#comedy gold right here folks

[aaronandthecrew]

-blaring "Running in the 90s" at full blast-

[morgana-ren]

Honestly I am endlessly amused that Astarion is somehow so charming and seductive but at the same time, occasionally can't beguile his way out of a paper bag.

Killed a boar in a recognizably vampiric way? Better let it die in the road and act sketchy when your party finds it.

Try to take a nibble from your teammate? Get caught before your teeth even break skin and freeze, only getting a bite with their express permission and possibly get your nuts kicked up into your pelvis for your efforts.

Get discovered talking about killing your companions to the hostile spirits swarming an evil book of necromancy you simpered at your teammate to give to you? "Ah. ... Hello!"

Astarion is a dumbass and I love him.

He is, quite literally, the LEAST inconspicuous vampire of all fucking time.

Constantly smiles with his whole mouth, showing off that very sharp pair of teeth. You could argue that maybe he's one of those folks that just has super sharp canines, but it's a bit too much for that.

Will let you put him in outfits that very blatantly show off the prominent bite scars on his neck. Doesn't even try to hide it. Just assumes you don't notice when you don't ask about it.

Dude is as pale as I am. Is that damning off the bat? No. But when coupled with everything else--

His eyes are red. Not russet. Not fall brown. Not honey. Red. He does not put in the effort to learn a disguise spell to at least make him look human and hide the attributes that make him look like a straight up vamp.

He immediately gets the guiltiest expression of all time when you stumble on the boar. Literally, don't click any of the options and just watch him for a minute. Comedy gold. Also, no one else freaks out like he does. He might as well say "Hey, definitely don't check out that boar that I didn't kill. I wasn't even here! I was with you guys and not with the boar that I didn't kill-- not that you accused me. But don't look at it. It's boring and definitely not important at all. Seriously guys. Seriously."

There's HOARDS of people he could snack on. Like tons of baddies that he could sneak off and have a nibble. What does he do? He bites you. In camp. In front of Bane and everyone. Just hopes that you're asleep enough to definitely not notice what's happening. Now, you could argue this is something special to him and he wants his first time to be with someone he likes and trusts, but it's also just hilarious to picture that he's just fucking lazy and thinks he's slyer than he really is.

He was probably very naturally charming before he became a vampire, and might've become a master manipulator had Cazador afforded him the rights he ought to, but instead, they sort of stagnated in slavery. Now he's trying to pick back up where he left off, but he's so bad at it.

[tuttle-4077]

The 2024 Papa Bear Awards Winners

Wooooooo! The results are in, folks. I have them here, right in my hot little hands! Are you ready? Okay, here goes.

Best Short Comedy/General Story

Gold

Voice of Reason by @rose-of-pollux

Silver

Soundtrack to a Seance (Guess Who) by Khebidecia

Bronze

Little April Showers (Guess Who) by Fear-Of-The-Cold

Sergeant 'Don't You Sass Me, Hogan' Wilson by @whatisthismandoinghere

Best Short Drama

Gold

Spring Flowers (Guess Who) by Tuttle4077

Silver

Well and Truly Got by Cardinal Rose

Bronze

The Queue (Guess Who) by Abracadebra

Best Medium-Length Comedy/General Story

Gold

Once is Enough by Abracadebra

Silver

Operation Mother Hen by Tuttle4077

Bronze

Drop Bears by dust on the wind

Best Medium-Length Drama

Gold

In Too Deep by @rose-of-pollux

Words of a Wise Wilson by @whatisthismandoinghere

Silver

Ashes by LightShiner14

Bronze

Cracking the Vault by Sierra Sutherwind

Decoration Day by Abracadebra

Best Long Story

Gold

Uneasy Company by dust on the wind

Silver

The Winds of the World by Fear-Of-The-Cold

Bronze

Klink's Brother by Sam Worth

Best Challenge-Based Comedy/General Story

Gold

Once is Enough by Abracadebra

Operation Mother Hen by Tuttle4077

Silver

A Brother's Bond by PicassoPenguin

Gone Without a Trace: Uncovering the Truth behind the Missing Mug by Sierra Sutherwind

Bronze

Klink's Brother by Sam Worth

The Murder That Never Happened by Khebidecia

Best Challenge-Based Drama

Gold

Uneasy Company by dust on the wind

Silver

In Too Deep by @rose-of-pollux

Bronze

War is Heck by Abracadebra

Best Episode-Based Story

Gold

Decoration Day by Abracadebra

Drop Bears by dust on the wind

Silver

War is Heck by Abracadebra

Bronze

Heroes by Sam Worth

Best Crossover

Gold

Support Operations by ami_ven

Silver

Enfilade by pronker

Bronze

The Sheeps Clothing Raid by graveyardnuggets

And now, the ULTIMATE Story Honour.....

THE BEST STORY OF 2023

Gold

Once is Enough by Abracadebra

Silver

Drop Bears by dust on the wind

Bronze

Uneasy Company by dust on the wind

(More to come, but I gotta put the kiddos to bed)

[fredseibertdotcom]

Behold, the king of online cartoons

Ex-Hanna-Barbera whiz Fred Seibert blazing a trail with YouTube network

A couple of times over the years, then-USA Today’s entertainment and tech reporter (and photographer) Jefferson Graham was nice enough to feature me in an article about the cartoons I was producing. First time was in the late 90s with “Oh Yeah! Cartoons,” but in 2015, with streaming video finally reaching the mainstream press (Channel Frederator actually started in 2005) and Graham’s animator son joining our network, he revisited.

Thanks to animator Michael Hilliger, who sent over his copy of the article in 2024.

By Jefferson Graham USA Today July 17, 2015

LOS ANGELES — Fred Seibert wants you to have his card.

And his phone number. He even won't mind if we print his fred@frederator.com e-mail address right here in USA TODAY.

Seibert, 63 is the online toon king, with 400 million views monthly to his Channel Frederator network on YouTube, but he's never sure where his next hit will come from.

So he's always out there looking, at schools, industry gatherings, book signings. You name it.

Next weekend, he'll be at the Vidcon convention near Los Angeles, a gathering of folks who make their living off YouTube, which is where most folks see his online `toons.

"I have no ideas," he says. "But I recognize talent."

That's for sure. Seibert, then president of Hanna-Barbera's cartoon studios in the 1990s, is credited with discovering Seth MacFarlane, the creator of the Family Guy, fresh from college, when he hired him to work on Hanna-Barbera cartoons.

For Seibert's "What a Cartoon!" series for the Cartoon Network, Seibert hit ratings gold, signing up the creators who churned out hits like "The Powerpuff Girls," "Dexter's Laboratory" and "Johnny Bravo." Their series debuted as shorts for first for Seibert's series.

He still serves as executive producer of "The Fairly OddParents," a TV series he began producing in 1998 when it debuted on his "Oh Yeah, Cartoons," series. It's been running ever since on Nickelodeon.

Seibert's biggest audiences, however, have come from online, to the tune of some 1.9 billion views for 'toons like the Bee and PuppyCat and Bravest Warriors.

We had Seibert as a guest on our #TalkingTech podcast in June. At the time, he was averaging 300 million monthly viewers to the Channel Frederator network. Now he's already up to 400 million monthly viewers, and predicts he'll top 700 million by year's end, and 1 billion by 2016.

The reason for the massive growth is that unlike before, when animation was targeted just to young kids, either for Saturday morning TV, and kid-based cartoon TV channels, anyone of all ages can view `toons online.

Seibert's Cartoon Hangover, a Frederator section where he shows the best of his `toons, bills itself as the channel for "cartoons that are too weird, wild, and crazy for television."

“Bee and PuppyCat,” about a young woman with a hybrid dog-cat, is written by Natasha Allegri, a woman in her 20s, about a character in her 20s, and thus, obviously not targeted to the traditional animation crowd.

"No matter what your interest online — whether it be anime, or science fiction or comedy cartoons, there is a place for you," Seibert says. "TV has a tough time supporting the sub-genres. Online is all about sub-genre."

Channel Frederator is what's known as a multi-channel network. Cartoons run on YouTube, but his network promotes them, sells ads and distributes the proceeds to some 2,000 of his video makers.

Through Frederator, the channel makers learn about which color to make their thumbnails to find larger YouTube audiences (he recommends yellow) and which keywords to use in the descriptions ("funny" always works, he says.)

