#cheeseanon

[pineappleparfaitie]

Favorite flavor of Chips?

(🧀 anon)

I dont like chips- They are too oily for me- I used to like pringles but boycotts so yeah Interspar has a knock off version as well as SnackDay and i like the plain salted flavour the best- I also LOVE Tortila corn chips , plain salted ones, very nice :D

[blubushie]

ignore that weirdass ask psychoanalysis shit wtf. tell me about your rifle because i used to go fuckin batshit insane over weapon stuff when i was like 13 and have mediocre aim with an air rifle because i went bonkers each time there was that stupid shooting attraction somewhere

- the violent 🧀 anon

Damn cheeseanon, getting excited over guns?

You're in luck because my rifle is one of my favourite subjects to talk about.

1948 Winchester Model 70 chambered in .30-06.

5+1 capacity.

Right-hand bolt despite the fact I'm left-handed. One of these days I'm going to get her a custom alteration so that I can fire her left-handed because reaching over the stock to cycle the bolt with my left hand after every shot is such a pain in the arse. Still love her though.

10cm eye relief. Zeroed practically out of the box. Her scope is a German Hensoldt Wetzlar Dialytan my grandfather scored off a German DM in WW2 (yes this shit's been running in my family for 3 generations).

Have you ever seen a Model 70? They're beautiful.

Beautiful Claro walnut from California. A touch of the place I was born wherever I go. When she's washed she shines just like that picture.

Kicks like a mule and I love her for it. At the end of the day my breast is sore. I have a permanent subcutaneous callous on my pectoralis major muscle that you can't see but you can definitely feel under the skin when you touch it. The muscle there is hardened. When I first started using her professionally, at the end of my first month out in the bush I was so purple I looked like I was hit by a truck. I love her.

Yes, I call her her. My rifle is my steadfast companion in the bush. She goes everywhere with me, even when I don't bring Misty. She's my confidant and my first line of defence. She just feels female to me, the same way Matilda does. I can't explain it. Weirdly most of my knives including my KA-BAR plus my revolver feel male.

She doesn't have a name because only pretentious cunts name weapons. She's just "my rifle." Never the rifle. Always my rifle. Pretentious cunts name weapons but I am a pretentious cunt, her name is Winnie.

She weighs 5.68kg with her scope and 4.35kg without it. Her bolt weighs 435g. She's 114cm from muzzle to butt.

It costs $400,000 to fire this weapon for twelve seconds. Really, though, 20 rounds costs me somewhere in the ballpark of $75. In a month I'll expend about $150 just on ammunition. I usually buy Hornady Superformance. At long-distance I use 168-grain rounds as they're heavy enough to maintain their stopping power at long distances without having too much drop from excessive weight and are extremely accurate, at short-distance I use 165gr and mark the cartridge with marker so I know which are which. Only the best for my little princess, so I take apart the rounds I buy with a kinetic puller and then I weigh out the gunpowder and reload the cartridge by hand. Handloading gives me more accurate rounds and I'll never go back to using factory ammunition.

My rifle is cleaned every night and I can't sleep unless I've cleaned her. It's my way of putting her to bed. Every Sunday after dinner I set her up on my cleaning stand at the table and give her an extensive cleaning, clean her scope, and give her stock a good wiping with soap and water. Afterwards I give her a quick coat of furniture polish. She comes out looking brand new. Not bad for a 71-year-old!

Practice, practice, practice. I don't care if it's shooting tinnies out in the bush (I always pick up my rubbish), I'm always practicing to stay at the top of my game. If you're driving through the Northern Territory near Jabiru on the way to Kakadu, take the first turn on the left until you reach a back road that forks. Make a right. When you see bullet holes in a roadsign there's a 50/50 chance I'm the source of it. The other side of that 50% coin is my mate Jack. Sorry, DIPL, but that road's flooded for nine months out of the year and no one drives it the other three months.

