#chronic pain been a pain in the ass too. I’m back to being fatigued. tired. and in pain once again

[dadbots]

April, huh….

[nicostolemybones]

Bodyswap, Godswap

@solangeloweek a little late but! A twist on Godswap because I was planning an Ares/Hecate Godswap but couldn't decide who I preferred to be in the Hecate cabin

Tw: heavy swearing

Nico was not happy to be woken up. He was even less happy to be woken up by the mythical entity known as 'sunlight'. He tried to bury himself back in his blankets in confusion, but then. Then. Music. Not even good music. Some song from Shrek everybody loved. And then. Then. Some fucker in his room started playing some kind of annoying ass squeaky clarinet solo. Sure, Nico could play the clarinet, but it was clear that this motherfucker was purposely making it squeak. 

Nico practically ripped the blankets off- and promptly hissed and winced at the sunlight. He tried to close his curtains but somehow the damn sunlight still got through. How? He had blackout curtains, there was no godsdamned way. So, he realised, he must have shadow travelled in his sleep. He groaned loudly, turning to look around-

Well fuck.

There was Will's siblings. The annoying Clarinet player stepped forwards, pointed the damned thing right next to his ear, and squeaked it loudly. The sound hurt, splitting through Nico's skull. He tried to swat the clarinet down, but he severely miscalculated and accidentally rammed the clarinet further in the person's mouth, and now they were crying and their teeth were bleeding and wow Nico was such a jerk. 

Everybody was staring at him in shock, so Nico ran into the bathroom to breathe and stop panicking before he'd apologise, but as soon as he looked in the mirror-

He screamed.

Because that was very much Will in the mirror. Nico was about to assume that Will had Iris messaged him- until he noticed Will's face mirroring his expressions. And that is when Nico truly panicked. Because he was in Will's body. He was not in his own body, he was in Will's body, and Will was wearing pyjamas like a heathen and there was no way Nico was going to undress him to dress him again because this was not his body and he had no idea what Will would be comfortable with. Also Nico was fourteen okay, and whilst he was curious, he was far more awkward and uncomfortable.

He didn't want to leave Will's body all sweaty and gross, though, so he filled the sink with water and decided to wash over his face, neck, hands, and arms.

-

Will definitely felt weird. He hadn't seen any sunlight, it was pitch black aside from… was that… Greek fire torches? He didn't remember going to sleep in Nico's cabin… maybe he was just groggy because there was no natural light in here. He opened the curtains, wincing as his spine protested. He must have threw his back out carrying all the boxes into the infirmary yesterday, but he didn't remember them being that heavy… he stretched, but the pain in his back got worse, so he headed to the bathroom. He decided to go straight for a shower, but as he went to take his clothes off, he realised… this was not his body. 

They were Nico's jeans and Nico's shirt, the same ones he'd worn yesterday. And they were a little loose, and Will was definitely not that thin when he went to sleep. He backtracked to Nico's mirror and his suspicions were confirmed when Nico's sleep deprived face stared back at him. So a shower was very much out of the question. And sure, Will had seen many campers in states of undress in the infirmary, but it was very different when this was his boyfriend, whose body he was in, where it wasn't a matter of life or death. Will sniffed his pits- and decided against doing that again. It didn't seem like Nico had showered in a while, so he must have hit a rough patch. 

Nico's hair was matted, so Will decided to take the time to care for it, brushing it through then bending over the sink to carefully wash it- they both had a similar hair type, so Will wasn't too worried about ruining it- although, Nico didn't have shampoo, so Will had to improvise and hope for best. Will went over Nico's face and arms and cleaned behind his nails, and quickly wiped his armpits under his shirt so Nico's body didn't smell of sweat for Nico's comfort when he was back in it- and also so he'd have less to worry about when he was back in his body. 

Nico's skin was definitely more sensitive than Will's- not necessarily painful, but the fabric of his shirt was irritating and overwhelming, and Will finally understood why Nico didn't like touch too much, because yikes… that wasn't very fun. And Will was also screwed because he didn't know what foods would make Nico nauseous, or what time he preferred to take his pain meds.

-

Nico was not having a good time when he marched over to his own cabin. Will was stupidly tall, and Nico was not used to the extra height. When he'd sat down, he'd almost fallen backwards, because he hadn't calculated how much taller than the chair Will was in comparison to Nico. He knocked on his own cabin door, and was not prepared to see himself stood there.

"I'm- short," Nico noted, and Will nodded. 

"So small. Also wow I'm… taller than I thought."

"I don't feel like I'm about to pass out," Nico noted, "is this what healthy feels like?"

"No," Will laughed, "gods no, I'm far from healthy, give it, like, an hour, you'll still feel tired and dizzy."

"I don't feel tired though," Nico shrugged, "this is the least tired I've felt."

"I feel like I've been awake for four days," Will replied, "I have no energy…"

"Yeah, welcome to chronic fatigue, try not to fall asleep in your breakfast and if you do fall asleep, try not to murder the at least five people who chew you out for being lazy during training. Just… good luck, you poor bastard. I've had time to get used to this, you…" Nico gestured to Will "are an insufferably healthy morning person, good luck."

"Well thanks(!) Also I feel we should set boundaries here. Just, no touching the, yeah, that's a good boundary. No looking either."

"Obviously," Nico replied hastily, "now let's never bring that up again before I die of embarrassment!"

"Agreed," Will snorted. "Hey, do you think we can use each other's powers?"

"...I wonder if we can use our own powers but… with each others. Like… light travel or shadow healing. And then, when we're back in our own bodies, we can… we can just teach each other how we did that…"

"Oh my god we can become ten times more awesome-"

"I'll race you!" Nico bolted off towards the training arena before Will could protest. Will was always declaring a race, and Nico could never catch up, way too short and way too sick to actually manage to catch up. But now? In Will's body? With long legs and daily running? When Will would never miss a leg day? Nico had never run quite so fast and it was awesome, although he figured he maybe should have dressed Will in something else, because the fabric of his pyjamas was seriously chafing where his thighs met. But then. Then Nico discovered that flip flops were not easy to run in. He lost one, and tripped over the other, and faceplanted the floor. Seriously, how in the hell did Will manage to outrun six heavily armed Romans in these?

Will caught up to him, wheezing, and immediately sat on the floor. "Christ Neeks," he gasped, "your fucking lungs are shit!"

