#chuuya x chuoya

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

“Winners Don’t Do Drugs”

Summary: chuuya and chuoya’s celebration of 4:20 is cut short when the weed police arrive to investigate an anonymous tip

Notes: HAPPY 4/20 BITCHES HAVE A FUCKIN MEME LOL

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“oh shit bro i think imma bout 2 nut on ur bodey” chuuya grunted as chuoya shoved his patent-pending Pussy Rekter 69 TM further up his tight little ass.

“boy howdy pardner” chuoya purred seducktevly, yanking chuuyas nipple piercings with one tiny lil babby hand and shoving the bick further, ever further, up the tightest ass in yokohama with the other. “i cant wait to feel that sweet dick gravy all over my biscuits yall”

“HOLD UP THE FUCK BRO” chuuya SHRIEKED, shoving chuoya off the racecar bed and onto the pile of empty cheeto bags and mountain dew cans on the flor (chuuyas a fucckin l33t af mlg pro, thats why he was 360-no scoping that ass). “now is NOT the time for the sexk!”

chuoya gasped, clutching his cowboy hat to his rippling, nut-splattered pecs. “but pardner isnt it ALWAYS time for the secks?” teers rolled down chuoyas cheeks. teers of nut rolled down his ass cheeks. “i thought yall were the hron 4 meh. is my rough-ridin stallion of a bod not sexy enough for yall?”

“its not that” chuuya assured the orangenette, patting his sticky head. “im very much hrorny for ur body and lov making the sex on u bUT-“ he jestured wildly at the ninjago alarm clock on the bed stand. it looked like cole from ninjago- chuuya had asked for one that looked like lord garmadon but his bitch ass mom got him the wrong one. thx obama. right on coles chest (behind all the nut) there was a clock that said 4:20

the ninago alarm clock bussted out its ninjago alarm cOCK and ejaculated on the chuuyas. “ITS NINJA O CLOCK” he cried, gyrating his shapley birthing hips.

chuuya gravely patted the ninjago alarm clock’s throbbing erection ‘u bet ur sugar sweet ass it is” he said very seriously. he turned to chuoya, also, very seriously, with seriousness in his eyes. “it is has become THE TIME”

chuoya smorked. “well shove a horses tallywacker up my feedin hole and call me mom!” he said, pulling a bong out of his ass. “looks like its time for some good ol fashioned plant-fuckin!”

“oh yah” chuuya moaned, shoving the bong into his face mouth. “imma giv this weed the real good succ. i lov to smonk weed”

“yeehaw!” chuoya agreed, injecting preciesly one weed into his dicc.

“im so fucckin high rn!” chuuya whimpered, licking the rim of the bong to suc up that dank weed juice.

“HIGH!??? NO ONE IS GETHING HIGH WHEN THE WEED POLICE IS AROUND!!!1!” the door was knocked down, revealing EGGNOG SACKAGUCHI who had knocked down the door.

“EgGNOG??????” chuuya exclained. “how did u knock down that door?”

eggnog grinned. “they dont call me sackaguchi for nothin.” he frowned and shook his massive girthy sack at the chuuyas. “im here 2 arrest u for snorting weed”

“u dont snort weed u fuckin loser” chuuya snorted. “hav u ever even done a weed in ur life u fuckin n00b?”

“ya, i bet yall were REALLY popular in high scool” chuoya added. him and chuuya slapped their peens together. it was like a sekret handshake but like with dicks.

“i dont know what u do with weed bc im not a filthy MISCREANTS” eggnog sackaguchi screamed. he was is cry bc the chuuyas were right and he was a fucckin loser. his tears fell onto his limp ballsack. “all i know about weed is that weed is BAD and u fuckos are going to WEED JAIL”

chuuyas dick got super duper mega erect with excitement!!!! “a hole jail made of weed!??” he screamed. “all my dreams are coming tru!!! next thing u know it gordon ramsay will burst thru the wall like the kool aid man and start giving everyone hot blowies!” a 6’2 angery blond guy burst thru the wall like the kool aid man and chuuya cremed his jenes! “OH MY FUCK ITS GORDON RAMSAY” chuuya whimpered loudly, thrusting his eager and ready asshole toward the new arrival. “TAKE ME RAW GORDEN, MY BODY IS READY”

the blondette pushed his glasses up his nose so they did the anime thing. “im not gordon ramsay u ignrorant slut” he growled. “yeah this is my weed police partner kunikidonk” eggnog said smugly. he said everythign smugly bc he was a stupid fuck.

