#cheap marketing ploy

[the-rollerchloster]

lol @regardingjenmish @cooloddball - catching up on my dash, and get this beautifully relatable set of posts...

Bring on TorCon, GISH, and some COCKLES SHENANIGANS!

[currently-becoming-potatoes]

I think the real reason that TikTok’s “zepotha” thing is so fucking bad is because the people on TikTok are so much more focused on clout and fame than actually having fun and creating something. Goncharov came from a place of humor and creativity, whilst Zepotha is just a cheap cash grab/marketing ploy.

[usagikei]

꒰ა  YANDERE HEADCANONS with donquixote doflamingo. [n.sfw]

CONTAINS... fem!reader, abusive relationships, mind break, noncon, manipulation, somewhat graphic gore, typical doffy things, et cetera. A/N... i do not condone any of these things in real life. this was so self-indulgent that it's kind of humiliating. i'll most likely end up making a part 2 regardless of how well this post does. ♡

♡ Doflamingo is a man who will get what he wants, even if it means playing the long game. He's had his eyes on you for longer than you can comprehend, and every little occurrence in your life from then on was all a perfectly constructed ploy to have you all to himself. Getting laid off from your job? He bribed your manager. Nearly getting mugged in an alleyway? He hired the thieves. Your landlord kicking you out of the house? He threatened the landlord to do so.

♡ He plays with you like that for a while; all from the distance, enjoying your reactions to your life slowly going downhill. Then, after a year or two of terrorizing you, he gets bored of it soon enough, and finally decides to take real action to make you his.

♡ It's only natural he strikes when you're at your lowest. You can't seem to find work, you've nearly used up all your savings just trying to survive, and there's only so much begging you can do on the streets before your pride tries to fight back. However... just when you think you're finally done for, starving, trembling from the cold, and curled up in an alleyway, a shadow looms over you—and the first thing you see is a malicious grin.

♡ Doffy strikes a deal with you: work under him and he'll cover your food expenses, living expenses, and even throw in a little extra if you ever wanted to treat yourself. It almost sounds too good to be true at first, but that's exactly what Doflamingo's trying to go for. He knows you have no other option but to accept or die from starvation outdoors; his evil grin only grows impossibly wider when you accept his conditions, head hung low out of shame. You were coming with him either way—being submissive was the best choice, however.

♡ But don't get it twisted. You're not joining the family. You're his and his only. He'll either have you reside in his own personal quarters or a room right next to his, and brings you everywhere he goes even with force. You'll be on his lap or by his feet during meals, meetings, any time. He won't put shackles on you or anything; he trusts that you know what will happen if you dare disobey him or act out.

♡ In fact, any attempts at rebelling against him will end absolutely horribly. While he does enjoy someone who fights back here and now to make things fun, it does get irritating after a while. Doflamingo won't hesitate to do the unthinkable to you, even if he does love you; you stopped any attempts at rebelling against him when he used his devil fruit ability to force you to cut his name onto your body until you were sobbing from the pain and pleading for forgiveness.

♡ "After all I've done for you... I graciously took you in when you had no money, no food, no shelter, yet this is the thanks I get? You have no idea where you'd be without me, don't you? Most likely dead in a ditch or sold off to the slave market for a cheap price. Love, I think you should know your place."

♡ Doflamingo won't hesitate to make a statement to anyone else that tries to mess with you, either. Messing with his property was akin to asking for a death wish. Although, he's rather forgiving when it comes to his family—in fact, he finds it amusing when you're blushing in shame as Trebol and Diamante hurl the most vilest words you've ever heard in your life at you. (...he'll even let the two of them have a go at you if he's in the mood to watch you suffer.)

♡ When it comes to sex, he'll expect you to satisfy him whenever and wherever he wants to, completely oblivious to your own needs. Sorting through important documents or discussing certain things with the executives? He'll have you warming his cock with your mouth or your cunt, paying no mind to your embarrassment or to the other's prying eyes. Taking a bath? He'll have you cleaning him with your mouth. Any time, anywhere. Or else.

♡ He doesn't do soft and gentle. Doflamingo will have you crying, bruised, begging and sometimes bleeding by the time he's done with you. Even if you can't handle his cock in you (I mean, come on, he's 10 feet tall for fuck's sake) he'll find a way to shove himself deep in your cunt even if it means hurting you. He'll alternate between derogatory language and praises, trying to take in any reaction he'll get from you in such a sensitive, naked state.

♡ "Look at you, taking in all of me. Did your pretty little cunt miss my cock that much, love? Or have you finally ended up accepting your role as mine, as my whore?"

♡ Expect a lot of kinky shit from him; he'll have you calling him names like Sir, licking his boots, all tied up for him to touch, et cetera... He adores making you feel like you're beneath him, that the two of you are as different as heaven and the earth itself. Sometimes, he'll even share you with his own clone string to see you all fucked up from him and only him.

♡ "Did you think it was over already, dear? Oh, no, trust me, it's only just beginning. I'll have you fucked so hard you'd wish you were dead by the time I'm done with you. Too bad I wouldn't even let you die if you begged me to kill you, huh, darling?"

♡ While he is a yandere, he doesn't... really show his love for you in a typical manner. To him, he's satisfied with showing his love through sex even if forced and spoiling you with gifts after physically and sexually torturing you for hours ends. He doesn't really care if you don't return his feelings for you, because you both already know what'll happen to you if you dare try to reject his advances.

♡ However, in the case where you do finally break and give in to Doffy's unpractical form of love... Oh, dear, you're in for a ride of a lifetime with this cunning, cruel bastard of a man.

—- by cheri usagikei. 2023.

[ancientisopod]

Watching Horror Movies With The Arachkids!!

MILES MORALES - Starting off strong, we’ve got Miles! This guy loves horror movies, but he’s still scared of them. He’s the kind to get super invested in a horror movie, but whenever something remotely scary happens, he’s under a pillow. When you go to bed that night, you have to stay up with him for about an hour to reassure him that nothing will happen to you if he falls asleep. He really just worries about your safety. If you’re scared of horror movies in this scenario, then you are both terrified. He ESPECIALLY hates slasher movies. You both sit on the couch as you scream in terror and hold each other as each jumpscare appears.

GWEN STACEY - She LOVES horror movies. So much, that it’s probably unhealthy. In this scenario, you’d be the one scared of the movie she picked. She always picks the more hardcore horror movies, just to watch you and tease you as you bury your face into her arm/shoulder/etc. When you go to bed that night, she has to hold you until you fall asleep. She claims to not like physical contact, but this is all a ploy, an excuse for her to give you said physical contact. If you aren’t scared of horror movies in this scenario, you both get so invested in them, and stay up all night afterward, discussing the plot, and theories.

HOBIE BROWN - In this scenario, you two are both MAJOR horror movie fans. You watch them every night before bed, going through the list. You make fun of how unrealistic they are together, and laugh at the cheap marketing ploys. You also pirate them, because he refuses to pay a Netflix subscription. If you are scared of horror movies in this scenario, then he has his arm around you the whole time, as if he’s protecting you from the movie. He stays up with you if you can’t sleep and makes you calming herbal tea.

Pavitr Prabhakar - Now, if you thought MILES was bad… wait for Pavitr. You both watch a tame horror movie and he is sitting beside you, crying and screaming almost every second. He clings to you, holding on for dear life. If you are scared of horror movies in this scenario, you would never be able to match up to Pavitr’s terror. You’d have to comfort him, despite being terrified yourself.

Feel free to add your own headcanons!