"Flip flops? Seriously? Will these are a death trap!"

"What the fuck is your spine playing at, why is it trying to murder me right now?!"

"How the hell do you deal with the chub rub, it hurts!"

"Talcum powder," Will replied, still catching his breath. "And you're. Definitely coming back to the infirmary for more tests."

"Give me a few days," Nico conceded, and Will nodded, standing up- and immediately staggering.

"Fuck, where's my vision gone-"

"Where you left it," Nico replied deadpan, but Will was too busy waving his hand in front of his face.

"Will it come back or do I have to call it like a dog?"

"Just move around a little. It leaves this weird fuzzy pressure in your skull a little when it comes back but you won't pass out if you still got your hearing."

"Oh my god how are you not dead yet, what the hell is wrong with your body why is it doing this to me?"

"A lot of things, doc," Nico replied, springing to his feet, "a hell of a lot of things. It's your problem now!" Will groaned dramatically, slowly walking towards the training arena.

-

Will was definitely having fun. Nico's powers were just so cool, so fun, and so emo. He had to resist the urge to make his own edgy music videos to MCR songs using the shadows and skeletons as special effects. 

He was currently watching Nico using his powers, which was definitely a sight to behold. Nico was manipulating the light into heavily concentrated rays, stepping inside them, and emerging elsewhere. He was placing his hands upon the bones beneath them and breathing life into them, returning their souls. How could a son of Apollo do necromancy? But Nico… Nico had spent the last few years amongst the dead, and it was allowing him to use his knowledge to manipulate Will's powers into something stronger, something unstoppable. And Nico had discovered how to make deadly whips of light, how to create haemorrhagic plagues, how to create a sonic whistle loud enough that it may deafen or kill. In just a few short hours, Nico had unlocked abilities Will wasn't sure he was even supposed to have.

And then it was Will's turn with Nico's powers… but what could he do? Nico was already… well, overpowered. He was able to boost Nico's healing powers using the shadows, was able to use Nico's ability to solidify the shadows to create tiny tools- he could will the shadows into a body, turn them into sutures, use them to hold off a bleed. Will discovered he could break or fix bones, could fuse them, could unfuse them. He discovered he could turn his hand transparent, could reach inside and fix the problem without cutting people open. He could use the shadows to freeze or cauterize, could keep an organ on ice in the shadows, or burn the flesh to stem a bleed. He could return a soul to the body from the underworld, could stop death… 

Well fuck. When using each other's powers, with the knowledge and skills of their own… they were doing things that they were sure were… were never intended for a demigod to do… that made them more powerful than their parents. 

Suddenly, experimenting with their powers felt dangerous.

[ashtheshortstack]

take my scars & make them stars - ch 2

Rating: M Ship: Kristoff/Anna Chapter Two

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Sick Fic, Cancer Fic, Chronic Illness, Chemotherapy, Modern AU, Coffee Shop AU, Fluff and Angst, Fluff, Eventual Smut, Angst with a happy ending, Mutual Pining, Mentions of Character Death

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Anna had already decided she would be stopping by Arendelle Roasts after her treatment today and prayed Kristoff would be working again this time. She wouldn’t dare tell Elsa. Her sister had insisted on tagging along but since Elsa hadn’t been feeling well, Anna used it as an excuse to tell her to sit this one out.

Was it horrible for her to use her sister’s health issues as an excuse so she could go talk to a guy? Yes. Absolutely. But Anna had a life-threatening disease that could easily take her out. She only had one life to live and if involved flirting with a big, burly, blonde barista… how could Anna resist?

Anna glared at the I.V. drip. It was taking far too long. Did it always drip that slowly? How did Elsa have this much patience when she accompanied her? Usually, she would feel a bit drained after a round of chemo, but Anna had to keep her energy up. For… reasons.

Her toes tapped on the carpet as she stared at her book in her lap. The words on the page jumbling together as Anna simply almost went cross-eyed at the font. Her brain was nowhere near focused enough to process the English language. All she could think about was what she would say to Kristoff when she saw him. Honestly, she hadn’t planned this idea out at all. What if she got tongue tied!? She didn’t have Elsa to help her out of this one.

Maybe, this was a bad idea. Going home was probably the better option, right? Who was she fooling? Like she told Elsa: no man would willingly date a bald girl with no boobs. Anna didn’t think she was really anything to look at before all of this, let alone now.

She slammed the book closed, groaning as she pulled out her phone instead. How would she know that Kristoff was even working again? It wasn’t like she knew his shifts or anything. If this stupid chemo didn’t hurry up she really would lose her mind.

Why had he noticed her in the first place!? Well, she knew why she garnered the attention of others, but his attention was different. Why didn’t he look at her like everyone else had?

She had to know why. Desperately desired more knowledge about him… Elsa had gotten her to admit she found him to be attractive. Almost looked out of place for his career choice. She idly wondered if this was just a temporary job for him… She remembered how broad his shoulders were, the messiness of his blonde locks, his hands—God, his hands—were so much bigger than hers. The touch of his rough skin had startled her when she handed over her sister’s credit card. What would it be like if she held his hand? Would his fingers engulf hers?

…And she was way off base here. There was no indication from him that he was interested in her like that. She couldn’t even bring herself to admit having tiny crush on him… She was a grown ass adult, dammit! She couldn’t be fawning over some—some… guy she saw in a coffee shop. Anna wasn’t that desperate little girl who desired the love of a prince charming anymore. She’d been there, done that, and learned that lesson.

But still. Yes. Maybe—Maybe, he was cute. But that was okay. She could admit someone was cute. Didn’t mean she wanted to date him. Or—sleep with him?

Wait. No.

Stop.

Not going there.

Anna shook her head, clearing her head of such thoughts. She knew what men desired. And she certainly wasn’t it. Not anymore. Her body was weak and scrawny. At times, she barely even felt like a person herself. Besides, ever since starting chemo her sex drive was zilch. Of course, she hadn’t told anyone that. Elsa wasn’t one to discuss such topics. And like hell she’d tell Gerda. It was embarrassing enough to lose her libido. Talking about it would be much worse.

She couldn’t help it though. Her attraction to Kristoff did elicit some thoughts in her mind. He was just so different than Hans. Or any other man she’d found desirable in the past. Since when did she like thicker men with big hands and probably bigger—nope.

