The biting insects were attacking me, but there is a steady breeze so I was able to turn off the air conditioning and open the windows. It's kind of like being outside. Writing by hand with some wine. My goal is to complete a short fill so that I can refocus on longer works tomorrow.
I love how Peppino is not selfless. The entire game is about him saving his restaurant, and while you can help John it's not necessary. He's not a "good guy" he doesn't see other people's problems and think "I need to fix this."
He's not an outstanding person in any regard. And that's what makes him more realistic and relatable.
The player still wants him to succeed, even though his quest isn't world-saving and is just about him. Not everyone is special or a hero, but everyone has problems life throws at them.
And I think Peppino shows that really well. You don't have to be a "perfect person" to overcome your challenges to deserve better in life.
In the morning I had to pee in a cup! And that’s just for a start! Then I got administered methadone for the first time. There were a bunch of other people waiting to get their dose and you could tell they were all addicts. For the first time ever, I was with other people who went through the same shit I’ve been through. Then a guy approached me; I noticed him before, his arms and legs were visibly marked from years of drug injections. At some point he left with other guys, and when he got back he was…different. He couldn’t walk straight and he had his belt in his hands, trying to put it back on his trousers.. I also felt something good about him. No idea what it was, like…his eyes were kind. So he approached me and we chatted a little, and of course we ended up talking about dope. He straight up asked if I wanted to go to a real party like he was junkie Jack Dawson!!! And I said yess! Because I’m a crazy bitch! So I ended up carrying an addict never seen before until that day, in my car, to his dealer so he could score some h for the 2 of us! And he did! That was also the first time I tried some street dope.
We found a quiet place, I parked the car and we walked down a little path through trees and bushes until we reached a little stream of water. It was so nice, a little piece of heaven! We sit there (he even gave me his T-shirt so I wouldn’t get dirty) and in that beautiful place near the water, we snorted a couple of lines and got high on heroin. As soon as we started chatting at the very beginning, I noticed he was into me. Sitting there, high as a kite I got my confirmation: he got closer and started to caress me on my legs, my arms and my cheeks…it was totally innocent so I let him, plus I was enjoying my journey, smoking a cigarette not very “focused” on my surroundings…anyways it was time to leave and we got back to my car. I was driving and talking about the time my bf found me passed out in the bathroom because I overdosed and he suddenly realised that I do IV! He said: “whaaaat!! And we waisted that dope when we could have shot it?! Noo way! How could you?!” I started laughing like crazy! Basically he misjudged my appearance, I was too well dressed, too well behaved, too well whatever the fuck he thought I was..for the needle. Pff! Btw since he’s crazy as fuck, he wanted to inject with me so he asked me to stop at the closest pharmacy to buy a couple of syringes. Well…since I’m crazy as fuck too, that’s exactly what we did. At that point I felt like I was in a movie! He was able to find everything we needed for the cooking session, and there we were again, looking for a place where we could do our private party! We found the spot, so I stopped the car. He started to cook the dope using the bottom half of a can of soda (I had no idea where it came from and I didn’t ask!). To my surprise the dope started to dissolve just with the water, no ascorbic acid was required!! What kind of heroin was that, I wonder…
With my head filled with questions I rose my eyes towards him and guess what? He was nodding, heavily! I was like: Hey!! Wake up! Do not drop it! He said everything was fine and to not be worried! In a few minutes the 2 shots were ready, he offered me his help, saying: “Hey if you need a hand just tell me ok?”. And stuff like that.. then we were both ready for our magic trip to Wonderland!! He took out his belt, and told me that it was a present for his eighteenth birthday! Go figure! At that point he turned his back on me, so I don’t know which vein he used for the shot, but I’m pretty sure it was in his groin. As for me, I was praying Junkie Jesus the Almighty to let me register without much troubles! And after struggling a little I did it! I asked the guy if he was alright and he whispered yes. And that was my first time doing a shot with someone. He kept showering me with compliments while touching my skin, then my leg… and a part of me wanted to stay in that car, high as fuck with him, totally at peace with the world…but instead I recollected myself and drove him to the bus station. We exchanged our numbers tho! I’m sure I will see him again…
Btw, my bf was mad as hell because I got home late and our plans for the day went to shit…I am indeed an horrible person.
there's a very specific kind of vibe that comes with living with your friends in final year that it just does not have in first year or even second year. like as a fresher it's usually the first time any of you have lived away from home let alone with SO MANY people your age and it's terrifying and exciting and randomised to boot so it's generally carnage for a whole year in the best and worst ways, and then second year you pick who you're living with and it feels like for the first time you're doing this adult thing PROPERLY. you have a place of your own now. these are the people you've chosen to live with. studying gets serious etc. but it's still fresh. it's still new. you still don't know how to navigate it. but final year? final year is when you actually get it right. you know how to manage your time better. you know what works for you and what doesn't. studying is the main focus and you've been out in the world for three years now and it's not loud and boisterous like it was in first year and you're not exciteable and awkward like you were in second year. you're comfortable. every single one of my flatmates has their own friend group and we mainly keep to our own social circles, but we'll still meet each other back at the house after a night out and sit in the kitchen or my room to do the debrief. sometimes i'll go days not seeing either of them despite sharing a house but every now and then someone will softly call up the stairs that 'the heating's on!' or one of us will sneeze and the other two will yell 'bless you!' through the walls. the lack of interaction isn't interpreted as dislike in ways it would have been even last year, because we're all just old enough to be past that now and settled enough in our friendship not to worry about it. idk. uni is very loud and unsettling a lot of the time so it's been really sweet to see how almost boringly comfortable final year is.