#counterpoint: when I do it it's funny

[jheselbraum]

zelganlink au where zelda and ganondorf are in an arranged marriage but they're both normal about it and are totally fine seeing other people as long as there's no scandal made about it. So Zelda starts sneaking out to see her childhood friend who lives on a small farm just outside Castle Town. He doesn't talk much but he never turned her in to the guards whenever she'd run away as a kid and he always listens to her. Ganondorf on the other hand starts sneaking out to see a truly fascinating Hylian voe he met on his way to the wedding, who beat back ten bokoblins armed with nothing but a tree branch and, not realizing that the ten foot tall Gerudo man decked out in gold, silk, jewels, and other finery was the future king of Hyrule and instead zeroing in on Ganondorf's fucking gigantic horse, proceeded to infodump about horses to him for the next four hours. Neither of them think it's really worth mentioning exactly who they're going to see, since the idea is to keep the whole thing under wraps, so they neglect to tell each other that the guy they're seeing is a ranch hand named Link.

Ganondorf immediately assumes that Zelda, brilliant mad scientist that she is, is just really good at keeping her lover's identity a secret, and knows exactly who his lover is, and wanting to show that he is committed to preventing a scandal, swears Link to secrecy.

Zelda's had the time to get to know Ganondorf and now knows he's not going to stop her if she wants to turn an entire wing of the castle into her personal study, so like, he can do whatever. To preserve her passion project-- importing the Gerudo concept of "algebra" into the Hylian school system-- she swears Link to secrecy.

Link is pretty sure Ganondorf and Zelda have forgotten that he's not royalty and therefore faces actual, head severing consequences for breaking the law, but he also doesn't want to cause trouble for either of them by getting himself caught and he definitely doesn't want to stop seeing them. He thinks that Ganondorf and Zelda are perfectly aware of the entire situation, and has no idea that they're non-communicative idiots.

Link is still the chosen one, or whatever, but this version of Ganondorf gets defeated by Link every tuesday night no master sword required, so he doesn't realize that he's also immune to legal consequences for courting both the king and queen via "if you want to kill him you have to best him in combat" shenanigans.

Impa knows everything but TV hasn't been invented yet so she keeps it to herself

[wesawbears]

I think my favorite part of TSC is that we get the counterpoint of Jeremy's POV.

Not only because it's funny (it is) or because I love Jeremy (I do), but because it drives home the themes of AFTG in a way that Neil or even Jean's POVs cannot.

With Neil, we get the upperclassmen, but for the most part everyone he interacts with is so steeped in the mafia plot and the ravens, but also just so much abuse that we as the readers get kind of stewed into seeing things from Neil's perspective. It's why we have to remember that Neil is an unreliable narrator. (It's not a bug, it's a feature btw; I love Neil's batshit view of the world)

But with Jeremy, it gets thrown into stark relief that it does not have to be like this.The Trojans practice, and they go home. Exy is not a metaphor to them, or a lifeline, or an obligation; it is an activity. They have lives. They have friends outside of Exy, something Neil does not have.

So, I watch a lot of college gymnastics. I love the sport, but (like all sports), there is the looming specter of abuse. Every year, it seems like another coach is discovered to have abused their athletes. Weight tracking, emotional abuse, physical abuse and intimidation. Its something you weigh when you're a college sports fan, knowing on some level that this thing you enjoy on some level enables this. 

And it makes me think of the line in TSC:

“What we don’t understand is how a grown-ass man took a bunch of kids and turned them into monsters for sport.”

Because this is what Neil's POV can't give us. Neil, and Kevin and Jean, the stakes are higher because of the mafia plot, it's true. But SO MANY OTHER ravens were just normal kids who got destroyed so some adults could make money and have a little bit of glory. 

And, to be clear, this isn't a place to be like “and this is why I don't watch sports” because it's EVERYWHERE. In music, TV, school theater and choir- anywhere there is a power dynamic, there is the potential for abuse. 

And by providing the counterpoint from the Trojans, it becomes even more apparent how unnecessary it all is.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for laughing at my conservative uncle?

This is an incident that made half of my family go no/low contact with each other, and some still think I was an asshole for it (I think I wasn't), but I wanna get tumblr's perspective. I was 24(F) when this happened, my uncle was 58.

Thanksgiving 2021 my family wanted a big weekend long get together after not being able to do Thanksgiving in 2020 due to lockdowns. Family members took time off work and drove in from out of state so we could all hang out from Thursday to Sunday.

We all have that one uncle who spends every family event saying the most out there racist/sexist/homophobic/transphobic/whatever shit, and mine I feel is worse than most. He has some truly shitty takes like "It should be legal to hunt the homeless for sport", and "If a woman doesn't wanna get raped she should get married at like 16 and never go anywhere without her husband," and "If I ever saw a man pretending to be a woman I would kill him with my bare hands, and most of this nation would agree with me". Truly a piece of shit. Meanwhile my family knows I am extremely progressive, so they do their best to keep me and my uncle separate during family events or else it could (and has in the past) lead to shouting matches.

But here's the thing: I would happily avoid him and not talk to him during get togethers, but he loves arguing. He seeks me out. He'll follow me to the bathroom and bring up transphobic things happening in the news. He'll get up from the dinner table to walk over to me and shove an news article about Trump in my face. If he sees me enter the room he'll start talking LOUDLY about his political opinions. He WANTS to argue with me, and the family considers it my duty to ignore him and calls me an asshole when I engage, because that's just giving him what he wants. But he somehow never gets called out for hounding me, because "that's just how he is".

So it's Thanksgiving 2021. And maybe it's because of the therapy, or maybe it's just because I'm getting tired of avoiding him, or maybe it's the lockdowns that eroded my social graces, but I see him spot me from across the room and get that "ohhh I'm gonna make her sooooo mad" little glint in his eye and start to make his way over, and I don't find it infuriating anymore. I find it deeply funny that this divorced, no job, no bitches, deadbeat dad, that everyone secretly hates, has decided the only way he can get a drop of serotonin in his sad miserable life that HE ruined all by himself, is to turn to reactionary politics in a desperate attempt to get a rise out of his niece.

He starts in on the regular vile transphobic shit (I don't need to repeat it we've heard it all before, imagine the worst anti-trans rhetoric you've ever heard and yup. That's what he was saying) and I don't try to counter his points like I usually do. I just laugh. He keeps going, looking more and more puzzled, and I keep laughing.

He thinks I didn't hear him right. No no, I heard it all, and it was funny. He decides I must be too triggered to speak. No I promise, I'm having the time of my life. He guesses I'm not as smart as I think I am then, if I can't come up with a good counterpoint. Oh I'm plenty smart, and you're plenty hilarious.

Long story short he gets madder and madder that I won't engage until he's red faced and yelling. Family members are trying to calm him down and telling me to stop. I don't. I'm not mad that they're again blaming me for the interaction when I was just standing there and HE came up to ME, it's just really funny at that point. Really funny that the entire family walks on eggshells to protect his precious feelings when they could just laugh in his face like I am. My uncle punches a hole in my grandmother's wall and storms off cussing. The mood of the entire Thanksgiving weekend is ruined, and even my most left leaning family members think I'm an asshole because I KNOW how he is and I should have just walked away.

Should I have just walked away to save everyone's Thanksgiving weekend?

What are these acronyms?

[maxwell-grant]

Any thoughts on AKI in SF6?

I haven't had a chance to play the game yet and I might do a more thorough look into the newcomers after I do sit through World Tour, but yeah I got some AKI thoughts. Holy shit what a design. Top 15-20 in the series, it is one hell of a different thing to watch it animated by the character's personality and moveset and vibe. We expected some FANG-isms, some Juri-isms, but certainly not that. We expected a cold, even generic assassin, not someone who merrily treats the penal code like a list of chores.

