#cuz to me THATS the thing that spoke to me most and its a shame that its just not talked about enough

[kaladinkholins]

i know I've mentioned my interpretation of mizu's gender a million times on here but i don't think i ever fully elaborated on it.

so on that note i just wanna ramble about that for a bit. basically, it's my reading of the show that mizu is nonbinary, so let me dig into that.

putting the rest under the cut because it ended being pretty long lol. also here have a cute mizu pic of her being happy and most at ease with herself, symbolised by her letting her hair down. <3 ok let's proceed.

okay note that nonbinary is an umbrella term, and applies to a vast range of gender identities, but it's my personal preference to use it as is, simply because i'm not a fan of microlabels. more power to you if you are though, but anyway.

essentially when i refer to mizu as nonbinary it means that i interpret mizu as a woman, but not ONLY a woman. not strictly a woman. she is also a man. she is also neither of these things, she is something in between, while at the same time she is none of these at all. i've said as much many times, but i just don't want people to think that by nonbinary it inherently means a "third androgynous gender" that essentially turns the gender binary into a gender trinary. not only is that going against what the term nonbinary was crafted for (to go against rigid boxes and categorisation of gender identities), but also, not all nonbinary people fall under that category or definition, and that's definitely not the way i interpret mizu.

also, before anyone fights me on this, let me clarify further that gender means something different to everyone. it's not your biological sex or physical characteristics. but at the same time, gender is not mere presentation. you can be a trans woman and still present masculine—either because you're closeted and forced to, or because you just want to—and either way, that doesn't take away from your identity as a woman. same goes for trans men. if you're a trans man but you wear skirts and don't bind or don't get top surgery, that doesn't make you any less of a man. because gender non-conformity exists, and does not only apply to cis people! some lesbians are nonbinary and prefer using he/him pronouns while dressing masculinely, but that doesn't mean they're a man, or that they're any less of a lesbian. neither does this mean that they're a cis woman.

the thing about queer identities in general is that, like i said, they mean something different to everyone, because how you identify—regardless of your biological attributes and fashion or pronouns—is an extremely personal experience. so a nonbinary person and a gnc cis woman's experiences might have plenty of overlap, but what distinguishes between the two is up to the individual. there's no set requirements to distinguish you as one or the other, but it's up to you to decide what you identify as, based on what you feel. either way, by simply identifying yourself as anything under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you are already communicating to the world that you are not what a conservative, cisheteronormative society wants you to be.

which is why i find all this queer infighting on labels to be so ridiculous. because we're all fighting the same fight; the common enemy is a societal structure that divides us into set roles and expectations purely based on our biological parts. that's why biological essentialism in the queer community is a fucking disease. because by arguing that women are inherently weak and fragile and soft and gentle and must be protected from evil ugly men, while men are inherently strong and angry and violent and exploitative of women, these people are advocating for the same fucked up system that marginalises and abuses women as well as effeminate and/or gay men.

anyway. i'm going on a tangent. this was meant to be a blue eye samurai post. so yeah back to that— the point i'm trying to make is that there's no one way to identify as anything, and everyone views gender in a specific way.

so with that being said, yes you can definitely interpret mizu as a gnc cis woman and that's a totally valid reading. however, interpreting her as nonbinary or transmasc also doesn't take away from her experiences with misogyny and female oppression, because nonbinary and transmasc folks also experience these things.

me, personally, i view her as nonbinary but not necessarily or always transmasc because i still believe femininity and womanhood is an inherent part of who mizu is. for example, from what we've seen, she does not like binding. it does not give her gender euphoria, but is instead very uncomfortable for her both physically and mentally, and represents her suppressing her true self. which is why when she "invites the whole" of herself, she stands completely bare in front of the fire, breasts unbound and hair untied. when she is on the ship heading to a new land in the ending scene, she is no longer hiding her neck and the lack of an adam's apple. we can thus infer that mizu does not have body dysmorphia. she is, in fact, comfortable in her body, and relies on it extremely, because her body is a weapon. instead, what mizu hates about herself is her face—her blue eyes. she hates herself for her hybridised identity, hates herself for being a racial Other. hates that she has no home in her homeland. these are not queer or feminist themes, but postcolonial ones.*

* and as a tiny aside on this subject, i really do wish more of the fandom discussion would talk about this more. it's just such an essential part to reading her character. like someone who's read homi k bhabha's location of culture and has watched this show, PLEASE talk to me so we can ramble all about how the show is all about home and alienation from community. please. okay anyway—

nevertheless, queer and feminist themes (which are not mutually exclusive by the way!) are still prevalent in her story, though they are not the main issue that she is struggling with. but she does struggle with it to some extent, and we see this especially during her marriage with mikio, where we see her struggle in women's domestic spaces.

on the other hand, though, she finds no trouble or discomfort in being a man or being around other men—even naked ones—and does not seem stifled by living as one, does not seem all that bothered or uncomfortable navigating through men's spaces. contrast this to something like disney's mulan (1998), where we do see mulan struggle in navigating through men's spaces, as she feels uncomfortable being around so many men, always feeling like she doesn't belong and that she's inherently different from them. mizu has no such experiences like this, as her very personality and approach to life is what can be categorised as typically "masculine". she is straightforward and blunt. her first meeting with mikio, she tells him straight to his face that he's old while frowning and raising a brow at him. she approaches problems with her muscles and fists (or swords), rather than with her words or mind. compare this with mulan, who, while well-trained by the end of the movie, still uses her sharp wits rather than brute strength. this is a typically "feminine" approach. it's also the approach akemi relies on throughout the show—through her intelligence and persuasive tongue, she navigates the brothel with ease. mizu, in contrast to someone like mulan and akemi, struggles with womanhood and femininity, and feels detached from it.

thus, in my opinion, mizu is not simply a man, nor is she simply a woman. she is both. man and woman. masculine and feminine. she has to accept both, rather than suppress one or the other. her name means water. fluid.

as a side note, while i do believe mizu is nonbinary, i also primarily use she/her pronouns but this is a personal preference. i find it's easier, plus it's what the creators use, and because, in general, being nonbinary simply doesn't necessitate the use of they/them pronouns. nonbinary is not just a third gender. it's about breaking the binary, in any which way, and that's exactly what mizu does.

also, i'd also like to mention that one of show's head of story even referred to her with the term "nonbinary", rather than simply "androgynous" (see pic below). and it's possible this could be a slip up on his part, in which he believes the terms are interchangeable (they're not btw), but regardless i find it a very interesting word choice, and one that supports my stance.

so anyway yeah that's my incredibly long rambling post.

TL;DR nonbinary mizu rights 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 congrats if you reached the end of this btw. also ily. unless you're a TERF in which case fuck off. ok i'm done.

[bkdkink]

Do you have any fic recs? I’m on a bkdk binge after reading your fic!

HO HO STRAP IN ANON AND GET READY ITS GONNA BE A LONG ONE (also oergiemgremgi idk which fic you read but im happy you read it thank you sm~) 

Okay so first, im gonna get some one-shots out of the way---yes, they’re all Explicit. these are only a few out of the gold that is bkdk one-shots out there. there’s lots of good unpublished threads on twitter, too. 

Not So Common Ground:  ABO-verse, deku’s a serial killer omega. he meets bakugou alpha and finds out they got some secrets in common. hot. thats all i gotta say. 

Revenge, And a Little More: Deku’s a succubus. you can figure out where it goes from there. I thought his personality was adorable though??? 

On the Edge: okay, so this is smut but with feelings. it’s short, simple, but written so....like, the tone is so soft all around??? like what our two idiots could be once they’ve graduated and have calmed down and just---spoke with action and little words??? idk but it’s a good one-shot that hits my kinks so-- 

It’s Gonna Take a Superman To Sweep Me Off My Feet: this is just. im ngl it’s just kinky ok? the tears, the verbal stuff--sheesh. well written.  

whatever you’ve done, just bury it so this isn’t a one-shot, but it’s a short 3 chapters so im gonna put it here. abo verse again, deku and kacchan had broken up, but yknow. things are complicated. katsuki lost his quirk. its complicated. ends with a happy note though~ 

mistakes: maaaannnn look. i like the simple things ok? after-party s*xytimes? bratty deku? bakugou swears a lot? a fwb vibe? it doesn’t have to be super explicit if it’s got all that. 

okay, now let’s move on to some longer fics. most are in progress, but they’ve all been updating regularly! 

