lump in your throat, before smiling reassuringly. “I'll stay till you fall asleep.” 
Conditions, it is the way it has always been for you. staying till you’re no longer useful, staying till you're no longer wanted. Staying, but always with a time limit, always with an expiration date. 
iv. 
You’re avoiding him. 
Chris knows you are, since you no longer come over to his house, claiming that you’re tired, or that you have an important order to bake for the next day. He would have believed you had he not seen you only once in the past three weeks. 
Those were excuses, and each one of them weighed heavily on Chris’ heart, on his home too, his studio particularly, the one that got used to the sound of your laugh. 
He misses you. He never thought he’d miss someone again, craving you presence as if every breath leaving his body depended on you. He wasn’t a stranger to intimacy, fleeting hookups every now and then. Strangers invited him to their bed, knowing what they were signing up for– one night of pleasure, never to be seen again, their faces blurring into an indistinct mass in his mind, like an impressionist painting where no features stand out. Yet, with you, every detail is etched in his memory. 
He could pick you out of a crowded room, recognize the delicate curve of your neck, the fullness of your lips, and the way your nose scrunches when you smile.
He could draw the moles scattered on your body from memory alone, recognize your scent from miles away– your cotton shampoo and the specific laundry detergent you love to use and a hint of vanilla that never truly leaves you. 
He’d remember the curve of your lashes and the cascading of your hair, the airy giggles you leave across like a trail for him to follow everywhere, and your eyes– the way they gazed at him, softening slightly around the edges, shining brightly as if crafted from stardust, the way they softened even more when you looked at Sowon, voice growing slightly high pitched as you listened to his daughter’s rambles.
How did you manage to make his home yours without ever living in it?
“Dad?” Sowon calls out and he snaps his head up, locking eyes with his little girl. She’s sitting on a high stool, munching on her pizza, a pensive look on her face.
“Yes, sweetheart?” he asks, walking over to her side.
“Where is Ynnie?” she asks in a small voice and he freezes, mulling over his response. He settles for the truth.
“I don't know, baby.”
“Does she not want to play with me anymore?” Sowon whispers, and he doesn’t remember his daughter ever being this tentative about voicing a question. 
“No!” he's quick to reassure, cradling Sowon’s face between his much larger hands. “Of course not baby she loves you a lot.”
“Okay…” she nods, a small pout drawn on her lips still. Chris senses his heart physically crack in his chest.
“Do you wanna work in the studio with me?” he says in a joyful tone, and she instantly cheers up, the twinkle in her eyes found again. “Yes!” 
“Finish your food first, okay Wonnie?” 
“Okay!” 
In Chris's life, regrets have been scarce, and certainly not in the form of Sowon, his beacon of hope, as he named her. Having her was beholding a sun wherever he went. However, a fear lingers, a whisper in his heart, suggesting that letting you go might be his one true regret.
So when his daughter falls asleep, he knocks on your door once again. He's suddenly transported into that cold night, months ago, where he asked you for flour. Had he known you were behind it he would’ve knocked much sooner. 
“Hi,” you greet softly once you open the door. He takes a step forward, his wolf slippers matching with Sowon’s bump into your plain ones. You avert your gaze, finding anything but him to fixate on.
“You're avoiding me,” he says matter-of-factly, voice soft, resigning to you.
“I'm not,” you contradict, even as your eyes remain on the ground. He finds himself missing the color of your irises.
“Look at me, hm?” he implores, and you stay rooted in place. A soft sigh escapes him as he cradles your right cheek with his warm hand, his thumb gently sweeping across your cheekbone. “Yn, please, I want to look at you.”
Maybe it is the pleading tone of his voice or the way his thumb tenderly grazes your skin, but something about Chris makes your resolve unravel, threads of fear unknotting before your eyes. So, you finally look at him. An exhale of relief escapes him. 
And then you speak.
“You asked me if I was okay, and I didn't reply, back then,” you say, leaning your head further against his palm as tears well up in your waterline. “Do you still want to know my answer?”
“Of course, always.”
“I'm happy. With you, with sowon. I feel this warmth that I have never known before when I'm with you. It was almost easy to forget I've known you during winter,” you chuckle dryly, “but it is all an illusion, I lie to myself thinking I could stay, I… I can't, I-“
“What if I ask you to stay?” he brings your hand to his heart, where it beats erratically, pulse seeping through your skin.
He’s as scared as you are.
“Chris…”
“What if I told you, Yn, please stay with me,” he breathes out, guiding your hand to gently cup his cheek. “Would you? Would you stay?”
“I'm terrified,” you whisper, as he tilts his head, bestowing a tender kiss on your palm. 
“I know, so am I. But, you make me believe that even my bruised parts are worthy of love.”
He wins, before years of skeletons and piled up doubts, he wins. 
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“I'm staying.”
“You are?”
“I am,” you giggle lightly and he staggers back, the sun pouring into his smile. 
“Um, wow, okay. Thank you for staying,” his voice sounds airy, happiness floating in his tone, and you find it contagious, imprinting into your own.
“Thank you for asking me to stay.”
“You made it less daunting,” he pats your head, smoothing your hair down. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too.”
He giggles in response and you can't help but mirror the sound. “Why are you so nervous?”
“Whaaat? I'm not,” his tone grows high-pitched and you roll your eyes amusedly. 
“What happened to connected Chris?” 
“He is flustered by the girl he wrote about.”
Your cheeks tint red as he places a hand above your head, caging you in place. 
“I think the girl should get paid for being the muse.”
“Oh yeah?” he smirks, “I'll think about it.” His grin softens, as a content expression washes over his face. You know you must look the same. “Let's talk more tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay,” you grin, before placing a chaste kiss on his cheek. “Good night, Chris.”
“Good night, yn.”
You quietly watch as he walks to his apartment door, his hand settling on the door knob. He pauses, for a few seconds where the air around you stills, before swiveling around and walking over to you again. 
you win. 
“I forgot something,” he breathes out, before crashing his lips onto yours, furiously, as if needing to imprint his essence onto you, tainting your soul the way you have tainted him, permanently altering the composition of his being. His lips move on yours as if they've done this before, a dance they have rehearsed countless times, perhaps in all the dreams Chris visited you in. Yet, nothing compares to how it feels to have him touch you, lick your lower lip and drag his hand up your hips, press you against your apartment door, and nibble at your neck. 