"We give them the tools to grow their performance," he says.

Dominic Panganiban, a 24-year-old animator from Toronto, joined the Frederator network in November, and has seen his subscriber base grow ten times since.

He had been working with Full Screen, another multi-channel network that works with YouTube creators to help them monetize their videos and attract larger audiences.

"Frederator was a better fit, because they cater more towards animation channels," Panganiban says. Because Frederator attracts folks who enjoy cartoons, "I have more potential here."

By being part of the Frederator network, Australian animator Sam Green says he's learned about how to better promote his cartoons, and gotten access to a database of free music and sound effects to use in his cartoons.

He too has seen a spike in traffic.

Being with Seibert "helped me move from my mother's garage to affording my own apartment in the big city," he says.

How did the traffic for both creators go up so dramatically?

Seibert promoted the cartoons to his audience. With 2,000 cartoon makers, that's a lot to choose from. He says he'll plug as many of them as "show an interest" to growing their audience. He looks for people who post new work regularly, stay in touch, and ask "what we can do to help them more."

And despite the massive online audience, Seibert isn't making money yet, and doesn't think he will for another three years. 

"Our cartoons are 3-4 minutes long, and the average American watches 6 hours of TV a day," he says. "We have a long way to go to even that out."

Photography by Jefferson Graham, July 2015

[tutuandscoot]

Ice Dance Falls, Fails and Flubs

Part 2

1. The Aboriginal Dance

Cultural appropriation at its finest. Seriously. How was this not banned??? VM’s Carmen gets banned but not this??

Points for not going with the standard ol’ Russian folk dance but this should never have been allowed. Aboriginal dance is an ancient tradition that dates back 60 000 years, it is a religion for the aboriginal people. There were once over 700 different tribes across Australia, each with their own unique storytelling. It is part of Aboriginal Dreamtime culture and is a way of passing down legends and stories through generations.

So, what specifically is wrong with this above, well other than ALL OF IT:

The music: this is not Aboriginal music, idk what it is but it is not utilising traditional instruments, the “singing” is not culturally accurate.

The costumes: this is just so offensive and inappropriate. Yes, aboriginal culture and dances use face paint (oca to be exact) but not like this. They do not where leaves all over themselves, nor do they wear strings. At one point in the season, he was dressed in a darker unitard and black face- AT LEAST that was banned.

The choreography: this is just not the kind of dancing that can be done on ice. Flamenco, yes, waltzs, yes, country dance, sure. Not this. This Russian team makes it out as though Aboriginals are Neanderthals. They are not. Their dances are are pieces of art and communicate 10s of thousands of years of history. The nose rubbing is not aboriginal but more a Māori (new zealand/ pacific islands) custom.

How this wasn’t deducted all the component scores I have no idea, it’s a disgrace this won an Olympic medal

2. Yuri Balkov: Human Turd 💩

Partly responsible for the shit show that was 1998 ice dance. Banned for a year then back on the panel several times again, and was up to his same shit once again here in 2002. Spineless turd with no respect for the sport he is.

3. Nailed the Ending

This is much better with volume (timestamp 1:11:00 on the Beijing FD video).

Point 1. The lil ‘sexy time’ moment 😖

Point 2. Why is it necessary to put a move like this right at the end when you have just done a lift?

Point 3. Who came up with this? Of course he was gonna dropped her! She has no point of contact on him so how is she suppose to get upright again when she does not have Tessa Virtue’s core of steel??

Point 4. Obviously on the first watch you notice the drop first, but just before that you get an elbow to the face- lovely.

Point 5. The perfectly timed crash drop on the music. Art. I hope she was ok, this is a horrible thing to happen, but the musically comedy of it is just gold.

Also this was a very bad fd.. so boring, bad music.. this ending kinda came par for the course.

4. Weapo’s Twizzles

Bobble bobble bobble bobble fall over bobble bobble

5. FP/M Salt Lake City Edition

Splat.

Come on man! How hard is it to stay up right? (ice skating is very hard but these are Olympic level athletes… supposedly).

It truly does not surprise me it was considered taking this “sport” out of the Olympics. Thank god they didn’t and two precious bby angels came among to rescue it.

Oh yeah btw.. this won a medal 🫣😵‍💫🥴

6. 22 year old high level athlete doesn’t take responsibility for her own costume; chaos ensues.

I was always taught from starting dance at 3 years old- your costume is your responsibility. If it doesn’t feel right, you get the safety pin or needle and thread and you fix it, or you at least make sure someone else does it up for you PROPERLY, obviously no one wants this to happen to them esp not on global television but it was solely her responsibility to fix it (things are different in shows/companies where you have costumers , but you individually- your own costume you are responsible for). To continue complaining about this for the next 4 years is a childish joke and even if the hideous green dress had stayed together you still shouldn’t have won 😘

7. ISU after 1998: “We’re gonna fix ice dance judging”. ISU in 2002: “Psych”.

I hate this and love this an equal amount.

The synchronicity of Rod and Tracey: “They’ve been beaten, by the Israelis”. (Pls don’t take that out of context rn). Tracey was just 100% DONE with all of this.

From Margarita and Povilas in their crowns, her throwing hers off and storming out. Jeff Buttle shouting ‘WHAT THE FUCK??’ Iconic.

8. Scooter’s Nose Bleed

Poor bby. Iconic way to finish off your first National Championships win. Then they make you go out and do an encore 🤦‍♀️. I love in the first gif how Shay pops into the shot 😂

Also ironic thinking about a certain team at 2017 worlds getting blood on each other and their reaction… do you think T even blinked twice at getting S’s nose blood on her?? I don’t think so..

[wildcards1407]

Travel Documents 129: Bang Bang Bodhisattva

by Aubrey Wood

Genre:  sci-fi, near-future, cyberpunk, bio-punk

Publication Date: May 9 Pre-Order At This Link

The Dust Cover Copy

Someone wants trans girl hacker-for-hire Kiera Umehara in prison or dead—but for what? Failing to fix their smart toilet?

It’s 2032 and we live in the worst cyberpunk future. Kiera is gigging her ass off to keep the lights on, but her polycule’s social score is so dismal they’re about to lose their crib. That’s why she's out here chasing cheaters with Angel Herrera, a luddite P.I. who thinks this is The Big Sleep. Then the latest job cuts too deep—hired to locate Herrera’s ex-best friend (who’s also Kiera’s pro bono attorney), they find him murdered instead. Their only lead: a stick of Nag Champa incense dropped at the scene.

Next thing Kiera knows, her new crush turns up missing—sans a hand (the real one, not the cybernetic), and there’s the familiar stink of sandalwood across the apartment. Two crimes, two sticks of incense, Kiera framed for both. She told Herrera to lose her number, but now the old man might be her only way out of this bullshit...

A fast-talker with a heart of gold, Bang Bang Bodhisattva is both an odd-couple buddy comedy that never knows when to shut up, and an exploration of finding yourself and your people in an ever-mutable world.

Quick heads up: this book is in pre-release, so this is a spoiler-free review. There’s more depth I’d love to dig into, but I’m hands-off until more folks have read it!

The Scene

Worldbuilding

Hooooo BOY. Buckle up. Here we go.

A high-octane story in the cultural tradition of Snow Crash, Minority Report and Blade Runner, Bang Bang gives folks in the queer community what they’ve been waiting for: a look at the cyberpunk world through their eyes.

In worldbuilding, Wood has taken cues from all your favorite wouldn’t-live-there-if-you-paid-me futures: the tech that argues with you has shades of The Fifth Element, the use of bionics and implants is reminiscent of Repo Man. And the harsh reality of gigging for a living and running on ice? Well that, we’re living right now. Mixed together, they make for a world I really enjoyed reading, but definitely don’t want to visit.

The Crowd

Characterization

Wisecracking, fast-moving Kiera is the POV character we’ve been waiting for. She’s clever, quick-tongued, a little bit of a spaz and an absolute sweetheart. She’s the type of quick-thinking trans girl who’ll yell ‘I got a dick!’ when a skeez wolf-whistles, just to watch him walk into a wall. She’s thirty years old, sick of the grind, and sweet-natured under the armor her world impels her to wear. Her foil is Angel Hererra. No wait, sorry, he changed that name, and that face, to get the world to give him a bit less of a hard time. It sort of worked…sort of. But it cut him off from part of himself too. And that’s never a good thing. On their side are a clever assortment of allies: the android studying law, the classy dame with all the threads to the underworld in her hand, and the indentured servant who really just wanted a better life. Underpinning the story is the sweet support of Kiera’s polycule, waiting at home with snuggles and bingeable TV. Cueing up the ominous music for this piece are Detective Flynn, who gives new meaning to being a dick, and several other impressive baddies. The characters, even those who aren’t fleshed out, are well-written and interesting. The ones who get more time on the page are rounded into wonderfully whole people. Most of them don’t fit society’s definition of ‘people’ for some reason. And with every move, they prove why they should.

