#chbnty

[awretchedthing]

Coming Home (But Not to You) + Someplace New Physical Bind

i've done a few rebinds of paperbacks to hardcovers but this is my first ever full bind :')

i really love this universe written by @lesbianherald and i'm so delighted to have a forever copy! i keep coming back to it, so having it on paper will make it much easier to tab out my favourite parts when i need them.

there's definitely mistakes, especially with the cover (pls don't ask about the back cover it's none of my business). i hit a point where i chose done over good because otherwise this would have taken me 6 months. there is no prize to perfection etc.

Coming Home clocks in at around 360 pages and Someplace New is about 60. i included the playlists for both since i'm a sucker for 'bonus content'. in paper, that means 107 sheets of a4 split into 14 signatures of 7-8 pages.

some retrospectives and the guides i followed below:

what went well:

the actual process of folding signatures and sewing the binding was my favourite part. basically all the work that didn't involve fighting technology lmao

i struggled sourcing a4 short grain but i'm really happy i used it! it's such a floppy, soft book and it sits open on it's own

i hated the cover design in canva but on the book it looks sick as hell. very trust the process kind of deal

what didn't go well:

i'll never learn my lesson about text and heat transfer vinyl. this is where i almost lost my mind

speaking of htv, i really screwed up every step of the case creation. my boards are a little short, i wasted a load of book cloth, and i used to much glue for the endpapers that it seeped through a little. not enough to do major damage to the textblock, but the first and last 20 pages are a little wavy

Resources:

How To Typeset in Google Docs - i followed about 3 different tutorials for doing it in word before finding this video. very easy to follow and she shows how to impose to signatures afterwards

How To Bind on a Budget (Beginner Friendly)

French Link Stitch Bookbinding tutorial

[fieryyflint]

Just finished reading " Coming Home (But Not to You) "by queercatfan on AO3/ @lesbianherald on Tumblr and absolutely loved it.

One specific scene had caught my eye and I just had to draw it! I finally got around to doing so!

^^ With and W/Out Text

I adored this scene, just the domesticity of it. I was feeling for Jayce throughout this whole story but the ending was so worth it.

Just a sketch because the background is killing me, but this scene totally had to be drawn. I really like how it turned out!

[kloofspeaks]

The Creation of a Physical Copy of Coming Home (But Not to You) - The complete summary

Since, I promised I would update this as soon as I started working on it and boy, has it been several hours of me trying to learn how to use Microsoft word, hundreds of songs in my Jayvik playlist and perhaps, a small minor emotional breakdown. I have gotten Coming Home (But Not to You) formatted for bookbinding.

I hope @lesbianherald knows that they have not only written about 678 pages of a glorious and beautiful story but when in book format, that comes out to be 340 pages which is bigger than Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare (which.. you out wrote him twice). I swear, I promised to update you and that’s literally all I have besides a minor practice signature before I venture out to find a book suitable to hold the piece and paper that looks a tad more vintage.

The first draft pages in word looked like this, this was also MY final concept before I went out of my way to make a little page design in procreate. (Featured later)

The Artist featured also gave me permission to use this for this personal project. Please, check them out with this link here: X (their art is gorgeous)

[Written January 3rd, 2025]

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Okay, we’ve settled on some covers. Might be wondering why I didn’t want to make one from scratch? I didn’t want to weather it, personally. It’s a lot more work and the threading and binding itself is going to take most of my time. I’m working on A4 (Actually, it ended up being smaller than A4 at about 11 by 8.25 but when folded it’s 5.5 by 8.25) paper format, having to adjust my measurements as we go because they were drastically different in the word document. I edited some of the features of the pages and actually sketched out a design for my Cricut to use for the cover and chapter page emblems for just a little personal flare!

I actually went to the thrift store and broke apart books that werent in use to provide me a proper book board because the ones I had were too thick! Reuse and recycle, baby! (All for the power of Jayvik)

A little thing about this project is that I actually bought weathered paper for this! Yeah, that.. it didn’t end up coming LMAO. I did buy some book corners for some metal flare. The hexcore design I drew out, myself, in procreate and also cut out in Cricut (thank you, TikTok tutorials).