[ambassadorarlert]

nsfw content. 18+. minors do not interact.

you really hoped no one saw the mistake you made. you would literally die if anyone you knew in person found out about your onlyfans. how you managed to tweet the direct link to your account on your main instead of your personal nsfw account. but you were quick enough to catch your mistake and fix it. deleting the link before anybody could see.

however, armin was just a little bit faster than you.

he didn't have time to stare at hisphone with his mouth open in disbelief. armin had never clicked on anything so fast. he had an account made and debit card linked within seconds. he obviously didn't put his real name, or his real picture. as grateful as he was that the stars aligned just right for him, he wanted to be anonymous.

your monthly subscription was insultingly low for someone as beautiful and breathtaking as you. armin supposed that was part of your marketing ploy; cheap enough for it to be affordable, but just enough to gain some kind of profit. there was no way armin could put a price on you. but, unlimited videos of you touching yourself, audio clips of masturbation instructions, pictures of places he had only dreamed about, all for $5.99. he had to admit, that was quite a steal.

armin learned your upload schedule and knew it off the back of his hand. he was amazed at how you had time to make content every day. his favorite day of the week was wednesday, as that was a day you designated for videos of you playing with yourself. he’d come home from work and, sometimes, from hanging out with his friends with you included. you hadn’t suspected a thing. you were armin’s dirty little secret.

his blood reached a boiling temperature when he came home one day to find a five minute video of you being railed from behind, ass cheeks jiggling from the force of the man slamming himself inside you. armin didn’t have a problem with you having other relationships, the problem was whose bedsheets you were on top of. he recognized the tattoo on the back of the wrist; roman numerals of his mothers birth year — it was eren.

he was enraged. not at you, of course. never. at eren. could armin not have one thing for himself? why did eren have to worm his way into everything? the more armin watched, the worse he felt, the more he critiqued eren and the way he fucks you. it was boring. uninteresting. he could click on any video on pornhub and get the same vibe. typical of eren to be so unoriginal and unromantic. the video had ended and armin sat in his chair, no longer erect, and closed his laptop screen with a sharp snap.

“whatever.” armin sucked his teeth.

reblogs and feedback appreciated <3

[swsequelsalt]

"Why The Last Jedi Isn't Just Bad - It's Toxic" by M. Krasava

DISCLAIMER: This editorial was originally published on Scavenger's Holocron, a sadly-now-defunct Star Wars news site. I feel like it's a tragedy to have it deleted from the Internet and only accessible to dedicated parties who know about it via the Wayback Machine, so I'm reposting it here as a form of greater preservation/availability.

Currently being regarded as the most controversial Star Wars film to date, fans of the popular franchise seem to have settled into two groups: this is either the best Star Wars film ever made, or the worst. Cinematically speaking, the movie has stunning visuals and a great cast of actors, but that’s not the problem.

The problem is that while The Last Jedi is being branded as the most feminist Star Wars film to date, its “feminism” seems like a cheap marketing ploy to appeal to a wiser audience and downplays some of the key problems within the film itself: it’s built on a foundation of sexism, misogyny, and racism. In other words, if you’re anything other than a white male, this film isn’t made for you.

And director Rian Johnson hasn’t exactly been shy about his opinion regarding the film’s white male villain, Kylo Ren. Rian told Empire Magazine that, “We can all relate to Kylo: to that anger of being in the turmoil of adolescence and figuring out who he’s going to be as a man.”

The only problem is that we can’t. Despite Rian’s insistence that this film is about the “transition from adolescence into adulthood,” Kylo Ren is already a well-established adult with a history of bad choices. We know from the canon Star Wars novel Bloodline, written by Claudia Gray, that Kylo Ren was at least 23 years old when he destroyed Luke’s Academy. At this point, he’s already an adult capable of making his own choices.

The film reveals that the final push towards the “dark side” was when Ben Solo awoke to see Luke standing over him with his lightsaber while he was sleeping. Without considering the possibility of a miscommunication, Ben Solo brought the roof down on the last Jedi, and then systemically went about converting or eliminating the rest of the students in Luke’s school before burning it to the ground. From there it can be presumed that he officially took on the role of Snoke’s apprentice, dubbing himself Kylo Ren as he joined the ranks of the First Order.

The problem is that it doesn’t matter. There’s nothing relateable about being a white adult male who decides to sign up with a Nazi organization and the very premise that we should try to have sympathy for such a character is chilling, especially when you consider that he murdered Han Solo not more than a week prior in film time.

(PUTTING THE REST UNDER A CUT)

But there’s another element to Kylo Ren that makes him harder to relate to. He comes from a place of privilege in society. Ben Solo was born to two war heroes, and while those might be big shoes to fill, there’s nothing that would indicate that Han and Leia were terrible parents to their son. In The Force Awakens, Leia admits that she sent Ben to train with Luke because she feared Snoke’s growing influence on her son (turns out, she had a right to be concerned). In Chuck Wendig’s canon novel, Empire’s End, from the Star Wars: Aftermath series, we see Han excited, if not a little daunted, about the possibility of becoming a father.

In other words, there’s nothing relateable when you think about a wealthy white male growing up sure of his place in the world and deciding to leave it all behind to join a fascist organization.

Compounding on this, there is someone who is relateable: Finn. Finn was not born from a place of privilege. If anything, we still know very little about Finn’s origins aside from the fact that he was abducted from his parents and raised to be a Stormtrooper. Despite years of conditioning and being ranked as the top cadet in his class, Finn was able to maintain his sense of self and when it came down to his first battle, he decided not to shoot and kill an unarmed villager.

This is the character that most people should be able to relate to. Finn is a character that isn’t sure of his place in the world. He grew up with the First Order and left everything that he knew behind him in order to try to do what he thought was right. Although he initially planned to seek a quick exit from the conflict at Maz’s castle, he didn’t hesitate to rejoin the struggle when he discovered that Rey was in danger. Finn spent most of his time in The Force Awakens running away from something – the First Order, from Jakku, from delivering BB-8 to the Resistance, but we see his progression throughout the movie to the point where he risks his life for Rey and helps the Resistance destroy the Starkiller base. At this point, Finn has rightfully earned his status as a hero.

Until The Last Jedi where Finn is again painted as selfish and cowardly, and the film does not shy away from this fact. Initially branded as a traitor by Rose when he tries to get the beacon as far away as possible to prevent Rey from falling into a trap, he is consistently belittled by Rose throughout the film. She consistently calls him cowardly and self-centered, and Finn’s characterization seems to shift in order to fit this description. When Finn is explaining his plan on hyperspace tracking to Poe, he is excited and confident: he can do this. When he gets to Canto Bight, he suddenly regresses, becoming immature and distracted by the glitz and glamour all around him. Finn knows what’s on the line. Rey is on the line. Poe is on the line. The Resistance has less than 24 hours, and yet he suddenly becomes bumbling and distracted.

This becomes Finn’s character throughout the rest of the film. Brash, impulsive, and worse, being frequently portrayed as the butt of everyone’s jokes. When we first see Finn, he is wandering about the halls of the Resistance in nothing but a bacta suit, as if Finn has suddenly forgotten how to care for himself. The film plays into the stereotypes that many people have about black male individuals. Instead of being treated as the hero of the Resistance, Finn is relegated to a comedic side role based on slapstick humor and unfunny comedy that ultimately doesn’t contribute anything to the plot.

In other words, Finn’s side plot reflects the film’s stance of diversity: we’ll wave it in your face for a few minutes before we wave it aside to make way for the two white protagonists. It’s a bold statement, but not untrue. Rian Johnson first joked that it would be “funny” to leave Finn in a coma for the entire film: “We did at some point joke that it would be great to just have him be in a coma for the whole movie and keep cutting back to him.” He explains that each of these cuts back to Finn would have him uttering some nonsense in his unconscious state, and at no point in the entire run time of the movie would the former Stormtrooper wake up. 

When John Boyega first accepted the role of Finn, JJ Abrams told him that he was going to be the new star of Star Wars. Rian Johnson blatantly admitted that it would be “funny” to simply delegate the black lead to the sidelines, where he doesn’t have more than a few scenes of incoherent babbling to serve as comic relief.

Not to mention, it’s Rose who ultimately has to teach Finn about the seedy belly of Canto Bight and how it operates: through slave labor. Another character shouldn’t have to explain to Finn, of all characters, the tortures and ills of slavery. After all, that’s the only life Finn’s known, taken as his family and raised in a life of servitude as a Stormtrooper to the First Order.