By Australian law I have to have a secure location to store her. I don't have that in Matilda, so instead she's kept in a discreet case with a pair of combination locks. Because of this case when I'm travelling with my rifle people often mistake me for a musician. The most common assumption is clarinet, bassoon, (rarely) trombone, and the saxophone.

She's the rifle I once used to kill two kangaroos with one bullet.

I love her.

[vadergf]

cheese anon would like to release a statement saying that I have never messaged you and that there appear to be more cheese anons than I had thought. I would like to start a club. if anyone would like to join, message me.

I am literally going to cry! How many of you are out there?! I know like, one! And thats @dash-cheese-anon aka my best friend. 

[veenxys]

hiii linnie !! im asking this so your cheese nonnie will see it ,, hopefully ,, CHEESE NONNIE ,, THE FACT U MENTIONED KIM DRAC WITH THOSE TOMURA HC'S ILY ,, LEMME GIVE U A BIG HUG

@cheeseanon come here and receive your hug!!!!!

[askteacupfollie]

CheeseAnon: And that isn't all! If you say a specifc type of cheese, that cheese will be what hits mugman! For example...gouda cheese.

Mugman- *even longer sigh*cheese 3/5(mod- I had to google what gouda cheese was)

[thisbethedoortolight]

I’ll blow utensil anon away. I’m silent but deadly 💨

you really should eat some more fiber, all that farting is not gouda for you.

[blubushie]

hihi! ah heck :( no bushwalking

we are both stuck in the cold then! fellow sufferers

talking to myself for a while i earned a few more questions! a few random ones and a few related to stuff about you specifically

specific: what sort of tracks/random stuff on the ground/etc is a REALLY BAD sign? what animals are the easiest to deal with and which are the hardest? do you have good aim?

random: is it quality over quantity or the opposite for you? if speed is added into the mix, which variable would you be willing to sacrifice? what is your second favorite color?

thank you yet again there is so much i want to find out!!!!!

- most curiously, 🧀 anon

Oh, you've just dug yourself a hole, cheeseanon!

What sort of tracks/random stuff on the ground/etc is a REALLY BAD sign?

Generally dingo tracks.

Also snake tracks.

While roughly 75% of Australian snakes are venomous, only 12 are venomous enough to actually have a risk of killing you. That said, I also have Misty! Some snakes have venom that designed to target animals and while my body weight can save me, fair chance it won't save her. Snake tracks (especially fresh ones, undisturbed by wind) means a snake is nearby but you won't know what you're dealing with until you see it, or where it's hiding.

What animals are the easiest to deal with? What are the hardest?

Rabbits and cane toads are defo the easiest. Dingos are the hardest because (while they're usually skittish) they can be very bold when they want something, and unlike pigs they sometimes work in packs. Near the coasts where food is more plentiful they aren't usually an issue since they'll decide "scary two-legged animal with loud stick" isn't worth the effort, but in the Outback where food is much more scarce they're more likely to decide that a bullet or two is worth a full stomach.

Do you have good aim?

I--really, mate? Really? I'm appalled you'd ask this. Insulted, even. I'm a sniper, of course I got good bloody aim. I've won state competitions. I've killed a pig at 1200yd. Do you know how bloody difficult it is to get a headshot on a pig at 1200yd? I'm routinely hitting targets at 1500yd and upward. I killed two roos with one bullet by shooting the first one through the eye at 800yd. (Nevermind the fact I probably couldn't do it again if I tried.)

"dO yOu HaVe GoOd AiM?"

Appalled, mate. Appalled.

Random question time! :]

Do you prefer quality over quantity?

Quality! I'd much rather have 5+1 of rounds that fire true than twice that amount what don't hit jack shit.

If speed is added into the mix, which variable would you be willing to sacrifice?

Soz mate, no clue what this one means. Probably sacrifice the speed since it isn't necessary to the equation if you had the option of adding it

What is your second-favourite colour?

Red! My favourite is blue. Third favourite is green, then fourth is orange.

