#cullanistair

[darlingrutherford]

Whaaaaat? Me thinking about Cullen doing some solo-training, curls loose from the sweat and wind, shirt loose, him panting but never ceasing well-practised movements with his sword while Lana and Alistair watch from afar and are definitely wanting a piece of that? I would never 😏

Oh. Oooooh. 👀😏

Yeah, they would.... Definitely watch that. They wouldn't be too obvious about it at first, mostly because they know how shy Cullen is and they wouldn't want to embarrass him too much. They'd probably be watching from ramparts from above as he trained in that small area Bull and Cassandra hang out in. Y'know, probably trying to find a spot without many people watching since training down the hill around the troops usually calls more attention than wanted. Cullen probably goes to this spot when he's trying to work some stuff out, just by himself, and most people know that and know to just leave him be unless needed.

But nope. Wardens leering from above. Shifting their stances when Cullen loosens his shirt because he's getting all hot (in more ways than one). Lana's feet aren't on the ground anymore because she's got both hands on the parapet by now, leaning much further over it than she realizes she is, and all because at one point Cullen's shirt slips a bit to show more of his shoulder. Part of her wants to pop down there and help him tie the string on his shirt in a way that will help him keep it loose but also keep it more steadily on him during training, but another part of her just wants him to get frustrated with it and take it off. A girl can dream, right?

Alistair at some point nudges Lana and teasingly ask if he should go down and challenge Cullen to some duels. Yknow, for training purposes 😏 Which, of course, Lana says, "Yes!" A little too quickly and enthusiastically and loudly. And Cullen pauses at the noise, looking up and finding Lana slinking halfway down the parapet, shyly lifting her hand as a half-wave and half-apology for the outburst as Alistair gleefully waves as well. See, Lana knows that Alistair will remove his shirt first if they're sparring. And once one of them removes it... The other is sure to follow 😏❤️

[jellysharkbat]

@darlingrutherford

Thought came to me after I sent you that video. Btw, this is a completely unrelated modern au.

So let’s say Cullen meets Lana and Alistair and they become ‘friends’. Maybe it started as genuine friendship and evolves into more, or maybe they met somewhere (like a club) and agreed for a one time thing but keep bumping into each other.

Either way, cullanistair is a go.

They start spending a lot of time together. During this time, they find out that Cullen has a kid. He decides to introduce them to Lana and Alistair as ‘his friends’. 

The kid seems okay with that. Maybe a bit suspicious, but honestly that’s just because it’s just been them and Cullen for so long, and Cullen’s not a social butterfly to begin with. But for the most part, they just shrug their shoulders and don’t seem to think too much about it. As long as they don’t pick on Cullen or uninstall their games on xbox, it’s cool.

Lana and Alistair do bond with Cullen’s kid (much to Cullen’s relief)- like helping with homework, working out a bit (or more like helping Alistair and Lana work out), or just being there if they need to vent about Cullen because seriously Dad, you just had to say that in front of my friends?? Andraste’s tits! 😠

That kind of thing. But they never let on about the um...true nature of their friendship. Children definitely don’t need to know anything about that! Unlike me, I need all the details hehe

Then one day, the kid is at Lana and Alistair’s place. Maybe they’re playing a video game, maybe they’re watching a movie. But the kid stops whatever it is they’re doing and suddenly turns to Alistair and Lana and says oh so casually:

“So are you going to marry my dad?”

The room doesn’t just go quiet. Silence kicks the door down, slams itself into everyone and starts beating the shit out of them with tuna.

“Uh... what?” Alistair sounds like he’s suddenly being strangled and Lana looks like she’s somewhere between horrified and embarrassed.

Cullen’s kid has zero problems with ignoring the sudden tension and repeats their question: “are you going to marry my dad?”

“Wh- what makes you say that, sweetie?” Lana asks, finding her voice.

“Well, my friends wanna go see the Magisters in concert this summer but if you’re gonna marry my dad then there’s gonna be a big party and stuff, right? I just want to make sure you don’t marry him when the Magisters are playing.”

Alistair and Lana give each other a look, and both of them are wondering if maybe they ate something weird or hit their head or something because...what?

“We aren’t going to marry Cul- uh, your dad.” Alistair says slowly. “That’d be...well I mean, your dad is a really good friend and people don’t marry their friends out of the blue like that, right dear? ahahaha..”

“Why not? You both love him, don’t you?”

They must have hit their heads. Maybe some darkspawn jumped through the window and attacked them and this was their dying hallucinations.

“Um. Well, yes. As friends.” Lana says nervously. She maybe stresses the friends bit just a little too much.

The kid just looks at her weirdly. Then they seem to think of something and sigh. Dramatically. Like the world settled on their shoulders and they were burdened with 12 magical tasks to complete before some ancient god destroys the world.

“I already know that you’re dating him,” they say patiently, if a bit exasperated. Honestly, they’re looking at the two of them like they’re a bit stupid. “Look, just don’t marry dad during the concert, okay?”

Then they get up, and leave the room. Lana and Alistair are pretty sure they hear Cullen’s kid mutter “adults” under their breath in a slightly disgusted tone.

They leave behind two very stunned adults.

Also Cullen doesn’t know that his child, the light of his world who very much has him wrapped around their little finger, knows. He hasn’t been sure how to sit them down and tell them that he’s been in a relationship with two other people so he hadn’t said anything at all. He’s going to be very surprised later on when Lana calls him at work.

And that’s why Cullen owes his work a new coffee machine to replace the one he busted! 😃😃😃

[darlingrutherford]

Since I'm thinking about that Rutherford snacc now...Lana and Alistair get to Skyhold earlier than planned, maybe to beat some bad weather. Therefore there's not many people there to greet them, which is fine, but they are a little disappointed (not surprised tho) to see that Cullen isn't among their small welcoming party. So they quickly get settled in before setting off to find him. A few helpful directions later, and they're walking into his tower. It's empty except for Cullen scribbling away at something, maybe massaging his temple at the same time. Alistair subtly locks one door before motioning for Lana to do the same. Cullen still hasn't noticed them, even as the third lock slides into place. They saunter up towards him, and maybe Alistair reaches over to push the papers away while Lana very neatly plants herself on the desk instead. They get to watch as the intital annoyance and anger quickly melt into confusion and surprise. It's been a long journey to Skyhold and that Warden appetite needs satisfying. They hungry. 😉😂

Ooooohhhhh Maker yes 😍

(spicy warning ahoy 🤣)

Cullen gets so wrapped up in his work it's definitely not out of the ordinary for people to be able to just walk through his office without him noticing. Subconsciously he recognizes people out of his periferals, and his brain just goes, "Friend, not foe" and goes back to work 😂

Alistair absolutely just. Shoves all the papers off the desk at once without a word. There's definitely a momentary outburst from Cullen, frustrated that ink was still drying on one report he had been scribbling on, all the things he'll have to reorganize now that they're shuffled on the floor. And yes, his angry furrowed brows slowly easing as his brain puts together that it's not normal for Alistair and Lana to be there, that she is in fact sliding gracefully to sit in front of him on the desk, that neither of them are in their armor, which means they've been there long enough to settle into a room and change.

With Lana planted on the desk in front of him, she's able to distract quite easily. Cullen tries to talk despite her pulling him down by his mantle to kiss her. He mumbles between kisses, sighing between half spoken words as he tries to find out when they arrived, why they didn't send word they'd be early, all the while Alistair answers his questions with not helpful "mmmhm" sounds while casually undoing all the annoying buckles on Cullen's armor.

"When - did you-"

"Mmmmhm."

"Could have - sent a -"

"Mhhhhhm..."

Lana's already pulled off his gloves, and as Cullen slides his hands up under the hem of the dress she's wearing he's more than ecstatic to find that she's not wearing anything beneath it. Cullen's always known the two wardens to be eager people - handsy, even - and it's moments like this he appreciates it the most. He's so comfortable with them by now, so used to their antics and habit of ensuring he gets breaks from his work that he barely blinks an eye when Alistair casually takes the waistline of Cullen's trousers and pulls them down.