The underlying racism in The Last Jedi does not, unfortunately, stop with Finn’s character. We know a lot more about Poe Dameron’s character from the popular Poe Dameron comic series that highlights Poe’s adventures with Black Squadron before they find Lor San Tekka.

In fact, Poe’s arc is highlighted by its racism, as Poe’s character is reduced to a mere stereotype of his ethnicity. From the Before the Awakening, piloting flight logs, and comic series, we have a complete picture of who Poe is as a character. He tells L’ulo, “I’m the best. But you’re the best too” which highlights who he is as a person. He is a gentle soul that sees the best in people, trusting Finn not only to help him escape, but to lower the shields on the Starkiller Base when he said he could. Poe is a genuine nice guy who would give the shirt, er, jacket off their back to help a stranger.

And we see absolutely none of this in The Last Jedi. 

Poe is described as rash, dangerous, and aggressive by Vice Admiral Holdo, played by veteran actress Laura Dern. She’s dismissive of him, and while a part of it does play into more harmful stereotypes that I’ll get into later, in this instance, it’s hard not to. In the opening first scene, Poe is prepared to let everyone, everyone die just to take out a First Order Dreadnought. Even though successful, Poe seems more focused on the success of his mission than the countless deaths of his fellow Resistance fighters.

And that is not who Poe Dameron is. To say so makes a complete mockery of a fantastic character whose character has already been set and esteemed by fans. Changing his character to comply with stereotypes in order to try to advance the plot isn’t “moral ambiguity” or “challenging the character” – it’s just bad writing.

In short, Poe becomes aggressive, dangerous and hotheaded, all to fulfill the stereotypical role that the narrative wants him to play. His character attitudes are changed in order to fulfill a plot device, and that’s the conflict set up between himself and Vice Admiral Holdo.

This conflict is disappointing. It focuses on a female leader putting an aggressive, chauvinistic male in his place. It’s supposed to be empowering, but it’s not, especially when you have to have one character act so differently in order to get to that point. The problem is that the kind of feminism this movie is preaching is white feminism, which is dangerous in and of itself.

But what does white feminism mean in this case? Vice Admiral Holdo, and even Rose, both undermine and belittle Finn and Poe, treating them like children. This concept of infantalization upholds racist stereotypes of black and Latino men being both incompetent and irrational. In Poe’s case, it works to also uplift the alleged moral superiority of white women over people of color. And it’s not feminism.

It’s just disgusting.

Holdo is held up as someone that people in the Resistance are supposed to respect as a leader, and yet she refuses to tell the very people she’s leading what their plan is, citing Poe’s earlier reckless actions as an excuse. Even according to the Navy’s Leadership Principles, keeping your people informed is the second principle on the list. In other words? It’s pretty important. Vice Admiral Holdo’s refusal to do so is driven by petty motives, and while Poe is painted as ridiculous and childish the entire movie, he’s actually proven right when the First Order does the very thing he was afraid they would do.

One of the “lessons” from Poe’s story line is you should always blindly trust authority figures even when they provide no valid reason for doing so, and this is an extremely dangerous and topic example to set, especially in today’s society when people of color are so often made targets of police brutality, which again feeds back into the movie’s underlying theme of systematic racism.

Holdo herself seeks redemption from her mistakes by turning around and ramming her ship through theirs – an admittedly cool move, although it would be cooler had we not seen Admiral Raddus suggest the idea of plowing through a ship no more than a year earlier – and dies so that Leia can explain to Poe that Holdo was a good leader (without really stating how) because she was more concerned with fulfilling the mission without getting credit for it.

The problem with this? It means that Holdo had to die in order for Poe to “understand” what it meant to be a leader. This doesn’t work for two reasons. For one, Poe is a decorated Commander who had already served as a leader in the Republic Navy before joining the Resistance. Painting him as a cocky flyboy with a chip on his shoulder just doesn’t work when it goes against everything we’ve been told about his character. The “lesson” Poe was supposed to learn was one he already knew.

The second problem is that it meant that Holdo had to die in order for Poe to learn this lesson. In other words, we’re back to that age-old trope: a woman had to die in order to advance the plot/characterization of a male character.

And that’s where we get to our final topic: sexism. For a movie that preaches itself as so overtly feminist, it is rich with sexist undertones that are immediately apparent on the surface. Most of these are notably in the interactions between Rey and Kylo Ren, but there’s another character that I wanted to touch upon first. Rose Tico.

Despite Kelly Marie Tran’s boundless enthusiasm for her role, Rose Tico is ultimately underwhelming as a character. Despite mourning the death of her sister, her ultimate presence in the film seemed to be reduced to a girl with a bad crush on Finn.

I’ve already touched upon how poorly Rose treats Finn, but Rose herself seems to have gotten the short end of the stick in terms of the plot. Her character exists only to serve Rian’s image that your heroes aren’t what they seem, tazing Finn when she sees him trying to escape. From then on, Rose’s status seems to be downgraded to “Finn’s crush” as seen in the description of this deleted scene:

Originally, the film spent some more time clarifying the dynamic between Rey and Finn, and further setting up Rose’s crush on the Resistance “hero.” Rose chastises Finn for “pining for Rey,” which Finn quickly denies, claiming that he was “raised to fight” and that he finally found something to fight for in his friend, Rey. “Whatever,” responds Rose with a hint of jealousy.

Rose’s constant nagging of Finn and being catty about Rey enforces a negative female stereotype that has no business in a Hollywood blockbuster that claims to be catered to young girls, especially when it seems that Rose’s role has been reduced to working the love triangle dynamic between Finn and Rey. This seems like it could only lead to a destructive end for the character, especially considering how she attempts to save Finn’s life by almost sacrificing her own at the end of the film. Rose presents us once again with the trope that a female character must sacrifice herself in order to advance the plot of the male character, in this case, to prove her love for him. It’s a frustrating trope, made all the more exhausting when you consider what her role might be in the next film.

If you focus on the look Rey gives Finn putting a blanket over the unconscious Rose, it sets up tension for the next film: assuming Rey and Rose engage in competition for Finn’s attention, putting the two girls at odds with one another.

Because if the sexism in this movie wasn’t blatant enough, that’s just what Star Wars needs: two girls fighting over a guy. While frustrating to watch, it’s also extremely degrading to both characters and reduces both of their arcs into nothing more than instruments to direct the story of a male character.

Hopefully JJ will take the next episode in a different direction, but the damage that has already occurred in this film cannot be understated. There is, unfortunately, a lot of ground to cover regarding Rey’s story, so I’m going to start with the most visually striking one: Rey’s costume.

In The Last Jedi, Rey adopts what has been dubbed her “Jedi Training” outfit, trading out her three signature buns for a simpler hairstyle and trading out her light Jedi garb for a bit of a darker color. It’s a way for Rey to separate herself from the girl we saw crying desperately over her parent’s retreating ship on Jakku, keeping the same appearance a decade later in the hopes that they would come back to recognize her.

Many who speculated that Rey would undergo this physical transition after she discovered the true origin of her parents and worked to free herself of that disappointment found themselves disappointed. Rey didn’t change her clothes and her hair after she learned about her parentage from Kylo Ren, she learned about it after.

Despite being wet from the rain, another reason for this change is that she was shipping herself off in a box to see Kylo Ren, prompting those who want them to be romantically involved to start citing the Snow White parallels. It’s not hard to believe that the reason for this change was to make Rey appear more feminine. With her hair down, she looks more like a girl and less like the hardened warrior who had to fend for herself back on Jakku.

But wait, wouldn’t that mean that Rey’s entire role in the movie basically focused on developing Kylo Ren as a character? It does, and you wouldn’t be wrong to think that way. Even during Rey’s training sessions with Luke, the conversation is always geared back to Kylo Ren in some way, whether it’s Luke talking about his past or Rey assuring Luke that she won’t end up like Kylo. Either way, we hear Kylo’s name spoken more times between them than we actually hear anything about the Jedi or the things that Luke learned about the Force on his travels (say, Pillio, perhaps?)