A little fact as well; I haven’t bookbinded in 3 years! My books when I started were actually GOD awful— which is also part of why I chose a base book frame because that was my biggest weakness when it came to this. The binding itself was actually the easiest part to me when I started! I kid you not, I did very much come out of retirement because of Jayvik. I wanted a physical book I could mark and leave notes on, so why not make it myself? I’m extremely thankful, I got permission to do this and plan on doing this with another one of my favorite Jayvik fanfictions once it is completed, so perhaps… maybe. I don’t know, after I had gotten all the signatures out I had realized that the book covers used WERE TOO SMALL! This is the book before pressing for over 48 hours and in a middle of a snowstorm!

[Written on January 6th, 2025]

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And the book is binded! I had used wax thread which is already thicker and way more durable and actually made for bookbinding. It has already had about two layers of glue on the binding but I tend to do about four just for extra strength and protection. It should be going in the book in about a day or two, which will lead to the final update of this!

It took me about three well-spread out days, six hours of actual sewing and teaching myself how to use a curved needle without violently stabbing my skin but I was able to get the box-stitch in.. I tried to even out the layers as I had binded too fast in one part and two signatures ended up being uneven, whoops. I fixed that with a tap of a literal hammer (No pun intended) but this was truly an experience. The parts with the open black page on front is when the stitching was glued and the book pages were placed on. This also meant I had the actual book for it to sit in ready. Which was crazy to think about.

Would you believe me if I told you I measured this all by eye and had to cut the pages four different ways to make this book actually become a book. The next paragraphs will be glamor shots. Thank you for sticking with me— encouraging me on this because of my LACK of experience in this entire field and prayers for my poor fingers.

[Written on January 13th, 2025]

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And we’re here, it’s finished and settled. Here are the glamor shots. I do plan on doing more bookbinding in the future as I DID enjoy the process but folding and making signatures will forever be my enemy. Here’s the glamor shots and underneath the cut is all my reactions and build up to finishing this monster of a book.

A couple things, I never want to do this again. If I ever do a fanfiction THIS big again. I’m spilting it into two books, perhaps even three depending on how big it is. The symbol on the front is the Piltover symbol, I tried to find Jayce’s Talis house symbol and THERES NOTHING, I literally tried drawing and everything. My Cricut didn’t want to cut it and trust me, I tried for over three hours with the symbol.

What only matters is that I think it’s cute. I think the simplicity and mix of tears added to the final design a lot more than I thought it would.

If I ever do this again. (Knowing me, I will.) I plan on revisiting this, probably make another version when I have more bookbinding knowledge under my belt LMAO, but enjoy this lengthy post. I’m now going to go to bed.

Also huge shout out to my Zelda art book for being my primary book press for this entire thing. I really need a book press.

[Finished, January 14th at 12:08 AM, 2025]

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[elfie4306]

Hyper-fixations & Guilt

I know that logically in order for me to not have a terrible day and actually do the things I need to do, I need to avoid thinking about Jayvik and specifically Coming Home (but not to you) and the epilogue for it.

But that's not fair to them, and I don't want to avoid thinking about them, that truly feels like the most evil thing I could do. And for what? my own mental wellbeing? That's selfish of me. And I enjoy being totally and completely consumed by media, that helps a part of my mental health too. But the guilt from letting everything else go weighs more than the hyperfixation, but also to my mind, that hyperfixation is more important than anything else. To my mind, truly appreciating and interpreting and enjoying and loving, and devoting all my attention and care to Jayvik and praising the amazing and wonderful and talented author of CHBNTY is the most important thing.

But alas, there are real people I have face-to-face contact with everyday that I also care about, who my actions and, more appropriately, my inactions will affect now. And Jayvik will always be there to cherish, and my compliments and praise will surely have the same effect even if they come a few days later.

But I already commented that I would have more to say later today.

I know, but they'll understand, honestly they probably haven't even seen it yet, and might not ever. They're getting a lot of truly deserved compliments and love. Even if they did see it already, they'll understand when I apologize for the delay. Honestly the apology is unnecessary but I know I'm going to write it anyway.

But in a few days I'm not going to be having all the same thoughts I'm having about it now, and these thoughts might be lost forever. And I need these thoughts, they matter to me. And I just had to pause writing this to handle something more pressing, and I've lost my momentum and this--and fuck I have do something else again.

And now it’s several days later and I have no idea where I was going. And I’m sad about it.

