#cool paw patrol band aid !!!!!

[spurkspaint]

stop going down goddamn!!!!!!

wait I NEVER POSTED MY COOL PAW PATROL BAND-AIDS ($3 |_ f h4rm tw below)

zuma

[nevermindthewind]

of pancakes and slushies

EDIT: forgot to mention that this was requested by a lovely anon who asked if i could write jake and amy taking their kiddo to target like the fumeros in david and melissa’s insta stories the other day. enjoy!

In many ways, Zoey Peralta is just like her father; she’s got his crazy curls, his passionate love for gummy candy and his uncanny ability to make Amy laugh at all hours of the day. Some days Amy wonders if she ended up spending nine months growing and then producing a female version of her husband because despite the fact that Zoey’s eyes are the same shape and color as her own, everything else about her allllllll Peralta.

Other days Zoey will ask to help with organizing the bathroom or glare at Jake when he uses the wrong voice while reading bedtime stories. Or, Amy’s personal favorite, she’ll declare her favorite Paw Patrol pup is Chase because “He’s a pweece officer like Mommy!” and then spend the afternoon pretending to arrest every object in the house. On days like those, Amy can totally, one hundred percent see herself in her two and a half year old and it makes her heart sing.

There are some instances though, where it is crystalline clear Zoey Peralta is a combination of both her parents.

This is, perhaps, never more true than when their little family decides to go on a Target run on Jake and Amy’s shared day off.

Jake is already getting breakfast started when Amy enters the kitchen with a sleepy Zoey clinging to her like a koala. Zoey’s curls are fanned across Amy’s chest, making her face barely visible to the untrained eye. He can’t help but smile as his two favorite girls slowly make their way towards the table, Amy trying as hard as she can to sit without jostling Zoey too much.

“Good morning, ladies,” he says brightly. “How are we doing on this fine Monday?”

The only response he gets is a low grunt coming from the curly haired mass still attached to Amy’s chest. Amy and Jake immediately lock eyes and try not to laugh. Zoey is not a morning person.

“Someone wasn’t ready to get up this morning,” Amy nods towards Zoey, attempting to smooth her curls away from her face. She plants a quick kiss on Zoey’s forehead. “Were you, baby?”

Zoey shakes her head against Amy’s chest. “Uh-uh.”

“I don’t blame ya, Zo-zo,” Jake says as he flips his current batch of pancakes. “Daddy likes sleep, too.”

“Yep. No one in this house has trouble sleeping anymore, do we?” Amy asks, nuzzling Zoey’s head with her cheek. In a few hours Zoey will be constantly on the move, but right now she’s so still and so affectionate it makes Amy’s heart ache. She’ll take all the cuddles she can get.

“No we don’t,” Jake agrees. He plops the pancakes on to the nearest plate before grinning over his shoulder. “But you know what’s better than sleep? PANCAKES!”

Amy feels Zoey begin to stir. Sure enough a tiny hand comes up to swipe hair out of its owner’s face. “With chocolate chips?” Zoey asks, a note of curiosity in her tired voice.

Jake scoffs. “But of course! Only the finest for my offspring.”

“Whatya think of that, Zo?” Amy bounces Zoey on her leg with a gentle smile. “Pancakes sound yummy, huh? And then, after we eat you know what we’re gonna do?”

Zoey shakes her head, a bit more interested.

Amy grins up at Jake before leaning down and faux-whispering in her daughter’s ear. “We’re gonna go to TARGET.”

The effect is instantaneous. Zoey’s eyes snap open, her head jolting off of Amy’s shoulder as her eyes flick from Amy to Jake and back again. “Really?!”

“Yes really,” Amy says with a nod. “I have a whole list of things to get and I need your help. You think you can help me?”

“Mmhm. Can we go to the one with es-kators!?” Zoey asks hopefully.

“Well of course,” Jake says, bringing over a plate of cut up pancakes for Zoey and two plates of non-cut pancakes for Amy and himself. He takes a seat across from Amy and Zoey and dives in. “Only the coolest Targets have escalators.”