It becomes clear early on that despite Rian Johnson saying that the film isn’t about what the fans want, that certain scenes were added in to appeal to a certain demographic. For example, Adam Driver’s uncomfortable shirtless scene?

Rian himself says that the scene had a “specific purpose” of creating an increasing feeling of “uncomfortable intimacy.” In other words, Kylo Ren’s shirtless scene is basically synonymous with a dick pic: no one asked for it, but there it is, one of the most subtle forms of sexual harassment. Think about this another way: if Rey’s character was really a boy, would the shirtless scene still be present? Or necessary?

Hint: it’s not.

The fact that Rey’s character only seems to exist to play a role in Kylo’s story is concerning, considering that she is touted as the protagonist of the sequel trilogy. Even though she witnessed him murder Han Solo no more than a few days prior, she becomes emotionally intimate with him pretty quickly, opening up to him about the strange experiences she had in the “dark place” beneath the island.

And therein lies the problem. When they touched hands, Snoke gave her a vision of Kylo Ren turning back to the light side to compel her to rush off to the Supremacy in the hopes that she could turn Kylo Ren back to the light and turn the tide of the war.

There’s only one problem with that.

It’s not her problem.

Rey was a civilian. As Kylo Ren himself told her, “You have no place in this story.” She has no part in the conflict between the First Order and the Resistance, and yet she was swept up in it all the same. It shouldn’t be necessary for her to rush off and turn the tide of the war, and while it fits with the Star Wars theme of how one person can make a difference, the trope that a woman must rush off and sacrifice herself in order to progress a man’s character and offer him redemption has been a long-running frustrating trope. If Rey wants to help the Resistance, that’s her choice, but it shouldn’t be necessary to rush off and try to save the person who kidnapped and abused her.

It’s one of the things that makes any sort of Kylo Ren and Rey team-up so off-putting. In The Force Awakens, he kidnaps her and invades her mind in order to try to find the location of the map. After she escapes, he confronts her in the forest, throwing her into a tree several feet up in the air in a move that could have potentially killed her. Then she wakes up just in time to watch him slice through Finn in a move that could have killed him.

Oh, and did I forget to mention how she watched him murder a defenseless Han Solo right before her eyes only moments before? The man who, as Kylo himself taunted, presented a father figure that she never had?

In other words, Rey has absolutely no reason to trust Kylo Ren. She has no reason to even want him to get redemption. For all of Rian’s talk about how he wanted to keep this film “morally grey,” trying to make a genocidal murderer relateable, or even redeemable, was not a step in the right direction. Wouldn’t it have been more compelling to watch Rey wrestle with the ramifications of eliminating Kylo Ren once and for all? Instead of trying to find redemption for the dark side, wouldn’t it have been far more interesting to explore a situation in which Rey realizes that good people must sometimes do bad things for an overall good to result? 

Perhaps, but that’s not the film we got. Instead we got a team-up between Kylo Ren and Rey where, moments after they work together, their alliance is quickly severed. Rey asks Kylo to call off the attack that is sure to eliminate the Resistance, including Finn. Kylo, however, refuses and tells her to move on and join him in ruling. He tells her, “You come from nothing. You’re nothing. But not to me.”

Fortunately Rey grabs the lightsaber and rejects his offer, and the final scene of her closing the Millennium Falcon doors on him seems to confirm that she has severed her connection for good. The problem? The damage has already been done.

Rian Johnson has already set up the Kylo Ren and Rey dynamic to be potentially romantic, between the shirtless scene, the hand touching scene, to be filled with an uncomfortable kind of sexual tension between the girl that declared to Maz, “I don’t want a part of any of this” and the man that murdered his father.

As troubling as that notion is, it does get worse. Kylo Ren tells Rey, “You come from nothing. You are nothing. But not to me.”

The problem is that Kylo Ren’s frequent gaslighting and emotional manipulation throughout the two films reaches its climax: he has discarded Snoke and wants to use the powerful, yet naive Rey, to further his own power. Still, the sexual if not romantic implications are there, pushed along by a group of shippers that call themselves “Reylos,” who desperately seek for Rey to redeem Kylo through, well, you get the idea.

There are several problems with this. One of the first ones is the fact that Kylo Ren is 32 years old, whereas Rey is only 19. While many are quick to claim that age is just a number, Rey is emotionally immature, having been isolated on Jakku for most of her life. There is absolutely no good reason to try to push her into any sort of relationship with someone who is so destructive, especially when the sole reason for doing so is to help Kylo Ren find redemption.

The line, “You’re nothing…but not to me” is a quote that unfortunately most women have heard far too often. It’s an emotional manipulation tactic in order to try to isolate a woman from her friends and family until she only relies on her abuser for support, and this is exactly what Kylo Ren is trying to do here. With Luke unwilling to teach her, Kylo wants Rey to rely on him, and solely him, so that he can use her power and manipulate her to further his own goals (which is to lead the First Order to…conquer the galaxy? It’s not quite clear.)

It’s a frightening message, especially when you think about who this movie is supposedly marketed to. Think about how many children dressed up as Rey for Halloween. How do we explain to girls that the man who killed Han Solo, the man who emotionally manipulated her and tried to use her just to validate himself, is the person that she should ultimately fall in love with? It paints a dangerous picture that girls internalize before they have enough experience to make their own decisions regarding their own relationships.

Remember Edward Cullen’s creepy manipulation in Twilight? Apparently that’s crept into Star Wars as well.

And this gets to the heart of the overall problem. The Last Jedi is ultimately soaked in sexism, misogyny and racism, and yet Kathleen Kennedy and Bob Iger widely praised the film before its release. How can Kathleen Kennedy, who said that she was proud to have a feminist icon in Rey, be willing to reduce Rey’s entire story to “the love interest?” If the executives and storygroup approved such blatant racism and actively worked to rewrite characters in order to fit their stereotypical narrative, what hope do we have that the next trilogy will be better, especially when they gave Rian Johnson full control over its content?

Rian himself believes that Darth Vader was worse than Kylo Ren, and while that is probably a conversation as controversial as the movie itself, Rian still wholeheartedly believes that despite what happened in The Last Jedi, that Kylo Ren can be redeemed. It shows that the storyline that JJ Abrams set up has been reduced to simply furthering the narrative of the white villain, and the rest of the characters are simply players in his story, which is why they exist as nothing more than stereotypes in Rian Johnson’s version of Star Wars.

And that’s the disappointment. While The Force Awakens received criticism for being too similar to its predecessor, A New Hope, JJ did set up some interesting and mysterious characters. While Captain Phasma’s role was ultimately underwhelming, fans were assured that she would have a much bigger role to play in Rian Johnson’s world.

Unfortunately, we all know how that turned out. 

Phasma’s quick dismissal wasn’t the only disappointment. Snoke was killed off without any satisfying explanation to who he was or even what he wanted the First Order to do. The Knights of Ren, which were mentioned in The Force Awakens and played a role in Rey’s vision, disappeared from the narrative entirely, instead being replaced by Rian’s Praetorian Guards.

For many, Luke Skywalker’s return was the biggest disappointment. Mark has made no secret in recent weeks citing how he didn’t agree with Rian Johnson’s vision of Luke and how he wished George Lucas had directed the sequel trilogy instead, a mere three days before The Last Jedi hit theatres. It fits into Rian Johnson’s grim version of reality: our heroes can be defeated, and idolizing legends is ultimately unsettling and disappointing when faced with reality.

But by disappearing into the Force, did Luke not himself become a legend, the very thing that Rian seems to chide against? The film’s “message” seems to give audiences such mixed signals, it’s not surprising that audiences claim that the film seemed better after a second viewing: basic elements of the plot just doesn’t make sense, like how the First Order has suddenly developed hyperspace tracking despite the film only taking place a few days after the events of The Force Awakens. 