Hey, I’m gonna tell you a little secret. What? Even though it’s several days later, you’re still coming to the same thoughts you were last week. Maybe they’re worded differently, or the cloud is vaguer, but that’s only because you’re not entirely consumed by them right now, because you’re on the bus. But I want to be entirely consumed by them, and I feel guilty that I’m not. I know. But in a way that guilt is entirely consuming. And when you’re not feeling that guilt, that’s ok too. Jayvik will always be there. The author will be there. Every mention of the Czech Republic will remind you of Viktor. Every time you see the word hexagon you’ll think of them. Every time you see hexbugs at the store. Every time you hear Cosmic Love. Every time anyone mentions 21 pilots. Every time you open Tumblr. You will have free time, you will have the time you deem long enough to commit to loving them. It might not be right now, but it will come. And they will be there.

[kloofspeaks]

my arm is so TIRED and is on fire. I’ve been working on binding this book for THREE DAYS. It took me six total hours to get to here (might notice that some of the signatures are uneven… I’m gonna fix that with a tap of a hammer quite literal.) but here we are— we’re almost to the finale!

[kloofspeaks]

Small update on the book binding— dear lord, I didn’t think I would’ve needed to order ANYTHING but then again I miscalculated a 700 page fanfiction. I should have it binded today or tomorrow (might give a small sneak-peek of what binding I’m doing because I want to make sure this is going to be a FIRM book)

But, I tried to avoid having to make a cover.. didn’t work the book is too long but at least we can have a custom cover with no prolonging issues but I got hit with a snow storm so— that also delayed what I thought would’ve been done within a week LMAO.

I should be back with photos of the binding and that’ll be my final post before the FULL length in detail draft drops!

[elfie4306]

I’m re-reading the epilogue to CHBNTY and uh… I fear I’ve been read to filth.

This is a screenshot of a little snippet from “Somewhere New” written by the amazing talented queercatfan on AO3. @lesbianherald here on Tumblr.

Hyper-fixations & Guilt

I know that logically in order for me to not have a terrible day and actually do the things I need to do, I need to avoid thinking about Jayvik and specifically Coming Home (but not to you) and the epilogue for it.

But that's not fair to them, and I don't want to avoid thinking about them, that truly feels like the most evil thing I could do. And for what? my own mental wellbeing? That's selfish of me. And I enjoy being totally and completely consumed by media, that helps a part of my mental health too. But the guilt from letting everything else go weighs more than the hyperfixation, but also to my mind, that hyperfixation is more important than anything else. To my mind, truly appreciating and interpreting and enjoying and loving, and devoting all my attention and care to Jayvik and praising the amazing and wonderful and talented author of CHBNTY is the most important thing.

But alas, there are real people I have face-to-face contact with everyday that I also care about, who my actions and, more appropriately, my inactions will affect now. And Jayvik will always be there to cherish, and my compliments and praise will surely have the same effect even if they come a few days later.

But I already commented that I would have more to say later today.

I know, but they'll understand, honestly they probably haven't even seen it yet, and might not ever. They're getting a lot of truly deserved compliments and love. Even if they did see it already, they'll understand when I apologize for the delay. Honestly the apology is unnecessary but I know I'm going to write it anyway.

But in a few days I'm not going to be having all the same thoughts I'm having about it now, and these thoughts might be lost forever. And I need these thoughts, they matter to me. And I just had to pause writing this to handle something more pressing, and I've lost my momentum and this--and fuck I have do something else again.

And now it’s several days later and I have no idea where I was going. And I’m sad about it.

Hey, I’m gonna tell you a little secret. What? Even though it’s several days later, you’re still coming to the same thoughts you were last week. Maybe they’re worded differently, or the cloud is vaguer, but that’s only because you’re not entirely consumed by them right now, because you’re on the bus. But I want to be entirely consumed by them, and I feel guilty that I’m not. I know. But in a way that guilt is entirely consuming. And when you’re not feeling that guilt, that’s ok too. Jayvik will always be there. The author will be there. Every mention of the Czech Republic will remind you of Viktor. Every time you see the word hexagon you’ll think of them. Every time you see hexbugs at the store. Every time you hear Cosmic Love. Every time anyone mentions 21 pilots. Every time you open Tumblr. You will have free time, you will have the time you deem long enough to commit to loving them. It might not be right now, but it will come. And they will be there.