#blu chew

[blubushie]

In my mother era (making a cheesecake)

[blubushie]

Have eaten cats and will eat more

[tostada-turtle]

LIL POOTIS WAS SO GOOOOOOOD

I always love seeing people's different interpretations of the red vs blu mercs and Quazies' were so delightful!!!

Some mercs (and pauling) from the episode because I love tf2 and I love Quazies style :)

[jakemyboy]

Christmas in July! 🎄😆

I happened to stumble upon a toy for Blu that we didn't give him for Christmas because I overbought ( can't help it, work in a store that sells dog toys cheap). Plus, his Aunt works in the store too, so he gets too much stuff for Christmas. It was already wrapped in the Elves special red tissue ( rumor has it Walmart is Santa's secret wrapping paper supplier) so he knew just what to do and unwrapped it in about 10 seconds!

[bitebitesnap]

Fuck it I'm still on the Tf2 binge so we're gonna go deep diving

RED and BLU are two sets of entirely different people and I will die on this hill

[blusandbirds]

early kyle and hal are soooo crazy to me like when i am the hapless 20-something-year-old chosen to uphold your legacy and you are both the hero i have to live up to and the monster i cannot become.

all i know about you is bad and you're going to destroy time as we know it, so they send me to stop you and we beat the shit out of each other and then take a breather to reminisce on being the most powerful beings in the universe. i hand you the most powerful weapon in the universe. i don't know you but i understand you but i believe in you but i want to help you.

im always trying to help you but i'd kill you in a heartbeat too.

you're my hero and you're just some man and i killed you but when the suns going out and i don't know what to do, i find myself looking for your help. you're the stranger in the portrait i painted. you're the all-powerful punisher of evil who checks in to make sure i'm doing okay.

[bluminescent-moon]

bite me

I’m so hungry I could eat a lesbian tumblr blogger

[800db-cloud]

Can i know your HEADCANONS about spyper? :0

OF. COURSE. and bonus RED spyper stuff too!

i don’t have very deliberate headcanons for a lot of freaks, but spyper is an exception because he used to be one of my very favorites :) he still honestly kind of is

i didn’t know how to include it, but another headcanon about spyper i have is that he has traits and habits that are “leftover” from the spy and sniper he used to be. his right pointer finger is twitchy and fidgety (a trait from sniper), and he chews on wheat as a substitute for cigarettes (sniper wasn’t a smoker, but spy evidently was and spyper gets nagging feelings of needing a smoke still).

the RED medic that sewed spyper together honestly did a shoddy job, since spyper still feels and thinks his body is rejecting his head. he often feels disembodied/disconnected in his own body. yknow… being two separate people grafted together and forming a third, new subconscious and everything. wicked stuff

and i don’t have a lot on RED spyper for now, but i do know that i think he’s a LOT more ‘stable’ of a hybrid than (BLU) spyper is. i wonder what his deal is

[immoral-stranger]

𝐓𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐞 // 𝐋𝐍𝟒

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟏𝟏. 🍓 “You’ve never done me wrong, except for that one time we don’t talk about.” – Boygenius, True Blue.

Pairing: Lando Norris x fem!reader

Word count: 3k

Warnings: none? maybe they're a little horny? this shit is too sweet. it'll give you cavities. oh and you need to have read linger beforehand to understand the dynamic and characters in this.

A/N: my babies Lando and Bunny make a comeback. takes place like a year after the original fic. please tell me what you think ♡

Summer break for Lando usually consisted of long days on a beach somewhere warm. Yachts, beach clubs, and sand between his toes. After dusk, his summer break consisted of long nights in the VIP section at some club. House music, sweaty bodies, and alcohol. 

Getting up at 8 in the morning to take a casual jog around a suburban area in England wouldn’t have been on his agenda if you’d had asked him a year ago when he was painfully single. 

Now, there was no place he’d rather be. Now, summer was different. It was softer, simpler, an, to his complete and utter surprise, infinitely better.

Because you didn’t like Ibiza, or Saint Tropez, or even Monaco. You would compromise and say that it was fine at times, but Lando could see through you like glass. You tolerated the extravagance, but it never made you light up in the same way being at home did. Would it have been easier if you liked the country he lived in? Sure, but it wasn’t like Lando hated England. With a certain disconnect, he actually loved the place. He grew up there. His family was there. You were there. 

So, as much as his phone pinged with Instagram stories of his friends posing behind DJ booths or lounging on sunbeds, he didn’t envy them. He couldn’t complain. 

Not when he was jogging through the quiet streets of your neighbourhood, the soft morning breeze brushing against his skin, the world still drowsy with sleep.

Not when he knew what was waiting for him when he got back—what he would find as he ran up the pathway to your childhood home, up the stairs, and behind the door with a Moulin Rouge poster blu-tacked to it.

The gravel crunched beneath his feet as he slowed to a walk, approaching the house that had, over time, started to feel more like home than his own place. He jogged up the front steps, slipping inside, already anticipating the comfort of warm, sleepy domesticity that awaited him upstairs.

But first, a shower. He wasn’t an idiot. He wouldn’t crawl into bed with you, still sticky from his run. And he made tea—you liked waking up to tea.

The old wooden floors creaked as he entered your bedroom. He felt himself smiling before he could even take in the full sight of you. You were sat on the bed, a notebook in your lap as you scribbled down something, chewing on your bottom lip in concentration. He loved your bedroom. It warmed his heart over and over again to step into an atmosphere that was you and only you. A white, sheer canopy hung over your bed, twinkling even in the bright summer morning from the fairy lights tangled up in it. 

He recognised the t-shirt you were wearing as one that had once been his, but he didn’t complain. How could he? Beneath it, just visible, were underwear he’d given you as a joke—because buying you expensive lingerie was pointless when your favourite style was always cheeky boy shorts. These, in particular, were innocent enough in white cotton—except for the bold, hot pink Playboy bunny logos scattered across them. 

Lando had developed a habit of getting you things with bunnies on them, and you had developed a habit of wearing them just to humour him.

“Morning, Bun-Bun.” 

Your head lifted, eyes blinking away the haze of deep focus. You still looked newly awakened. He could see the way your mind slowly reeled itself back from wherever it had wandered as you took in the sight of him, freshly showered and shirtless in your doorway.