There are other plot holes that point out the flaws in logic in the story: where did Rey learn to swim on Jakku? How can bombers drop bombs in space when there’s no gravity for the bombs to fall? Since space exists in three dimensions, why didn’t the First Order just have a ship drop out into hyperspace in front of the Resistance Star Cruiser and blow it to bits? And why was General Hux, a serious, straight-faced villain in The Force Awakens, who ordered the destruction of the Hosnian System, delegated to a comedic side role who’s only function was to serve as a cheap laugh and be the butt of an awkward your mom joke? Instead of using the antagonism between Kylo Ren and General Hux to show the crumbling of the First Order and how the small band of Resistance heroes we’re left with at the end of the movie might stand a chance against them, it seems that the First Order’s army, which was flowing with Nazi imagery in The Force Awakens has just been reduced to campy slapstick humor.

Despite these obvious problems, the most glaring ones still remain in the fact that Star Wars is a film that claims to market itself to the people it exploits and ultimately rejects. It’s no wonder that merchandise and ticket sales have dropped when the movie is back to focusing on a white male lead, like so many other before it. Kylo Ren tells Rey that you have no part in this story, that she doesn’t belong – something that minorities, women, and the LGBTQ+ community have been hearing their whole lives.

But if this movie isn’t made for these people, then why does Disney keep trying to insist that it is? Most people who have been critical of the film have been met with the chorus of, “You’re just upset that you didn’t get what you wanted” as if it’s somehow wrong to expect more from what you receive. The story was set up so that we would get answers. How someone as powerful as Snoke managed to manipulate Kylo Ren from the womb and grow the First Order from the seeds of the Empire, Phasma’s increased involvement, and especially the question of Rey’s parentage, has been dangled in front of us like a carrot on a stick for the past two years, and it’s ultimately unsatisfying to see all those threads being clipped off and brushed aside with a, “Oh! It didn’t even matter!”

If it didn’t matter, then why feel the need to keep up the secrecy and suspense for two years, when the final product is ultimately disappointing? (Point not withstanding, Kylo Ren tells Rey that Snoke showed him that her parents were buried in a pauper’s grave on Jakku. Why her parents would actually return to Jakku, or whether Snoke was actually telling the truth, is a matter that JJ has yet to resolve.)

It’s not wrong to be a critical consumer of the media that we consume. It’s not wrong to say that we deserve something better. Minorities and women can and should demand to be treated with more respect than they were shown in this film, and the overwhelming amount of racism and misogyny in this film is something that most avid fans of the film have not provided an answer for.

People who claim that The Last Jedi is a good movie, while at the same time acknowledging how deeply misogynistic and racist it is, are contributing to the larger problem we have as a society. It’s saying, “I know it’s racist and misogynistic, but it entertained me, so I’m okay with it.”

It might just be fiction. It might just be a story. But all media we consume influences us, subconsciously or not, in ways that we may not even be aware of. Star Wars may not be real. These characters may not be real.

But it still affects how you feel, and that seems pretty real to me.

[my-mt-heart]

How can AMC survive this atrocious plot and shipbaiting without delivering romantic Caryl?

I'm pretty sure they are using smoke and mirrors to cover for the very poor ratings it has been getting. Just like they are using the same old marketing techniques of using Caryl to advertise (because it sells) and create a buzz to try to drum up viewer interest, when they actually deliver nothing we want to see. AMC has already established itself as a liar and a cheat when they cancelled the origin Caryl spinoff and replaced it with this disastrous imitation.

I do not trust them to deliver what should have been given in the flagship show, so I won't give it my attention on my social media until I actually see real footage of Caryl kissing each other on the lips and/or in bed together, naked. AS THEY SHOULD BE.

That’s fair. AMC hasn’t given us any reason to trust they’ll deliver romantic canon, and I do wonder how they expect to hold Caryl fans’ attention after S1 is over. Carol’s cameo will get a lot of buzz, but without more substance than “yay, she’s back,” it won’t last. Time to start focusing on the writing instead of cheap marketing ploys 🤷🏻‍♀️

[episodicnostalgia]

Comic Book Break: The End of Venom (but not really even a little bit)

Featured artwork Pencils: Mark Bagley Inks: Randy Emberlin

A few posts ago I talked about how it took roughly a year after my initial introduction to Venom (through the fold-out poster from the interior of “Amazing Spider-man #365”) before I would finally get to read a full issue featuring the character.  By that point I had become as well versed on the Symbiote lore as I was able to be without the aid of the internet, which basically meant I was limited to the comics my dad bought me, along with any cursory trivia he’d absorbed from glancing through back issues in the local comic shop.  But issues #374 & #375 would finally reward my patience with Spider-man and Venom’s “FINAL CONFRONTATION!”  And oh lordy, they did not disappoint. 

The story itself is entertaining enough, but it was Mark Bagley’s artwork that really left an impression on me. I mean no disrespect to Todd McFarlane here, but while he may have co-created the character, Bagley’s take was always the definitive version for me.  Bagley’s artwork just makes him look so nightmarishly intimidating, and even with ‘the comics code’ censorship guidelines, there was no mistaking with my very-active-imagination what the character was capable of.  I do remember feeling incredibly fortunate that I was even allowed to read those issues (my folks were fairly cautious about exposing me to graphic violence), especially considering this would be Venom’s last appearance ever, if the cover was anything to go by.  After all, who would just lie about something like that?

Of course, it wouldn’t actually be the last time the those two would cross paths, or even butt heads.  In fact, Venom would end up returning only three issues later for the ‘maximum carnage’ saga.  But these issues did (sort of) signal a change in the character that would shift his/their motivations moving into Venom’s turn as an anti-hero under the ‘Lethal Protector’ moniker, which I never found as interesting.  In theory, it’s a character choice that I could get behind, but sadly Venom became a victim to weak writing and oversaturation.  Of course, the irony isn’t lost on me that just as I discovered the character, his relevance in the larger cultural paradigm was about to implode.  Thankfully I remained largely oblivious to all for some time, as my continued exposure to Venom would be drip fed to me through back issues or alternative media (e.g. the animated series).

Honestly though, even though these issues were obviously being sold using a cheap marketing ploy, I do think it’s a pretty solid point to ‘end’ the characters story, and least for that particular era.  After all, that is the thing with comics books, you kind of have to decide for yourself when to come-and-go.

That’s also part of the fun.

[demonfox38]

Completed: Quest: Brian's Journey

Question: have you ever unironically loved something a majority of people consider awful?

Like, I don't mean a shitty person. I’m talking crappy media. LIke, is there at least one movie that was featured on "Mystery Science Theater 3000" or "Rifftrax" that you would watch without jokes? Do you have any cheap sci-fi novels or trashy paperback novels that are falling apart from how often you've re-read them? Have you ever seen a kid's show that was clearly just a ploy for marketing toys and loved it regardless?

I'm bringing this up because, in order to talk about "Quest: Brian's Journey," I'm going to have to talk about "Quest 64." Like, what I find genuinely special about that game, and why I consider this game's existence a miracle.

If you can't understand loving garbage, you're not going to get anything else out of this evaluation.

"Quest: Brian's Journey" is a 2000 Gameboy Color RPG that takes the root function and plot of the Nintendo 64 game "Quest 64" and "demakes" it for the lower-powered hardware. In some fashion, it could be considered a sibling to titles like the GameBoy version of "Metal Gear Solid," "Resident Evil Gaiden," and "Perfect Dark." Those titles were at least associated with games from the PlayStation and Nintendo 64 era that people generally considered good. The predecessor for "Quest: Brian's Journey," on the other hand…

Look. I know why "Quest 64" is bagged on. In an era bursting at the seams with FMV cutscenes, nascent voice acting, and long, complex storylines, "Quest 64" is downright rudimentary. Would it have done okay, had it been released at the beginning of the Nintendo 64's life? Maybe. But, in 1998? In the era of Squaresoft's indominable reign in the west? It was—and to some extent remains—a joke. Doubly so after more successful Nintendo 64 releases (particularly the big gun "The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time", released only a handful of months later.)