Anna felt her face flush, mortified. No. Nada. She would not—could not have such thoughts about a man she had just met. Why did her mind keep wandering to improper territories? She tried to reason with herself. She hadn’t been—intimate with anyone in a while. She’d been going through treatments almost three months, she left Hans after her diagnosis five months prior… And she stopped sleeping with him when their relationship was on its last threads. That had to be why. A completely reasonable explanation as to why she’d be thinking about Kristoff in that way. About how it may feel to be wrapped in his arms and—

Dr. Mattias opened the door.

Thank God.

“Good afternoon, Anna,” he began as he started in the room. “How are we feeling today?”

Sighing, she smiled at him as he took a seat on the stool across from her. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? You look awfully flushed.”

Her hand went to her cheek, feeling the heat on her skin. “Ah—I-It’s a little hot in here, I guess.”

Dr. Mattias eyed her a moment. He could usually see right through her. “Do we need to adjust the thermostat?”

“No! It’s fine. Just—I’m fine.”

Humming, he wrote on his clipboard in hand. “Okay… What about symptoms? What have you been feeling?”

“Fatigue, mostly. I’ve been tired all the time. Sometimes I lose my breath if I’m too active and need to sit down,” she told him before pursing her lips. “The mouth sores are pretty bad.”

That got him to look up from his writing. “Mouth sores?”

“Yeah. I have a lot of ulcers. I’ve been sticking to soup and liquid foods to help the pain. Solid foods haven’t really been my friend. I-It feels like I’m eating bits of glass. I can’t—I can’t really taste much either. But all of that is normal, right?”

With a sympathetic nod, he took more notes on his paper. “Yes, those are definitely side effects I’ve seen from treatment before. I would suggest getting a mouth sore rinse. Should be near regular mouth wash in a store. It won’t prevent more from appearing, but it’ll at least relieve some of the pain from the ones you already have. There’s nothing we can really do about loss of taste, but most patients have their taste return once in remission.”

Anna nodded in understanding. “That’s great! So, I won’t be like this forever?”

Dr. Mattias smiled at her optimism. “Most likely,” he paused, giving her another glance and cleared his throat. “Anna, I need you to be honest with me. If the pain becomes too much, a feeding tube is always an option.”

He hadn’t meant for the statement to jar her as it had, she knew. But it did anyway. Silently, she gave a nod, unable to look him in the eyes.

“I’m not trying to scare you—by any means. However, the last thing I want to put you through is unnecessary suffering,” he explained.

“I understand.”

                                                       o~o~o~o

 Arendelle Roasts wasn’t too far from the hospital. That’s how Elsa had discovered the quaint coffee shop in the first place. It was only about a ten-minute walk. Anna could make it, she knew. Despite being a little drained and sore, she would be fine. She had stuck around the hospital for a bit anyway, got a small healthy snack, and met with the counselling group. It gave her plenty of time to sit and gather herself.

Starting her walk, she would see if he was there before she strolled in the doors of the shop, thankfully. The large windows showed the entire inside of the establishment. Anna tried to be casual when she looked for him. She smiled despite herself when she saw him behind the register. There was someone else with him today, and she worried a bit that maybe the other guy would try to take her order.

But… mustering up her pride, she walked in the door anyway. The bell chimed over the doorway, making the boys look up. Kristoff seemed stunned to see her and said something to the other guy quickly before shooing him.

“A-Anna,” Kristoff sputtered as she reached the counter. He glanced behind her. “No Elsa today?”

“O-Oh.”

Shit. She knew she’d forgotten something. A lie to tell him as to why she was here. He was looking at her expectantly. Anna knew he’d probably buy whatever she told him, but what made the most sense?

“Well, Elsa’s sick today and couldn’t come out today. S-So, I thought I’d bring her a latte back home.”

Kristoff smiled at that with a nod. “S’mores. 12-ounce, right?”

Blinking, her jaw went slack. He remembered what she had ordered for Elsa. And it had been almost two weeks since she last saw this man. Again, he was looking at her. Shit, she was slow today. But he never gave her any sign he was annoyed or irritated. He just—just waited patiently.

“Y-Yeah. That’s right.”

“Got it,” he said and started towards the machine. Anna pulled out her card, fingers quivering as she waited. God, she kinda hoped he would touch her hand again. He was so warm last time.

When he returned with the cup, she went hand him the card, but he held up a hand to stop her. “I’m off the clock. Consider it on the house.”

Anna gaped. “Wait, what?”

Kristoff laughed at that. “I’m clocked out. I’ll pay for the coffee.”

“Thank you,” she replied, stunned and awestruck that he made her coffee when he wasn’t on shift anymore.

Do it, Anna. Just do it! Ask him! Ask him to talk! He’s not working! Do it, do it, do it!!

“Since you’re off the clock would you—uh—want to—t-talk? Talk to me? Like hang out? Uh…”

Great. She sounded like an idiot. His eyes widened at her, lips parted.

The other boy came back around the corner before Kristoff could answer. “Ryder,” according to his nametag. But Kristoff’s was wrong… so who knew if that was his name. He smiled. “Hi! You must be Ann—oof!”

Kristoff elbowed him quickly. “12-ounce, s’mores latte. Write it on my tab,” he said swiftly before turning his attention back to her. “And yes. We can stay here, if you’d like?”

Anna nodded quickly, trying not to seem too eager. Smiling, he took off his vest before shooting a glare towards Ryder who just smirked far too smugly. Kristoff ruffled his blonde locks. “I’ll be right back. You can find a table? O-Or it doesn’t have to be a table, obviously, can be one of the couches if that’d make you more comfortable. Or downstairs, or the—”

Ryder cleared his throat.

Cheeks flushing, Kristoff’s mouth snapped shut. “I’ll find you.” He retreated to a back room.

Anna tapped the cup in her hand and took a step back.

“Nice to meet you, Anna,” the barista grinned.

She giggled at that, giving him a curt nod. “Ryder?”

He nodded as customers began to trickle in as the bell chimed.

Anna found a table nestled in the back of the coffee shop. A habit she’d come to develop since her treatments began. The less noticeable she was, the less stares she got. Kristoff easily found her, though, pulling out the seat across from her on the table.

“I’m guessing you can’t be here long?” he asked.

She was confused by that. “What?” she tilted her head, a puzzled look etched along her face.

