#so… we’re not on the right path currently. but I’m going to hope that April will give me insight on what I need to do and how to heal | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

elsanna-shenanigans · 3 years

Text

April Contest Submission #9: Shocking Confessions

Words: ca. 5,000 Setting: Modern AU with powers Lemon: No CW: Kinda angst, hospitals, anxiety

Soft gentle hands gently tug at the fashioned twin braids of Anna’s hair, slowly turning them into a frizzy mess. For how cold her sister often was, the kiss was hot, passionate. All her deepest desires all poured into one place. For several minutes, it felt like they were both lost in the empty blackness of space, holding tight to each other so they wouldn’t drift apart again. Then something starts to build within the nerves of Anna’s being. Something searing hot that burned through her blood and brought tears to her eyes.

Her body jolts with the electric currents, waking her from this trance. Anna’s head slams into the metal machinery above her head, the only conductor this electricity needed to infect everything else. As she shouts her pain and falls back to the base of this machine, the power and lights flicker, then go out completely. Heart beating extremely fast after the dream she just had, Anna stares at the screen above her head. A dim blue light shone on it, produced from her own eyes.

“Anna?! Anna, are you alright?!” Elsa’s voice broke the silence in this small room just as her flashlight pierced the darkness. Momentary relief washes over Anna, before remembering why she was here. What would she say to them? Dreams like that were meant to stay out of this place and in her own bed only, but it wasn’t like she could control it. Continuing to lie about them would make so many dents in the progress they were trying to make. Controlling these abilities used to be so much easier…

“Y- yeah, I’m okay.” She could hear the sigh of relief from Elsa.

“Thank god. You shorted out all the power in the hospital again. At least this time they know how to get it back online quicker. You’re still going to have to crawl out from inside there.” With a dismayed sigh of her own, Anna carefully rolls herself over onto her stomach so she could try pulling herself through the small gap at the end of the cylindrical machine. Just like last time, Elsa was there to catch her arms and pull her out. This time though, the blonde holds Anna tight in a hug. She could feel the older woman’s heartbeat going very fast.

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to.”

“I know, baby…” A pale gentle hand strokes the back of Anna’s head, which normally would’ve been a soothing gesture for her had the dream not happened. Not wanting the flashbacks for fear of accidentally shocking her sister, she pushes herself away. “What is it? What made this happen again?”

“Just another nightmare.”

“Anna, you know you can’t be that vague. We need to know what’s haunting your mind. We need to know why your powers are responding to it like they are! It’s for your, and everyone else’s, safety. That’s why we’re doing this in the first place, remember?” Desperately searching on loose strings for an excuse, Anna holds her arms tight over her chest, hoping that the constriction would calm her down.

“I- I just need a moment, okay?” Her anxiety was plain as day in her voice. Elsa once again reaches towards her with her free hand, but Anna flinches away. In seeing the hurt on her sister’s face from the motion, the ginger gives a defeated sigh and moves into the careful embrace. This time, Elsa wouldn’t make any rash movements, just hold the girl.

“Fine, but you have to tell me within the hour, otherwise I know you’ll forget.” An hour was probably enough time to think of something, but Anna wanted so bad to confess. This secret had dragged her down for about a couple years, wasting too much research and money. She knew Elsa was terribly worried for her, too. It was just… a terrifying subject to bring up. There was no way to know how her sister would respond to it. “Anna?”

“Yeah, I will, I promise. Can we… go to the place?” Elsa seems a bit hesitant to reply, but does so just as the lights flicker on again.

“Yes, just as soon as we get the results.” The machine behind Anna starts to whirr back to life and Elsa quickly leans forward to turn it off. She was one of the employees here at the hospital, and the reason they were able to afford this kind of thing in the first place. It was a different kind of place than you’d normally imagine a hospital to be, but it still helped people. It just specialized in helping a certain strange kind of people. A long slip of paper buzzes out from a slot in the machine that Elsa takes and looks over while Anna continues hugging the taller woman. When the only response to her findings was a hum, the ginger curiously tries to look at the slip of paper, only for Elsa to raise it above her eye level. “Looks like you’ve started sleep talking now, too.”

“Wait what?!” Panicking over this idea, Anna reaches up to grab the slip and pull it out of Elsa’s grasp. However, all that was on it was her heart rate over the course of time she was asleep and other squiggle lines she didn’t understand the meaning of.

“Hey!” Elsa takes it back with a glare.

“Sleep talking? How could you tell? All that shows is my heart rate.”

“You think I don’t know that? There’s a microphone on the machine. There used to be a soundproof sealing on the end in case the patient would scream during testing. Of course, we would immediately shut down the test, but we couldn’t have screams echoing down the hallway.”

“Oh. How come it’s gone?” Elsa finally turns off her flashlight and clips it to her bluejeans, her gaze still looking at the piece of paper more so to likely avoid looking at Anna.

“Well, with the fear of power outages, we found it would be too easy for patients to get stuck and suffocate. For those who need the containment, they have backup generators in their rooms, but you don’t require such concealment.” Guilt crawls into Anna’s chest, ruining any appetite she had. She couldn’t keep doing this. It was harming others needlessly, not to mention costing the building far more money for the generators. Today, she had to tell her sister what was really going on, no matter the suffering she would have to endure. A lifelong friendship with her big sister ruined by a single sentence.

“I’m sorry.” Folding the paper and stuffing it into her pocket, Elsa reaches down and takes Anna’s hand.

“It isn’t your fault, Anna. We can only blame our parents for not letting you get the help you needed. Besides, the weather can be unpredictable sometimes.”

“But I was doing so well with them! Until… Until…” With her other hand, Anna wipes away the tears trying to glaze her eyes. “They didn’t want people to experiment on me.”

“No one is experimenting on you!” It sounds like it takes a lot for Elsa to say that without a growl. Anna should’ve known better than to bring up something their parents and Elsa argued about so often. “We are observing and working on finding solutions for the problem.”

“Right..” She almost apologized again, but restrained from doing so, so Elsa wouldn’t feel worse about yelling than Anna already knew she did. The blonde’s arm wraps around Anna’s shoulders as she leads her to the door and out into the bright white hallway. This place had the makings of an asylum, with the twist of actually helping people get better and letting them leave. Some patients just took a little longer than others and had no family or home to go back to, so they stayed, but Anna has Elsa.

“Hey, I have something for you.” After getting into the car, Anna curiously looks over to Elsa, who held up a KitKat bar. Instantly, a smile grew over Anna’s face, always taken by the candy bar. When Anna takes and unwraps it, she breaks off the two pieces from each other and offers the other one to her big sister, just like always. It was like a short little break they could share together despite the trials of this stressful everyday life. The break was less the candybar and more being able to take a small moment with Elsa. Without disappointment, Elsa accepts the other half and bites into it before starting the car. Somehow, the blonde never failed to have one after every stressful occasion. Even on the day of their parent’s unexpected demise, they shared the solemn binding treat. Anna knew that Elsa suspected their death was the reason Anna kept having nightmares, but that obviously couldn’t be true. However, after that day, the two had become more inseparable. When they didn’t have to be away from each other, they did everything together. So, in a way, their parent’s death was definitely a contributing factor. Because Elsa had a financially stable career and Anna had just become an adult, the ginger had moved in with her sister, with only one requirement: that Anna had to forgo observation over her abilities.

A half hour later into their drive and they had finally made it to the river trail that Anna loved so much. There was something about how the air just felt much more peaceful and crisp to her senses. Maybe it was just because she had been cramped in a tiny space and a tiny room for so long, but the freedom was amazing. Despite the warm summer weather, they found no one on the trail as they trekked through the dirt path. Not that Anna would mind. As long as she had her sister, she would always be perfectly content, even if the blonde was a little overprotective and made her at least wear a jacket against the sun’s rays. Sure, she thought about maybe getting friends outside of family, even a girlfriend to try and rid herself of the romantic lust she held for her sister, but no one was worth her time the same way. Friends after school just didn’t seem to stick to her. Besides, she wanted to believe Elsa needed her just as much as Anna felt she needed Elsa.

The river was loud as they approached, rushing against its rocky bank. A large stretch of grass separated the trees from the water, bathed in warm sunlight that looked more than welcoming to sit in. So, they did. It was a wonder why such a loud spot would be so calming, but Anna liked to listen to it like music. Just another way to drown out the nervous thoughts in her head. Elsa said she enjoyed sitting near it as well, but she always wore such a sad expression whenever they did. Today was no different. Her big sister watched the water with a glassy blue gaze, somehow still stunning when looking so depressed.

“Elsa?”

“Hm?”

“I think I’m ready to tell you.” Anna’s gut twisted with her anxiety and guilt, only getting worse when Elsa looks up at her. Now that she had the blonde’s undivided attention, her voice seemed to die in her throat.

“Take your time. Don’t forget to breathe. In three, out four.” Nodding, Anna takes a deep breath and then slowly lets it out. This wasn’t the first time she tried to tell Elsa the truth. Except, every other time, she chickened out and went with the most believable excuse she could come up with.

“It’s you,” she quickly confesses. So quickly, in fact, that Elsa doesn’t react for another few moments.

“What?”

“You.”

“Me? What about me?” Elsa seemed completely confused, which was to be expected.

“Would it make more sense to say it wasn’t actually a nightmare?”

“Oh… Oh!!” The blonde exclaims, her eyes wide with what could have been surprise, but looked more like the face of someone who found the answer to an impossible puzzle. Slowly, she reaches into her pocket to retrieve the slip of paper. “Wait…” Squinting as she stares, Elsa’s face gave away that she was trying really hard to think of something to say, probably a scientific explanation to try and resolve any awkwardness. “Well, if this is the first time it has happened, then it obviously doesn’t really mean anything, so-”

“It isn’t.” Anna cuts off, her teeth buried into her lip while she fidgets with her hands. Afraid of what she might see, her gaze avoids Elsa’s. The silence that followed was due to Anna being too ashamed to explain any further and Elsa searching for the right thing to respond with. What the hell would be the right thing to say in this scenario? Was this it? Were they going to forget about the whole thing and stop the tests? Write it off as insignificant and keep living their lives? That had to be the best case scenario. The worst would be Elsa separating herself from Anna in order to try and help her.

“Why?” Was not the answer she expected. Perhaps the one she should have though. For the first time in a really long time, Elsa’s powers finally show itself. Ice creeps along the grass from under the blonde’s hand on the ground, the other still holding the slip of paper very tightly. Worry and dismay grows in Anna’s chest, afraid this was a huge mistake. There was no taking it back now.

“I… Elsa, why would I know? Do you think I would have asked for these feelings?”

“I was asking about the dreams, but uh.. now it’s a pretty clear answer.” Face flushing in embarrassment, Anna shoots a glare at her sister, only to get a nervous kind smile in return. Elsa’s smile made it practically impossible to be mad at her, but if Anna wasn’t going to be mad, she could feel the sadness creeping into her eyes. A hopeless sensation that started happening that night when they got the call. Likely depression, but Anna refused to let her sister take her to get any real diagnosis. To her, medication wasn’t a solution, and therapy would only keep her away from Elsa longer- who she viewed to be the only form of medicine needed. She could tell Elsa carried something from that night as well. Elsa would hesitate to pick up her cellphone when it rang every time, very unlike the quick precise person she was. At work, she made no such hesitation. “So, how long have you been lying to me, Anna?” The question pulls Anna back to reality, where she was sitting here in the middle of the forest confessing to her big sister. Oh god, what had she been thinking…

“I prefer to call it ‘strategically avoiding an awkward conversation’. Lying to you sounds bad.”

“Anna, I’ve been so worried about you. I thought things were haunting you.”

“Things are haunting me! Sort of. Just… not monstrous things. More like illegal things, like tax evasion.” Elsa had the audacity to laugh.

“Incestuous feelings, you mean.” When Anna refuses to look at Elsa again, she brings herself closer to the ginger and wraps an arm around her. Anna groans and drops her head in her hands, leaving Elsa to semi-awkwardly rub her back with a hand. “Just out of curiosity, when did these… uhm.. When did this start?”

“Mhh hard to say,” she lies, her face feeling very hot from embarrassment. “Maybe 2 years ago.”

“2 years ago?! Anna, what the fuck?!”

“I thought it would go away! You know, like a normal crush!” It was unlike Elsa to swear, but maybe this situation could warrant nothing other than profanities. “Does it even matter? Like- truly? I’m practically over it anyways, which is why I decided to tell you now.”

“Oh really? Does someone who’s over said crush have such…” Elsa seems to wrestle with the words for a moment before choking them out, “intense dreams that end up wiping out all power in that large ass facility? You must have been feeling something! If it wasn’t fear then it had to have been…” she trails off, suddenly feeling too embarrassed herself now to say it.

“Would you believe me if I said yes?”

“No!”

“Oh, so just cause you’re a scientist, you suddenly know everything about emotions?” Anna watches Elsa now, whose face was a mix of panic and something else.

“Well, I don’t know everything, but I have a decent idea about the chemicals and reasons for certain reactions.” Rolling her eyes, Anna scoffs at her sister’s claim. Of course, always with the logic with her. Unfortunately for the scientist, Anna wasn’t willing to reason with her logic, or the chemicals she claimed.

“If that’s true, why don’t you explain this then?”

“Explain what, specifically?”

“How on earth I’m attracted to you!”

“I would sound like a narcissist if I did…”

“Do it for your precious science.” Her glare found Elsa’s uncertain gaze, where they shared a moment of silence. Well, as much silence as you could get while near the river.

“Fine. In theory, romantic feelings could be aroused by looks or certain personality quirks. Or, all of that could go out the window when it comes to a stranger, or even someone you care about, touching you in a different way.” It seemed to make Elsa incredibly nervous to talk about this, stumbling a bit on the words and going back on them to reiterate. Anna didn’t even know why she wanted her to explain it. Maybe because her older sister seemed so confident with her reasoning and staying calm rather than actually feeling things herself, and acting rather than thinking for once. Yeah, that was probably it.

“Touching in what way?” Struggling not to smirk as she asks it, Elsa finally returns the glare.

“Not the kind you’re thinking about.”

“How do you know, smarty-pants?” Suddenly, Anna found Elsa’s hand at her waist. It stayed for merely a moment before disappearing and reappearing on Anna’s thigh instead.

“Touches like that. Certain nerves that are for the ‘lover’s interest’.” Then her hand falls back into her lap and Anna could finally let out the breath she held. However, it didn’t escape her how Elsa could have simply said these things instead of demonstrating. The ginger’s eyes now try to maintain eye contact with Elsa’s, but the blonde unfortunately seems far more interested in keeping them on the grass. “However, it’s completely determined on the relationship you share with that person or whether your brain already finds them attractive visually. As sisters, we are extremely close with each other, and neither of us go out to see many other people unless it’s at work.”

“Yeah, but you’re my sister, so this logic is complete bullshit.” Anna says, matter-of-factly.

“M-most sisters probably aren’t as close on a daily basis as we are. Among already living together, dining out together, and not already seeing other people, my coworkers have already asked if you were my girlfriend. I think not sleeping in the same bedroom and making out with each other are the only things that divide the line between us being sisters or a couple.”

“Why are you defending my feelings for you?” Suddenly taken aback by her sister’s surprisingly quickly executed rebuttal, Anna stares at Elsa with wide eyes. This was not at all what she expected this confession to be like. Though, it may still end very horribly… Knowing Elsa and how little she judged a person, she must be very conflicted. “Excuse me for a moment.” Needing a break from this conversation, Anna gets to her feet and quickly walks back towards the trees. Within the forestry, the ginger stops herself at a place she was sure she could find her way back to where she had left Elsa. The sound of the river was still very close, but muffled enough that she could think and try to calm herself down.

When hugging her arms over her chest and leaning back into a tree, Anna could feel something in her left boob pocket. It crinkled and pressed awkwardly against her chest. Slowly unwrapping her arms, she curiously reaches into the pocket to retrieve that familiar red wrapper in its technically trapezoid shape because of the candy within. Despite it basically being her comfort food, Anna never bought it for herself. The candy was just something Elsa liked to get her once being able to pay for things on her own. If she were being honest, she didn’t even like them much at first, but anything from her sister was everything to her, even at 8 years old. How had the years quickly escaped them both?

Anna easily tears the wrapper, leaving the double chocolate bars in the palm of her hand, so she could tuck the wrapper back into her denim pocket. Then, being careful not to drop either piece, she snaps the two from each other. Sure, at the moment, there was no Elsa to share it with, and the thought of enjoying both bars sounded sad, but this had clearly been put in her pocket deliberately. Elsa probably wanted Anna to eat it when she needed to think of sweet wonderful times with her big sister. Though, after confessing her romantic love for Elsa, that thought made her feel kind of ill. Regardless, she had already removed the wrapper and wasn’t about to let the candy go to waste.

“Wow. Already breaking off your KitKats without me now? Might as well make it official and move out.” At the sudden sound of Elsa’s voice, Anna jumps in surprise, almost dropping the chocolate. The older woman had apparently been summoned by the snapping of a KitKat..

“Jeez Elsa, you scared me!” Out of habit, she offers the other bar to Elsa while biting into her own. The blonde doesn’t hesitate to take it and join her sister leaning against the tree. Anna knew Elsa was just kidding about the moving out thing, but she started considering it. Not living in the same house as her sister would make her feelings easier to abolish, wouldn’t it? “Yknow, maybe I should.”

“What? Anna, I was joking.”

“I know, but I’m not.” There was a new tense kind of silence, like Elsa was holding back from saying something.

“That’s ridiculous! There’s no reason to. No, you don’t need to move out. It would just complicate everything. Unnecessary. Besides, with your financial stability right now, and the way your ability is acting up, it’s just… well, a wildly horrible decision. As your big sister, I really suggest you stop thinking about the idea altogether, e- even after you get that… financial stability.” Ah, there it was. Highly suspicious that Elsa wanted to keep her so close. Or was it? Damn, it’s so hard to know when trying to read her sister. Sometimes it was like Elsa felt the same, and other times it was like she was reading all the signals completely wrong. Such a frustrating way to live.

“No reason to? Elsa, I-”

“I know, but that doesn’t matter! I don’t want to lose you!”

“Then why did you hesitate to decide that?”

“Anna!” With an exasperated groan, Elsa pushes herself off the tree to face Anna with a furious expression. “Why are you making this so difficult for us both?”

“Because I’m afraid to admit that you’re right! Right about everything! Because this is wrong! Everything about it is wrong! I shouldn’t feel this way, but I know exactly why I do. You care about me like no one else does. You hold me like I’m the last person you ever want to let go. You know everything about me! I don’t go out to make friends, because you’re the only person I ever want to be around. You’re everything to me!” Her walls were breaking, falling apart like a KitKat bar that you’d left in your pocket for too long, thankfully unlike the one she had discovered. Before she even knew she was crying, cold fingers were gently wiping away her tears. “And here you are, keeping me close to you when I just want to make this better for you for once!” Once again, the silence carries on for several moments too long. Part of Anna wanted Elsa to finally be disgusted and tell her to be better, to get rid of these foolish feelings so she might actually be able to, but that’s not what happened. Instead, Elsa’s response was to press a very soft kiss to Anna’s forehead, and then her tear stained cheek, and finally… her quivering lips. Elsa’s hand cradles Anna’s face, her other hand resting over the one Anna had against the tree. This moment must’ve lasted for several seconds, but to Anna, it only existed for the fragment of a second. Far too short to register what was going on.

When it was over, it was almost like nothing had happened. No loud explosions or confetti. Only the loud noise of water hitting rock over and over again. Anna dazedly stares at her sister, absolutely shocked by this turn of events, despite her earlier suspicions. Elsa seemed not to know what to say either, likely worried she had made a horrible decision by the look on her face. Finally, the ginger let out her breath, a rather familiar sensation roaming her body. Was this another dream? Eager not to lose this chance, she leans towards Elsa, only for the blonde to fall away with a gasp.

“Ow!!!” Elsa stares at her hand, a burn spot on the back with light grey smoke drifting from it. Quickly, the older woman sprints back to the river, where she could submerge her burned hand under the freezing surface. Anna chases after her in a panic.

“Elsa! Oh god, I’m so sorry!” Definitely not a dream. Watching Elsa take one deep breath after the other, it was evident by the frustration on her face how badly she was trying to stop herself from cussing.

“It’s fine. I’m fine.” Elsa hisses out. “At least now we have actual answers that we can start working with. Damn it, Anna. 2 years…” Worried about her sister, but afraid to get too close to her again, Anna crouches down a foot or so away.

“I know, I know, I- Wait, are we just not going to talk about you kissing me?”

“Why would we? Didn’t seem like you minded all that much. Unless that’s the reason you zapped my hand.”

“No! No, I didn’t mean to. Why would we-?! We would talk about it, because it was absurd and illegal and amazing and… and..!” Thinking about it brought a wave of mixed feelings upon Anna, mainly of astounded confusion. Though all it brought to Elsa was another smile to watch the blush on Anna’s face grow. “Don’t laugh, this is serious!”

“I’m not laughing. I just love watching you slowly register things. Like when it took you 2 years to realize I love you, too.”

“Y- you what? I mean, of course you do. We’re sisters, of course you love me. Th- this is different.”

“Alright, I take it back. 2 years and… I’ll give this a week, because I’m generous.” Offended, Anna didn’t think twice before pushing Elsa. Of course, the blonde just had to lose her balance and fall forward into the river. The current swept her away before she could bob to the surface, but luckily, a couple of rocks stopped her from getting too far downstream.

“Elsa!!!” Anna’s spontaneous nature told her to jump in after her sister, but with how unpredictable her powers were becoming, she might as well just be a damn toaster. So, instead, she stood at the edge panicking.

“I’m fine! Just stay there!” Elsa shouts over the water. Using her own ability, she creates a solid wall of ice against the water. The object had enough force to throw the water back onto itself and start to rise up the river edges very quickly, but it also gave Elsa a short amount of time to battle against no current and to get back to the edge. Instantly, Anna crouches down and extends her hand out to her sister, who just barely manages to take it before letting the wall fall. Water crashes over them both in a powerful cascade, Anna holding tight to Elsa’s arm with both hands while trying to pull her up onto the grass. Only when Elsa gets her other hand up to solid ground was she able to pull herself over, Anna then dragging her away from the water.

“Elsa, I’m so sorry. I’m such a disaster. Please, I’ll find a way to make today up to you.” Elsa just gives a small groan, her eyes slipping closed for a moment. Anna feared the worst despite knowing her sister better than that.

“There’s only one way I’ll let you make this up to me.” Elsa’s voice was almost too quiet to hear, clearly exhausted.

“Anything!”

“Continue breaking your KitKats with me and… don’t ever stop loving me the way you do.” Hesitating, Anna stares down at Elsa’s tired face until she finally opens her gorgeous blue eyes again.

“Elsa, are you sure?” Her sister gives a tired nod. “Okay.” While still being very confused by this turn of events, she would still do anything for Elsa.

“Say it.. Out loud.” Elsa specifies, her eyes staring deep into Anna’s. It made the ginger’s heart beat hard against her chest, like Elsa was asking her to recite an oath instead of a simple request. So full of emotion and desperation…

“Elsa…”

“Please. You’re my everything, too, Anna.” Elsa’s voice suddenly sounded very broken and weak, like she was about to start crying. “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.” A small smile teases the edges of Anna’s lips. Of anything to come from confessing, relief was not something she expected. Her hand gently pushes back wet strands of platinum hair from Elsa’s face before softly caressing her sister’s cheek.

“I promise to always share my KitKats with you, and I promise to never stop loving you the way I do right now. Unconditionally and completely.” Elsa’s mouth grew into a relieved smile, her eyes slipping closed again as Anna took this opportunity to finally get the embrace she dreamed so often about.

#elsanna #submission #April 2021 contest #prompt: break

9 notes · View notes

syos-princess · 3 years

Text

Shortcakes’ Wedding “Diary”

Pairing: Syo Kurusu x Jules (Kurusu) (Me)

Other Characters: Many... (Everyone from Shining Agency + Kurusu Family)

Word Count: 2500+

TW: It’s a positive rollercoaster! (Fluff)

Tag List/Special Wedding Guests: @of-comfort-and-love @minty-fresh-kicks @stars-sunglasses-and-sodapop

Info: So, today is finally our wedding day and I kinda went over board with this story, hehe... [blushes] It’s written like little vlogs (though I call them “diary entries”) from getting ready to the reception speech!

[ok to rb/p.ros.hippers dni]

April 8, 2021 at 8:00 AM

[The recording starts]

„Okay, we‘re filming!“, says Nanami with a big smile on her face. „Welcome to the first video ’diary’ entry of Syo‘s and Jules‘ wedding day! The happy bride is over here-“

[The camera swings over to Jules and Tomo]

„-getting ready for her big day! Say hello, girls!“ Jules smiles shyly at the camera and waves. „Hello…“, she says. „Hello, hello~!“, answers Tomochika and winks at the camera. She is currently doing the young brunette‘s hair. „Are you excited, Ju-chan?“, asks Nanami. Jules nods slightly to not disturb Tomo during her work on her. „I am! Nervous but very excited, hehe…“ Oh and how nervous she is. Jules is scared of messing up and it being on camera forever but at the same time she can’t wait to be married to the man of her dreams. „Just think of Syo and it‘ll be fine!“, throws Tomo in. The blue-eyed bride blushes hard, while the two redheads laugh warmly.

[The camera zooms in a little more on Jules]

Then the young composer speaks up again. „So, Jules. What’s on the schedule?“ The girl in question giggles. „Well, right now: getting ready. The wedding ceremony is at 10AM, after that the reception at 12PM and lastly the wedding party.“ Nanami nods behind the camera. „Syo‘s dad should be here soon with the dress.“, adds Jules. This time it’s Tomochika who speaks. „Your dress is so beautiful. I‘ve only seen pictures so far but it’s gorgeous.“ Jules smiles. „Yeah, it really is. Makes me wonder if I really deserve to wear such an amazing dress.“ „Oh, hush! It was custom made, by your father-in-law, for you. Of course you deserve to wear it. You’ll look like a real princess in it! Syo won’t manage to take his eyes off of you.“, exclaims Tomo with confidence. The brunette blushes again. „Thanks, girls…“ There is a light knock.

[The camera view gets lowered to the floor]

„Oh, room service! It‘d be good if you could eat something to ease your nerves.“

[The camera focuses on the two girls again]

Jules chuckles lightheartedly. „Yeah, I‘ll try. Even though I’m not hungry.” She takes a look at her phone on the table. “Hm, I wonder how Syo is doing. We spent the night apart. I hope he’s alright…” Another knock. This time it’s Syo‘s dad with the special dress in tow. „Good morning, ladies.“ „Good morning, sir!“ The middle-aged man turns to Jules. “How are you doing today, Jules?” The brunette smiles. “I’m doing well, thank you! Nervous but well.” “Heh, yeah, that’s completely normal, dear!”, answers her soon-father-in-law with a chuckle.

[The camera zooms out]

„Okay, I think we should let the bride get ready in peace now.“ It‘s Nanami‘s voice. Tomo nods at that. „Yeah, we can take pics of the finished look after. Right, Jules?“ „Yes, totally.“, Jules answers with a smile. „Alright, this is it for the first video entry! Bye!“ The three people in view smile and wave at the camera.

[The recording ends]

April 8, 2021 at 8:30 AM

[The recording starts]

„HELLO!!! My best friend is getting married today!”, screams Natsuki behind the camera. The other STARISH guys flinch at the shrill tone. „Was it a good idea to let Natsuki film for now?“, asks Otoya jokingly. „Ah, it’ll be fine!“, answers Cecil. Tokiya turns to the device. „Welcome to this first video from us, the guys‘ side.“ Everybody, except Natsuki, waves at the camera with big smiles on their faces. „Hello!“ Ren goes over to Syo, who leans against a window, and pats his shoulder. „This little man is the lucky groom today! He is excited to see his bride~!“ Syo blushes but tries to hide it with a frown. „H-hey! Don’t call me short!“

[The camera view gets very shaky]

„Aww, Syo-chan! I‘m so happy for you!!“ „Natsuki! Be careful with the camera-“

[The view is blurry before doing dark]

„Ugh. Natsuki. Can‘t...breathe...“ It‘s definitely Syo‘s voice. „Oh! Sorry!!“ There is laughter now. „Oh, the camera…“ „Don’t worry, Ittoki. I got it.“

[The camera gets picked up]

„Hello, this is Hijirikawa Masato.“, says the voice behind the device. „Welcome again to this little video entry of this special day. We‘re currently in the suite and getting ready.“

[The camera zooms to Syo]

„Kurusu, how are you feeling?“, asks Masato. The blonde smiles fondly. „Amazing! I just can’t wait to see Jules. I’m sure she looks gorgeous. I wish it‘s 10AM already, haha!“ Syo turns around and plays a little with his white suit sleeve, while looking out of the window. Cecil speaks up next. „Could it be that you‘re nervous?“ Syo takes a deep breath. „No! I mean, yeah, maybe a little. I‘m so confident and yet, today, I‘m even more nervous than during important auditions. Well, more like happy, excited, nervous, just so many emotions at once.” Syo turns to his friends again. “Is that normal?” Tokiya smiles at him. “Of course. You’re getting married today, it’s normal to feel like this.” The others nod at Tokiya’s answer.