kunikidonk knodded. “yea that. i am heer to handcuff u-“

chuuya sprinted ass-first at kunikidonk shriekign at the top of his lungs “YES DADDY YES!!!!TIE ME UP SCOTTY”

eggnog slapped chuuya in the face with his massive sack. “DONT TAKE THE NAME OF STAR TREK IN VAIN U FILTHTY WHORE” he shrieked. he got so angery he popped a sack boner!

“but w8 yall!” chuoya exclaimed. “how did yall even know chuuyall and me were doin weed?”

kunikidonk did the anime glasses thing again. “we got a tip off from an anonymous source”

“you can get your tip off on me anytime gordon daddy” chuuya panted, humping kunikidonks leg. “i can locate ur lam sauce- in my ASS!!!!!1!!”

“yall just wait” chuoya growled as sackaguchi handcuffed him to his massive sack and dragged him out the door. “ill find out who snitched if its the last thing i do!”

“youll NEVRE find out!” eggnog laffed cruelly. “it was a top-secret classified anonymous person and i would never tell u that it was cyuya!”

chuuya stopped grinding on kunikidonk long enough to be outraged. “IT WAS CYUYA?!”

“HOLY SHIT IT CAN READ MY MIND!!!” sackaguchi screeched. he was so freked out that he uncuffed chuoya from his sack and jumped out the window! at least he meant to jump- his thicc sacc got stucc and kunikidonk had to push him out.

kunikidonk shook his head sadly as he handcuffed the chuuyas and dragged them out the door. “you too are going to b behind bars for a long, long time”

“oh daddy how long is it?” chuuya salivated.

kunikidonk crouched down so he could look chuuya seriously in the eyes. “ten to twenty-five”

chuuya fainted from pleasure!!!!!

as kunikidonk pulled his sick-ass polise car out of the apartment, chuoya looked out the back window and saw cyuya smirking evilly.

“WHY DID YALL BETRAY ME BROTHER” chuoya sobbed over the sound of his breaking hart and withering boner. “WHY DID YALL CALL THE WEED POLICE”

cyuya shook his head in sadness as he pressed a button on the remote control he was holding. the remote control was to control the bomb he planted in kunikidonks police car and when he pressed the button it blew the fuck up. tears poured down cyuyas face, wiping away the blood and nut stains on his cheeks. “winners dont drugs.”

[nemwinaswenzhimetsten]

My bestie aka Chuuya didn't. Enjoy Chuuya falling on his ass™.

[ol-razzle-dazazzle]

CHUUYA X CHUOYA

They say that birds of a feather flock together.

But they never said that one typo could create such a magnificent human being.

Chuuya, like most people, was incredibly perplexed, as well as fucking pissed that the common typos of his name manifested into a separate entity. 

The Eldritch-Lovecraft-Shitpost-Lovechild-esque being being called ‘Chuoya’, for convenience. To say his name was but a delicate mistake, a slip of the tongue. But even despite that, there was an urge, for but a split second, for Chuuya to slip his tongue on his fellow uh…entity? 

It was strange, because they were not the same. Sure, they wore the same clothes, apart from a strange cowboy hat on Chuoya, who claimed it was from an interdimensional adventure after fighting a very, very high moon. They looked the same aside from this difference, although due to this frustration Elise tied a red ribbon around one of Chuoya’s sleeves.

Not that Chuuya would be able to tell if the two weren’t wearing anything.

…

God fucking damnit he thought that. 

“Yes y’all did.” What the fuck.

Chuuya turned to see the object of his affections, his heart racing because who the fuck randomly bursts in like that. With a seething tension he forgot how damn…siren-like that southern drawl was. 