It was pretty funny seeing the reaction to her develop from "oh she's FANG's apprentice, okay I guess, not sure anyone was asking for that", to "is she the new Juri, she's got a really similar vibe", to "holy shit Juri's got NOTHING on her". In reaction to her popularity, SF6 had been doing a lot of great character work on Juri that, while making her much more developed and entertaining as a character (cringe failgirl Juri was such a revelation) and dramatically more interesting as a person, also really limits the extent to which she can be a straight-up villain anymore. Much like how FANG was designed to fill the void left by Sagat, AKI here crashed the scene to fill the void left by Juri, and so she gets to be not just completely 100% horrible (where as Juri is like, 70-80% horrible), but also SCARY in a way Juri never could be. She gets so, so much out of not being designed for sex appeal and coolness first and foremost, she's like the D'Vorah to Juri's Mileena.

She's a horrible, predatory character, and much like Marisa, I don't think she would have been allowed at all to exist the way she does had she debuted prior (you just know they would have not given her those sick ass pants or given her a different haircut or a cleavage window or something stupid like that). The development team for V repeteadly stated that there were ideas for a new assassin apprentice character related to Gen thrown around and that some of those made their way into FANG and Seth, and AKI is the end result of that very long refinement process. She's the resident freakshow character in the tradition started by Blanka and Dhalsim, and she's the outrageous over-the-top counterpoint to the more traditional martial arts like Chun-Li or even Jamie (much like Adon, or Necro). She's the understudy of the kung fu assassin villain, and in a way akin to Menat she's the young new apprentice of a prior character who acts as a stand-in for that character on the roster and driven to prove her worth before said character, while also being a modern do-over of said character.

(And for the record I actually like FANG quite a bit, a lot more than most of the other V characters. He played like garbage and his execution was lacking and couldn't make up for a terrible first impression in the fanbase, but the design and character and concept I thought were very solid and I'm glad AKI shows they didn't give up on it but took steps to improve on it, I'm glad to see him again in 6).

She breaks new ground for the series by leaning strongly into a horror wraith vibe no other character had before, and she's the Street Fighter equivalent to characters like Voldo, a horrible contortionist slasher villain who doesn't fight you so much as she just passionately and exquisitely butchers you while getting off on it. Her moves are incredible, superbly characterized, she feels vicious and oppressive to watch but still hits that note on FANG's where the playstyle is meant to be tricky but overspecialized and beatable at close range. And while she's designed to be a much more explicitly serious and deadly-looking character than FANG, they even give her goofy little flourishes like blowing bubbles shaped like FANG (and getting pissed if you pop them), his propensity for bird-like arms flapping, and an uncharacteristically childish victory dance akin to Chun-Li's.

She is as cadaverous as Juri is tempestuous, openly referring to herself as a ghost, and when she isn't losing her shit in contorting fits of laughter over success, she has a remarkably chill, upbeat disposition when spouting horrible things to the protagonist or fake poisoning them for laughs. She has an incredibly distinct personality more so than any especially developed inner life, and that's kinda the point: that she has wholly and completely sublimated herself to her role as FANG's tool, by choice and intent of her own, and that's part of why she's a real deal villain.

She was raised by him, she likes what he likes, she is obsessed with everything he is and has done and will do, hates everyone that isn't him, considers him her master and teacher and father and husband all in one, and her romantic fixation and love for him is meant to be deeply disturbing in every way imaginable (and only not a total dealbreaker for me because FANG in no way reciprocates or encourages it or is able to do so, even AKI understands as much), and that they may eventually have to kill each other doesn't deter her one bit.

Despite those surface similarities, there is quite a lot that sets AKI apart from Juri, chief of those being that Juri was victimized by Shadaloo and in response fashioned herself into an instrument of vengeance and turned monstrous as a result, where as AKI actively chose her life and chose being molded by someone else, running away from home and following FANG every step of the way without any regret. Even FANG himself had little choice in his own life, kidnapped as a child and forced to partake in horrible training under which every day could be his last, raised to value nothing but survival at all costs.

Perhaps this in itself is the strength that FANG saw in AKI, that she gets to choose and does so with far greater intent than even himself. That she's someone who could fully understand the horribleness of the Nguuhao methods and lifestyle and want for that and nothing else, to consciously partake in such grueling torture of mind and body and lovingly decide that she can't get enough of it.

And in itself this pairs interestingly with the very idea of giving FANG a dedicated protege sidekick, a character beat that the series has come back to again and again, and takes on an entirely different tone here. I think a lot of what makes AKI's obsession interesting to me in a way these usually aren't, is not just because it's creepy, but because it's ultimately sad and pathetic, and parallels FANG's own craven worship of Bison. It's such a great dynamic, a miserable cycle perpetuated by miserable people caught on the wrong side of that glorification of self-improvement, inner strength and the great heroes and masters who can pass it onto others that the series uses so frequently, and it makes AKI even greater as a character for it: because now we have a true dark mirror for the driving motivation of many of our characters. We have our fucked-up toxic counterpart to every Sakura, Mika, Menat, and Sean out there.

She sees him as he saw Bison and more, and the fact that she is much more threatening and overtly competent and scary than FANG is offset by the fact that worshipping Bison is a wholly different thing than worshipping, y'know, FANG. We comprehend, on some level, FANG's worship, because M.Bison is supposed to be, at minimum, a cool imposing megavillain we're meant to like on some level, which is certainly not true for FANG. SF6 has been very clear on that, that even though he's been given a much slicker outfit, and is keeping a low profile to plot from behind the scenes, this is still very much FANG, every bit the conniving, petty control freak from before.

AKI is a cool, hypercompetent death machine able to scare the pants off the main villain, and she labors desperately day and night, to the point of crying if she fails, to meet the approval of a ridiculous, pathetic man who, no matter how deceptively cunning or dangerous he may be, is only cool to her. Much of why I think FANG worked and was necessary in the first place was because he was designed around the vacuum left by the Four Kings and to contrast them, as what kind of man would it take to work himself ragged running Bison's schemes and being unfailingly loyal to him and Shadaloo, opposite Vega and Balrog's sporadic barely-there alliances and Sagat's outright betrayal. We needed an anti-Sagat, a proper bastard of a Number 2 to run the show in secret. And AKI adds a lot of poignancy to that in that she is much of what FANG can't be, even as she wants nothing more than to be like him.

It's one thing to have somebody who really looks up to and makes an effort to imitate the cool and impressive and heroic World Warriors, or someone influenced by imposing villains like Balrog or Sagat but ultimately decides to carve their own path. It's another thing entirely for maybe THE most obsessive protege character in the series, someone who actively has no identity outside of servitude to her master, to revolve around FANG, the dastardly bird man, who made his debut in a story by hunting down and melting an innocent woman, and grossly and animastically licking her ashen remains off his fingers. What kind of person would decide that this sickening, vile creep is deserving of worship and following until the ends of the Earth?

(art by @remy2fang)

Well, maybe the same kind of person who would consciously look at the likes of M.Bison in the first place, someone they intuitively understand "will reign death on all living beings", and upends their life on the spot towards becoming that man's eternal servant. Someone who seeks self-fulfillment through no other means than the pursuit of strength and knowledge as tools to subjugate others and appease their master. The darkest corruption of the master-student dynamic that defines so much of the series. You couldn't ask for anything more fitting, for the poison specialists.

[claiestve]

𝐋𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐙𝐞𝐫𝐨 ꨄ Zaros

˜”* ❝'𝘾𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚, 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙙 𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙬𝙖𝙩𝙘𝙝 𝙢𝙚 𝙙𝙞𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙖𝙧𝙢𝙨.❞

⎯⎯ ୨ ୧ ⎯⎯

ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ: ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ᴢᴀʀᴏꜱ ꜰɪɴᴀʟʟʏ ᴛᴀʟᴋ.

⎯୨⎯ " " ⎯୧⎯

You were going on a walk to calm you down. The trials have stressed you out to a ton and you could not sit still. However, you wanted company. You knew how much he irritated and aggravated you with his little tantrums about how ‘spoiled’ you were but you couldn’t help but feel relaxed around him. He was the one person you could be yourself around. Even though your guard was always up, mask always on, he got to see a more truthful side to it. 

