#coffeehead

[buffalo-biff]

If you order decaf at a cafe I legally get to come in and remove all of the skin from your body.

Sorry man, should've ordered tea.

[gaypeoplemusic]

i ordered a babycchino, thinking it was just a tiny cappuccino, and the barista looked at me and said "you know this is just steamed milk and it's meant for babies, right?". humiliating. bad grade in coffee order

[tunacocina]

mutuals waterposting is kind of inspiring me out my 3 coffees a day without drinking water lifestyle.... maybe i could enjoy a cold glass of water now and then. Maybe i could enjoy a few sips 🥤

[bovineblogger]

i pass by this farm/market/cafe every time I visit my girlfriend but I never make the stop because it's usually too late in the day for coffee...

its never too late for coffee if you are a COFFEEHEAD LIKE ME!!! COFFEE GO GUGLUG!!! (i genuinely think my blood caffeine levels have reached critical mass)

[heckinpupperino]

coffee date at 7pm is diabolical work is he 15

RIGHT LITERALLY. Ok funny but i hate this because it implies im dating a 15 year old 😭😭 and i was trying to be nice/nonalcoholic about it but i was lowkey like Um so why didnt we just go to a bar or something and he was like Oh im not a drinker. Okay well bitch im not a coffeehead like were just gonna have to come to a consensus on the liquid were consuming and just saying at 7pm and 25 years of age wine makes more sense than mochas

[pukad0n]

it turns out i am a huge coffeehead i’m so sorry testament .

[namira]

I'm gonna be honest, and maybe I'll get some haters for speaking this truth, but the idea that like fancy schmancy coffee tastes notably better than cheap grocery store stuff has no basis in reality. I think coffeeheads or w/e that lot calls themselves is experiencing a placebo effect.

[bunnywand]

coffeeheads are always saying shit like “gotta have my cup of chino!!” ☕️🤣

[consistantly-changing]

[Image descriptions in order: an ask Reddit post by u/robottle4 titled "What's the weirdest thing you've done while your brain was on autopilot?"]

[The rest of the images are screenshots of Reddit comments, replying to this post. They say: u/NoHomersAllowed: Pulled into my complex, walked up the stairs, my keys wouldn't open the door and then I realized it had been seven years since I had lived there.]

[u/tiffaniac: Meeting my brother's in-laws for the first time. They asked me what my name was. I said "Pete". My name is Tiffani.]

[u/Aurora320: Poured orange juice instead of milk into my cereal, put the bowl of cereal into the fridge, walked back to the table with nothing wondering where the fuck I put my cereal.]

[u/pyrrhicvictorylap: Instead of ground coffee, I put a couple scoops of sugar in my coffee filter and brewed it. u/Ryman_Playz replies: How did it taste u/j_the_a replies: Like sweet, sweet failure.]

[u/LoneMantiss: Once while playing an intense board game, I was concentrating so hard that my buddy realized that he could just hand random things to me and I'd take them and put them in my jacket pocket or place them on the table in front of me. I only realized when I ran out of space to put things.]

[u/Cactus_octopus: put my phone in the fridge to "charge" u/swissarmyturtle replies: Makes sense.]

[u/the_guy_guy_guy: I have poured my dog a bowl of cereal instead of giving her food multiple times.

[u/CoffeeHead: I used to fall asleep in class quite often, and normally my writing would trail off in to something illegible and then I'd be out for the count for 10/15 mins. One time I woke up after an in-class power nap to find that my writing had trailed off and then I'd written "my son" as clear as anything at the end of the sentence. I was 13/14 at the time and don't have any children.]

[u/SalletFriend: I ordered a meatlong football from subway. I then got upset when the dude had no idea what I wanted. Then we both laughed.]

[u/hotmaleescort: Cleaning up my face with electric clippers. Thought, "Oh, missed a spot." and proceeded to shave off my fucking eyebrow.]

[u/Stanimality: I worked in an outgoing call centre, left and joined an inbound call centre. The amount of times I would say "Hi, my name's Stanimality just calling to see if xyz" when answering the phone was off the charts. People get very confused when you they've rang you and you act like you're the one ringing.]

[u/helpilostmypants: When I was 18, hanging out with my then girlfriend at her place. Fell asleep for a bit, and when I woke up she said, "you're cute when you sleep." My immediate sleep-brain reply was, "not when seven people end up dead."]

[u/romulusbc: I cared for a horse for several years. First thing in the morning I would go put feed and water in the field, lead her out, and close the fence behind her. One morning as I'm walking back into my house, I hear a weird sound behind me. The sound of hooves on linoleum. She looked as surprised as I was that I had brought her into my kitchen. Luckily, she never told anyone so my secret is still safe.]

[Uncredited: The other day I was checking in at an amusement park. After the guy scanned my ticket, I, for some unknown reason, held out my hand. And the guy handed me his scanner. u/Usually_lurks12 replies: I knew none of those people where paid. They all just pass on the torch.]

[Uncredited: I grabbed my "lunch" on my way out the door for work in the morning. I kept wondering what that beeping noise was the whole drive there. Couldn't figure it out. Got to work and grabbed my lunch, only to realize I had actually grabbed the baby monitor.]

[u/lil_beefer: I had to go to Walmart once after finishing my midnight cashier shift from a competing grocery retailer across the street. I absentmindedly grabbed my stuff, approached the cashier and asked her if she found everything ok. We stared at each other blankly for a little bit.]

