#chuck vents

[enteisabo]

somebody explain to me how you can make a plan to have dinner at 7, cook that dinner, be ready at 7, and be staring at the clock at 7:10 and be the only person who showed up for dinner. in your damn home. where all 4 of you live.

[strangeknight]

i figured out what the fuck the giant change in who i am was going to be. being here for three weeks has fucked my mental state. i need to go home i need to go HOME

[mittensmorgul]

i need to know where and how and why the concept of Free Will in supernatural has been erased... like... the whole point of the show is that humans DO have free will! like... that literally causes All The Problems for Chuck in telling his preferred story! He really, seriously leans into it in early seasons!

Chuck's Story doesn't preempt human Free Will! It USES it! He creates Situations™ where he knows what his "characters" would choose! He pushes them into making the choices they do! THAT IS THE POINT!

But then they start seeing more and more behind the layers of curtains! They get bigger and bigger glimpses of what makes their universe tick, open more doors to different parts of existence and still CHOOSE every time to stay in the fight, to not just lay down and give in to the story Chuck spends 15 seasons trying to force them into!

And I appreciate the concept of Castiel "inventing" free will for himself, but he literally did not! He learned it from watching Dean, and figured out how to apply it to himself! It's literally the point of his entire character arc, from following heaven's orders and believing fully in the righteousness of his mission from God, to his disillusionment and increasing curiosity and care for humanity in general and Dean in particular! And he goes through hell! and Purgatory! and the Empty! literally and metaphorically! over and over again! as he GROWS his own identity and learns to make his own choices!

BUT HE DIDN'T FUCKING INVENT FREE WILL!

DEAN (and Sam, and every other HUMAN character in the story!) ALWAYS HAD FREE WILL FIRST!

like... why does a lot of fandom seem to want to erase this fundamental aspect of the story and hand the only agency in the narrative to Cas? Basically erasing everything he actually struggled through to grow into that?

Especially when the final season is essentially Chuck's attempt to break their own belief in their own free will?! And he almost succeeds! BUT ALSO! He is COUNTING ON THEM TO EXERCISE THEIR FREE WILL TO ENACT HIS FINAL STORYLINE.

ugh it just... sucks all the importance of any of the characters' arcs to just say they never had a choice in anything, that none of them were ever "real" enough to have made their own choices at all. I personally find it a horrifying take on the entire narrative.

And yet... i see it stated constantly as an undeniable fact of the story. like i get we all made jokes about this during s15, but... yikes

[chuckchuck228]

Curse of an art

I drew it as a vent. I feel like shit for a long time now. Just thinking about being not enough. Everyone saying “wow! You are an artist! You have such a wonderful gift!” When I believe that it’s a fucking curse. You won’t believe how often I wanted to go into the forest and just burn all of my sketchbooks. I hate that I can draw and that I can’t live without it. I hate that I love this. I hate myself. And I hate that I used Paintbrush just to fucking cry about my feelings. I’m so sorry that I used them for that

[neverrcry]

you ever just so angry about something and you just want to stand on a rooftop and scream and scream?

[empressofthelibrary]

I wound up splashing muck all over my favorite shoes today, these bright yellow converse I haven't had for more than a month. It didn't wash out at first. I've emptied three tide pens into this shoe and I'm gonna try washing it again, but... Fuck, man, I don't want to have to replace them this fast.

[mcdennis]

there's no way that i just got yelled at by a cheese monger for being in "their space". there's no way that happened. there's no way that happened in front of my boss who said nothing.

[bakshiis]

everyone's attitude is so poor at work right now and like. i get it. our boss can be an asshole and really frustrating. but complaining to me about it instead of confronting the boss is not helping. every day at like 1pm i have four people come see me and complain for an hour about their jobs. it makes me feel like shit and makes me not want to put in the effort at work. i'm so annoyed. everyone is unhappy sometimes you gotta put your head down and do the work or just fucking quit.

[gustavosstew]

haha

[jestroer]

Anyone interested in my life and who seen my previous post about trying to quit caffeine, I did quit it fully in the last month in a half!

Did it help me in anxiety, fatigue and insomnia department? Not at all actually! Not even a little I don't think! It was a solid try on my part tho!

[silvermizuki]

In the past almost three years of me living alone, I’ve learned a lot about what should’ve been taught to me at a young age

[chuckchuck228]

I am so discussed by my art. I like only a few arts. Everything else is awful and discussing. I could've done better. And I don't deserve all the love that I get.

In the past I already didn't drew everything that was in my head because I was afraid that people won't like it. Now I don't like it.

I see improvement, yes. But it doesn't help.

This feeling hunts me for years but no matter how much I've hated the piece, I always posted it. Now I feel even more terrible when I understand that people will see this. Even if they would love it. I would hate it more.

I want to tell myself that I'm getting better mentally but I am getting worse and I know it. So worse that I can't post my art at all.

I am sorry

[neverrcry]

cannot believe the lengths that people will go to in order to be terrible and awful. i haven't gotten any of the shitty anons going around, but some of my friends have. guys. let's all grow the fuck up for a second. anon is gonna remain off on this blog for the foreseeable future.

[brainworms-all-night-long]

this shape is singlehandedly haunting my nightmares

[mcdennis]

not my co worker making a joke abt me re watching sunny and telling me to kill myself lmao and I've had to tell her several times that she cannot make those jokes with me. I do not like them they make me uncomfortable

[bakshiis]

co worker i really dislike is pissing me off right now so badly that i had to leave the basement and go upstairs.