Nothing could have prepared you for the passion he shows you, for how delicious it feels to be pressed against him, for the storm that your lips conjure, swirling in your heart in vibrant shades of red. Then, for the softness of his lips as they slow down their course, plump and rosy as they meet your own, tenderly, more gently, one kiss after the other. “My hope,” he whispers, as his lips find yours again, “my missing piece.”
He’s hot and cold, in yet seeking no out, finally yours.
bonus (one year later). 
“So I brought the eggs, milk, sugar,” Chris enumerates as he takes out the groceries, and you turn to look at Sowon to find her already gazing at you, a mischievous look on her face. 
“How much do you wanna bet he forgot flour?” you whisper and she giggles, burying her face in her hands to stifle her laugh.
“And… Wait, where is the flour?” he trails off and you burst out laughing, as you and Sowon high-five each other excitedly. 
“Daddy, you are really bad at groceries.”
“Am I?” he smiles sheepishly, fiddling with his earlobe in a manner that still makes your heart melt, renders your insides butterflies speaking of Chris’ name.
“Yes, it’s good Mom bought it,” she says naturally, looking down at her iPad. You and Chris freeze in your tracks, eyes instantly locking with one another, yours and his, glossy with emotion, a loving tide enveloping you both. 
It's her first time calling you mom. 
You swallow down the lump in your throat, crafted not by thorns but by petals, not by ache but with love, before placing your chin on the small of her shoulder, murmuring softly. "Mm, will you help me bake, baby?"
“Yes! I wanna be a baker when I grow up, just like you.”
“What happened to being a stylist?”
“I can't be both?” she frowns innocently. 
“You can be anything you want, princess.” you bop her nose and she giggles, pressing a sweet kiss to your cheek. 
In the grip of winter, Chris discovers a warmth that defies the season, casting off years of cold from the recesses of his bones. A soft smile graces his lips as he gazes at you, his hopes, his girls, the three of you clad in wolf slippers.
He’ll propose to you tomorrow.
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yxngbxkkie · 1 month
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girl dad 🎀 (b.c)
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i had seen a tik tok with chan and the twins, and how he's a girl dad 🥹 so, i had come up with this idea 🫢 i hope you guys like it 🩷
feedback is greatly appreciated 🥰
~
You've been sitting in your car for twenty minutes, trying to get yourself to stop crying. One hand covers your mouth, quieting your sobs while the other gently rubs your tiny baby bump. You're fourteen weeks pregnant, and you just found out what you and Chan are having.
Your phone vibrates in your vehicle's cup holder, seeing Chan's name on the screen. You wipe your tears and take a deep breath before answering his call.
“Hey, baby,” you greet him, smiling to yourself.
“Hi, my baby,” Chan's voice makes your heart flutter. “Have you made it to the studio yet? How did the appointment go? I'm sorry I couldn't go with you.”
You giggle and lean back against the seat, turning your head to look out the window. “It's okay, baby. I forgot you had a schedule this morning. It went well. I have another sonogram photo to show you,” you inform him on how it went, leaving out the part where you learned whether your baby’s a girl or a boy.
“That's good. I can't wait to see our bean,” he giggles into the receiver, making you giggle as well. “We're just about to start filming, so I wanted to let you know that you're free to come in. I gave your name to security.”
You turn your vehicle off, feeling yourself calmer after talking to your boyfriend. “Okay, baby. I just pulled in, so I'll be there in a few. I love you,” you smooch.
“I love you so much. As soon as I have a free moment, I'm kissing you,” he mentions, having missed his morning kisses due to both of you being busy.
You're walking towards the building, and you shake your head. “I'm not going to complain,” you laugh, bidding him goodbye.
You slip your phone into your back pocket, giving the guard your name. He lets you in without any trouble, thankfully, and you make your way towards the room they're recording in.
When you finally reach the place Chan and Felix are in, you notice that they've already started recording. You look through the window of the door, seeing your boyfriend sitting cross-legged on the floor with the twins in his lap.
Tears pool in your eyes as you gently rub your belly, thinking of how it'll be when she's born. “Is this what parent life will look like?” You ask no one in particular, taking a quick glance down at your barely noticeable bump.
You chew on your lip as you walk into the room, the squeals of the girls reaching your ears. Chan's eyes meet yours, and he smiles at you fondly.
You wave at him before crossing your arms over your chest. Felix and Chan's manager grabs a chair for you to sit in, knowing that you're pregnant. You thank Skijigi quietly and take a seat.
The recording didn't last much longer, the two boys having a snack with the twins before they headed out. You stay in your seat when Chan walks over to you, greeting you with a kiss.
“Have you been crying?” He asks, noticing the redness around your eyes. His fingertips gently stroke your skin, a frown etching onto his lips.
“I can't get anything past you, can I?” You chuckle, shaking your head. Chan shakes his head as well, looking around to see the staff slowly filtering out. “It's nothing bad, I promise.”
Your hand grabs his, intertwining your fingers together before squeezing his hand. “The baby's okay?” He asks, stroking the back of your hand.
“Yes, absolutely,” you tell him, standing up from your chair. You bring your conjoined hands to your stomach, letting him feel your bump. “She is doing fantastic.”
His head snaps up, a gasp leaving his plump lips. “She? We're having a girl?” Chan whispers, his hands moving to your waist. “Are we really having a baby girl?”
Tears pool in both of your eyes, and you nod your head, confirming. “We're gonna have a little girl,” you cry out, laughing as you do. “You're going to be such a wonderful girl dad.”
Your fingers stroke his cheek, smiling up at him as you wipe his tears. Chan's lip quivers, bringing you into his chest. “I can't believe we're gonna have a girl,” he sniffles, gliding his hands on your lower back. “I hope she looks just like you.”
You pull back enough to look at him, smiling softly. “I hope she has your smile and dimples,” you giggle, leaning on your toes to kiss his lips.
“I can't wait to tell the kids,” he laughs, pressing chaste kisses on your lips. “They were so convinced that we'll have a boy.”