First, Cullen slips inside Lana, fully finished with his questions, everything else gone from his mind, and everything else that could have crept up miles away when Alistair is in him. And it's almost too much for Cullen to handle. It's all he can do to hold out after so long of an absence of the both of them, to not moan loud enough to call attention to them all around Skyhold. Filling, and being filled, bristly kisses at the back of his neck as he kisses her, until she's on her back with Cullen hunched over on top of her, Alistair pressed heavily on top of him with one hand on his hip and one on the edge of the desk until they're all shaking and sighing and just so alive in their shared bliss.

Cullen will grumble about his scattered papers later, when all is said and done. And they'll just have to find more ways to make him forget about it all ;)

[darlingrutherford]

My brain: Lana being Inquisitor requires a lot of thought. There are a lot of things that go down with an unseasoned Inqy that she probably wouldn't stand for after already being Warden-Commander of Ferelden for so long - Blackwall masquerading as a Warden for one on the long list. I should probably start taking a lot of the DAI timeline into account.

Also my brain: ok but how soon after she reunites with Alistair is Cullen gonna bone them

[darlingrutherford]

I think you seem very nice, Cullen, and I wonder whether you've found anything enjoyable about being a vampire... please don't grump...

Cullen is audibly protesting as Alistair grabs his book out of his hands before roughly pulling him off of his chair and dragging him over to the chaise. Alistair, with a smile, shoves him to sit next to Lana before plopping down on the other side of him. Cullen crosses his arms indignantly.

Cullen: I am not grumping. I simply do not see the purpose of this -

Alistair: It's Halloween, Cullen. What's the matter? No holiday fun back in your day?

Cullen: We had plenty of fun.

Alistair: Vampire ball gatherings don't count.

Cullen: I wasn't counting them.

Alistair: Are you grumpy because we woke you up early?

Cullen: No, that's - that's not why I'm - I am not being grumpy!

Alistair nods his head as Lana places her hand over her mouth to suppress her quiet laughing. Cullen sighs as he grabs the paper out of Alistair's hand and rereads the question.

Cullen: I find my work enjoyable - For those unaware, the Inquisition upholds laws regarding vampire interaction with non-vampires. We ensure that no one is going around draining mortals for one thing, despite what the stories tell.

Alistair: Ah, yes, important one, that.

Cullen: It would not exactly be prudent to have war break out between our kind, no. There is a delicate balance to things, and we ensure it stays that way.

Alistair: So... That's what you find enjoyable? The only thing?

Cullen: Of course there are other things.

Alistair: Of course.

Alistair and Cullen side eye one another for a moment, as if Alistair is trying to trick him into saying more. A silence passes, before Alistair adds,

Alistair: Cullen also enjoys flexing around vampires when Lana is around.

Cullen: Alistair!

Alistair: Oh admit it, you get off on having a mortal to protect when there are untrustworthies around.

Cullen: I don't - I will not -

Alistair: He does. He loves it. Practically stalks around her like a mother bear protecting someone else's cub.

Cullen: A what?!

Alistair looks quite smug at Cullen's sudden fluster as he grabs the next question.

Vampire!AU Lana, Alistair, and (maybe) Cullen (if you're lucky) are answering asks! Send one in!

[darlingrutherford]

With Alistair's strength, the sex must be fantastic. 😏

Lana doesn't say anything at first. The tips of her ears flush as she bites her lip, shifting where she sits as if the very mention of it has brought a rush of memories back. Alistair coughs and chuckles at the same time, sheepishly scratching just behind his ear.

Lana: It, um... I don't have much to - to compare it to, that is - before Alistair, I didn't - um...

Alistair: I'm actually not sure how much of it is supernatural effect and how much of it is just you being so cute and small.

Lana: What do you mean?

Alistair: Well, your head barely reaches my chest when we're standing. You're not exactly the tallest elf in Thedas -

Lana laughs and nudges Alistair with her elbow.

Lana: No, I meant - you don't use your unusual strength with me? I always thought you did.

Alistair: Maybe a little when picking you up - but, like I said, that was already bound to be easy.

Lana: I always assumed - it's just... You um... Always manage to find creative... Um... Things to do and how to get there and it.. um... Well it's quite good.

Alistair sheepishly chuckles again.

Alistair: I kind of gauged my use of strength with you on the noises you make, how loud you are... Do you want me to um... Try a bit more?

The color in Lana's face seems to spread to her neck, fully covering any visible skin at this point.

Lana: That, um, could be fun.

Alistair clears his throat loudly, suddenly looking over to the corner.

Alistair: I hear a lack of page turning over there, Cullen. Suddenly interested in the subject?

Cullen: What - I - Maker, no, I mean, yes, I mean - next question!

Vampire!AU Lana, Alistair, and (maybe) Cullen (if you're lucky) are answering asks! Send one in!

[darlingrutherford]

Back in October, I received an ask about Lana and Alistair sharing Cullen, which prompted me to think about what circumstances would have to happen in order for that to work in my DA canon. I started thinking about it deeply, which has turned into a lot of posts and, in November, I started working on the story version of how that would play out (or, rather, what would spark that first spicy encounter between Lana and Cullen, which could make way for more spicy encounters). I hit a rather big writer’s block on it (like most of my writing, thanks CFS) and was stuck writing a line here or there every week or so, but all this talk recently with @jellysharkbat​ about Cullanistair sparked something in my brain and I finally FINISHED IT. 

This ended up being way longer than I had originally planned lmao. So, I’m uploading to Ao3 as well if you’d rather read on there since they format a bit better than Tumblr. Enjoy!!

Healing | Cross-posted on Ao3 | Alistair Theirin/Lana Surana/Cullen Rutherford | DA:I | Explicit - trauma, PTSD, referenced non-con, sex | 18+ only, please!

     “You look exhausted.” 

The words flowed from her tongue easily enough. The past few months that she and Alistair had been at Skyhold putting together the pieces for the cure had found her and Cullen becoming even more comfortable around one another than back when she was a mage at Kinloch. As such, Lana hadn’t been expecting the almost put off glance from Cullen as his eyebrow quirked at her accusation, and her eyes widened as she quickly followed up her comment, silently wishing she could suck the words back in. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean - It’s just, you seemed like you were almost falling asleep there for a moment.”

Cullen sighed as his expression relaxed in understanding. He leaned back in his chair, his eyes returning to the chess board in front of them before his hand quickly dragged against his face in an attempt to wake up.

“My apologies,” he said. He leaned forward, moving one of his templars on the board to take her pawn. “I have not been sleeping well these past few nights.” 

“Is it the withdrawals still?” Lana asked. She kept her voice down when she asked the question, knowing full well that Cullen still had yet to make it known to many that his withdrawals were apt to keep him up at night. The corner of Cullen’s mouth quirked in a short lived smile as Lana pondered her move. 

“Those have not been as frequent as they once were, thankfully.” He paused as he contemplated his next words, the silence between them filled by the sound of crows as they flew above to Leliana’s tower. When he finally spoke, he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I wake up more often, because of the memories.”

Lana nodded in silent understanding. She knew well what Cullen was referring to: of Kinloch, of the torture he had endured for days before she, Alistair, and their friends had rescued him and the few left alive by Uldred and the other blood mages who had taken over the Circle Tower. He had uncomfortably explained it to her weeks after she and Alistair had arrived at Skyhold together months ago, something he couldn’t have avoided when the initial sight of Lana had brought all those memories screaming back to him in his waking hours. Cullen had forced himself to make time for her, to help his mind realize the difference between her and the memory of the demon who used her image to torture him so many long years ago, but also for her. Lana’s guilt when he had eagerly left the room the first time had been clear as day, and Cullen knew she had no need to harbor it. Lana had saved his life, had protected the others he had so quickly wanted to condemn in his hysteria. She was not the same as the nightmares he so frequently experienced in his sleep. So they had spent time together ever since, talking through the past and making way towards the supportive friendship that had quickly grown between the two of them. 

“I still have nightmares from my childhood. Vivid ones, of the night my mother died.” Lana leaned forward, moving one of her rooks before sitting back. Her hand came up to tug at the end of her long braid, fingers pulling at the loose copper strands. “I used to have them every night, back when I was first taken to the templars. I went days without sleeping once, hoping that if I went long enough they’d never return.”