“Oh, you made tea?” Your voice was soft as you reached for one of the mugs he was carrying, fingers curling around the warmth. “Have I told you how much I love you?”

Lando grinned, climbing onto the bed beside you. He settled against the headboard, careful not to spill his own tea as he stretched his legs out beneath the covers. “Only daily.” 

He had never been one to crave stillness before—his life had always been a constant blur, and he liked it that way. But here, in your childhood bedroom, wrapped in soft edges and familiar scents, he felt something rare; he felt safe. It was almost like make-believe, the canopy overhead and your floral seersucker bedsheets making him feel as if he’d tumbled into a fairytale, Alice in Wonderland-style. And for once, he wasn’t desperate to leave.

You looked over at him as you took a long sip of your tea. Wordlessly, he took your mug when you were done, placing it on the nightstand together with his own. Your gaze flickered down to his bare chest, lingering for half a second too long before your brows lifted. 

“You should really put a shirt on,” you remarked. 

Lando’s laughter was low and unbothered. “We’re alone in this house.” 

“What if my dad comes home? Or Matteo decides to get a ride home with one of his friends?” 

Lando exhaled through his nose, amused. You always found things to question. Even the littlest things. Or things that didn’t even make sense half the time. He was lucky he liked hearing your voice so much. If he had once believed you to be shy and reserved, he now knew the opposite. 

“Your dad is still in Manchester for work, which is fourhours away. And need I remind you that Matteo asked for us to pick him up from his sleepover at one o’clock? It’s only nine,” he explained, smiling. “Admit it, you just don’t want to see me shirtless because it’s distracting.” 

You huffed, rolling your eyes as you tucked your legs beneath you, pulling your notebook closer. “Okay, yeah. I really need to finish this.” 

If you hadn’t been so intent on finishing what you were writing, and if Lando hadn’t revelled in the tranquillity of the morning, he would have already pinned you beneath him, taking you—devouring you—right there under the twinkling canopy. No hesitation. No shame. Just want. Just need.

But it could wait. All you had was time with each other. That was a beautiful thing in and of itself. 

Lando shifted, inching closer, his chin resting lightly on your shoulder as he peered down at your scrawled-out notes. The faint scratch of your pen against paper filled the comfortable silence. He couldn’t really see what words you were writing down, but he knew why you were writing and that it was becoming slightly urgent to finish it.

“I still can’t believe they’re making us do this,” Lando groaned after a moment. “Holding a speech at their wedding? Couldn’t they have asked Oscar’s sisters? Or Jasmine’s overly excited mother?” 

“They wanted one simple, nice, and kind speech,” you reminded him. “Oscar’s sisters would roast him into oblivion, and Jasmine’s mother would never stop crying. You know this as much as they do.” 

Lando huffed. “But still, Bunny… I’m too awkward.” 

“Which is why we’re doing it together. You’re lucky I’m such a good actor.” 

“That you are.”

Lando watched as you scribbled down another note, the glimmer of determination in your eyes something he could never get enough of. 

A simple, late summer wedding in the English countryside. Just mere weeks away, and you and Lando were toastmasters. He hadn’t even known that was a thing before Jasmine had run him over with wedding preparations. You were, of course, also her maid of honour. Lando had already seen the dress she had picked out for you, and while the wedding was an exciting thing overall, he really couldn’t wait to see you all dolled up in a gown. 

“Have you written anything yourself?” you asked him, looking up from your notebook. 

Picking up his phone, Lando scrolled through his notes, looking for the right one. “I, uhm… I wrote down a little joke about the first time he introduced me to Jasmine and how she said she would hang me by my underwear from a flagpole outside the MTC if I ever crashed into him.” 

“Sounds like her,” you laughed, leaning over to see his screen, practically falling over him in the process, making a mess of the ruffled sheets between you. “Wait, you’re writing their wedding speech in your notes app?” 

Lando didn’t understand what was so wrong about it. He would have to memorise it anyway. Or, at least, he thought so. Standing there, in front of an entire wedding reception, with a cue card of sorts would feel insincere. 

“You’re writing your part in a Hello Kitty notebook with a glitter gel pen,” he pointed out, picking up your notebook, looking at your sparkly pink handwriting. 

He found even the smallest things about you completely adorable.

“It’s still more thoughtful than using an iPhone,” you shot back, grinning.

Lando draped his arm around your waist, gently pulling you closer until you were nestled against him, your head resting softly on his bare chest. He glanced down at what you'd written, a smile tugging at his lips as he read about Oscar and Jasmine's first date—one you'd helped plan. It had gone horribly wrong when Oscar got lost on public transport and showed up 40 minutes late. A 16-year-old Jasmine had called you, crying, just as Oscar arrived, catching her mid-rant, snot running from her nose. From that moment on, Oscar had been completely soft for her—and probably never showed up late again.

“I can’t believe those two are getting married. They are younger than I am,” Lando heard himself say, almost sighing at the realisation.

“Mhm, because you’re so old,” you joked, your palm hitting his chest lightly. 

The two-year age gap between you and him didn’t seem like much. But seeing how Jasmine and Oscar, who were your exact age, were already so far ahead in their relationship sparked an undeniable sense of dread in him about ageing. He felt both ancient and a little behind.

“It makes sense, though. They’ve been dating since they were, what, sixteen?”

You nodded. He felt your hair as it moved up and down against his skin. “My parents had me and got married by twenty-two. It’s not that uncommon.” 

Lando’s brow furrowed. “You think Jasmine’s pregnant?” 

“That’s not at all what I said.” 

He looked down at you, catching the sheepish smile on your face. It was probably for the best. He couldn’t handle someone younger than him having kids. Especially when those kids would probably call him uncle in the future. That felt backwards. His own nieces were enough to get the cogwheels turning in his head about that he should probably start thinking about having a family of his own. 

A moment of quiet followed, the weight of his next question pressing before he even asked it. The look on his face made it clear he had something serious to say, his fingers drumming absentmindedly against the bedsheet as he gathered his thoughts.

“Do you ever think about marriage yourself?” he wondered softly. 

Your breath caught slightly at the question, eyes flickering to him as you searched for his intent. “To you? Or in general?” 

Lando huffed a small, amused laugh, but there was a nervous edge to it. “I’d hope it be with me.” 