He gestured towards the coffee with his head. “The coffee. For Elsa. It’ll get cold if you stay here too long.”

Anna sucked in a breath at that. “Oh! Right! Um. No. I don’t have to leave. Cold coffee has never really bothered her, anyway. S-She could always warm it back up if she wanted to. In the, uh, microwave?”

A smirk twitched along his lips. “Okay… If you say so. I would suggest pouring it into a mug before doing that.”

Nodding quickly, Anna agreed. “Right.”

Why was she like this!? She never… well, she’d always been awkward. But with Hans she’d never felt this? It was exciting and new with him since she’d never had a guy look her way before. With Kristoff, however, her heart pounded, words tumbled from her mouth before she could rationally think about it.

How much was of it was Kristoff? How much of it was chemo brain?

She didn’t know.

There it was again. That look he gave her as if he was waiting for her to speak. But instead of thinking she blurted out: “So, what do you do?”

Blinking, he bit back a smile, obviously trying not to laugh as Anna let out a mortified groan and plopped her head on the table. “Don’t answer that,” she muttered.

He did anyway. “I make coffee sometimes.”

Scoffing, more at her stupid question than him, she dared to look up at him. “You don’t say?”

Kristoff hid a chuckle behind his hand. “I’m in doing on the job training for construction on the weekends,” he told her. “I enrolled in some classes over at East too. That’s what else I do.”

Anna perked at that. She could talk about that. “I went to East… before.”

She didn’t need to elaborate. He seemed to understand as he nodded. “What’d you study?”

“English.”

He grimaced with a hiss.

“Hey, it’s not that bad, really. I planned to go to uni and study British Literature, but ya know, life had other plans,” she said with a shrug.

Kristoff hummed in agreement. “Yeah, it tends to throw curveballs, but it’s how you deal with it that matters, right?”

Brows raising, she was a bit shocked at his words. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“Sooo… tell me, what about you? Do you do anything?”

Anna shook her head. “I can’t work right now, and I’ve never had a job before.”

He seemed confused at that. “What? You’ve never had a job? How old are you?”

“I’m twenty-one,” she replied before giving him a look. “What about you? How old are you?”

“Twenty-four.”

She gaped. “What? You’re the same age as Elsa.”

“Wait, really? Did you both grow up here?”

Anna cocked a brow but nodded. “Yes, we did.”

Kristoff humphed, clearly confused as he leaned onto his palm. “I never saw Elsa in any classes in high school. Did you go to academy?”

“Oh! Elsa was homeschooled. And I enrolled at the academy sophomore year.”

“Aah, that explains it. A prep-school girl, huh?” he teased.

Anna had heard that there was reputation for those that went to the private school in the town. Mostly that they were snobby rich kids. Which—well—it wasn’t wrong. She had dated a snobby rich boy. For far too long.

She leaned onto the table with her, resting her chin on her palms. “Got a problem with academy kids, Kristoff?”

He barked a laugh at that. “I graduated five years ago. That is not something I worry over anymore.”

Anna hummed teasingly. “Sounds like you’re still a little bitter,” she chimed, touching her fingers together.

“Because your rich parents could send you to the uppity school? Nah.”

He didn’t know. She knew he didn’t know. But it didn’t stop the words from panging in her chest just a little. “My parents actually passed away. That’s—uh—that’s why I ended up enrolled in school in the first place.”

The panic that set in his eyes made her feel worse for telling him. “Oh, God. Anna—I’m so sorry. I-I didn’t mean—I tend to put my foot in my mouth a lot so if I ever just—I’ll shut up.”

His hands were clenched on the table, knuckles turning white as he gazed down at his lap. He was so mortified, and it was written all over his face. Daring, she reached out and placed her frail fingers over the back of his palm. She smiled when he glanced up at her.

“It’s okay. It’s—It’s one of the curveballs you talked about, right?”

He released a breath, shaking his head. “God, Anna. What have you been through?”

A sour laugh left her lips at that. “More than I could begin to describe.”

Kristoff shot a glance at where her tiny fingers were touching his. She almost pulled away when he placed his other hand over hers, trapping her hand there. “Anytime you need to talk, I’m all ears. I know what difference it can make to have someone to listen.”

Anna felt her cheeks heat. “I-I… Wow. Th-Thank you. That’s so nice of you. You’re—wow. You’re really nice.”

Shaking his head, he shied away from her. Anna almost frowned at the loss of skin contact but tried not to react. “I’m not,” he chuckled. “I used to be kind of a jerk. I always—I dunno. I used to really hate being around people.”

“Sounds like you have some stuff to talk about too.”

He snorted. “Maybe, but we’ll save that for another day.”

“We will?”

“I-I mean—” he cleared his throat, suddenly finding the creamer on the table much more interesting than her face. “I-If you want to, of course. We could t-talk again. H-Hang out again?”

Anna smiled at that. “Sure, I’d like that.”

She watched as he swallowed thickly. “Could I have your number…?”

Nodding quickly, she pulled her phone from her pocket as he did the same. Exchanging phones, they put one another’s numbers in the devices. She noticed that he had actual pictures of people in his phone. People still did that…? She looked up nervously from his phone. “U-Um… could the picture part wait?”

His brows pinched slightly. “Uh, sure. Is something wrong?”

“Well, I hate to state the obvious, but I’m bald.”

“Oh, really? I thought you just really liked hats.”

“Kristoff.”

He barked a laugh as he plucked his phone from her fingers. “Yes, the picture can wait until you have hair, if that makes you feel better.”

Anna smirked as he slid her phone back to her across the table. “Thank you.”

He stood from his seat. “I… I really enjoyed talking to you, Anna. Unfortunately,” he checked the time on his phone, looking at her with an apologetic frown. “I’ve been here for over six hours, and my dog will tear my house apart if I stay too much longer.”

God… he looked even taller when she was sitting. Anna stood to join him in an instant but regretted the action immediately when the world spun around her. She blinked, swaying a bit but trying to play off the reaction. She must’ve not hidden her distress well since Kristoff grabbed her upper arm to steady her. If she hadn’t been so woozy, she may have blushed or taken notice of how his hand swallowed her bicep as if she were a toothpick. That was for another day, another time.

“Are you okay?” he asked, tilting to see her face.