“True that,” Amy says with a smirk. “So let’s eat and get dressed and then we can go, deal?”

Zoey scrambles off Amy’s lap and into her own chair before giving her parents a toothy grin. “Deal.”

Jake and Amy have been on their fair share of errands together in the seven years since they’ve been together, and while it isn’t perfect, they have ultimately created a system. Amy makes a list of all the things they needed, color-coded and categorized by department, and Jake without fail convinces her to buy a minimum of ten extra things they definitely did not need.

Zoey somehow does both. As soon as they park their car and make their way through the familiar red doors Zoey is badgering her mom about the list.

“Did you use colors, Mommy?” she asks as she slips her hand into Amy’s.

“Of course,” Amy says proudly, pulling out the piece of paper and showing it to Zoey. “What colors do you see?”

“Pink and yellow and green and blue!” Zoey says as she points to each one.

“Good job, baby!” Amy squeezes her daughter’s hand as Jake grabs a cart.

As they make their way into the store they inevitably have to pass the Starbucks and Target’s version of a cafe. Zoey grins up at her dad. “Slushies?”

Jake grins back and winks at Zoey before looking up at Amy. “Yeah Mommy, can we get slushies?”

“Oh my god,” Amy huffs, rolling her eyes. “You guys just had pancakes.”

“Yeah, two hours ago!” Jake points out. “We need more energy to keep us going, don’t we Bug?”

“Mmhm,” Zoey nods. Amy knows she shouldn’t give in, that if there is anything her daughter doesn’t need more, of it’s processed sugar. It doesn’t matter though because now Zoey and Jake are giving her matching puppy dog eyes. God, she’s such a goner.

“Fine,” Amy groans.

“YES! High five me, Zo.” Jake holds his hand out, which Zoey promptly tries to slap, tries being the key words. She gets it on the third try.

“But small ones! And you,” Amy jabs her finger into Jake’s chest, “Have to deal with the inevitable sugar rush and subsequent meltdown.”

“Deal.” Jake lifts Zoey up and the two of them race over to the counter. Any frustration Amy felt melts away as she watches her two favorite people hem and haw over their slushie choices. They’re both way too cute for her to be mad for too long.

A few minutes later Jake and Zoey return to Amy and the cart, both with giant smiles as they take their first sips of sugary slushie goodness.

“Ready to shop, sugar monsters?” Amy asks with an exasperated smile.

“Ready!” says Zoey, her teeth already blue from the slushie. Jake just nods, his mouth full.

Out comes the list and Amy’s favorite travel pen. “Alright, let’s do this.”

And so they make their way into the store, Jake pushing the cart while Amy and Zoey find the various items on their list. They make it through the pink section, aka hygiene and healthcare, pretty quickly, aka what Zoey deems the most boring part of the list. Amy does let her pick out her favorite band-aids, though. She goes with Ninja Turtle; Jake’s equally excited as she is about that purchase.

They’re just about to begin on their grocery list when Zoey announces she wants to ride in the cart.

“You sure, Bug?” Jake asks. “If you get in the cart you can’t help Mommy pick things out.”

“I wanna ride,” Zoey repeats. Jake and Amy shrug at each other before Amy goes to lift Zoey up and into the front part of the cart. Just before she sets her down Zoey lets out a very loud “NO!”

Amy freezes, suspending Zoey in midair. “But you said you wanted to ride?”

Zoey fervently shakes her head. “Not there!”

“Then where?” Confusion spreads over Amy’s face as Zoey points to the ground. “Zoey, baby I don’t understand.”

“Down!” Zoey says, again gesturing towards the floor. Amy sighs before doing as her tiny tyrant says and setting her back on the ground. As soon as her feet hit the ground Zoey moves towards the cart, making both Amy and Jake think she wants back in. Of course. But then, rather than try to climb up to the seat like a normal child, Zoey starts to crawl onto the little platform underneath the main compartment. “I sit here!”

All Amy and Jake can do is laugh at their daughter’s sheer determination as she tries to get herself onto the cart. Of course their kid is too cool for the actual seat and needs a whole platform to herself.