Writing Style

Fast paced and sometimes brutal, this work is full of bright one-liners and witty zings. Like it says on the dust cover, it definitely has echoes of The Big Sleep going on, along with Snow Crash and similar zany takes on a dark future. But the author pulls on this setting like a favorite coat and wears it with style, making it fresh. I particularly enjoyed the showcasing of authority using legalism as a weapon against people who don’t fit: it’s a nasty part of the LGBT and minority experience that needs to be addressed. But I enjoyed watching our characters find their way around it even more!

The Moves

Plot

I’ll say this up front: I was not expecting these twists and turns. And I bet you won’t see what’s coming either, not until it’s right on top of you! Or, in most cases, right on top of Kiera. Poor kid.

(cue Kiera shouting ‘I’m thirty, dammit!’ in the background) In the classic neo-noir style, you have your crime, you have your slueth, and you have your unknown criminal. But the twists and turns that take us from ‘oh crap a dead body’ to the last page are nothing like you expect, and everything you want to read.

Overall Rating

A high-octane race through Cyberpunk City, with pit stops for queer love and solidarity.

[ccthewriter]

CC's New Watch Ranking - June 2023

Every month on Letterboxd, I make a list of the 10 best films I’ve seen for the first time. It’s a fun way to compare movies separated in time, genre, and country of origin, and helps me keep track of what I’m watching! This is a breakdown of those films.

June! An exhausting month. We wrapped on the movie after a number of 12+ hour days. That, on top of two new jobs that picked up this month, turned June into a stressed mess for me. I spent a lot of time in bed and in the garden, trying to quiet an overstrained brain. For the first time in three years, I have seen only the 10 films on this list this month! That’s why Zaslav felt safe firing all the TCM folks, he knew I was away. But this gives me a chance to discuss some movies I wasn’t crazy about and explore why. There’s something to be learned from every film, even those that don’t please. (I am going to yadda-yadda through some entries, though.)

Click below to read the breakdown! Click HERE to view the list on Letterboxd!

10. Night Moves 

1975- Arthur Penn

Was kind of disappointed that this didn’t move for me as it does for others! It reminded me too much of this schlocky film I watched earlier this year Stick. Stick had Burt Reynolds going to Miami to be a double-agent chauffeur for the mob. Or something. Night Moves had the exact same thing happen? Or something? Maybe that’s on me for not paying better attention. 

I promised myself I would explore why this didn’t capture me. The best I got is that it’s a slow moving mystery centered on a rather boring figure. Next!

9. Bringing Up Baby 

1938 - Howard Hawks

See, I heard about this movie a long time ago. Never in my life did I think the ‘Baby’ in the title was a leopard! This is a fun slapstick comedy about a man who fumbles his hot paleontologist wife for a pathologically lying Katherine Hepburn. I get it, who wouldn’t do the same in that situation, but I was surprised there wasn’t more back and forth between Hepburn and Grant’s fiance. Not quite as charming as another slapstick comedy on this list, but still immensely satisfying. 

Cary Grant in a fluffy nightie? 👀 Reeks of gender.

8. Bend of the River 

1952 - Anthony Mann

The river! It bends! I find myself watching a lot of pre-1955 movies while I’m doing other tasks. Cowboy flicks and noirs make great background noise. Their rhythms and plots can be so predictable that you can fall right back in if you lose attention for a few minutes. This one gripped me, though. My cinematic nemesis James Stewart plays a black hatted cowboy trying to reinvent himself, escorting a group of settlers to their new home in Oregon. The supplies they ordered don’t arrive in time, so before winter sets in he rides to find what happened to them, visiting the den of villainy and sin known as… Portland. It’s very funny to see the city depicted as a town full of drunken gold miners and thieves, when in a century it will be home to queer witches and their burlesques. (Hi Caity <3) Fun plot, a few interesting reversals, and more colonial assumptions than I can typically stand. It’s no McCabe and Mrs. Miller, but if you’re in the mood for a PNW Western, look no further. 

7. Step Brothers 

2008 -  Adam McKay

A movie so culturally dominant that I knew a huge amount of lines without ever having to see it. It was fun! Will Ferrell and John C. Riley have perfect comedic chemistry, and embody this strange energy of 15 year olds trapped in 40 year old bodies perfectly. The entire film works off of their performance. Just like last month’s Face/Off, two actors giving singular, unique performances is all you need to make a memorable picture. 

6. Battling Butler 

1926 - Buster Keaton

It’s Buster Keaton! It was fine. I don’t have any more interesting thoughts on him in this movie than I would have in the next one.

5. The Cameraman

 1928 - Buster Keaton, Edward Sedgwick

Extremely fun. Buster doing a bit of metacommentary on how artists are valued, and the systems they have to engage with in order to find work. Extra satisfying to view amidst the writer’s strike. These studio heads would have nothing without the footage that the people on the ground capture. The Tong War battle at the end is particularly engaging. It’s the sort of Looney Tunes/Roger Rabbit comic energy that I adore, able to float through a conflict without any worry or care. Satisfying, destiny-bound ending. 

4. Once Upon a Time in America 

1984 - Sergio Leone

Now we get to the good stuff. Sergio Leone is synonymous with the Wild West - why is it so surprising that he would take on another classic tale of Americana? A gangster drama, an immigrant story, a distinctly East Coast experience of the twentieth century and the superpower that defined it. Where his cowboy movies focus on the mythic qualities of its protagonists - framed among giant landscapes, attention drawn to their weapons and horses - the protagonists of this film are framed within a series of relationships. It is their association with the people around them, the space between their bodies, that Leone captures so well. It is a promise of genius from a filmmaker whose career ended too early. This is a freewheeling biopic of a Lower East Side urchin who rises up towards the top, intersecting with high levels of power and upheavals in his closest bonds. Framed by an opium dream, not afraid to break free from logic, this is a masterful exploration of a cinematic space from one of our best directors.  

3. Asteroid City

 2023 - Wes Anderson

I feel so lucky to be alive at a time when I can see Wes Anderson movies in theaters. The sheer thrill of this opening sequence…. A black and white TV format exploding into a wide frame, desert-chic phantasmagoria, a MINIATURE TRAIN MODEL title sequence… god. Irreplaceable cinematic moments. It needs a gigantic screen to be really understood. 

I think a lot of the theatre-going experience, of the crowd itself, as I remember this film. It was a great sample audience. A group of teen boys who must have just started their summer break. Several pairs of old women enjoying long-scheduled friend dates. A nuclear family. Me, alone, having made use of the Value Tuesday discounts. ($1 off hot dogs!) The whole crowd laughed throughout the thing - has Anderson ever been this funny? It made me feel a lot of hope, that an audience would take such pleasure in little background beats and quiet humor. Much of movie rhetoric paints The Audience writ-large as a bunch of mindless Marvel fans who need jokes telegraphed from a mile away. How hard the subtle humor hit really made me happy. 

The story itself is something I’m going to have to meditate on. Anderson is working some meta-commentary that can be hard to grasp with only one viewing. I get the sense he’s looking at his own work and his style of directing. He’s famous for his ensembles - it’s a movie about a cast making a play. He’s famous for his invented worlds - we walk backstage and meet a writer-director who literally lives in a set after the performances are done. He’s a director beset by nostalgia for times he never lived - Jeffrey Wright says to a bunch of young geniuses, “Should have picked a better time to be born.” This is why I feel such a thrill, such satisfaction, in being alive while his movies are airing. I get to witness the years, hopefully decades, of discussion that this movie inspires. I think this is already ripe for a “Underappreciated in its time despite being his masterpiece” sort of thing.

2. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse 

2023 - Joaquim Dos Santos, Justin K. Thompson, Kemp Powers

God, what a lovely film to watch. My gushing excitement for this is cut by the recent revelations about its production. I spit on the names of Lord and the names of Miller, I wish them to suffer as they have made others suffer. I think of how beautiful this film is - how every frame is a gorgeous vortex, how you could hit pause at any moment and drink in one billion details that all add up to an incredible whole. I think of the well-crafted story, the nail-biting cliff hanger, the desire I had walking out of the theatre for simply MORE. And I think of how much better this could be if the artists making it were paid more fairly and given more breaks. Look at how beautiful this movie is - IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH MORE BEAUTIFUL IF THE WORKPLACE WAS LESS TOXIC. I reject any narrative about this film that says that, somehow, all the blood sweat and tears made it what it is. No. Absolutely not. This move is what it is because of hundreds of people toiling *despite* the invented hardships. It is so symptomatic of what is wrong in Hollywood, why so many people are striking now. They are being hampered from making their work excel because of these greedy people at the top who project their insecurity  and petty rage all the way down. 

Anyway. I love Miles. I love Gwen. I love all my Spiderfriends. Hope to see them again some day under less toxic circumstances. 

1. What’s Up, Doc? 

1972 - Peter Bogdanovich

I’ve been studying the screwball comedy this year. It’s an oft-used term without a great definition. It’s got romance and laugh, it has some odd personalities… but what else? Does it need an aggressive woman? A reluctant man? Do they need to be thrust together by fate? Do you *have* to have an outstanding ensemble, or does that just happen by coincidence? As I try to pick apart these elements I watch this on a whim one day and see that Peter Bogdanovich has already done all that research and found his answer. Screwball comedy? It looks like this. It’s What’s Up, Doc? 

From the old-Hollywood opening credits that’s a hand turning a book, to the delightful absurdity that is its central premise - what if a spy, a jewel thief, and some dude all had the same luggage? - everything about this is finely tuned to make you laugh. Barbara Streisand is more or less literally playing Bugs Bunny. How amazing is that? There are so many things that will make you well up laughter that I hesitate to try and explain them more. Just watch this incredibly funny, charming movie. I have a private litmus test for how good a movie is. Often I’ll watch stuff with my wife sitting next to me as she plays video games. If a movie drags her attention away from the game and keeps her locked in the whole time, that is a great film. It was that way with this. Highly recommended. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading! If you liked any of these thoughts feel free to follow me on Letterboxd, where I post reviews and keep meticulous track of every movie I watch. Look forward to more posts like these next month! 

[tsuki-sennin]

Deliciousmile~! ...hey wait a sec, that doesn't seem right. Well, y'know, what's a festival without food, eh? And, well, this is a very special watch for us today, y'know why? Why, because today is Inoue-sensei's birthday, of course~!

I don't exactly know how best to celebrate, but I do want to congratulate him for keeping Donbrothers as a non-stop banger of a season. Perhaps not the best we've ever had, but certainly not one I'd ever forget.

Now, enough delay! As they say in that other town with a Toei superhero team unified by a common theme, food brings smiles~! And it's the dog cooking, you know this'll be great~!

-Sonoshi will be back.

-Fancy eatin'...

-Flavoooooor!

-...are you some kinda circuit board?

-Oh dear god, she vores.

-Inoue what the fuck

-Have you been spending too much time on the internet again?

-Yeah, the Juto forest is... absolutely horrific, I don't blame Tsubasa for wanting out.

-"...can I go now? I wanna wash all this forest stink off of me."

-Freedoooooooom.

-Nice weather :)

-Dog go nyoom!

-There he is.

-Inuzuka-san!

-Oh hi Kijino.

-Are... you alright?

-"Okay I know I sold you out, but like... wanna go eat at a fancy restaurant with my wife?"

-"What the fuck, no."

-Tsubasa, this man who snitched on you is married to a doll and your first instinct is to hug him?

-Oh hey Rumi-chan! Jirou-kun!

-Byeeeeeee

-"My cringefail boyfriend is too pure to be alive."

-Dinner!

-Gotta say, big missed opportunity to have a ton of Hoka-Hoka Hearts everywhere.

-"Y-you can have her man, Jesus Christ calm down."

-Oh hey, the cat came back.

-I gotta ask Tiger Jirou, are you perhaps a Juuto in some way?

-Keep things professional with your editors, folks.

-Oh yeah, Sononi did shoot you down lmao

-Sorry Shinichi, she's got a point there

-Jesus Christ, we couldn't have ONE peaceful dinner, could we!

-Shaddap!

-That chef is about to kill a man.

-Ohhhh...

-Tsubasa, jkh,hlbl

-Shef Off

-"Wow! This reminds me of my imaginary food that I eat because money burns my skin off!"

-Hello food critic lady!

-Iida-sensei, okay!

-A cooking contest!

-Damn, a hundred million yen isn't even enough for this restaurant, huh?

-No wonder Tsubasa got all uppity.

-What is he cookin'?

-Tsubasa what the fuck why is the fugitive gene a thing

-Deliciousmile~!

-Pipipi~!

-"Good, but not award winning" is the highest praise I've ever heard Tarou give any food.

-Ingredient

-Mop those floors, Tsuyoshi!

-Retrieve Egg

-The remaining

-SONOI WHAT

-"Give me those fucking eggs. Sonoshi ate all my spare like the fucking gremlin they are, and I can't send someone to the store. Sonoza scares the cashier too much, and if you ask a condor-themed woman for eggs, she gives you a very strange look."

-I love this.

-Yeah good job fellas!

-A field of flowers~!

-Damn Haruka, you really drew that background in five seconds, huh?

-Oh god here she comes

-SHE ATE MY DOG

-What the fuck, Vore Dimension?

-Oh?

-OH FUCK

-Tsubasa, you don't just eat fruit you find in a random forest dimension!

-"Murasame! Let's cut them into sashimi!"

-Fruit~!

-Back off, everybody!

-Seiya Seiya!

-Nooooo, Murasame! Pick him up, Sonoza!

-Oh, good, we're not eating Helheim fruit. Good.

-OVERFLOWING?

-OH SHIT

-Recolor!

-"YOU ASSHOLES, I HAVE AN OMELET ON THE STOVE, IT'S GONNA BURN THE KITCHEN DOOOOOOOOOOWN-!"

-Wow, Tarou really said "A gold bird does the job just fine, unlike you Kijino."

-Poor Murasame.

-"Good job buddy."

-Fooooood~!

-Blue pasta!

-Iida-sensei's imagination is a good bit more professional, huh?

-Awwwww, Sonoi... :)

-Oh?

-Have a snacc, Tarou-san

-jklhkilh;k'

-Holy shit, Tarou

-Holy shit, Rumi's cooking must cure every disease ever if it's that good!

-M

-Miho-san.

-CRANE LADY????

-WHAAAAAAT

-WHY YOU BACK

-DONKILLER JKHLHJ'

-My god.

-Does this "button" just have an "Evil" setting you can press with all the sensitivity of a space bar?

-Oh well, this episode is either going to be peak comedy or absolutely horrifying. Or both. No in-betweens allowed here.

-Alright, let's pack it up folks, episode's done! We're done talkin' for today! Happy birthday again, Inoue-sensei!

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 20th June

Well, after three rather mid versions of the exact same song, it's hard to imagine that this week won't be a considerable improvement, especially with a Lonnie Donegan double A-side on the table. So without further ado, let's go!

Gamblin' Man - Lonnie Donegan (double A-side, peaked at Number 1)

As ever with Lonnie, this is a very American-sounding tune. Heck, it starts with a description of how I've gambled down in Washington / And I've gambled up in Maine / I'm going down into Georgia / To knock down my last game. With all this Americana, its hardly surprising to learn that this is a Woody Guthrie original, a product of the folk revival going on in the US. His version was called Roving Man, and was also about a man who travelled around gambling.

Actually, that's basically all there is to this song. Sure, there are verses where Lonnnie sings about how he fell in love with a girl back in Washington, despite her parents' objections, and she apparently loved him back enough to boldly proclaim that I would not marry a farmer / Who's always in the rain / I'd rather marry a gambling man / With a gold watch and chain. Similarly, she wouldn't marry a railroad man, since I never knew a railroad man / Who wouldn't tell his wife a lie. Fair enough, I guess, though I'm not sure gambling's much better.