Swap it out:  not rated. in progress. bakugou and deku switch personalities on a dare and have to behave like each other to the whole class. Feelings slowly start ensuing. It’s super cute!!!! has it’s funny moments, especially after you get past the first chapter. katsuki is adorable as he starts crushing on deku!!! aaaaaa!!!!! 

boy meets evil: Explicit. in progress mind the tags basically, bakugou is the son of lucifer and attends an all boy’s catholic school where he meets guilt-ridden shame-filled deku. i really just wanna hug deku. i think it shows a lot of promise so far--promise of what? im not sure, but its there and has my interest. 

Night Out: Explicit. in progress ABOverse,  deku’s a stripper. bakugou is SUPER into it. i only read the first two chapters but i love the author so the rest is probably legit???? 

Howl: Explicit. in progress it’s only 2 chapters in, and it’s been a couple months since its updated, but the author expressed wanting to continue so i imagine its not abandoned! ABOverse again, i like the characterizations a LOOOTTT. college au as well, looks like there’s room for some pining so HNNNGGG 

glacier: Explicit. in progress but close to the end. MIND. THE. TAGS. I cannot stress that enough i personally don’t, yk, get off on reading smut anyway, im usually in it for the giggles. so for me reading this with those tags, its less about the ....“smut” and more about the writing and characterizations. bakugou is unhinged and provides an exciting and suspenseful read, like an antagonist you hate to love, and deku is out here suRVIVING by any means necessary. its all about the suspense dude. its has me on my toes most chapters. tbh i cant decide how i want it to end but i can tell the author knows how its going to do so, and i cant wait to see how it plays out. 

Vicious. Explicit. Complete. i’ve...never read it actually. but uh. sounds interesting i think. fake marriage. they’re hero partners. joins a cult and....stuff happens. 

The Night We Met. Mature. Complete. look. this is soooo well written. the author wanted to make it seem like poetry, and i think they succeeded in doing so. but pleASE understand that this is heavy af. i will never likely, read this again because of how damn HEAVY this was, at least for me. it’s almost triggering to my anxiety?? and i don’t even have. like. serious anxiety??? it has a happy ending though!!! bakugou can’t die, and deku is reincarnated and bound to met him in every life. 

I’m Friends with the Monster in my Closet: Mature. In progress. haven’t read it yet!!! but apparently deku is out here being non-human and creepy and he’s baku’s bff!!! halloween is just around the corner, so why not dive into something spooky like this??? 

Quiet Rapture: Explicit. In progress. ill always rec this classic ABOverse fic. well-written. well characterized. deku isn’t your average omega (thats the shit i like if you couldn’t tell) baku is smitten. i stopped reading about....14 chapters in?? but i imagine it’s still going strong. 

Persephone: Teen. Complete. super cute. baku and deku grow up as best friends then become more. they also grow up with shinsou and he gets a lot of attention and love in this fic too, so if you’re a shinsou stan, here you go! deku has a quirk as well! his dad is written suuuperrr well and lovable. bakugou and deku are oblivious and adorable and just. this fic gives me the fuzzies. only 7 chapters but they’re LOOOONNNNGG. 

these are all mostly from my bookmarks. i have some others, but this has gotten long enough as it is. i love being asked for recs though, so don’t be afraid to send me some or ask me for some!!!! 

[zoidham]

F!!RE - Devoted to Black Fashion & Lifestyle

ARTicle One:

Introduction. 

On Black Masculinity in Fashion

“Masculinity is not measured by your bicep size or sexual prowess but is a quality that is characterized by being affectionate, sincere, and responsible.” - Juwanza Kunjufu 

Hey Now kinfolk, I am Zoid Hæm, and in these personal letters I will be reflecting on the Black Lifestyle as it pertains to #Fashion, #Soul, and #Art. I have chosen the name F!!RE for this experience to pay homage to the young black artists of the Harlem Renaissance who shocked the world with a scathing peek into the mind of young and free black folks with their one issue magazine simply called Fire!!.(Source): https://bit.ly/2GwIIY0

Blackness, in its constant evolution is of my greatest interest, for as Arthur Jafa (@anamibia) said in his interview for I-D magazine with Virgil Abloh “…blackness isn’t just relevant to black people. It’s an ontological formation thats seeking to understand the world. It’s about the possibility for a different way to occupy earth, to exist in it. (Source): https://bit.ly/2m3ygzn

So here I sit at this cross section of fashion and soul, asking myself what does my external experience tell me about my inner world? And since the former spews out of the latter I see a fluid evolution spiraling up, beckoning at the fringe of our reality like an avant-garde symbol, hated and misunderstood like all mysteries shrouded in blackness. Excitement billows out of me, as my existence becomes a thorough definition of the contradictions in my black consciousness; like vines, unconfined by the square bricks of this society, I sprawl out, creating branches, bridges, and underground railroads, breaking out of learned labels and ushering a new wave. A wave filled with bubbles that when they touch, combine and crash on this countries shores of Thought, making us all the more unique and free.

“Cultivate your Uniqueness.” 

Free Hugs and Painted Nails:

Today's letter focuses in on black masculinity through the lens of fashion. It must have been the summer of 2011 when I sported boastful yet crude painted nails, and a small white button that said “Free Hugs". My body type was bulky, aggressive, and shouted, “Angry black man!" I had just finished my career in football, thankfully, and found myself hustling in the streets of New York City, as green as a rose stem among the grey concrete jungle, who's edifices and faces made me feel small, innocent, and utterly naive. 

Yet in this place I began to shift my image, first my thoughts, by asking any and all types why they are who they are. Mind you as the son of two preachers who never went to a house party or drank till college, even with my years at university there was still so much I didn’t know; but what I found is that when I approached folk they were always very guarded and unsure. I always blamed racist propaganda for their hesitancy but then I began to think more about what my image was saying to them. To them and this society my look gave off certain triggers in them, and by them I mean all types from old, young, white, black, brown, men, women, LGBTQ, CEO, or homeless. Few if any paid me any mind, or quickly gave glance and turned the other way. 

Haha a hilarious anecdote that actually made me change my entire “costume” was that one day, walking out by Central Park I saw the actor Michael Cera! Yep, Mr. Superbad himself, I was such a big fan I blurted out as we came close to each other “Holy crap! It’s Michael Cera!” Haha and true to form, with a hilarious face and mannerisms he looked up, eyes widened, and immediately turned around, and scampered the opposite direction down the street. I was a little hurt and shocked, but still laughed. It was at this point I was like YO! What do they see?

I went home, a 6 floor walk up in Chinatown, and looked in the mirror and began to take some notes. Broad chest, big beard, long locs, rather run-of-the-mill black man, how boring! I knew inside me was something that defied all definition, that I was a spirit teeming with affection and love for my fellow humans and wanted to be able to sit and express with them. But what I typically was receiving was the energy of dismissal and guardedness. I had known this well from black women at university who used me as a whipping boy to take their frustrations out on all black men, while I received, in screaming opposition from white women, so much attention it felt disingenuous, for them any n!gga would do; but now this was pervasive… I realized that my presence scared people, and that they weren’t actually seeing the REAL me.

I paced in my small apartment unit, thumbing a small button in the jacket I just bought, mentally drawing up how I wanted to present myself. “Alright first we need to lose this weight, so we can fit into all these cool clothes, but also fit better in these rooms of artists and intellects, and then lets keep the beard and hair nappy, edge is important, but lets dress in chic cheap fashion, cuz we are super broke and are only going to be able to afford the thrift store…” As I was thinking I pulled out the button from my pocket and read what it said “Free Hugs” almost unconsciously I pinned it to my jacket and didn’t think much of it.

The next day was Friday and I typically made my way to the museums since they were free. I bought a bottle of FireFly ice tea vodka and headed to my friends pad down by wall street so we all could get faded and go see some art. As I was walking down the street, I saw faces smiling at me, and so I smiled back, not used to New Yorkers showing any emotion besides anger I was a little surprised but kept pushing. After hopping off the train, I turned the corner and a short portly jewish women threw  her arms up and said “Yes I need one today!” And gave me a big long hug. I just stood there shocked by this stranger squeezing me, like I was her grandson, but before the hug was over I retuned the energy. She smiled and walked on by. As she left I looked at my reflection in one of the wall street buildings and saw that I still had the “Free Hugs” button on my jacket, and smiled thinking, how bout that! A free hug trumps propaganda, age, fear, race, etc.  all they needed was the permission to show affection. 