Would it have been nice to have some level of cutscenes and puppetry in "Quest 64"? Absolutely. Maybe something more than a text crawl for an ending? Duh! "Quest 64" is a game released in a beta state, desperately needing at least six months of polish before it should have been dropped on the planet. But, for all its perceived flaws, I don't hate "Quest 64." In fact, I very much enjoy it! The game is lively, colorful, pleasantly varied in character and enemy design, and relaxing to play. For me, it scratches the same itch as archery or pool. It's a game that values positioning, accuracy, and exploration. All good stuff! Drop on top of that a leveling system that augments stats based on your actions and enemy reactions, and grinding suddenly becomes both rewarding and addicting. Like, no matter how you screw up, at least you'll be making progress.

Despite liking "Quest 64," it took me a long time to hear of its follow up games. (Yes, that's right, games. But one is just a "Dig Dug" kind of clone, so don't get too excited.) Like, I only heard about "Quest: Brian's Journey" a few years ago when it was featured in an RPG Limit Break race. I'm still baffled it took me almost 20 years to hear about it. Like, hell. Am I really that much out of the loop, or was there just nothing in terms of marketing for this game? I mean, I'd believe that, but I still feel weird for being so clueless as to its existence. Talk about totally missing your audience.

I suppose when your audience is one of out a million people, someone's going to slip through the cracks.

Despite being a rudimentary port, "Quest: Brian's Journey"'s plot ends up being more complex than its predecessor. The beats are mostly the same, with the hero leaving his monastery home to pursue his father across his Celtic-inspired homeland, acquiring magical stones and driving off monsters and demons in the process. However, more effort has been put into illustrating each plot point, clearly and precisely spelling out or expanding each beat of the story like…I don't know. A real video game! Additional boss fights are also present, giving a little bit of an extra surprise to players of the first game. Granted, it's not the most complex adventure in the world, but it gives way more personality and explanation to characters than before. Like, I can better understand Colleen's hatred for the pirate Kiliac, and Leonardo's whole deal makes way more sense.

Also, the fate of Brian's father is 100% not missable this time! So, hooray for clarity! Could have done without the bit where a 14-year-old princess is being forced into matchmaking, though. That's just weird and creepy.

Most of the environments from the previous game are here, minus Glencoe Forest. (Like, I can see where it roughly was, but it's just tiles instead of its own area.) While not a one-to-one map recreation from the previous game, it's parsable enough to know what is what. Most of the difficulty navigating them is due to the maze-like structure of most environments. Granted, missing treasures is not that big of a deal. The game is very generous with item drops in battles, and you'll easily max out your spirit statistics before you find them all in game.

It's wild how easy it is to overclock Brian in this game. Like, it's mostly the same leveling system as before, taking into account a player's actions and suffered damage to augment health, MP, evasion, defense, and the aforementioned spirit pool. In "Quest 64", it would take days to fully max out your statistics, with players often finishing their game at 40-43 spirits per element out of the max of 50. Here? It all accumulates way faster. Like, I easily hit the 50 max spirits per element before reaching Brannoch Castle (the penultimate dungeon), and I was able to max out HP just casually goofing around after beating the game. The only stat that was a pain in the ass (literally) to level up was defense, and even that is easy to push up to at least 70.

The battle system is intuitive, especially for people who have played the previous game. It's just A to whack with a stick, B to line up spells, and Start to use items. About the only curveball here is the way you learn spells. Previously, "Quest 64" only cared about a single element's level before granting you spells. "Quest: Brian's Journey" wants the player to be more balanced with their element spread, requiring certain levels in each element to grant the player a spell. For example, the first healing spell used to be granted at a Water level of 6. Now, it requires a split between two or three levels between Water and Earth. Not exactly the worst trick, considering how a skilled "Quest" aficionado is already dumping stats into those elements first, but it's good to know about.

Honestly, all of the elements are balanced much better in this game. Like, I watched a Wind Cutter 3 easily dump 200+ damage into a boss, killing it off in two turns. Absolute improvement!

In terms of enemy design and placement, it's mostly as previously experienced. Like, there are some augments, like how fast Merrows can be. But, again, if you know the first game, you've got this one. The only real bastard here is King Beigus, who can easily drop 150-180 HP if he wants. Otherwise, it's very manageable. Possibly, abusable, if you know how to play around spell area limitations!

Something's not quite right with the top-down perspective. Like, I appreciate a column-based spell hitting as high as it does, but it wouldn't look right in 3D. Imagine a geyser of water shooting 6 feet to the right instead of 6 feet vertically, and you'll get what I mean.

The translation for this game is off as well. Some enemy names and spells are mistranslated (most notable "Vanpire's Touch," which was correctly translated as "Vampire's Touch" previously.) I suppose having different companies publishing this series will have details like that slip through the cracks. THQ, Konami, Sunsoft—what a weird mix! Any port in a storm, huh, Imagineer?

I'm honestly surprised that this series' developing company is still around, as of 2023. "Medabot" money is strong, I guess!

Aesthetically, the game looks and sounds like what a competent Nintendo 64 to GameBoy Color port would be. Even acknowledging the limitations there, I do think it is a little visually disappointing. A lot of the spritework is small, so some character and monster details are lost to the compression. It's also limited palette-wise, leaving the previously vibrant environment and characters mostly some shade of cream or brown. I've got no complaints for the musical composition, though. Like, yeah, there's still a natural limit being hit. But, it went from a mid-tier midi arrangement to a competent square-wave arrangement with every tune still being recognizable, so I can't bitch about that! Very pleasant.

If you found "Quest 64" to be an enjoyable experience, "Quest: Brian's Journey" is a natural and easy recommendation to make. Granted, that's like saying, "If you enjoy making taxidermy arrangements using the corpses of squirrels, you'll find doing the same with mice to be equally enjoyable!" At least, to some people. I suspect there is an overlap between players who liked this game and would like the NES games "The Magic of Scheherazade" or "Faria: A World of Mystery and Danger," but again, I may be speaking in tongues.

Do you want an old fantasy game with an easy and quirky battle system that lasts about 10 hours? If so, here you go! Enjoy getting into mouse taxidermy.

I mean, there are worse ways to develop your skills.

[wiiildflowerrr]

A cheap and cheeky marketing ploy: get the paps to do the work for you! (But where was Michael?)

9th August 2019

[thundergrace]

So I'm part of that 'lost generation/years' (96-98) (aka older gen z, zillenial, idk), and it's interesting watching the younger Gen Z use the term queerbaiting incorrectly. The word definitely lost its correct meaning, and I've seen a lot of older people of the generation try to correct the younger side about it. Sadly, the message doesn't get across.

Idk who Kit is nor much on the situation (or leading up to it), but it's terrible that he was forced to come out.

Yeah I think it bugs older queer people because of just having lived through that era .... it's like stop trying to be even more oppressed than you already are. Trust me, you don't want to have that feeling of having ALMOST ZERO (like actually) queer representation in television and the only bit you do have is not for you at all, it's not real and it's being used as a cheap marketing ploy or a ratings boost.

Like you don't need to use that word for your disappointment. Words mean things, choose the right one.

But anyway they're saying a real ass dude was queerbaiting in real life so there's no hope lol

[gracetheacefromouterspace]

Almost fell for screenshotting an ad that had a mediocrely funny cuck joke in it, but then realized it was a cheap marketing ploy to get free marketing through reposting. You lose today capitalism!

[declinlalune]

It's Been Oolong Time || Andy & Meera

TIMING: current. PARTIES: @the-haunteang & @declinlalune SUMMARY: andy visits meera's teashop! CONTENT WARNINGS: none.

The Best Exotic Herbal Tea Shop was more commonly known as Sharma Tea, mostly because the family that has operated the long-time business was the Sharmas. Meera was its current owner, having taken over after her mother passed away, who herself had taken over when her own mother, Meera’s grandmum, passed away years ago. Strangely, neither of those woman came back to haunt the medium, despite every other dead relative doing so randomly. Meera often thought about that, and as a new customer walked in, she was thinking about it again.