It didn’t take too long to find him as he visited his favorite areas. And there he was, reading in the grass. You couldn’t grasp how he felt so comfortable doing such and so openly, but it wasn’t time for you to judge, not now anyway. 

“I’m going for a walk to clear my head.” You say looking at him sternly. However, he seemed quite unbothered. He didn’t ask anything or say anything witty. He just sat there. 

“Have fun.”

“You don’t want to join me?” 

“Do you want me to?” He raised a brow, smirking. A stupid look that he always has on his face. It was utterly annoying but it did amuse you just a bit. 

You nodded to his ask and waited for him to get up. 

“You’re carrying the book around? Just leave it here.”

“I’d rather have it on me in case you try hurting me. Oddly, you would even want me to join you on this walk. Suspicious even. Are you planning on getting your competition out of the way early? That’s foul you know.” There he went with his blunt, arrogant, insufferable rants and accusations. 

You didn’t even care to indulge in him, you’d rather relish this peace. He must’ve noticed your unusual silence because he reciprocated it. Even though you were already a quieter person, often holding back, you’d snap back at him. 

“So, my Earis, what brings us here and on this stroll? You seem awfully peaceful and quiet today.” 

“Well,” You started hesitantly, “I know the trials have been utterly stressful, wouldn’t you agree?”

Zaros scoffed at your facade. He knew you weren’t as put together as you portrayed yourself to be. Unfortunately for him, you had no intention of arguing. 

“So you brought your rival on a stroll with you? That’s outright stupidity.”

“You’re free to leave, Zaros. You were invited to join me, not required.”

He stared at you in silence. Normally, he had a smart counterpoint but not this time. Not even one word no matter how bad he wanted to say it. For the first time, he was completely dumbfounded. 

“Apologies, I– the idea just confused me.”

You nodded in acceptance of his apology. Most of the time, you’d laugh at him for being so quickly flabbergasted; however, you didn’t have the energy for that. You didn’t have the energy to be as angry or snarky as you typically were. 

“But,” He started again, “You are very quiet today. Perhaps you want me to start the conversations?”

“That would be nice.”

“Ah, what am I most interested in asking you about today?”

“Please nothing that would make me feel guilty.”

The two of you laughed at that. It felt so odd but so right. After all, if a joke is funny, laugh. That was something you’ve taught him a long time ago. Around when you first met. Zaros wasn’t the best at expressing himself but you changed him completely. Whether that was a good or bad thing, you didn’t care enough to debate it. 

“Remember when we were learning how to skip rocks? Ah, you hated that. Always complaining about your hands being dirty and coming to me to help you clean them.”

“I remember that. I still loathe the filthiness of those rocks. I did turn to you a lot though, didn’t I?”

“Yes. Always going to me saying ‘Zaros, my hands are dirty again!’ I remember I would use my own clothes to wipe your hands and arms. I felt like your protector or some such.”

In a way, he kind of was. That’s how you used to see him. Oddly enough, that’s how he saw you too. 

He cleared his throat and walked closer to you, “That was when we were inseparable.”

You smiled at him, “The most free I've ever been.”

He looked at you in confusion. He knew you didn’t have the most freedom here but if anything, he thought you would enjoy it knowing your ‘standards’.

“You feel trapped here?”

“Not trapped, just very restricted.”

“Do you feel trapped right now?” Zaros asks, putting his hand on your shoulder, expecting you to push it off.

“No, not when I’m with you.”

You say as you keep his hand on your shoulder, enjoying his company. 

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

this was originally supposed to be an alex fic but... no! this was also going to go in so many different directions so it took me a minnn

[ptsdangeldust]

tw rape / abuse / suicidal ideation / self harm

can i just fucking say that the "poison" scene was just fucking flawless to me. as a survivor of rape and psychological abuse it was so fucking hard to watch and hit on every note i wanted it to. the suicidal ideation, the self destruction, the pain, the torment, the addiction, the hopelessness, everything.

[this got long LOL big analysis of ep4 basically]

also it's a little funny how easily i called it when the pilot came out that angel was gonna have ptsd and cope with it through hypersexuality . like this was obvious from the start to me and they do telegraph / foreshadow it from the first episode pretty well in my opinion. like ALMOST too much. but at the same time i'm kind of glad. like that's what i like about the show is that it *is* so raw and over the top when it talks about this kind of thing. that's why i like campy edgy uncomfortable shit bc where the fuck else am i gonna hear anyone specifically hit the perfect sweet spot of just exploitative-feeling enough to feel palpably uncomfortable in a way that just like. perfectly conveys this message. in my opinion, obviously.

it's like so crazy to me that i had this exact high expectation for the show and adjusted for edginess and got exactly what i wanted and then some. like. god. they hit every note in succession all at once and then tied it off with a beautiful, nuanced but genuinely well paced and well thought out resolution.

"loser, baby" was so fucking perfect as the counterpoint to "poison" in this episode. also charlie coming in and being purehearted but not knowing what she's doing and making it worse. but angel ultimately understanding that she meant to help and it's not her that's the problem obviously. and then husk is ultimately the one to give a shit about angel (with some encouragement, which like i honestly appreciate that he doesn't take angel's bullshit and isn't just the like Token Black Savior who has no character or agency of his own [of course i'm white so don't take me as the authority on this issue but i'm certainly aware of it]) and like not only try to stop him from self destructing but like relate his experience and make him admit he has a fucking problem. sooooo much of abuse is built on making the victim think they're at fault for what they're going through. the way val makes him look in the mirror and say "yes" outloud to himself over and over while literally holding his head and threatening him was such a good way of driving that home. and then we see angel have so much pride poked at so easily when he's called fake because he's SO aware he's putting on an act. he lets himself be exploited because he thinks it gives him a sense of control. can't be called fake if i'm an actor. can't prove i'm ever real. never have to BE real. never have to admit that anything is wrong and come to terms with it.

and so husk comes right the fuck out and says it. you're a loser. you're washed up. you're a has been. you're self destructive. you hurt everyone around you. ..... and you're not alone. THAT'S the important part. that's the real thing that gets you out of abuse. people. not being alone. like not just KNOWING that THEORETICALLY you're not alone but actually having people show up and help you and put in the work and relate to you and listen to you and let you listen to them. that's why abusers chronically work to isolate people. because it's so much easier to exploit someone who has absolutely no support system. who only answers to them. who has no one to turn to if shit goes sour.

ok also the fucking hypersexual self harm? i have NEVER seen that portrayed so accurately and so explicitly before. i feel like basically every single time i see it talked about at ALL in media it's either 1) portrayed as like sexy or ultimately good 2) strays totally the opposite direction and is talking more about cycle of abuse shit (which yes that's also important but not what i'm after) 3) really just hinted at / i have to like extrapolate it from vague hints or 4) exists in shitty media that is not ultimately trying to tell a story about escaping abuse it's just talking about a tragic waif and trying to make you feel sad. which is just another kind of exploitation really. so it was very refreshing to see it made very clear that angel was going around *trying* to get drugraped (which is NOOOOOT the same as consent. but i'm not going to get into that) because he was trying to hurt himself. he knew it wasn't good for him and he sought it out anyway. he could have wound up dead and he did not care. that's how low his self esteem is. that's how little he thinks of himself. that's how absolutely terminal his suicidal ideation is. i like used the word 'passive' at first but no i would not call that passive he is clearly actively suicidal hsuidguhds (ftr passive suicidal ideation is like. 'i wish i could go to sleep and not wake up.' but not actually acting on it. active is when you start purposely not looking both ways when you cross the street. that's basically what angel was doing)