You burst out laughing, combing your fingers through his hair. “Let's go prove them wrong,” you wink, pulling away from him completely. Chan swiftly grabs your hand as the two of you walk out of the room together.
“After we tell them you want to get dinner?” He asks, kissing the back of your conjoined hands.
Your heart flutters in your chest, nodding your head, yes. “I'd love to, baby,” you grin, leaning your head on his arm. “I love you.”
Chan kisses your head and squeezes your hand. “I love you, baby.”
~
tagging: @strawboorybunny @reddesert-healourblues @spacegirlstuff @moon0fthenight @foxinnie8 @like-a-diamondinthesky @prettymiye0n
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getosbigballsack · 1 month
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Random thought! - Husband Gojo x Wife Reader-chan #inside the diary
Hear me out! Gojo read your thoughts in your diary and came to realize that he was a terrible husband to you.
He knew he was a good lay, hence the reason he managed to knock you up three times. But as of lately, he came to realize that you weren't interested in having sex with him.
At first, he thought it was just because you were too tired, having to take care of the kids while he works, all day by yourself (in which he understands, and he praises you for being such a wonderful mother).
But that wasn't the case. He just happened to come home early from work while you were out shopping with the kids, and he got a hold of your diary.
Interestingly, he took it upon himself to skim through the pages of your book, just to see what's inside your little head. Nothing out of the ordinary, just little notes and reminders to yourself about the task you had to complete and a few words of encouragement here and there.
He usually doesn't read through your thoughts, always thinking that if you had an issue you'd come and talk to him, so he was about to put your diary back where he found it because he didn't want to pry further into your thoughts, but that's until one page in particular caught his eye.
I find it difficult to enjoy sex with my husband nowadays and I don't know why?
Words in blue handwriting are written beautifully on the paper. He kept on reading, and as he continued to move further down the line, he felt his heart break.
It’s just me, but I don't think I'm attractive enough to have sex with my husband.
I wanted to suggest the last time we had sex [that was a month ago], but I didn't wanna ruin the moment for him because he looked like he was having fun.
Satoru came home today and wanted to have sex. I told him no. He never forced himself on me. He only kissed me goodnight and left to go sleep in the guest room. I know he was upset but did he really have to leave?
It's been 2 months, and Satoru hasn't tried touching me since that night. Am I not worthy of loving anymore? He doesn't even buy me flowers anymore or take me out on dates.
He doesn't compliment me anymore, doesn't tell me that I'm beautiful. He doesn’t even call me baby girl, doll or even honey.
No more I love you, only kisses to the forehead and peck on the lips before he leaves for work in the morning.
He comes home late, I'm always alone with the kids, no more family dinners, no more kitchen, bedroom, and bathroom conversations. No more late-night kisses, no more holding me tightly in his arms while he sleeps.
Does he not want me anymore?
Sometimes I wanna visit his office with the children but I’m afraid that he’ll find my presence a bit annoying. I feel lonely without him here with me.
I should've said yes that night and spread my legs for him,
That's my duty as his wife.
To have fulfilled all my husband's needs without complaint.
But it hurts to have sex, I'm just not in the mood. I'm too tired, I just need my husband to hold me, but he's not there.
I can't complain, he's the reason I don't have to work.
But is it so bad to ask my husband to love me without having the need to touch me?
The last entry to your diary reads.
I'm going to do it today, bare the pain and have sex with my husband, just so that I can feel his love once again. 
Now he knows the real reason you won’t have intercourse with him, or let's say the reason you don’t enjoy having sex with him. You feel as though he doesn’t love you anymore, and he needs to fix that. So, until he can figure out a way to prove to you just how much he loves you, he’ll have to deprive himself of your warm loving touch. 
Later in the day when you came home with the kids, you saw your husband cooking up a storm in the kitchen. “Hey baby girl, want something to eat? It’s been a while hasn’t it.” too stunned to even say a word, you just watched as your kids, ages 3, 4 and 6 ran over to their dad and engulfed him in a big hug. He giggled and stopped whatever he was doing to bend to his children’s height and kissed every single of them on their cheeks. “Hey boys. Did you all take your mom out shopping today?” Oh, that’s right you’re a boy mom. You managed to pop three boys, all of them came out looking just like their dad, especially your eldest son. 
The boys chatted away with their dad until he excused himself and walked over to you and wrapped his arms tightly around your body. You're in a state of shock, unable to move for a moment until he whispers, “can I get a hug back?” and you did give him a hug. 
“Welcome home, have a seat, dinner’s almost ready. I cooked vegetable curry today, I know it’s your favourite,” and indeed it is your favourite. For the rest of the day, he spent time in the kitchen cooking while chatting with his kids, not without taking small glances at you. You all ate dinner together, got the kids ready for bed when night falls, before preparing for bed yourselves. 
You remembered that you wrote in your diary that you were about to try and have sex with your husband, all for the sake of feeling his love again, but that didn’t happen. Instead, you found your husband already waiting for you on the bed, fully dressed in pjs, a cup of your favourite tea in his hand and a warm loving smile on his face. 
He immediately started up a conversation with you, asking you about your day and your trip to the shopping centre. You had no clue what was going on inside your husband’s head, but it’s been a while since he last sat down and had small conversations like these, and you weren’t about to miss this opportunity. 
So with a smile on your face, you told everything that happened today and even the fact that you had to buy a bag of grapes you had no intentions of buying, but you did so because your 3 year old son stole and ate a few while you picked up a bag of oranges. The conversation went all a while until he sighed. 
“Y/N,” he whispered in a serious tone. “We need to talk. I was going to wait until tomorrow, but I can’t bear the fact that my wife would be going to bed with doubts about our relationship and my love for you.”
You swallow thickly and rest your now empty cup against the nightstand before turning to face your husband fully. He reached his hand out for you, and you gently placed your left hand in his. He wrapped his large hand around your finger and gently pulled you until you were straddling his lips. You swallowed that thick lump yet again, before whispering, “So what is it that we need to talk about.”
“Why do you always refuse to communicate your feelings with me?” he asked as he let go of your hand and wrapped both hands around your waist and rested his head up against your chest. “I know I haven’t been a good husband to you these past few months, but I don’t want you to think that I don’t love you or that you’re not worthy of loving.”