Fast foward to half the bottle gone, and a small loft full of young, gifted and black artist, all dancing and singing to a Stevie Wonder record. I had painted a haggard green sweat shirt with the word Free Hugs in big red letters and donned it as I joined the harmonious voices that filled the room with the joy of a Friday afternoon. I went over to the kitchen to fill my glass, when I realized I had gotten some paint on my nails, and began to peel it off when my crush at that time, a stunning orange afro having queen said, "Naw leave it! In fact here!” She came over with some nail polish and painted quick little designs on my nails in green, red, and yellow. My first reaction was wait I can’t wear nail polish, but when I looked at my hands I became enamored, my how strange and unique, these dainty hands on a Rasta brute! This was just the right amount of contradiction and juxtaposition of strength and vulnerability I was looking for. Leave it to black women to bring a dream to reality.

And thats exactly what happened, when we hit the streets in that Friday sunset, New York finally saw me, and opened like the flowers in sunlight on the corner of Strawberry Fields. Over the next few months, my body slimmed, my smile grew, my nails where chipped and covered with color haphazardly, and hugs clung to my body like the tight fitting cheap fashion I found. But most importantly my thoughts began to change, because I was engaging with more people from all walks of life. I ask myself to this day, did the fashion open them up or me up? 

Fashion is metaphor touted as a mask, there to conceal or reveal our inner truth, and for me I found a unique edge to walk, one where I hold space with masculinity that only knows mixtape lyrics and football, as well as a space that spoke of Basquiat’s and Warhol’s, the fickleness of love in any gender or sexuality and the need for soul and romance. I am still the minority in most rooms I walk into, typically they don't know what to think of me, I hear little conversations in the corner, ”He must be gay, or bi, no no look he’s with ball players and gangsters, naw naw he has lots of girlfriends, yes yes hunny he can get it, but he curbed all of us and I’m fine so wats the deal, oh he’s different.”

Different… little do they know I’m just like them, expressing all that I am. Removing the labels and images and thoughts that society has forced upon me, left me blank a slate to be creative. Still I have much more to remove and redefine in this ocean of blackness that is my being. One can be masculine in a dress, one can be feminine in baggy jeans, lessen we forget #STONEWALL and what those activists fought for, the freedom of image. Culturally and generational things shift, the meaning we put behind garments and fabric is all made up, just like us; and no one need be ridiculed or shamed for making their fit…fit. So what are you wearing today? In any way, you look good on you.

Posivibes,

hæm

Credits:

Image one by @johnyu.co 

for Westword Artopia 2019  

[shadymultiverse]

Its really hard to not fucking reach out for validation. I know i wont get it and i knwo thathg litteraly everyone who spoke to me these past couple of days will not get what im trying to say anyway.

The gardest part is that I tried ti acknowledge them and to validate their feelings. I felt like they all made some valid points. I was obly hitting up my one friend when i needed aomething, but prior to getting to that point i tried to be a real friend to her. I really thought we had something real. She completely disproved all of that though. Leading with "i know we arent good friends" i guess we werent really.

When i was suicidal I didnt feel like I could confide in her. I didnt feel like they would care or understand. I hadd tried to tell them i wasnt ok but they just... disregarded the emotions. Every time i tried to talk they walked away from the conversation. If it got heavy at all they didnt want to have it.

So I jsut stopped trying.

I guess i dok nt really know how to be a friend to someone. She said you were always kind but thats not a friendship. I thought thats exactly what a friendship is. Your kind to each other, you laugh with each other and you seek each other out over other people because you like each other. I dont aprticularly like people. I cant spend much time with anyone or i get overwhelmed with all of their emotional bullshit, but i try to be as good a friend as i can.

But really... i dont want friends. Ive never had them for any amount of time. Ive never had anyone that ever wanted to stick around for more than a year or two.

Up until tuesday I had four exceptions to that reality.

Now i just have one.

I think its funny that she looked over my other friends shoulder saw her name and just fucking ran with it. I wasumping her into a category but she decide di was talking dhit about her behind her back. I think thats such a fucking childish notion.

Soemthing shes super fucking agressive about but i happen to know she does all the time. And whats even funnier... I wasmt tlaking shit. God. I just hate that its considered that to ever even mention anothe rperson i must be a shit talker.

Is it shit talking when jts truth? When its just mentioning someone? When its barely even a thing? She just fucking took off with it and fucking ran away

She shamed me as well. And she doubted me

If you were suicidal....

Not if, nah, i was suicidal.

Verything about this stupidity is in the phrasing. If i was suicidal. The fact thay i didnt like you game didnt mean that i didnt like you. No it qas all in the way that you went about telling me how much you ficning hated it. The entire time we playe dit. You fucking belitted and put it down. You treated thw game like it was the biggest waste of your time.

Im sorry that i tried to do somethi g fun instead of fucking sitting in a tiny ass room getting fucking wasted.

I think its important to be realistic about what and who upset you. Which is why i said you and her when speaming to my first friend about all of this.

What frustraits me the most is that Chanda assaulted me verbally so quicy and entirely that i didnt even get to rpocess what i had said to aubrey or what she had responded with. It became a out Chanda and the chip on her shoulder.

I realky dont want to talk to her again but i also hate the way that it was left. The totality of how little she acknowledged my pain.

Nd yet i know i hit a lot of nerves. I have to remember thag. I hit nerves and thats why she blew up the way she did. It was really clear by how agressive and falsely nice she was being from begining to end. It was clear to me that she was absolitely fucking furious with me. I dont think it qas so much with me but her own inability to acknowledge her fualta.

No one wants to think that them spending 3 hours belittling a game is going to damage someones fucking heart as much as it can. When something is am extension of yourself and someone steps all over it its fucking hard to feel anything except stupid for trying to include anyone in your stuff.

And when every time you end up hanging out with someone its only because you reached out to them, you took the time to talk to them. Or they happened to be soemwhere you ended up. They never try so of course you focus on what you can get from them instead of what you can give them. When your already doing everything you can...

I see it all over the place in my world. Ive got so few people that actually reach out. Just the one, really. She texts me i text her, we call each other. Sometimes we go weeks without talking but it doesnt bother me cuz i onow that shes busy or im busy or whatever.

Ive done three experiments with those other three friends to see how long it would take for them to message me first. Every time i ended up being the one to reach out.

When in a room together i tried to communicait and i tried to be open ut i meber felt heard. And clearly i wasnt because my feels came as a total shock when revealed.

I was the only person activy trying to be a friend. And maybe thats ebcause my biew of friendhaip amd their view of friendship are different from mine but these are new a bounderies that i am trying to fucning establishm bounderies so i dont feel used and ignored and otherwise mistrwated by my friends.

I want to feel ehard by them. I want to be able to have real conversatuons with them about anythjng and everything. I dont want to feel like they are belittling me about tje things i like. I want to get text messages like the ones i send. I want to have open and valuable communication. I want truat. I want people to understand the different between talking shit and establishing a pattern and getting advice.

I dont want to feel so cornered that i get viscious if they are someone i care about. I do not like that i have been pushed into being viscious thia week ebcause i like to be mean and when i release that person she takes ober and she is a truely cruel human being with mor egard for anyones emotiona. I like her because shes firm and shes realistic and shes gets shit done ut ahe also kind of scares me and she ruins my hard work....

Of courae if i would just let her take the reigns i might actually be out of my situation by now knstead of circling the suicidal drain off and on for the last 6 years....