Squeezing her eyes, she silently willed the dizzy spell to stop. She tried to wave him off, tried to pretend nothing was wrong. This happened sometimes. It wasn’t something new. But in front of someone else…? In front of someone she really thought she may have a chance with? Out in public? That was new. And she hated it.

Anna groaned, grabbing her head.

“Anna, hey, when was your last treatment?”

“Today…” she managed to answer. “Few hours ago.”

His jaw dropped. “And you came here? You didn’t go home?”

Anna couldn’t tell him the truth. Couldn’t dare to admit that she’d come to see him. Swallowing, she grimaced with a shrug. “Uh, Elsa wanted her coffee.”

Kristoff gave her a look before shaking his head and cracking a small smile. “Right… Why don’t you sit back down?”

“No, no. I’m fine. You have to get ho—” Anna retched, bending at the waist as the granola she’d eaten earlier was suddenly in bits on the floor. Bile burned her throat, the taste sour in her mouth. She coughed more, vaguely hearing Kristoff call for his coworker. The world was a blur, she didn’t know how she ended up sat back in the chair, bent over a small, plastic garbage can.

Was the feeling of his palm running along her arm real? She couldn’t be sure. Her body trembled as she emptied whatever contents were left in her stomach into the trash. Her throat ached, eyes watered both from the puking and the humiliation of it all. She’d be lucky if Kristoff ever spoke to her again after this.

“I’ll be right back,” he’d told her as his warmth left her.

She bobbed her head, hugging herself and running tremoring fingers over her arms. People were looking at her now. The “poor you” stare even worse than normal. This sucked. Anna just wanted to live normally for once. Hang out with a guy that was cute… then she blew it. Literally. All over his shoes. Her bottom lip wobbled as she held in fresh tears that threatened to fall.

When she looked up, Kristoff had a mop. Anna watched in a stunned silence as she cleaned up this mess she had created. He’d apparently wiped off his shoes since they were free of any bile. Tears slipped out, then. He noticed.

Offering her a warm smile, he shook his head. “Hey, hey. You’re okay. You’re not the first person to puke in here,” he spoke lightly. “It’s usually coffee which—smells much worse.” Kristoff scrunched his nose.

She listened. His reassuring voice making her heart swell just a little. Anna wasn’t sure if him being so nice to her helped or just made her more emotional. He was meticulous with his mopping before taking the bucket towards the back room. He returned, and after he placed a wet floor sign in the area, he squatted in front of her.

“Do you need a ride home?”

Anna scoffed at him. “Really? You’re not afraid I may puke in your car?”

He shrugged. “So what?”

“You… You are something else.”

 She agreed to the ride, though.

                                                     o~o~o~o

 Kristoff’s jaw dropped when they pulled up to the mansion in his pick-up. “Holy shit, Anna. This is where you live?”

With a little laugh, she shrugged. “Yeah?”

Elsa was out the door. “Anna!” her sister enveloped her in her arms before she was barely out of the truck. “God, you scared me! I thought you had collapsed in the street! Where—” It was then her sister looked past her and saw that it wasn’t a kind stranger that gave Anna a ride home like she’d insinuated via text.

Anna held up the latte. “I got you your latte!” she practically shouted.

Her sister squinted at her, taking the coffee. “This is cold,” she muttered with a frown.  

“It’s fine.”

Kristoff was walking around the truck to join them, letting out an impressed whistle. “Wow.” He turned to the girls, offering the elder sister a smile. “Nice to see you again, Elsa.”

Elsa smiled politely with a nod. “Likewise, Kristoff. Thank you for bringing Anna home. I’m sorry if she caused you any trouble,” her voice was stern in the last bit of the sentence, glowering at Anna.

He waved, shaking his head. “No, no!”

“He’s lying. I puked in the coffee shop.”

Elsa gaped. “Anna. You know better than to exert yourself after chemo.”

“I know, I know,” Anna sighed as her sister fretted over her.

“U-Um,” Kristoff started, gaining the attention of both sisters. “I really have to go,” he awkwardly gestured to his truck with his thumbs. “My dog… I don’t even want to know what he’s done to my house.”

Anna stepped towards him. “I’ll pay for anything he’s destroyed. Promise.”

Shaking his head, he looked at her in almost disbelief. “That’s totally unnecessary. I enjoyed getting to talk to you today. If anything, it’s my fault for keeping you so long.”

Kristoff jumped in his truck, rolling down the passenger side window. “I’ll—uh—I’ll text you?”

She bobbed her chin quickly. “Y-Yeah! T-Thanks again, Kristoff. For—For everything today.”

He smiled at that, giving a quick wave as he rolled the window up.

Anna stayed on the front steps of the mansion, watching as he backed out and drove away. Her hands gripped her chest as she felt like she could just collapse in a melted heap.

Elsa’s hand plopped on her shoulder. “You puked in the coffee shop?”

“Don’t patronize me.”

She laughed at that before taking her sister’s hand and tugging her inside.

Anna flopped on the couch, letting out a huff of air, her cheeks puffing out.  “I’ll be lucky if Kristoff ever wants to talk to me after this,” she groaned, smacking her palms over her eyes.

“Well, he did bring you home.”

“He wasn’t going to leave a girl with cancer who just puked on his shoes out to dry in the coffee shop. It doesn’t mean he still wants to talk to me, Elsa. I totally messed this up.”

Elsa hummed, tapping a comforting hand on Anna’s thigh. “I think you’re overreacting just a little.”

“Elsa, this is literally the end of the world, I don’t know how else I should react.”

Her sister laughed. “Uh huh.”

Anna pouted in her self-sorrows for a few minutes as Elsa affectionately rubbed her palm along her scalp. They hadn’t gotten to share moments like this as they grew up. It was nice to have it now. Elsa never got to help her little sister through boy troubles, even though it wasn’t the elder sister’s area of expertise. Hans was aggressive. Just suddenly in her life, then suddenly out. Elsa couldn’t stand him, had told Anna as much, but the younger sister wanted someone to love her. And that was that.

She felt like a silly teenager after the whole incident. It was like one of those humiliating moments in teen drama movies. Anna suddenly understood the overwhelming dread one felt when put in such a situation.

When her phone pinged, she nearly jumped out of her skin.

  Kristoff: would you like to grab lunch with me sometime?

 She sat up so fast she nearly threw her equilibrium off again. “Elsa!”

