#chat pretends chilchuck is their dad

[askchilchuck]

Any advice for treating cold symptoms? 😭

No matter what kind of sickness you have, at the end of the day you need to keep your body hydrated and well rested. If you don’t, your body can’t focus on healing itself.

[askchilchuck]

chilchuck i need some fatherly advice:

i really liked this boy and he really liked me and we went on a few dates and we even cuddled! but after about a month and a half of talking he told me he wasn't interested in a relationship 😓 i was heartbroken and at first i hated his guts but now i have a crush on him again...!!

he was also kind of a jerk during the good month becausei cried in a restaurant bathroom while he was off goofing with his friends...

father chilchuck help a girl out!!!

This guy sounds terrible… Look, i know it can be hard to let go of attachments sometimes, but this guy doesn’t seem to care about you at all. Even I wasn’t that avoidant… If I were you, I’d cut him out entirely. He doesn’t deserve having you around. Any time you want to reach out, I’d focus on the times he abandoned you when you needed him, and remember that he’s just going to do it again. He’s not worth another broken heart, and time lost.

[askchilchuck]

*a small child walks up to Chilchuck and points at him* are you my mommy?

No, sorry… I can help you find her if you’d like?

Oh, thank you. He takes the apple, before muttering to himself. Why are there so many kids unattended right now…?

[askchilchuck]

mr chilchuck sir how do i get a woman to like me

Well for starters, don’t do what I did. People don’t like it when you put them on the back burner. That’s not even dating advice, that’s life advice. If someone’s sticking around, it’s because they want to. They want to navigate things with you, and it’s okay to let them. Don’t take as long as I did to get that through your head, okay?

As far as getting someone to like you. Start by making yourself someone you like. Everyone likes something different, but most people agree that self agency and improvement are attractive qualities. Just don’t take it too far. Make yourself someone you’re happy with, and the right people will find you. Don’t fall into the trap of changing for someone else’s sake. That never works, and even if it did, you’d just be miserable in the long run.

[askchilchuck]

chilchuck, the doctors say i cant drink alcohol cause of my seizures but i dont wanna listen. you support me, right dad-- i mean, sir?

Absolutely not! You should be listening to your doctors. Especially with something as serious as seizures!

[askchilchuck]

I've recently realized that I'm transmasc and I absolutely love how you pesent, I guess what I'm asking is how do I act more like a man?

There’s not really a right or wrong way to be a man. If you say you are one, then you are. A better question is what kind of man are you? Be the person that makes you comfortable and happy. That’s how you act more like a man. At least, in my opinion, anyway.

[askchilchuck]

Should i be eating the green parts of strawberries❓️❓️ probably not, but atleast im eating veggies‼️‼️‼️

Actually, the green parts are safe to eat, they just don’t taste very good. That being said, you should still be eating a good variety of vegetables every day.

[askchilchuck]

Do you need a 4th daughter??

Izu’s kind of taken that spot lately, sorry.

[askchilchuck]

Where do you suggest getting used lockpicking tools and such? And locks?

Usually pawn shops are a good place to find cheap equipment to practice with. They’ve already been used, and probably won’t be picked up to be put back in the field, so it’s a good send off if you end up braking them.

[askchilchuck]

Hey Chilchuck, wanna be my dad? Mine's a prick who mistreated my mother and I only talk to him to get money or things that I can't afford because I don't have a job

Anyways please adopt me you look like a good dad

Another one… What’s going on here? Is good parenting really that hard to come by these days? I should go visit my mom…

[askchilchuck]

Chucklefuck do you have any good life advice you could share pls. Apparently I need to find ‘good role models’ so I’m starting my search here.

1) Don’t blindly listen to the people around you, but don’t disregard what they’re telling you either. You need to think critically for yourself and do your research before you act.

2) You need to force yourself to do things you don’t want to do. You need to get a job. You need to do well at that job. You need to keep your living space clean. You need to keep yourself clean. You need to do your laundry. If you don’t, you’re going to lose your health, and end up a shut in. Leave the house, too.

3) Learn a skill. You don’t need to make money off of it if you don’t want to, but having something for your hands and brain to do will help a lot, too.

4) Establish a savings if you can. You’re going to get to a point where you can’t work at all one day, and there’s no guarantee someone will be there to take care of you financially when that happens. Make sure you have something to fall back on just in case.

5) It’s never too early to write a will. I know it’s grim, but especially if you want to make sure certain things go to specific people, it’s good to have on hand. Make sure to update it every year so nothing falls through the cracks.

6) Finally, if you live in a more dangerous area, it’s always a good idea to have a “go-bag” with things you might need for a week or two somewhere easy for you to take on your way out. Food that won’t spoil, spare clothes, medical supplies. Just some general things that might come in handy during a disaster.

That’s all I can think of right now, but I’m sure there’s more.

[askchilchuck]

Chilchuck why do i wanna strangle my dad in his sleep

Good question... Maybe ask your therapist? You do have one, right?

[askchilchuck]

mr chilchuck sir how do i get a man to like me

Same advice as before. It's good no matter who you're talking to. Honestly, focus on yourself and the right people will find you.

[askchilchuck]

Hey chilchuck can you please peel this peach for me? (Hands you ripe peach)

…Why? Fine, hand it over. He pulls out his pocket knife, and begins peeling the peach. The flesh of the fruit is too soft, and he ends up smushing it a little. Here. He hands back the now-peeled peach. It’s mushed in some places, and is misshapen now. Next time, just eat it with the skin on, yeah? You’re not supposed to peel them.

[askchilchuck]

What's your favorite snack? Mine is cookie dough bites and my rats love bananas. Also I cleaned my room. Can I have dessert now? -🐭

Fine, yeah, whatever.

[askchilchuck]

Mr. Tims!!! It's an honor! (curtsy) I've heard a lot about you from other half-foots and they said you could help me out. I'm only part half-foot, my father is a dwarf, and it's been only a good few months after I moved out of my dad's house -- but finding entry level work for myself has been really rough... I don't have the strength to go work in the mines, but I also have really clumsy hands so lockpicking isn't an option for me. Really, the only thing I take interest in is magic, but... well I can't say I haven't tried a million times to get good at it, but the mana sickness is seriously bad every time. (fidget fidget) Y'know, I once got knocked out cold for 5 hours straight, and my parents were furious! Told me I couldn't use magic until I learned how to stop pushing myself too hard, haha... Anyways, I was hoping for some advice on what to do? I'm lucky I had enough money to afford a rental, but I'm worried what might happen if I don't pick up a job soon. I don't have a very wide skillset, but I can hold a mace and sew - not without accidentally poking myself though - so I guess that's somethin'... (their voice drops to a mumble) I just wish those changeling mushrooms I got actually worked... I already know how to use magic, I just need... wish I had a better... ugh (cough) Sorry if this is an inconvenience by the way, I can try contacting someone else if you'd like!

You know I heard that, right? Look, Changelings aren’t worth it. The effects are uncontrollable and impermanent. Not to mention they only work in dungeons and not on the surface. I don’t know much about magic other than Dwarfs and Half Foots have a very low tolerance for it, which is not a good combo for you. Unless you can find a way to mitigate mana sickness reliably, I’d shoot for something that isn’t going to hurt you in the long run.

I know surface work isn’t glamorous, but there’s a lot of honest work that needs to be done up there, that I’m sure you’d be very good at. Maybe consider something up top, and study in your free time? Even if you can’t cast anything, you can still learn.