[mamonthemoon]

So about the 5 of CUPS.  I am getting in touch with writing and music and art and so happy to have access to a computer to do these things.  I could not flow like this, as I wanted, at my pace, on my phone.  It is SO great to have a computer again.  I am blessed, I am thankful.  I am so happy, today I logged into Soundcloud to find Jan and Taylor collab and made music and it just touched my heart and made me so happy.  Also talkin and chillin beside dont know her name but shes a Leo, I could tell she was more on point and driven and aware the first time i saw her come into the cafeteria one night.  Not like the others.  A good thing.  She is having some struggles with people evidently, being different, and them talking about her business, ay dont worry about it their petty basic losers. Bitches. I also got a nice comment 6 months ago on a track I did, “perfection” - how nice. I wish I had been able to make music and tracks through these past few years... I felt trapped, unable to express and create.. So I just sat in my car and sang... Ive been without a computer for the past 5 years WOW! I set out to evolve- to break my internet addiction, I wanted to be in real life, and not in my own little bubble, I wanted to be aware and grounded and discipline myself.  Well, I sure do appreciate this computer access now, and the internet, and everyone’s creativity and the era we’re in is so beautiful in that way, considering how awful the fucking world is! Like all these churches are you for real? and all these heathens that lie cheat steal? Crazy! War... Hate.. Rape.... Oppression.. Slavery.. Injustice... Women under men............ all this.... I was shielded from for most my life, ignorant and dumb and aloof. Its better that way!!! I sought to understand though... big mistake!!!! Understand I have..... Damn. Shoulda asked and prayed for good things! Not something like understanding! Wow dont do that unless you want to go through heaven and hell and everything in between, chaos, mundane, and the unseen.  So much... Off on a tangent again.... Point is... I am EMBRACING the 5 of cups. I literally stand like that.... I stood like that figure today, on the hill across the empty basin up the hill where I walk to be with nature, the little bit that is there, amongst the trash and brush.  I asked Jesus to heal my heart if he exists, and told him he knows I have lived like him, at least more than pretty much most people, and that hey maybe I havent, and I dont know, obviously Im doing something wrong.  I cried, because my heart needed me to, my body needed me to. And it felt good to, with the wind, or fresh air, far away from the building and people.  I cried and spoke to Ayla. I feel I will be with her in one year.  I am saddened by our seperation and how long it is taking, and I want her to know she is SO loved.  In fact, it is the only reason I live. I typed love.... and perhaps that is the correct sentence here.  Ayla is the only reason I love.  It is true.  I never loved before her.  I never loved until I became a mother.  And I loved everyone with that love, too.  Mostly her of course, an overwhelming neverending supply of love, JUST LIKE THE SUN.  Ayla is Jesus. And so am I, as a result of loving her and giving my all to her like I have. PURE LOVE. I prayed for it and I got it.  It was so painful, before and after, her. But she is Joy. She is grace.  She is everything.  She is my teacher.  She is SO beautiful.  And I cant stand to see her cry without crying.  That image is burned in my brain.  I was happy at the moment, starting my new life with psycho, briefly, he was treating me well.  I was putting in work to make that nasty house a home.  I was loving again, and being reciprocated in that love and affection.  BUT NOTHING COMPARES TO YOU. AYLA RAY.  I mourn for that I have been unable to accomplish housing you and me.  I have been unable to attain a living situation.  And it is SO frustrating.  I believe things can get better.  I believe in me.  I believe in my strength and perseverence, and I trust my intuition.  I have been working very hard to be strong.  I have worked very hard to be sober.  Worked to be creative.  Worked to be spiritually sound.  Worked to have greater understanding.  And I have been getting feedback from the people who work here and run this place, as well as doctor and social worker type person at the Internal Medicine Clinic today, positive feedback and thanks for sharing my experience, and told that I am wise and have a greater understanding, etc.  It didnt even feel good to receive the praise, I was too busy extracting what I had to say, and it is exhausting and frustrating because the pain stays inside me, and all I have to do is wait. and wait. and wait. but its okay.  I am happy.  I have a place to be, I have some people to talk to, and we talk and then all wander away, its perfect.  I have had hard times and been very frustrated but through it all I am grateful and see the silver lining for sure.  I am not dwelling on the past, on the wrongs I was wronged recently.  Im used to it!!!!!!  I accept it.  My car was on its way out, and Ive never been in a good living situation anyway.  The way Ive lived, being in this homeless shelter really isnt that hard.  Except that my body doesnt appreciate the shit food and eating meat, and I have to be careful about my sugar intake.  I feel awful after I eat.  I will be so relieved and at ease when I can smoke mari again.  I hate eating.  Yet, Im always hungry now it seems.  My weight is 115.  Im on track, perfect weight.  Just my body doesnt feel good due to my nervous system. And these people dont want to prescribe me Ativan.  Im pretty sure the song Jan and Taylor did, the lyrics talked about the generic name for it.. loradiazepine, or something.  Ill have to check.  The song was titled “Giving up on a Friend”.  It was beautifully prosed and poised. Truly impressive.  So happy inside.  I have really been sad for all my creative lovely friends that died...... drugs, lack of love... parents being not what they needed to be...... crazy, we came from a good area... but.. moreso than in the hood.. i feel like everyone be so isolated. anyway. it made me happy, to stand with those 2 cups left standing.... so many died and spilled... those cups.... what a beautiful world, to hold my Tiffany, Kyle, Des.... they were beautiful sensitive souls and im so sorry this world was so cold! im so sorry i couldnt express and shower them with the love they deserved.. i dont regret or blame myself anymore, because i didnt have the capacity to love... until i had Ayla.  So forgiveness is there.  I needed THEIR love.  Their creativity and spirit lit me up when i was dark and grey.  No one knew how much each other struggled... its so sad.  But I remember how happy I felt being at the community house as i called it.... the boys and their shenanigans....... I also watched young No doubt and Gwen Stefani.. how beautiful... I cant believe I never watched the music videos when I was younger I loved her! She inspired me so much... so different... I guess she was to me, what Billie Eilish is to Imani.  I want to write a letter to Imani. I love and miss her.  She is truly ahead of her time.  I cant wait til I can get some money and send her a letter.  Im gonna have to go on googlemaps and find their house so I can know the address cuz I dont remember or rather, never logged into my brain, the house numbers. I would totally adopt Imani.  It makes me sad the things I cant do because of money.  What I can do, is be there for them in other ways.  In the spirit ways, creative, being aware paying attention to them, telling them how beautiful and wonderful they are.  It made me sad how depressed and angry I was, Imani got to hear me straight up raw bitching... but I belive it truly helped her transition with her dad, and know that shes not alone, and that I see what he does and hate it, and that I have problems with my dad too.  And that her dad is a bastard who doesnt support her dreams and creativity as much as he should, because he had to repress it in himself. And that you have to hold onto your creativity, no ones going to help you, basically.  I have to reiterate that.  She is truly passionate and creative and wise and mature way beyond her years. I know she gets love from all around, family and friends, Im really hoping my absence hasnt left a dent in her life or heart, truly, sometimes.... sometimes you know, I wish someone will miss me or realize the hole thats left by my absence.. but I dont wish that on her.  I want her to be happy and good. For real. But as for my daughter.... I cant say I am okay with her being happy without me.  I have struggled with the selfishness of that.  I WANT her to be taken care of and happy.... I even thanked the women who replaced me, for being in her life, glad she had females but come to find out Oriana bitch.. fucking slapped her... and THATS why fucker wouldnt let me talk to her and dicked me around whil eim busting my ass trying to work my shit pay cooking jobs but hold Ayla top priority and just be left in the dust with NO control, me.. not respected. But now I have evidence in my phone from conversations with worm saying these things, if it will even matter........ its a shame this last bastard isnt going to be helping me with the law and with my daughter and case... I mean I cant really accept him into my life being that he acted how he did and talked to me and berated me after praising me like he did, like a straight up classic psycho, but ive never met a man so bipolar SHIT....... ANYWAY, maybe I can date a lawyer though..or hangout at the law library.. but i dont want to run into him.  IDK what will become of this, IDK what my path is, But I am focusing on the Two upright cups, The cups still standing.  The strong survive... I used to think everyone would make it til old age, except the rare car accident etc... I had NO IDEA so many people would die... so young.. every year...aiy. So I see it as survival of the fittest but its no joke.  I am still struggling.  Where my friends reached for drugs, partying, relief, escape... I sought to really make it for real and not get sucked into that life that I saw would drag people down.  Why did I see this and they did not? Is it because I was more of a loner, less able to socialize or fit in or pretend? I dont know... I know that.... I didnt connect very well to people and was pretty much isolated more than others.... also.. sexually void.... so i did not have those intense feelings of attachment or love like others had... it would have been too much for me to handle probably but still, my life was empty and cold and dark and grey.  Still is, a lot, except when I bring my conscious energy and intent alive... but subconsciously... all is not good... My moon is in the 4th house, and until my home environment is good, until i feel secured and loved and family...... I will not be well emotionally.  I know this.  Astrology and the occult has truly armed me with knowledge.  Self knowledge, and a tool and friend if you will... guide.. mentor.. something to interact with... something to listen! to be there for me to see, what is going on....Astrology for the core personality and blueprint of what makes a person tick.. what drives them.. how they function... of course a conscious person is harder to decipher, someone who has worked on themselves, to balance out their traits i guess but anyway, people shine as they are! whether exhibiting negative qualities and not shining at all but being muddy and negative, or by being bright and vibrant and strong.. either way, it is seen.  Its not evil lol. stupid man. how can you be against something you know nothing about? that is ignorance. how can you stand for something or against something if you dont even know what IT IS? Lost respect.  That should be a name of a song I will write, or rather, the title of what I have already wrote.  I gota speak it into a beat. Cant stay in this notebook i will inevitably throw away.  It must make it off the page and into something shareable.  I write too much to keep throwing it away.  It all seems too basic for how deep i go, i feel i dont do myself justice i guess. but simple is good.. i am not so hard on other artists! i need to create and let go and not worry about it and just keep at it.  Just like selfies take like 20 shots to get a good one.. haha. done with those. the fact remains. so, 20 tracks to create then, and bam ill have a good one worth sharing.  it is cringing, to listen to some of my stuff for real, from a few years ago, but also deeply giddy satisfying like a gift from my past self, an adult, channeling my inner child, i am ridiculous, while everyone else is trying to be so serious and hard and rap. it was nice to hear real music from my friends of the past. love in my heart. 2 cups remain standing. 3 are down, indeed, much has been lost and spilled.  I was contemplating today how sad it is people are appreciated after they pass. and i thought of how Kathy joshs mom said Nanny said something similar. and i think how i had a card i never sent her, with cactus on it, when i was in napa, but shit got serious and i never could send it, and then i just ended up keeping it, and i think i gave it away to salvation army in a little cheap gold frame idk? like the conflict to let go or follow through, and when somethings old and passed.. and when that energy isnt the same.... it traps me up.  but honestly i dont have love for her or for any of his family anymore. i did talk of kathy today to this lady whos next to me’s son earlier when he came in and was friendly, came in again when his moms here and hes so pissy and confrontational like trying to diss me for what? you JUST came in here being nice and whatever and then like hell bent on being an asshole for why? what the hell did i do to you? whatsup with these bipolar men? you aint even a man 21 yrs old so pissy wtf... i sure hope i have better dealings with my daughter when shes a teenager. this kid is retarded anyway, making fun of a handicapped man in front of a woman he talks to.. he was happy to start talkin to me.. and this kid had to just ruin it and diss him for no reason, i wish i would have spoke up about how disrespectful that was and how he made HIMSELF look bad and lost respect for HIMSELF. but i was on vistaril, and the thoughts were there but not the execution. thats why i dont like drugs. plus i couldnt sleep and it made me stuffy in my throat and neck and lymph system aiy im not having it leave my body alone with this shit! youre not pushing this shit on me i will be heard! its a struggle!!!