Elsa took the phone, grinning at the message before shoving the phone back into Anna’s hand. “You’re going to say ‘yes,’ right?”

Anna nodded quickly typing out the quick reply. “I don’t sound desperate, do I?”

“Anna.”

“No. You’re right. Just say yes.”

 Anna went to bed smiling like an idiot. She tossed and turned in her bed… before burying her face in the pillow and squealing.

[sweetlikemxndy]

October 2018

Amanda was the kind of person that was always in tune with her body, her chosen career path demanded that. Ignoring symptoms was something she never did, because the moment she started would be the moment something earth shattering would happen. However, she never realized that her being over cautious could yield the same result.

She'd felt off for what seemed like weeks, flu like body aches plaguing her to the point that she couldn't hardly get out of bed. No matter how much she slept, she never felt refreshed. The raven haired woman was in a seemingly permanent state of exhaustion. This prompted her to visit her doctor, and her hands clenched tightly to the arms of the rock hard waiting room chair. Her mind was racing a million miles a minute, and she almost didn't hear her name being called out. "Leon, Amanda?" A perky young blonde called out, her eyes scanning the waiting patients as Mandy stood up. Mandy followed the young woman behind a pass coded door, behind it where many small rooms with exam tables and air that smelled heavily of disinfectant. She took vitals, and parked Mandy in one of the empty rooms. The smile never left her face as she keyed some things into a computer to the side of the small room, while Mandy sat down on the dreaded table."Doctor Gotcher will be with you in a few minutes, you hang tight okay?"

"Got it." The New Yorker said, forcing a smile in return. She couldn't fault the woman for having a good bedside manner, but anxiety was getting the better of her. The simple act of sitting down had her joints screaming, and her muscles already felt weak from the intensive workouts and training she'd been putting in. Never, in the years since she set foot in a wrestling ring had her body felt as bad as it had recently. The doctor came in to ask a whole bunch of questions, drilling her up and down about her symptoms, medical history and work. He exhausted all topics, typing away on the computer as he did. After checking her lymph nodes, bending her limbs at the joints, and testing her range of movement he sat down and looked Mandy in her eyes.

"You seem healthy so far as I can tell, physically anyway. So, our next course of action is going to be lab work. I don't think its the flu, because you're not exhibiting any of the grossness that entails." He paused, clearing his throat and pushing his glasses back up his nose. "We'll run a flu test, just to be on the safe side... but I'm going to put you in for a full blood panel as well. Check antinuclear antibodies with an ANA, check white and red blood cell counts, just to be on the safe side. The lab will get back to you within a couple days, and they'll call you if it's something we need to get you back in for." Doctor Gotcher smiled, the middle aged brunette man sending her on her way with a referral to the lab, and what would hopefully be a resolution to her problems.

The lab had called just two days later, and she was then sent on her way with more referrals, and more questions that needed to be answered.

Present day

It was rapidly approaching a year since that fated day, the day that would change Mandy's life forever. Her ANA had come back positive, which meant she had an auto immune disease of some kind. She had been bounced from specialist to specialist, each of them analyzing her symptoms trying to determine what label to slap on her ailment. Fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome where thrown out there, but the final prognosis was something that Mandy feared from the moment the she started researching.

Systemic lupus erythematosus (Lupus for short)

Her Rheumatologist, Doctor Halsey sat in front of her now, and very bitter man that was surely close to retirement. His thinning grey hair was always immaculate, and seemed to accentuate the permanent scowl he sported. Mandy despised him, but he knew his stuff and was the one that finally cracked the code. "It's safe to assume that so far, the disease is only affecting your joints and muscles. However," he paused, looking over some of his notes from previous visits. "...I'm concerned that it may eventually move on to your other organs, as things progress. Since you've started seeing me, we've seen you develop the butterfly rash and sensitivity to sunlight. Are the steroid treatments still working well?" He questioned, looking up at her over the rim of his thin, wire framed glasses.

"For the most part." Mandy stated, clearing her throat and pulling her fingers through the ends of her hair. "They probably would be helping even more, if it wasn't for all the training I've been doing recent-" She was cut off by a scoff, Doctor Halsey shaking his head. His tone was sharp and almost venomous as he spoke, like an angry person engaged in a heated argument. "You're not still wrestling, are you Amanda? We have this conversation every time we're here... you'll never be out of pain, you'll probably end up having to take many more prescriptions than you already are if you continue this. Not to mention, your muscles and joints are already compromised, making you more susceptible to injury. What if your cells start attacking your organs, and your kidneys become damaged? Or worse yet, your lungs... your heart." He started to speak again, but this time Mandy stood up and put her hand up in an effort to silence him. Her smile was as sweet as candy when she saw his eyes get wider, though her tone implied that she was over taking his bullshit lecture.

"Let me tell you something, Doc. Not everyone gets the chance to do what they love in life. Not everyone gets the chance to live their dreams. You sitting here, trying to tell me that this disease should dictate whether or not I make my goals reality is disgustin’!" Her words where sharp, almost cutting like a knife. "So what if I'm more prone to injuries? That just means I have to be more careful! So what if I'm so tired, and in so much pain that I can't get out of bed? Tomorrow's another fuckin’ day!" She was heated at this point, shoving her purse strap up onto her shoulder and inching towards the door. She could hear voices on the other side, and instantly knew she had gotten loud enough to make a scene. " If my career is half the length of everyone else's, and I end up an immobile fifty year old that can no longer walk... then so be it. At least I'll look back on my life and be glad I fuckin' did something with it. It's totally cool if you're not goin' to support me in that, and refuse to treat me. That's okay. I'll find somebody who will. " With that, the New Yorker yanked the door open and pushed through the gaggle of nurses and other staff members that had gathered outside. This was just another obstacle on her way to success, and she'd be damned if she let the fact that her body was essentially attacking itself keep her from reaching the pinnacle. She'd busted her ass for too long to let anything stand in her way now, and lupus was no different. She'd have to fight ten times harder than anyone else, and she wouldn't stop until she reached the top... if for no other reason than to shut the naysayers up.