[The camera zooms out to show the group]

“That’s why you should eat something, Syo-chan!”, exclaims Natsuki and points at the food that they ordered from room service. The young groom sits down at the table. “I’m not really hungry actually…” Otoya lays one of the sandwiches on a plate and puts it in front of Syo. “Believe us, you’re going to need every little bit of strength today.” The blonde idol smiles, nods, and starts nibbling on the sandwich. Then he moves to take his phone. “Maybe I should ask Jules if she’s doing okay…” Ren laughs and takes Syo’s phone. “Nice try, Ochibi-chan, but you guys agreed to not contact and see each other before she‘s walking down the aisle to you!” Syo blushes. “Y-yeah, I know! It’s just...weird without the usual good morning texts and all...”, he mumbles. The others let out a laugh. “These two really can’t live without each other.”, says Cecil. “It’s so adorable!!”, squeals Natsuki. The shorter blonde’s blush deepens. “H-hey now! Stop teasing, guys!” Ren puts his arm around Syo’s shoulders. “Seriously though, we’re so happy for you both. Jules and you are the definition of soulmates and we all are beyond excited to celebrate this important day with you.” Syo bashfully runs his fingers through his hair but has a big smile on his face. “Thank you, guys! I can’t imagine not having you all here with us.” All of them smile warmly. Otoya chuckles. “Man, I’m hungry.” Masato nods behind the camera. “Yeah, let’s eat before it’s time for the ceremony.” Syo waves at the camera. “Thanks for joining us. See ya later!” “See ya!”

[The recording stops]

April 8, 2021 at 9:50 AM

[The recording starts]

“Hello, again to another video ‘diary’ entry! It’s Nanami!”, says the energetic voice behind the camera. “This is the location of the ceremony!”

[The camera view goes around the venue]

There is a lot of green, it’s an outdoor wedding, a white path, and cherry blossoms all around, completing the spring wedding theme with their beauty. In the first row of the white chairs, on the other side of Nanami, sits Quartet Night.

[The camera zooms in a little more]

The four men wave at the camera with Reiji being the most enthusiastic about it. Shining is only one row behind them and looks like he’s about to cry from happiness. Beside him are Ryuya, who’s facepalming at Shining’s behavior, and Ringo who just laughs and says something to his teaching partner.

[The view swings over to the front]

There is Syo speaking with Kaoru, his Best Man. The rest of STARISH are nearby, as well.

[The camera gets closer to the blonde twins]

“Hey, Syo-kun! Are you ready for the big moment?”, asks Nanami. Syo nods. “Yeah! I got the message that she’s here! The ceremony should start pretty soon.” Syo smiles a little. “Hey, Nanami? How does Jules look in her dress?” The redhead chuckles. “I’m sorry, Syo-kun. It’s a secret.” “Not even a little hint?” “Nope!” Kaoru lets out a laugh. “Give it up, Nii-san. Besides, you’re going to see her soon!” Syo plays with his suit’s sleeve. “Yeah, yeah. You’re right.” Suddenly, Natsuki runs over to them. “Message from Jules! She’s on her way! 2 minutes!” The group nods. Everybody is taking their seats or positions. Syo takes a deep breath. “Okay, let’s do this!”, he says. „You got this, Syo-kun!“, answers Nanami.

[The view gets really shaky for a moment]

„Alright! The ceremony is about to start.“

[The recording ends]

April 8, 2021 at 10:00 AM

[The recording starts]

Shortly after the camera turns on does music start playing, signaling the arrival of the bride. It’s a very familiar song to everyone. The instrumental version of “Hatsukoi wo Mata Hajimeyou”, requested by Jules and self-proclaimed „couple song“ by the wedding pair. And there she comes. The bride in her wedding gown getting walked down the little path by her father-in-law. The dress is a kimono-inspired blush pink dress with sakura embroidery. Absolutely beautiful. Syo’s eyes start to shine as he sees Jules. His smile is bigger than anyone has ever seen. The brunette’s smile is just as bright. Both of them have tears in their eyes, which could fall any second. The young idol meets his bride and dad halfway down the path. He gives Jules a quick peck on the cheek and turns to his dad to thank him. They exchange a few words and a pat on the shoulder before his dad “gives” Jules over to him. Syo holds out his hand to her. “Shall we, my gorgeous princess?” The blue-eyed girl blushes but takes it without hesitation. „Absolutely, my handsome prince.” Now it is Syo who blushes. Both of them walk together, hand in hand, to the front where the officiant awaits.

[A little while later]

“Now it’s time for the wedding vows.”, the officiant announces. Jules, nervously, goes first.

“My Prince.”, she starts. “There is so much to say and believe me when I say that I wrote down 10 pages full of stuff I wanted to say but I keep it short. I love you. And with every single day that passes, I do more. You are the light in my life that keeps me going, even through the darkest moments. I can always count on you to make me laugh, since literally the moment we’ve met all these years ago. The day you confessed to me feels like it was just yesterday because time with you is flying by so fast. You make me so happy. This may be cliche but you are my best friend who understands me fully and where I don’t have to hide who I am. I know we can manage anything that life throws at us. I can’t wait to explore our life together beside you as your wife! I promise to always love and honor you till the day I die. I love you so much, Syo...”

Syo‘s eyes water again and he leans forward to kiss Jules‘ forehead. „I love you too.“ He squeezes her hands before starting his own vow.

„Jules. My princess. Let me start this off by saying that you’re the best thing that life has ever given me. I don’t know what I did to deserve someone as sweet and supportive as you. You’re definitely thinking now that you’re not worthy to be thought of like that but it’s true. You are everything to me. I will always protect you and remind you every day that you’re absolutely amazing. I love you with my whole being. The fact that you didn’t leave me due to my job but instead always encourage and support me through and through makes me so incredibly thankful to have you in my life. Our ‚Prince of Fighting’ marathons are also always so much fun. I treasure these moments deeply in my heart. I promise, no, I swear, as your prince, that I will always come back home to you, no matter how long we‘re apart and that I‘ll always love and adore you. I love you, princess.“

Tears are running down Jules’ cheeks, which Syo gently wipes away with his thumbs under her glasses. Then he turns his head away to wipe his own teary eyes. The wedding guests are very quiet, seemingly moved by the couple’s vows. After a short pause is it finally time. The officiant turns to Syo first.

“Do you, Syo Kurusu, take Jules Hawthorne to be your lawfully wedded wife? Do you promise to love her, honor her, respect her, and be faithful to her, through anything life may bring, for as long as you both shall live?”

“I do!”, answers Syo confidently.

“Do you, Jules Hawthorne, take Syo Kurusu to be your lawfully wedded husband? Do you promise to love him, honor him, respect him, and be faithful to him, through anything life may bring, for as long as you both shall live?”

“Yes, I do!”, answers Jules in her soft voice.

The officiant nods at the now married couple. “I hereby happily pronounce you husband and wife! You may now kiss your princess.” Syo turns to Jules with a look full of love. He softly cups her cheeks, asking for permission, which she gives through a slight nod. Then he leans in for a sweet kiss, sealing their promise for eternity. Applause is rising around them as they gently lean their foreheads against each other’s. The couple turn their heads and catch the camera’s view. They chuckle and wave, showing off their rings with excitement. Truly an adorable sight.

[The recording ends]

April 8, 2021 at 12:00 PM

[The recording starts]

“Good afternoon, it’s Tokiya this time. We’re at the reception and waiting for the happy couple to arrive.” A sudden voice interrupts. It’s Cecil. “Hey, when will Syo and Jules arrive?” “Pretty soon, I’m sure.”, answers Ren instead. “I can’t wait~!”, exclaims Natsuki. “Shhh! I think they’re coming!”, says Otoya excitedly. Shining steps forward with a microphone in his hand.

[The camera zooms in on Shining]

“Hello, everyone! I have the great honor today to introduce the newly married couple! Let’s welcome them with a round of applause! Here are Mr. and Mrs. Syo and Jules Kurusu!!!” A big thunder of applause erupts. The married couple comes in, hand in hand, and just as happy as at the ceremony. Syo takes the microphone and addresses the crowd.

“Good afternoon! Thank you so much for coming and celebrating this important milestone with us. It really means a lot! This is the plan for the afternoon and evening. After the reception my wife and I have our first dance.” Jules’ shyness kicks in, which her blush gives away. The blonde gives her an encouraging smile and puts an arm around her. The blue-eyed girl smiles back at her husband. Syo turns back to the guests. “And after that, the buffet and bar are open, so eat and drink to your heart’s content. There are some surprises planned during the wedding party, as well. We really hope you continue to have a lot of fun today! Again, thank you all for coming!” Everyone raises their glasses:

“TO SYO AND JULES!”

[The recording ends]

#💍 shortcakes wedding 2021 #shortcakes 💗#syotime

10 notes · View notes

lostmoonbunny · 3 years

Text

Greetings from a Panini World

Yes, I did call this a "panini". I'm hesitant to use the word "pandemic" as I feel many of us have a knee jerk reaction to hide from everything once hearing or seeing that word. However that's the current stat of events. The year? 2021 Where I am located its very much so post quarantine and society has attempted to "return to normal" but its impossible. Between the anti- maskers, anti-vaxxers, and everything else it truly is impossible. "What do you mean?" you ask, well allow me to take you on a journey of a human that has gone through this "history in the making" and share what its been like since January 2020 to September 2021 from the eyes of someone that lived it. -I will preface this with saying, there will be gaps, I have trouble with object permanence, concept of time, and I have memory issues due to past concussions so bear with me as we stumble through the memories of my experiences.

So here we go... Let's travel back to January 2020.

2020..Ahhh the big year of "Clear vision".. HA! No, not today. What I remember was being concerned about this horrible virus but didn't think it would make its way to where I lived.. ( I would be unsurprisingly corrected shortly after this.) I worked, had my birthday, and it was quickly February. The virus was quickly spreading and making its way downtown walking fast faces past.. oops..sorry I got sidetracked, it was making its way down throughout the nation. We celebrated my partner's birthday, and soon after the month was over. February always flies by. March...ahh March, this is where everything started changing for me. Many states were shutting down around us fairly quickly too. ( I have opinions about how the US should've shut down sooner, but we're not here for politics...but yes it should've happened sooner.) My partner, younger brother and I made a last minute trip to the next state for a day trip. Which was fun don't get me wrong but the places we went to shut down for the state's quarantine the next day. My state would follow barely a week later. I was furloughed. That..that was an experience. All of us received the same message as it was a group message. It stated that we were all effectively unemployed ( so we could apply for benefits if we chose to) and that if and when we reopen that they hoped we could come back. I immediately messaged my boss and the boss that messaged us all and double checked learning that I was on the "short list" for rehires. That made me fee a bit better but I was still sad. My partner was considered "an Essential worker" so they worked through the entire lockdown. I swear Animal Crossing New Horizons is one of the only things that got me through that.. from this all the days blended together till June. Not don't get me wrong, plenty of things happened on a personal growth side that was beneficial like I started going to therapy, got even closer to my cousin that lives on the west coast, I played with my cats and dogs more, I caught up on sleep, all sorts of things but the way it had to happen sucked. Also in this time period, my favorite uncle contracts the virus and is put in the ICU on a ventilator. I don't remember how long he was in there but he made it. He is now healthy and survived the virus. So lets fast forward to June. My place of work reopened under specific guidelines. Now I don't know if I've ever mentioned this but I live in the southeast. The southeast, in summer is AWFUL. Its hot, its humid, and then if it DOES rain that humidity just goes up and it gets worse. To give you an idea while the temperature might say its 84 degrees F but the real feel might be 95F. I don't know why they don't just say 95F but that's how it is the southeast... So imagine if you will mid June, being reopened with special rules, masks required for everyone 5 years old and older, and no buildings but restrooms open to the public. The amount of rude, hateful, uncaring people almost made me lose my complete faith in humanity, and its not very high to begin with. Also for context, I work in retail. I feel that says enough there. These rules extend till the end of the year and into part of 2021. While all of this is happening the US is having their presidential elections and everyone has crawled out of the woodwork that you had hoped would stay there. At this point I'm hoping for the best because we really need a paradigm shift in society. We need to truly need to change as a society and in many way, catch up to the rest of the world. I finally gave in a got to tiktok and realize that it is very much a time devourer. I've realized that I feel as if the term "Cassflux" fits how I feel about my gender best, and fully accepted my journey on the path of being a witch.

Lets move in to October, October I ( and my partner) travel to Texas (cautiously) for my cousin's socially distant wedding and our anniversary. That was amazing and the slight escape from reality was truly needed. On our way back we made a stop in NOLA and it was a fun visit, but I realized my baby witch self hadn't veiled or warded myself nearly enough and it got all of "spidey senses" all out of wack. knowing now what I should've done, I do want to go back. The rest of the year went by both incredibly slow and yet in a flash. The US elected a new president, I was working as hard a possible to avoid the virus as much as possible and my partner had gotten a new job with a different company that was making them more happy. So this brings us to 2021. This is the year that I feel that I am truly coming into my own despite living in the middle of a global Panda Express. January brings my turning a landmark age and celebrating it with a new hair style, new outlook on life, progress made in therapy, more self acceptance, and just overall more happiness. The world is still the same, better, but also worse. The vaccine is being produced, distributed, and made accessible. February brings another birthday with my partner's birthday. March rolls around and we jokingly celebrate our work's closing a year prior and then continue to work. The vaccine is made available to retail and food workers so I go and get the first round of the "Dolly Parton" vaccine with my co workers. (If you were wondering its Moderna) We go and receive the second dose later at the correct time. April and May kind of blend together for me because that the ramp up for the busy season at work. June & July are busy but everything is moving forwards. I finally take a step more into the current era of technology and upgrade my phone and computer. ( After several years of going back and forth of not wanting current gen tech or not, because that stuff be expensive!) I reconnect with an old friend and we have a much healthier friendship.

August....hecking August.. We are short staffed at work, busy as heck! My partner is also hecking busy by being called in for almost every problem. The world is deffo changing. The US is in a state of nah nah a boo boo with vaccinating vs not, virus outbreaks having an uptick, universities starting back, Texas deciding that the government gets a say in a woman's reproductive rights... sorry I'll try to not get political. My ( like many others) using tiktok as a means of escape from this reality.. I'm so beyond mentally exhausted by everything that I just want to be somewhere that I can breathe a bit more easy... Its deffo not the southeastern US. September: I. am. exhausted. Working a bunch. Dealing with people doubting the virus, the usual Karens and Richards, counting down my days to vacation. My partner is beyond exhaustion. They've worked more in the past six weeks that they have in two years. The 20th year of 9/11 comes and goes. Not to sound like a country song, but remembering where I was at the moment the planes hit is something that has stuck with me...despite my concussions. I was in my English class and its was between classes and they had the tvs on. So many parents were coming and calling their kids out the school got to the point they weren't going to let kids leave.. ( if the parents complained enough they did.. I was a poorer kid in a more affluent school) My parents weren't going to take me out of school so I finished the day out in a state of confusion, not understanding the gravitas of what was going on, and not understanding was the emotions I was feeling watching the crashes were. I don't claim to even comprehend the emotions of this date to people who lost loved ones in the crashes, or in the oncoming days of the country going to war, I just know how it felt as a child to see something so major happening. I feel its like the kids now living through this panic at the disco. [[If you read this and you lost someone due to either of these horrific events please know that I in no way am invalidating or belittling your feelings or experiences. I merely am trying to describe all of how I feel throughout 2020- roughly current day 2021 and these are the things I was thinking and feeling on this particular day.]]

The days start to blend again as I attempt to countdown the days till my short vacation. Once that starts I get to finally relax as does my partner. The amount of sleep my partner has gotten is incredible and they deserve it dang it! This brings us to today, The last day of September 2021. This are changing at work and I'm not wholly sure of how I feel but I know it will be an interesting discussion for me to have with my therapist coming up. That's all I've got for now.. Hopefully I'll pop back in sooner to give more perspective on what its like living through all of this chaos. Just keep moving forward.

#lostmoonbunny #globalpanini #livingthroughaglobalcrisis #itsachaoticworld #life update #my life #grow #hopeful #becoming me #very tired

3 notes · View notes

theastrophilearchitect · 4 years

Text

I started writing a book.

And I’m mad about it, because I just started this post, brought up a new tab and lost it because I didn’t save my draft.

Anyway. That’s a thing I did. Wow.

As of this moment, this post won’t be going up until April 19th, but I’m starting writing this at 10.30pm on Sunday, February 21st, 2021. I’ve done a lot in the last couple weeks, and I want to have some record of all I’ve accomplished without just letting most of it fade over the next two months.

I’ve always wanted to be an author. From when I was reading under my covers with a torch past bedtime, through the years I wanted to be an artist, through the years I wanted to be a lawyer. It’s always been there - no matter what primary career path I went down, I wanted to be an author. The last few years, I’ve been invested in becoming a biologist, and that dream really took a backseat.

In the start of this lockdown, my mental health went downhill, and some advice my therapist gave me was just to prioritise myself. It sounds simple enough, but, even in my free time, I’d been focusing on schoolwork - revising constantly for exams I’m still not sure are actually happening. (Boris Johnson is apparently making an announcement tomorrow about beginning to ease lockdown, but we’ll see) So, on Saturday, February 6th, I started an attempt to coalesce the ideas I had floating in my head into something tangible.

I’ve tried to write books countless times (not technically countless - I have all the documents on my laptop, so I could if I wanted to), but mostly, I’ve never gotten further than a couple bare plot points and some characters, maybe some ideas for subplots, before I’ve stagnated and given up.

Three times, I’ve finished a skeletal outline. Twice, I’ve started to go back over those outlines only to realise they made no sense or just seemed week, and simply not cared enough to fix it. Until now, I guess.

February 6th, 7th, and fast-forward to my week off beginning the 15th, up until the 19th, I kept developing this concept I’d managed to form, but I was struggling to establish a coherent plot. I had up until and including a midpoint (which was later condensed into just a first act), but everything after that was just a void. I began searching for some skeletal structure I could apply to it, both to work on pacing and fill in the blanks. I tried several, and got a little further, but was about to give up hope.

Then I remembered a video by Katytastic I’d watched years ago about the 3-act, 9-block, 27-chapter structure she used, and couldn’t see the harm in giving it a go. And something clicked.

You can find the video here - the structure’s detailed and easy to follow, plus she even gives an example of using it to generate a plot.

I started binge-watching her writing vlogs in the background, and even started using her same writing program, Scrivener, which just made every a thousand times easier by taking away the need to juggle a billion Word documents. It’s fairly pricey, but I’m currently using the 30-day free trial - it’s 30 days of use, not of ownership, too: if you use it every day, it lasts 30 days, but if you use it once a week, it lasts 30 weeks.

Where Kat used the 27 parts the structure broke down into as chapters, I chose to refer to them as beats, and separate chapters later.

On Saturday the 20th, I finished defining my scenes and started writing an actual draft. I wrote two scenes, putting me at a collective word count (not including notes, synopses, etc.) of 2,580 words.

This morning, Sunday the 21st, I started over. I hated my opening. I’m not going to go through the mess of today’s process, but I currently have around 80 one-line-outline scenes, split into 3 acts. I wrote a draft of my prologue and detailed-outlined (which I’m mentally referring to as zero-outlining because it’s similar to how Katytastic does what she calls a zero draft, but is very much outlining, not a draft) two and a half other chapters. Scriver also tells me how many words I wrote in total, across notes, character profiles, location lists, a document I’ve named ‘Train of Thought’ for my ramblings as I go etc.

Today, I wrote a grand total of 4,141 words, which, rather counterintuitively, puts me at a draft total of 2,598. That makes sense. Anyway.

There are a lot of unknowns in the world right now, and I have no idea how much time I’ll have in the next six months to invest in this project, but I’d like, at bare minimum, to have one complete draft by the start of the next school year in September, which gives me just over 6 months. Which is probably too much time to actually motivate myself, but that’s not the point.

A manuscript needs to have a minimum word count of 50K words to be considered a novel, so, even though my ultimate goal for this project is around 80K words, 50K is going to be my goal for this draft.

I’m being optimistic about sticking with this.

Tuesday 23/02/2021 - Word Count: 3,099 I wrote nothing yesterday; planning to focus writing solely on days off rather than work days, but last night, watching through the incredibly long queue of Alexa Donne writing videos, I came to the conclusion writing every day, even just a little, would be the best way to ensure I keep working on this, so I set myself a goal of just 500 words a day.

Wednesday 24/02/2021 - Word Count: 5,350 After doing a little bit of maths as to how long this outlining and draft would take me if I were to only write 500 words a day, I decided to boost that goal to 1,000. I got started around 1pm today, online school draining me so much I couldn’t face another two hours. I worked on and off until 6pm, and around 4.45pm, I finished outlining Act One!

Thursday 25/02/2021 - Word Count: 7,022 I continued my scene outlining into Act Two, but I hit a brick wall around the midpoint. I have to write chronologically - some people jump around, but I have to write linearly, or it feels like I’m trying to make something in a void. It just doesn’t work. I didn’t know how to get from one scene to the next - there were so many things I needed to establish to get there, but I didn’t want to backtrack. I decided to re-jig the whole thing, but, after dinner, I realised I didn’t have to, and instead, decided to just start a draft, conscious of the things I need to establish as I go.

Friday 26/02/2021 - Word Count: 8,208 Starting draft one, I rewrote the prologue I’d already written, technically putting me to my second draft of it, because I’d been thinking about it for days and just wanted to revisit it, and it was so much better. Then I moved on to chapter one, but decided I wanted to re-jig my chapters. While outlining, I’d split the whole book into only about twenty chapters, but decided to go for shorter ones for more effective divisions of the story. I got most of the way through the first scene of chapter one, but basically ran out of both time and motivation, since I hadn’t heavily outlined that scene. in total, I wrote over 2000 words today, but because I only increased the prologue word count by about 100 words, it didn’t do that much to the total count.

Saturday 27/02/2021 - Word Count: 11,050 I got some chores done Saturday morning and focused on finishing my book so I could include it in my February wrap-up, but I still had time to get some writing done around mid-day. My goal was just to hit 10K this weekend, but I though I could do it in one day. I wrote about 1,000 words before feeling a little word-drained, but took a break for lunch, got back to it and wrote 2,400 words. Though that only added a little over 2,000 to the word count, it took me to 10K! I’m 20% of the way to being able to call it a novel! We’re in quintuple digits!

And then eight hours later, I wrote another thousand words and got to 11K.

Sunday 28/02/2021 - Word Count: 13,722 I spent most of my Sunday morning writing, though it took me more than two hours to write about 1500 words, though it only added about 1100 to my count. I decided to set myself an overall and weekly deadlines to hold myself accountable. Due to the fact I don’t yet have a clue how many words this will work out as, I decided I wanted to have either a complete first draft or 100K words (which I doubt I’ll reach, but it seems like a good way to make myself finish the draft before my deadline) by the end of April. Which works out to a little under 1500 words a day, or just under 11K a week, which is perfectly doable. Bearing in mind my current word count is including outlines, but I still believe in myself.

I wrote another 1600 words later, which took me to 14K, until I deleted the 300 word outline I wrote for one scene, but I worked out my words per day for the next two months with the assumption of a 10K word count as of March 1st and a target of either a complete draft or 100K words by the end of April, so I’m nearly 4,000 words ahead of schedule. Which gives me 6,606 words to write this week, instead of 10,328. (If you couldn’t tell, I like numbers. They just make sense to me.

Monday 01/03/2021 - Word Count: 15,005 I didn’t quite hit my daily goal, but I was completely leached of motivation today, I’m ahead of schedule anyway and I was only under by less than 200 words. It’s alright. But, hey, we hit 15K! Two days after hitting 10K!

Tuesday 02/03/2021 - Word Count: 21,119 This was an insane writing day. My end-of-day target was only 16,480, and that was still ahead of schedule - if I was sticking to the 100K by April 30th, I’d only actually need to be at 12,950 today. This was the best writing day I’ve ever had. I wrote before school and during breaks, which kept both my writing and working momentum up.

I didn’t read a page of my current read, but I wrote a total of 7,681 words and increased my wordcount by 6,114 words, or literally an additional 40.75%. I hit 20K three days after hitting 10K, and am 42.238% of the way to being able to say I wrote a novel, be it a shitty first draft that won’t be complete at 50K words.

I also finished chapter three, which I’ve been working on for three days and came out ~5,000 words, and wrote chapters four and five in their entirety.

Note to self: this is day 10 of vaguely outline-drafting this project.

Wednesday 03/03/2021 - Word Count: 23,364 I've only written 490 words today, as of writing this update, but I just wanted to make note of the fact I've done some calculations, and can reasonably finish my draft this month. I'm still not completely sure how long it'll work out to be, so I can't quite work out my daily words to finish on the 31st, but if I stick to my current 1,475 words a day, I'll hit 63,894 words by the end of the month, which is a little less than I imagine this draft will be, but if I stick to that as a minimum, my first draft won't have to go into April.

I'd like to post this later this week, but I already have a post for this Friday, so God only knows how long this will be by the time it goes up. So far, I've written 1,900 words today, and I don't think I'm out of fuel yet, but I'm stopping because I need to read today, and I'd rather not burn out. I'm over my goal, anyway.

Oh, also, I'm nearly at 25K, which is halfway to a novel, but I haven't broken into Act Two yet, which means this book will be 75K minimum. I'm going to do some maths and work out how many words a day to hit 80K by March 31st. 2,030. That's doable. So I haven't read, but back to writing for like ten minutes.

I've now hit an additional 2,245 words for the day, though I wrote a total of 2,663

Thursday 04/03/2021 - Word Count: 25,415 I've decided to work out how many words I need to write each day to hit 80K by March 31st, and watch the fluctuations. (I like statistics). It should steadily go down throughout the month if I surpass it each day. Today's minimum word count is 2,023, already seven words less than yesterday's. How exciting.

The last scene of Act One was very heavy on world-building I haven't yet figured out, so I stuck what was meant to happen in brackets and just moved on, meaning I have now broken into Act Two!

I think, during the week, I'm going to focus on just meeting my minimum word count rather than exceeding it, just to save fuel for the weekends, when I can write so many more words.

And, we hit 25K! I'm halfway to a novel!

Friday 05/03/2021 - Word Count: 26,693 In complete honesty, I'm beginning to lose momentum. Maybe it's just today, but I don't really want to write and feel like I need a break, but I'm going to make myself write anyway. I'm going to make myself keep writing until this draft is done, however shitty it may end up. I really hate first drafts.

When you say 2,000 words is only 7-8 pages, it doesn't sound like that much to write per day but my god. Luckily, most of the stuff I've had to save to a Pinterest board called 'Writing Motivation' says if you write when you don't want to, it should pass instead of worsening. I wanted to hit 35K this weekend, but I'm not sure I'll have the momentum. I'll at least hit 31,270, though, which is my minimum goal for this week. I'm still over 700 words off my goal for today, but I'm taking a break because my head is foggy and there's still eight hours left in the day. Besides, 700 after dinner is easy. She says, realising she's probably jinxing it. Oh, well. 80K by March 31st would be difficult, even if I weren't going back to school soon, but that's a stretch goal. 100K by April 31st is my minimum, and I'm 9,000 ahead of where I need to be for that.

I think I’m stagnating because I’ve hit the ‘Fun and Games’ section, which I find really boring. I’m going to try to keep going with it, but I may just skip it and come back later.

Saturday 06/03/2021 - Word Count: 28,150 So, I did not get the extra 700 words in. Before dinner, some stuff I had to deal with came up, and by the time it was done, I just wanted to go to bed, so I did. Today, I'm going to try to make up for it, which I think is reasonable because it is now the weekend. I'm still kinda exhausted this morning, but I'm going to do my best, and my wrist hurts, but I'm not sure why. You'd think it would be from all the typing, but only one wrist hurts - you know what? Never mind. They do both hurt. I'm just not sure why, but it doesn't hurt typing this, so that doesn't make any sense. Anyway, to hit my word count for the day, I need to write 2,555 words, which doesn't sound like too much, but it kinda is because I'm primarily writing Act Two at the minute, and for every thousand words I write, I lose like 400 from my outline. You'd think I'd just not include my scene outlines in the word count, but it's too late for that now.