[u/Dewey_Oxberger: Woke up early Monday morning in a bit of a panic. I had forgot to buy cat food yesterday. The cat must be starving. I hurry and get ready for work. I plan a detour to the store to buy the cat food. On the drive there I'm planning my run into the store and I realize I don't know what isle the food is on. How could I not remember what isle the cat food is on? Then it hits me. I don't have a cat. I haven't had one for several years.]

[u/GeneraljesterI'm a security guard for Amazon and I have to do bathroom checks. Caught myself yelling "SECURITY!" right before going to the restroom at a bar on my day off. Thank God it was empty.]

[u/FiveAgst1: When I was in school (6th grade I think) my mom would make my bagged lunch. She would wrap soda cans with aluminum foil so they would stay cold (pretty sure that doesn't work). One day I un-wrapped my soda and discovered she packed me a beer that day.]

[u/glitterphobia: My husband and I had an inside joke. Whenever someone lost something, the other person always asked, "have you checked inside your butt?" I was in a meeting at work (conservative and traditional corporate office) one day and a coworker said, "I can't find my pen." Without any thought or hesitation I quickly responded, "have you checked inside your butt?" As soon as I said it, I snapped back to reality and realized I was at work. As you can imagine, everyone went silent and stared at me as my face turned bright red.]

[Uncredited: Had a pet rat out roaming with me while I made some toast. cleaned up, put the rat in the fridge and didn't realise until I put the butter in the cage that oh shit Went to reclaim the rat, she was all "Fuck off, the food box is MINE now". Already gotten into the ham. u/whatsmellslikeshart replies: That was the best day of that rat's life. u/Taleya replies: I rushed all over there concerned and apologetic and she's fuckin' arse-deep in a packet of ham and actually tried to cling to the door as I took her out. She'd seen fuckin' paradise and wasn't leaving. u/touchedbyamallangel replies: YOU CAN'T MAKE ME GO BACK]

[u/jefferlewpew: Spent ages cooking dinner only to pick the plate up and empty it straight into the bin. I was so tired and hungry, I cried

u/mynameisadamorisit: I was making breakfast one early morning and cracked my eggs straight into the garbage.]

[u/Kahzgul: Oh man. Okay, I'm late to the party here, but I've got a great answer for this. I was working as a summer counselor at a college, helping incoming freshmen pick classes and stuff like that. The job was exhausting, but I loved it, so I poured my all into it, making arts and crafts in my off time to make the experience more fun for the kids, writing skits, building sets and costumes, that sort of thing. The result was that I barely slept (3-4 hours per night, for 3 months on end). One night, around 3 am, just as I was going to bed, I realized that I'd forgotten to tell my kids that tomorrow's meeting was in my office, and not at the outside benches where we'd met the day before. Oops! So I sat down to write a note for each of my students. Here's what I wrote:

Hi (Student Name), Just letting you know that we're all meeting in my office tomorrow at 9 am instead of at the benches. Thanks, Kahzgul]

[Simple, right? i sat down to write out 12 notes and I was dozing off as I did so. Finally got them all done around 4 am and delivered them under each student's dorm room door. Slept for 3 hours! The next morning at 9 am sharp, the students started filing into my office. As they sat in the chairs, one asked, "Mr. Kahzgul, why didn't I get a funny note like everyone else?" Um... what? I didn't write any funny notes. wrote.. Oh God. I had been dozing off... WHAT DID I WRITE??? And here, dear reader, is what the notes said:

Dear (student), Just letting you know that I see bicycles bicycling. --Kahzgul

Dear (student), Just letting you know that we're all crazy everywhere. You can eat here, enjoy the food. Thanks, Kahzguuuuuul

Dear Student (I actually wrote "student" instead of their name), Student student student. Student. --Kahzgul]

[Dear (student), Just letting you know that office buildings explode. Love, Kahzgul

Dear (student), I don't know why I'm writing this. I see it. Maybe.

Dear (student), Just letting you know that we're all meeting people all the time everywhere we go. Thanks, Kahzgul (and then I drew a heart with an arrow through it)

Dear (student), Just letting you know that we're all meeting in my room tomorrow morning at 9 am. SHARP ! sharp. *sharp*. **SHARPPPPP**. --**KAHZGUL** (sharp)

The other notes were all the intended message. Needless to say, I was freaked the hell out. Thank GOD my students thought this shit was hilarious, because I do not, to this day, remember writing any of those (but they were definitely in my handwriting).

edit: Gold! I'm so happy that this story is making so many people laugh!]

(source)

[whatsapersona]

Becoming a coffeehead

[compostt]

Coffeeheads deciding which bitter sauce they like more

[stillmother]

i have to be honest i dont understand why people get so mad at coffeeheads. someone shares a fun little coffee gadget they got so they can make their special little lattes at home and the comments are always full of the most insane crazy vitriol ive ever seen

[username-not-registered]

I think this may finally unite Coffeeheads and Teanniseurs under a common enemy

hi everybody please reblog this and tell me your go-to coffee order right now and if you don't like coffee feel free to include your go-to tea order instead

[abandonedsdjfhcvndfbv]

I want a new mug thats really fucking huge so ican havw more coffee per cup Im coffeeheaded again because at home coffee is way better than at my parents house

[distantespresso]

[skjelettking]

Skjelettsketch book vol.1

IG