Keep 'em coming, cheeseanon! :]

[blubushie]

i have come for your soul yet again! curiosity has spiked and i get giddy each time my asks get answered so here's a question for you: what's your favorite constellation and why? maybe a top-3 of sorts? thank you

- the stargazing 🧀 anon

Oh I'm so glad you asked this, cheeseanon!

South Cross (Crux) is my favourite on account of it not just being the symbolic constellation of Australia (it's on our flag!) but also because I use it to navigate. It's basically my version of Polaris. You wait until it reaches its zenith (its highest point in the sky) and then you take the distance from the head of the cross to the foot of the cross (this is called a length). Go four lengths from the head to foot across the sky, and directly down from that is south.

Second-favourite constellation is Canis Major, the dog. I personally call it the dingo. It contains the brightest star in the night sky, Sirius.

My all-time favourite constellation technically isn't a constellation at all by western standards. It's the only constellation I know of that's outlined by the space around it and not the stars. It's Dhinawan, the Emu in the Sky, or what people in the west would call the Milky Way.

Dhinawan's position in the night sky helped the Aboriginals track the seasons in the Outback (where the seasons often blend together with only minute differences) and helped them determine how they hunted the emus, a main source of meat for them. When Dhinawan is standing on the horizon like in the picture above and looking like it's running, it means the emus are migrating and have to be hunted on foot. When Dhinawan is laying flat against the horizon so it looks like it's lying down, that's the breeding season and means that the we don't have to pursue emus on foot, but rather can sneak up on sleeping ones to hunt them and their eggs.

[blubushie]

i return, to tell you about the consumable non-food items!

there are shrooms in rain world. that's right! they're not even that uncommon! slugcats can get high off of shrooms for a little while, which makes time slow down and makes the time for tight inputs more forgiving!

then there's karma flowers! allegedly, they're hallucinogenic, but slugcats don't really experience hallucinations with them. they are good for protecting your karma level - something that you need to pass through gates and move the story!

what should i tell about next?

- the sluggy 🧀 anon

YOU CAN GET HIGH ON SHROOMS IN THIS GAME? I have to play it now, cheeseanon.

[blubushie]

good morning blu!! did you sleep well today as well?

- the evening 🧀 anon

G'day cheeseanon!

Last night was a little rougher because Misty kept insisting on laying ON me instead of down by my feet so I could hardly breathe lmao

[blubushie]

about the crab post!!! what's your favorite kind of crab? 🦀

- the crabby 🧀 anon

G'day cheeseanon!

My favourite crab (that's not really a crab) is the horseshoe crab. These guys are so bloody cool! They first evolved 440 million years ago, which makes them older than trees! I just wish we had them in Australia. They also don't have haemoglobin (iron-based) in their blood but instead use haemocyanin (copper-based), which gives their blood a blue colour! Because of this, unlike most invertebrates, horseshoe crabs aren't highly sensitive to copper in their environment and aren't likely to get copper poisoning. Their blood is also in high demand because of the amoebocytes in it, which are used in medicine for detecting bacterial endotoxins through the LAL test. To do this horseshoe crabs are either bred in captivity, or wild ones are caught, have up to 30% of their blood extracted, and then returned to the ocean to breed.

If you meant actual brachyuran crabs, my answer would be the Lybia genus of pom-pom crabs! They exhibit mutualism (mutually-beneficial relationships) with sea anemones. Pom-pom crabs will take small, young sea anemones (and rarely sponges and corals) and then attach them to their claws for self-defence. The anemones get carried around on their claws which helps them because they're filter-feeders, so the crab moving sediment around increases the anemone's chances of catching food. The pom-pom crab is helped by the anemone's stinging tentacles which protect is from predators. The only downside is that these crabs can't use their pinching claws to feed itself, so instead it uses its stubby little legs at the front to collect food particles off the anemones.

[blubushie]

suddenly curious. was looking through your post and stumbled on the one where you spoke about food you eat out in the bush. and there were grubs and like, that's insect stuff right? tell me all about edible insects !!!!

- 🧀 anon

Hello again cheeseanon!