“I don’t understand what you mean.”
He sighed heavily before taking a deep breath. “I found your diary in the living room when I got home, and I read through your notes.” Your body tensed up in his lap, your mind immediately racing towards negative thoughts. Is he angry? Why did you have to carelessly leave your diary out in the open for him to see. 
“Oh!”
“I’m sorry for reading through your diary, but I’m happy that I did because my wife won’t communicate with me,” he said with a frustrated sigh. 
You frowned, “Would you have listened even if I tried?”
“I would’ve dropped everything and listened to whatever it is that you have to say. I know it's my duty to ensure that my wife is living her best happy life, and that it’s also my responsibility to take care of your wellbeing, but I can’t always know what's going on with you if you don’t communicate with me.” 
Communication on your end has always been a big issue in your relationship with your husband. It bothered him and he’d hope that after a while you would’ve grown out of your bad habit, but he guess he’s wrong, because here you are now after 8 years of being a relationship total and that includes the four years of marriage, and 3 kids later, you still struggling to figure out a way to communicate your feelings with him. 
“I broke my heart when I read that you thought that as my wife, your duty is to only provide for me sexually or even the fact that you don’t think that you’re attractive enough to have sex with me. What hurts me the most is that you have so many doubts about my love for you. Y/N you know that I love you right?”
“I do,” your voice trembled slightly as you answered. 
“Then why are you doubting my feelings for you? I apologise for leaving you to sleep in the guest room that night, it was wrong of me to be upset all because you told me no.” There was a moment of silence, you figured he was waiting for a response in which you never gave.
“I know I don’t say this as much as I need to, but I love you. I LOVE YOU so very much. I love you as my best friend, my wife and I love you even more as the mother of my children.” Tears started to obstruct your vision as you stared off at your wedding portrait that was above your bed and listened as your husband poured his hurt out to you. 
“I need you to stop thinking that you are not worthy of loving because you are more than worthy. You’re an amazing woman, an amazing wife, and an amazing mother to our children. Just the fact that you're a mother makes you worthy of loving.” 
“Satoru… I- I,” you stuttered, trying to formulate the words inside your mouth, but even if you did, what are you going to say to your husband? You had not one clue. 
“I’m not a mind reader Y/N, so you need to start communicating your feelings with me, because if you don’t tell me, I’m not going to always know,” he said to you as he snuggled his head against your chest. 
“I- I’ll do better.” 
“I’m happy to hear that, and I promise to show you just how much I love you and do whatever it is to ensure that my wife is happy, because your happiness means the most to me. I’ll get you those flowers you want, and I’ll try my best to buy you loads of flowers in the future. And about visiting my office.”
“Yes?” you said. 
“I would love for you to pop up at my office one day with the kids and surprise me. My workers have been dying to meet my beautiful wife and children. And about the late-night work meetings. I can’t promise you that there won’t be any more late-night meetings, but I'll do my best to get home as early as I can to be with you and the kids. I don’t want you to feel as though I’ve abandoned you with the kids. I’ll take a few days off from work too and take the ends out. You’re right we barely have family time.”
“Thank you,” you said smiling as you allowed those tears to run down your cheeks. 
“I’ll do better as your husband. It wasn't my intention to not cuddle and hold you tightly while we sleep. Baby you know you can always smack me in the head or do that cute silly little thing you do and crawl underneath my arms if you want to cuddle with me,” he said to you, and you let out a small giggle. 
He chuckled too as he removed one hand from around your waist to cradle your cheek. “Lastly, this is about our sex life. If I make you feel physical pain, or uncomfortable at any time during intercourse you need to let me know because the last thing I want to do is hurt you. In your diary you said that you wanted to suggest the last time we had sex. I want you to tell me what it is.”
Your face heated up immediately, why would he have to bring that up now. Couldn’t he have waited until a better time. But nonetheless despite the obvious look of embarrassment on your face you whispered, “I was wondering if… if…”
“Yes?” 
“I was wondering if we could try something outside the usual vanilla sex,” you said to him, and he cocked his eyebrow towards you. “It’s not that I don’t enjoy vanilla sex, I love having vanilla sex with you and you know how to be rough when you need to be. But I thought it would be nice if we could do something different.” 
“What do you suggest?” he asked with a sunning grin on his face. 
“Maybe we could try using some sex toys.” 
“Sex toys heh?” he said, and you quickly covered up your face with your hands. “I’m open, I don’t mind getting a few sex toys here and there for us to use. I can order us a few online on another day.”
“Ok…”
“Good girl. I love you.” he whispered as he kissed your lips. "I promise I'll be a better husband for you."
“I love you too, Satoru.”
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whatsk-poppinhomies · 2 months
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Pairing : Dad!Lee Minho x F!Reader TW : pregnant reader ; one child ; just fluff ; the fluffiest fluff ; Word Count : 2.3k Request : Anonny : Can we have more dad lee know 🥹 after the newest skz family ep dad lee know has taken over me A/N : Gonna make this in headcanon mode so that I can give multiple examples, I can't focus on just one. The Minho brainrot has gotten to me!
Dad Lee Know who announced your pregnancy through bubble and took an hour and half a bag of kitty treats just to line Soonie, Doongie, and Dori up around your positive pregnancy test. The only caption was “I’ve been promoted from cat dad to real dad.” 
Dad Lee Know who keeps the pregnancy tracker app on his phone because he wants you to have enough storage on your phone to take constant pictures of belly updates. He sends you a text every time a week passes letting you know what the baby is the size of. Your favorite text was probably the random “BASEBALL!!!” text, it took you a good five minutes to understand what it meant since he didn’t elaborate. 
Dad Lee Know who comes home from work every day and gives your belly kisses, telling his little baseball sized baby that he missed them dearly. He says it’s so that they get used to hearing it already and they’ll know what it means when they come out. 
Dad Lee Know who plans his entire schedule around your doctors appointments, making sure that he’s able to make it to each and every one of them. He and Chan almost got into a fight because Chan accidentally said the wrong date for practice. He even wrote the appointment dates on the staff calendar so they knew not to schedule anything for those days. 