but ay this kid made my body uncomfortable, stress response with his petty bullshit like damn wtf? gtfo. teenagers for real need to go on a rite of passage, like in the old days. it is NOT RIGHT to have them around!! i truly TRULY believe that! its not healthy for anyone involved!! let them go... let them spread their wings and fly.. let them run into a tree.. let them feel that pain against the night sky, alone, and figure out what to do all by their damn selves! they want to. theyd prefer it. no teenager wants to be trapped. why do we work against nature? can we do something about this? what can we do? what social structure can we put in place to make these wrongs right? I mean, the army is the only way for a young boy or girl to go off on their own? or college- but how appealing is that for a lot of kids, after 15 years of the school system FOR REAL WTF!

I stand for a better world, thats what I stand for. I have incredible morals and ideals, as my venus in sagittarius would suggest. in the 3rd house.. communication, short distance travel, siblings... thats what that house rules, i cant remember what else.  I feel that brotherhood sisterhood of humanity... HUMAN KIND... BE A KIND HUMAN.. like that shirt i saw someone post on tumblr yesterday! SO CUTE! I need that shirt! Id buy it if i had money! HUMANKIND. perfect. yes i am a humanitarian and i love specifically, FIRE it is FIRE with which I LOVE !! SPECIFICALLY higher ideals, higher learning.... long distance travel/exploration/being carefree and adventurous... DIVA, its said, also. yes. I do seek to bring humanity what I have learned. What I have worked so hard to acquire.. understanding.. better ways.. “alternative” methods... theres so many people suffering, people who want help but the help that is offered is no good.... i want to be a person that helps. i always have. but i have assessed. i have reflected over and over, the past, what i have done wrong or why things have gone wrong or bad.  Its really simple when you realize.  You cant help someone who doesnt want help. This is something we hear a lot. So I realized, that Ive wasted to effort or time when, there ARE people out there who would appreciate and benefit from me... i COULD be of value.... i really havent been... im just ari to these people called friends and family. a nobody truly, respected for nothing really, just appreciated for who i am and being there but its just on a shallow level like anyone could really do that, whatever i did, i feel. i dont feel appreciated by my friends and family- i dont. i truly believe this is NOT just a feeling, but reality. and i face it. and i accept it. i accept people i have loved... just dont care, and dont see my depth or care to seek it for themselves or match me in my devotion or dedication to excelling in various ways, of serving, of growing, of giving, of loving. i am tired of being alone, amongst people that supposedly care for me. Adults have only cared what i can do for them. Only children appreciate me on a level that is reciprocated, on a level that i recieve anything nurturing or feel value in interacting... i DONT... i dont find value in interacting with adults really.  I still do it.  I enjoy conversating. but really i could take it or leave it. i appreciate the interactions and conversations, but i really dont care at the same time. i am desperate for attention and aware of it and not seeking it, i know where i come from, i know ive been a people pleaser, i know ive lacked genuine human connection and interaction. i know this. i prefer to be a loner. i like to laugh and interact. its cool. but children are what light me up, children are what serves me, fills me up, fills my cup. So the two cups are Ayla and Imani really, if we want to be symbolic about it in that way. They are kinda like the only people I truly care for.  I have shed everyone else. Even Megan. our interaction was vitally important for me, to have a friend to talk to via internet, but im done caring.... its just happened. maybe it would have happened anyway, i think it would have, but it sticks out in my mind how she said she thinks i have to let go of ayla. ill let go of you bitch. i laid my life on the line for you and she dont fully realize that even though i have told her, tried to tell her in the most humble way possible just showing my heart and what my intentions were. but really let go of my daughter? i mean i did. i DID. makes no difference. i mean, i understand though..... i remember being in Napa with my toddler Ayla and Megan struggling being sober and quitting smoking and using Lavender essential oil all the time, but first i remember how scary her situation was and how scared i was for her, i stood for her, i stood to be strong and support her, but i wont lie the situation didnt look good, and im sure thats how she and everyone else sees me. my strength or true work has not been evident. being a loser has only been evident. but i dont care, i work and work.... they are all basic to me.... i care of course, i mean i wish things coulda been different but im over it i accept what is. and im actually glad i havent been held down by taking care of a child who will ultimately be unhappy and take me for granted.. like how could i ever make it? i wouldnt be able to focus on anything. and i havent made financial career progress as much as ive needed to.. it hurts me that i should be farther along BUT IM NOT. I havent had the support Ive needed. and if i focused on my career and pushed all this aside... neglected my inner child... NOT delved into creativity.... NOT been true and real and fought to be sober when the adults will all tell me i need to be on pills or i need to do this or that.... i realize now i am a true leader...  i have power and peace and presence others do not have... because they have not put the work into it.... what ive put work into is transcendental...it is invisible, mostly unrewarded work. it has real effects.. i mean i had to.. i had to find my own way... forge my own strength. How can one just listen to what others tell them to do? Be a slave? Be a slave to those who hurt me? Obey those who hurt me? Who are blind? Perpetuate this awful cycle of doing what you have to do, and have no joy and work and drink alcohol and tell the kids to go play and leave me alone for real NO hell fucking no. children are beautiful gifts. and these people here.... they do not know how to handle their children, a lot of them, its the typical shit i see everyday. like really. youre not even going to enjoy your kid? just drag them along a miserable life, filled with have to’s? wheres the joy? i wana be around joy and strength and presence and VITALITY! i want a man that cooks for real. and loves and smiles and dances, and is weird a little but also so hott. like i deserve that, no? im really waiting for that situation where i would be of value with WHO I AM and what i have worked so hard to be... this shit aint free! i aint just frollocking around being carefree like people may think, fucking around, not being serious.... I guess im Low key serious.... Low key mike.. low key.. ive thought of him. but im let it go. last time i tried to just send him love he pissed me off and the vibe i had for him changed, i wished i had just left it at appreciating him in my heart, and left out the part where i express it. yeah. shit like that be so frustrating. thats what i dont need is just shit to spoil my day however little and petty or huge and devastating. anyway i was appreciated for things, mostly for listening and being intelligent and witty and beautiful and my body and sex and my effort in cleaning and love for the doggies etc....but it wasnt enough.. he was a drain on me... like a boat with a hole in it, where i have to continuously slosh out the water coming in whilst cleaning bugs off the boat and making sure dogs dont jump off and blah im done just really wow the effort... the draining... the complete draining of my energy... how fast it can go from good to terrible and dangerous for my health..... have to build trust over time.... i will not have sex with a man until we date for awhile... ill say.. but i know this may not be true. i chalk this one up to online, really. if i met him in person, we would have not connected i truly believe that. its only because we started out text messeging, saw each others hearts, but real, NOT compatible. emotionally yes and love yes- we totally experienced what astrology has to say... if he wants to be ignorant thats his perogative, most men dont accept astrology. they think they create themselves so much ahahaha i laugh everytime i say that. they are so stupid. but not all. some believe and see it to be true or to have merit. I sure ventured off from topic of 5 of cups... or did I? its all related. its a ramble. im flowing. man i wish i could relax though. time to hum. man i wish there was good food to eat. nourishing soup. please. PLEASE LORD feed me some good food that will do me good. i need soup so bad. I am totally finding a restaraunt tomorrow and demanding i do dishes or something, in exchange for some soup. I just wonder whats around besides fast food places. Ill have to take the bus probably. I need good food. I feel like I am dying. I dont get the right medicine, the right food..... i just have to be thankful for what i do got. im poor, money wise.. health wise i am also poor majority of the day.. its awful i really hope this changes soon its hard.... im gona lay down.. but its already been 5 hours since ive eaten dinner... i do have crackers... processed crap.. hopefully my body likes it.. man i havent had fruit in HOW LONG. or yogurt. i need yogurt. 