So you can eat a lot of different bugs out in the bush. I've personally eaten roasted tarantulas, roasted scorpions, roasted and raw witchetty grubs, raw honeypot ants, raw green tree ants at the behest of a mate, and roasted bogong moths.

Australia provides for her people if you know where to look!

[blubushie]

how dare i ask about your aim 😭 lmao i havent read enough of the blog yet so i missed most of those accomplishments but it's very epic

- most apologetically, 🧀 anon

just kidding i DO have more questions!!! questions that i am going to recheck like 17 times each now

what kind of injury do you get most frequently? because i assume it...happens often LMAO

how to improve one's aim? since yours is very epic /gen

thank you

- the now 10x more careful 🧀 anon

That's right, cheeseanon! Check yourself before you come after me and my aim!

What kind of injury do you get most frequently?

Generally? Slamming my fucking thumb in the cabin door. That bruise on my left hand? It's not Garand thumb. It's just me being stupid and trying to catch the cabin door in a strong wind and getting it slammed. Most common injury while working? Falling off high places. Back in January I was pissing blood for a week after taking a fall (my poor kidney). I am a bloody unco and I fall off things a lot. I'm worse when I'm drunk (hard to believe, I know).

How do I improve my aim?

Practise, practise, practise. Always be practising. I don't care if it's just chucking rocks, always be practising!

[blubushie]

i have come yet again! it's april and we're having a bit of a uh. snowstorm. tell us about the weather you're havint rn 👍

- the frozen solid 🧀 anon

Good morning cheeseanon!

We've been having some spring rain here the past few days. It sucks because I can't go bushwalking. At least back home the weather's usually nice (warm) even when it rains so I can just suck it up and tuck my hems into my boots and go anyway, but here it's fucking cold so I'm stuck indoors (plus the rain is torrential).

[blubushie]

oh your shape color choices are killing me... i have it the other way around completely!! red circle blue square and YELLOW triangle and a hexagon is orange for some reason

the rest is pretty different too but i do agree with you on the legacy (pretty word) and orbs

thank you for your time can you grace us with a picture of misty :] thank you

- the dog-loving yet dog-fearing 🧀 anon

Wanna hear something really groovy, cheeseanon? When I take a high dose of shrooms, during the zenith if I'm listening to music, heavy bass looks blue and tastes salty.

As requested, here's Misty!

[blubushie]

"A PICNIC TABLE?" DUDE please like just look at it and blur your eyes a bit maybe you'll see or maybe youre too used to what is ACTUALLY in the picture 😭 i really went and sentenced myself to public blast for that

retaliation! before i go to sleep I will bombard you with all random questions that come to me in this ask

what's your preferred time of day and why? most reliable water sources? how do you usually deal with most common threats you encounter in the bush? which kind of snake would you call the least dangerous? if you could forever abolish one animal from existence, which would it be, if any? best fish? worst fish?

thank you (for reading, answering, remaining fascinated and being my curious ass' main source of giddy leg wiggle during the day)

- most annoyingly, 🧀 anon <3 💥💥💥

Thank you for asking, cheeseanon!!! I really enjoy these. I normally live out in the bush and even in California I live in a rural area so I don't have many neighbours (and those that do know me as that Weird Aussie Bloke that disappeared for 3 years).

What's your preferred time of day and why?

Night! Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light; I have loved the stars too truly to be fearful of the night. I absolutely love the stars. My second-favourite time of day is dawn when the kookaburras wake up.

Most reliable water sources?

There's no reliable water sources in the Outback. I collect my water from rain tarps (which I can drink straight) and clear streambeds (which I have to boil before drinking). I have one canteen specifically for collecting water and another for carrying purified water when I'm travelling. Sometimes soakage from native wells is the only way of obtaining water but I've only had to do this a few times.

How do you usually deal with common threats out in the bush?