Dad Lee Know who had playfully made a bet with the guys about the gender of his child. He said he had thought it was, and he had wanted a boy, but when it was revealed that he was having a daughter he had cried tears of joy and excitedly wrote in the group chat that he’d give the guys the money he owed them for the bet after he took you out to eat. 
Dad Lee Know who started decorating the nursery for his daughter the day after the appointment, declaring that the nursery would be fit for a princess… And then proudly stating that his daughter is a princess already. She was going to be spoiled beyond belief. 
Dad Lee Know who had bought a heart doppler just so that he could lay in bed at night beside you with his headphones on listening to the sound of his daughter's rapid heartbeat. (He had also googled on the first night if it was normal for a baby's heartbeat to be almost 170bpm in the womb… It is normal.) 
Dad Lee Know who took paternity leave 3 weeks before your due date because he had read that by that time the baby could come at any point and he didn’t want to take any chances of missing the moment. 
Dad Lee Know who put on a strong face when your water broke while you both were out shopping for more baby clothes. On the inside he was freaking out, but he was staying calm for you. 
Dad Lee Know who held your hand on the ride to the hospital, tears already pricking his eyes knowing that his baby girl would soon enter this world and he’d be able to hold her. 
Dad Lee Know who freaked out a little bit (a lot) when he saw his daughter's head crowning, he was about to faint, so he opted to stay up close to your head through the rest of the delivery because he wanted to be conscious when she fully came out. 
Dad Lee Know who told you that you were doing amazing and how proud he was of you even though you were being so mean during the delivery. He understood though, it looked like it hurted a lot. He was so proud to call you his wife. 
Dad Lee Know who’s hand was shaking as he cut the umbilical cord, his breath was held, but that was the moment that he truly felt like a dad, like a father. He finally let the breath out when the cord was cut. 
Dad Lee Know who cried harder than you when he heard his daughter’s first cries. 
Dad Lee Know who begged you to let him hold her first, and you were honestly so tired that you didn’t even have the energy to say no. 
Dad Lee Know who almost filled up his phone storage completely on his daughter's first day on earth because he couldn’t stop taking pictures of her. She was so beautiful, he had hearts in his eyes the moment he laid them on her. She was precious to him and he let the world know it. 
Dad Lee Know who sent a picture of her to the group chat with the caption “I made this! So did Y/N, but look at her! Look what we made!” In that moment he had created a team of uncles that would promise to protect her just as much as Minho would. 
Dad Lee Know who woke up every night with his daughter because he didn’t want to miss a moment with her. He also knew that you needed your sleep, you had done all of the hard work, the least he could do is let you get some rest. 
Dad Lee Know who introduced his daughter to his cats as their new sister. “She’s not old enough to play yet, so be nice. You can look, but don’t touch. Okay?” It seemed like they understood him though, they would sit around her swing and stare at her, almost like they were guarding her or watching out for her, and they would only move away when you or Minho picked her up. 
Dad Lee Know who would get slightly sad when you would breastfeed his daughter because it was one of the things he couldn’t do. He surprised you with a breast pump because he wanted her to know he could give the milk too, just… In bottle form. 
Dad Lee Know who immediately felt guilty about the breast pump because it looked painful and he didn’t want you to be sore. The only time you did it now was when you knew you were going out and you wanted to have the milk ready. 
Dad Lee Know who almost threw up the first time he changed her diaper. After he was done it looked like he had lost about 20 years which was hysterical to you. All of the guys heard about it and they clowned him for it for a good bit. 
Dad Lee Know who cried his eyes out the night before his paternity leave was over. He didn’t want to go back to work, he didn’t want to spend a single moment away from you or his daughter, the thought that he might miss something was devastating to him. 
Dad Lee Know who had attempted to sneak his daughter to work with him in the baby wrap carrier, and then crying even more when you caught him and told him he couldn’t, at least not until she was a couple months older. 
Dad Lee Know who refused to believe that his daughter was already five months old when the day came around. He was a softie and he didn’t like to think that his baby girl was growing already, he wanted her to stay little forever. 
Dad Lee Knowwho brought home a “Baby’s First Christmas” ornament when he came home from work and then proceeded to cry his eyes out because “where did the time go? Tell her to stop growing.” 
Dad Lee Know who went all out for her first birthday party which he wanted to be princess themed because, alas, she was his princess. He took pictures and videos all day, and then that night when she was fast asleep, he laid in bed beside you, choked up and sniffling as he told you that he felt like he was missing too much of her life because of his job. 
Dad Lee Know who had been the one to see her take her first steps and jokingly flaunted that you had missed it… But then quickly apologized when he saw that it upset you and pulled out his phone because he had managed to record it. The group chat also got the video, they were constantly in the loop about everything that she did. 
Dad Lee Know who demanded that you and his daughter be allowed to go on tour with him and the guys, and then giving management the ultimatum that it was the three of you, or none of you at all. That was his daughter's first plane trip. 
Dad Lee Know who death stared at anyone that even looked slightly annoyed when your daughter got a little cranky on the plane. He kept her on his lap the whole time and bounced her and sang to her so that you’d have a comfortable flight. 
Dad Lee Know who talked only about you and his daughter when he had the chance to during concerts. If fans had a problem with it, he didn’t really care. You and his baby were the most important things in his life right now, and you always would be. If the fans didn’t like hearing about it, they could leave. 
Dad Lee Know who personally wrote a song about you and his daughter, and with the help of Chan, Changbin, and Jisung, he was able to have it finished just in time for your anniversary. 
Dad Lee Know who woke up every morning to make breakfast for his daughter and pack her lunch when she was old enough to go to school. 
Dad Lee Know who was the only father crying in a sea of mothers (including you) when it was her first day of kindergarten. He didn’t want to let go of her hand, and you had to practically pry his fingers off. 
Dad Lee Know who took an entire day off work that day just so he could cuddle up with you and cry to you about how empty and quiet the house felt without her there. 
Dad Lee Know who was the first parent up at the school every single day, waiting a whole hour out on the bench in front of her classroom door with a snack and a brand new stuffed animal. That’s how her stuffed animal collection began. 