“I remember you being caught once after curfew, sitting in the hall,” Cullen said. A faint smile grew on his face as he looked at Lana when a laugh escaped her at the memory. “Knight-Commander Gregoir threatened to cut off your library access because of it, since you spent so many hours there, but First Enchanter Irving talked him out of it.”

“The only time I ever got caught,” she laughed. “The apprentices who slept near me would chastise me until I’d leave to calm down after one of them. I was too loud, apparently. They weren’t nightly by then, but they did occur every week at the least. They were still awful when I first left Kinloch for the Wardens. I’m grateful they’re not as frequent now. A couple times a month, perhaps.”

“What helped?” He wasn’t looking at the board at this point. His eyes were focused on Lana, watching her as she stared off at a nearby shrub as if it held all the answers in the world. 

“Time,” she finally said after a brief pause. “Time, and a lot of help. I blamed myself for my mother’s death. If I hadn’t come into my magic, she may still be… Well, but I know now that it wasn’t my fault. It took a long time for me to realize that, and I couldn’t have done it alone. That, and…”

Cullen waited for a response that didn’t come. Lana had closed her mouth, her cheeks turning pink. Cullen tilted his head, curiosity on his face.

“And… What?” He casually asked. 

“Well… I…. Had a trigger, for the memories when awake… Kind of like how they came back for you suddenly when you first saw me arrive. The nightmares were mostly in my sleep, but also, whenever I used magic… It was like I could hear her again in my head, screaming. The nightmares got worse the more darkspawn we came across, the more I had to fight. I hated my magic and what it represented.”

“I assume you no longer loathe it, if your dreams have calmed so much?” Cullen asked. Lana nodded her head quietly. She chewed on her lower lip as she returned her gaze to the board in front of them. Taking his cue, Cullen moved his templar once more. Truth be told, he was more focused on their conversation at that point than the game between them. “How did you accomplish that?”

“We… Alistair figured, if I used my magic and something good came out of it, that my reaction may change. I always used magic out of self defense, to kill darkspawn and such. He suggested that using magic for another person who would have a good reaction to it, that I would think of that instead of my mother by association. He’s a smart man. It definitely worked, the more we tried it.”

“That is fortunate that you had a way to disassociate from those memories,” Cullen said. “Healing magic can be very helpful, especially for those who fight darkspawn so often, I would assume.”

“It, well… Wasn’t all that we did.”

“I can’t imagine there are many other kinds of magic that wouldn’t be harmful to the recipient?” Cullen raised his gaze to look at Lana, noticing the pink that had spread to her ears as she cleared her throat.

“Alistair is… very receptive to it, if, um… You know, it’s controlled….”

“I see.” Cullen’s face had gone red the moment he realized what she meant. The two of them averted their gazes from the other, both intensely staring at the chess board as if their game had suddenly become just that more serious. They went through a few exchanged moves in silence, waiting for the awkwardness to tide over - as if it ever could - before Lana spoke again.

“Do you think this has helped you at all? Us, spending time like this together.”

“I haven’t had any feelings of those memories when I am around you in quite a while, so I would say, yes, it has helped considerably,” Cullen said. Lana seemed to visibly relax at his words as a warm smile grew on her face. 

“Is there anything else I could do to help redirect those memories?”

Cullen watched her as she moved her templar, taking his. The redness was returning to his face rapidly, well aware that she had no idea of the gritty details of the torture that involved her likeness. As Lana looked up and saw the almost shocked expression mixed with color on his face, her eyes widened again.

“Maker, I’m sorry, Cullen, I didn’t mean to make you think about it,” she said quickly in a mumble. “Do you want me to leave?”

“What? N - No, I… It’s, um…”

“I just, I know you said that a demon took the form of me. I don’t know what was said, what was done… Sometimes playing out a memory and changing the outcome, we’ve found it really helps me - Andraste silence me, I’m just making it worse, aren’t I?” 

Cullen swallowed, forcing his eyes back to the board as he tried to formulate what to say. Maker, what could he say in a situation like this? Cullen’s boyish crush on the young, red-headed circle mage was a memory long since passed. Of course she was still beautiful - more so now, if it was even possible - but he had moved on... Hadn’t he? Besides, she was with Warden Alistair, and quite happily by the looks of it. But still, for her to be suggesting without knowing what she was suggesting…

“It’s… It’s not that simple, unfortunately,” he stammered out.

“Are you afraid of what might happen? That I’ll hurt you?”

“What? No, I’m - I’m not afraid of you, it’s… Maker’s breath, I was tempted, tortured by your likeness, Lana. Touches, and - and, visions of so… so much more… You have no idea what you… what you’re offering, or how I will… how I would... ”

Their chess game was all but forgotten at this point. Cullen’s breathing had become heavy, his grip on the armrests of his chair tight. He had turned his gaze sharply to the side, staring at the stone wall beside them as he tried to hold back the emotions that threatened to break through his usually strong resolve. Lana sat there quietly across from him, sadness filling her as she watched Cullen all but break in front of her, like a teacup slowly hitting the hard ground. Minutes went by and, once Cullen had allowed a few heavy breaths to sigh from him and the color had calmed in his cheeks, Lana finally spoke.

“What if we tried?” She asked. Cullen looked at her incredulously, and she smiled softly. “Nothing has to happen. A completely safe environment. We wouldn’t do anything more than you felt comfortable doing. You would be in control this time. No demons.”

“What about Alistair?” Cullen asked quietly, the question surprising himself. Maker, but was he actually considering this? Lana’s laughter surprised him even further.

“Alistair won’t mind. He’ll probably encourage it, once I explain. He should be there, too. So you have someone else reassuring you who doesn’t embody the face of your memories.”

“I… I’m not sure if… You actually think it would help?” Maker help him, he was considering it.

“It helped me a lot.” Lana nodded. “It wouldn't hurt to try, right?”

“I don’t… think you realize just how… How far some of it went.” Cullen’s throat had gone dry, his voice a bit raspy.

“Alistair enjoys sharing me, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Lana said. She placed her closed hand gently against her lips, laughing lightly at the look that spread on Cullen’s face. “Believe me, he enjoys it. He often joins in. Although, obviously, he doesn’t have to. This would be about you, Cullen. About helping you. If reliving all that without the bad helps you sleep better at night, I’d be happy to do it. Just think about it. No pressure.”

      No pressure. The words had left her so simply, so unironically, as if this wouldn’t be one of the more difficult things for Cullen to consider. It would sound perfect on paper, he was sure: taking a moment of trauma and reliving it with the ability to strike out what had gone wrong. Of course, he couldn’t strike it all out. There would always be the memories he couldn’t rewrite: of his friends, murdered in front of him after hours of torture; of the mages who trapped him and cut him before sending a demon to play with his mind. But she was there, in Skyhold - the mage he had secretly pined for all those years ago. The very person whose visage had been used to torment him again, and again, as they played her in his mind the way he had always wanted her back then: touching him, kissing him, just as he had imagined it might be, only for her to transform into the demon once more before they tortured him some more. If he had a chance to rewrite even just one part of it… After this long of trying to run from it all, he owed it to himself to try. After all the guilt she had felt since the moment she had rescued him only for him to look at her as if she had been the one to do it, he owed it to her.

“I’d say you won’t even know I’m here, but… I think we all know that would be a lie,” Alistair chuckled. 

The three of them sat in a small room, the one Alistair and Lana had been staying in since they had arrived three months ago. Lana had suggested Cullen pick the location once he had agreed to their meeting, wanting him to feel safe wherever they were - one more way for him to be in control of the setting. Of course Cullen had his own room, but the hole in the roof and the possibility of interruptions was much too high. At least Lana would be comfortable in her own room, he had told himself. 

“Don’t listen to him,” Lana sighed with a smile. She wasn’t wearing her usual blue armor that day. She sat at the edge of the bed, a tunic much too large for her hanging to her knees and breeches covering her legs. Alistair had gone without much of his armor as well, lounging in a comfy chair near the window and looking quite relaxed about the whole situation. Cullen felt a mess inside and, after the way he had blunderingly discarded his armor as he realized he was much too overdressed between the other two, he was quite sure his anxiousness was apparent as he sat in a chair near the small desk at the wall. 