“Sometimes,” you admitted. Your voice was vulnerable, but there was no hesitation. “I think we could make it work.” 

Lando’s lips curved into a small, genuine smile, one that made his dimples dip into his cheeks. “I want Matteo as ring bearer,” he mused, his tone lighter now, “and we’re getting revenge on Jasmine and Oscar by making them do a long-ass speech. Maybe a choreographed dance.”

You snorted. “Mhm, and what would that speech be about?” 

“Definitely how you got a nosebleed the first time I tried to kiss you.” His grin widened as he glanced at you, eyes alight with mischief. “Or how they heard us have sex through the walls of that Italian villa.” 

Your cheeks burnt at the memory, heat crawling up your neck. “Lando!” you groaned, shoving at his arm as he burst into laughter, the sound filling the space with just as much light as the sun filtering through lace curtains.

He nudged his knee against yours beneath the sheets, his laughter softening into something more affectionate. “Maybe they’ll just roast me into oblivion, because they like you more than they like me.” 

“That’s not true,” you murmured, your fingers tracing idle patterns on his chest. “I don’t think they have many bad things to say about you.”

“I’ve been an idiot so many times.” 

“Nuh-uh.” You shook your head firmly. “You’ve never done me wrong… except for that one time we don’t talk about.” 

Lando blinked, confused. “Wait, what? I don’t know what moment your talking about.” 

He was forgetful and sometimes a little ignorant. In reality, he probably thought he’d done you wrong about a million different times. But he couldn’t think of a single defining moment that you would’ve deemed as the most fragile in your relationship.

“Was it when I forgot your birthday?” he guessed. 

“You’ve never forgotten my birthday?” you said, almost like a question, as a crease formed between your brows. 

“Oh, you didn’t realise? Our weekend to New York that was totally planned and not at all because Jasmine called me the night before your birthday to ask what I had gotten you?” Lando couldn’t help but let out a little pathetic laugh. 

In his defence, no one had mentioned that it was your birthday to him. And he also hadn’t thought about asking or remembering the date. He was lucky to have had time off when it did happen. One private jet and a hotel stay later, you’d had a perfect birthday in New York City, seeing a Broadway show for the first time. 

“I didn’t know about that!” you exclaimed, a look of mock horror painted on your face. “But no matter what, I still had a lovely time there, so I would never say that was a wrongdoing from your side.” 

“I guess Jasmine is better at keeping secrets than I thought,” Lando mumbled to himself, still thinking about what you could be thinking of. “Was it when I accidentally stood Matteo up? You cried and yelled at me because of that.” 

That was the first and only time you’d yelled at him out of anger. Out of sadness or anxiety, you’d done it multiple times before. But you weren’t the angry type. So when it slipped his mind that he should’ve taken Matteo to an England football game instead of Max, you had uncharacteristically lashed out on him. It wasn’t necessarily because of the game, but because of the principle of letting down an 11-year-old little boy.

“I didn’t yell,” you corrected him. 

“No, you did.” Lando smiled gently. “I deserved it, though. You were being protective of your baby brother, and I was being a muppet for not remembering what I’d promised him.” 

“It’s still not what I had in mind,” you said, shaking your head.

“Okay, you’ve stumped me. What are you talking about?” 

You bit your lip, watching him carefully before whispering,“After Brazil last year.” His face softened at the realisation. “You were awake for like two days straight and refused to speak to anyone.” 

Lando exhaled through his nose, gaze flickering down, hands fidgeting now. He was letting you continue, although he found the words difficult to hear. 

“We never really talked that through,” you continued, meeting his gaze. “And you feeling so bad and not letting me help you made me feel like the worst girlfriend in the world.” 

His hand found yours beneath the sheets, thumb stroking over your knuckles in silent apology.

“And I’ll always understand that your job is nothing like anything I’ve ever experienced, and I’ll never blame you for being distant at times or closed off because of it.” You squeezed his hand gently, grounding him. “But for two days straight? Yeah, do that again and… I’ll be the one to hang you from a flagpole.”

A breath of laughter escaped him, but it was almost out of embarrassment. “I’m sorry, Bun-Bun.” 

“I know you are,” you murmured, leaning in to press a kiss to his shoulder, lingering just long enough for him to feel the warmth of your lips against his skin.

A beat passed before Lando cleared his throat, picking up your notebook to stare at the messy handwriting again. “What do I get if I finish this fucking speech?” 

You smirked. “Naked cuddles?” 

“Sold.” 

“Do I not get anything? I feel like I’ve written most of it anyway,” you teased, quirking a brow at him.

Lando studied you for a moment, his lips twitching. “I think your hopeless romantic ass secretly adores doing this for them.” He kissed your temple, his breath warm against your skin. “But sure, I can give you a reward,” he added, pressing another quick kiss just below your ear.

A third kiss was placed on your neck, and a fourth on your collarbone. You felt the wetness from his lips as he started to gently suck on your delicate skin, his hand travelling under your shirt to cup your breast in his open palm. 

“Can I play with it soft?” you whispered under your breath, swallowing down a moan. 

Lando groaned dramatically, letting his head fall back against the pillow as he momentarily stopped touching you, acting appalled.

“Anything but that, Bunny. Anything but that.” 

Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think ♡

౨ৎ [ main masterlist . taglist . other love letters ]

Taglist: @koko-mei @anamiad00msday @lucyysthings @yelenam5 @firefirevampire @alexxavicry @emails-i-can-send @freyathehuntress @supergraphicgirl81 @irisesinthegarden

[blubushie]

Will update once it's baked.

[ngage2003]

There is a joke that always stuck with me from the blu-rays/cast commentary, that being that Jay is a nepo baby and that is how he kept affording motels and gas and food for years, even with no job and a growing obsession. Like a dog to a chewed on and wilting sock, this is an idea I have latched onto and grown unreasonably obsessed with, which I personally believe kind of explains aspects of Jay's character.

⟦content warning: serious headcanon territory, but also still a lot of character analysis bc im coocoo⟧

At the start of the series and even into season 2 of Marble Hornets, I think it could definitely be argued that Jay is a passive character before his continued exposure to the Operator.