I'm thinking this over, and I really don't think trying to write 80K by the end of the month is going to be good for either my motivation, mental health, or ability to function back at school, so I'm going to stick to 100K or a finished draft by April 30th, and re-work out my goals from there, based on yesterday's word count, so I'm not making myself do catch-up today.

So, to hit 100K by April 30th, I only need to write 1,309 words each day (which will decrease over time because if that's my minimum now, I'll probably surpass it, decreasing the amount of words left etc.). That's so much less pressure.

God, I really don't want to write today. I just want to watch YouTube and Netflix and read.

Okay, so here's the thing. I've been working on this story straight for three weeks and I'm kinda exhausted of it. I'm not done with it, not at all, and I want to keep working on it because it exists, which makes it workable.

I watched a writing vlog by ShaelinWrites yesterday, and she said she writes different projects at once, alternating in week- or multi-week-long blocks. I think I might try that.

My plan with this post and the following updates was to keep updating it until the day it goes up, the day after which is when I begin drafting the next, but, since I may be switching projects for a while and this is really about the project I've decided to dub 'Bay Tree' (which is just, I guess, a pseudonym for here because while I have no idea what it would eventually be called, I know that's nothing like the title I'd want to give it) so I'd want to start a new post for a new project.

I'm now doing a little outlining instead of actually continuing writing, but I think this will help me, though I'm still not certain about whether or not I'm going to directly continue with this specific project for the minute. Instead of setting daily goals based on a target, I'm also just going to say 1,000 words a day, and see where that takes me.

I've just been outlining into Act Three, and I've met a major plot stumble, but I'm going to work that out and explain what I'm doing in my next writing update.

So, go drink some water, eat if you haven't eaten in the last few hours, stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself how wonderful you are and how much happiness you deserve, and, if you want to write a book, stop thinking about it, and go write.

#blog #blogging #blogger #blogpost #blog post #writing #books #book #reading #read #write #writer #author #draft #first draft #story #writing blog #writerblr #bookblr #novel #debut

3 notes · View notes

pain-somnia · 5 years

Text

Away From Home

Pairing: SasuSaku Rating: M (for sexual content) Prompt: time travel w/smut. (for those worried that it’s an adult with a teen, it’s not. That’s all I’m giving away) Disclaimer Day’s Notes: This was a piece that was commissioned through Patreon back in April. It wasn’t originally exclusive so I decided that it’s been 9 months so I will share this with you all.

Away From Home

There is a soreness in his lower back and a crick in his neck that has him worried to open his eyes.

He dreams often of home when on his mission, but the smile on his daughter’s face and the feel of his wife’s hands as they eased the kinks and knots of his muscles had been so real. He had smelled the fabric softener and felt the softness of the white bed sheets with the scalloped trim that Sakura favors. The detailed stitching brushing against his cheek is a sensation so strongly imprinted in his mind that it feels as though he had felt it only a mere hours ago not months.

Reaching to adjust his cloak to ward of the cold, he tucks his face into the collar and sighs. He detests being away but he is duty bound. Sasuke knows the dreams will only haunt him when he is idle for too long.

A crackle of a flame has his eyes opening wide. He never uses a fire at night when traveling alone. More alert now he recognizes the scent of smoke wafting about and absorbed into the material of his black cloak.

And he notices the way his hair brushes alongside his cheeks instead of resting against one side and brushing against the lashes of his left eye.

Sasuke has to blink excessively before he is able to focus on his surroundings. The clarity he usually had is gone and he has as much difficulty seeing as when—

No.

The blurry trio of sleeping bags and the long red hair poking out over the top of one is a sight he hasn’t seen in almost two decades.

It’s as he’s flexing fingers on a hand that he hasn’t had in over fifteen years that he recognizes that his chest is rising and falling at an alarming speed.

When was it that he last had a panic attack? When was it that he last had a panic attack without being able to turn and hold on to the small, soft body of his pink haired wife to ground him to reality?

Inhaling and holding his breath, Sasuke lets out his next exhale long and slow.

Oddities in his life are rare but nothing new, but suddenly finding himself in his teenage body is far more outside his realm of normality than rabbit goddesses and eye snatchers from the moon.

Settling into the flow of Team Taka is easier than it should be, but Sasuke was never much of a talker and it helps him pretend he isn’t a thirty-two year old man trapped in the body of a seventeen year old.

These versions of his former underlings haven’t noticed anything off about him yet but he knows it’s only time before he slips up.

It would be better to separate.

By the red clouds on his cloak and his blindness he can pinpoint when in time he’s supposed to be. Team Taka is meant to hunt down the Hachibi but Sasuke isn’t his young self lost in the darkness. He not only doesn’t want to hunt down the Hachibi but he also knows how it all plays out and doesn’t care to repeat history.

He will have to walk a path parallel to the one of his past so that he doesn’t disrupt the course of events that lead up to his future. As much as he would rather abandon everything and return home, there may be consequences to that decision.

There is one decision he must make to change the course of events. It will buy him time as he avoids hunting the Hachibi and it would be best for himself and to prevent an outsider from taking what belongs to his brother.

The order was wrong, but it was time to claim his inheritance.

Having the procedure done a second time, Sasuke was more alert this time around during his healing process. There are no dark thoughts clouding the corners of his mind as he plans.

This is another moment he wishes Sakura were with him. His brilliant wife would have healed him and fixed any errors left behind by the crude surgery. She would be able to come up with theories as to how he found himself in such a predicament. He can only hope that she is safe with their daughter in the distant future and that he hasn’t had any missteps that would erase their family’s future.

As much as he doesn’t want to hunt down the Hachibi there is still one man he will have to take care of again. Sasuke will have to be smarter this time around, less controlled by the hatred that had consumed him in his old life.

Loud voices and hissed insults outside of his bedroom has him snuggling into his futon until only the spikes of his hair can be seen poking from the top of his blankets. He doesn’t wish to know what it is Karin is doing that has her fighting with their comrades.

Sasuke longs for the quiet of his home even more during his recovery. Aches for the breeze drifting in through the open windows of his house and the smell of garlic and shallots filling the air as Sarada and Sakura’s chatter wraps a soothing buzz around his brain and down his spine.

He can’t afford a single misstep. He’ll find his way to Sakura again in the future—of this he’s confident—but he can’t lose their Sarada.

He drifts into a troubled sleep and dreams of hues of pink and red and of a girl’s distant laughter, always cutting away when he’s just within reach.

It’s a color he could never mistake and a voice he yearns for on quiet nights after days of of inaction.

There are others with her but who they are he doesn’t care. It’s always been like this. He hears her, sees her, before all others. Once that had been something he would vehemently deny, keeping those stray thoughts encased in the deep recesses of his mind, but he isn’t his seventeen year old self━no matter his appearance━and home is a flash step away.

“Konoha shinobi,” Karin warns. “Three klicks but heading west in the opposite direction. Easily avoidable.”

“You couldn’t have said something earlier?” Suigetsu scoffs. “You have one job and you can’t even do that right.”

“Shut up!” Karin seethes. “Sasuke-kun knows I would have said something if I was told to keep alert for them.”

With just a glance, Sasuke has them silencing. He nods his head in the direction he wants them to take and the three of them take off without him.

Home is running in the opposite direction. Three kilometers turns into four which turns into five and then six. And so on she keeps running, not even knowing how much he wants to be running to her.

He can hear them whispering. Even Jūgo is becoming skeptical of his plans. They have been moving and moving, constantly moving without making any effort to hunt down the Hachibi despite the orders given from his elder cousin Obito masquerading as their ancestor.

“Are you sure?” He hears Suigetsu muttering to Karin from his spot above them all in the forest canopy.

“I’m positive. We’re going in circles. Just as we’re getting closer I can feel him leading us away and…”

“And?”

“Something’s...different about Sasuke-kun. He doesn’t feel the same. His chakra is different. It’s like it’s not the Sasuke-kun we know.”

“Is it because of that surgery?”

“No...it’s been like that since before...just one day he woke up and he was different.”

Whatever Suigetsu responded with was lost to Sasuke as he closed his eyes and shut their voices out.

He didn’t necessarily need them anymore but the three of them had nowhere to go currently. In the future they crawled back to Orochimaru but at the moment he is still dead. And with the war approaching they would need as many allies and Taka did their part in assisting in his old life.

Sasuke will have to find a reason to get away from his team to avoid anymore suspicion.

He’s on his own for a bit. Sasuke always needs his space from his teammates and before they used to be wary of him, but now they’re wary for another reason all together.

He’s Sasuke but he’s not their Sasuke. He’s a Sasuke only a select few know and Team Taka never had this Sasuke. Karin has witnessed small increments but this Karin isn’t the Karin that was covered to her elbows in blood, cradling his premature daughter to her chest. This Karin doesn’t know it yet, but he is in debt to her for helping his wife and child.

He owes her more than she knows. But that hasn’t happened yet and he just wants distance, space away from her calculating eyes. She can see the way his chakra moves, feel the missing heaviness of how imposing it once was.

And he can’t allow that to be his undoing. He could handle it if Karin were to confront him but he couldn’t handle it if the confrontation led him to losing his future.

So Sasuke runs.

He takes the first chance he gets to split from the rest of Taka. Makes an excuse so that they split ways for a period. They have Karin and she can track him when they need to meet up again.

Being on his own again, Sasuke is reminded of the time during his redemption journey. Although he stands shorter than when he stepped out alone for the first time, he is seeing the world through clearer eyes and a free heart.

Sasuke finds himself sleeping often, a habit from when he went searching for himself. When the warm breeze rustled through the grass and the scent of the oak trees traveled with the wind, Sasuke was reminded of home and his thoughts would become muddled. Sleep was a reprieve from the confusing ache in his chest.

Now sleep is a curse. The weariness of his eyes as they drooped haunts him. For sleep cannot give him what he wants.

A promise that when he wakes up everything would have been just a dream. And that he would be home again.

It takes Sasuke a moment to remember to breathe.

It was already a coincidence that they had crossed paths once before, that he had caught a glimpse of her so soon before…

Before the time he had seen her in his timeline━his real timeline━and almost lost the future he is missing now.

His eyes are wide open and he is seeing the world with such clarity. How many times did he miss her before? How many times did he miss her when his vision was clouded with his hunt for justice?

He draws in the breath his lungs have been screaming for and it’s with that inhale that Sakura skids to a stop.

Eyes so green, so seafoam green, narrow and scan the perimeter. Short, choppy hair rustles with the slight movement of her head as she searches in his general direction. Sasuke can almost see the calculations circling in her mind.

She knows someone’s there. He can make a run for it, use his greater speed as an advantage. It would be the wise thing to do. The strong thing to do, for he knows that the gravitational pull his wife has on him even━before she’s aware she has any pull on him at all━is something he is weak against.

It is why he left home at twelve. It is why he stayed away.

Sasuke is very good at doing his duty. It’s what kept him on his mission for so long, it’s what had him on his mission without coming back home until it was done.

But he is tired and sleep has been bad and all he wants is that look━the look that Sakura gets on her face when she sees him, eyes wide and lips parting as if she’s seeing something splendid for the first time.

It’s greedy and selfish, but he’s sacrificed years in one lifetime and weeks in another. The universe can forgive him for a few seconds.

Purposefully he takes a step on a twig on the forest floor, one that alerts Sakura to his exact location. He just needs to wait for that look, that one look of astonishment, and he’ll take off.

“Sasuke-kun!” Sakura gasps, but before he can pivot and flee, she’s already taking a step back.

Curious, he halts his movements and watches as she digs her teeth into her lower lip and her eyes drift from him to the direction she had been heading toward before he had distracted her.

That’s...peculiar.

He is right in front of her—not moving now that he’s observing her—and she isn’t pleading with him to go back home with her.

Sasuke understands that she may be wary of him, unsure of how he would react, but Sakura isn’t one to shy away when it comes to her feelings so her silence is unnerving. He had been expecting her to shout out, not to act with trepidation.

Sasuke edges forward, sliding one foot along the soil, moving slowly as if approaching a doe. He waits for a reaction but Sakura just stares and stares.

He takes off, using a sequence of flash steps to create distance. He didn’t expect Sakura to be able to predict his movements but a tugging at the rope belt he uses to tie his cloak to his body has him skidding to a stop and redirecting his path.

“Sasuke-kun!”

He can’t look back. If he looks back he’ll break and forget that he has a responsibility to keep the timeline on its course. There is no telling if he will wake up back at home and face consequences for any disruptions he may have caused.

“Sasuke-kun,” Sakura continues to cry after him, trailing closer after him than he anticipated her sixteen year old self to be able to.

His mind offers a flash of Sakura dodging quick attacks during the fourth great war and then of her sucker punching Shin with his body covered with activated mangekyou sharingan, despite her off roster status due to being the director of the hospital.

“Anata!”

Fumbling a flash step, Sasuke trips up and skids across the forest floor, catching himself with his hands digging into the earth. Sakura catches herself on the trunk of a tree, using chakra to anchor herself instead of skidding along the forest floor like Sasuke. Green eyes go wide in fear as she continues to watch him, body poised and ready to make a run for it. Her body is tense as she anticipates a violent reaction from him.

Activating his sharingan, Sasuke scans every inch of her and looks for a sign, any sign that she could be━

“Tsuma?”

The endearment has barely left his tongue when Sakura throws her body at him, tackling him to the ground in one of her strong embraces.

“It’s you, it’s you!” She sobs into his chest, soaking his top with her tears.

Sasuke places a hand on her back and rubs soothing circles, letting her find comfort in releasing weeks worth of stress.

Sasuke doesn’t need to hear the lecture. It’s in his wife’s scowl as she sends pulses of her soothing chakra to his temple, healing the scarring from the surgery his cousin had performed to implant Itachi’s eyes. It’s the same scars she healed for him while he was in the hospital after his battle with Naruto.

She doesn’t reprimand him as he pulls her closer to straddle his lap. The closer she is, the more real it feels that she’s really with him.

Sakura had been in her sixteen year old body for the same amount of time he had been back in his seventeen year old body. She had told him of how she woke up one morning convinced she had dreamt he had returned for good, only to realize she was in a smaller body, in a much smaller bed, back in her bedroom in her parents’ house.

Sasuke scoffed at the comment of a smaller body. She had only grown a few more centimeters by the time she had reached adulthood. It is true though that she is no longer fuller at the hips and had lost the bust she developed after pregnancy━even the one she developed toward the end of puberty, but he isn’t going to mention that he had been watching her more closely than he should.

He remembered the shock of standing up and realizing he had lost over half a foot of his own height and although he was still muscular it was nowhere near the muscle mass of his adult body.

And then there was the issue of balance since he no longer needed to compensate for the missing limb.

“Do you think anyone else was sent back in time?” Sakura asks him as she examines him further, unzipping his top and brushing the pads of her fingers along still healing scars.

“Definitely not Naruto. He wouldn’t have the sense to keep it a secret.” Sasuke drags his nose up the line of Sakura’s throat. She smells mostly of sweat, dirt, and grass, but just underneath is her own unique scent.

Sasuke slides his hands under her medic apron, fingers edging along the hem of her tight shorts.

“What—,” Sakura narrows her eyes at him, cutting off her flow of chakra, “—what are you doing?”

“Nothing,” Sasuke answers as he cups her pert backside with both hands.

“We’re in a forest,” Sakura protests.

“That wouldn’t be new for us,” Sasuke counters.

“We’re in a forest, I’m sixteen, and you’re a missing nin,” is Sakura’s rebuttal. Despite her protests, she reaches for his rope belt and tugs it undone.

“Physically,” Sasuke continues to counter, “but spiritually we are━”

“Oh, just shut up and kiss me, you opportunist.”

Sakura holds his face in her small hands and initiates their first kiss━a minor change from their original timeline. Sasuke sits her in his lap and bites on her lower lip, pulling it into his own mouth as he proceeds to deepen the kiss.

Sasuke isn’t ignorant of the fact that he now has the advantage of two hands. He can touch his wife without the assistance of any jutsu. Although the observation doesn’t stop him from using his teeth to unzip her top. His hands are too busy pulling off her shorts and underwear.

As close as they are, they’re not close enough and he needs to correct that.

“Don’t rip through my shorts,” Sakura warns him, clutching his shoulders with enough force he’s sure she added chakra to her hold, a promise of repercussions if he damages her clothing.

Sakura’s gasp is barely heard over the sound of her mesh tank top being torn in half with only the use of Sasuke’s teeth. No one ever sees her undergarments so it’s an article of clothing that has no import, something that Sasuke is aware of and pays no mind to her grumbling as he drags his tongue up her sternum.

Her irritation melts into a soft sighs as he presses open mouth kisses to her clavicle. He grabs her waist with his hands, distracted by how tiny it is as he brushes his thumbs lightly around her belly button.

“Sasuke-kun…” Sakura murmurs as he sinks his fingers into her warm, wet center. He gets to work on stroking her with one hand and helping her remove her shorts and underwear with the other.

Two hands really were more efficient.

Sakura’s moans roll into his mouth as she grinds her hips against his hand. She had been too engrossed in the feeling of his fingers thrusting in and out of her core to worry about removing her medic-nin apron. Sasuke wants it on during their encounter.

Barely covering anything at all, Sasuke didn’t get a chance to appreciate her little apron when he really was seventeen. It is short enough and the slit just high enough that he can watch the way Sakura’s pink curls brush against the heel of his palm.

As Sakura grinds her hips against his hand, she braces herself by gripping his shoulders. The position they’re in makes it easy for Sasuke to wrap his lips around a pebbled nipple. He uses his other hand to press against her lower back in order to support her as she bucks against him, legs trembling.

As her inner muscles start to spasm around his fingers, Sasuke pulls them out. Sakura cries out at the loss and throws a glare at him, eyes watering from the frustration.

“I was close!”

“Yeah, I know.”

Sakura pouts so cutely he should feel bad about depriving her the release she was edging toward but he doesn’t. He just pulls his cloak out from under him and spreads it out on the forest floor.

“Come here,” Sasuke murmurs, tugging at her wrists to draw her closer. “And take off your shirt.”

Sakura barely shrugs her red top off and Sasuke is already pushing her down on to the cloak. He wastes no time in pushing her thighs apart and opening her folds once again. He’s careful to avoid the bundle of nerves that would throw her over the edge now that she is sensitive from the earlier stimulation.

“You’re doing it again,” Sakura whines, wiggling her hips in an attempt to get him where she wants him.

“What am I doing?” Sasuke feigns ignorance, pretending to be too concentrated on his task.

“Sasuke-kun. I’m not going to be the only one naked outside again.”

Sasuke frowns at the statement but doesn’t refute it. Their encounters outdoors usually ended up with Sakura losing every article of clothing while he only tugged his pants low enough to free himself from the confines.

Sasuke shrugs but in a gesture of mock solidarity he removes his shirt and tosses it to the side. He quirks an eyebrow at her and hesitantly she relaxes underneath him.

Now that she’s more willing to be compliant, losing the tension in her body, Sasuke swipes at her clit. He rubs at it with his thumb as he strokes her folds and places kisses down the valley between her small breasts and lower until he reaches her navel.

Dipping his tongue in her belly button, he sucks at the flesh there before making his way down lower and lower, past the thatch of pink curls, and flattens his tongue against where she’s hottest and drags it nice and slow before flicking Sakura’s hardened nub with the tip of his tongue.

A sharp pain at his scalp alerts him to Sakura’s fingers clutching at his hair and yanking it as he pulls the nub between his lips and rolls his tongue around it, alternating between soft suckles and hard suction that has her thighs trembling around his head.

Sasuke groans against her folds and Sakura’s body tenses up as his name tumbles weakly out of her mouth in a soft cry of relief.

Sasuke continues to lap at her core, flicking her clit in the upstroke. When Sakura tries to sit up he hooks his arms around her thighs and place his hands on her hips to keep her still. Using her sensitivity from the last orgasm he guides her into a second one and then rolls it into a third.

Sakura’s pulling his hair so hard at this point he’s glad that she is unable to concentrate on anything else but the feel of his tongue. If she could focus she would gather her chakra and attempt to pull him off of her. With the way she was yanking she could probably scalp him with her bare hands in her flustered state with the use of chakra.

By the time he’s done teasing her, Sakura is struggling to fill her lungs, unable to catch her breath through her pants. As she’s coming down, chest slowing down in its rising, Sasuke sits up on his knees and pulls her lower half so that her legs are spread across his lap.

“Are you okay?” He asks as he strokes her thigh soothingly as her eyes blink back into focus. She nods and grasps his hand, interlocking their fingers.

“I want to touch you too.”

Sakura pulls his hand up and presses kisses to the pads of his fingers, drawing them into her mouth. Sasuke’ mouth runs dry as she sucks on them. With a mischievous glint in her eyes, she slides his index and middle fingers in and out of her mouth, her tongue wrapping around them.

“Next time,” Sasuke chokes out, reluctantly removing his hand from her hold as he pulls himself out of his pants. He gives himself two quick strokes, using the slickness from Sakura’s sucking to lubricate himself before guiding his cock into her entrance.

Slow and steady, Sasuke pushes in, groaning as he sinks deeper into Sakura’s slick heat. Looking up at Sakura’s face he cocks his head to the side, not sure why her lips are parted and eyes glimmering in awe.

“So that’s what you would have looked like…” she says softly.

Smirking down at his wife, Sasuke groans again purposely as he pulls out and thrusts back in as deeply as he can fill her.

The awestruck expression falls from Sakura’s face as she gasps from the sudden fullness. Sasuke stills inside her, feeling her inner muscles contracting around him as she adjusts to his size. As soon as she lifts her hips to move underneath him, Sasuke begins a steady pace of thrusts, gripping her hips with both hands to anchor her to him.

As familiar as he is with what his wife likes, his young body isn’t accustomed to being inside her and he is hypersensitive to the sensation. He can feel his release rapidly approaching, much sooner than he’d like.

Pulling out, he maneuvers Sakura’s body so she’s on her stomach. Following his lead, Sakura braces herself on her hands and knees and spreads her legs for him. Sasuke sinks back in and Sakura cries out, feeling him even deeper than before.

It’s a position Sakura prefers and that he gladly puts her in due to the increase in her sensitivity. He settles himself into the even pace from before, not trying to cum before he’s ready. Sasuke takes a finger and drags it down the curve of Sakura’s spine, feeling her flutter around him from the act.

Sasuke drops his head in the crook of her neck and drags his nose across her nape. Dropping kisses between her shoulder blades, Sasuke bites down on her shoulder and Sakura cums again, squeezing him tight and forcing his release out of him. Sasuke pulls her hips tight against his and grinds into her as spills himself inside of her. He collapses on top of her, chin resting on her shoulder. Sakura slowly drops to the ground and nudges him gently off of her as they sprawl out on the cloak.

Sasuke takes a deep breath and pulls Sakura closer so that her back is pressed against his chest. He hooks his arm around her waist and pillows her head with his other arm. Pressing his nose against the top of her head, he breathes in the smell of home. Sweaty and hidden behind the smell of earth, it lies there in the strands of Sakura’s hair.

Sakura had shrugged on his shirt when they gathered their things and relocated to a bank of a stream to wash up. The sight of their crest on her back is a small comfort but the news Sakura gave him as they laid on the forest floor had put a damper on his mood.

“Sasuke-kun,” his wife calls back his attention as she hangs up the newly washed cloak to dry. “What are you going to do now?”

Sakura was on her way to rendezvous with her team when she had ran into him. Luckily she was ahead of schedule due to already having the information she needed from the mission in the past. Sasuke hadn’t sidetracked her as she was using the extra time to be on her own. She had found it unsettling and tiring when she was with people. The stress of pretending and trying not to disrupt the timeline had been getting to her.

She was just as stuck as Sasuke and the only theory she could come up with was the rinnegan which was ruled out as soon as the thought crossed her mind. The rinnegan traveled dimensions not time.

Waiting around and playing out the rest of the events wasn’t something Sasuke wanted to do. There were other ways to get what he wanted.

“And I really don’t wanna celebrate Naruto’s birthday this time with the two of you blowing each other’s arms off,” Sakura jokes as he drags a hand down his face in embarrassment.

“That’s not happening this time.”

“Then what is happening this time?” Sakura slides her hand down his left wrist, settling her palm against his until he takes hold of it and interlocks their fingers.

“This time,” Sasuke breathes before granting her a soft smile, “this time, I come home. And stay.”

“And you stay.” Sakura nods, beaming up at him. Her smile fades and her brows furrow. “And Sarada?”

“We can be careful, do some calculations…” Sasuke rubs his thumb on the back of her hand. “She was ours once. She can be again. We’ll try.”

“We can try,” Sakura agrees.

“But for now,” Sasuke tugs on her hand, drawing her closer, “let’s go home.”

#sasusaku #ss fanfiction #day!fics

347 notes · View notes

lunuula · 3 years

Text

April 2021 - About finding your voice

Hey there again! How are you doing?

I’m doing great, if we don’t consider the huge amount of work I have to do for school. But it’s already April (2021 didn’t start just like, 3 days ago? No? Alright.) and then I’ll finally graduate from art school in a few months! That’s huge for me! I’ll still have two more years of university (I’m currently majoring in Communication for the creative industry), but finally getting that small degree in illustration makes me feel so proud. If I could hug myself from 4 years ago, studying in a regular university that just wasn’t for me, I’d do it. Past Sara deserves it. You go girl, hang in there!

This month I want to talk about something I get asked about quite often (I don’t know why honestly): finding your style. This is a real pain for some, and it was also for me! Going back to the intro to this post, I have to admit that Past Sara was someone completely different from Today’s Sara. I consumed art in the form of anime and manga and my style was (obviously) leaning more towards that style. Without shame, I can admit that if it wasn’t for FullMetal Alchemist I’d probably be elsewhere now.

We hear about finding your style a lot. How many videos and podcasts have you already consumed, trying to capture who knows what secret recipe to suddenly unlock that style everyone was talking about?

On my part, I can say: a lot. A ton. And they all said the same thing: you have to draw. Draw for a lot of time and draw a lot of different stuff. But drawing is hard, isn’t it? Sitting in front of a blank page, pencil in your hand, ready but for what?

A very important lesson I’ve learned in art school is that you just have to draw. Small doodles, nothing fancy, nothing beautiful. Draw a cat, a car, a carrot. My mom once bought some veggies and I just drew them, then I got sick and changed the subject. It doesn’t matter what, just draw.

Learning that I don’t have to be always perfect, made my art more fluent. Now there are so many things I want to try drawing that I just can’t pick sometimes. Of course I have some fav subjects, but some days I just go “Frick it, I wanna learn how to draw dogs with very long snouts.” (they’re super fun btw). I knew I liked things drawn in a very specific style, something childish and loose, colorful and suitable for children’s illustration. Bold textures and simple shapes always fascinated me, so I incorporated them as well. I knew where I wanted to go, and I was determined and also having fun, so I kept going! I drew such bad stuff sometimes but it was ok. Turn the page and start over.

And with that, unexpectedly, it came. I saw something I recognized myself in, something fun and that I enjoyed!

My friend always says that when we constantly look for things, we don’t find them. And I wasn’t trying to find my style or something, I was just sketching for fun. That daily sketch session to warm up, ya know?

I’m obviously still evolving, and I don’t think that I suddenly came up with something people will recognize me for (or they do? Who knows. That would be nice), but I learned a lot from this experience. Looking at my sketchbooks now, I can recognize myself a bit more, page after page.

This doesn’t mean to be some kind of lesson. “Learn how to find your style in 3 easy steps!!”. Nah. I’m not a teacher and I’m still waaay too inexperienced to teach something, but I think I’m on the right path to build something solid. Maybe you can get some inspiration from this :-)

Anyways! Book rec time!

This month’s book is something I’ve got for studying purposes: a silent book. That’s right, the only word this book has is the title itself! And that title is “Island” by Mark Janssen.

I got this wonderful book because I’m trying to come up with a silent book myself! And I needed to study a bit more: since words are such an important part of illustrated books, the complete lack of them makes storytelling very hard.

How do you tell a story without words? With colors.

And Janssen does that wonderfully.

I thought I was going to flip through that book for five seconds, because it’s mute and I don’t need to read anything: but I was wrong! I found myself observing each page for minutes, narrating a story in my head with every single detail I could see. And I think that’s a wonderful thing! It lets you write a story of your own, just with a few, wonderfully composed illustrations that pop with colors and textures.