[fadingpersoncollectorstuff-blog]

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What type of driving course reduces insurance?

What type of driving course from the driving school reduces insurance for new drivers?

18 year old with car insurance question?

okay, i live with my parents...daddy has a car and insured it and put himself and my mother under the insurance. On paper, i dont live with my parents. Okay my question is if i get a car and put a different insurance under my moms name will her gettin a car effect the cost of my dads isurance (the only reason i think it will effect dads insurance is that my mom is on his insurance).""

your lowest quote insurance company reviews

your lowest quote insurance company reviews

Insurance company help?

Ok so im getting insurance in manhatten because i live there ..... but my vehicle is garaged in long island ..... I have to tell the insurance company ? and do i have to show proof ? if so what kind of proof is there to show ?

Does auto insurance cover a person or an automobile?What if someone drives your insured car and they have none

If you drive someone's car who has insurance on their car but you don't have any auto insurance and you get in a wreck does their insurance cover it or could you get a ticket ...show more

How much is motorcycle insurance?

What are some things to keep it as cheap as possible? I know taking a safety class can. I`m 19 years old if that means anything. Thanks.

Question about motorcycle insurance.?

I was wondering if anyone could tell me, on average, although there are multiple considerations...how much difference would there be in monthly insurance premiums between a 500cc bike compared to a 650cc bike? I heard that its actually quite a bit of difference, as I think I've heard that anything less than 600 is quite less than anything above 600cc's. I was just wondering if anyone could confirm this, and hopefully give me some estimated figures. Thank you""

""Do you have to have insurance if you don't have a car, just a license?

my parents have USAA auto insurance and i was wondering if i could get my license and be able to drive their cars with me paying for insurance. if i have to pay insurance whats the rate i would have to pay?

Am I required to get rental car insurance if I don't have my own auto insurance?

I am planning to sell my car and cancel my auto insurance. If I want to rent a car, am I required to buy their rental car insurance, since I wouldn't have any other auto insurance otherwise?""

What home owner insurance do I need to purchase?

If I buy an apartment and pays the HOA fee, does that cover the basic homeowner insurance?""

What is the best and most cost efficient way to move?

We are moving from Atlanta, Georgia to Boston, Massachusetts. I was researching possibly renting a moving truck, but I'm having difficulty finding the best option. I was considering U-haul, but from other message boards, I got the impression that as the costs add up with insurance and mileage and whatnot, it appeared to not be the best option out there (or maybe it is in comparison to other companies, I am not sure). Does anyone have any suggestions or past experience with a good moving company? We are looking for the best price option, and possibly a company where we could pick up the truck in Georgia and drop it off somewhere in Mass. **the trip is roughly 950 miles""

State farm or farmers for auto insurance?

I have a farmers policy for my auto insurance. My agent never replies nor picks up the call. I want to change the agents. I am thinking if I should check with with state farm. Do you know if state farm has better or same or expensive rate for the similar coverage than farmers?

""If your home is valued at 73,000, why would your insurance company raise the coverage to 101,000?""

If my house burns down, would they really pay out 100,000 or just the property value ?""

What things can a teen do to help lower the cost of car insurance?

I'm sixteen and seventh months, and plan on getting my license in about two months. But money is a little tight now at my house, and when my brother got his license on his sixteenth birthday (two years ago) the car insurance my parents pay for jumped an extra 1200 dollars a year. So what can a teen do to lower the cost? IE; what type of car should I be driving, the best time to get my license, etc. I'm willing to hear any ideas. :) Oh and if it means anything, my parents are with State Farm. Thanks in advance for the help.""

How much will my first car and the insurance come to roughly?

i can start driving lessons in January. How much, on average, would my first car cost? and how much on average would the insurance be? Also.. What would you advise for a girls first car? :) Leave your answers below please, Thanks!xx""

Whats the cheapest insurance company you could find?

I'm 18 years old, just passed my test, and the cheapest quote I could find is LV at 2600 on a 1.2 litre 06 reg corsa.. Help guys??? D:""

Why is motorcycle insurance so expensive?

...for so many people. I see complaints everywhere about sport bike insurance being so crazy. I just bought my first bike, 2 months ago. 1 month after getting my license. I'm 18 years old. My first bike was a 2004 Yamaha R6. I used Progressive online and put in everything accurately, driving history, motorcycle history (0 years), first bike being a 600cc sport bike. And I got quoted 300 dollars a year... bought it in full. Why is it so expensive for others with good history?""

Where on earth can I find affordable maternity insurance?!?

I didnt have it with my son and we are looking to get health insurance but all the plans that are decently priced (under $350/month) dont cover maternity. even if I could JUST find a maternity insurance that would be great! does anyone have or know of any insurance companies that offer maternity coverage? if so what are the names? heres a little info we live in FL we have one child my husband and I are 20 and 21 years old if you know of any insurance that will have affordable rates please let me know so I can get a quote!

Do you have to have car insurance to drive a motorbike or a car?

hi there i was wondering do i have to have car insurance to drive a motorbike or a car ? oh and how much do you think they would charch a 19 year old guy oh and do i pay weekly or monthly or yearly ?

Motorcycle insurance cost?

I was in an aciident a year ago it was my fault. I was driving a truck. Now that I'm 21 I want a cruiser such as the boulevard or vulcan, maybe even a shadow. I would like to know will my insurance be high? I don't have a license to drive one yet. I will be taking a class so I can learn the basice then buy a beater to learn to ride better before I get what I want. It will most likely just to get to work and school.""

Will car insurance pay for the following:?

I caused a damage to my car the other day by trying to pass between a truck parked in one lane of the road and the rest of the road. In another words there was some road works going on and only very tiny space for cars to pass. When trying to get through very slowly, I got stucked and when trying to reverse I broke my front bumper and done some other small cosmetic damages to the side of the vehicle. I am fully insured, my insurance is going to expire in about 2 months and I never made a claim before. I have bad experience with insurance companies in general and now am not sure how to follow and make insurance company to pay for the damages. There are some other damages done to the vehicle, for instance, a small stone from vehicle driving in front of me hit my windscreen and caused a small crack. I have no idea how to follow up and make the ins.company to pay. I am fed up with all travel, health and other insurance companies that just make excuses and never pay.""