Now, that isn't to say he is meek (quiet, gentle, and easily imposed on) but he is very guarded, very willing to fade into the background or just go along with other people. I honestly think that is part of why Alex chose him as script supervisor. Because Alex can be fun but he is bossy and has a very specific vision and likes getting his way. (A trait thats honestly pretty normal, especially in artistic types.)

It is important not to conflate Jay's willingness to avoid conflict with submissiveness, gentleness or a lack of care though. Jay still has his own ideas, and when left to his own devices, a deadly curiosity. (That is why Marble Hornets as an online series started.) He still gets angry too, like when Alex is leading him around in circles because he refuses to/can't kill Jay, but also refuses to tell him what is going on. Jay is forced into action after dealing with this behavior for months, but even before then we see him getting more and more frustrated behind the scenes. (Entry 39 is the first example that comes to my mind.)

It also is important to not misconstrue his selfishness, as many people in this fandom do. Jay Merrick is a bit of a dick. (That is why he gets along with Alex.) He lies to Tim very poorly the first time they meet to get information out of him rather than try to directly ask, he didn't help Masky to the hospital after his leg was broken—yes, he thought what Alex did was wrong but ultimately stayed with him and kept following him for answers. Even with Jessica, part of the reason he cares so much is because he feels guilty/responsible and he is, he pulled her into this out of his damn curiosity!

Statement: I believe Jay holds extreme guilt over Jessica being brought into this and what happened to her. Evidence: in Entry 77, when Tim is saying, "there is two possibilities for what happened to jessica," Jay out of the blue says, "It wouldn’t be my fault!" at about 2:43. Tim never implied it was and the only reason I can see Jay to unprompted say this is because he believes it was.

Jay Merrick is someone defined by curiosity and selfish, but while habitually passive. He lies to hide what he wants and what he is doing, sometimes for an understandable reason but also sometimes out of just, once again, habit.

The question easily comes, why is he like that?

Well! Stick with me here—I think is because Jay Merrick IS a nepo baby. Specifically, I think he grew up in a household where his parents were neglectful, and when he was visiblly upset, that was repaid with harsh rejection and then money or expensive apologies rather than concrete change. It was a situation where, while his needs weren't being met, getting angry at it also feels bad because of how we as a society (and his parents specifically too) worship money.

I think his curiosity partially comes from this neglect too, as growing up his parents brushing off questions and lacking support always left him wanting more but without a way to voice it, leaving him with this lifelong unease and need for answers. His parents kind of forgot what it was like to be a kid and how you literally don't know anything, and would often brush off certain things because of this. Additionally, growing up this way also left him a bit selfish, as coming from a place of wealth, being neglected, and being somewhat isolated growing up as a "weird"/visibly autistic kid, that all left him struggling to connect to people and with his own empathy, as we see in canon. This doesn't make him a bad person inherently or anything, but is just a part of who he is. Aside from the obvious case of Jay dragging Jessica into this, I think an example of this is how in Entry 66, when Tim is laying out all his trauma, there is an interaction that goes like this:

Tim: One of the problems I was having was hallucinations. I had a lot of them. [...] [W]henever they would find me [after i escaped from my room,] I would say that I was hiding from whatever it was I was seeing so they’d bring me back and they didn’t have much of a choice except to lock me in here. That’s when it was at its worse. I’d be clawing at the walls and screaming at all hours of the night, they had to up my dosage just to calm me down, to the point that I was almost numb. Jay: But these hallucinations, what did they look like?

You could say his disregard is due to shock, but in my opinion that'd be a bit too forgiving. Sure, Tim is talking about his awful childhood and he is being pretty vivid but, Jay already knew about it to some extent due to his records, and while generally he is closed off and hard to read, he seems more uneasy with Tim's yelling than shocked. Jay's default is just curiosity and wanting answers, that is just kind of a pattern with him, even/especially at the expense of others.

I think he is so passive also because of his home life. Specifically, that was what made living at home easiest, with parents who like having you as a trophy but don't actually care about you. Keeping your head down is how you survive, and he kind of just accepted that "ok this is how the world works." Everyone wants something from you (a compliment, a second opinion that is more vapid support than substance, praise,) and giving it to them makes it easier. I think Alex wheedled him sometimes to try to get him out of that shell, but to some extent also he liked it, liked having someone who agrees with him, and in turn Jay admired his outspoken nature, blatant hatred of his parents, and tolerance for Jay's "weirdness". (Hyperfixations.) They weren't necessarily super duper healthy, but they were two traumatized kids clinging to each other, and sometimes that's just how the cookie crumbles, especially when you're isolated.

I also think, due to being a late 80s-90s kid, Jay did grow up with the internet and probably to some extent was unmonitored, which definitely influenced and impacted him but also did inspire his love of technology. (Specifically film/cameras.) I think it also to some extent fed into his worse habits by accident though, just the unfortunately common attitudes highlighted by the internet, but also was the original way he sated his curiosity. I think his propensity to tell "white lies," could have easily come from this exposure too.

I have a lot of specific instances tie to Jay's childhood that in my brain define why he is Like That, but this is just an overview of my main thoughts and I hope it makes sense.

[supernova41st]

Sweet n’ Sour 👛 (pt.2)

Tf2 x “nice”Reader

A/n: Here’s pt.1 if you don’t know what this fic is abt, ik I said I was going to do my own fic after the last one I made but I couldn’t think of anything sooo I’m just doing this. I might do a ‘tf2 x Snooki!Reader’ cuz I just started watching jersey shore and I love it (also you could tell I put my whole heart and ass into snipers section)

warnings: Slut shaming, Reader and Sniper banging, enemies to lovers, hatefuck (sorry this one’s wild)

Pyro

Pyro quickly took a liking to you because of your girly nature, he loved your style

He’s only ever been on your good side, painting nails reading magazines gossiping etc.

He’s such a girls man. No, not a ladies man, a girls man

“Holy fuck! Snooki got arrested”

“Mm mffmm mmm?”

*from jersey shore??

“Yes from jersey shore!!”

Of course you two are duos on the battlefield, skipping happily around the blu teams base as it burns down

Def owns one of those heart friendship necklaces

About him being a girls man, he always makes sure you look good on the battlefield

Loves picking out outfits with you and always carries around something he knows you’ll forget

“Shit! I forgot to put on lipgloss..”

“Mmm mmphm mm?”

*here, cherry bomb right?