“I’m teasing, of course,” Alistair said with a smile. “But, not really, at the same time. I’m here for moral support. I know things like this aren’t always easy. It wasn’t difficult for me to redirect Lana when her memories became triggered early on, but, then, I wasn’t the focus of that memory. It’ll seem awkward in the beginning, I’m sure, seeing me in the corner, watching you canoodle with my wife -”

“Alistair…”

“What? You can’t expect me not to.” Alistair grinned at Lana as she rolled her eyes at him. “What I was trying to say is: I’m not going to deck you off of her at any point, unless you’re hurting her, of course. We’re all adults. Or, at least, that’s what I tell myself. Anyway, it’ll get less awkward, and we have all the time in the world. So, chop chop, get at it, have fun you two.”

“Maker’s breath.” Cullen groaned as he buried his face in his hands. 

“Ignore him,” Lana said lightly. Cullen looked up as he felt her hands on his, pulling gently as she uncovered his face. She wasn’t much taller than him in that moment, even with him sitting and slouching the way he was. It had been one of the first things he had ever noticed about her, how easy she would have been to hold in his arms. “Focus on me. Now, tell me… How did the demon tempt you with me?”

“I….” Cullen trailed off. He tried his best to keep his eyes on her, but he steadily found it more and more difficult as the memories threatened to return to him.

“I know it’s hard to talk about,” Lana said after a moment of silence. “Maybe start with the first thing?”

“You… I mean, it… When the deception began, the vision… I thought I had awoken in the tower by myself. I had almost thought they left, and then… I saw you. I mean… Not you, but…”

“Take your time, Cullen, it's all right.”

“I don’t want you to… To feel like you have to do this.”

“I wouldn’t have offered this to just anyone, Cullen. You and I have a connection that is unfortunate in one large aspect, and that’s Uldred. Let’s remove him from the equation.”

Cullen took a deep breath and nodded before continuing. 

“You crouched next to me on the floor. I tried to warn you of what had happened, but you told me all was well. That we were alone. It had all been some awful dream. You touched my face…”

Cullen froze as Lana touched his cheek. First her fingertips, gentle and slightly cool to the touch. Then they slid to hold him, the calluses on her hand from years of wielding her staff rubbing softly as they went. Lana rested her hand there, giving Cullen a small and encouraging smile.

“How are you doing?” She asked softly. Cullen's eyes flicked towards Alistair, almost expecting him to become uncomfortable with the situation at any moment, only to find the man lounging sideways in his chair with his long legs hanging over the side. 

“F - Fine. I'm, ah, fine.” Cullen waited until Lana gave him a small nod, his cue to continue. He cleared his throat, giving himself courage to continue as he focused his gaze on her. “I tried to tell you again that we should go, but you… You were persistent. You told me that you - you knew, about my thoughts… My… My desires…”

“Did you desire me?” Lana asked sweetly. Color rushed to Cullen's face as she brought her legs to either side of his lap, settling softly onto him. Her other hand met the opposite side of his face to mirror the one that already cupped his cheek, and slowly her hands slid back to curl gently in his hair. 

“I - I did, at the time.” The words were raspy as they left his throat. His eyes widened slightly as he felt his cock twitch once against his breeches, against her. A lilting laugh left her throat as she smiled.

“At the time?” She teased. 

“He'd have had to be mad not to be,” Alistair commented casually from the corner. Cullen nearly jumped at the sound of his voice. Maker, he had already forgotten that Alistair was there. Lana's hand dropped to Cullen's chin, gently redirecting his gaze towards her.

“What happened next, Cullen?”

“You… It...”

“Did it kiss you?”

“I… Yes,” he choked. Cullen's heart pounded in his chest as time slowed down for him. Slowly, steadily, Lana began leaning towards him, her eyes gradually closing as her lips neared his. And then, they met, and he froze. 

“Cullen? Cullen?”

Cullen blinked, finding Lana still on his lap but staring at him at an arm's length. There was a hint of concern in her eyes, and as his gaze slowly moved towards Alistair he saw the same caring, concerned look on the man's face. As Cullen began moving again Lana visibly relaxed as her warm smile returned to her face.

“What happened just now? Where did you go?” 

“It was… Almost just as I recalled,” he breathed. Maker, but this was more difficult than he had thought it would be. His hands were shaking, and he gripped the arms of the chair to steady them. He couldn't even recall her ending the kiss, seemingly having lost that time in his mind. 

“What was different, though?” Alistair piped in.

“What?” Cullen turned his head to look at Alistair. The man was still sitting with his legs over the side of the chair, however now he was propped up more proper. 

“Before, when it happened. Did it feel like her kiss did? Could you feel the callus on her lower lip from her chewing it too much? Were the kisses before rough and forcing, or soft and sweet?”

“Ah, m - more rough, I… Looking back on it, perhaps it was trying too hard to convince me.”

“So focus on her, then. Kiss her again, but this time count all the differences. Starting with that lovely callus of hers.”

Cullen mentally prepared himself as Lana gently ran her fingers through his hair. Her touch was kind, soothing, not at all what he had felt back in Kinloch. She trailed her fingers over his cheek, tracing his features like a lover memorizing their partner's face. He watched her eyes, her gentle smile as she followed her fingers, and his body relaxed under her touch. Her fingers trailed over the scar above his lip, following it to his lips themselves. That was when her eyes met his, and for a split second a memory of those same blue eyes flashed in his mind, only younger than the ones in front of him now, smiling up at him as they stood talking about the Harrowing she had just completed with ease, and his heart skipped a beat.

“This is real this time, this isn’t a dream,” she whispered. “You're a templar no longer, and we are not in Kinloch. Kiss me.”

Cullen's lips were pulled to hers as if by some invisible force. His hands rested at the small of her back, gripping lightly as they kissed. He followed Alistair's instruction, focusing on every little difference. He found the callus Alistair had mentioned, right at the middle of her lower lip, born from years of nervous habits, something completely missing from his memory. Her kisses were soft, gentle, as kind as her fingers that snaked through his hair once more to caress him - a stark contrast to the gripping, needing pulls from his nightmares. She smelled of lavender and vetiver, of ink and the pages of very old books. She let him take the lead, kissing back only when he kissed her, leaving him in full control. At one point a whimper left her throat, high pitched and shaking, and Cullen suddenly realized that his hands had moved to grip her bottom.

“A - Andraste preserve me, I am so - so sorry,” he sputtered while removing his hands from her. He sighed as Lana kissed him once more, and this time he found his lips trailing after hers when she pulled back.

“I meant what I said before,” she said with a small smirk. “Whatever helps you heal this memory…”

“It… It never got quite that far,” Cullen said as he cleared his throat. “Or, at least…”

“What happened?” Lana asked. Her hands were busying themselves in his hair, brushing back strands just above his ear to help relax him.

“It… It got close. It was as if it was on a loop… Always… Getting to that point, with you - it - on - on top, and then, just before, everything became real again. And they'd… Start over.”

“That's terrible,” Lana said with a frown. “The way I see it, we have two options.”

“Which are...?”

“We can play this out exactly as you remember, only follow through. We break the loop. Or, if this is too much, we can stop.”

“And… What are… your feelings on that?” Cullen asked as he eyed Alistair. The man cracked a grin from afar.

“Judging by the look on her face, and the conversation we had last night about it, she's very excited about comparing templars, if you catch my drift.”

“You really don't mind watching another man… With your wife?”

“He likes it,” Lana said with a smirk. A groan left Cullen's throat of its own accord as she shifted herself against his straining erection that begged to be freed from his breeches. “He enjoys watching me being pleased. And I enjoy him enjoying it.”

“Well, if… If no one objects, we could always try to… See how far we can get.”

“That's the spirit,” Alistair said encouragingly. “I only have one rule - well, two rules: One - what's your watchword, my dear?”

“Wicker.” Cullen watched Lana's cheeks flush ever so slightly as the world left her tongue, then his eyes flickered back to focus on Alistair as he continued. 