“Who the fuck randomly bursts in like that?”

“Y’all say that, but y’all didn’t go on forgetting about what you just thought.” Sapphire eyes squinted in a smirk. Chuuya had no fucking clue what he was saying.

“How did you even know that?” A red flush, and an attempt to salvage. “If I even did think that. Which I didn’t.”

“I thought you’d know.” Chuoya tips his cowboy hat. “It’s my ability.”

“…For the tainte-”

“For the YAINTED SORROW.” A wide beam, “Instead of defying gravity, I just defy physics.”

“Uh…”

“It’s called breaking the fourth wall. I mean if you squint your eyes enough you can see that after I say something there’s a full stop and some quotation marks.” Oh, and Chuuya will probably have some confused reply.

“God I could kiss you right now.” 

“Well hey, subverting expectations is part of comedy and-” Chuoya ceases his decimation and taking over the third person perspective. “W-What?”

“I’ve thought about it for too long, it’s…”

“Become a part of me.”

Chuuya gasps softly, “Holy fuck we even finish each other’s-”

“I hate that trope in cheesy romcoms.” Four eyes of sapphire widened at each other. “

I’d write more, but let’s just say that there may as well have been a Chuuya with the ability Beast Beneath the Moonlight because honey, they were going at it all night. Also, I don’t write nsfw. I’m a memefucker, not a meme fucker, very big difference. I do however, would like to take this metaphorical fade to black sex scene trope to appreciate the fucking madmen that do write this shit. All the keks my friend.

Speaking of kicks, 69 weeks later they had a child. Well, like most memes, they had a satanic creation. Chuoya chopped off part of his ‘hair noodle’ and planted it with their meme farm. Yes, the Port Mafia has a meme farm. How the fuck else do you think Bones gets this shit? You think this is an accident? No, this was all planned from the very beginning. First it’s the memes, then it’s your mind.

“CHILLING WITH A HAIR TIE.” The beautiful chirp at 5 am like crows screeching in a gothic film. “NO NOODLE WiTH SOME SWEATPANTS ON.” 

“I am so proud of our son.” Chuuya weeps, clinging onto Chuoya, their son was growing healthy, eating kale and quinoa salads sprinkled with salt and pepe. geddit because y’all hc chuuya as french and pepe and pepper and frencaise eat le frogs.

kill me. 

this was not written by dazai, probably. “What in gravitation?”

“We’re running out of the joke.”

“I am the joke.”

“Who is writing, who is typing, time is an illusion.”

Either way, there is one thing to be certain of in life. 

And that is that like the endless black void that will with 69 eternities consume itself, love and memes also are constants within the universe, corrupting, giving life and death in our universe.

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

happy girthday

Summary: when chuuyas villainous twin brother cyuya murders his weed dealer ranpo, chuoya attacc, but he also protecc

Notes: crackfic won the poll so i figure what better way to celebrate fanfic writer appreciation day or whatever its called than with some good ol fashioned meme fuckery and bagel ass eating, have fun kids

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“romeo no homeo, wherefore art that tight little ass romeo?” chuuya grunted hornily as he jacked himself off over a balcoeny. he’d gotten drunk off his ass watching the 2004 phantom of the opera movie adaptation with jerard butler in it again which always put him in teh mood 4 dicks n secks. unfortunely for chungus nobody loved him enuff to squeeze his sweet summer sausage. chyuuya began 2 cri.

“o woe is me” he sobbed, sadly storking his half-limp shrimp dick “i wish I had a romeo of my very own 2 take big hits off my beef bong and/or fuck me senseless on top of a shandeleer”

ranpo appeered out of NOWHERE with 3 bongs up his ass and 2 to seven blunts crammed in each arousedly quvering nostril. “did sOMEBODY say WEED????”