“gasp Omg I love you so much 💕”

You and Pyro would have the loving best friend relationship, kissing each others cheek and shit

Doing makeup on mask>>>>

Imagine the fake lashes along w the blush 😭 he loves it

lol put big anime girl eyes on him pls

“You’re fucking chewing right now P.”

“mmm mm!!!”

*thank you!!

Sniper

He hated you when he first saw you omg. Sniper is introverted cuz he got bullied and school, so now he automatically thinks any girl with even a slightly feminine style is bitchy

To be fair you were.. to him

Srry but he got annoyed with you so fast, it started a hefty rivalry between you and snipes

“Where’s princess prissy?”

“Uhm I know you’re not talking about me, at least I actually go down there to fight unlike you in the sidelines.”

It’s always something with you guys istg

He has to admit (but won’t) , he loves watching you destroy the enemy team the way you do from afar. Blood and guts getting in your hair and pretty face. Whenever you catch him staring at you you always give him the finger, makes him chuckle despite how much he ‘hates��� you

Sometimes he has to leave more than piss in his jars

He still kept the enemy streak but it was just to hide his feelings

The mercs get so sick of your guys’s attitude, they practically begged Miss Pauling to send you and sniper off to a mission so they can get a break. She obliged

“Yeah I’m not working with him, sorry! I’d rather go back to juvie than go sleep in his musty van.”

“Bonzy, wouldn’t want to smell your bloody strong perfume all over me van ya whore.”

“I’d rather smell like strong perfume than someone who hangs around piss jars and has coffee breath!!”

Miss Pauling immediately understood why the mercs wanted you guys to go away. And so she forced you to stay in his ‘musty van’ for a week so that you both can go assassinate god knows who. Safe to say it wasn’t an easy trip.

“Ay, I’m gonna go hunt for dinner, you comin’?

“Why the fuck would I wanna go with you?? Bye.”

damn, you didn’t have to end him like that 😭

You felt something when this bitch came back with a 14ft alligator, dragging it by the tail back to the van. You bit your lip staring at him as he wiped the sweat from his forehead

You asked him to hook up, you tried to be subtle but it just turned out uneasy to say the least

“Hey I liked the way you um.. dragged that crocodile back there”

“Chuckle it was a alligator, Sheila”

“Of course you know the difference..”

You blushed, along with him, laughing awkwardly, biting your pink painted thumbnail while he scratched the back of his neck

Cut to you guys waking up naked in his bed all sweaty

Hate fucking or not, now instead of the mercs being annoyed of you hating each other too much, they hate how much you love each other

“Cmon guys not in the goddamn break room..”

“Sorry, I just love his black coffee breath”

“And I love the smell of the perfume I got ya”

“God I fucking hate it when you use Australian slang..”

You still did your thing in the break room

Spy

He has so much hate in his heart for you, and it shows

The difference between him and sniper is that he doesn’t like ANYTHING about you, especially the way you fight

Sure it surprised him when you showed off how you fought, but he didn’t take a liking to it

While trying to sneak up on an enemy sniper, you immediately bashed their head in with your pink hammer. He glared at you so hard

“😐”

“What shitface?? Say something. I got impatient you were taking too long.”

This guy wants nothing to do with you, if you get assigned to a mission together he’ll have his way to sneak out of it.

In the expiration date short you wrote

Fuck you <3

On the paper he handed to everyone along with a drawing of a middle finger for the bucket thing he did

How did he know it was you? You made the hand look exactly like yours, acrylic nails and all.

You and scout started giggling like school girls

“..would anyone else like to insult me??”

soldier slowly raising his hand

Posting on your story in the middle of a battle is such a good way to mess with him, just doing the peace sign while he stays frustrated in the background

‘This old fuck really expects me to kill this big bitch alone 😹😹 Lol he fucking wishes, anyways I’m prob gonna get in trouble bcuz of this but IDRC 💜 #ellieandmasonhouse’

He wants to kill you so bad, sadly you’re one of the most useful mercs on the team. But if you weren’t he’d be so down to kill you

[animeluvr1000]

Sitting on the mercs lap! Tf2 x reader

(it gets a little repetitive and it feels like i used the same prompt almost whoops) Anyways,this is how the different mercs would respond to you just plopping on their lap! (this story is from my tf2 x reader on wattpad btw)

Heavy: He would just be cleaning his precious Sasha,making sure his gun (his beauty) was in pristine shape and condition,but as he looks at it more he gets surprised when he sees you come over and plop on his lap like he's a chair. He would be shocked at first but chuckle as he wraps his hand around your waist,continuing to clean and inspect Sasha.

Demoman: After a long day of fighting red/blu,all he wants to do is drink his delicious scrumpy. He laid back on the crates drinking like there's no tomorrow until he feels some weight on his legs. He was almost too drunk to know what you were doing but laughed it off as he watched you getting comfortable on his lap before he offered you some of his scrumpy.

Spy: He was in his smoke room drinking some of his finest wine as he smoked,watching as the fire cackled in the fireplace. He put his cigarette in his mouth as he grabbed one of his books that was on the coffee table,reading it before he noticed you come over. He thought you needed something,but when you sat on his lap he was stunned. "Vhat are jou doing ma cheire?" He asked as he noticed you start to get comfortable on him. He sighed but let you stay there having the tiniest hint of a smirk forming on his lips.

Sniper: One of the times when it's ceasefire day and he's not in his smelly ol' camper. He's at the base in the kitchen sipping on a cup of coffee as he's relaxing at the table in silence. That is,until he heard you come in. He thought you were just grabbing something from the fridge but when he saw you come closer,it took him by surprise as you just sat on his lap making his cheeks turn a slight pink,he pressed his hat lower onto his face looking away as he felt your warm body against his. "Bloody hell sheila" he manages to rasp out. He won't admit it,but he likes it and he want's you to stay with him for as long as you can.

Scout: He was simply just minding his business outside sitting on one of the crates,throwing his baseball up and catching it as he chewed on some gum. He noticed you walk in but when you came closer and plopped on his lap,boy did he have a confidence boost and he was intending on using it too. "Heya toots,what's this all about?" He asked in a smug tone as he held onto your waist to help you onto his lap more. He looked smug and all but deep inside he was a flustered mess.