Dad Lee Know who would sit on the floor next to his daughter's bed and read her bedtime stories, acting out parts of the stories with her stuffed animals because he knew it made her smile. 
Dad Lee Know who fell asleep one night in the middle of reading the bedtime stories, his head resting on the edge of his daughters mattress, and when he woke up she was sitting on his lap and sleeping as well. He didn’t move that night and he didn’t mind the backache that came along with sleeping that way either. 
Dad Lee Know who was the loudest person in the crowd when his daughter walked across the stage for her little award for perfect grades. “THAT'S MY BABY! YES! DADDY IS SO PROUD OF YOU PRINCESS!” 
Dad Lee Know who stayed up all night to help his 6th grade daughter with her science fair project, even after she headed off to bed, he continued to work on it just to make sure she got first place. 
Dad Lee Know who about lost his shit when she got second place, you and his daughter had to usher him out of the gymnasium where everything was set up so that he wouldn’t embarrass her. 
Dad Lee Know who took you and his daughter out to dinner after the science fair mishap and told his daughter that “it doesn't matter whether you got second place or first place, you’ll always be number one to me. You’re the smartest girl I know and I’m so proud of you.” 
Dad Lee Know who would help his daughter with her homework every night, even if he spent all day practicing or recording, he was never too tired to help her. 
Dad Lee Know who would still tuck his daughter in at night and make sure her closet was shut and her night light was on when she would fall asleep no matter how old she got. 
Dad Lee Know who got choked up when his daughter graduated high school, his voice cracking when she walked across the stage and hiding his face in your shoulder so that no one would see him crying. 
Dad Lee Knowwho you had to give a speech to when his daughter said that she wanted to bring her boyfriend over to meet you and Minho. “Don’t look at him like you want to kill him, Minho.” “But what if I want to kill him? He’s trying to take my baby girl away.” “Baby, she’s 19…” “Blah blah blah I don’t want to hear it! She’s a baby!” 
Dad Lee Know who threw a massive party when his daughter got accepted into SNU. He tried to uninvite his daughter’s boyfriend, but she insisted that he come or she wouldn’t show up. 
Dad Lee Know who taught his daughter to drive. He was terrified, and she almost crashed into the curb, but he told her she was doing a great job regardless so that he didn’t break her spirits. 
Dad Lee Know who would do anything for his daughter, she is his entire life, his whole world. He loved her with his entire heart. He’s the best father in the universe, he would lay down his life for her, he would give up everything for her. She’s the greatest thing to ever happen to him, and watching her grow has been bittersweet, sad but rewarding. He wanted nothing but the best for her, and he’d make sure that no matter how old he got, or how old she got, he’d always be there for her. 
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jiniretracha · 4 months
Text
SKZ as your boyfriend
How I imagine the SKZ members would act around you as your partners.
Warnings: Fluff and smut
Word Count: 3.4k
MASTERLIST
BANG CHAN
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Worries about you 24/7: This man is a protector. If he’s not there with you, physically, he’ll send you texts every once in a while, asking you how was your day, or if you had something to eat. 
Takes good care of you when you’re on your period: Whenever you are on your period, he’d always come back from work with bags full of snacks that he knows you like and the pads you use (he has obviously memorised the details of them so that he wouldn’t mess up and bring the ones you don’t use).
Gets along really well with your parents: Chan is a gentleman. Your mother adores him and he’s now your dad’s best friend. He’ll thank them for raising such a sweet girl like you, making your mom swoon and hug him. Your parents know you’ve found the one. 
Takes you out on dates any time he can: He likes to spoil you, a lot. He likes to take you out on dates just because he knows you love to dress up and get your makeup done nicely for the occasion, and also because he loves to spend time with you while enjoying a nice dinner. It's a win-win situation. And also… he’s never going to let you pay. He’ll get mad at you if you even insinuate you should split the check up. 
Lets you wear his clothes: If he sees you shiver, he wouldn’t hesitate. Even if it’s 4 degrees outside, he wouldn’t think twice of taking his hoodie off and giving it to you. From one side, because he’d never let you suffer from the cold or get sick because of it, and from the other, because he absolutely adores seeing you wearing his clothes. 
Nicknames I think he’d use on you: Baby, Babygirl, Princess
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He is possessive: If he sees someone from the staff giving you the eyes, or even someone online commenting how hot you looked, he’d see red. He knew what he had and he’d be damned if someone took you away from him. He’d obviously take that pent up frustration out on you in the best way possible. 
His favourite position: Missionary. He loves to watch your fucked out face as he fucks you. He gets the best view of your chest bouncing in front of his eyes and loves the way you wrap your arms around his neck while your hands are on his hair, gripping it.
He thinks aftercare is so important. He wouldn’t let you fall asleep without cleaning you up with a rag or drawing you a bath. 
After taking you apart again and again, he’d wrap his big ass arms around you and cuddle you, spooning you from behind.
LEE KNOW
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Cooks for you: We have seen it in several blogs, this man can cook. Even if you know how to, he’d never let you step foot in the kitchen. He wants and likes to cook for you.
Gets jealous easily but in a playful way: He’d see you talk to one of the members or a staff member and he’d immediately put on a pouty face. You’d go back to him and he’d pull away, making you frown. “Go back to your new boyfriend” he’d playfully say. He then tells you you can make it up to him by giving him endless kisses and cuddles.
Can read you like a book: I feel like this man knows you very well. He’ll know how you feel with just one look at your face. And the best part, he’d know just what to do. If he senses you’re feeling bad, he'll wrap his arms around you silently and he’ll make you feel better.
Treats you like the mother of his cats: Whenever he’s with his cats and he sees you arrive, he’d tell them: “Look, mommy’s here”, making you coo and lead him on with his antics. 
Annoys you: He knows how to push your buttons. He’d see you on your bed, scrolling the feed of your Instagram and he’d drop himself on top of you, making you huff in surprise and start squealing, pleading him to get off of you. 
Nicknames: Jagiya (Korean for ‘baby’), Bunny, Baby
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I feel like Minho would be the type of boyfriend who would let out his pent up frustration out on you by fucking you, and viceversa. He’d let you take your anger out on him in the most pleasurable way. 