""If a trucking company is self-insured,what are deductibles?

I've been told that I have to cover damages in a backing accident between two trucks belonging to the same self-insured company.

2010 Camaro LT 16 year old insurance?

I am a 16 year old and I want a 2010 Camaro. I'm not being ridiculous and getting a brand new Camaro 2ss. I am getting a used Camaro LT. I'm really responsible with straight A's and I was wondering how much the average insurance company would charge for a car look this and a guy like me.

What is the cheapest car to insure?

My Boyfriend has just passed his theory test today and has his practical test in a few weeks. He's 19 years old and we live in England. He wants a cheap car to insure but all are really expensive the cheapest insurance he can get is on a Romeo Mini for 2,500 a year. So i was wondering if anyone could tell me which is the cheapest car to insure and who with? Thank you for your help, Secret""

""Insurance question I need help with, any help would be great?""

I need some help here... The question is Hans sells his car to Pieter and now has no car and no need of auto insurance. Hans calls his State Farm agent to tell him to transfer his auto insurance to Pieter. The agent tells Hans: A. The transfer will not take place until that night at 12:01 AM B. That Hans will need to put Pieter on his policy as an additional driver C. That Hans must keep paying the premium until the end of the policy period. D. That he cannot transfer the policy to Pieter. E. None of the above. Im pretty sure B and C are incorrect, but otherwise I have no clue. Any help would be greatly appreciated!""

Auto Insurance for Military?

My older brother is wondering if he could get cheaper insurance if he went on an auto insurance policy with me. Im active duty Marine Corps if that helps. I don't get much spare time, so any help on this would really help, thanks.""

Who does the cheapest car insurance for 17 year old males?

I am looking to get insured on a peugeot 106 quicksilver for under 3,000 its only a 1.4 but all the company's i look at want up to 11 grand.""

Life insurance recommendation?

Hello !! Michael, I am interested in a term life insurance policy for myself and my wife. We are 50 and 51 years of age and in overall good health. We are both overweight according to Farmers insurance guidelines. Everything was fine with regards to our health except for their restrictions about the weight issue. My question: What are we supposed to do in order to be insured with a reputable company ? We would be willing to pay a higher premium if necessary. Could you Please recommend some insurance companys that provide flexibility with regard to weight. Your help is appreciated !!!!""

your lowest quote insurance company reviews

your lowest quote insurance company reviews

Do car insurance rates go down in the time you have you license even if you don't have car insurance?

I am going to be a new driver and I am wondering if I just drive my girlfriends car without getting my own insurance if when I drive and get insurance for myself in a couple of years if my rates will be lower. Thank you all for any help.

How much would car insurance cost me?

I am a 22 year old female in Washington State, had one incident found to be not at fault, i drive a 98 Dodge Stratus""

What will the insurance cost be for a 2008 Mustang GT?

Ok, my son is about to turn 16 and his mother and I want to suprise him with a new 2008 Mustang GT premium. http://www.fordvehicles.com/cars/mustang/models/index.asp?v=html# That is the page that shows the models of all mustangs and we chose the GT premium for him. The car will go in his mothers name, so how much do you think the insurance will be?""

What is the easiest and most profitable insurance to sell?

Is life and health a harder sell than p&c? Also what company is best to work for, Aflac, Farmers, Allstate, etc.?""

What should I do to get an International Medical Insurance?

I am a visitor in the United States, and I ll be here for about 2 months and I need a Medical Insurance, need some recommendations and where to go, and the docs necessaries.""

Need suggestions on Health Insurance...?

I recently turned 18 and will no longer be covered by my parent's health insurance. I'm going to be going to college next year and my school offers insurance but it will cost almost all of the money I have saved up (leftover money after tuition is paid). Are there any better options? (Being uninsured isn't an option)

Motorcyle prices?

IM thinking about buying a crockrocket. What are the average monthly payments.......ball park... And also, what is an average montly insurance payment?""

How much to insure a 20 year old female learner on mothers insurance for one month in ireland?

i am 20 and want to learn to drive in my mums car (citron saxo 2001) how much roughly would it be to add me to the insurance for one month if ive never had lessons and have only had a provisional licence for 2 months? i live in ireland thanks

""I need a good independant health insurance broker near Houston, Tx.?""

Can anyone recomment a good independant heath insurance broker in the Houston, Tx. area that I can go talk to. I need to sign up for individual health insurance for my family but I would really like to talk to someone in person who would look out for me and not themselves. Has anyone had good experiences with any that they could recommend? Thank you.""

Individual health insurance?

if i can get health insurance from my employer but can get better and cheaper coverage from as an individual do i have to take coverage from my job

Can we insure our life with more than one insurance company?

If so, in health insurance case, how we get reimbursement with one one set of original bills?""

What do i do if I have breast cancer and no insurance?

I am 42 and won't go to the doctor because I have no insurance, I can't pay the $250 for a check up, plus lab fees, just to find out, not to mention the other tests and the referrals I'd get if there was an issue...I'm scared to go to the doctor, and scared not to go. any advice?""

Auto insurance quotes?

Auto insurance quotes?

How much does your insurance go up after a DUI?

Also does old insurance let you back on or they kick you out? I think I was kicked off my dad's insurance... Is there a company I should look at that wouldn't be as expensive as others would since I have a DUI on my record? I'm a 21 yr old female from NJ

Which insurance companies offer the lowest rates for a vehicle?

I would just like to know with peoples experience with different insurance companies which ones are more reasonable than the others. I'm looking to buy a sports car soon so I just need to know which insurance company won't rip me off. thanks

Math Problems about insurance!!!!???? Urgent?

A- You have just bought a new and therefore fairly expensive car. You have to buy insurance. The insurance cost is $1000 for a year but the deductible is only $150. If we assume that the probability of your having an accident in the next year is 10% and that the average cost of an accident involving a car like yours is $5000, what is the expected utility for you of buying insurance? 2- You have just bought a new and therefore fairly expensive car. You have to buy insurance. The insurance cost is $1000 for a year but the deductible is only $150. If we assume that the probability of your having an accident in the next year is 10% and that the average cost of an accident involving a car like yours is $5000, what is the expected utility for you of NOT buying insurance and driving without it?""

Learners permit insurance?

My parents are divorced and my mom took me to get my permit and signed for it. In order to drive with my dad do I have to have a card of her insurance in the car?

Where can I find affordable dental insurance for my father?

He is 50+, I live in Michigan,help please?? I tried looking, but no progress. I want him to get something affordable so he can have better and healthier teeth. Thank you, Jenn""

How much is the insurance for a fiat 500 for a 17 year old?

I am getting a new car. I am oping to get the Fiat 500. But i'm not sure how much on average the insurance for it will be for a 17 year old. xcheerss lovelys x

What should i expect to receive for a 1997 saturn sl1 from an insurance campany after total?

i have a 1997 saturn sl1 that has 122,000 miles on it, power door locks, aftermarket component speakers, tinted windows, automatic, power steering, A/C. i was rear ended and the the body shop told me totaled. now im waiting for the insurance to pay me for the car and make an offer. does anybody have an idea what i should expect. this was a reliable car, i drive this car everywhere, it was supposed to get me to school everyday when i start college and my school is about 10 miles each way. i just dont want a low ball offer where i cant purchase a car thats going to get me to college everyday when i dont have a job. what is the average for this car, in great shape. will they pay for the speakers, the starter i just replaced 2 weeks ago""

Car insurance LUDICROUS! whats happening ?

passed my test a week ago.. (UK) been looking for car insurance on any car thats below a 1.2 and im still getting quotes for 4000 what the ***** am i doing wrong to deserve this ? it's really frustrating as all my friends have car insurance and cars and drive about happily, yet im stuck catching busses, waiting around and generally feeling like a twit... what is it that i am doing wrong ?""

A question about car insurance.?

Do you think the insurance would be cheaper on a 2010 Scion TC (its a coupe btw), or a 2006 Acura TL?""

SR-22 insurance in Massachusetts?

I have a friend whose license was suspended in Rhode Island 6 years ago for failure to pay tickets. He went and paid them all and RI is requesting he purchases SR-22 insurance. He currently lives in MA and we don't have SR-22 insurance in MA. Any help on where to go from here?

Cheapest car insurance?

im 20 and getting my first car.... what is the cheapest car insurance in florida... miami - ft lauderdale area?