Ah well, it's not like we're really here for a message. No, most of the song here is just a single lyric about how He's a gambling man, man, man / He's a gambling man. The sheer repetition almost turns the lyric into a piece of nonsense, something that Lonnie uses more for its sound than for its meaning, his voice blending with the instruments, which are raucous and wild as ever.

Honestly, Lonnie is just on good, wild form here. I thought at first that this sounded a bit rougher round the edges than some of his other tracks, and it turns out that it was a live recording, which I can kinda hear, especially when the solo begins, with a shouted How about Jimmy?! It's a guitar solo, with these frantic, bashy drums that you could copy and paste straight into an early punk song without much change, and it's honestly pretty great.

I also like the way that the song just dissolves into a drum roll and Lonnie going man, man, man, man, maaaaaaaaan at the end. Peak chaos, just some real feral gremlin energy right there.

Puttin' on the Style - Lonnie Donegan (double A-side, 1)

Okay, this side of the double A-side was clearly playing it a bit safer. It's still a folk song, this time from the Catskills, and recorded with some success apparently by one Vernon Dalhart in 1925, but its energy is just different to Gamblin' Man. It's got the same sturummy guitar and wailing vocals, and its also a live recording, but it's calmer, with a note of comedy or social commentary to it that Gamblin' Man lacked.

We start with a girl, who's sweet sixteen, goes to church / Just to see the boys. She giggles and chats, and seems very fashionable, But everbody knows she's only putting on the style. And that's the whole conceit of the song, from then on. Don't young people do ridiculous things for fashion, eh? That's literally it: Putting on the agony, putting on the style / That's what all the young folks are doing all the while.

It's fine. Funny, even, and a lovely snapshot of an early 20th century American church-y community, where the girls go to church to see the boys and where the young men drive round in hot rods and driving gloves. And the best moment is probably when our fire and brimstone preacher roars with all his might / Sings glory, hallelujah, / Puts the folks all in a fright. Suddenly something frightful appears: Now you might think it's Satan / That's a comin' down the aisle / But it's only our poor preacher boys / That's puttin' on the style. Awww, bless! It's a little, deft, gently satirical picture of a whole social scene, a little bit Jane Austen in its sensibilities, and I do like it a lot.

Still, there's something a bit mean-spirited about it, a bit "get off my lawn". I kind of assumed that Lonnie must have been older, at this point, but no, he was only 26! He should also have been putting on the style, not complaining like some old fogey about it - and honestly, at this point, complaining about whatever teenage girls have going on just feels a bit tired. It was tired already in the 1950s, and to modern ears, it's a bit tiresome. Let her dress up and go to church and giggle with her friends - it's literally none of your business, Lonnie!

I can see the appeal of the song, though. It's Lonnie in a different kind of mode, a sort of comedy mode that's peeked through in other songs, and that I know will become his default in the future. It's in the comedy lyrics, but also in the broad Cockney sort of accent he puts on when he sings about the young man's yellow gloves 'e's borrowed from 'is daaaad. It's incongruously British-sounding, especially in a song that's otherwise so American, and it hints at a completely different, more British folk tradition, that of the music hall, with all the daftness and mugging that that entails. I wouldn't quite call it a novelty song, but it's on the borderline, for better or for worse.

Interestingly, I did briefly think that the guitar work here did actually sound quite Beatles-y, and apparently a low-quality 1957 verison of this by John Lennon's Quarrymen group is one of the first tangentially Beatles-related recordings we still have. So that is kind of interesting - and actually, I can see touches of the same music hall style in a lot of Beatles numbers, so there's definitely a link there. Huh.

Little Darlin' - The Diamonds (3)

Okay, we're starting with castanets and cowbell, and then this fabulous piano glissando. A strong, if cheesy, start. And it sets the tone excellently for the rest of the song, which is great, but very cheesy.

It's a R&B number, a cover of a track by a band called the Gladiolas, and it's very doo-wop, from the a-ya-ya-ya-ya opening, to the stuttering delivery of lines like O-oh where a-are you-ou? and the supremely silly ah-uha-uha-uha-uha line. The main vocalist sounds like he's having the time of his life, and the backing vocalists are also having a field day.

The story, if there is one, is one of the singer making a mistake that he regrets, sainging about how My lover, I was wrong-uh / To-ooh-ooh try to love two / Knowing well-uh / That my lov-uh / Was just for you. So yeah. He cheated, and now he's regretting it, and realises that he shouldn't have. It's simple and heartfelt, though the funny delivery and hiccupy "uh" noises go a long way to stop you taking it too seriously. I don't get the feeling that the Diamonds were too cut up about this all, you know?

We also get a spoken word section, which I normally don't like. I find them cheesy, and kind of annoying. Still, here, it kind of works for me, not least because it's mercifully short, and done in this sort of deep, sleepy-sounding voice that it's hard to take at face value. There's something a bit insincere in the Please, hold my hand, in particular, but in a way that I somehow just find really funny?

I think it also helps that this song doesn't overstay its welcome. It arrives, goofs around for a bit, has some cool, tight harmonines over a tight, Latin sort of rhythm, and then calls it a day. Which I can respect, for sure.

Hmm. I liked all three songs this week. I think on a gut level I enjoyed Gamblin' Man more than Puttin' on the Style, but I found Puttin' on the Style more interesting, as a hint at the direction that Lonnie's going in and a possible early link to 1960s acts like the Beatles. And then Little Darlin', which is such a goofy little song that you can't help but want to sing along, just a bit. It's lightweight summer fun - just what the doctor ordered!

Favourite song of the bunch: Little Darlin'

[ilopisara]

17.01. 19:11 | Ilo Pisara vs BASGAREVOHKA 2 - 5

Well, well, well... if it isn't the Ilo Pisara squad playing like they've got spatulas for sticks out there! A 2-5 loss? Seriously? Let's break this down before my grandmother challenges you lot to a shootout – and trust me, she'd win. First off, "VETOJA HYVÄT HERRAT!" What is this, amateur hour at the ice rink? Seventeen shots on goal is what we call a pre-game warm-up. You're supposed to do that in the first period alone! And let’s talk about Teppo Winnipeg – buddy has more turnovers than a bakery with those stats. Sure he assisted once but with only one blocked shot and four attempts hitting net out of six?! C'mon man! Sami Noddy - oh boy - ten giveaways and two minutes in sin bin for what exactly? Practicing your shadow puppetry skills? And Jani Saari – our shining beacon of hope amidst this comedy show. Two goals aren’t bad; actually pretty impressive considering he was probably dodging his own teammates' blunders left and right. We’ve had some good times recently: wins against Mulano Stylos (6-5), Liepo twice over (7-1 & 6-3) even after losing to them earlier (5-6). But then again Devil Eyes gave us a reality check didn't they (1-2)? Consistency folks! It's not just for breakfast cereals! So here’s my advice: next game let's pretend the puck is made of solid gold because clearly silver ain't motivating enough. Skate hard or skate home boys because right now you’re skating like you’ve got anchors tied to your souls. Now go get 'em tiger—err—I mean Penguins...or whatever flightless bird represents our current state best!

[my-weird-news]