Favourite position: All fours. Absolutely. This man loves your ass and he loves to watch it as he fucks you from behind.
Booty slaps 24/7: It is known that Lee Minho loves to slap the member’s asses. You aren’t the exception. Hell, it’s even worse. He’d be obsessed with your ass. No matter how big or small it is. He’ll slap, touch or even cuddle it as much as he can. 
Hair Pulling: I know this man is in fact into hair pulling. In whichever position he’s taking you in, he’ll grab and pull on your hair. Even when you aren’t having sex, if he sees you in the kitchen, preparing breakfast, he’ll wrap his fingers around your hair, pulling it gently so that he can pull your head back and kiss your neck as he whispers a “good morning” into your skin. 
CHANGBIN
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Carries ALL of your bags for you: Dating a gymbro (because, let’s face it, he’s one of them) comes with a lot of perks. Changbin would never let you carry your bags. You go to the market? He’ll carry the bags with groceries. You’re coming back from a trip? He’ll carry your luggage. Even if you’re feeling exhausted from walking, he’ll offer his back for you to hop on and carry you. And don’t say no, he’ll feel offended. He loves carrying his girl.
Spams your phone with lots of pics from the gym: Whenever he goes to the gym (which is always), he’ll never forget to send you a mirror pic while working out. 
Walks with an arm around you: Changbin will always walk with an arm around you. Always. He wants you to feel loved and protected. 
Buys you plushies: Whenever there’s an anniversary, a birthday, a date night, or just a random day, he’ll always buy a plushie that reminds him of you or something that you said. Of course, he’ll gift you every single edition that comes out of Dwaekki, always. You need to have them all. 
Stares at you: You’ll catch Changbin staring at you all the time. You’d be talking or ranting about something of your interest and he’ll probably won’t listen to you. He’s too busy staring at your pretty face to pay attention. Even if someone is talking to him, and you’re in the same room, he’ll probably won’t listen to them, he’ll just stare at his girlfriend. 
Nicknames: Beautiful, Babe, Doll.
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Changbin, a guy with big arms, would like to show you how strong he is by manhandling you into any position he’d like. 
Favourite position: Against a wall. As I said before, he likes to show how strong he is. I’ll bet he’d love to hoist you in his arms, press you against a wall and just give it to you. 
I feel like sex with Changbin will be hardcore or very soft and vanilla. There is no in between. There will be nights where he’ll just want to release and pound into you, drilling you into the mattress. And there will be nights where he’ll just want to make love to you and shower you with kisses and sweet nothings whispered into your ear. 
HYUNJIN
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Museum dates: He loves going to museums, and loves spending time with you. So why not combine those things? Hyunjin would love to walk through a museum or art gallery while holding your hand. 
Gifts you his art: Jinnie loves painting you and sketching you. He’ll show his love and dedication for you through his art. As his number one fan, you’d have them framed on the wall all around your house. Whenever you have a visit, you’d always tell them with a proud smile on your face: “My boyfriend did that”. 
Clingy: As much as Hyunjin loves to say he doesn’t like skinship, I know that thought will fly out of his mind as soon as he meets the love of his life (aka you). He’ll always hold hands with you. Always. He’ll randomly hug you. He’ll press kisses on your neck, cheeks, lips, everywhere in his reach.
Being romantic 24/7: That boy is so romantic and will try to show his love for you in every way possible. He’ll gift you a sketchbook filled with drawings of your face. Gifts you a notebook filled (from first to last page) with poetry written only for you. His muse. Will give you flowers every time he can. Red roses, specifically, because he knows that they embody love. 
Flirty: We all know it’s in Hyunjin’s nature to be flirty. He won’t let it be an exception around you. He’ll flirt with you all the time. When you’re alone, when you’re in public, always. He’ll say the worst and cheesiest pick up lines and the most romantic ones as well. 
Nicknames: My muse, Angel, Baby.
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Hyunjin loves morning sex. He loves waking you up in the most delicious way. He’ll start by sucking on the soft skin on your neck. Then, trailing his lips to your chest, gives you an orgasm with his mouth and then he’d slide into you and make you come at least twice before you even have the chance to open your eyes. Afterwards, he’d press a long kiss onto your lips and whisper: “Good morning, my muse”. 
Favourite position: Missionary. I feel like Hyunjin would love to brace himself up on top of you with those arms and whisper into your lips the filthiest things. 
I know he’s into choking. He knows he has beautiful and hot hands, and he just loves seeing them wrapped around your neck. He’ll even fuck you in front of a mirror with his hand on your neck, making you watch how beautiful you are while you take him. 
He’s a whore for oral: In both ways. He loves when you sink to your knees for him and you wrap your lips around him. He loves the way you suck him off. He’d commit crimes for it. And vice versa. With those lips, I know he’s good at it. He’ll just plaster his face into your core, his nose pressing against your clit while he devours you. He loves tasting you and pulling those sinful moans out of you.
HAN
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Writes songs about you: Jisung can’t stop writing songs about you. He loves you so much and his hand would grow tired from all the lyrics his mind would come up with about how beautiful you are and how much he adores you as he writes them down.
Let’s you brush his hair: You’d sit him down on a chair or on the bed while you brush his hair softly and he’d just stare at you with the biggest simp grin on his face. 
Sings you to sleep: He knows you love his voice and how soothing you think it is. Jisung would just wrap his arms around you, press a kiss into your hair and lowly sing one of your favourite tunes or a song he wrote about you without you knowing about the existence of it.
Steals your clothes: I know Jisung would love showing up to the studio wearing one of your hoodies. He loves wearing them because they have your scent and perfume, and it makes him feel at home. The member would ask him if it he was wearing a new hoodie and he’d just smile with his lips pressed against each other and shake his head. “Nope, it’s my girl’s”.
Loves to hold you: Whether it is your hand, your arm, or your body in a hug, he has to hold you. As someone who gets anxious pretty often, Jisung finds it reassuring to know he has you there for him and just your touch and presence will calm him down and soothe the anxiety. 
Nicknames: Cutie, Sweetie, honey
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I feel like Jisung would be the sweetest thing in bed. Always asking if what he’s doing is okay, if he’s hurting you and if you’re feeling okay. 