Which would be less insurance wise?

I'm trying to figure out what car i want for my 16th birthday.. I've absolutely fell in love with the subaru wrx hatchback. the only thing im worried about is the fact that the insurance rates Might be high. i also like the Genesis Coupe 2.0t and i was wondering which would be more expensive insurance wise. Also what you think about them being first vehicles. and please no<, you should get a POS for a first vehicle... Thanks in advance!! The insurance company is usaa and nothing on the record""

your lowest quote insurance company reviews

your lowest quote insurance company reviews

Is it true that you don't have to have car insurance in wisconsin?

so, it`s not illegal if you don't have any kind of car insurance?""

How much would it cost for insurance for a 17 year old male with a jeep?

Its a 1998 cherokee sport and we live in arknansas. The jeep is a dark green color.

Insurance rates 18 years old?

I am an 18 year old male who has been driving for about 2 and a half years. About how much more would a coupe cost for me than a sedan? http://www.nissanusa.com/altimacoupe/# vs. http://www.nissanusa.com/altima/

Is anyone surpised that Obamacare will double the cost of insurance?

http://www.forbes.com/sites/theapothecary/2013/05/30/rate-shock-in-california-obamacare-to-increase-individual-insurance-premiums-by-64-146/ Why do the Democrats always lie about everything? .

How can i reduce my car insurance?

how can i reduce my car insurance, i have had my license for 11 years, the only fault on my licence is an SP30 giving me 3 points (3yrs ago)... im a 30 yr old male UK born, i have 5yr no claims bonus, (would of been longer but i fell ill) and because im now unemployed because of disability my insurance has gone up over 1000,,,, i done a price comparison quote on a car i'm looking on buying and this is my findings ----- 1.6 Fiat multipla 2001 (factory standard) 30 yr old male with my post code 5yrs no claims, no home owner, with kids under 16, with 3points UNEMPLOYED DUE TO DISABILITY 1897.47 30 yr old male with my post code 5yrs no claims, no home owner, with kids under 16, with 3points EMPLOYED - FACTORY WORKER 872.92 why am i being given such shocking quotes,,,, is there any way of gettin better quotes???? websites used ---- (auto trader insurance comparison site) (compare the market) (go compare) (confused) please help,,, MANY THANKS :-)""

About how much to insure a 2003 Saturn L200?

Looking to get a 2003 Saturn L200 but need to know how much insurance might cost.

How much does motorcycle ensurance cost?

I am planning on getting a bike. used,street bike probably a 04-07 dont know what kind yet but i was curious if a) is insurance on a motorcycle absolutely needed? b)how much if im 18, but father as a co signer with GREAT credit score c)on a $5,000 bike how much would it be a month overall, insurance and payments.""

Whats the cheapest insurance company?

parents wont get me a car cause the insurance is to much. i will be the only driver on the car. any suggestions?

Motorcycle insurance rate estimation?

I want basic liability insurance for a lower cc Honda Phantom, 700 cc tops. I am a 21 year old male who committed a DUI 2.5 years ago and is now alcohol-free. For that reason, I feel ...show more""

Can i find out someones car insurance company?

a lady hit my car back in march of this year. she agreed to pay for the damage but then moved out and skipped town. well the police finaly found her but the problem is i dont know her insurance company. i have her full name, and her vehicle vin number. i dont want to claim it on my insurance so my rates go up, thats nuts. so i need to find her insurance company so i can file it with hers! anyway i can do this?""

Buying Car Insurance for a new car?

I am on my parents policy right now and plan on buying a new car , along with the new car new insurance. My question is, do you buy the car insurance before or after you buy the car. Logic would say before since it is illegal in my state to drive without insurance, but I could be wrong Can someone clarify?""

Best value Florida auto insurance?

I just moved from Illinois to Florida and am looking for auto insurance because my own company is upping my price from $125 to $275 a month with the same coverage (100/300K BI, 50K property, 100K UM, and roadside assistance) with the move. Upon obtaining quotes, the best I've gotten is with Esurance which is just over $200 a month. It seems that adding BI to any auto policy ups the price pretty heavily. Are there any mid-level or local insurance companies in Florida that generally offer better premiums than the heavy hitters I've been quoting with? I'm in Port Richey.""

HELP whats the Cheapest place to ge car insurance in ontario?

im a 18 male just got my g1 not to long ago, i have had/drove cars be4 But i am not doin the driving school thing as i dnt have $500 to Blow! so im just gonna wait the 12months to get my g2 (so ill be 19 goin on 20 when i have my g2), i just started saving for a car tht i plan on puttin on the road after i have my g2 (i can get cars for a fair price so im not worried about tht), but where can i get cheaap Car insurance in Belleviille Ontario?, as i dnt make alot of money right no and nobody else n my family has a license lmao so i cant go under their insurance. and i did a online thing sayin i had a 99 z24 nd it said ill have to pay $1013 a month wht is wayy to much money!! and i have already had a 96 cavailer, 93 mx6 (but i drove em with no license or anything) but now i either wana get a honda civic, sunfire, neon, mx3 or acura, 95 and up""

Can I lose my job for not having insurance?

I have heard so many different things. But I called my job today and I found out that they are offering insurance but it is to high to buy for me because it would cost $30 per week. ...show more

Insurance for a 16 year old?

How much would insurance be for a 1990 corvette? I'm 16 years old, btw.""

2002 Toyota Corolla vs 2000 Honda Civic?

which one should I get and why? I am planning on getting one of these cars next year when I turn 18 to use just as a daily driver to get me home to school and work and every now and ...show more

""How do you purchase a car without insurance, and how do you get insuracnce with out a car?""

I left my insurace expire, and noe I need to get insurance, but I don't know what car i'm going to get, so which comes first, the insurance or the car?""

How much would insurance cost for a 19y old with a corvette?

approximately?

Non owners insurance in california?

i am considering non-owners insurance for a car. however, if i drive my friend's car, their insurance policy will cover me. 1) what is the point of getting non-owners insurance, if non-owners insurance already assumes that i don't have frequent access to a car, and my friend's policy will cover me, also assuming i don't have frequent access to his car? also, i know, in the case of an at-fault accident with my friend's car, and assuming i have non-owners insurance, my friend's insurance will kick in first, then my non-owners insurance will cover what's missing. 2) what's the point of non-owner's, if my friend's limits are high enough already? 3) won't my friend's insurance increase since his insurance company had to pay? 4) if my friend's insurance increases, then what does the non-owner's insurance cover/protect??""

Insurance on a 2004 lamborghin gallado?

how much would it cost a month for insurance min to max and what do you pay for insurance

Do car insurance and registration have to be under the same name?

let's say Sally buys a car and it's under her name but gets car insurance under her sister's name. is that okay? or both have to be under Sally's name?

Need cheaper car insurance?

right now im paying 388 with a company called dairyland insurnace. i have points on my license right now. and it is killing me. the car is a 06 dodge stratus. should i raise my deductible? switch to aig insurnace. this is just way too much. the lowest id prefer to go is 300 even. anyone know any good companies or the best way to find cheap insurnace . should i look in the yellow pages and not the net

Insurance related question?

I am planning to take a savings plan insurance in SBI Life Insurance for tax benefits and for my future benefit also. Is SBI Life Insurance reliable or shall i consider for some other insurance company? If you think other Insurance company, please suggest some good company names. And do you think my option for saving plan is good or shall i look for some other plan? Your suggestions are welcome and thanks for your time.""

Car Insurance?

I am in the process of my my own car. I have been sharing my dads old car with my sister. I am 21, I got my licesnce when I was 18, and I have not yet had it three years. My dad called the insurance company and they told him it would be over 2600 paid in full because I have not had my liscence for 3 years, and in January it will drop. is this true, or does he just not want me to get a car?""

How much do you pay for health insurance per month?

Just your portion/ per month / your age I am 30 and did not choose a health plan at work because I think $170 a month for basic HMO is too much for a single healthy person. I used to pay $60 with dental and vision at my last job (which I know is really cheap). When I interviewed here they told me they had a great health plan. Well, guess what they lied! I will definatly be asking more questions about health insurance when I talk salary for my next position.""

your lowest quote insurance company reviews

your lowest quote insurance company reviews

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/cotuit-massachusetts-cheap-car-insurance-quotes-zip-2635-joanne-manor/"