“But Zo, I think you’re too tall to sit there,” Amy explains. Zoey furrows her eyebrows and assesses the whole cart situation for a moment before her eyes light up.

“I lay down!” she exclaims before moving to the front of the cart and essentially army crawling onto the cart. She positions herself so her head is looking out to the store, her chin propped up on her hands.

“Well, you can’t say she’s not a problem solver,” Jake says to Amy, who’s just staring at her daughter with a mix of amazement and confusion. Amy snorts before looking up at him.

“Is this safe?” she asks.

Jake shrugs. “As long as she keeps her hands in, I feel like she’s fine. Better let her sit there than deal with a tantrum.”

“True.” Amy crouches down to be face to face with her daughter. “Okay Zoey, you can ride here. But you need to keep your hands inside the cart. No touching the ground or the wheels, okay? And no trying to get off while the cart is moving. Can you do that?”

Zoey nods, smiling so bright her eyes seem to sparkle. “I keep my hands here.” She taps her cheeks with her hands.

Amy smiles as she plants a kiss on Zoey’s head. “That’s perfect.”

She stands back up and shakes her head at Jake, who’s back behind the cart.

“Our kid is so weird,” she mouths at him. He laughs.

“I know,” he mouths back. Clearing his throat, Jake checks to see Zoey’s hands are, in fact, inside the cart. “Alright Zo, you ready for take-off?”

“Ready!” Zoey calls from her perch.

“Alright then,” says Jake. He dramatically grips the handle. “Here we goooooo!”

As soon as they start moving the cutest, purest giggle bursts from the bottom of the cart. Jake and Amy both can’t help but join in with their daughter, her laughter music to their ears. Jake was right; this is much, much better than a tantrum.

Amy leans down to see Zoey’s sweet little smile. “Having fun, baby?”

“Yes, Mommy!” Zoey giggles. “I flying!”

Zoey, being an avid rule follower like her mom keeps her hands inside the cart the whole time and never moves an inch, clearly mesmerized by her new position at the bottom of the cart. From her perch she cries out orders to her parents, calling for Jake to go faster and asking Amy if they can get gummy bears or Paw Patrol pencils. By the time they reach the counter they’ve found everything on Amy’s list, plus only five extra items Jake and Zoey convinced Amy they needed.

As Amy unloads their things onto the counter Zoey finally removes herself from the cart. The windswept smile on her face just about killed Amy right on the spot. How is their daughter so stinking cute?!

“This was the best day EVER,” Zoey announces.

For the thousandth time that day, Amy and Jake can’t help but grin at each other.

Amy rests her head on Jake’s shoulder. “I could say something really cheesy, like every day as her mom is the best day ever...”

Jake kisses the crown of her head. “And you would be 100% correct.”

[prxdigalsxns]

@silentiumxamoris liked for a starter and requested LITERALLY ANYONE BUT ALFIE

“I can give you a band-aid, but I’ve got dinosaurs and Hello Kitty, I think.” Seth rummaged through his pockets, trying to find aforementioned bandages.

“I work with kids. Cool band-aids work better for booboos, proven fact.” He offered, as explanation. 

He finally produced a few, glancing down at them. “Oh, it’s Paw Patrol and Hello Kitty, sorry. Must be out of dinosaurs.”

[ongames]

The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week

Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!

I haven't updated my wardrobe in a decade but I just bought clothes for my 5yo's doll. This is motherhood.

— Toni Hammer (@realtonihammer) May 30, 2017

Now what? -Kids on the 4th day of summer break

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 2, 2017

As a parent, you learn to accept you can't run away from your problems. They will find you. And they will demand fruit snacks.

— Life UnPinteresting (@LifeUnPinterest) May 30, 2017

Autocorrect changed my "congrats on the new baby" text from "new addition" to "new asshole" and, yeah, I chose not to change it back, OK?

— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) June 1, 2017

The sound of my toddler snoring in my ear every night is my blessing and my curse.

— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) June 1, 2017

I wish I'd known before I had a kid that 99 percent of parenting would be waiting in the car.

— Sarah del Rio (@establish1975) May 31, 2017

As a parent, it's an amazing feeling knowing you can pass on the lifetime of knowledge that...hang on CHEW THAT BITE BEFORE YOU TAKE ANOTHER

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 30, 2017

Kids are cool because they're like small super heroes whose power is shouting "I'M STILL NOT TIRED!!!" two hours after bedtime.

— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) June 1, 2017

2-year-old: *frantically points at the pig* Me: What's wrong? 2: *intense whisper* SHE'S NAKED.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) June 1, 2017

Don't get me wrong, I love my 3-year-old. It's just that sometimes I'm pretty sure he needs an exorcism.

— Ramblin' Mama (@ramblinma) May 30, 2017

I keep Band-Aids on a shelf my kids can't reach like a pharmacist keeping Sudafed behind the counter.

— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) June 1, 2017

Me: Wow! I got home early today! Nice! *looks around, realizes I forgot to pick up a kid from school

— Momma of Midgard (@MidgardMomma) May 30, 2017

You don't judge me cuz if you did, baby, I would judge you too -me to my 2yo as we hang out in pajamas and eat chocolate pudding all day.

— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) June 1, 2017

There's nothing like looking, unblinking, into your child's eyes, and hearing them whisper for the 1st time "I hate you more than the cat."

— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) June 1, 2017

You will never realize your full potential for speed and agility until the day you see your toddler holding a Sharpie marker

— TheBabyLady (@thebabylady7) May 30, 2017

I wish I’d known how much of parenting was having little people scream at me for giving them exactly what they wanted.

— OutnumberedMother (@OutNumbMother) May 31, 2017

*Sees kid next to me on airplane watching Paw Patrol Me: OH MY GOD, WHAT EPISODE IS IT? CAN I WATCH TOO?!?

— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) May 30, 2017

If you like getting cereal out of the cupboard only to find someone put it back empty, kids are totally for you.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 31, 2017

*nature documentary "Wild and untamed, the child cries out for the ubiquitous fidget spinner, yet still its parents won't buy one"

— My Meh Will Go On (@TheAlexNevil) June 1, 2017

Yelp, but just my 4yo reviewing floors under restaurant tables.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) May 30, 2017

Effective way to keep your kids from saying "I'm hungry" every 10 minutes when they're bored is to send them outside and lock all the doors.

— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) May 31, 2017

The 5 y.o. learned to read; it's bittersweet. While seeing her master a skill is sweet, I'm bitter that she can now tell when I skip pages.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) May 31, 2017

Not to brag, but my kids love kale, so basically my parenting work is done.

— Molly England (@bluebonetbabies) May 30, 2017

After a long exhausting week, I can finally rel.... [Kid wakes up at 1am and won't fall asleep until 3:45] http://pic.twitter.com/MO7DWbt4F7

— Jacques Nyemb (@jnyemb) May 27, 2017

Wonder Woman, but it's just me, getting my kids to school on time.

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) May 30, 2017

My toddler just told me I'm driving him nuts. So it seems we've come full circle.

— And What a Mom! (@andwhatamom) May 30, 2017

It's summer & I can't get the neighbors' kids out of my house, so I told them a black widow is hiding & I haven't seen them since Saturday.

— jj hartinger (@jjhartinger) May 30, 2017

Little does the bus driver know, that "I love you" I shout after my kids every morning is for him too.

— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) June 1, 2017

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week published first on http://ift.tt/2lnpciY

[yes-dal456]

The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week

Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!

I haven't updated my wardrobe in a decade but I just bought clothes for my 5yo's doll. This is motherhood.

— Toni Hammer (@realtonihammer) May 30, 2017

Now what? -Kids on the 4th day of summer break

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 2, 2017

As a parent, you learn to accept you can't run away from your problems. They will find you. And they will demand fruit snacks.

— Life UnPinteresting (@LifeUnPinterest) May 30, 2017

Autocorrect changed my "congrats on the new baby" text from "new addition" to "new asshole" and, yeah, I chose not to change it back, OK?

— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) June 1, 2017

The sound of my toddler snoring in my ear every night is my blessing and my curse.

— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) June 1, 2017

I wish I'd known before I had a kid that 99 percent of parenting would be waiting in the car.

— Sarah del Rio (@establish1975) May 31, 2017

As a parent, it's an amazing feeling knowing you can pass on the lifetime of knowledge that...hang on CHEW THAT BITE BEFORE YOU TAKE ANOTHER

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 30, 2017

Kids are cool because they're like small super heroes whose power is shouting "I'M STILL NOT TIRED!!!" two hours after bedtime.

— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) June 1, 2017

2-year-old: *frantically points at the pig* Me: What's wrong? 2: *intense whisper* SHE'S NAKED.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) June 1, 2017

Don't get me wrong, I love my 3-year-old. It's just that sometimes I'm pretty sure he needs an exorcism.

— Ramblin' Mama (@ramblinma) May 30, 2017

I keep Band-Aids on a shelf my kids can't reach like a pharmacist keeping Sudafed behind the counter.

— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) June 1, 2017

Me: Wow! I got home early today! Nice! *looks around, realizes I forgot to pick up a kid from school

— Momma of Midgard (@MidgardMomma) May 30, 2017

You don't judge me cuz if you did, baby, I would judge you too -me to my 2yo as we hang out in pajamas and eat chocolate pudding all day.

— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) June 1, 2017

There's nothing like looking, unblinking, into your child's eyes, and hearing them whisper for the 1st time "I hate you more than the cat."

— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) June 1, 2017

You will never realize your full potential for speed and agility until the day you see your toddler holding a Sharpie marker

— TheBabyLady (@thebabylady7) May 30, 2017

I wish I’d known how much of parenting was having little people scream at me for giving them exactly what they wanted.

— OutnumberedMother (@OutNumbMother) May 31, 2017

*Sees kid next to me on airplane watching Paw Patrol Me: OH MY GOD, WHAT EPISODE IS IT? CAN I WATCH TOO?!?

— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) May 30, 2017

If you like getting cereal out of the cupboard only to find someone put it back empty, kids are totally for you.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 31, 2017

*nature documentary "Wild and untamed, the child cries out for the ubiquitous fidget spinner, yet still its parents won't buy one"

— My Meh Will Go On (@TheAlexNevil) June 1, 2017

Yelp, but just my 4yo reviewing floors under restaurant tables.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) May 30, 2017

Effective way to keep your kids from saying "I'm hungry" every 10 minutes when they're bored is to send them outside and lock all the doors.

— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) May 31, 2017

The 5 y.o. learned to read; it's bittersweet. While seeing her master a skill is sweet, I'm bitter that she can now tell when I skip pages.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) May 31, 2017

Not to brag, but my kids love kale, so basically my parenting work is done.

— Molly England (@bluebonetbabies) May 30, 2017

After a long exhausting week, I can finally rel.... [Kid wakes up at 1am and won't fall asleep until 3:45] http://pic.twitter.com/MO7DWbt4F7

— Jacques Nyemb (@jnyemb) May 27, 2017

Wonder Woman, but it's just me, getting my kids to school on time.

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) May 30, 2017

My toddler just told me I'm driving him nuts. So it seems we've come full circle.

— And What a Mom! (@andwhatamom) May 30, 2017

It's summer & I can't get the neighbors' kids out of my house, so I told them a black widow is hiding & I haven't seen them since Saturday.

— jj hartinger (@jjhartinger) May 30, 2017

Little does the bus driver know, that "I love you" I shout after my kids every morning is for him too.

— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) June 1, 2017

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from http://ift.tt/2rNvzTY from Blogger http://ift.tt/2s1Rnes

[imreviewblog]

The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week

Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!

I haven't updated my wardrobe in a decade but I just bought clothes for my 5yo's doll. This is motherhood.