Pyro: As he's playing with one of his lighters,watching as the flame burns bright and flickers,he was too into it before he saw you come over and sit down on his lap making him make an excited muffled sound in response before he quickly wrapped his arms around you tightly,holding you almost like a baby,not really wanting to let you go. As you continued to sit on his lap,he took one arm off of you before switching back on the lighter so that you both can watch the pretty flame.

Soldier: He was vigorously training as usual before he finally took a break wanting it to be quick before getting back to it. Then as he sat down,he smiled at you seeing you come over but when you sat on his lap,he gasped and looked at you. "What's this all about maggot?! This isn't some trick is it?!" When he hears a "no" and that you simply just wanted to sit on his lap,he grinned as he looked around tugging at his collar as he felt you get all nice and comfy on him. Eventually he'll lean on you,putting his arms around you but quickly stops after a moment and takes you off of him before he quickly gets back to his training.

Medic: He was in his infirmary,fixing up his ubercharge and doing only heavens knows what,he was doing a few more tests sitting at his medical table but that's when you came in the room walking towards him. He thought you needed fixing or that something was wrong,so when you plopped on his lap,he looked at you with a grin as his eyes widened. "Oh schatz!" he exclaimed as he tenderly wrapped his arms around you holding you for a moment before going on a huge rant about his experiments and such.

Engineer: He would be in his workshop working on blueprints and his sentries,fixing them up and thinking of new ways to make them better. Then when you came in,he thought you wanted to watch him or needed something fixed since that's what you would come in for sometimes. But as he got back to working on his sentries,legs open as he sits at his desk,he feels you plop down on him making him surprised and shocked. "D-darlin' w-what are ya doin'?" He asked as he felt you press against him. His face was was red but he put his gloved hand around your waist and let you stay there for as long as you wanted as he continued to work. (Even though he was on the brink of having a heart attack)

That's all! I did tweak it a bit from my story on wattpad to make it 'better'.

[jaegeraether]

Sunsets and footballers (Part 70)

Lucy Bronze x Reader (57) / Alexia Putellas x Character (27) & Jordan Nobbs x Leah Williamson (13)

Masterlist (other parts here)

((**2.5k**))

I recommend reading the last 5+ parts first!

((**Sorry for the lack of posting. Life and... procrastination getting in the way. I'll try to post more, starting with smaller chapters. Much love! Jae.**))

Jordan hadn’t realised that she’d instinctively sought the comfort of Leah by grabbing her hand until she felt a soft squeeze. Realising, she dropped Leah’s hand just as quickly as she’d grabbed it and tried to not look at her. It wasn’t too difficult though, as the room in front of them was much more interesting. It resembled the size and structure of a warehouse space, though it was set up for content. There were different areas for interviews, photos, videos, there were different sports brands moving throughout, clothes overflowing racks, and so much more. The pets were great to see –Blu whined from her arms and his head darted around, his eyes overwhelmed and excited not only by the amount of people, but by the pets too. He loved to play, though his stamina was awful. This is one thing she missed most about not having Leah around. Those two were always playing together.

“You’re alright, mate,” Leah calmed as she stroked his head while tucked up against Jordan’s chest with one of her arms. Jordan relished the feel of Leah’s arm brushing up against her chest lightly as she pet him.

“Madness, right?” Beth chuckled excitedly. Of course she was in her comfort zone.

She spotted Viv and joined her across the room.

“Are you just going to keep standing there?” Jen asked in her amused, wondering tone.

Jordan had no idea and so Leah jumped in.

“Where do we even start..?”

Jen pointed across them and to the area set up with tables of food and drink. Standing right in front of it was the person you’d always expect to find near the food. The pair chuckled when they saw her stuffing her mouth. “She’ll sort you out.”

Jordan shook her head and she couldn’t help the smile cross her face as she wandered over to the food table followed closely by Leah.

“Hey, mate.”

Lucy turned around mid-chew. Her eyes lit up as she saw them both. She gulped down her bite and gave them a little hug while she did so, with a pat for Blu. “Hey you two. You came! I really didn’t think you would but YFN knew you would.”

“Of course we would,” Leah laughed.

“What’s happening?” Jordan asked. “You’re usually eating but you look like you’re stress eating at the moment. Feeling guilty?”

Lucy gave a sheepish grin, having been caught. Jordan had known her for so long. “Just a bit-”

Jordan’s expression had her rolling her eyes as she looked over towards YFN. “-a lot. I didn’t expect it to become what it has. I just wanted to distract her so I could organise her birthday next week.”

Lucy’s expression was obvious regret as she watched her. Jordan followed her eyes to where YFN was. She was sitting at a table with piles of paperwork and her laptop in front of her. Sitting next to her was Alex Scott, though YFN was talking to some Lumos employees who nodded and left. She was obviously organising everything and Jordan always loved to watch her in boss mode. She seemed very tired, though, but that didn’t stop the smile lighting her face. She looked over at the trio and her face lit up from its weariness. She waved at the group as her attention was quickly taken up again by someone else.

“Are you hiding?” Leah asked.

Lucy shook her head and grabbed the plates of food she had on the table in front of her.

“Just stress eating,” Jordan laughed as the trio wandered over to join the table.

“I didn’t want… this,” Lucy grunted. “It just got so out of hand. Everybody jumped on board like the tavern dinner.”

“Have you even spoken to anyone about the birthday plans yet?” Leah murmured as they got closer.

“Only a few. I was hoping you two would distract her so I’d have a better chance to. I’ve been hovering because I feel like someone’s going to run into her. Now be quiet about it… oh and don’t mention Ridley.”

The pair didn’t have a chance to question that before they reached the table and instead shared a look. They each greeted the pair at the table and unsurprisingly, Leah fell straight into conversation with Alex from her seat next to Jordan. The pair were close, though never in a way beyond friendship. Truth be told, she enjoyed seeing Leah interacting with her friend.

“I missed you,” YFN groaned into her as they hugged and then acknowledged Blu. “Hi little man. I missed you too.”

“I missed you more,” Jordan admitted as she held her for longer than she expected. She really did miss her friend. YFN held her until Jordan released first with tears in her eyes that she tried to cover.

“Got a bit carried away, did we?” YFN asked as Lucy put the obscene amount of food down in front of her with a kiss to the temple.

“I know you like options… think of it as tapas, little one.”