[ayalaatreides]

Episode 21 Feels Hit Me Hard

And so all of you must suffer along with me! I was talking about this with @emerald-dewdrop who suggested I make it into a post, so here I go! This is the first meta I’ve written in ages, and this is also the first anime episode in months that made me teary-eyed, so... props to Nanbaka for overcoming that depression for a little bit??? Damn! ANYWAY. This bit fucking killed me in episode 21. (I was gonna screenshot it, but... takes too long, man. I’m just gonna quote it instead.)

Qi: You’ve gotta at least take care of yourself. [...] Upa: You never even do anything! Why is it only at times like these that you do stuff without telling us?! It was the same on the day you betrayed Hachiman. Did you think you could do anything by yourself? [...] Don’t you tell me to take care of myself. You don’t have the right to say that! [...] Nobody asked you to do that. You only ever think about yourself. 

OH MY GOD. Just... stab me in the heart. Upa resents Qi for making such a major sacrifice on his behalf and it explains so much and it’s so devastating!!! I mean, the resentment is obvious, but like... consider it. I mean, Upa is definitely the kind of person who hates feeling indebted. Especially since he spent an unknown portion of his formative years in the damn Mafia, where I’m sure that being indebted to someone means they essentially own you. And the bigger the favor they give you, the bigger the favor they’re gonna call in someday, the longer they’re gonna own your ass. And donating your organs to save someone’s life... that’s pretty much the biggest favor you could do for someone. I can see Upa waiting with dread for Qi to cash in on that favor, wondering when it would happen, what it would be, and how large of a toll he’d have to pay for the help he was given.

And what’s worse, it was a favor Upa didn’t ask for. I don’t know who told Upa where those organs came from, but it probably wasn’t Qi. I’d guess it was that doctor in the flashbacks, or maybe Hachiman told Upa out of spite, knowing how it’d fuck with his head. From Upa’s viewpoint, when he woke up and found out, it must’ve felt like he was forced into owing his life to this guy.

Of course, obviously Qi didn’t donate his organs so he could hold it over Upa’s head. He clearly didn’t do it to put a small child in his debt. He did it because he felt bad for this poor child, abducted and cut apart for profit. But I’m sure Upa wouldn’t have believed that even if Qi told him so. Poor Upa probably spent a lot of time watching Qi suspiciously, waiting for that other shoe to drop, either not realizing or not accepting that Qi is never going to call that favor in because that’s not why he did it.

BUT WAIT!! IT GETS WORSE!!! You thought the suffering was over, huh? NOT YET!!!! This part’s purely speculation, but: there are organs (and parts of organs) that you can live without, although it’ll still impact your health. If there were no other organ donors available, it’s entirely possible that Qi never got a replacement for whatever it was he donated to Upa. What if that’s why he’s always so lazy??? Again, this is entirely speculation, he could just be a lazy shit. But it’s 100% plausible. Chronic pain or fatigue from losing the organ(s) that they took. Imagine how Upa would feel, every time Qi complains that he’s tired or makes excuses to get out of training. Every time is a reminder of what Qi did. Imagine Upa wondering in the back of his head if Qi’s doing it intentionally to remind him of what he sacrificed on Upa’s behalf. THINK OF HOW BADLY THAT’D SCREW WITH UPA’S HEAD.

And let’s not even get started on the likelihood that Qi knew that Upa resented him for donating his organs, or at least that Upa resented him for something, and he’s still been silently protecting these two kids who think he’s trash because he wants to see them move on from their fucked up past and live healthy, happy lives???? I FUCKING CAN’T WITH THSE GUYS OH MG GOD.

But eventually, as more and more time passes without Qi ever calling in Upa’s “debt”, Upa would have to start wondering whether he’s right or not. Did Qi help Upa to put him in his debt, or didn’t he? The uncertainty would be agonizing for an untrusting kid like him. But then episode 21 happens and Upa has to confront the reality that Qi actually gives a shit about him. I haven’t read the manga yet so I don’t know what the effects of this episode will be for the B5 trio, but THIS EPISODE WRECKED MEEEEE. In conclusion: I made myself sad and now all of you get to be sad with me, enjoy those feels, bye~

[ventrue-rosary]

#tumblr ask meme All the hella cute questions (or as many as you can/want) ;)

1 - 7 answered here!

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

My bf Alex. You can assume he’s on my mind 80% of the time

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Hella yes I’m awkward and shy as hell

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

My friend Zoe. She’s been an amazing friend lately (she always has been but we haven’t been friends for a while). Been there for me during some troubles 

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

‘We will in a bit since we are going to go bed soon’. In response to room-switching with my brother for a night since Alex was staying over for comic con the following day and we both wouldn’t fit in my room

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

I’ll link the youtube videos–you should listen to them!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdVtm_ewHys

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9a-EkU3YoM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0afsn_W5rk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QslJYDX3o8s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWxL8fmPpfk

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

I looooooooooooooooooooooooooooove it!

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Well luck maybe, even though I hardly get any good luck. Miracles? Not so sure

15. What good thing happened this summer?

Built my gaming PC

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Since it was Alex, yes, of course

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Definitely!!! Millions of galaxies out there and people honestly believe we are the only species ever to exist? Come off it

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

No

19. Do you like bubble baths?

Yh but I find them too time-consuming to bother with

20. Do you like your neighbors?

My neighbors on both sides are a pain in the ass, the ones on the right side moreso though. At least the left-hand ones are polite

21. What are you bad habits?

Over-thinking, being very forgetful, having to ask people to repeat something they already told me multiple times, getting sad over things that don’t matter or haven’t even happened, begging for attention, overeating or eating nothing at all

22. Where would you like to travel?

Scotland, Ireland, America, New Zealand, Italy, France, Iceland and Japan 

23. Do you have trust issues?

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO definitely 

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

All of it

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Go back to sleep, or if I have to be somewhere begrudgingly get up and think about how tired I am

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Well my skin is so pale I have trouble finding good concealer and foundation that matches, so if I could get darker to the stage I can find good makeup I’d love that

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

Probably Alex. I’m always a tad uncomfortable around people though because of my anxiety 

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

No, only had one ex and we ended on ok terms and we’d only been dating for like a day 

30. Do you ever want to get married?

I’d love to

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

Yup

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

I’d never be comfortable having a threesome

33. Spell your name with your chin.

asmnjytyt. Was supposed to say Amy. I tried 

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

Nope, not athletic and I hate sports 

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV. I don’t really watch it tbh