Dulles Airport Wrapped in Solar Panels! 37K Homes Powered 🛩️🔆

Solar Shenanigans: A Sunny Side Up Airport Adventure! Travelers, gather 'round, because we've got a story that's shining brighter than a supernova disco ball at Dulles International Airport! Prepare yourselves for an epic tale of solar panels, energy wars, and a visual spectacle that's out of this world! Picture this: you're soaring through the sky, ready to touch down at Dulles International Airport, the crème de la crème of aviation gateways near the nation's capital. And what do your curious eyes behold? Not a runway paved with gold, but a dazzling array of 200,000 solar panels sprawled out like a pixelated technicolor quilt, right next to the runways. That's right, folks, we're talking about the largest renewable energy spectacle you've ever seen at an American airport! If aliens were landing, they'd probably be thinking, "Are these the new-age welcome mats?" 🛫🌞🌍🛬 Now, hold onto your seatbelts because this is where the plot thickens. Dominion Energy and the Metropolitan Washington Airports Authority literally took a shovel and broke the ground for this 835-acre extravaganza! It's like they're building the Disneyland of solar energy, complete with roller coasters powered by sunlight. 🎢 But wait, there's more! This solar wonderland is just a teeny-tiny part of Dominion's grand plan. They've got this ambitious goal of adding a whopping 16,000 megawatts of solar capacity. That's enough power to run four million homes! Imagine telling your toaster, "Hey, buddy, you're running on sunshine today!" 🌞🏠 #SmallProblemBigSun Ah, but here's the comedy twist: rural counties in Virginia are shaking their pitchforks at the thought of all these solar shenanigans. They're worried about their farmland turning into a solar disco, their viewsheds being photobombed by solar panels, and the sweet sound of construction noise ruining their country tranquility. It's like they're auditioning for a sitcom called "Solar Wars: The Battle of the Counties." Bev McKay, a Clarke County supervisor, threw down the gauntlet, saying it's just not fair that rural areas are shouldering the solar farm burden. She's got a point—why should the countryside be the only one giving up their fields for this solar party? Urban areas need to step up and start hosting some solar soirées too! 🌾🌄 #The Shocking Costs of Sunshine But here's where things get truly uproarious. Dominion and the State Corporation Commission have predicted a whopping 72% hike in electricity costs between now and 2035. It's like the sun is sending an invoice for all that free energy it's providing! And the governor, Glenn Youngkin, is probably thinking, "Did we sign up for a subscription to daylight savings?" U.S. Senator Mark Warner swoops in like a superhero at the groundbreaking, praising local leaders for embracing the Dulles project. But hold the phone—his office is flooded with complaints about solar farms! It's like he's running a solar complaint hotline. "Press 1 if your sunrise is too bright, press 2 if you're missing your construction serenades..." Sen. Warner's got a point, though. Solar projects are just a piece of the puzzle when it comes to powering the world in a sparkling clean way. Virginia and a bunch of other places have these deadlines for clean and renewable energy production. But it's not all about solar panels—nuclear energy gets an invite to the party too! 🏭⚡☢️ #Sunspots and Jumbo Jets Fasten your seatbelts because Dulles is about to become a solar runway extravaganza! They're adding a whopping 100 megawatts of solar power and another 50 megawatts of battery storage. Translation: enough energy to power a small village of about 37,000 homes. We're talking sun-powered microwaves and solar-charged phone chargers! ☀️🏢🔋 And guess what? This sunshine circus is expected to create 300 jobs! That's right, folks, we're employing people to harness the power of the sun. Forget about those tanning booths, we've got real sun-chasing gigs now. Solar panel installers: the new solar celebrities! 😎💼 #Sunrise, Sunset, and Solar Smiles Dominion Energy is on a roll, claiming they've already added a whopping 2,000 megawatts of solar power to their repertoire. And they've got a juicy 7,000 more megawatts in the works, including the Dulles spectacle. They're like the Oprah of solar energy, "You get a megawatt, and you get a megawatt, everybody gets a megawatt!" Edward Baine, the president of Dominion Energy Virginia, is the real mastermind behind these solar extravaganzas. He's out there shaking hands with local governments, making sure the solar projects are as easy on the eyes as possible. It's like he's planning the biggest, brightest, and buffer-est party ever. Who needs streamers when you've got vegetative buffers, right? For the Dulles spectacle, it's all about the showstopper effect. They're not hiding these panels behind the scenes; they're putting them on center stage for all the world to see. And honestly, if you're going to land in an international hub, why not be greeted by a field of glistening solar panels? It's like arriving at the Oscars of the energy world! 🌆🏆🎬 So there you have it, folks! A tale of solar showdowns, energy dreams, and a runway that's as sunny as a tropical vacation. Next time you're in Dulles, don't forget to wave hello to those photogenic solar panels. And as always, keep those shades handy because the future is looking bright! This story contains 0% nuclear energy, 100% sunshine, and an infinite amount of laughs. 😂🌞🔆🎉# Solar Shenanigans: A Sunny Side Up Airport Adventure! Travelers, gather 'round, because we've got a story that's shining brighter than a supernova disco ball at Dulles International Airport! Prepare yourselves for an epic tale of solar panels, energy wars, and a visual spectacle that's out of this world! Picture this: you're soaring through the sky, ready to touch down at Dulles International Airport, the crème de la crème of aviation gateways near the nation's capital. And what do your curious eyes behold? Not a runway paved with gold, but a dazzling array of 200,000 solar panels sprawled out like a pixelated technicolor quilt, right next to the runways. That's right, folks, we're talking about the largest renewable energy spectacle you've ever seen at an American airport! If aliens were landing, they'd probably be thinking, "Are these the new-age welcome mats?" 🛫🌞🌍🛬 Now, hold onto your seatbelts because this is where the plot thickens. Dominion Energy and the Metropolitan Washington Airports Authority literally took a shovel and broke the ground for this 835-acre extravaganza! It's like they're building the Disneyland of solar energy, complete with roller coasters powered by sunlight. 🎢 But wait, there's more! This solar wonderland is just a teeny-tiny part of Dominion's grand plan. They've got this ambitious goal of adding a whopping 16,000 megawatts of solar capacity. That's enough power to run four million homes! Imagine telling your toaster, "Hey, buddy, you're running on sunshine today!" 🌞🏠 #SmallProblemBigSun Ah, but here's the comedy twist: rural counties in Virginia are shaking their pitchforks at the thought of all these solar shenanigans. They're worried about their farmland turning into a solar disco, their viewsheds being photobombed by solar panels, and the sweet sound of construction noise ruining their country tranquility. It's like they're auditioning for a sitcom called "Solar Wars: The Battle of the Counties." Bev McKay, a Clarke County supervisor, threw down the gauntlet, saying it's just not fair that rural areas are shouldering the solar farm burden. She's got a point—why should the countryside be the only one giving up their fields for this solar party? Urban areas need to step up and start hosting some solar soirées too! 🌾🌄 #The Shocking Costs of Sunshine But here's where things get truly uproarious. Dominion and the State Corporation Commission have predicted a whopping 72% hike in electricity costs between now and 2035. It's like the sun is sending an invoice for all that free energy it's providing! And the governor, Glenn Youngkin, is probably thinking, "Did we sign up for a subscription to daylight savings?" U.S. Senator Mark Warner swoops in like a superhero at the groundbreaking, praising local leaders for embracing the Dulles project. But hold the phone—his office is flooded with complaints about solar farms! It's like he's running a solar complaint hotline. "Press 1 if your sunrise is too bright, press 2 if you're missing your construction serenades..." Sen. Warner's got a point, though. Solar projects are just a piece of the puzzle when it comes to powering the world in a sparkling clean way. Virginia and a bunch of other places have these deadlines for clean and renewable energy production. But it's not all about solar panels—nuclear energy gets an invite to the party too! 🏭⚡☢️ #Sunspots and Jumbo Jets Fasten your seatbelts because Dulles is about to become a solar runway extravaganza! They're adding a whopping 100 megawatts of solar power and another 50 megawatts of battery storage. Translation: enough energy to power a small village of about 37,000 homes. We're talking sun-powered microwaves and solar-charged phone chargers! ☀️🏢🔋 And guess what? This sunshine circus is expected to create 300 jobs! That's right, folks, we're employing people to harness the power of the sun. Forget about those tanning booths, we've got real sun-chasing gigs now. Solar panel installers: the new solar celebrities! 😎💼 #Sunrise, Sunset, and Solar Smiles Dominion Energy is on a roll, claiming they've already added a whopping 2,000 megawatts of solar power to their repertoire. And they've got a juicy 7,000 more megawatts in the works, including the Dulles spectacle. They're like the Oprah of solar energy, "You get a megawatt, and you get a megawatt, everybody gets a megawatt!" Edward Baine, the president of Dominion Energy Virginia, is the real mastermind behind these solar extravaganzas. He's out there shaking hands with local governments, making sure the solar projects are as easy on the eyes as possible. It's like he's planning the biggest, brightest, and buffer-est party ever. Who needs streamers when you've got vegetative buffers, right? For the Dulles spectacle, it's all about the showstopper effect. They're not hiding these panels behind the scenes; they're putting them on center stage for all the world to see. And honestly, if you're going to land in an international hub, why not be greeted by a field of glistening solar panels? It's like arriving at the Oscars of the energy world! 🌆🏆🎬 So there you have it, folks! A tale of solar showdowns, energy dreams, and a runway that's as sunny as a tropical vacation. Next time you're in Dulles, don't forget to wave hello to those photogenic solar panels. And as always, keep those shades handy because the future is looking bright! This story contains 0% nuclear energy, 100% sunshine, and an infinite amount of laughs. 😂🌞🔆🎉 Read the full article

[a-parody-0f-tnt-news]

Bizarre Discovery Unveils a Secret Jungle Junkyard of Epic Proportions

In a slapstick-worthy scene straight out of an action-comedy film, police officers emerged from the depths of a dirt track in North Trace, battling their way through thick branches and wild vines. And what did they find? Hold on to your seats, folks, because they stumbled upon vehicle parts of all shapes and sizes, from measly headlights to complete car shells!

