#chat app making

[eddis-not-eeddis]

How To Stop Killing Conversations

Talking is hard. People are confusing. Making friends is difficult, and interacting with coworkers is tortuous.

You want to make friends, you want to reach out, but it's hard and every time you start a conversation it dies, or limps along until both you and the person you're talking to are looking for excuses to kill it and put it out of it's misery so you can both escape the increasingly awkward situation.

As an introvert who has suffered a lot of social anxiety in my time, let me share a few tricks I've learned over the years going through hundreds and thousands of excruciatingly painful conversations until I found something that works. I've kind of distilled the process.

ALWAYS ASK A QUESTION!!!

The first thing is to always leave your partner an opening. You need to let each other talk for a conversation to get off the ground, but it's more than that, really. You need to actively encourage each other to talk. The best way to do that is to ask questions.

Here are two examples of an introduction: Example A

You: Hello.

Them: Hello.

You: Nice to meet you.

Them: Nice to meet you too.

Example B

Y: Hello, nice to meet you, how are you? T: I’m doing well, yourself?

Y: I've been really well. How are you liking the weather?

T: I'm so happy the weather's finally getting cooler, I'm looking forward to pumpkin spice season. Do you like lattes?

Do you see how in Example A the conversation wasn’t going anywhere? It just kinda died, because there weren’t any openings for new topics, whereas in Example B, there were openings to keep the conversation going.

But what do you do if your conversation partner is as socially inept as you were two minutes ago and doesn't play along? All is not lost.

Example C

Y: Hello, so nice to meet you, how have you been doing?

T: I'm doing well.

Y: That's great, are you enjoying the nice weather, then?

T: Yeah. I'm glad it's finally fall, I'm looking forward to pumpkin spice lattes.

Y: I love pumpkin spice lattes! Pumpkin spice anything, really. I recently got the best pumpkin spice candle at the shop down the road, have you been there?

Even if they don't leave you an opening, you can usually make one. It may be difficult, especially when they don't give you much to work with. This is where having a go-to script is a life-saver--me, I always default to talking about the weather, so when in doubt, you can do that.* The important thing right now is to keep fostering the conversation, so once you bring up the weather, segue into a question. When they answer the question, make a brief comment or observation from your own experience and build off of that comment or observation to ask another question.

"But I don't want to make it about me. Doing that's bad, right?"

This is why that questions are important. If you haven't been asked a question, you kinda have to make it about you, you don't have a choice. But to keep from being an attention hog, follow up your shared experience or anecdote with another question.

Example D

T: I love pumpkin spice lattes

Y: Me too. I had the best pumpkin spice latte the other day at the cafe down the road, have you ever been there?

Now you've circled the conversation back around to them again, and you aren't taking the limelight. Sharing an experience is so important, you're trying to show that you understand, that you sympathize, that you relate.**

This really is the most important element of being a good conversationalist. You have to keep asking questions.

The one other thing I will touch on is introductions. DO NOT get into turn based combat.

Example E

Y: Hello

T: Hello

Y: Nice to meet you

T: Nice to meet you too.

Y: How are you doing?

T: I'm fine. You?

Y: Me too.

This will kill any possibility of continuing a conversation. Instead, get it all out of the way all at once, if at all possible.

Example F

Y: Hi, it's nice to meet you, how are you doing?

This is good, but this is better

Example G

Y: Hi, nice to meet you, how are you liking the weather?

Don't ask how they are doing, or if you do, before they can answer, follow it up with your placeholder (weather etc.) so they have to say some thing like

Example H

T: I'm fine, and I'm really liking the weather.

or

T: Not so great, the weather sucks.

Either of those options are much easier to work with than your basic "I'm fine."

Usually, if you can get past the introduction, you can get a conversation going. And then, even if you don't end up hitting it off with the person you're talking with, you at least don't leave the conversation feeling like you've died a thousand tiny deaths.

In fact, if you get past that introduction, you may have just made yourself a friend.

Remember folks, basically everyone around you is more afraid of you than you are of them, and in this benighted age no one has been taught conversation skills, so we are all pretty much in the same boat. (Unless you were born an extrovert, in which case we are all deeply envious and would probably kill you if we didn't need you in our sad and lonely lives so much.)

Have grace for one another, and for yourselves because talking with people is difficult.

Go forth, and stop killing conversations.

*If you are one of those awful people who likes to brag about how you hate small talk and only want to talk about important and meaningful things, I have one question: Do you ever have a conversation that lasts long enough to become meaningful? I thought not. Small talk is an important skill. Develop it.

**This is how you deal with sad or difficult situations too. When you want to show you sympathize with someone going through a hard time.

Example:

Y: How are you doing?

T: Not very well. My dog died last week.

Y: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. My own dog died last year and I still miss her a lot. How are you handling it?

Now you've circled the conversation back around to them again. You aren't making it about you.

If y'all want, next time I can share how to extricate yourself from a conversation.

[azurajae]

💌A Confession ft. Chai

[luckthebard]

I do not understand how, after 3 years of prerecorded content, there will still be people who wander into the Crit Role twitch chat and use their precious slow mo chat opportunity to ask:

“Is this live??”