Can you tell I fell in love with this book?

And with that, we’re done for April! Next month I’ll be very busy studying and preparing my finals, so I think I’ll tell you something about them. I’m currently finishing up a couple of book projects for school I’m very proud of and I can’t wait to show you :-)

I hope you have a wonderful day, a wonderful month and that you enjoyed this month’s newsletter illustration. If you want to get it, you have to subscribe to my newsletter to get notified whenever a blog entry gets posted :-)

Thank you so much for reading! Bye!!

#lunuula #blog #april2021 #illustratorchronicles #illustratorblog

1 note · View note

klcthebookworm · 4 years

Text

2020 My Year In Fic

2020 Fiction Word Count:

86691 / 126531 words. 69% done!

Insights To Not Forget:

So I had a beautiful plan that I was going to reset and hit the ground running for 2021. See Year Zero is Reset Year.

Covid-19 was officially found in my state March 9, 2020, and life found unforeseen territory.

March 24th, I had to adjust to working at home. June 1st, back to working in the office and commuting daily. November 30th, we're back on a modified work from home/office plan (day at home, next day commuting in). I haven't gotten sick and I haven't passed on covid-19 to anyone else. For 2020, that is the biggest win anyone can have. 1.83 million people (to date) didn't get that win.

Would I have forgotten about my buckle down and reset plans without a global pandemic distracting me? Quite likely, I tend to forget all my plans every year. In fact, the writing business plan that I made to cover the year (I use it below for all the goals of the year), the printed version is on my filing cabinet and covered with so many other notes, I can't read the plan. (Removed the notes). This is for 2019. I never printed out 2020's?

And you can see by the total words written, I came under what I wanted to write. Let's see what I accomplished this year.

Stories I Posted:

Star Wars: Sororal Lineality: Aftermath: Word count = 3309. The Fic Whining Circle was getting stories ready for May the Fourth. I decided that this story would be perfectly short to get it up and started writing on May 2nd. I didn't get it finished for May the Fourth, but put it up on Revenge of the Fifth. And then it turned out to be the only story I posted in 2020.

Stories I Finished:

Star Wars: Unexpected Consequences: Word count = 126,607 (31,008 written previously + 49,572 written in 2019 + 46,027). The first draft was finished on July 28th, and it took the rest of the year to get my first edits polished to a second draft for my beta to go over. Now I need to go prod her so I can start posting in 2021.

Star Wars: Sororal Lineality: MJ-0002: Word count = 5664 (387 written in 2019 + 5277). I finished this short story as planned after I finished Unexpected Consequences and before I picked up the next novel. I hope to post it after Unexpected Consequences, but I may need to use it for a May the Fourth story.

Stories I Didn't Finish:

Strix: Forget the Sun: Word count = 31,146 (26,588 written previously + 4279 written in 2019 + 279 written in January) I took a very tiny stab at this novel in January and promptly lost it to work on other things.

Star Wars: Looking For Home Future Timeline: Word count = 7598. So at the end of February, I got stuck on giving the Sequel Trilogy Trio better movie(s) and started writing detailed notes on a future story that will probably never been written. I had already put Rey and Poe Dameron in the sketchy future of the Looking For Home so I needed to figure out how to add Finn. I got stuck with the Third Act, and probably need to declare it has to be a trilogy to get the resolutions I want. Maybe I need a Death Star.

Star Wars: Everybody Lives But Maul: Another plot bunny developed during the year. Mara Jade was given to Darth Vader to annoy him so he would eventually murder her, but he bonds with her instead. So Palpatine orchestrates that Lady Vader's path crosses Maul's on Tatooine. Only Luke Skywalker and Biggs Darklighter ruin the planned outcomes, and Mara remains on Tatooine for her safety. I really don't know if it will be a novel or something else yet.

Star Wars: Everybody Lives But Maul: Prologue: Word count = 1385. So far all I have written in this AU is the scene of the adoption of Lady Vader. I don't know where this scene will end up in the finished work.

Star Wars: Rescue the Farmboy: Mission on Mimban: Word count = 22,882 (8093 written in 2019 + 14,789). After writing "MJ-0002," I came back to Mission on Mimban from the beginning. Still working on it.

What I Think About My Stories:

My favorite story this year: Star Wars: Unexpected Consequence. I can't wait to turn this one lose on the readers.

Story most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: Star Wars: Looking For Home: Future Timeline. I really need to spend some more brain time on this one if just to find a conclusion that makes me happy.

Most fun story: Everybody Lives But Maul. I really wasn't expecting to write it accept the idea would not leave the muse alone and then this happened:

KLCtheBookWorm: I really don't know what to do with Vader and Leia... unless he goes into her cell deactivates the IO droid and "Now Princess can we discuss waging war against Palpatine? Because he orchestrated my first family's death, has tried to kill my daughter, and your rebellion has made her flee her safe haven so he will potential see her again. He will not have her or my grandson." Sithspit, why does the muse want to rewrite OT constantly? JediMordsith: lolol Hmmm.... that could be interesting. Or he could go to Bail. "I will give you your daughter back if you help me get mine back." KLCtheBookWorm: YOU GAVE ME MORE PEOPLE TO HELP LIVE! JediMordsith: Bail convinces the rest of the Rebel leaders to work with Vader to take down the Emperor because he knows what a father's love is. KLCtheBookWorm: I always consider Alderaan's destruction a fixed point in time But the conversation between Bail and Mon Mothma. "You wanna do what now?"

Yeah, at that point I will write it.

Stories I wrote that I never thought I'd write: Star Wars: Everybody Lives But Maul. Technically I haven't really started the narrative, but really, Muse, was not expecting yet another rewrite of the OT. This one is the third, after Rescue the Farmboy and Sororal Lineality.

Hardest story to write: Star Wars: Looking For Home Future Timeline. I have never gotten stuck in which I couldn't finish off an outline. And this is so stuck.

Biggest disappointment: Strix: Forget the Sun. I did not even try for NaNo during the pandemic. (Huge props to everyone who did). I'm considering to do NaNo in April instead in 2021 to finish this novel.

Biggest surprise: I only posted ONE THING! I'm not beating myself up for any of the results of 2020 because it was garbage year, but I honestly didn't plan to leave my readers hanging so hard. On the plus side, they will have at least 30 weeks of new content to read in 2021.

What's your favorite piece of dialogue you wrote this year? From Star Wars: Sororal Lineality: Aftermath.

Luke opened his eyes to Leia’s suspicious face. “She was arguing with Threepio. I went the other way.” “So she couldn’t put you back in the medbunk.” Leia bounced to her feet and helped leverage him out of his seat. “You are going right back to it and staying in it until we reach the Fleet, Commander.” “Aye, aye, Colonel,” Luke replied with less than the banter he normally did. He leaned heavily on Leia, more than he should. Lando finished locking down the controls and followed behind them. “Colonel? Not a General?” “Not a General yet,” Luke responded with a wheezy laugh.

It took a while to figure out what Leia's military actual rank is based of costumes and plot actions in Empire Strikes Back. Major Bren Derlin didn't get a yes from Leia because she loves the two men out in the cold, but because she out ranks him.

What's your favorite piece of description or narration you wrote this year? From Star Wars: Soroal Lineality: MJ-0002.

The last one she dared to open was a recording. Her memory replayed on the screen: a child’s best dress colored green as the recorder tilted down, followed by looking back at the sad adults in the shadows of the shuttle’s lights. She heard the woman’s quavering voice, “Please, don’t take my baby.” Then the gnarled hand extended from the sleeve of the black robe and a tiny hand took it, and the recorder turned to the lit hatch at the top of the ramp. Mara's surroundings registered in waves after that. Her glutes were tingling as she shifted from sitting in a collapsed position on the floor. The floor was cold stone. The recording was playing on a loop above her head. She hadn’t fainted because she wasn’t flat on her back. She climbed up to her feet and shut off the playback. Now the title of the file burned into her retinas, Primary Memory Imprint for Murdering Judges Clone Line.

I can't wait to share this story with readers.

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would, less, or about what you predicted? Oh I came in under what I had aimed for, only writing to 69% of my goal that I set from what I wrote in 2019. But 2020 was a garbage year so I'm not beating myself up over word count results. As I went through the year though, I noticed that August and September were totally spent on just editing and no new words. That means I need to watch the schedule in 2021.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? I have officially started the write a series of short stories and keep them under 7500 words. I need more practice writing short, which is why I plotted Sororal Lineality this way.

Did you meet last year's goals?

That's a no, and boy, how is it a no. 2021 Goal is to not have Leeloo laugh at me.

The goals from my unprinted 2020 one-page business plan are:

Use Ali Luke's Two Year Novel Plan to finish the Strix series

January - May 2020: Finish Strix: Forget the Sun's first draft = Nope, not done yet.

June - October 2020: Finish Strix: Forget the Sun's second draft = Nope.

Writing Star Wars AU fanfics

Finish Unexpected Consequences' first draft = Done

Start writing Sororal Lineality = Two stories done out of 28

Finish Rescue the Farmboy: Mission on Mimban's first draft = Nope, but I am currently writing it.

Send Unexpected Consequences to beta reader = Done

Send Sororal Lineality stories to beta reader = Done

Edit Unexpected Consequences = In Progress

Edit Sororal Lineality stories = Done

Post regularly to Intentionally Left Blank, Dreamwidth, Discipline Under Fire, Tumblr Random Thoughts, Pillowfort = Do once a week on Saturdays = I haven't been doing this at all. Tumblr posts happen when I'm home but usually reposting and not anything I have written.

BookWorm's Library website maintenance = Work on once a week on Sundays = Really need to do this

Make sure the software is up to date once a month

Add any files that need adding

Add Media Center to BookWorm's Library = Work on once a week on Sundays = Hasn't happened yet

Create section

Make artwork

Code section

Upload files

Add more fanfics to AO3

Upload Zackverse in story order = Nope, not yet

Upload Star Wars: Unexpected Consequences when edited on Ao3 = In Progress

Upload Sororal Lineality stories when edited = In Progress

Upload Rescue the Farmboy: Liberation to FF.net and the Library when finished = Oops, forgot about this

Upload Rescue the Farmboy: One More Service to FF.net and the Library when finished = Oops, forgot about this

Post Star Wars: Unexpected Consequences to FF.net = In Progress

Post Star Wars: Unexpected Consequences to Library = In Progress

My daily writing plans to help the above list of goals get done:

Write 600 daily words. Can be split among the projects. I'm making the yearly goal to reach whatever number I actually reach on December 31st.

Write and edit every day.

Schedule website updates and fanmix work on the weekends.

Work in meditation time with Brain FM.

Use my Kanban Flow checklist consistently.

Don't let chores pile up now that you have two jobs plus writing to do.

Reward myself when goals are reached throughout my Reset Year.

Do you have any goals for the coming year? The goals from my 2021 one-page business plan are:

Use Ali Luke's Two Year Novel Plan to finish the Strix series

April - August 2021: Finish Strix: Forget the Sun's first draft (I'm going to push myself to get it done in by treating April as NaNo, but more time is available if I need it)

Sept. - Dec. 2021: Finish Strix: Forget the Sun's second draft

Writing Star Wars AU fanfics

Finish Unexpected Consequences' third draft

Finish Rescue the Farmboy: Mission on Mimban's first draft

Edit Rescue the Farm: Mission on Mimban to second draft

Send Rescue the Farm: Mission on Mimban to beta reader

Finish Rescue the Farm: Mission on Mimban third draft/li>

Finish Sororal Lineality: Miha first draft

Edit Sororal Lineality: Miha to second draft

Send Sororal Lineality: Miha to beta reader

Finish Sororal Lineality: Miha third draft

Writing Zackverse

Work on Hyrueliana's overhaul

Post regularly to Intentionally Left Blank, Dreamwidth, Discipline Under Fire, and Tumblr Random Thoughts = Do once a week

BookWorm's Library website maintenance = Work on once a week on Sundays

Make sure the software is up to date once a month

Add any files that need adding

Add Media Center to BookWorm's Library = Work on once a week on Sundays

Create section

Make artwork

Code section

Upload files

Add more fanfics to AO3

Upload Zackverse in story order

Upload Star Wars: Unexpected Consequences when edited on Ao3

Upload Sororal Lineality: MJ-0002 on Ao3 on May 4th

Reload Sororal Lineality: Aftermath on Ao3

Upload Soroal Lineality: Miha to Ao3

Upload Rescue the Farmboy: Liberation to the Library

Upload Rescue the Farmboy: One More Service to the Library

Post Star Wars: Unexpected Consequences to Library

Upload Looking For Home: My Home Is You to the Library

Upload Looking For Home: Outcast to Library

Upload Sororal Lineality: MJ-0002 to the Library

Upload Sororal Lineality: Aftermath to the Library

Upload Sororal Lineality: Miha

Update FF.net profile of where newer stories are now

My daily writing plans to help the above list of goals get done:

Write 600 daily words. Can be split among the projects. I'm making the yearly goal to reach whatever number I actually reach on December 31st.

Write and edit every day.

Schedule website updates and fanmix work on the weekends.

Work in meditation time with Brain FM.

Use my Kanban Flow checklist consistently.

Don't let chores pile up now that you have two jobs plus writing to do.

Here's to 2021. We'll get through it together.

#fic life #2020 goals #2021 goals #my year in fanfic

2 notes · View notes

humanemotionssuck · 4 years

Text

Hello 2021

January 2, 2021

I should’ve put these thoughts into words on the first day of the year but then again, I felt so lazy given this bed weather we are currently having. By far, I think I experienced the coldest temperature here in my hometown (21 degrees baby) and I’m sure not liking it as I prefer warm days.

I actually do not know how to start. I feel it’s necessary to check on how I am doing lately. Write the things I experienced last year and reflect on the lessons it taught me.

I could probably kick things off by remembering how 2020 started for me. I have a bad memory but I’ll try my best to recall them.

January

Broke up with J (yes this is probably one of the major and heartbreaking events happened to me). To sum it up, I realized that the relationship does not have growth anymore, and I am slowly drifting to follow my own path, which is to focus on the plans I want. I haven’t thought deeply the lessons I learned in my past relationship yet but one thing is for sure, I changed and I want to explore more of what I can do or what I’m missing out in life. Which brings me to attend seminars on how to work/study abroad. I attended a couple (e.g Fortrust Makati) and I also realized how costly it will be and I’m probably not yet ready esp. on the financial aspect.

February – March

Highlight on these months was I got back to dating apps again. I know it was a complete dick move. I haven’t moved on yet and here I am in the pool again. I met 2 guys from this app, Coffee Meets Bagel (which btw I uninstalled few months after). The first guy was the introvert but funny type and also VERY sexual. I got along with it, tried to do the deed but failed cause the guy hasn’t moved on from the ex yet. (Sucks right). And so I met this second guy and he is decent but we really had completely different personality. I believe this guy is also rich (he came from a Chinese family and I went to his house and saw the maid and his stuff). Can you also believe he already introduced me to his mom (no dad cause broken family), uncle and grandma. Pressured si ate gurl syempre cause it was really too early to do that step since we’re just dating but March was the most difficult month because…

START OF LOCKDOWN. PH was in state of panic after the government announced a nationwide lockdown due to increased COVID-19 transmission. I immediately went on a bus to the province fearing to get stuck in Manila.

April

Nah this was just a typical month. Summer vibes all over but since we cannot go to the beach we just setup an inflatable pool in the house to get soaked. I finally posted a pic wearing a swimsuit again. My stagnant IG feed came to life lmao

May

Oh boy. This month sucks so much. I got typhoid fever. Which I thought was COVID already cause my fever just won’t stop. My mom didn’t want me to get admitted in the hospital in the fear of being infected so I was hooked in the IV here in the house. I felt I was dying. I was in huge pain both physically and mentally. Which forced me to end any communication means with the second guy. He was not there when I was sick. I didn’t feel his concern even if we’re miles apart and I felt I was begging for his attention. It just won’t work. He blocked me in his socials (which is a first for me, usually I am the one who blocks lol) but given the current state I have now, I learned to accept it and chose to move forward.

June

Explored options on work/study program abroad. We got a new car (Xpander) which my father was able to purchase after borrowing money from us. That money could’ve been used for my Japan trip on December (plot twist it was cancelled due to fucking corona) but it’s okay I guess I’ll save another again.

I also got my student permit (yes I learned how to drive months after hehe)

July

THIS WAS MY BIGGEST DOWNFALL FOR THIS YEAR. There were some modifications in the quarantine and so my employer required and FORCED us to report on site in Makati despite of high number of positive cases. All I can say is SCREW THEM and I hope karma will do its thing on their business. The management.. the bosses.. they are all inconsiderate fucks for not allowing me to work at home instead. The situation forced me to resign but they chose to terminate me instead. The unemployment took its toll on my mental health, it caused me great depression and anxiety which forced me to look for distractions.. anything that will ease my mind.

Oh and btw, I bought my first laptop from hard earned money. Oh boy, it was satisfying to give myself the things my parents couldn’t afford that time I was still in school. It’s a gaming laptop and the one I’m using to type now. I absolutely love it and I used it to find online jobs later on..

I read Looking for Alaska by John Green again after watching the TV series on Hulu. Geez, this has to be my favorite book so far. The seeking of great perhaps.. which was very timely on my mood while having nothing else to do.

Lastly, TAYLOR SWIFT RELEASED A NEW ALBUM CALLED FOLKLORE. In the middle pandemic? Awesome right and this album kept me sane during this crazy and miserable month. Oh and on December, she released folklore’s sister album.. Evermore. Miss Swift saved me again with her music. This will definitely be one of the albums I will play when I’m old and gray knitting sweaters and wearing cardigan.

August

I started and finished my driving lesson in manual. JFC, I realized driving gives me a huge anxiety. One thing is for sure, I will prefer to drive automatic. Not driving that shit again.

I was still hooked with Looking for Alaska. Also purchased Subtle Art of not Giving a F*ck on the time I bought LFA.

On the other hand, I was also actively looking for new jobs this time.

September

ON SEPT. 30 I GOT HIRED! I was super happy to start on a new job. It gave me hope once again to continue on this journey called life. After almost 3 months, we are def back to business!

I also got the chance to get this Thyroid issue checked. Unfortunately, there was no major stuff going on with my thyroid. Basically, I’m perfectly healthy. What sucks is that the doctor invalidated my previous condition and said I only have ~anxiety which is the cause of my symptoms (excessive sweating and palpitations). I will seek professional help on this anxiety stuff anytime in the future.

Lastly, I played Grand Chase again and met someone in the game. Well technically we haven’t met yet but since then, I got used to talking with this guy and he is part of my daily routine now. I won’t spoil much details but as soon as this is all over, I can’t wait to meet this person :)

*cue Grand Chase soundtrack*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoK0bAjsHoo

October

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEE! It was a typical birthday. I don’t have much realizations. If I had one, I need to think thoroughly again lol.

Busy with training on the new job and this has been the most challenging training I ever had since I started working.

NOVEMBER

WORK WORK WORK. Super stressed and my anxiety was on the roof. I thought of giving up already but then again it was too early to quit. I haven’t seen my full potential on this job yet and so I chose to keep on fighting.

I also finally got braces. Let’s get these smiles fixed.

December

WORK WORK WORK AGAIN. My work caused me a huge anxiety cause I was given high priority cases -.-But overall, I can say the holidays went great. I finally got to spend time with the family outside. Don’t worry cause we still practiced precautions and I guess it wouldn’t hurt to go out once in a while to have some fresh air. We went to the beach and pretty much that’s the highlight of this month.

Things are getting serious with this guy I’m talking about.. Seriously, he makes me happy every single day.

I also won in Christmas raffle. Oppo phone. (I have the odds in my favor when it comes to raffles lol)

Feels weird to celebrate this holiday too thinking a lot of hardships were experienced in the last few months of quarantine. I was thinking about all the lives lost by covid and hoping they are in the peaceful place now..

JANUARY (NOW)

After everything that happened, oddly the start of the year gives me a sense of hope. Sure I am still carrying the trauma 2020 gave me but I am slowly leaving all of them behind. I want a fresh start and I want to let go of the things that gave me pain. I don’t have solid resolutions just like in my teenage years. Guess I’m too old for that. Not saying it’s okay to not have plans for the future and just go with the flow but I promise to not be too hard on myself and to not pressure myself on the goals I haven’t achieved yet. It’s really a struggle to plan things ahead given the situation but as always, I will do my best. I will stop comparing my progress to somebody else’s cause everyone has their own timeline.

I will listen to my heart and my mind to determine the things I really want. I promise to reevaluate the decisions I am making each day. I will not be afraid of making mistakes because that’s how I learn.

I am embracing my anxiety of uncertainty. It’s okay to feel afraid because I am always trying on how to overcome my fear. I strive each day because I am more than just a ball of anxiety. The palpitations.. the sweating.. they don’t define me. I have the power to control them and they won’t stop me from being the better version of myself.

#quaranthings #just quarantine thoughts #2020 #bye2020 #new year

5 notes · View notes

ataswegianabroad · 4 years

Text

Alone Amongst the Gum Trees Part 3 - It Was Murdoch All Along

NOTE - this article has been migrated to Medium. As of 2021, A Taswegian Abroad will be closed down, and all of my writing will be published on my Medium profile.

“For some time, Australia’s democracy has been slowly sliding into disrepair. The nation’s major policy challenges go unaddressed, our economic future is uncertain and political corruption is becoming normalised. We can’t understand the current predicament of our democracy without recognising the central role of Murdoch’s national media monopoly.

There is no longer a level playing field in Australian politics. We won’t see another progressive government in Canberra until we deal with this cancer in our democracy.”

- Kevin Rudd - THE CASE FOR COURAGE

Foreword

I started this as a brain dump on July 25th, 2016 just before I flew back to Australia for 4 weeks. I decided to wait to finish it as an “Alone Amongst the Gum Trees” piece after the 2016 US election as it would have directly impacted the outcome.

That was the plan, anyway. I forgot entirely that I had written this draft for almost 5 years. The next thing you know: it’s early 2021, I’m married, have a dog, a car, and my first child is due in August.

My last political opinion piece was from April 11, 2016: a piece on how Bernie Sanders was being treated in the lead-up to the 2016 presidential election.

So what happened from mid-2016 to early 2021? I didn’t jump back down the political commentary rabbit hole. No more rants on Tumblr blogs. No angry posts on Facebook. The odd spicy tweet about the current election happening between my old home (Australia), my new home (Canada) and the messed up cousin next door (United States). I instead chose to divert my love of writing to sports (see https://thefiftyfooty.com/), technology, and music.

From a political standpoint I chose to mostly stop talking, and to listen. Now don’t become misconstrued: I did not ignore it. I was very active over the Provincial and Federal Canadian elections of 2015 and 2019, I followed the unprecedented US political climate very closely given our proximity to the United States (and learned a lot in the process), and I voted in the most recent 2019 Australian election (my third from Toronto since leaving in 2012).

If I take a step back - I still need to be self-critical: I was defeated and I surrendered to the tidal-wave of the far-right. I was watching the US tear itself in two over race, alternative facts, and radical ideology. I was watching the UK go down a similar path with Brexit and Boris Johnson. I was watching my beloved homeland of Australia continue to confusingly elect damaging conservative governments despite the polls, trends, movements and more indicating it was time for a change.

As I matured into my late 20′s and now early 30′s (*gulp*) I was asking myself: was this how it was going to be? Did the western world just decide “we’re done with progressive views, let stick it in reverse for a bit and see how we go”? If that was true, then why did Canada buck this trend with Trudeau in 2015 & 2019? Why was New Zealand thriving under Arden after 2017 and 2020?

I went to a dark place on this.

But then something amazing happened. Enter former Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd talking about wanting a royal commission into Rupert Murdoch and his News Corp empire who control 70% of print media in Australia.

Did he say 70% of all print media in Australia?

I STRONGLY recommend taking 15 minutes to watch this video. It will do a much better job of painting the scene than I ever could. If not, you can still read on through.

youtube

After doing some looking into this: all I can say is that I didn’t have to dig very far to have my fire reignited. All I can think about now is this #MurdochRoyalCommission

My world view has changed, and what I am about to write next will explain a few things that I hope will change yours too.

This is not a left vs right piece. This is not a blame, shame, or complain piece either. I won’t curse or abuse, because this is a self reflection, a cry of encouragement, and a call to action to all who live in and want to protect the political integrity of democracy around the world.

I am here to explain my thought patterns with the goal of having at least one more person under the thumb of Murdoch’s “beast” realise just what’s going on, and to encourage that person to make more informed decisions knowing the facts.

The Path to En-frightened-ment

February 2014 was the last time I updated the long-form political arm of my blog. Back then as a young man exposed to his first bout of political and social disappointment after the 2013 Australian election - I felt the need to get it all out and I did in a little more linguistically brash Part 2 of “Alone Amongst the Gum Trees”.

I was in an interesting position then. I was a 23 year old finding his place in the world - personally, politically, spiritually, environmentally. I was mostly deciding whether or not I was done with Toronto and it if was time to stay home permanently after spending 3 months back in Australia.

I chose no. I left. I came back to Toronto and the rest is history.

Then one day a couple of years later I got us flights back to Australia for a visit. After nearly 3 years avoiding it (mostly because of my post-election distaste for Australian ignorance), it was time to bite the bullet and go home for a bit.

In 2014 I mentioned:

...let’s talk about Australia, how things changed, how it looked from outside the huge wall that the government apparently has built around the country now, and how it looks from a bloke who literally can not wait to leave again.

I had been anxious about that trip for a while. Not because I hadn’t seen everyone for so long or because it was my wife’s (then girlfriend who became my fiance on that trip) first time visiting, it was because Australia had a chance to move away from the “ignorance, inequality, narrow-minded idiocy, and over-conservatism” I mentioned in 2014.

But we didn’t. Turnbull won the 2016 election. I was so angry at the Australian people. I was so scared of that ignorant, greedy, racist, xenophobic, homophobic, narrow minded, privileged, climate denying creature that seems to be slowly devouring the planet.

From that point in time, all I could think about was some sort of big right-wing populist shift happening across the globe. Outside of the obvious ones: Trump in the USA, Johnson in the UK and Abbott/Turnbull/Morrison in Australia, there were a few more extreme cases: Putin in Russia, Marine Le Pen in France, Viktor Orban in Hungary. Then there’s Cambodia, Brazil, Turkey, Egypt etc who saw this as a huge advantage as well. It may not be the end of a progressive vision of the world but it definitely seemed like the beginning of a big switch.

One thing I learned during my political writing hiatus while serving my self-induced “exile” to Canada is that this country was one of the few blips in this trend. Why did Canada choose to elect Justin Trudeau in 2015, a left wing liberal, after 9 years of Harper’s conservative government? Was it simply because Canadians were good and fair people? Did they just fundamentally understand that you need both conservative and progressive governments to advance society? Perhaps they do, and Canadians are most definitely good and fair people regardless of election results. I am even set to become a Canadian citizen myself (and a dual-citizen overall) in 2021.

So where is this all coming from? Why are the United States, Australia and the United Kingdom on a continued path to segregation, protectionism, populism and division while Canada and New Zealand show basically zero of these tendencies?

The News Corp cancer that is Rupert Murdoch’s media empire is the deciding factor.

So What Does Kevin Rudd Have To Do With It?

Mr. Rudd has been living in the USA for the last 5 years and is firmly spearheading the charge in that Rupert Murdoch’s media behemoth “News Corp” has been unlawfully influencing Australian opinion and undermining elections in Australia, the United Kingdom, and the United States for close to 3 decades (more predominantly in the last 8 years).

Before you read any further I have to be transparent about my opinions of Kevin Rudd. I accredit his “Kevin 07″ campaign as the catalyst for my interest in politics, my decision to study economics at university, and my ongoing support for progressive policies in every federal and state election since 2007. His work has played a big part in shaping me into the person I am today.

Despite my positive position on Mr. Rudd, I am also disappointed he did not action this during his time as prime minister. However, I am “all in” when it comes to what he is standing for, and that is:

Eradicating monopolies in all forms (be it political, business, journalism, etc)

Improving media literacy to encourage fair and unbiased journalism

Avoiding the pitfalls of Murdoch's divisive influence on the USA happening to Australia

There’s a few key factoids to his claims of mass-media bias:

70% of print media in Australia is owned by ONE MAN: Rupert Murdoch (100% owned in Queensland)

Print media influences the national conversation on a daily basis

Rupert Murdoch owns the biggest YouTube channel in Australia (news.com.au)

The line between fact-based and opinion-based reporting continues to blur, resembling that of CNN (Democrats) and Fox (Republican) extreme partisanship in the USA

All of Murdoch’s papers have backed the Liberal/National party in all 19 out of the last 19 federal and state elections

The ABC is breaching the Australian Broadcasting Act of 1983 by not standing up to Murdoch media purely out of fear

Politicians are not standing up out of fear of character assassination

Whether or not Murdoch is backing left or right, Labor or Liberal, the question still remains:

Do you think it is healthy for a FOREIGN PRIVATE ENTITY to own a monopoly level of influence on a sovereign country’s political system for that private entity to use for their own personal gain through targeted media attacks and character assassinations?