The recovery operation kicked off on Wednesday afternoon, led by the daring Inspector Roland Ramlogan and his Southern Division crew. They toiled tirelessly until midnight, extracting just a fraction of the scattered parts lurking within the bushes. Talk about a wild treasure hunt!

Not willing to leave their newfound comedy gold unfinished, Senior Superintendent Richard Smith, Sergeant Bacchus, and the CID officers gallantly returned the following morning to complete the outrageous rescue mission.

Picture this: harnesses swinging from tree branches, engines hidden under a pile of leaves, and doors peeking out from the midst of shrubbery. Smith, surrounded by the chaos, humorously briefed reporters at the scene, "We've found a wild assortment of vehicle parts—wiring systems, engines, doors, trunk lids, and even the whole interior of cars! It's like a car enthusiast's dream come true, or a mechanic's worst nightmare."

And the variety of vehicles they uncovered was truly a sight to behold. The New Grant hideout seemed to be the secret dumping ground for Nissan Tiidas, Toyota Aquas, Honda Citys, Nissan Fielder wagons, and Hyundai H100 pick-ups. Who would have thought that a random dirt road could turn into an automobile graveyard?

With a touch of melodrama, Smith gestured towards the six halves of vehicles standing proudly behind him, remarking, "These treasures behind me are the result of our relentless work. We've already nabbed six suspects in connection with these vehicles. In the past few weeks alone, we've recovered around 20 different types of vehicles, with eight of them right here."

The senior superintendent couldn't help but express his heartfelt sympathy for the victims of these car thefts. "A vehicle is a person's second most important investment, you know? Seeing their precious investments reduced to mere scrap metal is absolutely heart-wrenching," he exclaimed dramatically.

To the unscrupulous buyers lurking in the black market, Smith had a stern and comedic message, "Hey, you heartless buyers! Take a moment to reflect on the havoc you're wreaking with people's hard-earned money. You're the driving force behind this twisted trade. Stealing vehicles is no laughing matter, but I guess some folks only learn the hard way—when it happens to them or someone they know!"

In a final punchline, Smith urged everyone to ponder the vast scale of this operation. "Think about all the others who passed through this jungle junkyard before we stumbled upon it. And guess what? There are probably more secret spots like this waiting to be discovered. Don't worry, though, because we're on the move! We've got insider information on these car thieves, and we're hot on their trail."

As the curtain falls on this outrageous spectacle, the stolen vehicle parts are finding temporary refuge at police stations in Princes Town, San Fernando, and Ste Madeleine. Inspector Lazarus and his team from the Stolen Vehicles Unit in Port of Spain even joined in on the hilarity, providing technical support during this whimsical adventure.

So, fellow citizens, fear not! Once the parts are properly cataloged, victims of vehicle theft will have a chance to reunite with their lost treasures. And who knows what other comedic escapades await our brave law enforcement officers as they continue their quest to bring justice to the world of

car thefts? Stay tuned for the next episode of "The Absurd Chronicles of Southern Police Division"!

[akwardlyuncool]

Class Favorites: Movie Rank!

This is a ranking of all the movies I watched for the first time in 2022. I didn’t review every new movie, but I will link to any reviews that I can. That being said, be sure and click the links to also see the trigger/content warnings. (If they are what you need.)

Also it’s not in reverse order because I can never be bothered.

1) Spider Man No Way Home (2022)

It was just good and gave what it needed to give. The “surprise” was very well done and definitely worth the watch. If you haven’t seen but would I recommend. Sorry no review, but I enjoyed myself and I’m pretty sure there were tears at some point in the watching of this film.

2) Lone Star State Of Mind (2002)

We can argue that there were better made movies on this list, but I promise you none of them made me laugh as hard and gave the comedic gold that this one did. Laughter is a strong sway and in a world that’s falling apart, I’ll take the joy of genuine laughter. Joshua Jackson and DJ Qualls don’t hurt either. It’s what you want out of a 2002 comedy. 

3) Unpregnant (2020)

I think the movie did what it set out to do very well and that’s why it’s up here so high. Would it be one to get a quicker rewatch? No, but it was still a pretty decent movie over all and in the lineup it stood out as a good movie, if you’re into the the YA book to movie adaptations.

4) The Ultimate Playlist Of Noise (2021)

I think I’m just so in love with music and playlists and having a soundtrack to everything, that there was no way this movie wasn’t going to get a high ranking on this list. It was a little heavy, but still gave off more light than anything. Yes there were the typical he has to save her or they have to save each other, but at the end of the day a decent little movie. Now I’ll be honest and say that my brain didn’t automatically remember this one, but after seeing it in the line up it does spark some good memories.

5) Moonshot (2022)

This movie was good for what it was and because it wasn’t trying to be something it clearly wasn’t, I enjoyed it. it fell right among it’s peers and even out preformed some of them. It was cute, lighthearted and took a couple digs at billionaires and they’re gross infatuation with space, so it metaled in my book.

6) The Making of Lords Of Dogtown

This was like a 30-45 minutes documentary on how they made the Hollywood movie version of Lords of Dogtown. I really enjoyed the original documentary on those kids story and thought the movie was also done really well and this addition to that collection of things was well received, at least by the small subset of folks who claimed to have watched it on Letterboxed. If you watched the movie and just want more, but have already seen the original documentary, then this is a solid recommend. And even if you haven’t seen the movie, but just love skate culture, then I recommend it to you as well. I will say that it is a bonus feature on the DVD copy, however since I only got the VHS tape, I went and found a copy of it on YouTube.

Note: I didn’t rank this one higher because of it being a DVD bonus feature, but if it was a full length documentary it probably would have garnered one of the top 3 spots.

7) Cherry (2021)

We all know that sometimes the drama wins and I think that’s why I went and ranked this the way that I did. There were parts that were really intense and then there were parts that weren’t as great, but overall I thought it was worth checking out and something that I wouldn’t steer people away from, that is unless subjects of war, addiction and PTSD struggles are a trigger for you, then I’d go check something else out.

8) Elvis and Annabelle (2007)

This was a very late watch in the year for me, but it still found a way to make the top 10 cut. I liked this one more than I thought I would and I think most people who are also into dark, but still kinda light romances, would too. It pulls at heart strings and keeps you engaged, definitely one I can see having a small following behind it.

9) Step Up Revolution (2012)

I took a moment in 2012 to rewatch the Step Up series and also catch the ones that I hadn’t seen before. I had previously seen 1 and 2 and maybe the beginning of part 3, so this one was new for me. If my memory is holding up, Revolution was the most fun I had with the series and that’s not counting the first movie. It was also the film in the series that held a lot of it’s own weight without Moose’s character. Moose does show up at the end and does his little thing, but the rest of the movie fares pretty decently without him.

10) Too Young To Be A Dad (2002)

Since I didn’t post a review the quick synopsis is that 15 year old Matt Freeman (Paul Dano) get’s his girlfriend pregnant and the families all have to figure out what to do, when Matt wants to step up.

First it’s Paul Dano, so do with that information what you will. Second this is a “Lifetime,” made-for-TV movie, so treat it like such. Now I’d say it was decent for what it is. It’s not ranking at the top in it’s category, but it does pretty well in mid range. I find enjoyment in this type of movie, however I know not everyone else does, so watch or not watch accordingly. 

11) Gully (2019)

Gully is ranked this low simply because it is so traumatizing. To quote my review cause I felt like I said it best then, “if you are emotionally tired of seeing Black youth being brutalized, even in a fictional setting and even if they are sometimes being brutal themselves, (product of their environment) give this one a pass. You do not have to sit through all that trauma because someone on Twitter was talking about how it’s a “must see.” Now if you feel you can handle it, than I suggest watching it with self-care practices in place.”

Basically the cast preformed very well, but it was far too violent and once again traumatizing for me to rank it any higher. Part of me thinks I could have gone even lower with it but since the cast did so well, while there were other just not great performances, it gets a mid rage score.