“That's right: Wicker. You hear that word, Commander, and you stop. You can use the same if you'd like. Rule number two: no coming in my wife. Yes, I realize we're wardens and wardens don't get pregnant often, but just humor me. Agree to those simple things and I'll let you in on a little secret - If you rub her ears too firmly a few times she'll come, so, avoid that. Unless you want her to come. In which case, it is a nice little trick.”

“Oh, Maker,” Lana sighed with a smile. Cullen chuckled nervously at Alistair’s suggestion. Maker, was he really going to go through with this? Would he even make it to that moment with her? Did she really want this?

As Lana leaned forward and took Cullen’s lips with hers he realized, yes, she did want this. Lana may have been rather obviously allowing Cullen to pick their pace, but she gave herself away in the way her hips gingerly rocked every now and then to rub against his straining erection, as if she couldn’t help herself. Cullen’s hands slowly snuck back to her waist. A strangled hum vibrated in his throat as he felt her breath shake against his lips, as if such a simple touch from him had evoked such a strong response. Memories flashed behind Cullen's closed eyes, little glimpses of watching her from afar so many years ago, always from afar. There were no rules now to stand between them, no blatant imbalances of power to keep his conscience from allowing him this. 

Maker, he didn't think he could stop kissing her even if he wanted to. Each kiss from her melded into his subconscious, each further and further from the frightful memories he had associated her lips with before. He felt as if he were truly breathing for the first time in her presence, a clear headed feeling he hadn't felt since his last draught of lyrium, and he needed more. 

“May I?”

Cullen's lips slowed to a halt as she spoke against them. He pulled back just far enough to glance down at her fingers that played with the lacing of his shirt. With a nod, Cullen watched as Lana slowly unlaced his shirt until it was nice and loose. Then she took his hand, directing his fingers towards the lace on the large shirt she wore. Cullen flushed crimson, realizing that doing so would reveal quite a bit more on her than it did on him. He swallowed as she molded his fingers to grip the lace, then he slowly pulled.

As her skin was revealed, inch by inch, Cullen felt himself seizing up. His eyes were glued to her, staring at her skin just below her clavicle as the fabric pulled away as slowly as his fingers allowed it to. He felt his mind going dark, everything around him swirling, Lana's posture slackened as she caught on to the change in Cullen's appearance when, suddenly, he saw the tip of an old scar. It poked out from under the lacing as it loosened, just on the right at the edge of the top of her breast. 

Cullen's breath released heavily, and he let go of the lace. The rest of it fell, the fabric sliding from her shoulders with it. Cullen's eyes stared at the scar, unable to take his eyes off of it as she sat on his lap with the shirt pooled at her hips. He swallowed hard, raising his hand to draw his fingers over the scar. Its edges were rough, not the work of steel - no, a claw, perhaps? From the corner of his eye, Cullen caught a glimpse of another: one just above her hip, mostly obscured by the fabric of the shirt. He clasped his hands to her waist, causing her to squeak in surprise as he lifted her off his lap and set her to stand in front of him. 

“Everything okay…?” Alistair's question went unanswered as Cullen gently slipped the shirt from Lana's hips until it pooled at her feet. Cullen remained seated in front of her, his face barely an arm's length from her as he hunched over to look at the scar. This one ran from her hip to mere inches diagonal to her navel. It was sharp, piercing, the work of something sharp and rounded - definitely steel, unlike the other. It was covered by a burn, almost hand-shaped in appearance, as if someone had placed their burning palm to her flesh to cauterize the first wound. 

Lana's skin was reddening under his gaze and touch, standing before him in her breast band and breeches. Her head tilted as she watched him stare at her scars, trying to figure out what the significance was as he gently took her hand and traced the scar on her arm - the one that gave her the most nightmares of them all. She bit her lip as he focused on that one, setting aside whatever feelings she had of it for the moment. Then his eyes shot up to her shoulder and he spun her with his hands. Her eyes widened as she stumbled to keep her balance from the sudden movement, making contact with Alistair's gaze as his brows lifted. Cullen was running his fingers over the burn on her right shoulder, and Lana and Alistair's heads tilted almost in unison as they heard what sounded like Cullen laughing. 

“Cullen?” His name was drawn out on Lana's tongue. Alistair sat up in his chair, craning his neck in order to see the Commander's face. His eyes were slightly watering, a look of almost disbelief on his face as he quietly laughed. If it hadn't been for the smile on his face, Alistair would have been more concerned. The two of them waited, giving Cullen a moment, before he finally spoke.

“You have scars.” The words left Cullen, and Lana felt the relief they carried with them. She relaxed instantly, smiling as she laughed as well. 

“It didn't have scars, did it?” She asked, and Alistair instantly slumped back in understanding.

“None at all.”

Lana's body was peppered with them: big scars, little ones, each telling their own story, and Cullen had never known. The demon had drawn on his knowledge of her, filling in the blanks as he would have imagined: it had been unmarked; flawless light olive skin that had matched her face, save for the nail sized nick just near her left eye. Each scar was proof that she was different, that she was her, the one who saved him from that terror all those years ago, not the cause. Each scar was proof, and of them she had many.

Cullen stood as Lana turned and took his hand, pulling him from the chair. She walked him towards the bed, her legs barely hitting the edge before he pulled her towards him and bent low to meet her lips. 

“Walk me through it.” Lana's words bounced off Cullen's lips between kisses. 

“Through…?”

“What happened next?”

Cullen slowly parted from her kiss, the reality of everything coming back to him. His cheeks flushed as he straightened, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck as he glanced at the bed. He silently kicked himself in his mind as he felt his nervousness setting in once more. 

“Well, I was… We were on the ground… You - I mean - It, r - removed my clothes, and its… Clothes...” 

“Do you want to change that?”

“H - How so?”

“It removed everything… How about you do it this time? Let it be your choice.”

Cullen slowly nodded his head as he considered it. His eyes wandered down to her breasts, barely covered by the cotton that bound it back. He averted his gaze as he felt his face burn, quickly deciding to remove his shirt first. He grabbed the hem, pulling it over his head and taking his time setting it to the side. Cullen could feel the burning traveling down his shoulders and across his chest as his hands found the laces of his trousers. Chancing a glance at Lana, he felt his stomach do a bit of a leap as he watched her teeth bite lightly on her lower lip - right on that callus - all the while her eyes were glued to his hands as they pulled at the strings. Maker, she wasn't trying to hide how much she wanted him, and it made him more careless as he let the trousers drop to the floor at his feet. 

As he tried to step out of the legs of his trousers, Cullen felt himself turn beet red as he realized one fatal mistake - his boots. He dropped down to crouch, sputtering apologies in his smalls as he tore at the laces of his boots and tried to kick them off as if doing so would curse their very existence. 

“Alistair didn't even get his boots off our first time, if that makes you feel any better,” Lana said with a light and understanding laugh. 

“Traitor, you're not supposed to tell people that,” Alistair scoffed, though the grin on his face gave his levity away. 

“Not just me, then?” Cullen mumbled. He tried to take a breath to shake the embarrassment. The feeling faded away soon enough as he saw Lana's feet stepping closer to him. 

“My turn, I believe?” She asked sweetly. Cullen slowly trailed his eyes over her form from where he was crouched, starting at her feet and moving up her cloth covered legs to the skin of her belly, all the way to her ocean blue eyes that sparkled down at him. Maker, he could crouch there all day, he decided. Boots shifted to the side and trousers with them, Cullen shifted to his knees as his eyes zeroed in on the laces of her breeches. He unconsciously licked his lower lip for a moment as he reached out to grasp the string. His heart was pounding, hand shaking ever so slightly as he pulled at the knot until it loosened, then placed a hand on either side of her hips, ensuring his index fingers were touching her skin to feel her as he pulled the breeches down. 

Lana stepped out of the breeches one foot at a time as Cullen pulled them for her. Standing, he looked around the room as if there would be instructions written on the wall. When he met Lana's eyes again she merely smiled in a manner that seemed almost mischievous.

“I believe I'm still clothed, Cullen.”

Maker, but she was. Two strips of fabric kept her from being known to him. Two simple, measly strips of fabric, one which seemed a miracle it was holding her breasts back at all. 

“Which… Um… Which one should I…?”