Watch This Space...

There are utter mountains of evidence to accompany these claims, and to make sure you can digest what I am trying to say, I recommend that you sink your teeth into the following videos to validate and truly comprehend the size of the tumour we are dealing with:

Feb 20, 2020 - 1h - Friendlyjordies informal interview with Kevin Rudd

This is right before the Covid outbreak in March, which delayed Mr. Rudd’s ability to move for a formal commission into media bias

Provides excellent insight into the ABC’s lack of action, the opportunism of the Green party, and the complete absence of unbiased reporting in Australia

Feb 18, 2021 - 1h 30m - Kevin Rudd Officially Requesting Royal Commission to Australian Senate

The first 20-30 minutes provide Mr. Rudd’s summary of the situation

The remainder of the video consists of questions from both Labor and Liberal senators about Mr. Rudd’s claims

Mar 1, 2021 - 2m - Kevin Rudd speaks to Sunrise about the Murdoch monopoly

Mr. Rudd went on a national flagship morning show to discuss his concerns regarding News Corp

LISTEN to the questions being asked of him: completely disregarding his valid points and dismissing him as “sour grapes”

Channel 7 is not News Corp, so why try to discredit Mr. Rudd? Fear of being targeted by News Corp

Mar 9, 2021 - 1h - National Press Club: The Case for Courage

Mr. Rudd stands up in front of The National Press Club of Australia to promote the four big challenges facing Australia in his upcoming book “The Case for Courage”

He takes questions from journalists from both Murdoch and non-Murdoch media outlets

As I start to conclude this piece, for action to happen, an independent royal commission is required to get to the facts. Mr. Rudd already gathered over 500,000 signatures that were recently sent to Prime Minister Scott Morrison asking for the royal commission to take place, but this is not enough.

Even former Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull, a friend of Rupert Murdoch and political opposite to Mr. Rudd, signed the petition and said the following:

Mr Turnbull, a former Liberal prime minister, said the Murdoch media used to be a group of traditional right-leaning outlets but has now become "a vehicle of propaganda."

He told ABC television's Insiders program on Sunday that Australian democracy was suffering for allowing the "crazy, bitter partisanship" of social media to creep into the mainstream.

"We have to work out what price we're paying, as a society, for the hyper-partisanship of the media," Mr Turnbull said.

"Look at the United States and the terrible, divided state of affairs that they're in, exacerbated, as Kevin was saying, by Fox News and other right-wing media."

I recently sent a (somewhat long) letter to Mr. Rudd expressing my concern for the state of Australia’s media landscape, with it culminating in the following questions:

I am deeply moved and inspired by your bravery to take on "the beast" as you so aptly name it, and I want to boldly ask: how can I help? How can I get involved?

I am yet to hear back from Mr. Rudd himself - but I think if you’ve gotten this far, you know what I am about to say next.

I want to help, learn more, or get involved.

That’s amazing. We’re not asking for money, just action. Here’s some ways you can help is stop the rot:

SUBSCRIBE TO and FOLLOW direct updates from Kevin Rudd:

Website / Newsletters

https://newsroyalcommission.com/

https://kevinrudd.com/

Social media alongside the #MurdochRoyalCommission hashtag on all platforms:

Twitter

Instagram

Facebook

YouTube

Boycott News Corp media sites, publications, and channels

I’ve linked a list of all assets by News Corp above

This includes steering clear of ALL mediums of news owned by these publications and outlets including the respective:

Social media channels and pages

Television and radio news channels

Print and online newspapers and articles

SHARE and spread the word of this cancer affecting our democracy

Talk TO your friends and family (not AT them) and LISTEN to their views - people are not dumb: this will make sense if given time to digest

WATCH the videos posted above as a start, alongside a few more recommendations:

This interview between Friendly Jordies and former Labor Leader Bill Shorten from earlier in March 2021

I learned more about Bill Shorten in the last 20 minutes of this interview than I did in his entire run as opposition leader.

This just goes to show you how utterly mistreated he was by Murdoch media

For a laugh - every episode of Kevin Rudd: PM from Rove McManus’ late night show

I want Australia to remain a safe, secure, and lucky country to raise my family in someday. I care about this very much and plan to ramp up my content around this until we are free from the Murdoch beast and its lies.

Thank you so much for reading, as always, I am happy to discuss.

List of Murdoch (News Corp) Owned Outlets [Expanded Below]

Television

Foxtel (65%)

Australian News Channel

Fox Sports Australia

Streamotion

Fox Sports News

Fox Cricket

Fox Footy

Fox League

Kayo Sports

Binge

Sky News Australia

Sky News Weather

Sky News Extra

Sky After Dark

Australia Channel (News Streaming channel)

Sky News New Zealand

Sky News on WIN

Internet

Punters.com.au — Australian horse racing and bookmaker affiliate.

SuperCoach

Australia Best Recipes

hipages

odds.com.au

Mogo

One Big Switch

Knewz, a news aggregator

Realestate.com.au

Advertising, Branding & Tech

Global

Storyful

News UK

bridge studio

wireless Group

wireless studios

urban media

First Radio

Switchdigital

TIBUS

ZESTY

News Corp Australia

SUDDENLY - Content Agency

Medium Rare Content Agency

HT&E (Here, There & Everywhere)

News Xtend

Radio

News UK & Ireland

wireless Group

talkSPORT

talkSPORT 2

talkRADIO

Virgin Radio

FM104

Q102

96FM

c103

Live 95FM

LMFM

U105

Scottish Sun 80s

Scottish Sun Hits

Scottish Sun Greatest Hits

Times Radio

Magazines and Inserts (digital and print)

News Corp Australia

Big League

body+soul

Broncos

Business Daily

delicious

Escape

Foxtel

GQ Australia

Hit

Kidspot

Mansion Australia

Motoring

Sportsman

Super Food Ideas

taste.com.au

The Deal

The Weekend Australian Magazine

Vogue Australia

Vogue Living

Whimn

Wish

News & Magazines (digital and print)

News UK

The Sun

The Times

The Sunday Times

Press Association (part owned, News UK is one of 26 shareholders)

The TLS (Times Literary Supplement)

News Corp Australia

The Australian including weekly insert magazine The Deal and monthly insert magazine (wish)

The Weekend Australian

Australian Associated Press

news.com.au

New South Wales

The Daily Telegraph

The Sunday Telegraph including insert magazine sundaymagazine

Victoria

Herald Sun

Sunday Herald Sun including insert magazine sundaymagazine

Lions Raw

Samizdat

Queensland

The Courier-Mail including weekly insert magazine QWeekend

The Sunday Mail

Brisbane News

South Australia

The Advertiser including the monthly insert The Adelaide magazine

Sunday Mail

Tasmania

The Mercury

The Sunday Tasmanian

Northern Territory

Northern Territory News

Sunday Territorian

Community suburban newspapers

Cumberland/Courier (NSW) newspapers

Blacktown Advocate

Canterbury-Bankstown Express

Central

Central Coast Express Advocate

Fairfield Advance

Hills Shire Times

Hornsby and Upper North Shore Advocate

Inner West Courier

Liverpool Leader

Macarthur Chronicle

Mt Druitt-St Marys Standard

NINETOFIVE

North Shore Times

Northern District Times

NORTHSIDE

Parramatta Advertiser

Penrith Press

Rouse Hill Times

Southern Courier

The Manly Daily

The Mosman Daily

Village Voice Balmain

Wentworth Courier

Leader (Vic) newspapers

Bayside Leader

Berwick/Pakenham Cardinia Leader

Brimbank Leader

Caulfield Glen Eira/Port Philip Leader

Cranbourne Leader

Dandenong/Springvale Dandenong Leader

Diamond Valley Leader

Frankston Standard/Hastings Leader

Free Press Leader

Heidelberg Leader

Hobsons Bay Leader

Hume Leader

Knox Leader

Lilydale & Yarra Valley Leader

Manningham Leader

Maribyrnong Leader

Maroondah Leader

Melbourne Leader

Melton/Moorabool Leader

Moonee Valley Leader

Moorabbin Kingston/Moorabbin Glen Eira Leader

Mordialloc Chelsea Leader

Moreland Leader

Mornington Peninsula Leader

Northcote Leader

Preston Leader

Progress Leader

Stonnington Leader

Sunbury/Macedon Ranges Leader

Waverley/Oakleigh Monash Leader

Whitehorse Leader

Whittlesea Leader

Wyndham Leader

Quest (QLD) newspapers

Albert & Logan News (Fri)

Albert & Logan News (Wed)

Caboolture Shire Herald

Caloundra Journal

City News

City North News

City South News

Ipswich News

Logan West Leader

Maroochy Journal

North-West News

Northern Times

Northside Chronicle

Pine Rivers Press/North Lakes Times

Redcliffe and Bayside Herald

South-East Advertiser

South-West News/Springfield News

Southern Star

The Noosa Journal

weekender

Westside News

Wynnum Herald

Weekender Essential Sunshine Coast

Messenger (SA) newspapers

Adelaide Matters

City Messenger

City North Messenger

East Torrens Messenger

Eastern Courier Messenger

Guardian Messenger

Hills & Valley Messenger

Leader Messenger

News Review Messenger

Portside Messenger

Southern Times Messenger

Weekly Times Messenger

Community (WA) newspapers

(50.1%) (Formerly)

Advocate

Canning Times

Comment News

Eastern Reporter

Fremantle-Cockburn Gazette

Guardian Express

Hills-Avon Valley Gazette

Joondalup-Wanneroo Times

Mandurah Coastal / Pinjarra Murray Times

Melville Times

Midland-Kalamunda Reporter

North Coast Times

Southern Gazette

Stirling Times

Weekend-Kwinana Courier

Weekender

Western Suburbs Weekly

Sun (NT) newspapers

Darwin Sun

Litchfield Sun

Palmerston Sun

Regional and rural newspapers

New South Wales

Tweed Sun

Tweed Daily News

Victoria

Echo

Geelong Advertiser

GeelongNEWS

The Weekly Times

Queensland

Bowen Independent

Burdekin Advocate

Cairns Sun

Gold Coast Bulletin

Gold Coast Sun

Herbert River Express

Home Hill Observer

Innisfail Advocate

Northern Miner

Port Douglas & Mossman Gazette

Tablelander – Atherton

Tablelands Advertiser

The Cairns Post

The Noosa News

The Sunshine Coast Daily

Townsville Bulletin

Toowoomba Chronicle

Townsville Sun

weekender

Daily Mercury (Mackay)

Tasmania

Derwent Valley Gazette

Tasmanian Country

Northern Territory

Centralian Advocate

International

Papua New Guinea

Papua New Guinea Post-Courier (63%)

United States

New York Post

Wall Street Journal

realtor.com

Move (80%)

Dow Jones & Company

Consumer Media Group

The Wall Street Journal – the leading US financial newspaper

Wall Street Journal Europe closed

The Wall Street Journal Asia closed

Barron's – weekly financial markets magazine

Marketwatch – financial news and information website

Financial News

Heat Street - news and opinion website

Mansion Global - global luxury property website

Enterprise Media Group

Dow Jones Newswires – global, real-time news and information provider.

Factiva – provides business news and information together with content delivery tools and services.

Dow Jones Indexes – stock market indexes and indicators, including the Dow Jones Industrial Average. (10% ownership)

Dow Jones Financial Information Services – produces databases, electronic media, newsletters, conferences, directories, and other information services on specialised markets and industry sectors.

Betten Financial News – leading Dutch language financial and economic news service.

Strategic Alliances

STOXX (33%) – joint venture with Deutsche Boerse and SWG Group for the development and distribution of Dow Jones STOXX indices.

Wireless Group

Talksport

TalkRadio

Books

HarperCollins

4th Estate

Collins

Ecco Press

Harlequin Enterprises

Harper Perennial

Harper Voyager

Kappa Books

Modern Publishing

Unisystems Inc.

Zondervan Publishing

Christian publishing company taken over by HarperCollins in 1988

Inspirio – religious gift production

#murdochroyalcommission #rudd #auspol #politics

1 note · View note

spotlessvast · 4 years

Text

jetsam and flowers

the boundary between winter and summer is ever so thin on a march day, but time moves like molasses on naked trees in lukewarm air. april teases you with hope and snatches it with rain of its final day, instead of giving rain to steptember to quench the dry grass previously scorched by flames. november and december feels more wintery than the real middle of winter, but it only ever snows in february anymore. life is delayed, and holiday shopping is no exception. i'm a stranger among sisters, and i haven't told them what i want yet. an adult among children, a child among adults. out of place everywhere i go.

frigid december air eats at my already dry face and the only moisture left is the mist underneath my eyelashes. i pull my turtleneck over my nose and hesitate behind them. brick wall buildings are intimidating if they're just the right shade of red, with only steel and no wood. the bricks are a staple rather than an accent, and they clash with the cobalt all too well. inside the store is much warmer, and a little crowded. everyone runs off in different directions, but i stay in place while the whole store morphs around me.

i don't want to be here, i thought. i don't like being here. i don't belong here. i already made a mistake showing myself to these girls and offering even the slightest of my obligations; now i can't escape. with eyes of an artist i observe every small detail in the faceless mannequins and faceless advertisements. consumerism is a soul-sucking disease. apparently, the younger you're exposed to it, the more it affects you.

holiday shopping season is when i miss the summer the most. after the new year, all i see in front of me are days of pre-summer. i wait, and i watch, and i wait again. hoping that this next spring, this next summer, will happen the same with the same old people, except nothing bad happens this time. it's almost pathetic, but there's nothing else to do except wander and wait. summer comes around, and i'll end up hating the heat. it gets hotter and hotter each year, colder and colder each year, and earth's denizens continue to worry themselves. why is consumerism the only medicine they can find? don't they know it's temporary? don't they know it's—

"excuse me sir, no loitering in the entrance."

right, i'm still by the entrance.

i'm outta this joint.

hey, i don't like automatic spinning doors! i don't like self-playing pianos either! automatic spinning doors are less scary than self-playing pianos, but i see more automatic spinning doors in my life. and this store inside the mall had one. it must have been a really fancy one before undergoing renovation, because why else would it have an automatic spinning door? sidestep to the sway of glass walls, don't get crushed by bricks. avoid the consumerist death trap. i'm rewarded with warm april air and a pencil sunset.

unconventionally. sunsets don't usually happen at this time of day during this time of year. it got dark before we even got to the store. however, this was unmistakably the same air as late april despite it being december when we walked in. i exhaust myself trying to figure out what the hell just happened, when i'm snapped back to the present by short haired guy bumping into my shoulder pretty damn hard. and first of all, ow. second of all, upon closer look it appears that i know this guy.

he gathered himself and spoke; "long time no see."

"haha, yeah."

he didn't bump into me, he was knocked flying in my direction, and i realize that now upon hearing a voice as equally enraged as it was collected.

the fancy-looking guy connected to the voice sighed, put his hands in his pockets, and sighed as a trail of smoke followed his footsteps. "well, this isn't the best place to continue a fight. we should move elsewhere." he paused, then made eye contact with me. "oh, hello there."

i stare for a few seconds and then wave. "what the fuck are you two doing here?" i turn my head back to the entrance. it's no longer a mall, but a warehouse. who knows what could be inside it. either way, it does look like a good place to continue a fight, so why would he give it up now...?

"what does it look like?" the short-haired guy said.

"fighting."

"precisely. also, he started it." the fancy-looking guy pointed at the short-haired guy.

"haha, man. you must've done a number on him to get him all the way out here." i gave the short-haired guy a nudge to the side.

"we have unfinished business," he said, matter-of-factly.

i let them bicker it out for another two minutes while i shove my face against the window to the warehouse. it doesn't look like anyone's inside, but there's some lights on the ceiling and a bunch of junk scattered around. i go inside anyway, just to see if it'll take me back to the mall.

it doesn't.

funky.

maybe i forgot the twists i went through on my way out. it'd make sense, though. i ended up in a different parking lot than i started in. malls are fucking huge. sometimes they have storage warehouses, but usually they're not so out in the open like that.

what's weirder than the situation of my current whereabouts is the fact that i know these guys, but never learned their names. oh well, it's fair that they never learned mine, either. i just know them as "this guy" and "that guy," and they probably know me as "that motherfucker."

"hey, so," i start. i wait for a response, but there is none. "y-"

and then there's the response from the fancy-looking guy. "hm?"

i pause. "a mall warehouse is a pretty damn good place for a fight, though."

"but you shouldn't be in the middle of this fight," says the short-haired guy, slugging behind me.

"so what? if one of you gets knocked into me, i could probably take it."

there was silence.

"if i may ask, what brings you here in the first place?" asks the short-haired guy.

i shrug. "dunno." and i was telling the truth. i would've told him about holiday shopping, my family, but with every step i take i feel myself growing more and more distant from that. i never really liked spending winter with them, anyway. a liar among sisters. and it's not december anymore, anyway.

a soft april breeze courses through the vast emptiness of the storage warehouse. that's how i can tell the most.

time passes.

time always passes.

time passes, and we end up talking about things i don't care for talking about any longer. my throat is stuffed by ghosts of the past and wrung out with the presence of more friends who tagged along. i was told of a secret hiding spot near the outskirts of the city. an abandoned spot reincarnated to an underground mall with super fucking good pizza. or at least, that's what the guy with the fur collar said.

he stumbled onto the conversation between myself and the short-haired guy and the fancy-looking guy and immediately caught them silent. he always dominated conversations, but had a knack for keeping the listener interested in what he had to say. or maybe i'm the only listener who cares, and i'm an exception who's easily entertained. either way, it's easy to get lost in his stories. i want that pizza.

i tell him i wanna go there, and he leads me out of the warehouse. for a moment, we're the only two people in the world. in the next moment, we're surrounded by hurried shoppers exiting the store i walked into first. and i hate the atmosphere here, but he makes it bearable.

...but where did the others run off to?

probably to finish their fight, or be petty.

"where...are we?" asks the guy with the fur collar.

"i dunno," i say, and i'm telling the truth. i don't remember the name of this place, or how i got here, i just know that i was here to pick up some things for some people that i don't give a shit about.

i try to say more, but my breath runs out before my sentences can end. it's horrible. and suddenly, i'm alone again in a crowd of faceless consumerists running in and out. they get too close, and they'll infect me with their consumerist germs. i put my hands over my face to protect myself, but my hands are bare too. i cover my face like i'm about to cough into my arm, and run.

i trip over a speed bump and land face first into a junk pile outside the ruins of a five-story parking lot.

somehow, every scratch and bruise on my face, arms, and legs were more bearable than going home that night. am i even going home? home is a snare trap on my spinal cord.

the fancy-looking guy grabs me by the shirt collar and pulls me up to eye contact. he narrows his gaze and stares needles through me. "you look like hell. what happened to you?"

"a lot." i can speak now, but i'll have to limit my words. can't waste my breath. "friend's gone."

he just sighs. "shouldn't you go home?"

i flinch. i don't want to go home, so i shake my head side to side.

his grip softens with his gaze, and i fall softly to the ground. my wounds hurt, though i can still walk. it's not like i'm going limp anytime soon, it's just a bit of blood. my top lip tastes like iron...

following my instincts, i walk slow behind him. thinking about it now, he wanted to get away from me or just be left alone in general. those who want to go somewhere always look for directions, and i'll ask him for directions. i dunno what it is about him, but i can't leave him alone.

beneath every step i take, the ground changes shape. what was once a tar road became a narrow dirt path with flowers tangling down and mossy rocks peeking out. the dirt turns into mud, and suddenly i'm walking through a lake while seasonless night sky reflects on the water's surface. i'm watching his footsteps. his shoes are getting wet, his socks are getting wet, and they look expensive. i feel sorry for him, almost.

oh well, he could afford new socks and shoes. wouldn't even have to go through all the trouble of washing them.

a wood fence turns into a brick wall and we walk out of the alleyway. no longer choked up, i try to speak again. i breathe in, and before i can say anything, he turns his head to face me and says; "what?"

we sit down on the curb outside the mall.

"did your parents hate you, too." a ghost spoke through my mouth.

crestfallen, he said nothing. i caught a glimpse of a cut on his neck, just the size of a fingernail.

who am i trying to escape? where am i trying to escape to? i don't need words from you. he's not saying anything. i want to go home to my friends. this world isn't real, and this unreal world is happening in all the right places at all the wrong times. april is the real beginning of the year, and september is the real end. everything in between is suspension between beginnings and ends, and i'm unsure what to do. did my parents hate me? did your parents hate you, too? are they even mine? i am a chameleon among the norm, and my faces aren't dictated by my own will.

are you a social chameleon too? is it my choice to pile on images to fit a role?

"we don't have parents."

a pair of empty hands carry murky pond water in their palms as they ache to be touched by something real. who those hands belong to, is unknown.

and somehow, i know.

i don't have to go back inside to buy flowers.

why couldn't it have been you, instead?

and if i may see you once more in the past can i say "if you are to die soon or quickly can you die pretty" like a famous movie so i can rest against your shoulders, guiltless, and spill all my bottled up muddy secrets.

the guy with the fur collar catches up to me with the rest of his ensemble. it's about time to go home. out of the corner of my eye i see three strangers pushing a full shopping cart.

#spilled ink #short stories #writers on tumblr #surrealism

1 note · View note

savannahsdrabbles · 5 years

Text

Adaptation (Encounters-verse)

rating: PG summary: Despite the general happiness among their small family, April learns that at least one family member holds resentment about their situation.

notes: :D Sorry that this took so long to finish! 6.8k words, Ao3 link here

Even after nearly two months of regularly walking through the sewers, April still couldn’t help but feel the taddest bit unnerved whenever she ventured through the massive concrete maze alone. The flickering lights lining abandoned maintenance tunnels did little to cast aside the shadows that loomed around each corner, and the constant shuffling of small rodents and bugs along the ground still made her stomach turn ever so slightly.

However, for once in its existence, the sewer was definitely dryer than the same path above ground.

It was almost impossible to hear the thunder and lightning crashing through the thick layers of concrete and rebar over her head, but the rushing dark water that ran through the center of the tunnels was evidence enough that the storm had not yet let up. A chill had also fallen in the sewers as a result of the water, making April wish she had grabbed a second jacket that morning to replace her currently wet one. She stomped her feet a little harder as she walked, teeth chattering slightly as she picked up her pace.

It had been raining hard all morning, so she hadn’t been too surprised when her school’s lights suddenly shut off– though it apparently caught enough students off guard that the hallway was immediately filled with the piercing shrieks of dozens of sixth graders. Still, she couldn’t help but feel a buzz of excitement when the principal had come over the speaker and announced that they were sending everyone home due to the weather.

April’s mom typically worked weekdays at the hospital, so the young girl was used to coming home in the afternoon to an empty apartment. However, with school closing at noon today, that meant that she now had five hours of alone time to kill – and she wasn’t intending on spending any of it actually alone.

Bursting through the school doors with her backpack serving as a makeshift umbrella, April left a quick message on her mom’s cell to explain the situation and say that she was spending the rest of the school day at a friend’s house. She promised to text if anything changed and would still be home in time to start dinner, and then hung up as she darted into the nearest subway station.

To no surprise, she could hear the guys laughing and yelling before she even reached the alcove where their train car home was parked. April grinned as she heard young voices bouncing through the tunnels, punctuated by raucous laughter from the turtles and the occasional paternal warning from Splinter. Despite how they might appear on the outside, the guys really did seem like four normal, rambunctious little boys.

“Throw the ball my direction! Over here!”

“Donnie, the point is for us not to know where you are, remember?” Leo’s voice reminded with a laugh.

“I know- but you guys never chase me right!” Donnie’s responded, voice high and pinched with frustration.

“No, I’ve got the ball! Chase me!” Mikey laughed, immediately followed by the sound of thundering footsteps and a shriek of excitement.

“Hey, guys!” April chirped, announcing her presence as she rounded the last corner and hopped down onto the subway tracks. The five mutants froze and perked up immediately, heads swiveling to face her. To April’s surprise, the four boys’ eyes were covered – their color coded bandanas had been twisted around to obscure their vision, forcing them to fumble blindly through the alcove.

“April?”

“It’s April!”

“April!”

Before she had time to react, several pairs of arms wrapped around her waist and April found herself being whisked off of her feet. She’d come to expect this from the boys – although they tolerated the cool sewers and temperatures, their heat-seeking nature called for lots of hugs and physical closeness. However, almost as soon as she had left the ground, April felt herself being hurriedly put back on her feet and stepped away from.

Raph fumbled with his bandana and stuck out his tongue in displeasure as the other boys followed suite. “Ew, April – you’re all cold and wet!”

April laughed and shrugged off her damp jacket to reveal a slightly drier long-sleeved shirt. “Yeah, I got caught in the rain on the way down here. I was hoping I would dry off a bit by the time I made it, but I guess not.”

“You should have let me know that you were coming, April,” Splinter admonished as he joined the small gathering around the human girl. The rat’s ears were tucked against his head in concern as he took the jacket from April and motioned for everyone to follow him back into their home. “If I’d known that you were on the way, I would have met you – the concrete and ladders can get very slippery during the rain, and you could have been hurt.”

April blushed slightly at the correction. He was right – it probably would have been a good idea to call ahead. “Sorry, Splinter. School let us out because of the storm and my mom isn’t expecting me to be home until later, so I figured now would be a good time to hang out.”

“So we all get to hang out the rest of the afternoon?” Leo grabbed onto April’s arm and bounced excitedly, making the girl stumble slightly. Even though three of the four boys were smaller than she was, they still weighed a heck ton. “Best! Day! Ever!”

Splinter reached out and laid a hand on top of the red-eared slider’s head, slowing down his bouncing until the turtle finally landed solidly on two feet and released April’s imprisoned arm. With a small sound of approval, the rat ducked into their home and hung April’s jacket over the humming space heater that had been set up in the boys’ school area. “That’s another reason it would have been a good idea to call ahead. This weather has had me thinking more about the fact that we need to relocate soon, and I had plans to go out.”

Mikey pushed his way past his brothers and pulled himself onto the steps, brow creased in concern. “Wait – like we’re moving?”

“Yes, Orange.” Splinter patted Mikey’s head as he returned to the doorway and looked down at the small crowd. Even though she and Splinter were nearly the same height, watching the way that the boys solemnly listened to their father reminded April that this small creature was roughly thirty years her senior. “We’ve discussed this before – we’re already outgrowing this home, and it is about time we start looking for one that is more prepared for the elements and for housing four rowdy boys. Plus… it would be nice to have room for a bigger TV.”

“And maybe room for me to build stuff?” Donnie’s hopeful voice piped up from where he stood beside April. He’d been uncharacteristically quiet since April had arrived, hanging back from his brothers and still looking frustrated about the game that they had been playing. April looked down at him.

It was only then that she noticed Donnie was still wearing his ever-present backpack – though she guessed that she shouldn’t be too surprised. In the two months that she and the turtles had been friends, April had never seen the purple-clad boy without his backpack on. She’d asked about it before, inquiring as to what he was constantly carrying around with him, but Donnie had always found a way to dodge her questions or change the topic. Whatever was inside it, he clearly was not keen on discussing. Maybe it was full of tools and things to tinker with? That would definitely fit his character, but she imagined that it would have been easier for him to play without the hinderance– surely the material slowed down his movements or rubbed uncomfortably on his shoulders.

“We will see, Purple,” Splinter gave a half nod, and April could see Donnie wilt slightly at his lack of enthusiasm. “As I said, I was planning to go scouting for a new area this afternoon, but I suppose that since we have a guest…”

“Oh, don’t let me stop you!” April turned back to the rat and waved her hands in front of her. “You can go – I really just wanted to get out of the rain. I’m totally cool with hanging out alone with the guys.”

After a few minutes of debating, Splinter finally agreed to leave the five children at home with strict instructions not to wander off or fight – he entrusted a small, recently scavenged hand radio to Mikey and told him to spill the beans if anything went down in his absence. With a few more guidelines about lunch and a promise to be back in time to walk April home, the robed rat was gone.

“So April, have you ever played Bandana Ball?” Raph asked hopefully as picked up the tennis ball they had been playing with and tossed it to her.