Favourite position: Cowgirl. He loves having you on top of you. He’d place his hands on your hips and get the best view from where he lies. 
He’s very vocal in bed, always telling you how good you’re making him feel, how good your pussy feels around his cock. He’d never hide his moans from you, never. 
FELIX
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Clingy: Just like Hyunjin, but we all know this man is a sucker for skinship. It is a need. He always has to have some sort of contact with your skin. Holding your hand, his hand on your thigh, your arm, you name it. 
Puts you above anything else: You’re his number one priority. And it is non-debatable. If you’re sick, he’ll drop everything to go to you and take care of you. If you want to go on a date, he’ll drop everything to get you that date. If you want to watch a movie, even if he knows he doesn’t like it, even if it’s a horror movie, he’ll put it on. 
Kisses 24/7: He lives for your kisses. He loves you so much he can’t go one single second without feeling your kiss. He’d see you across the room, and he’ll walk to you and press a kiss to your lips. The reason? Nothing, he doesn't have to have one. He just loves you and loves showing it to you. He’ll always shower your face with kisses. Always.
Creates playlists with songs that reminds him of you: You wouldn’t be surprised if he shared a link to a playlist he made for the two of you, filled with songs that remind him of you and how he feels for you. You wouldn’t be surprised because he’s the sweetest boy ever. 
Heart Eyes: The members are always teasing him about how whipped he is for you. And he doesn’t even try to hide it. He’s always staring at you whenever you’re in the same room as him. He can’t help it. Lix thinks he is the luckiest person in the world because you’re with him. He’ll unconsciously smile as he gives you the most lovesick puppy look. 
Nicknames: Sunshine, My love, Princess (because if he gets called ‘prince’, then you’re his princess).
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He knows you love his deep voice (who doesn’t) and he takes advantage of it. He’d tell you how good you feel, how sexy and beautiful you are, how he is the luckiest person in the world to be able to fuck you, all with his deep, sensual voice. 
Favourite position: Any position he gets to see your face in. If you want him to give it to you from behind, he just has to have a mirror in front of the two of you so he can see your face as he takes you apart and puts you back together. 
Felix loves your tits. Loves them. He could spend the rest of his life buried in them. It doesn’t matter how big or small they are. He will worship them no matter what. He loves to suck on them, lay on them, fuck them, grab them, squish them, spit on them.
I feel like Lix has a praise kink. He absolutely does. Just like he compliments you, he likes to receive them as well. HIs eyes would roll back every time you whisper against his skin how good he’s making you feel, how big he is or how much you love him.
He’ll get inside the shower without a warning, loving how you feel all wet and soaped up against him. He’d just take you against the shower wall without a warning, and you’d absolutely give it to him because you could never resist him.
SEUNGMIN
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Constant teasing: He’ll tease you with the most cringey nicknames or things, annoying you but on the inside, you know that he does that only to the people he loves. And you love knowing you’re one of them.
Takes pictures of you: Seungmin will take random pictures of you whenever he feels like it. He sees you concentrated on something, or just laying on the couch watching some shitty tv show and he’d grab his phone, and take a picture of you. He’ll have a photo album in his gallery filled with pictures of you. Let’s say that at least 80% of his used storage is simply pictures of you.
Asks you which pictures should he post on his Instagram: The only person he’d ask to pick which pictures he could post on his Instagram is you. He wants your opinion on how he looks and loves to watch you gasp as he scrolls down the pictures he shows you for you to pick. 
Frames your face before kissing you: He’ll put his hands on your cheeks, look down at your lips with those beautiful brown eyes and kiss you in the sweetest way possible. 
Loves your hugs: As someone who claims he doesn’t like skinship that much, you’re the only one who can hug him. He is a sucker for your hugs. He’ll have a hard time initiating them at first, but once he gets more comfortable in the relationship, he’ll randomly hug you, whenever he feels like it. 
Nickname: Darling, Sweetheart, Sugar.
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He’s a mean dom. We all know that. He’ll tease and edge you all night long if he wants to. 
Favourite position: Reverse cowgirl. He’d love to watch the way you fuck yourself down on his cock while watching the way your ass shakes as it slaps against his thighs, and grabs your hips.
Loves to mark you up, because he’s a possessive little shit. He likes to adorn your neck with purple marks and see the handprints on your ass cheeks. He gets bummed that you can’t give him marks, due to his idol position and all, but he knows he’d love to get marked by his girl.
I.N
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Smiles every time he sees you laugh: This man has such a beautiful smile, and it always pops up in his face whenever he hears you chuckle. He can’t help it. He loves it even more when he’s the one making you laugh.
Loves to take pictures with you: He loves taking selfies and he loves it even more when you are with him in them. He loves wrapping his arms around you and taking a picture in front of a mirror. Loves cuddling you and taking a selfie with you in his arms. 
Brings you food whenever he comes back home: He’d come back with dinner for the both of you after a long day of recording or practising. Even if he’s exhausted, he’d never fail to stop at a restaurant or a market to buy food for the both of you. And he’d never forget to buy you your favourite chocolate or ice cream pint for dessert. 
Gets shy easily when you compliment him: You’d say something nice to him, like: “You look beautiful today” or “I love you so much”, and he’d immediately hide his smile and pretty blush by looking down. You’d tease him about it, poking your fingers on his stomach, making him giggle. 
Lends you his jewellery: He loves watching you play with his rings and his necklaces, so at a certain point he’ll just pull them off his fingers or unclasp it from around his neck and put it on you. He’d reassure you it looks better on you, anyways.
Nicknames: Baby, Beautiful, Gorgeous.
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The first time he’d get nervous. He’d be hesitant and try things to see what you really like. But once you get started, Jeongin will start getting more and more confident. 
Favourite position: Cowgirl. I feel like he’d let you dominate him every once in a while and he’d enjoy it so much. 
Sex with Jeongin, under normal circumstances, would be pretty vanilla. But if you piss him off, oh boy. Brace yourself to be drilled into the mattress. He’d punish you, overstimulating you and making you come over and over again. 
If there’s a member that loves face-sitting, it’s him. He loves to feel his whole face soaked by your juices. He loves feeling your thighs around his head in this position. 
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