anyway yeah. ep4 was kind of the peak for me i'm ngl HUIDGHIS obviously i'm very excited to see where things are going in general but especially more huskerdust........ i would like live if they didn't actually end up together but it feels clear to me that they genuinely care about each other and at least angel does seem to have... romantic-leaning feelings for him. would be cool if they had some scene where husk is like just cuz i care about you doesn't mean i'm going to be your magic saviour through love or whatever. bc i feel like it would be so easy for angel to immediately want and/or expect that. i did personally coming out of my abuse where i was absolutely desperate for real actual non-abusive love of any kind but i was NOT remotely healthy enough to truly accept it then even if it had actually been handed to me and i wound up in something that was..... better, yes, but ultimately still toxic and not completely ideal. not abusive, no, just not like. healthy. lol. but i do have good healthy happy love now so i'm glad lol <3 but like anyway this is a common thing with abuse survivors and it would *make sense* to see it but like i wouldn't put it past them to just go straight into "and then angel got better immediately and they got together and everyone lived happily ever after the end" HSDUIGSHUID but like idk man. we'll see LOL

also i did want to comment on like...... the fact that the scene was worked on by someone with a legit rape fetish who was like straight up into angel/val as a ship and thought it was like cool and fun or whatever. like. i really don't think the scene itself came off as glorifying rape or abuse. it's blatantly obvious that it's not good and the emphasis is placed entirely on angel's pain. and like it's. it's not porn. it's evocative. it's explicit. but the purpose of the scene is not "look at this hot sexy sex" it's "look at this horrifying abuse". like yes obviously there are gonna be people who get off on it but people can get off on anything if they try hard enough. porn is art explicitly meant for jacking off. not everything about sex is porn. i think if you interpret it as glorifying sex you're honestly out of your goddamn mind. the song ends with angel talking about how he wants to fucking die because of it. is that glorification to you?? really???

ultimately, *I* think it's good. i think, objectively, the team did an extremely good job. give them an award or something. i swear. where's the oscar. my boy angel needs his oscar LOL

... one last note, because this is tumblr: this is very triggering material. probably it should've had a better warning of some kind. but it is telegraphed/foreshadowed like i said and the show is rated 16+ on amazon (i feel like it should be 18+ imo but it's like. it's repeatedly listed as being for adults/"R rated" in promo material at least) and sex and violence are listed right there at the top of each episode where it shows the rating so like. idk man. that's as much warning as is usually given for this kind of thing ngl. i absolutely am not saying it's not triggering. but it is important to portray triggering things. it is important to talk about these things to give people in these situations someone to relate to and to give them the language to understand how to escape abuse, first of all, and like also art in general *should* be challenging. i think they genuinely said important, unique things and said them well. they did wayyyy better than i thought they would. for real. like esp coming from viv knowing her past like. clearly someone in the room actually knew what they were doing lmao (one of the writers for hazbin also worked on the episodes in helluva that covered similar abuse recovery material so. you know)

[borzoilover69]

“Ok Borzoi so why don’t you like Dirkjohn” - somebody, who didn’t ask, but I want to ramble. 

I guess it’s funny as a crack ship but in actuality, i feel it would fall incredibly flat and only be viable in an unhealthy way. Canonically, they've got little to nothing to do with each other, and their relationship branches on bullshit in the epilogues and HS2 which just isn't a good judge of Dirk and Johns character so much as a butcher of it.

First, lets get their characters down. Dirk, very introspective to the point of destruction, who’s prone to rambling, overcomplicating and accentuating things in a way to keep up his aura of coolness, of being “totally in control and all knowing”, and sort of socially awkward, failing quite a few times to read jokes as jokes. 

John, upfront, more likely to push forward without really thinking, keeps things simple and asks not much, and very much a protagonist figure. He’s blunt, he’s teasing in his humour, and he likes to take the mic out of people and make his own fun. 

Dirk is very active. He's willing to go through many hoops and talk around himself, and he needs a conversational partner willing to spar him on it, however, John is anything but that. He's upfront, he brings a hypothetical hammer down into the bush that dirk is walking around. Jake will indulge, so will a lot of the alpha kids, but the beta kids by far are more blunt and straight forward. John would see whatever bullshit Dirk is pulling and think it's stupid and ornery, and shut him down..Dirk would go "okay" and then either try to counterpoint to be shut down, or walk away.This conversation is a relaly good point of reference for how it would go. Note how roxy is going through the general alpha kids bullshit theatrics and ornery, and john instead of getting it, cuts it down with "no thats stupid", and doesnt get the joke.

This conversation is a really good point of reference for how it would go. Note how roxy is going through the general alpha kids bullshit theatrics and ornery, and john instead of getting it, cuts it down with "no thats stupid", and doesnt get the joke.

dirk wouldn't know how to handle someone actually being completely straight up and refusing to humor him, being open about not giving a shit about whatever tangent dirk is on.  it might humble him which he definitely needs sometimes but most of the time itd just make him go "ok. whatever man im going to jake's"

(art by my boyfriend) 

Nobody puts up with dirk and jakes bullshit as much as dirk and jake do each other

DIRK: "I'll get this blue gumball son of a bitch this time. He's gonna be so perplexed by the bullshit im about to spew he's got no idea the storm that's wafting in on the wind."

 and then john says ratio and dirk is reduced to ash. 

John and Jake also have a bad habit of comparison in a negative sense, like how he did with davesprite. Jake does it out loud with no regard for others, and John is the type to drop a single “x has already made this joke” because his preference of Dave is so much stronger than Dirk. Dirk wouldn’t be able to beat Dave to the ironic punchline because most likely, Dave has already said it in a language John understands, and John has made fun of him for it already. John doesn’t have patience for long winded games, if he’s not in the mood he’ll just fuck off. 

Personally feel like John would be acutely aware that Dirk hates when he shuts him down, but he just genuinely cannot sit here and listen to a “worse version of dave talk like hes pretending to be rose. I just cant.i don’t have it in me.” 

I mean I think they’d be funny somewhat, but they would not be happy together at all it would be awkward as hell. Dirk needs someone to pull him out of his bullshit but John just won’t do that. He won’t consider it really that much. They could have funny moments, but the toxicity of their potential relationship sours most of it for me. Dirk is pretty fucking intense in a lot of ways, and hes prone to being a lot. 

the alpha kids in general are just way intense due to their fucking isolation whatever thety smoked in those years made them volatile like fucking potent like a chili peppers but thats words for another ramble.

John just isn’t able to match Dirk. He doesn't think enough, he's just going with the flow and dirk needs someone who can either match him on an intellectual level or someone who can match him in an interest way. John just wouldn’t take the relationship seriously enough, which would lead to Dirk trying to figure out something that isn’t there to really figure out. John matches well with someone who has known him for a while and doesn’t have a specific way they want things to go. 

[snek-panini]

Very belated Binderary books, uh...I've lost track actually. I think they are #6 and #7. And it's another two-volume split! This is (Slow) Burn, Baby, Burn by orchidlocked, an extremely long Good Omens fic set in the 1970s. It's about our favorite angel/demon pair navigating the disco scene, and it's not an AU, which is sort of usual in a fic this long and with such a specific premise. There are a fair few real people featured here, some as major characters, and a lot of music history and an excellent playlist alongside all the fun and angsty relationship stuff that so many of us are here for. I learned a lot about disco reading this fic and it was fascinating and also way more queer than I ever realized.

For the cover up there we have a white Allure book cloth on the spine, and white HTV over homemade book cloth for the main cover. The cloth pieces both come from the same sheet but I oriented the stripes this way so they'd be coordinated-but-not-matched and I really love the effect. They're also cotton and really nice to hold. It's funny, I was thinking of binding this fic when I found the fabric while digging through the Joann's remnant bin, and as soon as I saw it this fic not only came to mind but moved up to the top of the to-bind list. It was fate, clearly.

More photos under the cut!