She rolled her eyes with a smile that only Lucy brought out of her. “That too, but I was talking about you hoovering. I saw you eating your feelings, Luce. Or rather… inhaling them.”

Jordan chuckled as she placed Blu down on the chair next to her and watched as Lucy wrapped an arm around YFN, holding her softly. It seemed Lucy was still very much feeling guilty and protective of her injuries, and Jordan felt a pang of empathy in her chest. She was still so broken, and she could see her wince at each wrong movement, though she did try to hide it. For Lucy’s sake, she imagined.

“Do you need somewhere to stay tonight?”

Jordan felt Leah shift next to her, having heard the question, and somehow, she knew she was listening to her response. Jordan wasn’t sure what brought out the sudden pride in her as she responded.

“Blu and I are actually staying with Leah tonight.” She said, smiling at Leah who paused her sentence just to smile back and share a moment. Enough was enough. Jordan wanted her. She knew that. And although unexpected, tonight she wanted to show Leah just how much she still cared for her. She felt ready.

Jordan turned back to the couple in front of her. Lucy nodded, her eyes flickering between the two. Though YFN was smiling kindly and… knowingly. Like she already knew.

YFN POV

“Sounds perfect.” Silence hung for a second and as she usually did, YFN broke it to keep the conversation flowing. “Did anyone explain to you two what’s happening here?”

“Nope.”

“Okay so Lucy sort of took the opportunity to ask around to get some people interested in meeting up today and introducing them to our company but it seems things have gotten a little out of hand…” Lucy looked apologetic as YFN’s eyes flickered around the room, making sure everything was running smooth. “So everyone is getting involved as much or as little as they like. Before you do anything, there’s our legal team over there dealing with legality when it comes to us posting content et cetera. Then there’s the photography over there… interviews there… tik tok content there… Nike have set up there… Adidas there… there’s several clothing or sports brands set up to promote themselves and find new brand ambassadors but they’re under strict instructions to not approach anyone, I want only the interested footballers to approach them instead.” She looked over to the booths set up. “Though they have been pretty sneaky with their little signs…” she chuckled as she watched one of the sports drink brands holding up a board saying ‘JOIN THE DARK SIDE LJ’ as Lauren laughed from afar. “Food and drink over there… let the lads there know if you want anything and they’ll get it. Lots of hungry women here… and I’ll be doing the pet interviews over here starting again soon, just having a little break for now. Oh and the podcast.”

“So you are starting the podcast?” Leah asked.

“I think it’ll be a great weekly thing to do to keep up with current events and have guest speakers.”

“Thanks for throwin’ my name out there,” Alex grinned at Leah. “I think it’s great. We’ve been chattin’ about it a lot and I think YFN, Jill and I are going to each bring something different to it. We were going to start today if Jill can get here.”

“She’s coming from Manchester?”

“Have you looked around? People are comin’ from everywhere. It’s crazy.” They shared a laugh at that as they couldn’t help but look around the packed room again.

“How did you even manage all of this?” Leah asked.

“Well we spoke to a few of the girls who were over last night-”

“-you mean the whole Arsenal team?”

“Basically. And they messaged around and then it sort of became this. To be honest, I think it was just perfect timing being everyone’s day off and most of the girls didn’t arrive until just before you two. Everyone was sleeping in and word was spreading. I’ve just been trying to stop the bleeding all morning. More food. More table. Backdrops. Cameras. Film equipment. Luckily our staff is so properly vetted – they’ve all jumped in feet first. I was worried we’d be drowning for a second, but everything’s going well…”

“You’re doing an amazing job…” Lucy murmured to her. Her heart fluttered as she leant into her a little more. She knew she’d be sleeping well tonight.

“Thanks, Luce. Thank you for getting everyone together.”

She was saying that for Lucy to know that she did appreciate her effort, and to try and take some of that guilt away of course.

“I’ll give you more notice next time…” She joked half-heartedly.

“I’d very much appreciate that,” she laughed in response as her phone vibrated. She looked down, wondering if it was Joe again, excited with her updates. But it wasn’t. Her eyes widened as she answered.

“Hey… did you get my messages?”

“Sí,” Alexia responded almost normally. “I would like to come.”

YFN had been trying to get in contact with her all morning and had invited her to their little open day of course, thinking it might be a welcome distraction. She never thought she’d say yes, though.

“Okay… um…” She turned to Lucy who took her key from her pocket and gestured to the phone, knowing exactly what she was going to ask. Her Lucy. It was these little things that made her adore her so much. “Okay, Lucy is on her way to get you. She’ll be there soon!”

“Okay. Can I bring Chiquito?”

YFN hesitated. Ridley adored Chiquito more than anything. He was a mini Ridley. Her little man. She’d left him with Alexia which confirmed what YFN already knew. Ridley was completely and utterly in love with her. “Uh… yes of course you can bring Chiquito. Everyone has brought their pets actually. I’ll be doing pet and player interviews if you’d like to but we’ll discuss it when you get here.”

She shared a look with Lucy whose thinking lines appeared on her forehead at the mention of Chiquito.

“See you soon, Blau.”

“See you Ale.”

She hung up and Lucy tilted her head in question.

“She sounds… surprisingly okay,” YFN murmured.

Lucy frowned. So did she. They both knew that was bad. Alexia had shut down her emotions which meant one thing… she would break.

Lucy sighed and leant forwards, her lips finding YFN’s, her hand cradling her cheek. The softest of kisses.

“I’ll be back soon, little one,” she said as she kissed her forehead and stood. “You all look after her, please. She’s fragile and refuses to believe it sometimes.”

YFN managed to slap her hip as she walked away, and Lucy was unable to stop herself from looking over her shoulder at her as she was leaving. She smiled when she caught her eye. It should be illegal to look that good, YFN thought.

Her attention was drawn back to the table at the eyes that were avoiding her. She sighed. “Lucy said not to mention Ridley, right?”

Their faces answered the question.

“Of course she did. That woman… hm. Well, because Alexia is coming, I feel like you all need to know what’s happening so we can all help the situation because I can’t exactly move quickly and people are bound to harass Alexia because it’s… well… Alexia.”

“Did something happen with them finally?” Alex asked.

“You know Ridley?” Leah asked Alex.