“She couldn’t have, Raffle,” Leo leapt into the air and caught the ball before April could even raise her hands. The red eared slider landed gracefully and bowed to his older brother, a smug grin on his face. “Donnie made it up, remember?”

The bespectacled turtle at April’s side shrugged, sticking out his foot to trip Leo as he attempted to waltz away. The blue boy landed on his plastron with a heavy OOF, the ball slipping from his hands and bouncing back up into Donnie’s waiting palm. “Well, I kind of did. It’s basically just Marco Polo mixed with catch and football. I just made up the rules.”

April watched as Leo rolled onto his shell, half expecting him to launch upwards and tackle Donnie, but was surprised when the turtle settled on kicking his brother’s feet out from under him and then darting away. The braniac child stumbled, arms waving as he caught his balance, and then cast a frustrated scowl at his Leo’s retreating form. As if sensing an imminent argument, Mikey chose this moment to seemingly materialize near his purple brother and offered him comforting pat on the shoulder. In the same quick move, he snatched the tennis ball from Donnie’s hands and clambered up onto April’s back.

“Yeah, Donnie came up with the idea. Basically we all blindfold ourselves, and then we have to use ninja skills to figure out who has the ball and get it from them– like in Lou Jitsu’s movie ‘Blinded by Barbarians’. Once you have it, you have to bring the ball to the far side of the tunnel without being stopped. If you get tackled, you immediately lose – but that’s also the most funnest part!”

“Not if you don’t play fairly,” Donnie huffed quietly in frustration, but Mikey didn’t seem to notice as he scrambled back down April’s back and onto the ground.

“We can play a few rounds first so that you can see how it works, but then do you wanna play?”

“Totally!” April shook her head, casting aside curious thoughts about Donnie as determination swelled in her chest. She made a fist and punched it into her other palm. “April O’Neil is ready for action!”

“So is Leo… Nardo!” Leo yelled, spinning his mask around to blind himself. The other boys followed suite – Donnie removing his glasses and sitting them to the side -and all immediately crouching down in anticipation. The sound levels in the alcove dipped for a moment as the four turtles slowly began to circle each other, arms out and palms down as they tensed for movement. It was then that something inside of April told her that she needed to step back – and not a moment too soon.

“Think fast!” Mikey bellowed as he suddenly whipped the dingy tennis ball across the tunnel. Instantly, the lair exploded into chaos. The ball whizzed past April, nearly brushing the top of her head as she leapt back onto the train car’s steps.

“I’ve got it!” Donnie dove forward, arms outstretched as the ball hit the wall inches in front of him and then rocketed back towards the other end of the tunnel where Leo was already waiting. The slider leapt into action, climbing up a confused Raph’s shell and launching himself into the air with hands waving wildly. Unfortunately his timing was off, as he dropped to the ground while the ball fell directly into Raph’s waiting hands.

The snapping turtle let out a gleeful laugh and stumbled forward, feet sweeping the ground in front of him as he scampered towards the goal area. April opened her mouth to cheer Raph on, but an orange blur suddenly zipped forward and crashed against his plastron, sending both turtles sprawling on their shells.

“Gotcha!” Mikey crowed proudly, hands patting the plastron of his brother experimentally before he gave a satisfied nod. “Gotcha, Raphie!”

“You ain’t got nothing,” Raph laughed as he knocked the younger boy off and rolled to his feet. “The ball went that way!”

Sure enough, the ball had rolled several yards away, and was now balanced on top of the train tracks behind their home. April watched in amusement as all four boys stumbled around, bent at the waist and frantically sweeping their hands across the ground in hopes of finding their treasure. A fleeting image of one of the turtles clutching the ball to their chest and hissing warningly for no one to touch their ‘precioussssss’ crossed April’s mind, and she couldn’t help but laugh.

Suddenly Leo was on the move. The blue masked turtle finally found the ball and took off silently towards the tunnel wall – only for Donnie to lock onto his location and throw himself forward chest first.

Leo let out a shocked laugh as he was knocked to the ground and landed heavily on his back. “Whoa – nice tackle, D!”

Donnie snorted dismissively, making April frown. Leo had seemed genuine in his compliment – why was Donnie brushing it off so flippantly? As she continued to watch, the purple masked turtle took off running towards the opposite end of the tunnel. His movements were more calculated than Raph’s had been, as if navigating without his eyes was just a simple problem to fix rather than a handicap. However, unlike Leo’s and Raph’s attempts to move quietly to avoid detection, Donnie move loudly and purposefully – almost daring the others to come and get him.

Mikey was the first to take the bait and chase after his brother, but April could tell that his own movements lacked the wild, reckless enthusiasm he’d had when tackling Raph. The small turtle jogged alongside Donnie, seeming to time his steps, before he finally dropped and latched onto his target’s ankles.

The older boy stumbled forward, arms pinwheeling for the second time that day before he toppled and fell ungracefully onto his plastron. April heard him give a small grunt when his chin hit the ground, and she tensed. Owch – that had to hurt.

Mikey had apparently heard it too, as he immediately sat up and started to reach for his blindfold. “Oops – are you ok, Donnie?”

“Yes!” Donatello pushed himself back onto his knees and groaned in exasperation. Across the alcove, the other two boys had frozen in their spots and were listening intently to the exchange. “You guys have to stop doing that – you have to treat me the same as everyone else!”

“But I wasn’t– ”

“Yes you did – you held back.” Donnie let out another frustrated sound, and then reached out to pull the blindfold back over Mikey’s eyes. “I’m not fragile. Just HIT ME.”

Before Mikey could respond, Donnie was on his feet and tossed the ball into the center of the alcove.

The game was back on. The ball bounced back and forth across the tunnel, sometimes carried by one turtle and other times being chased after by a cartoonish swarm of flailing limbs. This went on for several minutes, to the point that April began to wonder if anyone was going to be able to secure the ball for long enough to get it where it needed to be.

Eventually, Donnie made his move. He snatched the tennis ball as it soared through air and dribbled it on the ground, then began to jog in the direction of the wall. This time was different than his last attempt, though – he moved silently and kept his mouth closed, allowing no sound to give away who exactly had the ball or where it was in space. Even the rustle of his backpack was muffled as Donnie used his free hand to pull the straps tight against his body. April watched as he ran, glancing over his shoulder to track his brothers’ movements.

“I hear it!” Raph called out, pointing in the general direction of Donnie and then surging forward.

April tensed – this didn’t look good.

The smaller boy had almost made it to the far end of the tunnel, when he suddenly planted his feet and turned to face his brother head on. The snapping turtle kept moving, unaware that his target had stopped, and then the two boys collided.

Donnie let out a yelp as he was thrown backward, Raph’s momentum transferring into his frame and catapulting him into the concrete wall behind them. His body hit the brick with a dull thud that echoed through the alcove, and then he slid to the floor in a crumpled ball.

“Oh my gosh – Donnie!” Raph ripped the bandana off of his head and threw it to the floor, hands flying to his mouth in horror. “I’m so sorry – I didn’t mean to -”

Mikey and Leo were on their feet in an instant, quickly tearing their own bandanas off and dashing across the tunnel. “Donnie? Dee? Are you ok?”

April felt a chill run through her body as she pushed herself off of the car steps and ran over to join the boys. Something was off – that had been a hard hit, yes, but the other guys had taken similar hits throughout the game – why was Donnie not moving? She dropped to her knees around the small semi-circle gathered around Donnie and reached out a shaking hand. “Donnie?”

At first glance she wasn’t even sure if he was conscious– curled on his knees in a fetal position and pressing his head to the cold concrete floor. Then she saw the way that his body was shaking, and the white knuckled grip with which he was holding himself. A sharp, strangled sound escaped his throat as he struggled to suck in air.

“Let me see,” Leo reached out and grabbed at the straps of Donnie’s backpack. He tugged at them, attempting to slide them over his brother’s shaking shoulders, but Donnie pulled his arms tighter around himself and gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head. Leo sighed, and gently laid a hand on the boy’s neck. “C’mon, dude – we’ve got to check it out.”

Donnie shook his head again, a bit more firmly, but made no attempt to fight as Mikey and Leo worked together to pull the backpack off and lift up the purple hoodie to reveal his shell.

Or at least – what should have been his shell.

Compared to his brothers’ armored plating and thick layers of keratin, Donnie’s back looked almost bare. His shell appeared to be made of an almost leather-like material, hardly thicker than the rest of his skin and seemingly flexible to the touch. A small row of ridges ran down the center, and April gulped at the sight of them – was that his spine pressing through? Oh gosh – where was Splinter when they needed him?

“You’re not bleeding, but there’s a couple of big scrapes and it looks like a bruise is already forming,” Leo finally said after a few seconds of poking and prodding, during which Donnie made only small sounds of discomfort. He rolled the hoodie back down to cover his brother, but left a hand on Donnie’s back. The injured turtle kept his forehead pressed to the ground, shoulders tensed and not looking up at the rest of them. His body continued to tremble, and nearby Raph let out a hiccupping sound.

April cleared her throat nervously. She was beginning to feel that she should do something as the oldest in this situation. “M-maybe we should use the radio and call your dad?”

“No!” Donnie shouted suddenly, causing all four of the others to jump in surprise. The turtle slowly forced himself to his feet, keeping his head down as he twisted his bandana back into place. April couldn’t see his eyes, but the twin wet splotches now on the back of his mask said enough. Before anyone could say anything, he shouldered past the others and ran into their train car, slamming the metal door shut behind him.

Raph stumbled after him, hands outstretched to grab the door handle. “Donnie-”

“NO!”

“I just want to-”

“LEAVE. ME. ALONE!”

There was another crash from within the train car, and then the alcove fell silent.

April slowly turned to face the three remaining turtles. “What was that?”

At this point, Raph looked like he was .03 seconds from bursting into tears. “I didn’t mean to hurt him – I didn’t know he had the ball or was in front of me or I would have stopped – I thought it was Leo –”

Mikey reached up and patted the snapping turtle’s quivering shoulder. “I know, buddy. It’s not your fault.”

“Guys? What –”

“It’s kind of hard to explain,” Leo cut her off, rubbing his neck awkwardly as he searched for the right words. “Donnie was just born with a different kind of shell than the rest of us. He and dad explained it at one point – it’s something to do with our DNA or something? I don’t know the word for it, but basically he isn’t as strong as the rest of us and so he can get hurt easier if we’re wrestling or something. It doesn’t matter most of the time, but he really doesn’t like talking about it.”

Mikey nodded his head emphatically, still patting their hiccupping older brother. “Dad used to strap a towel or something soft to his back when we were little, but then Donnie got really mad about it and just started covering it up.”

“Will he be ok, though?” April nodded her head back towards the train car. The walls were thick enough that they couldn’t hear anything going on within the small home now, and April couldn’t help but feel worried about what the upset turtle was up to. “I’ve never seen him act like that before.”

Leo nodded, but shared a look of concern at their home. “He’s taken worse hits before – I think he’s mostly just embarrassed that you saw him get hurt, too.”

April blinked. She hadn’t considered the fact that her presence could have added to his discomfort. “Oh.”

It was at that moment that the small radio Splinter had left them sputtered to life with a burst of static. Mikey darted across the alcove, giving Raph one last pat before he left, and scooped the device up from where it had been resting. He twisted one of the large dials on the side and frowned as the static increased, then twisted it the opposite direction until Splinter’s tinny voice rang through.

“-lo? Hello? Is this thing wor--ng?”

Mikey nodded, twisting the dial some more and then pressed down the main button. “Hi Dad – yeah, it’s working.”

“Oh, good. I need a bit of help.” There was a slight pause, and the kids could hear Splinter grunting. “Do you remember the small bistro that we gathered at a few weeks ago? The one with the cake?”

“Yeah?”

“Apparently they had a bake sale recently – I currently have several boxes of different baked goods, and I need some assistance carrying it all back home. Could at least two of you come meet me at the tube underneath the store to help? Tell April that she’d better hang back – one of the tunnels is nearly flooded, and I don’t know how well she can swim if necessary.”

“Ok – we’ll be there in a few minutes.” Mikey flicked off the radio and turned back to the others. “I don’t think Donnie’s going to want to go anywhere soon, but maybe some cake will make him feel better?”

“That is pretty good timing.” Leo nodded. “But the tunnels there are pretty deep – it must still be raining a ton. It would probably be a good idea for all of us to go, just in case. Do you mind staying here alone, April?”

April shook her head, even though the thought of essentially being alone this deep in the sewers was a bit unnerving. “I’ll be ok. I guess I can let Donnie know where you guys went in case he comes out and is confused.”

Raph let out a big sniffle, snot bubbling from his nostril as he scrubbed the tears from his cheeks. “If he does come out, tell him I’m really really sorry and didn’t mean to hurt him, ok?”

April nodded and gave the turtle a big hug. “I will – I promise.”

***

Minutes passed after the boys had taken off, leaving April alone in the alcove. She paced nervously, casting frequent glances towards the train car’s door and pondering whether or not she should try to knock. Whenever her younger cousins threw tantrums, their mom would usually give them time to blow off steam before trying to reason with them. But that was with LITTLE kids, and when they had done something wrong. Donnie had been hurt, so should she go make sure that he was ok? Or should she –

April stopped mid step and ran her fingers through her curls. What in the world had she gotten herself into? She didn’t even know where these guys technically came from, let alone how to handle something like biological differences within species. She would have to borrow her mom’s laptop later tonight and try to do some research on soft shell turtles, like she had done when the other guys had mentioned their species – maybe that would help. Until then… April pulled her cell phone from her pocket and glanced at the time.

She imagined that the boys were just now reaching where Splinter was, meaning that it would likely be twenty minutes until they got back – and that was if they didn’t run into any flooded areas or roadblocks. Maybe she should try to talk to Donnie one on one, without the others present. If he was embarrassed to talk about this stuff, maybe it was better to try to do so without an audience – right?

April turned towards the train car and nodded her head. Alright. Game plan. Let’s do this.

She took a deep breath through her nose, attempting to settle her nerves – and then froze. Hold on – why did she smell smoke? She sniffed the air again, turning towards the scent and squinting down the train tracks. The area around their home was relatively well lit, especially in comparison to the rest of the sewers. But several dozen yards down the line, she could see the light flickering brightly – alternating between normal lighting and lighting so bright that it seemed as if the sun had found its way under the streets.

Casting a quick glance at the train car, April shook her head. Ok, maybe she should check this out first – what if it was a fire or something dangerous? She should know in order to try and catch the guys before they got home.

With quick strides, April hurried towards the flickering lights. A loud crackling noise echoed through the tunnel with each pulse of light, getting louder and brighter as she closed the distance between them. She shielded her eyes as she finally rounded a corner, not looking directly at the light but gasping at what she saw.

“Donnie?”

The bright lights immediately cut off as a small form turned to face her. “Oh... Hey, April.”

The girl blinked rapidly, her eyes struggling to adjust to the sudden change in lighting. “I… I didn’t see you leave.”

“I climbed through the window.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

April glanced around the concrete tube that Donnie was holed up inside of. “Can… I come in?”

“I guess.”

April ducked her head as she stepped into the tube. It wasn’t as large as most of the ones she had seen throughout the sewers – only about seven feet deep and the same measurement in diameter. However, despite the lack of square footage, every inch of the floor had been taken advantage of. Neat piles of loose materials were scattered about the tube – pieces of scrap metal, loose wires, random rusted tools… it looked as if hundreds of small devices had been carefully dissected and sorted back into their bare essentials. Even the walls had not been neglected in the organized chaos – hundreds of notebook papers had been taped to the exposed brick and concrete, each filled with a mixture of frantic scribblings and meticulously labeled diagrams. Stacked on the floor beneath the drawings were several piles of neatly stapled pamphlets – owner’s manuals, from the looks of it.

To an outsider, this whole set up looked like something straight out of a mad scientist movie. However, instead of a wild-eyed, crazy-haired genius crouched among the piles of machinery that stood almost as tall as April, there was only… Donnie. He looked even smaller with just a hoodie and no backpack on – closer to Mikey’s size, really. He’d removed his mask at some point, likely to hide any evidence of his emotions, and now looked at April with a blank expression from behind a large pair of goggles.

“Whoa – this place is awesome,” April breathed as she knelt at the makeshift table beside him. “Did you collect all of this stuff yourself?”

The turtle scooted to the side, allowing her to get comfortable before nodding. It was hard to read his expression through the tinted lenses, but April imagined that he was avoiding her eyes. “Yeah. Dad said I could keep any extra gadgets that we gathered, as long as they don’t get in the way. So, I started collecting stuff in here.”

April nodded at the welding torch he clutched in his hands. “And you guys just found that?”

A small smirk tugged at Donnie’s lips and he touched the machine proudly. “Naw – this was here when we moved in. I think that it was left over from when they were originally building the subway tunnels. Dad said I’m technically not allowed to use it until I’m ten, but he never specified that he meant ten YEARS.”

“I guess that makes sense,” April snorted. Ok, there was some of the Donnie sass that she’d come to know. She gestured towards the stack of instructional manuals on the floor. “Wait – so did you just teach yourself how to use it?”

After pulling the goggles over his head and setting them to the side, Donnie leaned back into a resting position and gave a nod. “Uh-huh. It took me a while to figure out how to read German, but once I got the basics I learned the rest through trial and error. After that it was just a matter of getting the acetylene tanks from construction sites.”

Despite his nonchalant manner, April could see his chest swell ever so slightly in pride. She blinked, looking around the room again. Maybe she hadn’t been too far off with that mad scientist comparison.

“Holy cow, Donnie – that’s amazing! I’m sure your dad is really proud.”

Donnie’s expression immediately fell, twisting into something partially angry and partially sad as he drew his knees to his chest. “Dad doesn’t really know about or understand this kind of stuff.” His voice dropped to almost a whisper. “I think he wishes I was normal like the other guys.”

“Normal?” April pulled her head back at the word, brow creasing. “Donnie, you’re not NOT normal.”

The turtle cocked an eyebrow, giving her an incredulous expression and gesturing at his body. His whole body had tensed now. “Then how do you explain… this situation?”

April cringed internally. “Ok, you’re right in that you guys aren’t… typical –”

“April, nothing about us is ‘typical’!” Donnie interjected, his voice pitching as he leapt to his feet and waved his arms in front of him. “That’s why we have to live in the sewers and can’t go out like normal people.”

April’s eyes widened and she gaped helplessly. How was she supposed to respond to that? Before she could think of anything, Donnie continued on.

“We’re weird and not normal and our Dad isn’t even our real, biological dad. But he won’t even talk to us about it – he always just avoids answering questions or puts on a movie or something whenever I try to ask him.” The turtle brought his hands to his forehead, physically shaking it in frustration and then wrapping his arms around himself. “And if that’s not enough, out of all four of us, I’m the weirdest one. All of the other guys are normal and can do regular stuff, but whenever I try to do fun things I always get hurt. And then Dad will just… just look at me like I’m made out of glass or something. Like I’m weird and he doesn’t know what to do to fix it and…” Donnie took a shuddering breath, and then slumped to the floor with his head in his hands. “I know he loves us, but…. Sometimes I think that he wishes he didn’t have to be my dad.”

The small tube fell silent as both kids sat and processed the weight of his words. Finally, Donnie raised his head and used the heel of his hand to scrub at his eyes. “I’m sorry – I shouldn’t have said all of that.”

“No!” April exclaimed, catching the turtle off guard. She took a second, reverting to a normal voice, and then reached out to take Donnie’s hand in her own. “My mom says to never apologize for feeling hurt – that’s … that’s just … normal.”

Donnie let out a little huff of amusement, but his brown eyes focused on their now intertwined hands. He moved his thumb lightly over her knuckle and adjusted his own fingers so that they could fit together better. “Yeah, but… I don’t know.”

The turtle fell silent again, lost in thought but still clutching her hand like it was a life support. April squeezed it lightly to get his attention. “If it helps any, I don’t think that you or your family are weird – and even if I did, what’s so wrong with being weird? You guys are all special and unique in your own way, and I don’t think that anyone was made incorrectly or by accident. Everyone is made exactly how they were supposed to be, and that includes any differences that they have to struggle with.”

“And about your dad,” April hesitated, thinking through her words before she spoke. “I’m sure he doesn’t mean to treat you differently – I think he just wants to protect you, you know? Because I can already tell you, based on the letters he wrote about you guys – he loves you all so much. He’s just not the kind of person to show it, I guess.”

Donnie squeezed her fingers tighter and used their joint hands to wipe at his face. “I wish he was.”

“What about when you were little? Mikey said that he used to wrap a towel around you to make sure that you didn’t get hurt, right?” He nodded. “That’s because he loved you, and wanted to protect you!”

“It was still embarrassing.”

“Yeah, but every parent is embarrassing sometimes – I think that’s part of their job or something.”

“Really?”

“Oh my gosh, yes.” April rolled her eyes as she recalled a distant memory. “Like when I was learning to ride my bike. My mom was really paranoid that I would crash or get hurt, so she made me wear every kind of safety gear she could find – knee pads, elbow pads, shin guards, a helmet, you know. And then for a while she even made me stuff a pillow under my shirt! It was super embarrassing, and the other kids at the park made fun of me for weeks.”

“Did you tell her that you didn’t want to wear it?”

“Of course! I remember arguing with her and saying that she was being way too overprotective, but she refused to let me practice riding until I had all of that stuff on. But then one day while we were out practicing at the park, a kid fell off of their bike and broke their whole arm.” April shuddered at the thought. “I remember seeing it happen and waiting for the ambulance to come get them – it was awful. But then I was really glad that my mom made me wear all of that junk. Sure, it seemed dumb at the time, but she was making me wear it while I was learning so that I would be safe whenever I fell. And now that I’m older, I still make sure to wear my helmet.”

Donnie hummed softly. “That’s true… but I’m still not going to wear a pillow or whatever.”

“What if you didn’t have to?”

“What?”

“I mean, what if you had something else to protect your shell? Something that YOU liked and approved of, but that still kept you safe?”

“That’s actually kind of what I was working on,” Donnie took a deep breath and finally released April’s hand in order to reach out for the object he’d been welding. “It’s kind of like a battle shell – something I can wear to protect my real shell when we’re out playing and stuff. See?”

Donnie moved the metallic object to his lap and then pulled at the hem of his hoodie. He glanced at April and gave an awkward smile, then tugged the clothing over his head. April winced when she caught sight of his shell – like Leo had hypothesized, a deep purple bruise was already forming and taking up a large portion of his back.

“Oh, owch.”

“I’ll be ok,” Donnie turned so that his back was fully facing April and then craned his head to look over his shoulder at her. “Can you help me get this on?”

Together the two maneuvered the metal into place. It fit over Donnie’s shoulders similar to the way that his backpack had, but this invention was much more intimidating and solid looking. The purple metal curved perfectly over his shell, sealing it in and totally hiding it from view. Four metal straps extended from the sides of the device, which Donnie carefully latched around his shoulders and waist. After a moment of adjusting, the turtle turned to face April and gave her a nervous smile. “What do you think?”

“Donnie, you look awesome!” April clapped her hands together and squealed, causing the boy to blush. Already, Donnie looked like he was standing taller. His usually hunched shoulders curled back in pride, and the turtle looked like he was ready to charge into battle – or at least into a game of Bandana Ball.

“It’s not finished yet,” he admitted, rotating his shoulders and giving a small wince. “I’ll probably have to add some sort of padding to keep it from chafing, and the next version will definitely need to be made out of a lighter material. But… it’s definitely better than a pillow.”

April gave a small laugh. “I bet – and you should totally show this to the others. I’m sure they’d all be super impressed, and would probably want to help you make them!”

“You think so?” Donnie looked nervous, but he couldn’t hide the hopeful grin that was pulling at his lips. “You don’t think they’ll think it’s weird?”

“Are you kidding me? Donnie, look at all of this stuff,” April gestured towards the small inventions scattered around the room, the drawings on the wall, and then back to the battle shell. “You’re only eight years old, and you’ve designed all of this stuff without any teaching or guidance. You saw a problem and innovated to overcome it. Heck, if the rest of the family isn’t impressed, I don’t know what will impress them.” She reached out for his hands again. “Donnie, you and your brothers are amazing.”

The turtle froze, lip trembling. For a moment April wondered if she had said something wrong, and then the boy threw himself at April. She stumbled backwards, suddenly aware of the extra weight now on Donnie’s back, but then righted herself before the two tumbled onto the floor. Donnie locked his arms around April’s neck and buried his face into her shoulder.

“Thank you, April. For everything.”

April smiled and hugged him back, her eyes closing as she placed a small kiss atop Donnie’s head. “You’re welcome.”

#rottmnt #tmnt 2018 #savannah drabbles #donatello #rottmnt donnie

31 notes · View notes

thebiasrekkers · 4 years

Text

Amaryllis: The Future || JHS

For the @bangtanscenery - April Showers Bring May Flowers Project in celebration of the Spring Season!

Plot: Everything always comes full circle. A soul falls into the ether, hoping to be reborn in the next cycle. If a desire is strong enough, it can manifest across space and time. Two souls reunite and are given a second chance, hoping that their love will be rekindled even stronger than it was before.

Rating: PG-13 // SFW

Genre: soulmate!au | reincarnation!au | angst | romance | drama

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x Female OC (Erica Bronwyn/Bayaraa Ehri)

Warnings: Mild language, angst, identity crisis, fluff, mentions of religion and mental health

Links: FAQ || BTS Masterlist || Admin E’s AO3 || [ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ]

Word Count: 9.0K

AN: Y'all. I just can't with this story. Part of me is glad it's over. Part of me is upset I didn't expound on this more. But they say that every writer should know when to let a story finish. So with this second part, this tragic story now has a happy ending. Thank you everyone who was patient with me and adored my work. It means so much to me.

© thebiasrekkers (Admin E). All rights reserved. Reposting/modifying our work is prohibited. Translations are not allowed. Plagiarism/stealing is not tolerated by any means. Legal action will be taken in instances of theft.

Present Day Gwacheon – Gyeonggi Province South Korea

Hoseok stared at the paperwork in front of his desk. Every so often, he would blink at it before shifting to the next page. He had so many questions, but the main one sat at the forefront of his mind. He turned another page, this time with photographs showcasing various pieces of art by a specific artist; the artist in question whose portfolio was sent to him earlier that week.

“What do you think?” asked Namjoon.

Lifting his eyes to meet Namjoon’s, Hoseok raised a single brow. “I just have one question.”

He watched as Namjoon leaned back in the plush leather chair. “What?”

“Why me?” Hoseok returned his gaze back to the photos. “Why us?”

He heard Namjoon sigh as he readjusted himself in his seat. “Honestly, I don’t know.”

This pulled at Hoseok’s curiosity. Namjoon was the Archivist and assistant Director to the art gallery they owned while Hoseok served as both the Curator and Director. In all the years they’d been opened, they never came across a situation like this. Their gallery wasn’t a well-known venue for art exhibitions. In fact, it ranged on the small side. Not many people knew about them and they focused on Indie Art and lesser-known artists to be able to give them a chance to be recognized and gain some viewership from the public.

But as Hoseok looked at the works in the photographs by this particular artist, he still couldn’t wrap his head around it.

“Erica Bronwyn,” he murmured, but loud enough so Namjoon could hear, “a young, up and coming glass and metalworks artist who has gained much popularity in Italy, France, and England. Every gallery that has showcased her work has garnered a lot of success and positive response. Her stylistic focus on ancient Asian culture is a keypoint in all of her artwork, always adding a specific floral motif for each of her collections.”

“Too much?” Namjoon brushed some of his hair out of his eyes.

Hoseok shook his head as he leaned back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest. “I just don’t get it, Namjoon-ah.” Again, he met his friend’s gaze. “Why us? Compared to the other galleries in South Korea, we’re nobodies.”

Namjoon barked with laughter as he raised his brows slightly. “I know, right?”

Unlike his best friend, Hoseok didn’t find this funny in the slightest. As he looked back at the portfolio, he couldn’t help but feel like someone was trying to pull a fast one on him. Had he missed the memo where he signed up to be part of a prank cam show? He wouldn’t put it past Namjoon, but with Winter winding down and yielding into Spring, Hoseok wasn’t in the mood to play any kind of games.

He didn’t know why, but this time of year alwaysleft him feeling especially melancholy.

One of the assistants at the gallery, Jisoo, came into their office with a tray of tea. They thanked her and she quickly excused herself, stating that she was going to do her rounds before closing up. After she left, Hoseok curled his fingers around his chin, his brows furrowed in thought. He just didn’t understand any of it.