Both spines and a top view. That's orange HTV for the titles. This it the first time I've worked with matte HTV (I usually use metallic or foil) and I was surprised at how much thinner it is, and how easy it was to stick. And I like the color inverse here in counterpoint to the front cover. The top view shows off the handmade endbands and bookmark, and also the rounding job. I'm still working on rounded spines, and the turn-in over the spine didn't come out as smooth as I'd have liked, but I think it's a good result. The ribbon bookmark was supposed to be blue to match the endbands, but every blue ribbon I could find clashed horribly with the cover so it's this nice leafy sage green. Which actually works really well with...

The endpapers! I got these as Joann's too. All four are cut from the same print, but I shifted and rotated them when I trimmed them so the patterns wouldn't all be in the same place. I had desperately wanted this other paper I found on Etsy with little vinyl records all over it, but the pieces weren't the right shape and I'd have had to ship them from overseas ($$), but I like the mood these ones set. And they're thick and nicely textured and look awesome with the cover, so really I think things worked out very well.

Couple of pics of the interior. I kept it fairly simple but I feel like it fits the story.

The scene break line is orange, to match the covers. I usually use gray but wanted something more fun. I recently bought some off-white paper that I used for most of my binderary projects this year because I've heard it's easier on the eyes, and it is, but I used the older bright white for this so the color contrast would be sharper. No complaints; I think it looks amazing. The second image above is the appendix I put together for the volume. Being so centered in the music industry, this fic has a really long playlist that the author put together with their preferred recordings. It's linked in the story and I did include the link text in the book, but I had my mind on preservation and the challenges of digital archiving while I was making this one, so I also took all the title/artist/album info and just listed it here. It was too much to do all by hand, so I learned how to export a Spotify playlist into an Excel doc, then moved that into the Word doc to print. A lot of steps, but not nearly as hard as I'd thought, and way less tedious.

I have to say this book is aesthetically really different than all my previous ones. I ran into so many design hurdles but I honestly couldn't be more pleased with the end result. I'll have to push my comfort zone like this more often, I guess.

[captainofthetidesbreath]

here's the reminder you asked for, why do you think colin being lucas fontina would be fun?? (i agree)

Note: This is as of the end of the first episode, and before the second.

Thank you, random citizen!

Now, when it comes to the question of "what is Colin's deal?", there's a LOT of possibilities. (I'm also very fond of the idea that he is Fontina's son and/or only living heir.) Some other possibilities are arguably more plausible than Colin being Lucas Fontina, but we're not here to talk about those other theories. We're here to talk about why it'd be fun if Colin was Lucas Fontina.

First, to establish who our man Lucas is. He is brought up when Colin looks at the cloth in his blackmail package. Matt narrates as follows:

It's a partially burned banner flag bearing a dotted mountain atop an island. This you do recognize as the banner of Fontina. Not since the failed coup of Lucas Fontina many decades ago has this banner been seen, a dark spot on the history of the isles, and a deep shadow that lingers at the edge of your hard-buried origins.

This is all we know about Fontina. It's not clear what the connection is between the coup and Colin. It's not clear what the timeline is relative to Colin's age or what the nature of the coup was (succession dispute, power grab by a non-ruling noble, military takeover, rebellion of the common people, etc.). All we know is the above: that Colin immediately and unquestionably recognizes it, the state of the banner and that it is Fontina's, that the coup failed but left a dark mark on history, and that the banner represents Colin's secret.

As I said at the beginning, there's a lot of possibilities. It's so open, and everything we know is vague. But, again, I (and anon) think the idea that Colin is Lucas Fontina living under an assumed identity is fun, so here's some of the why. (Some of these apply to other theories too!)

Fontina played the game—and lost! It'd position Colin as a foil to Tomaté and Amangeaux, as people who are jockeying for the throne of Greenhold and rule of Vegetania. In addition to that, the party has someone who is trying to maintain power in the government and someone who expects to one day come into power in the government. Colin being someone who has made his grab for it and failed would make him a great counterpoint, and it'd be interesting to have the perspective of someone who has been here before.

I'd generally be interested in hearing about how his perspectives on politics, power, and the game have changed over time (or haven't!) as someone who has vied for power and failed. It's also an interesting layer on top of the idea that Colin is currently positioned as someone who isn't influential or powerful; it'd be not only that, he made an attempt and lost a significant amount of the influence and power he had at one point. That's conceptually interesting in this group.

It'd be pretty great for Karna to say to Delissandro, "So when I say I don't know who the fuck you are, you should probably take that as, you know, you're not worth knowing yet," while Colin is directly standing next to Delissandro and is completely unrecognized by her as someone who has already made an indelible mark on the history of the Islands. Real learning moment for her.

I also think it'd be funny because of the HUGE gap between the idea of what kind of man Lucas Fontina is and the wet pathetic meow meow 6 Charisma that Colin is. It's very funny, but also I think it's very interesting the idea of the years and failure and depression and anxiety just shaving ten points off his Charisma. Real.

The actual motivations and logistics surrounding going into hiding and assuming an identity to separate yourself from the person you really are is always super compelling, and the specific circumstances that Lucas Fontina is apparently an infamous figure feels like rich ground for that question: how did you escape the eyes of history—and why?

[sokkastyles]

Hi,

Hope you are doing well. Thank you for the response on Azula.

One of the things that I have seen on TSR, which you have also re-blogged was about Katara watching her culture being wiped out because of the raids. It actually makes her a victim of genocide, just like Aang, because she is in essence the last Southern Waterbender, till Hama shows up in Book 3.

I get the feeling that Sokka, who wants a logical explanation for everything, did not understand that.

Do you think there should have an episode where he gets to understand how important waterbending is to Katara, similar in concept to the episode "Sokka's Master"? Or an episode where he learns to deal with the grief of his mother's death?

I would like your thoughts on this.

I sat on this ask for a bit thinking about it because I think you hit on something about the way the show portrays Katara's relationship with her cultural heritage in general that kinda bugs me. Waterbending is a big part of that heritage and is tied to spirituality in the atla universe. Sokka's dismissal of Katara's bending in the first episode as "freaky magic water" is related to the dichotomy the show sets up to characterize both Sokka and Katara and to introduce us to the atla world. Katara, who represents hope and the magic of this world, Sokka who represents logic and cynicism. There's also a gendering of values here. Sokka believes in logic and physical skills like hunting which are commonly associated with men, while Katara is linked to the spiritual through her bending, water being a common symbol for the feminine. Even waterbending itself is based on Tai Chi, a more feminine martial art (which makes it kind of funny that the North forbids female waterbenders from learning it.)

The show has Katara call out Sokka's misogyny on a shallow level, but a lot of the fandom exaggerates Sokka learning not to be so sexist, which isn't so much an arc as it is something that the show occasional calls out when it wants to. Sokka learns to respect Suki because he loves her, but he still makes sexist jokes and never becomes an advocate for women or anything like that. Even his learning about the spiritual side of water tribe culture happens through Yue and not his actual waterbending sister.

It is unfortunate that a lot of Katara's associations with waterbending as a part of her cultural heritage are negative. If I were to make a parallel to Sokka learning from Piandao, the obvious choice is Hama as someone Katara learns a lot from, but that learning is associated with trauma. Even Katara learning how to heal was traumatic and resulted in her getting burnt, and whenever she uses her healing it's in a dire situation. This is also a good counterpoint to those who say it's a good thing that Katara in LoK gave up fighting because she associated it with trauma. The moments when Katara uses her healing are not less traumatic.

Do you know what would have been interesting? More acknowledgment of the importance of waterbending both for spiritual purposes and practical ones. Remember when Katara tried to catch a fish with her waterbending in episode one? That seems like something that a community that relies so much on fishing should be more aware of, doesn't it? Why is hunting and fishing seen as something only men do, if that ability exists?

Give me also Katara learning how to create vast ice structures after visiting the north and bringing that knowledge back to her village. Imagine what they could accomplish with Katara's bending and Sokka's engineering knowledge combined.