“The hot bisexual? Impossible to not when everyone is talking about her. You know how the girls are when a hot new single women enters our world,” she laughed. “And I sort of put two and two together with those photos online of you all at lunch the other day. They looked very friendly.”

“At lunch?!” Jordan asked.

“I handled it…” YFN murmured. “They took them down but a few people know. Anyways… please keep it to yourselves, just take this information and try to make Alexia feel comfortable…”

“They finally did it then?” Leah asked.

“I’m… not sure. Ridley is gone. That’s all.”

“Gone?”

“Gone. There’s a good chance you won’t see her again. She… does this. She doesn’t get close to people. She stopped by last night and said goodbye about 3am. I’ve been awake ever since. Alexia is still in her apartment with Chiquito.”

They didn’t say anything.

“So be kind to Alexia please and don’t mention it… and try to steer conversations away from relationships. They nodded, understanding and already empathising. She saw Jordan look at Leah with longing and then hiding her expression.

They spoke for a little longer, and others came over to the table to chat and introduce their dogs. Eventually, her phone started buzzing again.

“Lucy’s calling…” she murmured, wonderingly. She answered the call.

“Love, Alexia has someone coming from Spain and they’ll be there soon-”

“-i’m sorry,” Alexia cut off, presumably from the passenger seat of the car. “I didn’t tell her to come. I didn’t know she would come-”

“-hey, that’s okay!” YFN responded with a laugh. She wanted Alexia to be comfortable and give her everything she needed right now. It was a positive sign that someone had come to be with Alexia when she needed it. It meant she’d been talking and opening up. “The more the merrier, and more won’t hurt looking around at this place already.”

“You don’t understand. Little one…” Lucy’s voice faded out as YFN realised why they were so nonchalant about the situation. Across the far side of the room, one of the Lumos workers entered, gesturing the new guest inside the content warehouse.

She’d be lying if she didn’t say that her heart skipped a beat at the little figure of Ona Batlle entering the room.

[blusandbirds]

art donaldson they may call you a snake but he got two hot people holding out their hands for him to spit his gum into, as stated he wins. a lot.

[multiheadcanons]

BLU STREETWEAR

scout: a long sleeve shirt with thumb holes chewed into them, and a solid t shirt over that. occasionally he will put a jacket or a hoodie over this if it is cold. a pair of joggers, long crew socks, and a pair of platform high top sneakers, the shoelaces wrapped around his ankle three times, and the ends tucked into the shoes themselves. if it’s sunny, he will add a brimmed hat. doesn’t like beanies, so he rarely wears them.

soldier: a simple white t shirt and a pair of neutral colored pants, slacks, or jeans. black or brown leather jacket with an interior faux fur lining over the shirt, and his work boots. he doesn’t own any other shoes than his work boots. they are molded to his feet, and at this point are some of the most comfortable things he owns. helmet stays on unless the team begs him to leave it at home. they think he’s cuter without it.

pyro: their fire suit, but with a ring on every finger. pyro is a big accessorizer. lots of hats, lots of jewelry, lots of purses and bags, lots of stick on gems. they are usually running around with gems glued to the gas mask where their ears assumedly are. those are their earrings. pyro also has a lot of coverups. robes, sweaters, jackets, coats. pyro doesn’t like to take the suit off, but they do like the variety in their looks! it works for them.

demo: black cropped short sleeved turtleneck with an undershirt of various colors and textures. leather jacket, and a pair of sneakers, or a pair of combat boots. the undershirt normally will match his pants, which are usually cargo joggers. he’s got undershirts and this particular style of pants in every color and pattern imaginable, and there is a match for each article of clothing. styled with a thick, structured trench coat in various neutrals and a kooky beanie that doesn’t match anything.

heavy: white, thin long sleeve shirt. a solid shirt, normally blue, placed above it. sleeves left alone regardless of the temperature outside. the pants change, but are usually thick, or freshly pressed denim. he once wore overalls and that freaked everyone out, so those got taken out of the wardrobe. denim jackets that do not get above a cerulean in tone and saturation and leather fingerless gloves, usually left unbuttoned unless it’s cold. if he’s wearing jeans, he will switch to a leather jacket. thick platformed boots. he likes the extra inches. makes his existence funnier. sometimes, he will wear a cap.

engineer: this man goes pretty much everywhere in the same hoodie and jeans he’s owned for the past ten years. it’s the shoes that change. sometimes it’s his work boots. sometimes a ratty pair of sneakers. sometimes a pair of well cared for loafers. sometimes fuzzy dog slippers and socks. underneath the hoodie is normally a short sleeved collared shirt, patterned with odd and silly, almost eye watering designs. or flannel in a variety of colors. has a large sherpa olive green coat for the colder days. his actual outfit rarely, if ever changes, what does is how he wears it. there is a notable difference of him wearing this hoodie slouched, covered in crumbs versus his shoulders rolled back and his characteristic uncaring charisma.

medic: it really depends on the weather. on hotter days, he will opt for a white cotton three quarter sleeve shirt, and a pair of pressed slacks with leather dress shoes. his forearms are usually busting out of the sleeves, and he is already complaining of the heat. in the colder months, he is much more put together, and less bitchy. a dark brown turtleneck, a vest of a complementing color, and wool blend slacks. a thick woolen trench coat above that, and occasionally a cap. has many odd pairs of shoes for the winter. loafers with cutouts, infeasibly fitted boots that look crafted around his legs, none truly made for snow. this has never posed a problem.

sniper: snipes will eat up a little v neck henley and a pair of casual slacks. and you know those buttons are never done and those sleeves are cuffed, come on. he might cuff his pants comically high, even. really just depends on what he’s doing for the day. normally in some sandals. “thongs”, even. he learned very quickly he could not call them thongs around the americans. or any of the team, really. though when he found out what a thong was in america he was quite humored! if it’s cold he’s just wearing his regular shoes, and a vest.

spy: stay with me on this journey, okay? because he’s gonna eat this up, promise. a powder blue crewneck, comically oversized. like 5xl men’s powder blue crewneck layered on top of a silk white button up shirt. he belts it with a wide cognac belt, allowing the rest of the belt to flap however it will. if he’s feeling particularly queer, under this will be a powder blue dominant plaid pleated skirt. he tops this with loafers of his choice. and you know the balaclava stays on.