“I vote the breasts,” Alistair piped in suddenly from his chair. Lana shot a look at him that clearly told him to stop meddling, to which he threw his hands up in defense and added, “Just a suggestion. I apparently don't get a vote, sooo…”

“Whichever you prefer,” Lana cut in, turning her attention back to Cullen. Whichever he preferred… Maker, was there a preference to be had? In that moment, everything so very different from his traumatic past, it felt not unlike being presented with two gifts on Satinalia: two gifts which went hand-in-hand, each which would be opened eventually. Just… Which order?

Cullen let Alistair decide for him. It was simpler that way, though he wasn't sure he wouldn't have done the same in different circumstances. The grey breast band wrapped around her chest seemed to have a difficult task. It got the job done, if that job was only to hold her breasts in place long enough to get her armor on which would surely help with the rest. The world had seen plenty of advances in armor and weaponry, but, it seemed, these had scarcely seen an upgrade since the Exalted Age. 

Standing and stepping close enough to reach around her back, Cullen peered over Lana's head to eye the knot. He fiddled with it a bit, gritting his teeth at one point when it seemed the knot had possibly gotten tighter, when suddenly he felt it pop free. He gingerly took a step back as it fell to the ground, his eyes shamelessly glued to her breasts. Cullen could tell Lana was blushing, but, Maker help him, he couldn't take his eyes off of her. He barely even registered the happy hum of approval from Alistair over in his corner, until Lana spoke.

“Would you like me to take care of this?” Her eyes were on his, watching his eyes follow her hand as she hooked her fingers in the corner of her smalls. Cullen managed a nod, and took a step back as she slipped them down.

A breath escaped Cullen as she stood before him. When first he had gazed upon the demon’s form - her form, twisted by what it had read in his mind - it had given off a feeling. Cullen couldn't explain it more than that. It hadn't felt right. It had felt conniving, eerie, like a dark, thorny path in the woods on an otherwise sunny day, riddled with tempting berries that carried an uncertain fate to whomsoever was foolish enough to pluck one and eat it. As Lana stood before him now, she seemed to glow in his mind. There was nothing eerie about her - her scars reminded him of that. And, Maker, she was perfect. 

“Almost.” Cullen stopped in his tracks as Lana piped in after he had taken one step towards her. He furrowed his brows in confusion, only to catch her drift as her eyes trailed downwards on his body with a sly smile. “Not quite fair… Is it?”

“I suppose not,” he chuckled as he flushed once more. Cullen slid his smalls down, pink spreading across his body as his cock stood at full attention in the cool room. 

“So…” Lana smiled, glancing eagerly at his length before looking back up at Cullen while she walked back towards the bed. She sat at the edge before sliding into the middle and patting the mattress as she continued to steal glances of him. “You were on the ground? I thought a bed may be more comfortable. I can move to the floor if you'd like.”

“No - No, you're right. A bed is… Better.” Cullen nodded as he followed her over. He slid onto the bed, suddenly aware of how strange the whole situation must have been. Here he was lying naked on a bed, with a naked woman, and her fully clothed husband sitting in the corner - and yet, there was a part of it that excited him, enough to keep him wanting to see how this would all play out. 

“What happened next?”

Cullen took a deep breath as he prepared to answer her question.

“It… Sat on my legs, and began to… Situate. And that… That's when it all ended. And became… Then it turned, and…” Cullen sighed shakily, closing his eyes as Lana ran her fingers softly through his golden hair. 

“We can take our time,” she said softly at his side. “We don't have to do this all tonight, Cullen. You're doing wonderful. If this is too much -”

“No.” Cullen said it firmly, shaking his head adamantly. He turned his head to the side to look at her, focusing on the scar on her chest, the top of the burn on her right shoulder, a cluster of freckles below her collarbone he had never seen before, all the differences. “I don't want to associate it with you anymore. I - I wasn’t certain before, but now... I want to do this.”

“Good.” Lana smiled, running her fingers through his shallow chest hair. “Because, I have to admit… Ever since you took your smalls off, I've been curious what you'll feel like…”

“Maker's breath.” Cullen nervously laughed, unable to say much else. He had never felt less suave in his entire life, he was sure of it. He blinked, watching as Lana straightened her body and slowly slid her leg over his side. Seeing her above him then, her hands on his chest, fiery copper hair in the candlelight, his mind began swirling. Lana watched as the color drained from his face, his hands gripped onto the blanket beneath him as if it were his only lifeline. 

“Cullen?” She spoke his name softly. Placing her hands on either side of his face she could feel him beginning to sweat. His eyes seemed to stare right through her, as if he were lost in a deep memory. “Cullen?”

Alistair got up from his chair when Cullen didn't move. Cullen's breath was heavy, his muscles tense as Alistair crouched down next to the bed and put his hand on Cullen's shoulder.

“Come on, Rutherford,” Alistair said firmly, giving him a good shake. Alistair's voice seemed to snap him out of it, his voice and way of addressing him not too different from how he had addressed him when they were both Templar trainees. Cullen swallowed as he met Alistair's eyes, then he turned and looked back at Lana.

“Do it.”

“What?” Lana was shocked at Cullen's request. It left him more like a command than a plea, determination coursing over his tongue. Alistair had backed off again to his chair, trying his best to let the two of them work through it now that Cullen seemed to be back.

“I want it to end. Please.” 

“Then end it,” Lana said. “You said this was where it changed… So change it. Take control. What do you want to do?”

It had never happened before. In his nightmares, reliving that hell he had been through, it played over just the same as he had experienced: everything but, her soft legs wrapped around his torso, melting away into purple and horror before he could even experience her. He knew exactly what he wanted to do to change it. 

Cullen grasped Lana by the waist, holding her in place as he rolled them until he was on top of her while she squeaked shortly in surprise. Lana hummed as his lips crashed to hers, whimpers bubbling in her throat as his fingers delved between them to test how wet she was. Maker, she was soaking, clearly having been ready for this since the moment she sat on his lap what seemed like ages ago to him. 

In normal circumstances, Cullen would have liked to have taken his time. These were anything but normal circumstances. Desperate to break the cycle, to have something new to add to the loop, Cullen slid up slightly, groaning low in unison with Lana's loudening whimpers as he rubbed his cock against her heat, coating it in her quim. He sat back just enough to glance between them, taking his hard cock in hand as he guided it to her entrance. 

Cullen's breath was loud, relieved as he felt her heat surround him. It was as if glass had been his prison and it had shattered all around him the moment her mouth hung open with a moan that echoed throughout the room. The sound made him shiver, and he watched Lana as her brow furrowed near her shut eyes, hands gripping the blanket as she fought the urge to roll her hips until he was ready. She was waiting for him to be ready. Cullen pulled back with his hips before gently thrusting back into her. His eyes rolled slightly at the feel of her, quickly opening again to watch as her chest arched slightly with each thrust. Maker, she was already making so much noise, and he was barely doing anything. The thought made Cullen feel warm, stroking his ego as he moved one hand from her hip to balance on the mattress near her face. 

Lana arched towards him, her mouth hanging open as her lips curled into a smile. Maker, Cullen felt different than Alistair. Alistair was gifted when it came to his size - she knew that from the few she had been able to compare by then. Cullen still filled her well, though, very well, in a way that didn't stretch too much for comfort. Oh, Maker, and that slight curve Cullen had to him - that was new, that was very nice. 

Her arms reached up, wrapping around to Cullen's back as he pressed his chest closer to her. Lana took advantage of Cullen's shoulder being level with her lips, pulling him closer to moan loudly against his skin as his thrusts became more purposeful. His hand slipped down to her thigh, pulling until her legs were wrapped around his hips. Cullen slid his hand over every inch of her he could reach, memorizing the feel of her, embedding the memory of her and this moment deep in his mind: he felt the difference between the soft skin of her breast to the scar his thumb ran over; the curve over the peak of her nipple, the way she shuddered and gasped as he grasped over it; the dip over her navel, down to the rough and smooth of the burn that lay over the bump of the long, deep scar just near her hip; and the sweet, sweet way his fingers could dig into the flesh of her bottom, the way her moans became louder and louder as he pulled her towards him while he became totally and incandescently lost in her. 