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Yup

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

Usually nothing I’m pretty ok with silence

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

One word: Alex

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

I like Quiggins, this alternative fashion store in my town, and Worlds Apart–the only good things about my city lol. GAME, HMV, Forbidden Planet and Primark I frequent too. Tons of other places online but we’d be here all day if I listed them

40. What do you want to do after high school?

Graduated 3 years ago

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

No. Some people are beyond forgiveness

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

I’m usually pretty quiet anyways so its just me being me

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Hell no thats weird

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Responsibilities and anxiety teaming up on me

46. What are you paranoid about?

Everything that could possibly go wrong rn 

47. Have you ever been high?

No

48. Have you ever been drunk?

No

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Don’t think so

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

All the time

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

EVERYTHING

53. Favourite makeup brand?

Don’t really wear it

54. Favourite store?

Oooooooh. Can’t decide

55. Favourite blog?

Follow too many good ones

56. Favourite colour?

Black, blue, red, white and purple

57. Favourite food? 

Pizza, pasta, cake, chocolate, cheesecake and sushi

58. Last thing you ate?

Shreddies with sugar on top

59. First thing you ate this morning?

Shreddies with sugar on to[

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Uhh on this cook-off we had on school where we had to prepare a three-course meal and my dessert won. I made green tea ice cream and everyone loved it

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

No, I kept my nose clean in school

62. Been arrested? For what?

Never

63. Ever been in love? 

Yup, and I still am

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

It was when I was 18. Had a party at my friends house to celebrate us finishing school. She lived pretty far from the rest of us so we stayed over. She lived ina  pretty big house but a lot of us had to share beds and the like. I shared one with my new boyfriend, who ad literally asked me out like three hours ago. I wanted to sleep but I think he wanted something else. We kissed, he slipped me the tongue and started pulling at my clothes. I pulled away and asked him what he was doing. He said he didn’t know. Then we just lay down and tried to sleep. He slept easily, I didn’t get any lol

65. Are you hungry right now?

No I just ate

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

I guess??

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

No

70. Names of your bestfriends? 

(^:

71. Craving something? What?

Too not be tired constantly. To know I am loved and wanted. A cat

72. What colour are your towels?

We have a wide range of colours, mostly blue though

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Two

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

I have a load by my pillow

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

7/8. Either way not enough

75. Favourite animal?

Cats, dogs, pandas, red pandas, raccoons, sugar gliders, hamsters, rabbits, japanese flying dwarf squirrels, bearded dragons, geckos, budgies, owls, harvest mice, lemmings, wolves and foxes

76. What colour is your underwear?

Black

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Chocolate fudge brownie

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Not wearing one rn

80. What colour pants?

Not wearing pants either

81. Favourite tv show?

Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, FMA, PMMM, Mob Psycho 100, Boku no Hero Academia, JoJo’s Bizarre Adventures, RWBY and One Punch Man

82. Favourite movie?

You Name, Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, Ju-On, Ringu, Repo! The Genetic Opera, Nolan’ Batman trilogy and more I can’t really remember now…

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Haven’t even seen the second one

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean Girls I guess

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

Whats with all the mean girls question? I was really never that invested in that movie lol 

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

Wouldn’t say I have one thetyy were all pretty forgettable

87. First person you talked to today?

My mum

88. Last person you talked to today?

Its only 11am 

89. Name a person you hate?

I don’t exactly hate anyone who I know directly 

90. Name a person you love?

Alex and all my friends!

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Lord Dampnut

92. In a fight with someone?

No

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

None

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

At least 8 hoodies, I think

95. Last movie you watched?

Doctor Strange

96. Favourite actress?

Don’t have one

97. Favourite actor?

Don’t have one

98. Do you tan a lot?

No I just burn

99. Have any pets?

One dog

100. How are you feeling?

Tired, a lil nauseous. Thats the norm when you live with chronic fatigue syndrome though

101. Do you type fast?

No

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

I wish I stood up for myself more, and didn’t take shit from anyone, no matter who they were

103. Can you spell well?

I know how to spell pretty well but I still make an appalling amount of typos. Thats just more to do with my garbage-tier typing skills though

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

I guess? I’m learning to live without them though

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

No but I’ve always kinda wanted to

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Don’t think so

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

No

108. What should you be doing?

Coursework

109. Is something irritating you right now?

The bm-ing bastards on hearthstone

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Yup

111. Do you have trust issues?

Haven’t I already answered this?

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My family when I went to my uncle’s funeral

113. What was your childhood nickname?

I didn’t really have one

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yup, for holidays

115. Do you play the Wii?

Used to

116. Are you listening to music right now?

My fire playlist on youtube. Mostly weeby shit

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Its aight

118. Do you like Chinese food?

YES119. Favourite book?

The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson, Game of Thrones, and Snickets A Series of Unfortunate Events 

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

Kinda. I think I read somwhere that every human is engineered to be wary of the dark

121. Are you mean?

No

122. Is cheating ever okay?

NO

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

I can’t even keep black shoes clean so probs not

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

No

125. Do you believe in true love?

Yes

126. Are you currently bored?

Not really. I have enough to keep me occupied

127. What makes you happy?

Cute animals, video games, music, good food and good company

128. Would you change your name?

Probably not

129. What your zodiac sign?

Aries

130. Do you like subway?

Yes

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Idk. Try to be respectful of their feelings and try not to alienate them or make them feel weird

 132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Again this question has been repeated

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

I was raised in a deep dark hole,

A prisoner with no parole.

They locked me up and took my soul

(Ashamed of what they made)

134. Can you count to one million?

Yes but I’m not going to. What a complete waste of time

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

Idk I say a lot of dumb shit

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Closed

137. How tall are you?

5′9″

138. Curly or Straight hair?

I have wavy hair but I usually straighten it. I prefer curly hair though, I just can’t get my hair to cooperate

139. Brunette or Blonde?

Brunette

140. Summer or Winter?

Winter I guess

141. Night or Day?

Night

142. Favourite month?

October

143. Are you a vegetarian?

No

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Gotta be milk

145. Tea or Coffee?

Tea

146. Was today a good day?

Its only started!

147. Mars or Snickers?

Snickers. I do love me some nuts

148. What’s your favourite quote?

Don’t have one

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Yes. After the weird shit from last year, yes.

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?  (via tchitsnathan)

I actually moved all my books downstairs and I’m too lazy to go get one -__-