12) Expecting Amish (2014)

Another “Lifetime” made-for-TV movie, cause I dabbled in a few this year. This one was fairly decent, but it ranked lower because of the ending. When a movie is Oh-Kay, but it doesn’t give you what you want, you tend to drop it down several points. That all being said it has Jesse McCartney, so do with that information what you will lol.

13) Step Up All In (2014)

It’s the Battle of 2014 apparently. It’s also an “All Starts Season,” which everyone knows is typically filler. It wasn’t the worst in the Step Up lineup, but you could see what they were doing and even when you had a moment of fun, you were still kinda tired. It’s fun with the binge though.

14) Step Up 3D (2010)

I remember starting this movie forever ago, but not getting very far into it, fast forward to this binge of the series and I finally understood why. Basically this is the boring feature. It’s the movie they made while thinking they still had clout from the previous two and they were wrong. Again Moose does his thing, as well as Alyson Stoner, but it just wasn’t enough.

15) First Love (2022)

This was a movie that wanted to be something is didn’t deliver. It wanted to be a star crossed lovers film, but never succeeded in making us actually believe that. Yes it was the better of the Hero Fiennes Tiffin movies I saw this this year and it wasn’t the worst thing I saw, but I’m not sure I want to put something I thought was a little empty too high on this list.

16) Left For Dead: The Ashley Reeves Story (2021)

The quick rundown since no review, is that 17 year old Ashley Reeves was assaulted and left for dead, but later found buried alive and it follows how she coped afterwards.

This is an actual Lifetime Movie, based on a true story and sometimes they get them pretty decent and sometimes they fail and this one was not good. Yes the story itself is captivating, but the way it was told here wasn’t. It felt fake and rushed and overdramatic without the actual good dramatic parts to hold it up. It lacked so much for the type of story it was trying to tell and it just wasn’t worth the watch, unless you want to see all of them, good or bad. Good for it here though, cause there were worse movies that I saw in 2022.

17) Love, Game, Match (2022)

Students try to pair up their teachers, but there’s secrets that threaten to get in the way.

Another made-for-tv movie that didn’t give me any of the feels they are at the very least required to give. I’ll pretty much sit through any former Degrassi star’s post community school work, especially if there’s romance involved, but that doesn’t mean I have to call it good. It took me a couple sittings to get through this 1hr 25min movie because it couldn’t keep my attention when it needed to. I’m not a big fan of the word boring, but sometimes that’s the only way you can describe a film that lackluster. The goal is to crank out a lot and sometimes they’re good and sometimes they’re not, but a lot of time they’re just there on the Urgent Care waiting room TV making so the room isn’t totally empty. It was simply fine. 

18) The Change-Up (2011)

2 best friends switch bodies after thinking the other has the better life.

I’ve been wanting to see this movie for a long time, cause i happen to enjoy these types of films, but after watching it I feel like it could have stayed as something I just happened to missed. I guess I was over sitting through that much trash with little reward and maybe that’s why I shouldn’t be picking these movies up. There is no redemption arc that needs to happen here, at least not with this one. Sometimes this particular trope or theme or whatever is done well and other times the fact that you’ve seen it play out several times pulls it down even further.

19) After Ever Happy (2022)

One had to come before the other and this one was slightly better and do mean slight than it’s sibling that came out last year. It’s a toxic relationship, no shipping, we’re just in too deep.

20) Zach and Miri Make A Porno (2008)

2 Best Friends/Roommates who can’t pay their bills decide to make an adult film with their friends as well as some paid actors. What once was platonic may be catching some feels.

I love this era of movie, but not even Seth Rogen being Seth Rogen could save this movie, especially with him dropping the n-word. (Like that is one of the most unattractive things I’ve seen him do.) It had points for some professions of love, but lost them. Sorry not sorry, but a sad one in an era that I generally like. I feel like if I had watched it back in high school that I probably would have found some joy in this film, but once again I probably watched it too late and the connection is lost.

21) After We Fell (2021)

This movie was rushed and I barely knew what what going on in relation to where we were in the story line. This story is a mess just like the main character’s toxic relationship. There’s just not much redeeming for this particular film or the After series in general, so I think it was always end up at the bottom of the barrel.

[greensparty]

Remembering Gary Smith, Bruce Gowers and Van Conner

And you thought last week was bad after Jeff Beck and Lisa Marie Presley’s passing, this week there are already three noteworthy entertainers who passed away. Here is my combined remembrance:

Remembering Gary Smith ? - 2023

Smith and Tanya Donelly

Music producer and owner of Fort Apache Studios Gary Smith has died. Fort Apache Studios was based in Boston and Cambridge, MA from 1985-2002 and then relocated to Bellows Falls, VT from 2002-2007. The music that was recorded at Fort Apache and some of which Smith produced is ground-zero for the Golden Age of Alt-rock: Smith produced The Pixies’ first album Come On Pilgrim at the first Fort Apache studio in Roxbury (read my 4.5 star review of the 2018 re-release here), as well as albums from Throwing Muses, Blake Babies, and Juliana Hatfield. Some of the artists who recorded at Fort Apache include Buffalo Tom, Dinosaur Jr. (my favorite album of Dino Jr. Green Mind), Tanya Donelly, Folk Implosion, The Lemonheads, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Mission of Burma, Morphine, Sebadoh, Elliot Smith, Treat Her Right, 10,000 Maniacs, Weezer, and Radiohead (their first album Pablo Honey). Smith was also involved in other music-related businesses such as concert promotion and music management.

The link above is the obit from BrooklynVegan.

Remembering Bruce Gowers 1940-2023

Gowers (left) and Queen (right from their iconic music video)

Music video and music TV director Bruce Gowers has died at 82. He was very much a music video pioneer directing tons of videos in the 70s pre-MTV and during MTV from The Rolling Stones, The Bee Gees, Rod Stewart, Alice Cooper, Elton John, Journey, Michael Jackson (”Rock with You” was an early classic video), John Cougar Mellencamp, Rush, Van Halen, Kiss, The Pretenders, Prince (”1999″ is legendary!), and REO Speedwagon . He worked a lot with Queen on tons of their videos including the highly influential “Bohemian Rhapsody”. Even the Muppets parodied it! In 1992, when the song was featured in Wayne’s World and it went back up the charts, the music video combined footage from the film with Gowers’ video, bringing that original video to a whole new generation. 

He also directed a lot of music TV shows like Solid Gold (a show I loved as a kid), the MTV Video Music Awards in 1989-1995 and 2000, MTV’s Knebworth special, MTV’s 1993 Inaugural Ball, the 1994 Woodstock concert special, the MTV Movie Awards in 1996-2002 and countless other music TV specials and shows. He also directed tons of stand up comedy specials notably the 1987 HBO special Jerry Seinfeld: Stand-Up Confidential. That was pre-Seinfeld and was his first stand-up special.

The link above is the obit from Hollywood Reporter.

Remembering Van Conner 1967-2023

Van Conner interview in Hype!

Bassist Van Conner has died at 55. He, along with his brother Garry Lee Conner and Mark Lanegan co-founded WA alt-rockers Screaming Trees. This news comes less than a year after Lenegan died at 57. Screaming Trees formed in Ellensburg, WA in 1984. Like a lot of people, I discovered Screaming Trees from the Singles soundtrack, which spawned their 1992 hit “Nearly Lost You” (read my 5-star review of the 2017 re-release here). A few years later around the time their song “All I Know” was all over rock radio, I saw them on Lollapalooza ‘96. They played early in the day and flew under the radar, but good show. In 2020, Lanegan released his memoir and there were more than a few stories about Van (read my coverage of the book here). After Screaming Trees broke up, Van performed in several bands, as a session musician and reportedly was a computer programmer. It also needs to be added that Van was the bassist for the live lineup of Dinosaur Jr. from 1990-91. Van was also a featured interviewee in the 1996 Seattle music doc Hype! (read my blu-ray review here).

The link above is the obit from Spin. 

[batbitchandthefam]

What's your favorite color? (Asking for a friend heehee)

The color of Jason’s eyes. (Green? Blue? Turquoise?? You decide.)

[istrugglewithphilosophy]

SPIDERMAN

SPIDERMAN DOES EVERYTHING A SPIDER CAN SPINS A WEB, SUCKS THEIR GUTS AND HE KICKS THE BAD GUYS' BUTTS