“Welcome to Best Exotic!” Meera instinctively greeted the other woman, jolting to her senses as soon as the door swung open. Right next to it, she could see the same relative from decades ago standing there, just staring at the medium. This gaunt ghost, Meera did not know, only that it must be a grand-uncle that she has never met. It has not spoken to her, and it usually just stood there at the doorway, watching…things. “How may I help you today?”

Andy knew that Sharma Tea was probably her best bet for getting quality tea that wouldn’t curse her or something. She had had their oolong before, and it was something she always came back to, even though she felt the need to venture out for the sake of putting something in the cabinet that Kaden wouldn’t scoff at. Even if the tea became pricey, Andy felt as though she could foot the bill, because really, she drank tea all the time. 

Entirely oblivious to those who may be around her aside from Meera, Andy smiled at the woman as she was welcomed in. “Hey! We spoke online, I think, forever ago– I’m here for the Taiwanese oolong you had mentioned?” She should have written the name down so that she could remember, but did it really matter? Meera was an expert in teas, and realistically, she could probably throw an essence of the kind of tea she wanted and the other woman would be able to pin it down with ease. “If you don’t have any more of it, I’m definitely okay with trying something different…?” 

Meera tilted her head to one side. Spoke online? Meera had spoken to many people online, and maybe that was the point, but she did find delight in having her marketing ploy succeed. Well, it was less of an actual marketing ploy than just her begging people to come and buy things at the shop, even though they weren’t entirely struggling. 

The shop was doing fine. People were buying tea at a pretty decent rate. They had no problems on the financial side of things. Perception-wise, however, Meera had always had a nagging feeling she could do better, she should do better, and maybe that’s just because of the ghosts of her relatives that would not let her stay at peace. “Oh, hello! I’m Meera,” she extended her hand for a quick shake before scrambling toward the mentioned tea. The browsing was less quicker but when she finally found it, she exclaimed excitedly. “Here it is!”

“Oh, well,” Meera found herself deep in thought. What else could she offer this pretty woman? Tea-wise, of course. Something different? Why not her? Err, from her culture? “Have you tried Assam or Darjeeling?” She asked with a wide grin.

As Meera extended her hand, Andy smiled. She shook the woman’s hand before letting her gaze wander over the glass and steel containers that were in just about every corner of the shop. Once she had had her fill, she turned her gaze back to Meera. “I’m Andy.” The introduction didn’t take very long, because Meera was veering off in the opposite direction towards a shelf which had an assortment of different teas. 

With her tea found, Andy was fully prepared to take out her wallet and buy as much as she could afford. She was sure it wasn’t cheap, but for quality tea, it was worth it. At Meera’s question of whether or not she’d ever had Assam or Darjeeling, Andy thought for a moment before nodding. “I’ve had Assam, but not Darjeeling… is it a black tea, too?” She didn’t really know a ton about tea or coffee, but she liked it enough to drink it, and that was good enough for her. If Meera were to suggest something else she might like, Andy would take it gladly. 

“Yes, it is,” Meera began to explain with a wide smile on her face. If there was one thing that made her glad she was alive, unlike her annoying relative that was eavesdropping on the conversation between two living people, it was the fact that she was at least very well-versed in the field of tea. “Well, Darjeeling can actually come in other varieties but the black tea version is very exquisite! It’s also extremely rich in antioxidants and has a beautiful full-bodied flavor!”

Meera handed the box of Darjeeling tea to Andy, keeping the Assam with herself just in case she wanted to go with what she already knew. Most people enjoyed trying out new stuff, but when it came to tea, as with anything food-related, a lot actually preferred to still go with the ones they’ve already had. If she was lucky, she’d take something new with them, too, but even then, not a lot of her customers ventured toward the strange and unknown. At least not on the first visit. “Is it a bit pricey but I can brew you a cup if you’d like a taste first? It’s on the house!”

It shouldn’t be, as Meera’s unintentional glimpse of the gaunt ghost at the door revealed, but she didn’t really have a lot of opportunities to defy her dead relatives, so this was as good as it gets.

When Andy thought of tea, she only ever thought about whether or not it tasted good, or if it’d make her caffeine intake shoot through the roof. For the most part, she never thought about whether or not it could be good for her. But as Meera explained antioxidants– whatever those were, Andy found herself listening intently. Sure, she could use some of those. They sounded good for you, and Andy could always use a healthier alternative to the peach rings she ate nearly every other day. 

Andy took the box of Darjeeling with a grateful smile, turning it over in her hand, taking note of the benefits that were labeled on the back. She read over them before looking up at Meera as she offered to brew a cup on the house. “Really? You don’t need to do that.” She always felt guilty getting free things, which was rich, considering all the theft she and Alex had committed. Even now, she still found herself stealing from the people who wouldn’t miss what she took. 

“I can grab a few ounces to try, if you weigh by that?” Most tea shops did, but Andy knew that for certain teas, they’d only sell by an already pre-packaged amount for the sake of not losing stock or money. “If not, it’s alright– um, how expensive are we talking?” Her wallet had felt light in the past few days, but it wasn’t an issue, especially because tea usually lasted her a long while. 

“You know what?” Meera’s lips curled into a bright smile, her eyes joining in the fun. She was impressed and appreciative with this customer, Andy, mostly at her declining her offer of a free taste. Normally, most customers, especially new ones, would jump at the offer, as it was a pretty risk-free way of trying new flavors, new tea. It wasn’t that great of a loss to the shop, too, as they could use the same pre-packaged box for the source of all succeeding free tastes. “Why don’t I give you a discount? Since it’s your first time trying Darjeeling.”

Meera grabbed another box of Darjeeling tea and handed it to Andy. “This is 2nd flush, bolder in flavor than what you have in your hand, which is 1st flush,” she explained with a smile, eager to impart what she knew of her trade, which was pretty much a lot. “The 2nd flush has a subtle fruity and musky complexity, which makes it perfect for an afternoon cup, while the 1st flush is more delicate, more exquisite, with subtle floral undertones. Darjeeling 1st flush is considered as the champagne of the black teas. You can have the 1st flush for $15 per 6 ounces, it’s normally $19 per 6 ounces, and the 2nd flush for $10 per 6 ounces, which is normally $14.”

“Wait, are you sure?” Andy had come across plenty of kind people in Wicked’s Rest, but this was something else. Then again, in order to make a sale, even Andy sometimes became a little too kind, especially when she noticed somebody eyeing the last chocolate croissant that she definitely wanted to get rid of. “That is really kind of you.” She smiled at Meera, knowing well enough that the next time she came in, she would need to drop some cash in order to compensate for the kindness that the woman had extended. 

Meera’s explanation about the tea having something called flush was new to Andy. She wasn’t familiar with the term, but did it matter? Clearly Meera was well versed in tea. She ran a shop for them, after all. Andy took the second box and looked it over, nodding along with Meera’s explanation. “The champagne of black tea?” Andy raised a brow as she turned the box over in her hand again, then glanced back to the first box that’d been handed over to her. “That’s a big discount, especially for the champagne of tree.” She bit down onto the inside of her cheek, knowing well enough that she’d sit both Alex and Kaden down for a tea tasting afternoon. “Can I actually get both at 6 ounces? I’ll pay full price for this one–” she held up the 2nd flush, “just so you aren’t losing too much on it?” She gave Meera a hopeful smile, wanting her to recognize that it was alright to charge full price, especially when it came to good quality teas. 

“Oh, yeah, don’t worry about it,” Meera shook her head, her smile never waning. For her supposed kindness to be acknowledged, it felt surreal and at the same time heartwarming to the tea shop owner. Her staff were her only source of positive reinforcement ever since her mother and grandmother passed away. She didn’t have that many friends, either. “The champagne of black teas.”