“i sed bong” chuuya repleyed angrily crossing his arms and also his dick

ranpo poked chuuyas dick with his extendable flexible sexily bendable scrotal snake. “IS THAT A WEED” he shrieked as his noot-noot started doin the shoot-shoot.

kermet the frog burst thru the door like the cool aids man and shanked rabpo to deth with a giant ass green crayawn that was actuelly his frock (frog cock). “ITS NOT WEED U PEACE OF SHIT STONER” he scremed as he beat the shit out of ranpo

ranpo dragged  his bloody pulp of manggled flesh toweard chuuya useing his weener like a grappleing hook. “o daddy” he whimpered tragically. he coughed up blood, nut, and ten to pounds of the devils lettceplay. “i am the ded” he died.

while chooya was crieying/nutting over the smushed up corpse of the artest formerly known as ranppo, kermot creped toerd the bodey and snagged up the weed with his long veiny tongue.

“YOU IGNORANT FOOLS” he cried swelling to his magestic height of 5’3” as his boner swelled to ITS majestic height of 6’8”. his frog skin slid away to revel a green tracksoot with wite stripes and he tore off a rubber mask so his radient orange hair could flow freely except it couldnt cuz it wass matted with nut and also the blood of his enemies. there was no noddle. “ITS FITNESS TIME MOTHERFUCKERS!”

chuuya GASPEd. “cYUYU HAKOSHO??!??” he exclammed. he remmaried the clam and then exclaimed “HOW UNFORESKINNABLE”

“thats rite slut!” said cyuya smugly as he shoved each tender leaf of mariagge iguana up his tite little ass. “trembol in fear, for u and ur loose buttholed compainon rampo never stood a chance! its time for u to fitness gram pacer test-“ he wipped out a glock and also his erecktion “-DEATH” cyuya stuck his sexin’ noodle into the trigger and flexed it to shoot chuuya in the hed

“YALLDVE GONNA GET REKT PARDNER” yelled chuoya angerly as he leapt in front of chuuya and proteccted him  from cyuyas rath. the bullet rebounded off chuoyas rock hard erection and hit cyuya in the dick hole. cyuya collapsed in a heap of corpse.

chuoya cradled chuuyas head in his bara tiddys. “yehaw buddy youve been thru a rough ridin’ rooty tootin’ ready for shootin’ kinda day aint ya pal?”

chuuya sniffled and wiped his nose nut onto chuoyas hair noddle as he fondled the tiny sheriff badges chuoya wore over each perky nipple. “i most certainly have good comrade” he whimpered sexily. “pls, wipe of my tears with ur cowboy crotch cable”

“ill do ya one better m’pardner” chuoya replied tipping his hat and winking with all three eyes, “ill make ya brekfast”

“just dont make it tWO fast if u now wat i mean” sed chuuya seductively as he spred his noddle limbs wide for his cowboy compainon. one of his legs brushed over ranpos ded bodey so he moved it back. “take ur tim daddy”

chuuya was dissapointed when it turned out chuoya actuaely ment that he was making brekfast. “o” he sighed disapointedly “so when u sed u’d make brekfast, u ttoaley ment it”

chuoya took 8 bagels out of the toster. “wat else could i possibley hav ment? now shov these up ur ass”

“now ur talkin dady!” chuuya shrieked exceitely as he opened up his buttholeio with glee

chuoya slowly and tenederly insulted the bagles into chuuyas ass. “get in there u punk bitch motherfuckERES” he roared “ur bagel mothers never loved u! that outfit makes ur bagle ass look too flat for a rap song!” the bagels sobbily lept into chuuyas anus

“i am packed to the brim with bagely goodness” chuuya whimpered satisfiedly “now pack me with ur schleen queen 2017!”

chuoya tenderly inserted his titanic tallywacker into chuuyas fresh young asshole so preceisly and smartly that it went thr the holes in the bagels and pulled them all out at once like a shishkabob. “happy girthday bitch” he whispered sexily into chuuyas poop chute.

chuuya nutted 17 times at once! chuuya and chuoya ate bagels rosted on a fire they made out of cyuya and rnapos corpses and they all fucked happily ever after the end

[ol-razzle-dazazzle]

honestly I love the chuuya mispelling meme i’m writing chuuya x chuoya fanfiction rn but all I think of when I see Cyuya is Jacob Satorius’ Sweatshirt

it haunts me