“And no other galleries made any offers?” He reached for his teacup. “We don’t have much in terms of money. I mean, we are able to comfortably get by but I would think other curators would be dying to get their claws into any exhibition she would bring to the table.”

Namjoon swallowed a bit of tea while humming. “Oh no,” he said, setting the cup down on the saucer, “there were offers. Really nice ones, in fact. I talked to a few of the other archivists and directors from the more well-known ones in Seoul. Her agent turned them all down on her behalf.”

“But why, is what I’m getting at.” He could hear the exasperation in his own voice. “Why us, Namjoon? I don’t get it.”

“Y’know, Hoseok-ah, I don’t know.” Namjoon reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small business card. “But her agent did say that if you had any questions to contact Miss Bronwyn directly.” Hoseok took the card from Namjoon and studied the labeling on it which had a copy of her elegant signature on it. “Her cell number is on the back.”

Hoseok stared at the number on the back. He wasn’t sure why there was a sense of reticence swelling inside of his chest as he stared at the handwritten phone number. It looked like every other scribble in a long list of scribbles he’d looked at. But as his eyes lifted to peer back at Erica’s portfolio, an ache sat in the center of his lungs and made it difficult to breathe. His vision blurred momentarily and it wasn’t until he felt Namjoon’s hand on his shoulder that he realized what happened.

He was crying.

Reincarnation was a strange subject matter. Many religions spoke of the phenomenon differently. Not all of them were wrong, but not all of them were right either. If Erica had to pinpoint which faith got it right, it would discount them all. So she simply chose to believe what was the correct one from her interpretation.

In this life, her name was Eric Bronwyn. It was the name that her parents gave her when she was brought into this world. She believed that her name was Erica Bronwyn.

But at the age of seven, a different truth came to light. Suddenly, she was flooded with memories of a life that she didn’t recognize. People spoke to her in a language Erica didn’t understand and the faces of those people were warm and affectionate. Over the years, she studied and tried to piece together the meaning behind all of these occurrences. Studying foreign languages and focusing on the scenes that flashed in her mind’s eye.

At thirteen, Erica realized who the people were.

Her parents. Her sisters. Her family.

And a name. Her old name.

Ehri.

Honing her talent for arts and crafts, Erica began breathing life into the images. She painted portraits of her parents, her sisters, and the close friends that she had in that world; in that life. Erica’s mother asked her where she was painting from; the portraits of the individuals of a completely different ethnic background and culture than her own. Part of her wanted to tell her parents in this life what it meant, but Erica also didn’t want to concern them over the minor details.

Year by year, Erica lived two lives. One was her everyday life in the current time period and the other cycled parallel to the present. Every step she took, she could see both her path and the path of Bayaraa Ehri simultaneously. When Erica walked through a busy city street and concrete sidewalks, she could also see the grassy hills and mountain krags in tandem. When it rained outside at night, Erica also saw a colorful twilight sky free from a torrential downpour.

Every single day and every single moment, Erica and Ehri existed at the same time.

For a while, Erica believed that something was mentally wrong with her. Was she deranged? Did she need medical attention for this? How would she even begin explaining the cycle of reason without sounding ludicrous herself?

On her 22nd birthday, everything came to a head.

Erica just graduated and was starting out in the world. She knew she wanted to be an artist. But she couldn’t determine which medium suited her the most. Skilled in oil painting, sculpting and watercolor, she decided to visit a few art museums and galleries across Europe. While in Italy, she saw a small gallery that happened to be open on that particular day. Upon entering, only one other patron was visiting at the same time she was.

She couldn’t see him from the back and he was staring at a large oil painting of a spider lily. It was the gallery’s main showcase and Erica felt herself drawn to the piece more than the person looking at it. The two of them stood a few feet apart from each other, eyes locked onto the painting; unable to avert their gazes for even a second.

And then the young man finally spoke.

“Have you ever heard of the legend of the Spider Lily?”

A sharp pain struck Erica’s chest at that moment. Clutching at the front of her shirt, she turned to look at him. His face looked so familiar and everything in her mind seemed to rush forward all at once. When he asked if she was alright, a different face overlapped the man’s. Before she realized it, Erica burst into tears as her heart flooded with a turbulent storm of emotions.

The man she remembered was Hoseok. The man she met that day was Benjamin Reinhart.

Benjamin stayed with her for years and he was the first person Erica told her secret to. But he didn’t react the way she feared others would. He was calm and understanding. And then he was determined to help her find the man that her soul remembered.

In another year, Ehri and Erica were truly one and the same person. All of Ehri’s memories were now Erica’s, nestled safely beside the ones she made in her current life cycle. It was a terrifying transition, at least at first. Erica feared that the person she was would be erased by Ehri's own memories. They were powerful, passionate, and something to admire. But Erica went through her own struggles in her life. She didn’t want those memories to be destroyed.

When it became clear that Erica wouldn’t disappear, relief washed over her. She could access Ehri’s memories at will, wanting to know more about her past and the man who encompassed all of Ehri’s heart.

It took Erica three years to find the one called “Hoseok”. Using a good chunk of her money and resources from showcasing her work throughout Europe, Benjamin’s search bore fruit. When he came back with several pictures, she was able to point out the one from Ehri’s memories.

There was a part of her that hesitated, however. Mostly because her physical appearance didn’t match Ehri’s. Couldn’t that have been the case with Hoseok? What if the person in the picture wasn’t the Hoseok from Ehri’s memories?

The problem called for more research. Erica threw herself into studying the various forms of reincarnation and which cases were similar to her own. There weren’t many and while most of them were informative on the person experiencing the soul rebirth, it didn’t speak much on those who may have been reborn but had no memories of their old lives. Many texts referred to it as “drinking from the Spring of Forgetfulness”.

There was a passage, however, that gave Erica some hope. As stated in folklore, anyone who was set for reincarnation and drank from the Spring of Forgetfulness, would retain the form they had in their previous life to make themselves recognizable to those who did not drink from the spring. If Ehri’s memories were inside of Erica, then that meant Ehri hadn’t drank from the Spring of Forgetfulness.

The caveat? Her physical appearance changed.

Everything else would be left to chance.

Cradling the coffee mug between her fingers, Erica could hardly contain her excitement. Elation mixed with anxiety created a stormy cocktail of conflicting emotions within her. Jung Hoseok, curator of one of the smaller art galleries in the Gwacheon area, finally agreed to meet with her. She honestly wondered if he would bother giving her the time of day, even with her popularity in Europe with her works. Any art director would be suspicious since her agent made it clear that she would not want her pieces showcased anywhere in South Korea. If he didn’t accept her offer, then she wouldn’t be displaying her work in any art gallery in the country.

Her PR agents were curious why she was so hellbent on making sure her pieces were showcased at Hoseok’s gallery. Erica didn’t have a definitive answer. Just that it had to be his. The reasoning wasn’t as important as the need for them to be placed there. Her agent, Benjamin, didn’t question her further. He knew how eccentric Erica could be and as a woman of color in the metal works medium of art, it was a constant uphill battle for her. Pressing her on minor details would be pointless.

Besides, who would take her reasons seriously?

It wasn’t like she could tell just anyone that she wanted to see the man who was her soulmate.

When the small bell chimed as the door opened, Erica felt her heart slam into her chest. As she looked up, she could see Hoseok slowly enter the cafè. She held her hand up to him, waving to get his attention, and he spotted her fairly quickly. He smiled back, waving and quickly crossed the small space to reach her.

“Hi,” she said while standing, “I’m so glad you could make it.”

Hoseok reached out to grasp her hand, shaking it politely. “Thank you for agreeing to meet with me on such short notice.”

Erica smirked, shaking her head as they sat down. “Not at all. I wasn’t sure if you would accept my offer in the first place.”

A waitress came by, offered Hoseok a glass of water, and then he placed his order: an iced Americano. He met Erica’s gaze as he brushed some of his fringe from his brows. “Well, you didn’t make it easy for me.”

“What do you mean?” Erica canted her head slightly. “Was I asking for too much?”

“I wouldn’t call it asking for too much as I would asking for not much at all.”

She was genuinely confused. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I quite understand…”

For a moment, neither of them said another word. The waitress brought out Hoseok’s drink and he took a generous sip before clearing his throat. Again, he lifted his gaze to meet hers and there was a heavy ache that seemed to hollow out the lower portion of her stomach. Ehri’s feelings were on the brink of overwhelming her and Erica had to clench her trousers to keep herself from spiraling into an emotional outburst.

“It’s been bugging me. You’re such a well-known, up and coming artist. Why are you so adamant about showcasing your work at my galleria?”

Erica bit back a sigh of relief, feeling the need for an outburst starting to melt away. “You really take the time to focus on lesser-known works of art, as well as artists. And you take pride in making sure that the best representation is given to those artists.” She pressed her fingers along the sides of her cup. “Anyone can see how much you care. It isn’t about making a profit for you.”

It was only a half truth. Erica couldn’t bring herself to dump everything that slowly filled up inside of her over the years. Not only was it not fair, it was illogical. No one wanted baggage dumped unnecessarily into their laps unexpectedly.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she watched as Hoseok seemed to openly gauge her response, as well as her reactions. He took another sip of his coffee and Erica fidgeted with her nails along the surface of her coffee mug. The sound of ice clinking together kept her tethered as she waited for him to say something; anything.

“Alright,” he said finally, reaching across the table to offer his hand, “then I guess we’re partners for the time being.”

Unable to mask her joy, Erica grasped his hand with both of hers and shook it. She flashed an open-mouthed smile when she saw the surprise on Hoseok’s face. It quickly melted into amusement, but Erica didn’t mind if he thought she was silly. This was just the first step. A first of many.

After they finished shaking hands, Hoseok pulled out his phone. “I’ll have the assistant director forward the paperwork to your agent.” She waited for him to send the message and then he politely set his phone on the table. “So, can you tell me what the theme of your showcase will be this time?”

This was the moment that would help determine the way the course of events would unfold. This very moment. Erica knew it and so did Ehri. She had to choose her words wisely. She had to make this count for all that she could hope for.

She lifted her cup to her lips, took a generous sip of coffee, and set the cup back down on the saucer. Her eyes lingered on Hoseok’s for a few more seconds before speaking, a smile pulling at the corners of her lips.

“Have you ever heard of the legend of the Spider Lily?”

Lycoris radiata.

Bulg-eun Geomi Baeghab.

Manjusaka.

Higanbana.

Amaryllis.

They were all names referencing the red spider lily.

Hoseok found it a little strange that Erica wanted to showcase an Autumn Equinox flower in the middle of Spring. Even stranger, this was a flower that often was used to symbolize death. When he thought back to her portfolio, none of her pieces were quite as somber in tone as the red spider lily. In fact, in the language of flowers, Erica seemed to use positive terms in each of her collections. Nothing as melancholy or tragic as the spider lily.

When he thought back to the conversation he had with her a week ago, Hoseok couldn’t quite shake the feeling of nostalgia that blanketed over him. She spoke of the spider lily’s legend in a way that almost made one think she believed such a tale. He’d heard the story a long time ago - a story his great grandmother once imparted to him. But it was just a story about star-crossed lovers. There was nothing exciting or happy about it, so he quickly pushed it from his mind.

Hearing Erica’s version, however, left him feeling unsettled. Was it the sincerity in her voice or was it something else? He wanted to know why his heart felt such a heavy weight of sadness when he thought of her face as she spoke of the flower’s legend.

Her pieces were set to be displayed at the end of May. That would give her just over three weeks to complete her showcase. When he asked why Erica chose to make her art pieces after signing contracts, she said that it was simply a way to push her creativity to the limit. Knowing there was a set deadline prioritized her pacing and helped to generate a more stylistic approach compared to the normal methods.

Erica seemed open, honest, and didn’t appear to have anything to hide. Part of Hoseok thought this trepidation was silly and unwarranted. When he brought up his concerns to Namjoon, he encouraged Hoseok to just talk to her. He didn’t think the solution would be something as simple as that, but he couldn’t refute it until he actually tried it.

So he waited to gain access to the workshop that Erica was currently renting out to put her pieces together. In truth, Hoseok never showcased much in the realm of glass or metal art pieces in his gallery. Most of it was the traditional watercolor, oil painting, or even sculptures of clay or stone. This was a new subject, even for him.

When the metal doors slid open, a rush of heat immediately pressed against his entire body. Hoseok coughed from the suddenness of it, using his forearm to shield the lower half of his face to keep himself from breathing in the heat. Sweat slid down his neck and bubbled along the bridge of his nose. Hoseok’s eyes began to water in response to the stifling heat.

Something cold touched his neck, causing him to jump slightly from shock at the sudden sensation. When he turned, he saw Erica holding out a bottle of water for him. He gave a sheepish smile as he took it from her. She helped herself to a generous swig from her own bottle and he couldn’t help but admire her rugged appearance.

A thick leather work apron was wrapped around her body, a pair of thick gloves stuffed into the large front pocket. Her jeans were worn, stuffed into a pair of combat boots. Erica’s shirt was a black, loose fitted tank top, showcasing the muscle definition in her arms. There were a few scrapes and telltale red marks that indicated she’d suffered a few scorches from the flames she used in her work. He wouldn’t have guessed she had such a physique after having seen her in person for their casual business meeting.

There was a sheen of sweat along her olive skin, giving it a warm glow. Hoseok’s cheeks flushed slightly when he realized she was now looking back at him just as intently.

“Sorry,” he said quickly, averting his gaze, “I didn’t mean to intrude during your work hours.”

Erica waved off his apology. “It’s fine. I was just about to call it a day.” She turned toward the direction of where the heat was coming from. “Douse the furnace, guys!”

Within a few seconds, hissing noises were heard and the heat radiating from one particular area began to dissipate. A few metal shutters were slid closed and lights began to blink off one after another. Only one section was still lit and it was to the far left of the warehouse. Hoseok only managed to blink a few times before he heard Erica laughing beside him.

“Would you like to take a peek?” she asked, gesturing to the cluster of things covered with simple sheets.

“If you don’t mind?”

“Not at all,” she said, motioning for him to follow her to the far corner.

Erica reached for the switch to one of four standing lamps. One by one, she pulled to turn them all on, then grasped a corner of one of the sheets. With an unnecessarily dramatic flourish, she lifted the sheet up and off to let it flutter to the floor.

What was revealed from beneath had Hoseok’s lips parting in awe. Glistening under the amber lighting were various glass and metal pieces situated on pedestals. All of them contained an element of the red spider lily. There was a glass orb with a spider lily design blown across the surface, coloring the opposite side with the reflection from the light. A traditional looking Asian fan containing glass and metal had the red spider lily emblazoned along the spread. Around the edge of the fan were clusters of glass spider lilies.

There were easily twelve pieces already completed. Each a different shape, style, or ornament with the red spider lily as the focus or accent to the work. But what had Hoseok pausing in mid-swig of his water was the metal spider lily that sat on a white satin pillow. He wasn’t sure if it was the lighting or the type of metal Erica chose to forge with, but the flower had an ethereal sheen to it that nearly mesmerized him. He unconsciously began reaching for it, stopping just before his fingers could actually touch it.

A sudden shock rocketed up his arm, startling him. Recoiling, he pulled his hand back quickly. He managed a few short breaths before collecting himself. “I’m sorry…” Hoseok pressed the heel of his palm to his forehead. “I don’t know what came over me just now.”

Erica said nothing. She just looked at him, her expression giving away nothing. Hoseok wasn’t sure if he'd made her mad, but she didn’t appear to be upset with him. After a moment of unbearably awkward silence, she smiled and moved to pick up the sheet from the floor.

“I’m glad you like them,” was all she said before covering up her artworks with the sheet. Wiping her hands along the front of her apron, Erica reached into the front pocket and pulled out a hair tie. As she pulled her thick curls back into a low ponytail, she glanced over her shoulder back at the concealed pieces. “I should be done in another week. Just in time to get everything set up for the showcase.”

Something inside of Hoseok mourned their absence once they were completely hidden from view. There was a soft ache nestled at the front of his chest and he absentmindedly rubbed at it. Erica seemed to sense a shift in his demeanor and she gently placed a hand on his shoulder to steady him.

“Are you tired?”

A flash of white erupted in his line of sight, almost blinding him. Hoseok’s ears began to ring as different voices seemed to jump around in his head. Replacing the white void was a lush green field and when he next looked up, he was staring face to face with not Erica, but a different woman. She blinked up at him as she lifted her face from her forearms, looking a little sleepy.

Her lips parted and she leaned back quickly, gasping a little as he blinked curiously at her.

“W-What?” she stammered out, heat rushing up her neck and spreading over her cheeks. “What’s the matter?”

He was crouched down on the ground, his elbows resting on his knees. But he didn’t move any closer to her. “I was asking if you were tired.”

And in a flash, it was gone. He was back in the world he knew, his eyes wide and staring straight into Erica’s face. She was close, as if inspecting his features, and he felt her press the back of her wrist against his forehead.

“W-What’s the matter?” he asked, his voice trembling.

She frowned, but didn’t meet his eyes. “I was asking if you were tired.”

Hoseok’s heart practically lodged itself in his throat.

“But now that I’m getting a better look, you don’t seem so good. It might be the heat.” Erica took a step back while reaching into her apron pocket. “I’ll call a cab for you.” Turning her back to him, she shifted her focus to her phone, leaving Hoseok dazed and confused.

His body reacted before his mind could. He quickly closed the distance between them, slamming his chest into her back. His water bottle clattered to the floor and he heard Erica gasp, feeling her back muscles tense up as he wrapped his arms around her waist. Hoseok felt vibrations along his skin and it was hard for him to tell if Erica was the one shaking, or if it was him.

“D-Director Jung?”

Her voice brought Hoseok crashing back to reality. He promptly released her, taking several steps back as he held his hands up. “I’m...I’m so sorry.”

Erica turned to look at him. However, instead of an expression of rage or confusion, he could see something akin to sadness. Why was she sad? Had he somehow damaged something that he hadn’t intended to? And why had his body reacted in such a way? It felt natural. Being that near to her felt right and safe.

Yet he couldn’t ignore the heavy despair that sat at the bottom of his lungs.

He quickly pivoted on his heels, making his way toward the entrance of the warehouse. The echo of his footsteps reverberated off the walls, but only his. Erica made no move to chase after him.

“Do you have to go?”

Her voice blanketed every square inch of him, halting him in mid-retreat. Craning his neck slowly, he glanced over to see that Erica was holding her phone at her side. Her expression never changed, still showing that sad sense of longing that he couldn’t quite understand the reasoning behind it. Her entire being was a mystery and one that he didn’t think he’d be able to escape from.

Another voice echoed in his mind.

“I don’t want you to go.”

It was his own.

Something was wrong and he didn’t know how to fix it. All he could do was run for now. It was the easiest solution, even though he knew it probably wasn’t the best one.

“...I’ll see you when it’s time to prepare for the showcase, Miss Bronwyn. Have a good rest of your evening.”

And without wanting to risk looking back, Hoseok quickly moved down the sidewalk. There was no way he was driving back home. Not with his nerves this severely rattled. Pulling out his phone, he was already dialing Namjoon.

He needed a drink.

The showcase was successful and received tons of recognition and positive feedback. It was to be expected. Erica was far from arrogant, but she was completely confident in her own skills. If anyone had anything negative to say, it was usually in reference to her chosen style and medium than anything else. But even the harshest of critics would finally admit that her talent was forged from years of practice, study, and due diligence. She should have been proud and, in some measure, she was.

But surface level pride could only do so much to nourish her spirit.

Erica could feel her determination starting to wane. The encounter she had with Hoseok at her warehouse caused a surge of hope to ignite inside of her. But following his hasty retreat, she hadn’t been able to get in touch with him. All calls were forwarded to Namjoon and while he did his best to reassure her that everything was fine, Erica could hardly take comfort in his words.

The way he embraced her in the workshop fueled something inside of both Ehri and herself. While the passion simmered on the surface from Ehri’s memories, Erica felt drawn to Hoseok as well. Her own affection and longing to understand him stayed hovering above the surface. She wanted to know him and empathize with him, not because of the past, but for the present.

Ehri’s feelings coincided with her own. They both wanted Hoseok to heal and feel the beauty of reconnection. But it wouldn’t be possible if he kept keeping her at a distance. She didn’t know when she would be able to talk to him again outside of work-related subjects. Would there be an opportunity to bridge the gap before she was scheduled to head back to the United States?

She wanted to be able to impart something to him before what little development happened disappeared into a puff of smoke.

Her phone buzzed on her nightstand and Erica absentmindedly looked at the screen. It was Namjoon, reminding her that there was to be a celebratory dinner being held in her honor in a few hours. Benjamin told her that it would be in her best interest to attend, regardless of the outcome and of the events that transpired prior to tonight. Erica wasn’t sure if she wanted to go, but she also knew that there was a level of professionalism and decorum that needed to be adhered to.

Picking up her phone, she texted Namjoon that she would meet them there. Sighing, she looked back at her reflection in the mirror. Erica’s appearance was so different from Ehri’s. Being half Korean and half African American at least blessed her with Asian eyes and a Korean button nose. But her olive skin, thick curly hair and heart-shaped face helped to differentiate her from the rest of the crowd. Not belonging to one community or the other, it took a lot of struggles in her life to accept and respect her origins.

Having the soul of a Mongolian woman from centuries in the past made adjusting to her life in the present a little bit harder to deal with than she would have cared to admit.

“May as well try to enjoy myself,” she muttered, moving from the vanity to begin getting ready.

Erica opted for a simple hunter green cocktail dress. It was safe, eloquent but not too gaudy to bring a lot of attention to herself. Dolling up her face with natural makeup and a soft bronzer for the finish, she chose gold hoops and a simple gold necklace with a flower pendant to finish the look. She pulled her hair up into a high ponytail placed on the side to accentuate her high cheekbones. Slipping into a pair of simple, black strappy heels, she grabbed her purse and dialed for a cab.

It didn’t take her long to arrive. This particular lounge was a comfortable bar and restaurant. Reservations were required to enter, as well as an appropriate dress code. After she gave the host her name, she was escorted to the back to a private dining area.

Her assistants at the shop and Benjamin greeted her warmly. Namjoon came and shook her hand, as well as giving her a hug. Hoseok was the last to speak with Erica and his appearance seemed serene and unsettled. It was a stark contrast to the last time she saw him, having seen his visibly shaken countenance soon after he embraced her. But now he conducted himself like a professional in every sense of the word.

She was smiling on the outside, but on the inside Erica could feel the distance growing even more between them.

Everyone cheered and congratulated Erica on her endeavors. It was a grueling two and a half weeks, but everything was complete and they all reassured her that the showcase went off without a hitch. She smiled and laughed when it was appropriate, downing flute after flute of champagne. It was the only way she could keep the pain in her chest at bay. Bellies full with food and booze, Erica quickly excused herself so she could enjoy the evening air on the lounge’s back patio.

The cool breeze soothed her warm skin, allowing her a small respite from her thoughts. Smiling sadly to herself, she had to admit that the evening was fun and her time in Korea was also enjoyable. There was no sense in rushing anything, even though she could feel Ehri’s desperation to reunite with the man she loved. But didn’t Erica have a say as well? This was her life just as much as it was Ehri’s. It was unfair to push all unresolved feelings of yearning onto someone who wasn’t prepared for it.

Things had to be taken slowly. Patience needed to be grasped.

“It’s a beautiful evening,” a voice said from behind her.

Erica turned, surprised to see Hoseok standing out on the patio with her. He handed her a glass of water and she politely accepted it. Turning back to face the city, she leaned against the metal railing and looked up at the sky. Hoseok sidled up next to her, taking in the fresh air and the landscape as well.

“Thank you for hosting this party for me, Director Jung.” It was the only thing Erica could think to say at that particular moment. She didn’t want to create any awkward tension between them.

“Please, just call me Hoseok.” Erica turned to look at Hoseok, blinking in semi-shock to see him actually looking back at her. His brows furrowed and he seemed to be battling internally with something. “I want to apologize for my behavior. It was rude and uncalled for.” She opened her mouth to speak, but Hoseok shook his head, silencing all protests she might have had. “No. Truly, it was unacceptable. Instead of rationalizing what happened that day at your workshop, I let my emotions get the better of me and pushed you away.”

Her shoulders sagged as her expression darkened. She didn’t want this kind of apology. She wanted understanding and to have a conversation about what happened. Apologizing for it meant that Hoseok most likely wanted to sweep it under the rug; to forget about everything. But if his response was anything remotely close to what she was hoping for, a type of awakening, then the last thing she wanted was to have him ignore it.

“There are these feelings I can’t shake when I’m around you.” Erica saw a pained look cross his features as Hoseok reached up to grasp at the front of his shirt. “Hell, even when I’m not around you, I’m overwhelmed. I hear my voice and I see you.” He paused long enough to avert his gaze. “But then I don’t see you. I can’t figure out the meaning behind it all and it's haunted me every waking hour since we separated.”

Erica felt her lips part slightly, wanting to reach out and hold him close. She wanted to let him know that everything would be fine. He just needed to take it slow. He just needed to breathe.

Instead, she smiled and grasped his hand in her own. “It’s okay to be scared, y’know?” He lifted his gaze to meet her eyes. “I was scared too.”

Hoseok blinked, his confusion obvious. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve read about this sort of thing happening. It could transpire in a variety of different ways. Every case is different.” Erica squeezed his hand, pressing her thumb into the center of his palm. “What you’re experiencing is the direct result of having met me. Your mind is starting to process what your body already accepts and understands.”

This was probably too much at once. Erica could sense it from the cold sweat forming in Hoseok’s palms. But every time she felt him beginning to pull away, she continued to hold his hand even tighter. Running from this wasn’t an option. He would either choose to submit to this ideology or deny it altogether.

Running was out of the question.

“E-Erica-ssi,” he stammered, his eyes widening with every word she spoke. It broke her heart and fueled her determination simultaneously. “I...I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”

“Hoseok-ah,” Erica said slowly, dropping the honorific on purpose. It startled her more than it did him, despite it visibly showing on his face. “When you look into my eyes, what do you see? What do you feel when you look at me?”

Silence swirled around them, the ambient noise of the city a mere whisper on the cusp of how much energy was radiating between them. Erica maintained eye-contact with Hoseok and the intensity of her gaze was enough to keep him from looking away. She needed him to see what was buried in the depths of her soul; the very person who wished so hard to be reborn just so she could be with the man she loved so much.

The transition would be terrifying to experience, but at least he wouldn’t have to do it alone.

She watched him swallow the lump in his throat and for a split second, her vision blurred from the onset of tears she was fighting so hard not to shed. Erica couldn’t afford to break down now. Not when he was so close to voicing the truth he wouldn’t be able to escape.

“I see you. But a you that isn’t you.” Hoseok bit his lower lip and she could feel his body trembling as she continued to hold his hand. “I feel like I know you. But the me that knows you isn’t someone I recognize.” He held a hand to his forehead, his hip leaning against the metal railing for support. “He has my voice...but there’s something off about it.”

“It’s not off. It’s just different. What else?” Erica rubbed comforting circles with her thumb along his knuckles now to ease the tension. “Do you remember anything else?”

“A name.”

Erica’s heart hammered like thunder against her ribs. “...a name?”

With his hand still pressed to his forehead, he peered into her eyes and something different swirled in his dark depths. It was clarity and resignation, albeit fearful. But it sat confidently in his gaze, his eyes taking on a glassy sheen under the fluorescent bulbs from the street lamps.

“Your name.” He took a step forward, twisting his hand so that his fingers were laced through hers. “I see you, Bayaraa Ehri.”

The tears she’d been holding back mercilessly fell, streaming her cheeks. She dropped the glass of water from her hands, letting it shatter around her feet. She didn’t care that her feet were wet or that she’d broken something. The sound barely registered in her mind. Erica never imagined this feeling of reconnection would explode inside of her. It was like Ehri’s soul was singing with renewed vigor; her second breath of life finally given the opportunity to breathe ; to be.

She smiled through her tears, relishing in the feel of Hoseok’s hand resting against her cheek. His thumb stroked affectionate circles beneath her eye. The look on his face mirrored the face of the man Bayaraa Ehri loved so much.

A face that Erica Bronwyn loved as well.

“I see you too, Wang Hoseok…” She reached up to brush her fingers through the fringe of his hair. “And I see you, Jung Hoseok.”

Not wanting to destroy the moment, all Erica could do was bask in the glow of her own feelings. Not Ehri’s, but her own sense of joy and fulfillment in that very instant. Hoseok pulled her closer and she felt her heart rate escalate until she was forced to close her eyes. She felt his breath along her skin as her body pressed against his; melding into it.