[projectmoon-smash-or-pass]

propaganda:

✅️ "faust has that genius penis"

✅️ "autistic girl pussy goes CRAZY"

✅️ "Every time faust talks about something more cryptic or secretive and refused to explain/share for whatever reason the more I feel like that guy in the ayin image like PLEASE I WANT THE ANSWERS FAUST I NEED TO KNOW. but I would still smash"

❌ "yeah no better head than from an autistic gal but she'd probably say some shit like "hm yes we've been at this for seventeen minutes you're gonna blast right now" and utterly ruin it"

✅️ "i also hate making eye contact. we won't have to worry about it though because i will be latched onto her breasts and it will be yuriful. i want to hear her lose her composure also and then shower her in cuddles afterward"

❌️ "she would find a way to condescend about every part of the experience and make you feel like shit during and after"

❌️ "faust is so fucking annoying im sorry i cant stand her. pass"

✅️ "faust could vivisect me"

✅️ "It's me, #1 Faust Armpit Enjoyer on Twitter. I need Faust so badly its not even funny. I would sell my friend for Faust. I vote smash 200 times if i could"

✅️ "counterpoint to whoever said pass: there's a kink for that"

✅️ "Pretty woemnsbdhdbdbdbdhsh"

✅️ "Counterpoint here i saw that prompt and the thought of her saying that when you are about to cum felt kinda hot ngl"

✅️ "faust reminds me of my girlfriend. i love my girlfriend :)"

❌️ "would maintain eye contact the entire time during sex and also not react to anything you do and i think that would be really scary i couldn’t do it"

[hamzterstyle]

Poison in Every Puff

pairing: matt x afab reader

smut, smoking, burning partner with cigarette, oral (female receiving), pain play

summary: your boyfriend smokes, and you have a pain kink.

it’s the first time you’ve dated someone whose nicotine fix of choice is cigarettes. you watch as matt lights one beside you on the couch, drawing in a steady breath then exhaling quickly through one side of his mouth, the side opposite you, of course. it’s almost funny how he thinks that will stop the smoke from finding you. he listens as you continue your rant about cars on the freeway and the lack of turn signal education in schools. occasionally he chimes in with a relevant story of personal road rage victimization or an attempted counterpoint to your rambling. it eventually fizzles out to soft giggling and comfortable silence.

as matt continues to drag, a cloud fills the small apartment. the smell invades your senses, tobacco smoke lingering around your head. it’s not a bad smell. it’s familiar at this point, you relate it to matt. it’s almost comforting in that way. you eye matt’s right hand, taking sudden interest in the steadily burning cigarette. he ashes it in the small tray on the low table in front of your knees. curiosity overtakes you. before he can pull his hand back you lightly grab his arm. “hey, can i have that?” your sudden request catches matt off guard and his eyebrows raise slightly before furrowing. “you want my cigarette?” he looks honestly puzzled. you grin at his bewildered expression. sure, you’ve never been the smoking type, but it’s not like you’re asking to hit a crack pipe. you insist on stealing the little paper stick and matt finally hands it over. “ok, ok. knock yourself out, kid.” he flashes a condescending smile and stares amused at your face as you inhale.

immediately, the foreign feeling of smoke in your throat causes you to choke and start coughing like you’re hacking up a lung. matt cackles at your misfortune. “you’re supposed to inhale it,” he mocks. after stifling a final cough you defend yourself, “sorry i don’t have your chain smoking skills.” he chuckles again and steals the cigarette back out of your hand. you cross your arms in defiance and lean back into the cushion behind you. you glance over at matt, now bringing the cigarette back to his own lips. you don’t realize you’re staring until he catches your eyes and feigns annoyance, “what? don’t tell me you want it back.” you roll your eyes and lean forward, “no! i just… like watching you do it.” matt ashes again and asks in a bored tone, “you like watching me what? smoke? is that some kind of fetish?” you sigh and hurry to correct him, “it’s not a fetish. i just. it’s just nice being around you when you do it. i actually like the smell, you know.” he looks at you, scanning your face up and down once, not sure how to respond to that comment. you feel slightly judged but you keep talking, not quite sure where your own thoughts are going. “and yeah, you look kind of hot. it’s kind of hot ok?”

matt gives a brief blank look before grinning into his words, “so what you’re saying is you wanna suck me off.” you groan dramatically and slump your shoulders in disbelief. “i’m serious!” matt shrugs and matches your tone “i’m serious too!” frustrated by your own confusing desire, you say the first thing that comes to mind, “i want you to burn me.”

matt halts all movement, like a stunned animal. he positions his body towards you so the both of you are more face to face. his tone is serious with a tinge of something else, something darker than usual. “is that really what you want?” the intense eye contact makes your face heat up and you feel yourself getting excited. you nod and hear your own voice come out shakily, “yeah.” matt looks you over one more time then reaches for you. “come here.” he takes your hands and guides you to your feet. you’re now standing in front of him as he remains seated on the couch, his face inches from your chest. “lift your shirt,” he instructs and you pull up the fabric to expose your stomach. matt meets your eyes one more time to make sure you want this. you bite your lip in anticipation and give him a small nod. he holds the lit cigarette in his fingers, pinching the filter like a dart. quickly, he presses the burning end into your skin, right under your left rib. in a matter of milliseconds you feel the overwhelming sensation of fire and let out a pained yelp. matt instantly pulls the cigarette away and puts his free hand on your hip to hold you in place. “are you ok?” you force open your squeezed eyes and look down at the site of the burn. there on your belly is a small red circle of raised skin, sure to leave a scar that won’t fade for several months. you take a deep breath and respond. “yeah, i’m ok... that was fun.”

you stare down the new sore spot, assessing the damage. matt looks up at you. “fun? you liked that?” his voice is soft and low, the way it gets when he touches your most sensitive places. when he talks you through new things. you can’t help but smile at him as you answer, “do it again. i think i like when you hurt me.” you see his expression shift as he processes your words. his eyes darken, still locked with your own. you recognize that expression; it’s one of desire, determination. you feel your heart flutter. matt tugs at the bottom of your shirt and tells you, “take this off.” you do and he runs a finger over the burn he created, making you hiss and flinch away from his touch. for a moment he looks concerned, like he wants to apologize. but he remains silent and returns to his focused gaze as his he moves his hand up your sternum, searching for a new canvas of skin. he seems to decide against his initial plan and works his hand back down past your hip, hooking his fingers in the waistband of your shorts. he pulls one side down just a couple inches, revealing your hip bone. he holds the fabric down with one hand and brings his other hand closer, this time briefly hesitating before pushing the cigarette into your skin one more time. he holds it there longer – no more than a couple seconds, but long enough to make you swat at his arm and beg “stop stop stop”. this time, when he pulls the cigarette away, the sudden absence of the burning is a huge relief. you giggle involuntarily as you recuperate from the short intense pain. matt gives you a moment to settle down then lightly touches the backs of your thighs to signal for you to move forward closer to him.

he’s stuck the cigarette in the ash tray and now focuses completely on you. he brushes his hand over your stomach again, rubbing two fingers back and forth across the first burn, like he’s admiring his work. he mumbles as he continues to stare at it, “goddamn.” his hands slip lower and he pulls your shorts down past your knees. prompting you to step out of them. above the waist band of your underwear he traces over the second raised circle with his thumb. then he presses into it. you gasp with pain. hearing your reaction, he removes the pressure. neither of you say a word. you just stare at each other, basking in the growing tension. matt presses his thumb into the sore spot again, watching your face as you wince. he seems to get some kind of satisfaction from your reaction because he presses a third time, digging in his thumb and holding it there. you try to look at him as your brain fogs with pain. his green eyes pierce you, captivated with your scrunched face. at last, he pulls his thumb away. before you can process the relief matt’s mouth is on your hip, tongue gliding over the agitated scar. he slowly licks at it, attempting to soothe the sore. you let out a barely audible whimper at the feeling of his tongue on your skin. he drags it down your hip, over your waist band, and ends with a kiss on the top of your thigh. he’s teasing you now. with his nose still touching your skin, you thread your fingers in his hair. “please,” you beg, “eat me out.”