[ivys-head-is-spinning]

We really need a newsies fandom group chat.

[lostinforestbound]

Guess who started drawing again!

[chenfordspiral]

If you could only keep Chenford scenes from one season, which ones would you keep? And why? 🤭

I told you before, this is mean 😒 but I do actually have an answer. Kind of. Do two seasons count? Yes? Okay good, because that's the only way I can and will answer this (sorryyy).

For me it's seasons 2 and 5. Somehow, scenes from those two seasons always come to mind first when I think about Chenford so obviously that has to be my answer. I mean, in season 2 we get DOD damnit, the storyline of all storylines. And that gym scene in 2x12?? OMGGGG.

And even before that we get zero personal space most of the time, we get cute bantering even once he's dating Lucy's best friend, we get this little moment because of the bet:

(Be more obvious Lucy, I dare you.)

THIS?! (They're both way too obvious here)

And Lucy just never takes any of his shit?? Like, sir, that's your rookie. You're totally ignoring all your rules and whatnot 🤭 also, peep the hand on his arm in the second gif eeeek

We're friends AND TIM DOESN'T EVEN REFUTE IT AND INSTEAD SMILES???

And don't even get me started on the audiobooks, and how Lucy stepped up in 2x08. And their cute little smiles here?? Kill me, kill me now.

Also howling over this gif I just found because it's too funny (and I actually adore this scene so much omg).

I could go on but moving on to season 5. I mean, do I have to say anything to these?

Then their first date? First kiss? Them coaching Little League together?? 5x12? God, I can't even choose. I'm a sucker for all the domesticity, so those moments in 5x14, 5x19 and 5x20 are just so sweet to me. The whole our kids thing in 5x17?? The hug in the finale? The fight scene? Yeah, no. No way I'd wanna lose these scenes lol.

If I wanted to cheat even more than I already have, I'd add at least four scenes from season 4 on top: hug 4x01, hug 4x09, dance 4x18, and kiss 4x22.

So, once more, my inability to make an actual decision shines through here, I'm so sorry. I mean, without season 2, we don't get any of what came after because some of those moments were pretty essential toward becoming them. And season 5.. well, that's their dating era and I love it so so much. And I miss it dearly. So yeah, I guess that’s my answer, sorry, ramble so you forget what the actual question was by the time you’ve reached the end hehe. I probably missed some obvious ones but oh well, there's enough gifs here already.

Thanks Suz! ❤︎

[androxys]

Knowing that the episode of Arthur that produced this:

came out in 2015... after such classic tumblr tales such as "Oppa Homeless Style" or "Down with Cis" makes me desperate to know if there was a producer or writer who was on tumblr at the time. And while correlation does not equal causation, it is fun to dream

[disposal-blueeee]

recent sketches

hhhello been inactive for a while so have some sketches i've done recently XP

changed the way i draw the little guy

a friend had this hc that during chapter 27 edgar wasn't really taking care of himself so his hair got longer . then zarla confirmed it

thing i banged in like 30 minutes instead of going to sleep . this is from @metamorphmigus and @cherry-207's au , btw

lolol that's literally all idk why i thought i had more things

[spearxwind]

The new discord mobile is so ugly i hope it fucking explodes forever please i want to go back

[flurry-of-stars]

︵‿︵‿୨✩୧‿︵‿︵

*taps microphone* New chapter for These Hollow Halls coming soon--

[ponydoodles]

when will mod apps open?

treat here!! we will actually be looking for mods soon and have a form ready, we will be accepting submissions in roughly a weeks time!!

as a reminder though, we only look for mods through our discord and the application will NOT be posted here, only in the discord!! we dont accept people we dont know so maybe join and talk there a bit first :]

link to the server is HERE (please make sure to read our rules, blacklist and channel directory completely before making an intro!)

[roblogging]

i forgot that uni is actually quite lonely if you don't have plans and have minimal friends. what if i wanted to go to this event tonight? i shant. because my friends arent. they are all busy with other bubbles and i am not a bubble clasher. i am just a scared lil guy getting ready for bed at 6pm.

[xenioi]

im so tech illiterate can someone help me figure out how to turn images into something i can link in a dragon bio

[of-mutts-and-men]

I’ll rub your belly if you rub mine

Got yourself a deal.

[thatoneluckybee]

Tell me about your OCs! (if you have any)

Good grief I have many an oc… I’ve spoken vaguely about my mains online BUT I keep it vague for privacy stuff lol. The main set are from a story me and a close friend began IRL years ago that was all but abandoned after the pandemic. They aren’t really into it anymore so essentially I’ve been given free reign over them. However… I have no set plan on what we’re gonna do. We both love art so we’ve considered making it into like a webcomic or a book but neither of us know. It’s just this series stuck in my head. I keep things vague with them love in case we ever do get around to making this a real published thing (also because I am… 60% sure said friend has a tumblr and Do Not Want Them To Find Me.)

[bonetrousledbones]

OH RIGHT this is somehow completely unrelated to the last post but i finally got a new desktop theme for This blog which actually works & its actually really really cool and is even compatible with the mobile browser sooooo yall should take a looksie :>