Staying in Matilda/under shelter during the hottest parts of the day, since the environment itself is the greatest threat in the Outback. As far as living threats go, it usually involves screaming. I've run my voice hoarse through shouting at dingos because they very much hate noise and are generally skittish around people. When necessary I might fire a warning shot into the dirt to make them keep their distance and this usually works. I've only ever had one actually bite me, and that was a lone female with pups (judging by the condition of her teats) who wanted my food. We tussled on the ground for a bit with her teeth locked around my ankle (thank Christ for my leather boots), I cut her foreleg with my knife, and she scurried off. She came back an hour later and decided I was still worth the risk of being killed over, so I took a potshot between her legs to make her keep her distance and chucked her the back half of a rabbit which she scurried off with. Normally I wouldn't recommend feeding the wildlife since it can make them dependent on people which puts people and the animal in danger, but we were in an area with very few humans so it's unlikely she'd ever encounter one again. To her I was a big prey animal and worth the risk to feed her pups. Mutual respect between us and she learned her lesson I reckon.

On the downside, I needed a new pair of jeans because her teeth ripped right through the hem.

What kind of snake would you consider the least dangerous?

The dead kind. That's a joke. Please don't kill snakes, they're really neat and are much more afraid of you than you are of them. Additionally you're much more likely to get bit trying to kill or move a snake than you are just letting him go on his way. I'd reckon that any small nonvenomous snake isn't dangerous. Typically anything in Colubridae is safe. Small, non-dangerous species include:

Green tree snake, Dendrelaphis punctulatus

Common keelback, Tropidonophis mairii

Green tree python, Morelia viridis (they're arseholes though)

Brahminy blind snake, Indotyphlops braminus (invasive)

Woma python, Aspidites ramsayi

Northern green tree snake, Dendrelaphis calligaster

Elephant trunk snake, Acrochordus arafurae (these guys are really neat!)

Pygmy python, Antaresia perthensis

Crab-eating snake, Fordonia leucobalia

Marine file snake, Acrochordus granulatus (really neat)

Bockadam, Cerberus australis

Rough-scaled python, Morelia carinata

Papuan spotted python, Antaresia papuensis

Every blind snake in the genus Anilios

Australia has ~140 species of land snakes and ~30 species of sea snakes. Basically all our sea snakes are highly venomous and can kill you. Of our land snakes, ~100 are venomous. That means roughly 75% of Australian snakes are venomous. That said, the majority of these have venom so insignificant that it can't harm people. Most people won't even realise they've been bitten. So why didn't I count the "harmless" venomous species? People can have allergies! What might bite me and not have any effect could bite you and give you a fatal arrhythmia if you're allergic to the venom. Assume all snakes are dangerous and give them all a wide berth unless you can 100% confirm that they won't harm you. EVERY SNAKE IS THE FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT VARIETY.

If you could abolish any animal from existence, what would it be?

Mozzies. I fucking hate mozzies with a burning passion. They gave my dad malaria twice and nearly killed him the second time. Additionally I'm type O (universal donor) which, just so happens, mozzies fucking love. I get SWARMED. I'm constantly covering myself, my clothes, and Misty in permethrin just to keep ticks off us (and this comes from somebody who fucking hates synthetic chemicals). I don't need to deal with mozzies too.

From an ecological standpoint, FUCKING CARP. I HATE CARP SO GODDAMN MUCH. YOU THINK CANE TOADS ARE BAD? NO! WELL THEY ARE, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUCKING WORSE? CARP. THEY HAVE RUINED THE MURRAY-DARLING BASIN AND ITS WATERWAYS. WE HAVE LOST 90% OF OUR NATIVE SPECIES' TERRITORY TO INVASIVE FUCKING CARP. IMAGINE THAT. THE SANCTITY OF AUSTRALIA, OUR AMAZING MURRAY COD, LOST TO FUCKING GOLDFISH. I HATE CARP WITH A BURNING FUCKING PASSION OH MY GOD DON'T EVEN GET ME FUCKING STARTED--

Best fish?

Barramundi. I fucking love barra. They're delicious, they're incredibly fun to catch, they're absolutely massive so I guarantee you'll not go hungry. I love barra.

Worst fish?

FUCKING CARP.