he presses another kiss into your thigh. he talks quietly, almost whispering, “so good for me.” you relax your grip on his short curls and he moves his attention to your mound, still covered by the thin fabric of your panties. he places a kiss there then moves his head even lower to lick a stripe over your clothed clit. you moan.

matt sits up and finally pulls your panties off. he impulsively touches you with his index finger, playing with your pussy a little bit before swinging his legs up onto the couch and laying down on his back. he grabs your hand and pulls you over, “come here baby.” you climb on top of him and straddle his shoulders, your crotch hovering over his face.

you can tell how bad he wants it. you don’t even have to see his hard on, you can see it in his face. his dilated pupils, wide eyes, open mouth almost salivating. you look down at him waiting for a cue. he wastes no time giving you one. “that’s right baby, sit on my face.” you obey and lower yourself onto his mouth. you feel his tongue attack your core, lapping haphazardly at your folds like he can’t get enough of the taste. your breath hitches and you struggle to catch it again. matt moves between licking and pointing his tongue to try to shove it in your hole. when he moves down slightly to get more of his tongue inside, his nose presses into your clit. you whine wantonly and grind down on his face. you hear him make a muffled noise as you rest more of your weight on him. you smother him, greedy for more pleasure. eventually he taps on your thighs, signaling for you to lift up a little. you lift yourself slightly off his face and let him catch his breath. all you hear is “fuck” and then he’s latching himself back onto you. he cups his mouth around your pussy creating suction and licks at your clit again. you lose yourself in the pleasure. moans escape your throat as your thighs become too shaky to hold yourself up. matt attaches his lips to your clit and sucks. your legs give out and you once again rest your full weight on his face. he wraps his arms around your thighs and holds you in place. he keeps sucking and you feel your orgasm build. you cry out to him “fuck! matt… i’m gonna cum!” you start grinding on him again subconsciously and he doesn’t let up. you moan loudly as you reach your peak. all at once, you’re body is flooded with pure bliss. your hips stutter and you focus on the feeling.

you grind down a few more times as your orgasm fades, and soon matt’s mouth becomes too much. you try to move away out of his grasp and moan a staccato “ah ah ah” to make him stop. he gets the hint and lets go of you, allowing you to scoot back and sit on his lap. you feel his hard cock through his pants poke against your ass. he props himself up on his elbows. his face is covered in spit and clear cum, eyes still glazed with arousal. he smiles.

[eff-plays]

Ok I have a short break between schoolwork and I have more Astarion discourse thoughts but they're kinda mid so don't get your panties in a twist!

I've seen the defense that "if you don't say anything bad to Ascended Astarion, if you don't disagree, then it's all fine and good! Yes the options are there but as long as I my Tav doesn't pick them, which they canonically don't, then it's all good!"

And I have yet to see the obvious counterpoint of like. Gorl. Walking on eggshells and watching your language and words around your partner to make sure they don't get upset, managing their emotions and moods constantly so they don't tighten the noose ... That's still an abusive relationship babes. It's so funny to me how that's like a defense that people think is rock-solid, and how people refute it with some video game canon theories (which is fair, but also entirely a waste of your precious time on this earth), when the naked truth is that if you have to do this, then you're in an abusive relationship by definition lol.

Anyway. Whatevs lmao. Do what you want forever and it's all fiction and blah blah blah but don't be annoying about it.

[dujour13]

OC Mannerisms

Doing @the-raging-tempest’s OC mannerisms meme for Siavash! Thanks Dolly, great idea 💕 Template here

Art by @iwoszareba for that look

- NO. OF SPOKEN LANGUAGES >> Taldane, basic Kelish, a little Elven

- TONE OF VOICE >> average / tenor

- ACCENT >> Andoren

At first when I created him I heard a slight BBC English accent in my head, but now it tends more toward a mild, West Coast-type American accent with softer “r” sounds. In international schools where I live there’s this universal international school kid accent you could easily mistake for American – that’s the one.

(Andoren has a revolutionary war US vibe but its geography is like Provence, and Almas in particular is highly cosmopolitan, so this feels fitting.)

- DEMEANOR >> confident, friendly and approachable

- POSTURE >> relaxed

HABITS

Touchy-feely – puts a hand on your arm or leans his shoulder against yours while you talk. (He’s good at picking up signals so he won’t do that to people who are uncomfortable with it.)

Lots of eye contact. He’s searching for what’s good in your soul. And has the confidence to meet your gaze and draw you in.

COMPLEXITY (Fill in the circles as you wish)

- VOCABULARY >> ⚪️⚪️⚪️⚫️⚪️

Siavash was a C student but he has a degree in International Relations and is a trained diplomat.

- EMOTION >> ⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️⚫️

Sia is very emotive but also capable of disguising it when he wants to. Paradoxically part of his high cha score is his sincerity, and the other part is his willingness to manipulate people.

Siavash raised an eyebrow. There was that conspiratorial gleam again. “I wouldn’t call it that. I don’t manipulate people. I just get them to reconsider what’s in their best interest.” “Ha! Just like me. I don’t steal; I just encourage people to help all the poor, helpless tieflings of the world. Starting with me.”

- SENTENCE STRUCTURE >> ⚪️⚪️⚪️⚫️⚪

Again he’s educated enough to have good grammar and to employ it when making heroic speeches or writing letters, but his relaxed style of speaking is very informal.

Woljif asks him what he does with his money:

“Spend it,” Siavash said with a carefree smile. “Wine, good food, nice clothes, new guitar strings. More oranges, if I’m lucky. Don’t need much more than that and the wind at my back.”

PROFANITY

- FREQUENCY >> ⚪️⚫️⚪️⚪️⚪️

Not often but when he says it he means it.

Woljif laughed softly. “I think we’re compatible, chief.” “Compatible? We’re fucking amazing together.”

- CREATIVITY (in regards to profanity) >> ⚪️⚪️⚫️⚪️⚪️

Here’s where my own limitations are the problem. He’s my funny creative character. He works in the funny creative factory.

BOLD THAT APPLY

arse / ass / asshole / bastard / bitch / bloody / bugger / bollocks / chicken shit / crap / cunt / dick / frick / fuck / horseshit / motherfucker / piss / prick / pussy / screw / shit / shitass / son of a bitch / twat / wanker

THIS OR THAT

straightforward or cryptic?

finding the right word or using the first word that comes to mind?

masculinity, neutrality, or femininity?

formalities or with abrasiveness?

praise or equivocation? Yes

frankness or flattery? Yes

excessive or minimal hand gestures? Handsy

name-calling or magnanimity?

friendly or blunt

IMPORTANT QUESTIONS

- DO PEOPLE HAVE A HARD TIME HEARING OR UNDERSTANDING YOUR CHARACTER?

Never – as a bard Siavash can modulate his voice effectively.

- DOES YOUR CHARACTER’S POINT COME ACROSS EASILY WHEN THEY SPEAK?

Frequently; he's a good communicator

- WOULD YOUR CHARACTER INITIATE CONVERSATIONS?

Almost always

- WOULD YOUR CHARACTER BE THE ONE TO END CONVERSATIONS?

Rarely

- WOULD YOUR CHARACTER USE ‘WHOM’ IN A SENTENCE?

Yes - he does have pretty good grammar and can pass it off naturally

- YOUR CHARACTER WANTS TO MAKE A COUNTERPOINT. WHAT WORD DO THEY USE?

but / though / although / however / perhaps / maybe

- HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER END CONVERSATIONS? 

He doesn’t / gets distracted by something else

- WHAT SOCIAL CLASS WOULD OTHERS ASSUME YOUR CHARACTER BELONGS TO, HEARING THEM SPEAK?

Middle

- IN WHAT WAYS DOES THE WAY YOUR CHARACTER SPEAK STAND OUT TO OTHERS?