Time slowed down for Cullen, and at the last possible moment he suddenly remembered one of Alistair's rules. His abdomen was tightening, his body practically lifting as he felt his end near so soon after only just beginning. Grasping her legs Cullen peeled her from his body, pulling out of her and grasping his cock with his hand as he sat up on his knees. He groaned loudly, covering the tip with his palm as he pulsed and spurted into his hand. Cullen gasped, suddenly finding the room less than full of air to him. He gave himself a few hearty, slow strokes, ensuring that he had been emptied of every last drop before falling back to sit on the bed. 

The sound of Lana's happy humming made the corners of Cullen's mouth twitch into a lazy grin. He lifted his head to look her over, finding her still in the position he had left her: on her back, practically spread eagled with a wide grin on her face and flushed skin all over. As her eyes fluttered open and she met his gaze, Cullen felt his insides flip for what felt like the hundredth time that night. 

“How did we do?” She asked breathlessly, and Cullen couldn't help but chuckle. 

“I would say… We did a perfect job.” 

“Think you'll have better thoughts in your mind when you see me now?”

“I - Yes, I... I think I have quite the image to think of now.” Cullen flinched slightly as a cloth hit his shoulder. He looked down, picking up the light blue handkerchief Alistair had tossed at him before looking at the warden questioningly.

“I promise, it's clean.” Alistair winked as he lifted himself off the chair. Cullen nodded in sudden understanding, flushing as he used the handkerchief to clean his hand off. He looked up as Alistair approached the bed, watching as the man looked over his wife with a sparkling interest and a smirk that even made Cullen blush. “I hope you haven't been tired out just yet… My turn, yes?”

[darlingrutherford]

Another slightly more feels-y cullanistair: When two of them are missing the third so, so badly it almost hurts. They drown in each other to distract themselves from the ache until their lover can come back to them. (Side note: even if it's not a true polyamorous relationship in that all 3 are not madly in love with all 3 of each other, I still friggin' love how special this relationship & friendship is 😍. And they love each other in their own way, so it's enough. Still my personal OT3 tho 🤣)

Oh, oh, yes 😍

I definitely do headcanon it on my end to be less of a polyamorous relationship and more of a couple-with-a-friend-with-benifits type deal, but you are absolutely able to ship them more that way ;) There's always room for one more AU, right? 😂❤️ and, since you mentioned it, just thinking along those lines for fun...

Lana loves very deeply, and she would absolutely ache for whoever happens to be missing. She gives a part of her heart to whomever she loves, and it would feel like she's missing a third of it when Cullen is off doing Inquisition things, or else when Alistair has to go off for other reasons (let's face it, usually Inquisition-y things as well). She's a bit more clingy when one of them is gone, she sits a bit closer to whichever one is still there, needs a bit of reassurance that she hasn't been left behind (deep down she knows, but there's always a darker part of her that wonders and waits for it to happen). If that reassurance comes in the form of Cullen or Alistair showing how much they don't want to leave the bed she's in... Well, that's usually fairly effective.

Alistair gets mopey when one of them is away. He has trouble focusing. He'll spend way too long contemplating his chess moves against Cullen, more focused on pushing the tiny wooden mage around its small square on the board. Or, he'll lean against one of the posts down at the training grounds, watching with disinterested eyes while the Inquisition soldiers train as he thinks about the last time he went down there and found Cullen training them himself. Lana distracts him the best way she knows: ropes, for him this time, and a bit of magic to cool, warm, or gently shock his sorrows away. When she's gone, Cullen invites him to help with the training, often sparring with him himself. Cullen is gentle like Lana, he checks in with Alistair often, knowing that Lana being gone is like having a piece of Alistair's heart missing. There are lots of little, reassuring touches throughout the day in passing - and, of course, lots of attention and care at night.

Cullen buries himself in his work when he's feeling the weight of either of their absences - sometimes it's even both, such is the nature of their profession. Alistair distracts him, and often. Poor, unsuspecting scouts have walked in to Cullen's office only to find the commander pinned against the wall with Alistair's hands in his hair and lips against his - both fully clothed at that point, thank the Maker. Lana is more subtle, but over the years she's become accustomed to a certain level of contact every day from Alistair, and she knows Cullen would be missing that as well. So, she steals him away, to whatever dark corners of Skyhold she finds nearby when he's on his way to meet with Josephine, causing him to be very late, stumbling into her office with incorrectly ordered reports and mussed hair, only to be asked by the smirking ambassador if he had lost his right pauldron on his way there. If both are to be gone, they leave letters, each one with numbers written on the folded paper to specify which night he's to open them, each full of warm and spicy words to busy his hand late at night so they may join him even from afar.

[darlingrutherford]

Okay, one more before I try to go back to sleep for a couple more hours (because I'm shameless, and this is such a good pairing and that is absolutely my defense, Your Honor): Describe the first time Alistair walked in on Cullen and Lana getting frisky without him being there. I can totally imagine Cullen freezing up and becoming as stiff as a board (it's not just his back that's as stiff as a board either 😏 badum-tssh).

Ooooh 👀👀👀

Alistair was thrilled, to put it lightly. Cullen had happened upon them a couple times before, but Alistair had never had the pleasure of being the one to catch them before then. It was after Alistair had gone off with the Inquisitor for about a week on Frederick's request (something something, grey warden related, something 😂), and Alistair had left a day earlier than the rest to surprise them 👀

Cullen was flushed from head to toe, obviously. He hadn't heard the door open, he was so fully focused on Lana. She made him aware of Alistair at first. Originally he thought maybe she was just thinking about her husband (not unusual or something taken personally, and something that would normally encourage him to go a bit harder until she was focused on him instead). Then his ears heard the slide of a shield to the wooden floor, soon followed by the sound of buckles being undone.

Cullen knew he wasn't in the wrong in any way. Alistair had talked to him about it, encouraged it. Still, it was hard not to flush red from head to toe when there was no possible way to hide the fact that Cullen was on his knees with Lana's back to him, his hand blatantly groping her chest and holding her against him with his cock buried deep inside her. Normally, Cullen would have started sputtering apologies, trying to explain, but this was so blatantly obvious, his brain just... Shut down 😂 Alistair arriving early caught him so off guard that he just froze, watching the tall warden's eyes fully assess every inch of the situation. And Cullen remained frozen in his spot, until Alistair finally grinned and said, "What a nice welcome back gift.. Mind if I join?"

[darlingrutherford]

I'm not saying that vamps!Alistair and Cullen would want Lana to wear an outfit that shows off her neck with their bites on it, but I'm not not saying that either. (you're welcome btw :D)

👀👀👀 ok but

You know vampires have access to the best clothing and um

Maybe she has some dresses like this

Also, teeth are rather unique, and I'm sure both of their marks on her look a little different from the other. So it's not hard to know which mark is from whom 👀👀

[darlingrutherford]

Well now I have to follow up that anon's question with: Cullen! Where's YOUR favorite spot to bite Lana?

Cullen: The neck is fine.

Alistair snorts, causing Cullen to furrow his brows at him.

Cullen: What?

Alistair: The neck is fine. Prude. You bite everywhere and anywhere available when you’re allowed.

Cullen instantly appears more flustered, his eyes widening slightly at Alistair’s sharing of very secret information. Lana is flushing for the millionth time tonight, staring at the floor with eyes wider than Cullen’s. 

Cullen: I’m not some kind of uncontrolled animal, running around biting her wherever - 

Alistair: Where did you bite her last night when she said you could have a bit, Cullen?

Cullen gets a bit quiet and begins rubbing the back of his neck.

Cullen: Her neck.

Alistair: And...?

Cullen: .... And her... um... Well...

Alistair: Her breast, Cullen. You bit her lovely breast.

Cullen: I - I didn’t - It’s not like they weren’t already marked! I asked! I didn’t just -

Alistair: The neck just wasn’t enough, was it? Two spots you had to bite, and then -

Alistair pauses as he eyes Lana rubbing at her arm while avoiding eye contact.

Alistair: You bit her arm too. Didn’t you?

Cullen: I - There was just so much going on, and - it had been a while - 

Alistair: Uncontrolled animal. Accurate.