And then his lips brushed against hers, sending her whole world into a tailspin.

Her mouth parts slightly at his silent insistence, tasting his lips. It was a mixture of champagne and her raspberry lip gloss. Erica’s heart thumped painfully in her chest, nearly causing her legs to buckle in agony. She felt Hoseok’s fingers curl even tighter through her own, his other hand having vacated the planes of her face to press along the curve of her lower back. Erica’s own hand gripped at the base of his neck, the roaring thunder of her heart exploding in her ears.

Until there was stillness. Silence. So quiet that both body and soul could savor the moment; to, once again, garner meaning to their existence.

Erica Bronwyn was scared.

Bayaraa Ehri was terrified.

Both were elated beyond measure.

“Oh, that?” He stood from the small stool situated at her bedside and retrieved the box from the table. After he sat back down, he opened it and showed her the metallic spider lily inside. “Do you like it?”

She nodded.

“I’m glad.” He closed the box. “It was supposed to be your wedding present, but I figured this would help lift your spirits some.”

Ehri sighed a little, her brows furrowing. “But didn’t you say that the legend of the Spider Lily is a sad story?” She pouted again. “Why would you give me such a thing as a wedding present?”

Hoseok reached out to pet her head. “I bought this from an artisan who claimed that this flower is different from the actual spider lily.”

“Different how?”

Again, he opened the box to show her the lovely flower. “He said that anyone who possesses this flower is guaranteed to be reunited with their love in the next life. It will not come to pass like in the tale of Manju and Saka.”

“How can he guarantee that?”

“I asked the same thing,” Hoseok said while laughing. He closed the box. “But we will just have to see when we are reborn again, hm?” He stroked her cheek with his fingers. “I want to love you again in our next life, Ehri-ah.”

Hoseok cried out, gulping a lungful of air as the sheets clung to his upper body like a second skin. Bolting upright, he stared wide-eyed at the space just below his wall clock. The ticking of the second hand sounded like muffled gunshots in his ears. His breath came in heavy, short intervals and it took him a moment to actually calm down.

Groping in the dark for his phone, he barely managed to snatch it off the nightstand. The screen instantly lit up to show the time in blinding white numbers.

4:37AM.

Everything felt like a dream. Or, rather, like he was dreaming while still awake. When Hoseok was asleep, he didn’t feel like he was actually sleeping. Instead of dreams, his mind was filled with memories in colors so vibrant they were nearly blinding. His world, the world he’d always known, felt so faded and seemingly colorless in comparison. This was a life; his life. His old cycle that was now blossoming with life and fervor, threatening to burst clear from his body and soar to the skies.

Hugging his chest, he leaned forward and shuddered. A cold sweat peppered across his back and neck, dripping from his nose. His hands felt clammy and cold, no matter how much he rubbed his arms up and down to soothe the overwhelming sensation wrapping around him.

He needed to get up. He needed to move. His body would lock up and go into shock if he didn’t.

Stumbling from his bed, Hoseok felt the sheets wrapping around his ankles. He collapsed in a heap on the floor, his breathing escalating as he tried to sit back up. A spike of pain struck at the forefront of his mind, causing him to cry out. Fluttering petals swirled around the bedroom as a ray of morning light seemed to spread in a cone through the large bay windows.

“Seobang-nim?”

Hoseok hummed.“Yes, what is it, Pu-in?”

She smiled, closing her eyes. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Everything.” Ehri gripped her fingers a little tighter around his. “Thank you for everything.”

Hoseok moved, causing Ehri to lift her head up so she had to look at him. While one hand held hers, his other rested along her neck. “Pu-in…”

“I love you,” she whispered to him, leaning forward to press her lips against his.

White heat burned his eyes, causing him to cover them with both hands. He screamed, the painful throb beating mercilessly against his temples. All he could do was curl up into a ball, writhing in agony as the images continued to flash in rapid succession like a camera shutter.

Laughter.

So much laughter.

Worry.

Hope.

Determination.

Resignation.

Overwhelming despair.

Rolling over onto his side, he clutched the letter in his hands as his tears soaked into his silk pillow. “No,” he whispered, his voice barely recognizable, “I don’t want to be here to see it alone. I don’t want to see it march on without you here with me.”

And then, the proverbial dam inside of him broke. Everything surged into him all at once. Every single memory of the past pulsed through him. He remembered everything.

His life as a member of the royal household’s branch family.

His parents.

His brothers.

The street market vendor who sold him the spider lily forged in metal.

"I find it hard to believe that you don't," teased the vendor, which caused Hoseok to cant his head slightly, "but let's just say that this flower isn't an ordinary spider lily. The one who forged this flower said that the tragedy still exists inside, just as the legend dictates. But unlike Manju and Saka, the one who holds this flower will be able to reunite with their loved one in the next life. Guaranteed."

And the moment he first laid eyes on Bayaraa Ehri, the woman he loved.

The woman he would continue to love even into their next life.

Sobbing into his hands was all he could do at that moment. In the midst of his pain, he was experiencing everything simultaneously. It was sensory overload at its finest.

And then there was absolute quiet.

Still. Quiet. Clarity.

Jung Hoseok and Wang Hoseok were now truly one.

Clambering to his feet, he quickly made his way to the bathroom. He showered, brushed his teeth, and got dressed. Faded jeans and a gray hoodie comprised his attire, but he wasn’t trying to impress anyone. As he left his apartment, the security lock beeping as the door closed, he beelined for the elevator. He was already dialing for a cab before the lift dinged to signify he was on the ground floor. The driver greeted him warmly, despite the late hour, and Hoseok did his best to remain polite. But desperation nearly superseded his need to be amicable.

He gave the driver the address to Erica’s hotel and as they made the drive, he called her. Her sleepy voice answered and Hoseok felt like he’d grown wings. Erica’s voice, to him, sounded like Ehri’s. And Ehri’s voice was now Erica’s. He finally understood what she meant when she said she’d been afraid too.

It must have been like this for her. It must have been like this for her for a long time.

“Erica, it’s me.”

“Hoseok-ssi?” He could hear shuffling on the other line. “Is everything alright? Are you hurt?”

He smiled, unable to keep his joy hidden. “I’m almost at your hotel. Can you meet me in the lobby?”

“Uh, sure. Let me get dressed…”

They said their goodbyes just as the cab driver announced they would be arriving shortly. He quickly paid the man, dashing toward the front entrance of the hotel. The sliding glass doors barely had time to open as Hoseok squeezed his way through them. The elevator dinged and the doors parted to reveal Erica dressed in a large sweatshirt and leggings. She was barely able to open her mouth and say his name before he pushed into the elevator, knocking her back against the wall. His lips immediately sealed over her own and she gasped, reaching up to grip at his shoulders while steadying both of them at the same time.

He broke the kiss, allowing them to breathe, and he couldn’t help but admire the pink tinge settling along her olive skin. She huffed, her chest pressed against his. He was having a difficult time discerning whose heart was beating the hardest.

“H-Hoseok,” Erica managed to say, her brows lifted in surprised, “what’s the matter?”

“I remember it all.” Hoseok watched her eyes widen even further and he leaned forward to press his forehead against hers. “I remember everything .” She moved to cover her mouth with her hand, but he grabbed it, keeping it away from her lips. He wanted to kiss her again. He wanted to breathe in her scent; her very soul into his being. “I’m me. I’m the me of today and yesterday.”

Hoseok watched her bottom lip quiver as tears filled her eyes. “E-Everything?”

He nodded. “Everything.”

They both inhaled sharply, their lips seeking eachother out. He could feel her body trembling as he held her tightly against her, not caring that he was shedding tears himself. And as their lips parted once more, he leaned down so their noses were barely touching - the swell of her mouth still so close to his own.

“Wang Hoseok missed her desperately,” he whispered against her lips, “and Jung Hoseok needs you desperately.”

He could see the trepidation visibly fleeing from her gaze. It must have been the one thing that she was still fearful over; the one thing that she didn’t want to give a voice to. Because he was afraid for the same reason.

If one spirit had more power over the other, would the other cease to exist?

But he could sense it. His consciousness and the consciousness of his old self were nestled side by side. They were choosing to coexist in this moment and for every moment that would transpire after. Half of his heart longed for Bayaraa Ehri and the other half was pulled in Erica Bronwyn’s direction. Two halves of a whole begging to be acknowledged and listened to.

Again, Hoseok kissed her full lips; drank in her very being. She didn’t have the same face as Ehri, but her soul was there - standing alongside the woman who lived in this life.

The life of Erica Bronwyn.

“You’ve dealt with this longer than I have.” He smiled against her mouth. “I’m afraid that I’ll have to request your assistance on the matter.”

Erica pulled back a measure and he took a moment to sweep his hands over her tear-stained cheeks. She did the same for him. “That’s fine,” she whispered, shifting forward so he was forced to move in the opposite direction with his back pressed against the wall. Her hand reached over to the different buttons on the elevator’s panel and she hit the one for her floor. The lift shook and then moved upward. “There’s no rush.”

Hoseok smiled openly and she, in turn, smiled as well. They were still themselves. But they were also two people pulling the past behind them. With Ehri’s illness came a sense of despair that was often smothered with the hope that a miracle would transpire. But when the end came, it was swift and merciless. Their time was short, but their love was magnanimous. Everything felt rushed, just like the manner in which he’d regained the memories of his old life.

There was no sense of urgency present. Erica and Hoseok could both take their time as pieces of their souls found solace in reuniting again. They had the opportunity to love and fall in love all over again.

The true miracle was now.

He pulled her close, nestling his face into the crook of her neck as she wrapped her arms around his. Again, he drank in her scent, pressing a hand against the back of her head - his palm resting along the thick nest of curls. For a small eternity, Hoseok held her in his arms. And seconds before the elevator dinged for the appropriate floor, he lifted his head back only to turn his face to meet Erica’s lips again, savoring the taste of her as if for the very first time. The steady drum of their hearts beat in time with one another.

Now that we have the time...

14 notes · View notes

magickdream-creations · 4 years

Text

Chapter Seven :: The Calm

“Always be genuine. People can sense when someone isn't being themselves.” - Jeffree Star

Laughter rang throughout the lair in differentiating pitches and tones. Pure, honest, unfiltered laughter. The whole group was lounging about enjoying their dinner of several large pizzas with varying topping combos. The story swaps had them all in stitches except for Casey Jones, who had a soured embarrassed expression as the current tale was a recount of his first encounter with the turtles and their master.

"Tell me you didn't actually fall for it, Jones!" Dorian was gripping his side with his right hand while the left kept him upright by bracing against the floor. Casey gave the man a pointed glare as an answer which only served to make Dorian start up another fit of laughter.

"Oh, he totally fell for it!" Michelangelo grabbed out a slice of three-cheese before leaning back in his spot on the couch.

"Hauled balls straight at Master Splinter and got his ass handed to 'em!" Raphael leaned over and bumped fists with Mikey earning a slight groan from Casey that made both teens roar with laughter again. The two youngest had found it far more hilarious since they had been the ones who had baited him into the whole ordeal.

"Kiss my ass you two," Casey grumbled before taking a drink from his soda trying his best to not let them get under his skin any more than they already had. He had not been at all amused by the recount of his unfortunate meeting though, if he were honest he would not have changed it one bit.

“Oh, that is absolutely priceless! I would have loved to have seen the look on your face Casey.” Lyra wiped a laughter induced tear from her eyes before grabbing out another slice of pepperoni for herself.

“So the whole Elite Eight thing you've mentioned in one of your stories. Is that a fancy group or some sort of ranking system?” April was genuinely curious about the inner workings of their clan. She had never heard about them until tonight and the reporter in her could not help but want in on more for a story. Dorian had almost choked on the bite of pizza he had taken but was able to chase it down with some soda before answering.

"In a sense, both assumptions would be correct. The Elite Eight is the highest skilled assassins throughout the whole organization and the four of us fall under those ranks." He watched as April leaned closer as if hoping for more detailed information on the group which only made Dorian chuckle.

"What are the ranks and what determines those ranks?" April was full of questions she wanted to be answered which in that instant seemed to make Dorian a little nervous. He knew what she was up to and he was a bit leery of telling inner workings to someone who had no real way to defend themselves. A quick scan around the room told him everyone else was listening intently to the new topic of conversation now. There was no getting around it.

“Listen. I don't mind telling you but you have to swear you will not go public with any of this until we have taken down the corruption. It is for your own safety April that you play it like you never met us or know anything about the Black Lotus. Promise?” Dorian gave a quick thought and looked over to Casey not knowing much about the guy other than he was a former cop turned vigilante. He was not taken chances on anyone getting hurt over stories. “That goes for you as well Jones. Promise?”

“Promise,” the two spoke in unison as everyone settled in more comfortably to hear the explanation Dorian was about to give them.

“Our ranks are determined by the eight codes of Bushido. The one you show most of is the rank you are put under.”

“There are only seven codes of Bushido.” Leonardo raised a brow but the tone he spoke in sounded a bit unsure which got a small chuckle from Dorian.

“Seven spoken yes but, there is an eighth one that is a sort of unspoken one that everyone should always follow when they learn or enact the Bushido way. The eight codes are as follows and in order; justice, courage, respect, honesty, honor, loyalty, wisdom, and mercy. Mercy is the one that no matter what you must show to your opponent.” Dorian paused in his explaining long enough to finish off the soda he had been working on and popped open a new one. It was enough time to let the information he gave so far sink in.

"So each of you represented a code more so than the others and that's how you're ranked? Does age not effect it at all?" Donatello was quite curious about how their ranks worked since it would mean who they had thought was the leader of their assassin friends very well could not be the leader. Dorian shifted a little from where he sat and that elicited a stifled giggle from Lyra.

“Nope! Age has nothing to do with it. We're just really nice to our big brother and let him play leader when we're out on missions.” Lyra got up and went over to Arietta who had sat away from the group to doodle in her sketchpad while she had eaten. The youngest quickly attached herself in a fierce hug causing Arietta's earbuds to pop out and the ebony-haired assassin looked not at all pleased at the interruption.

“Do you mind?”

“In fact, Arietta here is the highest ranked out of the four of us!” Lyra grinned not really paying mind that she had interrupted her sister's sketching zen. Arietta rolled her eyes having understood fully what the topic of conversation was just by what her little sister had said.

“That ranking system is ridiculous,” she spoke in a not so amused tone as she closed up her sketchbook. Her cheeks were lightly tinged with a blush of embarrassment.

“So how come Arietta isn't the leader?” Mikey was a following everything about the ranking system but the fact that the higher ranked assassin was not the one leading the team was a little confusing. Why would they have a ranking system if they did not adhere to it?

“There are several reasons. This mission tonight has really been the only mission all four of us have been on together. They never send more than two of the elites out at the same time and it's rare that the missions really call for something so drastic. Arietta over there hardly gets sent out with anyone since she doesn't play well with others." Calliope grinned up from her book on medicinal properties of plants. The way the spine was worn down showed how many times she opened it and read the contents within.

“They call it her being courageous and we call it being rash and foolish.” Lyra let out a giggle as she let go of her hold on Arietta to make her way back to the spot she had claimed on the floor. She scooted herself near the table covered with pizza boxes and picked up her slice that she had neglected in her moment of teasing.

“So says the honest one.” Arietta stuck her tongue out at her little sister and shook her head gently when she received a grin right back. With a sigh of defeat she shut off her music but she opened her sketchbook up once again to the page she had been working on. A small wave of her hand in Dorian's direction was the only signal she was going to give that she was fine with the topic at hand and that he could continue.

"Well, that covers the virtue parts of the ranking. To better protect our identities we were each given a code name in Japanese that are animals. Those animals we somehow fit so that's how the figureheads came up with the concept. I will tell them to you in English so it doesn't get redundant. The order by rank are as follows; dragon, fox, raccoon, rabbit, crow, wolf, cat, and rat. We've never had the pleasure of working with Ryuu or Nezumi before and Neko we've only ever met in passing." Dorian pulled out his final slice of pizza and took a bite figuring that was a good explanation to give to April on the ranking system of their organization.

"What about Karasu?" Master Splinter had begun versing himself in Japanese over the years as a way to pass the time so figuring out the code name for the one that wasn't mentioned did not take much thought.

“Oh, we know him pretty well. Arietta knows him even more so than we do.” The tone Lyra had spoken in was enough to suggest something on the more romantic side which caused Arietta to snap her attention up quickly.

“Damn it Lyra I told you we're just really good friends! I turned his ass down flat. End of story!”

“Right. Is that why he would follow you around like a lost puppy or got super depressed when you were away on missions?” Lyra's words instantly turned Arietta's expression from one of embarrassment to one of agitation in mere seconds. The youngest let out a squeak of surprise as her sister came racing toward her. Lyra acted fast and shot up from the floor launching herself over the table towards the couch in a rapid jump. She used the spacing between Michelangelo and Donatello, whom both were innocently sitting on the couch, so she could get behind the furniture and further her escape plan.

“I'm going to box your ears Lyra!” Arietta was right behind her little sister following the exact same path the rainbow haired sibling was taking. The laughter ringing out from everyone was not phasing her irritation in the slightest instead, it was only fueling it more.

"Someone grab her! She's on a war path," Usagi laughed out as she ran from the back of the couch to the recliner Raphael was lounging in. She jumped the sides and prayed she would be saved but her next course would be to head back towards the couch in hopes that Mikey or Donnie would be her saviors. Raph was not about to miss out on evening the score so just as Arietta tried clearing his lap as a hurdle to get to Lyra he grabbed her around her waist mid-jump making sure to grip her tight against him.

"Let me go Red!" Arietta squirmed with all of her might to try and get out of his hold to no avail. He had a damn good grip and he was not making any move to let her go. Lyra gave a victory sign with her fingers and that triumphant grin made Arietta want to pummel her sister even more so than before.

"Not a chance Foxy." Raph grinned as he kept a tight hold on her but he was nice enough to make sure he did not hurt her in any way. "Now we're even. Two to two."

“Asshole.” Arietta stopped her struggling knowing now that her efforts were completely futile. She resigned to sitting across his lap with her arms folded over her chest. She gave a slight huff of defeat.

"You love me." He grinned at her making sure only she could hear what he said that time as the laughter started dying down. She only rolled her eyes at him and turned a hard glare toward her sister who at that point was claiming her spot on the floor again. In all actuality, Arietta was trying to hide the small blush that tinged her cheeks from Raphael. She was not quite sure how to react to sitting in his lap even spite the reason for her being in the situation in the first place.

“So what was it like for you guys growing up? Did you get to go watch movies or play sports?” Casey smirked as he grabbed out the last slice of jalapeno and bacon. He put the now empty box on top of the others stacked at the side of the table.

"We didn't really have what you would call a normal childhood. Most of our lives we spent training to become the lethal weapons we are. If we weren't training we studied academically at the compound. We had a very tight and strict schedule we had to follow by." Calliope put her book down on the arm of the chair she was in before she got up to retrieve more food. She put a slice of spinach artichoke on a plate and deciding to be merciful she grabbed up two slices of Hawaiian before taking the extra plate over to Arietta. She smiled seeing the excitement light up in those violet eyes when Arietta took the plate from her and she sat her own in her chair deciding to be even nicer to her younger sibling. Retrieving the sketchbook and pens Calliope brought them to the artist and set them in her lap before taking her seat again with her refill of pizza.

“We weren't completely in the dark though. We would sneak out when we could to go to the movies or go spend a few hours in the arcades. There were a handful of times Lyra and Calliope would go to the mall on their little shopping sprees.” Dorian chuckled lightly remembering the many times when he had to listen to them act like giddy school girls while they showed off their newest purchases.

"I always thought it was funny that Hisoka knew we got new stuff but never got on to us about where we got it from or how we got it." Lyra mused out that thought and Arietta stiffened in the middle of taking a bite of her pizza. Raph only raised a brow at her as she took the bite before giving him a shake of her head subtly. He filed that away as something to ask at a later time. Another question was more pertinent for him to ask anyway.

“So did you guys get to choose your weapons or were they chosen for you?” He knew that had been a good one to ask since it caused his brothers to perk up and pay closer attention. Their weapons had been chosen for them carefully by Master Splinter and they had all been equally curious if others had been dealt the same way. Dorian was looking at the ceiling for the moment as if he was plucking the strings of thought from the very air above them.

"As initiates, we all trained in various weapon styles. Some we excelled at more than others but I suppose it was neither us nor the Weapons Master that chose. It was the weapons themselves that chose us. They just kind of fit like gloves I guess." Dorian gave a small shrug since he never really put much thought to it. He just simply knew his naginata was his and his alone. "We have many weapons in our arsenal but our main ones are our deadliest when we use them."

"Way to get all mystical on them, Dee." Arietta teased her brother as she switched out her now empty plate for her sketchbook. Her statement caused laughter to rise from all of them and even Dorian got a chuckle out of it.

“Any favorite missions you guys want to tell?” Michelangelo scooted out on his cushion of the couch with a cheesy grin on his face. After a most of the night had been spent with the four brothers recounting their own adventures. He was excited to hear a few of the assassins' tales.

“Barcelona.” Both Arietta and Dorian spoke out in quick unison while Lyra and Calliope merely groaned out together. Calliope picked her book back up to continue reading while Lyra put her face in her palm in exasperation.

“You're going to scar everybody with that one.” The rainbow haired girl moved her hand from her face to give Dorian a lighthearted glare. He answered her back with a small grin.

“What happened in Barcelona?” Leonardo was actually genuinely curious to hear about one of Dorian's missions. The more they got to know the Quintus siblings the more he began to get more curious about how Dorian worked. He crossed his arms as if to shut those thoughts in completely and lock them up tight.

“I'll let my beautiful wife over there tell this one.” Dorian looked over to Arietta who in turn was glaring daggers at him.

“I will end you.” She growled out to her big brother.

"You two were married?" Raphael was about as shocked as everyone else at that one. He could hear Casey still trying to clear his airway from his drink going down the wrong pipe. "Hold up, you're brother and sister, right? How would that even work?"

"That is the absolute worse way to start a story, Dorian." Arietta pinched the bridge of her nose to keep a small headache at bay. "We weren't really married we just pretending to be for the sake of the mission. This was only the second mission Dorian and I have ever been on. The other mission isn't near as lighthearted but we'll save that one for another time."

“Promise?!” Mikey interjected with such a hopeful tone that Arietta could not help but to laugh with the rest of the group. She moved her hand from her face and looked to the youngest turtle to give him a small nod. She made a cross sign over her chest to seal in that she promised she would before she closed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest to begin the tale.

"This happened about four years ago and our mark was the Prime Minister of Spain. The guy was using his political position as a way to keep up the flow of drugs and human trafficking. He was pretty bold about it but very thorough in making sure nothing connected back to him. The guy was a total devil and the Black Lotus was hired to get rid of him once and for all. Since pretty much everyone else had missions of their own it fell to Dorian and me to get the job done. We posed as a drug kingpin and wife so we could attend the grand masquerade party the man was holding at his estate." She paused her story and took a drink from the soda Raphael offered her before she continued on.

“It didn't take much to become buddies with the guy. He was a completely disgusting pig. He talked a bit of business with Dorian while I did my best act of playing a very sexually needy wife. A few drinks in and the guy was practically begging for us to let him in on the action or even just watch.” Arietta shivered recalling the way the guy would subtly rub against her arm or place his hand against her back.

“This sounds like something out of a movie,” April spoke gently trying to stomach the thoughts of the two siblings having to deal with such a sleazy man.

“Sometimes the movies get it right. We found his proposition as an opportunity to get him alone and away from his bodyguards so we agreed.” She gave a small shrug as she calmly told the story but she felt Raph nudge her side and she looked at him. His eyes held a bit of shocked curiosity and she had a feeling about what she was going to ask her.

“Did you two actually do anything to each other?” He did not flat out ask it but it got his point across making Arietta scoff slightly before she punched his bicep lightly.

"Oh hell no! Dorian was able to slip the poison into the Prime Minister's drink while we were in the room and we had to stall for about ten minutes for it to take effect. The most we had to do was put on an intense make-out session and my dress came off. That was it. Once the guy hit the floor we were out of there to catch our scheduled extraction flight back to Japan. No one even knew he was dead until the late afternoon and by that time we were back to the compound getting set up with our next orders." She picked up the plate from her lap intending on leaning over far enough to put it on the table. Dorian just had to open his big mouth though.

“Isn't my wife a bad ass babe?” He laughed out at his joke but yelled out as the plate Arietta had smacked him right in the forehead all Frisbee style. He rubbed his head as the room erupted into more laughter.

"You had better sleep with one eye open big brother," Calliope smirked and got a glare from Dorian in return.

“Speaking of sleep. We'd better head home and catch up on our rest.” Casey stood up and stretched a bit before fishing out the keys to the van. April stood up and gave a small stretch of her own and a little yawn to go with it.

“We're both off of work so if you guys need anything just get a hold of us.” She paused a moment and held back a laugh before she pointed at the now passed out Lyra. The bubbly young woman was using her arms as pillows as she slept against the table. “Somebody has a head start.”

"Yeah, all that hyper happiness makes her crash out like she just came down from a sugar high." Dorian stood up and was about to scoop up his sister when he felt pressure on his shoulder. He looked to the source and was a little confused to see Donnie was the one who had stopped him.

“Let me take her. I've got to get a start on going through all the data she helped me collect anyway.” Dorian gave the turtle a small nod and watched as he carefully scooped up his youngest sister with such gentle care as if she was made of glass. He could not help but smile as Donatello headed toward the spare room that had been set up as a bedroom for the four of them. Master Splinter got up from his chair and cleared his throat to get the attention of those who remained in the room.

"I suggest you all get some rest. We will begin team training once Lyra and Calliope return from their errands." He gave a tilt of his head to bid them all a good night before he headed toward his room to retire. Arietta let out a soft groan and buried her face into her sketchbook for a moment.

“It won't be that bad.” Raphael poked her side and she pulled the sketchbook away just enough to give him a slight glare.

“Have you never really work as a team?” Mikey's voice held a little concern with the way Arietta was reacting to the prospect of teamwork. Arietta closed up her sketchbook and set it on the arm of the recliner before she patted Raph's arms to let her up. He did not argue with her and let her up watching her make her way towards the room. When she was out of sight the brothers looked to the two remaining Quintus siblings. Dorian gave a shake of his head as Calliope closed her book up for the final time.

"We do find strength in working as one unit, Arietta, however, believes it better for herself to work alone. Believe me when I say that patience will be the key with her. She'll learn to do it but it will just take a lot of time and more than likely a lot of arguing." Calliope got up and started to the room but she paused seeing Arietta walking back out wearing dark jeans, combat boots, and a black hoodie. Quietly Callie grabbed a hold of her sister's arm to stop her. They locked eyes but neither said anything to one another.

“Where do you think you're going?” Dorian spoke out killing the silence as she stood up and went over to the two. His tone had an almost fatherly quality to it.

“If you want me to even think about giving this whole team thing a shot you'll let me go get some me time first. I've got to get a clear head.” Arietta looked to Dorian but she showed no real anger or agitation at either one of her siblings. Calliope let go of the arm she had in her grip and she sighed gently. Leonardo had got up from the couch and approached the trio keeping his eyes locked on Arietta.

“You're not going out there by yourself. It's too dangerous.” He readied himself for an argument as the woman was about to open her mouth to speak. Another voice completely cut her off before she could take the breath to talk.

“I'll go with 'er.” They all turned to Raphael who had been the one to speak up and he only shrugged at them. Leo smirked and looked to Ari who at that second pulled her hood over head.

“I'll go too.” He gave Dorian a smirk as the guy looked up at him in surprise. “We'll make sure she doesn't get into any trouble.”

“Great. Just what I needed. Two babysitters,” Arietta spoke in a chuckled tone but her whole body instantly tensed as Callie pulled her into a fierce hug.

"You have got your tessen?" She smiled as her younger sister nodded and gave a pat on the back rather than return the hug. Callie let her go and gave both Raph and Leo a very stern no-nonsense look. "You all had better come back safe. Two hours tops or I swear Dorian and I will come find you."

"Yes, ma'am." Leonardo smiled and lead the way as Arietta followed behind them. Raphael took up position behind her and leaned closer to the ebony-haired assassin.

“Motherly much?”

“I heard that!” Calliope shouted out which made the three of them hurry out of there. Mikey let out a small laugh having enjoyed seeing his older brothers get a little spooked.

“Remind me never to make you angry, Callie.”

#tmnt #tmnt leonardo #tmnt raphael #tmnt donatello #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt fanfiction #tmntxoc #tmnt x oc #tmnt 2016 #tmnt 2k16 #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2k14 #tmnt bayverse

3 notes · View notes