A friendly, inviting tone; smooth with people even if he has something unpleasant to communicate; infectious laugh

ANYTHING ELSE THAT WASN’T TOUCHED ON?

Siavash is a Persian name meaning “he who rides a dark horse.” There’s a Prince Siavash in the Shahnameh.

The pronunciation is more like two syllables than three: sya-vash, not see-ah-vash. Accent on both syllables. Thus the short form Sia is one syllable: sya.

(In the real Persian pronunciation it’s see-ah-VASH but the ee-ah sounds kind of bleed together to sound like one syllable.)

Tagging no pressure @dmagedgoods, @arendaes, @undyingembers, @silversiren1101, @spyridonya

[maxwell-grant]

Hello! While speaking with my friend about a concept for a silly little vampire story a question naturally arose; "Why do vampires, of all monsters, lend themselves so well towards humor?"

Hope you have a wonderfully spooky October!

Well hope you have a wonderful October as well!

Honestly I think all monsters lend themselves to humor in ways that haven't been fully tapped into, but I think vampires have that extra edge mainly because the main things that define them (needs to feed on others for sustenance, can't go out in the sunlight, immortal but can be killed in specific ways) are Rules. Rules and structure and consistency are things that you need to build a set-up, because you can't have a punchline without a set-up. Other monsters are more loosely defined, or have only a couple of rules that can usually be ignored, but you can't ignore the basic specifics of vampirism the same way. You can have a werewolf who doesn't turn on a full moon or due to weird birth circumstances related to the number 7, but you need to address the feeding aspect, or you don't have a vampire.

And the counterpoint to that is that vampires, while obviously they have aesthetic signifiers and tropes and Dracula-isms that people go to in defining them, are nowhere near as bound to their aesthetic traits as other kinds of monsters, so you can make anything and everything a vampire so long as you establish that parasitic aspect and the rules. If want to make your characters specific kinds of monsters you generally have to include the aesthetic signifiers that define them: Frankensteins generally need to be some kind of stitched-up corpse and/or giant, mummies need to have the wrappings or the lore, zombies need to cadaverous undead, werewolves need to be some kind of horrible animal (not necessarilly a wolf - Brazilian werewolves are commonly said to be more akin to pigs and boars, for example), but vampires?

If it's a parasitic monster that needs to feed on something otherwise it dies, and that something isn't just regular food, pretty much anything you do with them is fair game. The more out there you go with it, usually the better.

And because they're among the most popular unambiguous kind of monster (skeletons, witches, ghosts and aliens are there still but all sorta morphed into their own things overtime, vampires you still find at the forefront of every Halloween pack), everyone is familiar with what those rules are on the baseline, which means you have a much, much easier time doing jokes about the specifics of vampires than with any other kind of monster, and so it becomes more necessary to focus on specifics of the vampire's personality to make them stand out. Generally speaking, a Frankenstein is a type of character, a werewolf is half of a character when not in frenzied bloodlust, a ghost can be one or several characters, a zombie used to be a character, but a vampire needs to be a character, if you're not doing a Dracula pastiche (and even then) you can't bank on the shorthand as easily. It's a very competitive field.

Everybody knows the specifics of how vampires work, and so you get to play them straight or subvert them for comedy, and even make up new kinds of vampires out of twisting the premise around. A lot of what makes Colin Robinson from What We Do In The Shadows so funny is that, placed opposite a cast of fairly traditional vampires as somehow the most mundane personality as well as the weirdest freak among them, they can and do just constantly make up new shit about the way his existence and powers and biology works and get away with it, and constantly set you up for surprises more so than with the others. And they even still kinda do that for the others. All vampire media needs to place it's characters across a spectrum of possibilities.

Doesn't show up in mirrors, can't cross running water, needs to be invited into places, needs to stop and count marbles, needs to sleep in coffins, needs ancestral soil within said coffins to sleep in, etc. Needs to feed their blood to victims to reproduce, or actually doesn't need to do that. Can go centuries without a sip, or needs to kill a person every day to not die, or can just feed on cattle / the color red / other fluids. Can walk in the sun but weakened, can walk in the sun unbothered, can walk in the sun with careful skincare routines made from human sweat, instantly desintegrates if they play the desert level in a videogame, and so on.

Once you get past the baseline, you actually can get a lot more out of just piling up both weird new powers you never have to explain, as well as bullshit rules and specifics atop each other, because that's just how Vampire Lore works, and naturally each and everyone of those can be squeezed for comedy as well as horror. It's that old adage about how horror is comedy without the punchline and both need a dramatic investment into the set-up of how it works, before it can be torn down dramatically or comedically.

To be clear, I think this is something you can and should do more or less with all kinds of monster characters, but the thing is that, most of the others you do need you to go the extra mile and define them, what defines them, what if any are the rules and standards and limitations they live with. With ghosts and mummies and bugbears you do need to tug a bit at the concept and ask questions and walk your audience through some of those questions to get somewhere more than surface/aesthetic-based gags with them, where as with vampires, you can kinda skip a lot of that and just get to work pulling comedy out of the basic set-up and then subverting that.

Because yes, vampires live by codes and structures and rules, but there's also nothing we like more than telling those to get stuffed so we can do whatever we want. You need something to rebel against in order to rebel at all.

[spicybylerpolls]

I don't believe in foah but i do believe in crush culture, especially when it comes to famous people that have a limited dating pool due to their "status as celebs that get creepily irl stalked" (this has happened to an underaged finn and noah before - the noah one even captured on camera that can be found on tiktok during the pandemic quarantine while in the finn one he tells bill hader in an interview about being stalked by a grown man all the way to his house almost that had the audacity to shoulder checked him to get finn's attn). in a vid complitation of finn and noah friendship, it's clear that finn goes out of his way to include noah during s2 promo since will wasnt well known in s1 and there's an old article out there about the 1st time they met during st casting call.

apparently finn tells the interviewer of the article how when casting was officially done, he highlights how when he met noah again as a co-actor that noah forgot about him lol. noah didn't remember finn from the audition but finn remembered noah. finn also said that he was shocked/excited that the voice of charlie brown (noah) was here while noah couldn't recall anything finn's been in. So, to me, when reading that article it felt like finn cared about noah in the beginning as a crush of admiration like "crushing cuz i wanna be successful like this kid already". and finn expressed in another interview how he's afraid to be a washedup child star while playing in both IT and st.

so imo foah is more about the two acknowledging the other's talent, especially since they both tried out for each other's st role (finn went for mike and will same as noah). if anything I thought finn had a crush on caleb cuz multiple instances on vid where finn gushes about caleb's acting skill (when caleb did an excellent billy roleplay during a guess who that character is game and in the s2 promo vid where finn compliments caleb A LOT compared to the other actors, while caleb only complimented gaten but that could be just the netflix editing team cutting n splicing, comment did poke fun at how finn hyped up caleb and how caleb didnt mention finn at all). in one early vid finn had to get caleb to hug him cuz caleb only hugged gaten in greeting as those two met previously on broadway cuz they had a longer history. caleb was going for a handshake/dap but finn had his arms open for a hug like how gaten got one right before finn was noticed by caleb. and in the same interview where finn told how noah forgot they had met already, finn describes caleb as cool and funny from the 1st time he saw him during casting calls. But again that can just be finn being mesmerized by all the talent his peers possess since he is passionate about his craft.

Yeah, these are all valid counterpoints! It's interesting no one has ever really shipped Faleb... or Faten? (I don't know what their ship names would be). But that's maybe partially because people have always subconsciously seen them as straight while subconsciously seeing Finn "his eyes soften" Wolfhard as queer? And also because Finn does seem to be especially close with Noah compared to the others?

Hmm, I've never thought of the idea of Finn having had a crush on Caleb before, but that's an interesting concept. I do think "Foah" could possibly be more about the two acknowledging each other's talent, but who knows? Maybe it's both lol. (And nonny, now you got crush culture by conan gray stuck in my head).