Vampire!AU Lana, Alistair, and (maybe) Cullen (if you’re lucky) are answering asks! Send one in!

[darlingrutherford]

Lana and Alistair are sitting next to one another on a red cushioned chaise in a cozy nook of the Redcliffe Castle library. In front of them is set a glowing orb, conveniently placed so we can observe them, with a stack of asks letters that will replenish as more questions come in. Alistair is wearing his ‘spooky’ cape, as promised, which he currently has pulled menacingly around his face as he wiggles his fingers towards Lana.

Alistair: ooOOoOooo! I'm going to suck your blooood, small elf woman! WooOOOooOo!

Lana clears her throat loudly while trying not too laugh too hard.

Lana: Alistair, the orb is glowing. They're watching.

Alistair looks sideways towards the orb before coughing awkwardly, straightening slightly, and sitting with his knee touching Lana's.

Alistair: ahahahah - ahem. Welcome. Everyone. My lovely love and I have been asked to host a Q&A this Hallows Eve, so. Here we are. Awaiting your questions, so that we may answer them.

Lana looks over to a dimly lit corner.

Lana: Were you going to join us, Cullen?

A hesitant cough and a grumble is all that's heard from the corner where Cullen is sitting with his face in a book that must be extremely interesting to be sooo far away from the action…. Of this Q&A.

Alistair: Give him time. He likes us to warm up a bit first. It's an elderly vampire thing.

Lana: If looks could kill…

Happy Halloween, everyone! Please feel free to send in your asks for Lana, Alistair, and Cullen (if he feels so inclined - or forced - to answer). Anything that's on your mind, anything at all - send it their way! Have fun! ;)

This Q&A session is 18+, so if you're a minor please enjoy your Halloween elsewhere :)

[darlingrutherford]

2 things that occurred to me while trying to go back to sleep: 1. I absolutely friggin' love the idea of Cullen 'ambushing' Lana (vampy and not vampy). The thought that he couldn't wait to get his hands on her again~ So he just...sneaking up on a Grey Warden must be difficult, but when Lana is engrossed in something, it's easier to do. The way she jumps in surprise and squeaks when he molds his body to hers, the feeling of his cock grinding into her ass and his hands trying to worm their way under her shirt when he nuzzles her jaw~ She and Alistair are the most fun he's had in awhile, and they definitely bring out his more mischievous (and lustful) side! 🦁

2. The first time Lanistair see Cullen suring one of his withdrawal episodes. Oof. He might've told them he was off-lyrium (or maybe he didn't!), but seeing it is another matter entirely. If he's at all lucid, he might try to send them away (and it's easier to be meaner when he's in that much pain). Or maybe he just sees bodies that could give him lyrium, people who's faces he can't quite register, who *exist*, and existing means they can give him what he craves. And he tries his best to persuade them by any means necessary (violence? Promises that he'll pay them back? A promise of certain...😏services😏...if they give him just a little bit of lyrium- I bet a myriad of tactics are used, one after the other if Cullen sees that he's not convincing them). Maybe in this state it's easier for past trauma to rear it's head too? The whump-potential...seeing how Lanistair cope with a side of Cullen they didn't realize existed...and the aftermath of it? Cullen trying to drive them away (however strongly or weakly) because his shame and pride demands it? *sniffle* I wants it.

@jellysharkbat (bc they sent the first one via Anon accidentally 🤣🤣)

1) One thing Lana has never been able to quite grow out of is how easy it is to startle her. So, even if she had a feeling someone was behind her, being grabbed on its own would be enough to make her squeak all startled 🤣 I absolutely love the idea of Cullen just completely being more relaxed around the two of them, how they have the ability to take the work out of him and he melts away into his most basic self where he can focus on the two of them and not worry about anything else. The fact that Lana and Alistair separate work and play so well has a lot to do with it. They help him learn how to set that all aside, and it triggers it in his brain when he sees them since they're not around all the time 👀👀

2) 😩😭😭😭 poor Cullen. He would be so embarrassed if he had been around them on a day where his withdrawals were so bad that he tried bartering with them for some (they both carry lyrium on them when they're traveling, so he knows they have access to it too). I can absolutely see him trying to push them away after something like that happened, but they'd know better. They'd drop everything to see him through it, however they can. No matter how mean Cullen got when he was at his worst (and he can say some hurtful things when his want for lyrium is at its worst), they know it's just the withdrawals talking, and they'd never take more from him than they can handle. And Alistair and Lana are fully capable of coming up with ways for him to make it up to them after if he's feeling that guilty 😏

[darlingrutherford]

Well it's kinktober soooo...back to me thinking of lots of inappropriate things about characters I like. 😂 Like Lana in the middle of a dirty dance sandwich with Alistair and Cullen on either side of her in a dark club with music so loud you can barely hear yu yourself talk. 🎶🔥

Oh

oh

OH.

I like this 👀👀 Lana gets a bit inappropriate when she drinks, so regular shy Lana would be incredibly willing to be in the middle of that in a club 👀 ahfjshfd

In the spirit of the spooky season, maybe they're participating in a Halloween pub crawl 👀 would give them all a reason to drink and let loose a little bit (because, Maker knows, Cullen and Lana both need a bit of encouragement in public lmao)

[darlingrutherford]

I DEFINITELY want to see how Lana (and Alistair) react to Cullen in that outfit, because HOLY SHIT MAN. *fans self* It's not fair how good he looks in that.

Ahdkhdagkfjsgfjs

It’s downright ILLEGAL

Lana’s brain would SHORT CIRCUIT. Cullen always looks good, but, Maker, now he looks like the kind of commander who not only can instruct you to do whatever he wants, but he looks suave as fuck too.

Pretty sure both of them would be on their knees ready to do anything he wanted. But, if he’s being shy, especially if the outfit wasn’t his idea, Lana and Alistair aren’t above pulling him into a room and locking the door behind them. They can’t be expected to survive the whole evening without getting their hands on him when he looks like that, surely 👀

[darlingrutherford]

Cullanistair ask: Waking up after a bad nightmare that might have them flailing around violently. Who would have it, and what would the response be?

Have you read my mind? Did you know I'm writing something like this? 👀👀

This is a very real situation that honestly could happen to either of them, or even both at the same time. Cullen's nightmares are more intense and frequent than Lana's by the point that she makes it to Skyhold (since she's had ten years of support throughout them while Cullen's had fuck all), but she still has her fair share.

Most of the time Alistair is also around, so when Cullen's having one of his nightmares that causes him to flail and such, Alistair is usually the one to wake him. Alistair is never someone in one of those nightmares, so seeing him upon startling awake is a good reminder to Cullen that he was just dreaming. When Alistair isn't there, Lana usually tries to gently wake him with her voice, or at least tries to calm his dream by talking softly to him and telling him it's not real and he's safe. This often works, but other times Cullen startles awake and his response after is entirely dependent on how much he can see, and what his brain first focuses on. Lana quickly learned to either light a candle or spark mage light before trying to wake him; the first time they were alone and he startled awake, the only thing he could see was her face - the face that he was tortured with - and he immediately pinned her down, shaking and yelling, "You killed them. You're not her, you're not her." Needless to say, Cullen was a wreck when he came to. He felt horrible. He could see how shaken up Lana was, even as she reassured him that she would have defended herself if he had actually tried to hurt her. It took a while after that for Cullen to trust himself to sleep around Lana when Alistair wasn't there, and even that first night when he did he spent most of the night wide awake, staring at her while she slept, trying to count every difference on her face that wasn't in his recurring nightmare.

Lana's nightmares are a bit easier for Cullen to deal with. The first time she woke him up screaming in her sleep was a bit jarring; she hadn't had that particular nightmare in a long time, not that intense at least, and so Alistair had kind of mentioned lightly when he was asking Cullen to keep her company while he was away - "She has bad dreams. Really bad dreams, but... She hasn't been vocal about them in a while, so... Just, comfort her, if she does. She needs that." Cullen immediately thinks about what would help him the most when he's crying from a horrible dream, and so he instinctively wraps his arms around her and holds her while she cries, reassures her when she apologizes over and over, and acts on every request she may ask of him in that moment.