#coffee and protien in a blender it is

[felidaefatigue]

growth is letting myself be the asshole who makes an espresso and a smoothie at 6am

[bigwishes]

I hope you grant my wish:

I wish to be a muscle stud, but I want to be the stinkiest and slobbiest guy to ever exist.

Sure bro and I think I got the perfect transformation from you.

You lean back in your office chair shortly after sending your request when you feel a strange sensation was over your body. You begin to feel you body pump itself up. Your veins become visible and blood rapidly pumps around you body trying to get oxygen to your inflating muscles. You hear your office chair squeak as you feel yourself getting bigger. You try to stand up and got check yourself out in the mirror but as you try to stand you feel a pain in your gut. You watch as a cut six pack forms on your body, the six pack continues to push forward as you become painfully bloated, you hadn't even fully stood up yet before you fell backwards into your office chair. You began to sweat slightly, rubbing your six pack to try and ease the pain you can't help but burp trying to release the pressure building up in your gut.

Your wish came true, well most of it. There was practically no B.O, you were just a bit sweaty from transformation, and a bit bloated. But as the minutes passed that passed too and soon you were able to get up out of your office chair and walk around the house. You were a bit disappointed, you were expecting some hot B.O and sweaty.

You got up from your chair and began to walk around. You walked down your hallway and began to feel heavy. Like gravity was increasing on you, you began to slow down as sweat dripped down your skin. You looked down, it looked like you were getting bigger? but you weren't sure in the dark hallway, one thing you did notice was the wet feeling in the carpet, it was running off your body and seeping into the carpet. You walked down the hallway, slowing down with each step. You found yourself in your lounge room totally out of breath. You stomach grumbled as you began to feel bloated again. You flopped your new jock body onto your couch. You felt the sweat intensify, running down your back, soaking your underwear and seeping into your couch. Suddenly a controller appeared in your lap. but you don't remember buying the latest console, you look up at your TV and see a shooter loaded up, suddenly there were earphones in your ears and a voice coming through.

"hey anyone got a mic?" a guy asked

You couldn't take it anymore, you had no control and you just...

"BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRP" you released an enormous belch into the open mic

"broooo, don't fuckin burp into the mic" another guy said

"-UUUURRRP, sorry bro *hic" You couldn't help yourself from burping into the mic again.

---- After the game was over you found yourself no longer feeling bloated, but instead starving, right as you went to stand up suddenly a blender filled with ice cold protein shake appeared in your hand, and a bowl of chicken and rice resting on your thigh, there was no need to get up, you meal was right here. You chugged your shake, only stopping to take a breath and let out a small burp, in between massive gulps you practically inhaled mouthfuls of chicken and rice.

After your miraculous meal you once again found yourself so bloated you couldn't get up, so you played another game, and had another meal, and another game, an another and another. The sounds of people complaining about you burping into the mic didn't bother you, you didn't even notice yourself swelling with size after each meal. The longer you played the bigger you got and the worse you stunk, you didn't even notice your rank stench most of the time, only when you would reach down to scratch your ass drenched in sweat and lift up your fingers to be grossed out by your stink and laugh into the mic about how bad you reek.

"BUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRP, aah fuck, so blo- *hic* ted...ahh my protien shake, right on time..hey is that a second one on the coffee table? mmmmmmmm and a nice big plate of pasta for after my chicken, oh cool and a whole box of protein bar's to snack on whilst I game"

enjoy your muscle bound life bro as a big slobberish gamer meathead

[healthpsypsy]

Topic: Self-esteem

 First thing in the morning:

 How many hours of sleep

I finally went to sleep close to 3. Marah was up coughing all night, so I didn’t stay asleep too long. I probably got close to 6 not so sound hours of sleep

 Second post of day:

 How much coffee have I had this morning?

Two 8 oz cups 

 Six Questions:

 What have I done since my last post?

Besides slept, I’ve made my coffee, changed & dressed Marah, ate while watching Daniel Tiger, and gathered her medical information since I’m pretty sure that a doctor’s appointment is in order

 How am I feeling on a scale from 1-10

5.5  My ears are ringing and I feel internally shaky, combined this is putting my anxiety over the edge

 Does my neck/back hurt more than usual?

My shoulder blades won’t stop popping. I am stressed.

 Have I eaten? Was it for nourishment or was it to fill the time? Am I craving something in particular? 

For breakfast, I made my Lifestyle Mix in my blender bottle. IE, no banana today. I really want a salad today, and I think the recall on romaine has passed so maybe I’ll be able to have one with our pizza tonight. I don’t feel like mindlessly eating, though the shakiness is making me want to eat a full steak. I need something with more protien in it, I just don’t have the time to make it yet. Maybe my iron levels are off again?

What am I thinking about? Have I been rumitating? Where are these thoughts leading me? Could I be misinterpreting things?

If I take Marah to the doctor, they’re going to be annoyed with me bringing her when she’s clearly okay. It seems like I get an eye-roll whenever I bring her. But that’s what they’re there for. Besides, its not like she hasn’t been sick less than three days, and it’s not like I bring her in ALL the time. She obviously isn’t feeling better, so I need to speak to someone that has more knowledge than I do. She may not be projectile vomiting, but she’s not improving. I wouldn’t be so hard on myself if it wasn’t for Marah’s lovely teacher acting like I’m such a horrible mother for telling Marah what to do. UGH I can’t stop second guessing myself the last few months.  I am also annoyed with Leprino forcing Mario to work overtime on his 5 day work week, plus a day shift in the middle of his night shifts to boot. I literally work my entire schedule around his. I can’t find time to get the things I need to do done now. I want to cry. I’m not perfect. I can’t do everything with a toddler on my hip, especially when said toddler is going through a wonderful hair-pulling stage. 

 Am I currently arguing with someone close to me? Who am I blaming?

No, though the shaky feeling almost made me want to start arguing with Mario for not being up yet.

 Am I being constructive?

It’s hard to focus when I can barely type and it’s hard to gain balance when I can’t even shut the door to my own bathroom.

 Do I feel confident in my abilities as a person? Do I feel in this moment I deserve the same treatment as everyone else?

No, I feel like all the medical professionals throughout the town think I’m an idiot. Okay, that’s an exaggeration. But I feel like I should be able to diagnose my daughter on my own and treat her accordingly. I don’t know why. I think I should get the same treatment, but since I never went to medical school during the phases in my life that I wanted to, I’m a failure that will never have a “real job” regardless of how much education I obtain. I wish I could prove myself! 

 If I have just been out in public, how at ease was I? Did I feel talkative? Anxious? Lethargic? Calm? If I’m not going out, how would I feel if I went out as I am?

I don’t want to leave the house. I feel like if I went out right now, my hands would shake off of my wrists and everyone will think I’m on drugs. Obviously I can control this, but that’s how I feel! I hate how judgy people are when they find out I’ve lived here all my life. Like living in Greeley means that I’m this fiend that is just SO horrible and abuses children and doesn’t think of anyone but herself. I want to crawl under a rock.