— Toni Hammer (@realtonihammer) May 30, 2017

Now what? -Kids on the 4th day of summer break

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 2, 2017

As a parent, you learn to accept you can't run away from your problems. They will find you. And they will demand fruit snacks.

— Life UnPinteresting (@LifeUnPinterest) May 30, 2017

Autocorrect changed my "congrats on the new baby" text from "new addition" to "new asshole" and, yeah, I chose not to change it back, OK?

— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) June 1, 2017

The sound of my toddler snoring in my ear every night is my blessing and my curse.

— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) June 1, 2017

I wish I'd known before I had a kid that 99 percent of parenting would be waiting in the car.

— Sarah del Rio (@establish1975) May 31, 2017

As a parent, it's an amazing feeling knowing you can pass on the lifetime of knowledge that...hang on CHEW THAT BITE BEFORE YOU TAKE ANOTHER

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 30, 2017

Kids are cool because they're like small super heroes whose power is shouting "I'M STILL NOT TIRED!!!" two hours after bedtime.

— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) June 1, 2017

2-year-old: *frantically points at the pig* Me: What's wrong? 2: *intense whisper* SHE'S NAKED.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) June 1, 2017

Don't get me wrong, I love my 3-year-old. It's just that sometimes I'm pretty sure he needs an exorcism.

— Ramblin' Mama (@ramblinma) May 30, 2017

I keep Band-Aids on a shelf my kids can't reach like a pharmacist keeping Sudafed behind the counter.

— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) June 1, 2017

Me: Wow! I got home early today! Nice! *looks around, realizes I forgot to pick up a kid from school

— Momma of Midgard (@MidgardMomma) May 30, 2017

You don't judge me cuz if you did, baby, I would judge you too -me to my 2yo as we hang out in pajamas and eat chocolate pudding all day.

— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) June 1, 2017

There's nothing like looking, unblinking, into your child's eyes, and hearing them whisper for the 1st time "I hate you more than the cat."

— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) June 1, 2017

You will never realize your full potential for speed and agility until the day you see your toddler holding a Sharpie marker

— TheBabyLady (@thebabylady7) May 30, 2017

I wish I’d known how much of parenting was having little people scream at me for giving them exactly what they wanted.

— OutnumberedMother (@OutNumbMother) May 31, 2017

*Sees kid next to me on airplane watching Paw Patrol Me: OH MY GOD, WHAT EPISODE IS IT? CAN I WATCH TOO?!?

— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) May 30, 2017

If you like getting cereal out of the cupboard only to find someone put it back empty, kids are totally for you.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 31, 2017

*nature documentary "Wild and untamed, the child cries out for the ubiquitous fidget spinner, yet still its parents won't buy one"

— My Meh Will Go On (@TheAlexNevil) June 1, 2017

Yelp, but just my 4yo reviewing floors under restaurant tables.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) May 30, 2017

Effective way to keep your kids from saying "I'm hungry" every 10 minutes when they're bored is to send them outside and lock all the doors.

— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) May 31, 2017

The 5 y.o. learned to read; it's bittersweet. While seeing her master a skill is sweet, I'm bitter that she can now tell when I skip pages.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) May 31, 2017

Not to brag, but my kids love kale, so basically my parenting work is done.

— Molly England (@bluebonetbabies) May 30, 2017

After a long exhausting week, I can finally rel.... [Kid wakes up at 1am and won't fall asleep until 3:45] http://pic.twitter.com/MO7DWbt4F7

— Jacques Nyemb (@jnyemb) May 27, 2017

Wonder Woman, but it's just me, getting my kids to school on time.

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) May 30, 2017

My toddler just told me I'm driving him nuts. So it seems we've come full circle.

— And What a Mom! (@andwhatamom) May 30, 2017

It's summer & I can't get the neighbors' kids out of my house, so I told them a black widow is hiding & I haven't seen them since Saturday.

— jj hartinger (@jjhartinger) May 30, 2017

Little does the bus driver know, that "I love you" I shout after my kids every morning is for him too.

— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) June 1, 2017

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from Healthy Living - The Huffington Post http://bit.ly/2s20V9j