Meera may have been a little biased toward the tea, though, as it was her grandmother’s favorite, which was why it became hers. But that bit about it being referred to as the champagne of black teas? She had heard it from other people as well, mostly other tea aficionados, both working for the shop and those that were distant colleagues. “Oh, well, if that’s what you’d like to do,” she was a little disappointed that the customer didn’t take the full discount but tried her best not to show it. Andy was entitled to her own decisions, so she rang her up and catered to her desire. “You know, tea’s pretty good with friends, so if you have them with others, may I suggest pairing it with carrot cake or some light creamy cheese like goat’s cheese? It also pairs well with delicate pastries and smoked salmon.”

Meera repeated what Andy found hard to be true. She still couldn’t wrap her head around how tea could be that good. Maybe it was because she only ever used her tomato tea stopper and nothing else. More times than not, she forgot to remove the tea bag altogether and drank the cup, even after it became bitter due to the over-saturation of flavor.

Andy stood just beside the register as Meera began to ring her up. Her eyes continued to wander over the different canisters that were both behind the register as well as on the walls in the back room that Andy could only see because the door was slightly ajar. Meera’s words brought Andy back into focus and she blinked at her comment. “I have friends.” She had a few, maybe. Did her friends like tea? Lil liked coffee. Jonas, too. Maybe they liked tea. Maybe Nicole did. Was Kaden her friend? No, he was her cousin. Alex was definitely her friend. Had pit guy been a friend? Maybe Arden, too. Her mind raced and she cleared her throat as she realized that Meera had meant tea friends. “Oh. Um, yeah– I like carrot cake..” Tea going well with cheese? Who would have thought. Kaden would definitely like the tea, then. “I didn’t know that tea was so versatile… huh.” The thought of tea going good with something like smoked salmon was unimaginable to Andy, but Meera was the one with the knowledge, so she simply nodded as the clerk counted off the endless possibilities. “I feel like I can stump people now… tell them tea goes good with salmon.” 

Meera instinctively moved her head slightly when Andy commented that she had friends. She expected her to have some. Doesn’t everyone? Then she remembered that nope, not everyone. Case in point: Meera herself, who hasn’t made any new friends that weren’t working for the tea shop or an old customer or even just related to an old customer. It dawned on her how everything, her entire life, including her relationships, revolved around the tea shop now, and it made her a little sad. But what could she do? She’d rather be alone and lonely than to risk new people getting haunted by her annoying family members. 

“Oh, different teas can go well with different food, and carrot cake is a favorite of mine,” Meera chuckled to herself, remembering her own introduction to the versatility of tea. The versatilitea. With her father from a culture that venerates tea, it wasn’t a difficult foray into the world. From Indian teas to East Asian teas that went well with dumplings, Meera didn’t wait that long to branch out to other cultural pairings. Teas and pastries generally worked well together. Teas and cheeses? Some did and some didn’t. Teas and fish or any meat in particular? That was an eye opener for her, too. “I’d be happy to tell you more, so feel free to come back whenever you need a new batch or want to experiment with new ones.”

Andy nodded as if she knew it all along. It made sense. It was like wine, right? Wine went with certain things. She never cared that reds didn’t go with fish, but some people did. Maybe some people really cared about tea and how it could go with smoked salmon. She knew that some teas could even be considered savory, but it was weird to think about. 

Regardless of the pairings and what they meant to people, Andy was excited to finally get her hands on an oolong she hadn’t tried. The darjeeling seemed interesting too, and even if she and Alex hadn’t ever had the chance to diversify their pallets, Andy didn’t consider herself to be a picky eater, or drinker in this case. “Really? I appreciate that.” Andy smiled at Meera, weighing the two different teas in either of her hands. “Oh, there are even steeping directions.” That was good. It was important, in this case of the more-expensive tea. 

“Really,” Meera beamed as she finished placing the Andy’s purchase inside a brown paper bag, which was more helpful to the environment than most other kinds of bags. She chuckled to herself, finding Andy’s curiosity toward the tea quite refreshing. It wasn’t new to her, of course, as she’s had other customers come in, looking for new stuff to satiate their expanding preferences, but truth be told, it has been a while. Most of her customers have been old ones, the same faces her late mother and perhaps even her grandmother used to rang up. “Those should be fine to follow, but it’ll still depend on your preference, of course.”

She then took a piece of paper from the pad close to the register and began writing the shop’s number on it. Once she was done, Meera handed it to Andy. Just in case. “Here,” she unintentionally winked at her customer, failing to realize what she had done. Maybe later, when she looked back at this interaction, reviewed the entire scene after it has already ended, she’d regret that. Or at least cringe at her own strangeness, her awkwardness when it came to social interactions with new people. “The shop’s number. Should you ever need to make a quick call.”

The back of Andy’s neck warmed at Meera’s wink. She hoped her cheeks didn’t also reflect the embarrassment she felt. Or was it even embarrassment? Maybe shyness. Andy watched as Meera wrote down the phone number to the shop. She put the tea tins into her bag before taking the scrap of paper. She folded it up carefully and put it into the small pocket of her tote with a smile. “I appreciate your help, and I’m excited to try the darjeeling.” Maybe Meera had opened up an entirely new world for Andy when it came to tea, maybe she could introduce it to Lil and get her to stop consuming too much caffeine in the form of energy drinks. 

“I’ll definitely let you know how I like it.” She’d want to leave a review, too. Meera deserved it, and the shop deserved more recognition. Andy gave Meera a wave before heading towards the door. “Have a good one, I’ll catch you later.” 

[keto-healthy-diet]

Keto Snacks to Buy | Low Carb Snacks to Buy | Low-carb Diet

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* Leaning

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[nice-bright-colors]

A dark roast for a bright day. Wrong.

My Sunny disposition tells me this was just a cheap marketing ploy.

Between coffee, booze and exercise, the scales of my life are out of balance. I need to get back to a happy medium of all three. Somehow.

Starting with more coffee, right now.

[self-harmony]

!! STRANGER THINGS S2V4 SPOILERS !!

I’m sure we all have a lot of thoughts on the season 4 finale, so I’d like to air mine out here.

Recognizing that I’m petty (and embracing it), Eddie’s death almost ruined it for me. We all had to see it coming right? “Even if he escaped the town would still be hunting him”. We all knew the high risk for Eddie going in to V2. But even so, him dying diminished the depth of the finale for me. For one thing, it was predictable. A loveable fresh new character is not something that lasts on this show and they followed that formula to a tee. For another thing, so many people resonated with Eddie right from the get-go. I understand you can’t predict the level of comfort one character will actually provide until after the seasons already been written and aired, but they still had to have some idea. They created this metal head with a hard exterior, who was really just this funky little dude and who broke stereotypes of being evil (at least for the audience, not so much the people of Hawkins), and instead of delving into the persona of Eddie Munson, they decided to kill him off too early. The potential they could’ve had with him as an ally in season 5 is wasted. And honestly, for what? I know emotional events make for a good story, but it truly felt like it served no purpose. To finally stop running and be the hero? He could’ve *tried* to sacrifice himself and then ended up living some how and helped take down Vecna to become an even bigger hero. No one in Hawkins thinks he’s a hero after the “earthquake” anyway. He died in the Upside Down and no one besides Dustin and his uncle even blinked an eye. His death doesn’t drive the plot forward at all, it only was there so the finale could have something shocking and heart breaking. I also am a little bit mad that the official Stranger Things accounts were posting a LOT of pro-Eddie content, and Joseph Quinn interviews during the break. It just feels cheap after the fact, almost like they were trying to force Eddie on us so we’d be even more attached when he was killed off. Yes, I know it’s a marketing ploy. And yes, I know I’m taking this too seriously and it’s just a show. But in my opinion it could have been a lot better. You can disagree if you want, I know not everyone thinks alike, but don’t bother being rude bc it’ll just get deleted. And of course if you agree with me or have anything else to add to my essay, let’s discuss bc I for one am not ready to stop talking about Eddie Munson anytime soon